After years at the top of the trail and ultra running worlds—Hardrock 100 champion, Nolan’s 14 FKT holder, and consistent podium finisher—Sabrina Stanley's life changed overnight when she was diagnosed with ovarian cancer in 2025. What followed were multiple surgeries, chemotherapy, medical menopause, and ongoing immunotherapy.

In this conversation with host and friend Corrine Malcolm, Sabrina shares what it's like to navigate cancer while still training as a professional athlete, why ultra running prepared her for treatment, and how redefining success has helped her return to racing at the Arc of Attrition 100—one of the harshest winter ultras in the world.

She opens up about:

1. Returning to ultra running after cancer
2. Her OnlyFans sponsorship, and having autonomy over your body and career as a female athlete
3. How ultra running helped in her cancer journey
4. What it means to race before you feel “ready”

Whether you’re an athlete, a cancer survivor, or someone navigating massive life change, let's redefine what success and strength look like.

This episode is brought to you by rabbit. If you're looking to treat yourself after the holidays or upgrade your winter running kit, head to www.runinrabbit.com and use code FEBTRAIL in February for 10% off.

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Foreign.

Hey.

Hi.

Hello.

Welcome back to Trail Society, produced by our friends over at Feisty Media.

I'm your host, Corinne Malcolm and today's episode would not be possible without our incredible support behind the scenes at Feisty.

Thank you to the amazing women who keep this show moving like a well oiled machine.

Please give them a follow on Instagram heistymedia and check out the website for more information on other Feisty podcasts at Feisty Co. Today's guest is the fiercely independent Sabrina Stanley.

You might know Sabrina from her wins at the Grand Raid or the Hard Rock 100, her fastest known time throwdowns on Nolan's 14, or her podium in top 10 finishes at races like Leadville, Western States and UTMB.

I'm personally fortunate to know Sabrina as a former teammate and dear friend.

After nine months, three surgeries, chemotherapy, an amazing wedding and now in the midst of immunotherapy, Sabrina has made her return to ultra racing after competing in the arc of attrition 100 mile at the end of January.

She joins us today to talk about the journey back to the start line and what it meant to get to that finish line.

Sabrina Stanley, welcome to the podcast.

How are you?

I'm good, how are you?

I'm so excited to see you.

I feel like I'm sitting close to technically where you grew up and we'll talk a little bit more about that in a second.

But one thing I'm doing this year is kicking off every single show with the same question and that is simply what is something you wish people knew about you?

And I'll go first.

Well, I grew up in a ball sports family.

The first sport I fell in love with was figure skating and I did it somewhat mediocrely for almost a decade.

I love that.

Something I wish they knew about me.

I don't know.

I think just like being in the sport you get perceived as like your sports personality and I think we're just so like dimensional humans that I, I think I have like a really funny side of a really spontaneous side of a very like unserious side that doesn't get highlighted as much when you're competing.

And so yeah, just like the different like goofy facets of my personality.

So I guess I'm like a really goofy person that doesn't come through.

I love that actually Abby hall, something very similar.

She was like, I'm just kind of really goofy, and no one gets to see that.

And knowing both of you, that is very, very true.

I mentioned that I'm sitting not that far from where you grew up.

I actually got to go to your hometown earlier this fall.

And we grew up in very similar ball sports families.

Like, I think our parents, particularly our dads, were very into, like, traditional ball sports.

We competed in ball sports growing up.

I'm just wondering how that.

How sport in that way shaped you as a young athlete and how that maybe, I don't know, was, like, the foundation for you as a competitive person today.

Yeah, I mean, I think it just showed me how to use my body and how, like, I need that physical release to be, like, a normal, happy human.

And so if I don't have that, then I kind of feel lethargic and gross and, like, I just need that outlet of physical exertion.

And so when once I wasn't playing team sports, I was like, how do I get this?

And that's where running entered the picture, because it was like, something somebody doesn't have to, like, teach you.

You can just, like, walk out your door and run.

And I was like, okay, this feels good.

It feels good to sweat.

Feels good to push myself.

And this is what I feel most at home doing, because I've done it since I could walk.

And so, yeah, that's.

I think, by my dad kind of pushing us into team sports.

You were kind of, like, guided through how to work out and that aspect of it.

And so it lent itself to working out as an adult.

And then the whole other aspect is just when you're on a team sport, you have so many girlfriends that are just, like, naturally built into your life, which is amazing.

And I think when we were a part of Adidas, like, we got that again, was like, you were forced to be friends in.

Not forced to be friends, but, like, you were.

You were given the opportunity to make friends with your competitors in a way that, in a solo sport, isn't always there, because we were always traveling together and had team camps and stuff like that.

And so just being on team sports, you.

You've got that, like, sisterhood aspect of it, too.

Yeah.

Which I love, because I can be married with that competitive aspect and can be married into, like, us showing up as our very best as individuals while still being part of the same team.

And actually, I'm going to.

There's this question that I was excited to pose, and it was the idea that so we were teammates for five years, and during that time, I think when you were being kind of asked to come onto the team, you were described as, like, a.

As a lone wolf.

But what they said in that was, like, she's a lone wolf, but she's also fierce, and because she's fiercely independent, but you're also incredibly loyal and loving and take care of your pack.

And that was kind of that, like, the win of this independent person, but also this person who, like, is going to show up for team when team matters.

And I'm wondering how that resonates with you, this idea that there are those two sides to.

To your athletic story.

Yeah, I mean, I think those kind of always go hand in hand.

It's.

It's hard, I think, to be a fiercely competitive person.

And, like, because that shows a loyalty to.

Towards yourself and that personality.

And so then when you have somebody that you care and love about, like, that you just naturally are insanely loyal to them as well, because you want them to succeed also.

And so I think that I'm.

I want to say particular, but, like, I am very.

I like to be specific about who I let into my circle, and, like, they have to show me that they're just as loyal to me in a way, you know?

And so I, like, everyone in my circle, I would fucking get.

Sorry, would kill for.

I don't know if you can swear, but, like, you know what I mean?

And so.

Because I feel the same that they would do for me.

And so, yeah, I just, like, once I see that loyalty in somebody else, like, I bond with that and, like, oh, I see you.

Like, I know who you are, and I. I recognize that in myself.

And so I just want to be.

Friends with you, and I think that's interesting.

And again, Abby and I talked about this as well, because she's like.

People always describe women as, like, smiling around the mountain, and we're here to win, and you are a person.

And I think the sport has changed in a way, and we respect women a whole lot more than we used to.

It's not just about them smiling around the mountains.

They are there.

Like, we're there to compete, we're there to win.

But you were a person who's definitely taken on some of that pushback because you've been up front about your goals, about your competitive, about wanting to win.

Famously, I think you got public pushback around Nolan's and how that was something that you cared about a ton and that, you know, like, you and Megan and other people were like, throwing down on this route, and people are like, this isn't within the, like, the spirit of the sport, but I think it completely is.

And the pro women see that and are excited about it.

And I'm wondering, you know, you've gotten to watch that I think, hopefully change as well.

And I'm curious how you feel about how we view competitiveness, particularly in the women's field right now.

Yeah, I mean, I would.

I feel like I distanced myself from it a little bit just because the last year I haven't been, like, in the trenches as much, and so it's not as fresh in my.

My memory, and I haven't been, like, experiencing as much.

But I would also say that, like, when I first entered the sport, as.

I think a lot of women, they're there to, like, establish their spot and who they are and what they can do.

And so that competitiveness needs to be, like, front and center a little bit more, and they're kind of, like, focused on their own goals.

And then I think once you become established, you can kind of, like, not become less competitive, but you can broaden your scope and be like, we're kind of all here for the same reason.

And maybe that's just maturing and seeing and, like, being confident in where you are in the sport as well and being like, like, your success is my success as a woman.

And, like, the more women we can get out there, they're just, like, crushing it and competing with the men and doing better.

Like, the more money that we can, like, get into the sport and hopefully get in female contracts.

And so I think you just get a much broader view the longer you're in the sport and the more established you become, that, like, it's not.

It's not only about you and, like, your reputation and, like, your resume.

It's.

It's, like, us as a whole that are pushing the sport forward and making it more accessible to, like, the women coming behind us.

You know, like, if we can get more money to women who are crushing it entering the sport, then that gives them more time to crush it even more.

And, like, I think that records will fall sooner, and I don't know, it just becomes a more interesting sport to watch, the more competitive it gets.

And I just.

I think it's one of those things where the women's field has felt that for a long time, and now I think we're better able to, I don't know, explain that sensation of what we truly want to the wider, wider audience.

And I don't Know, I think it's oftentimes men who are offended by women stating their competitive intention, whereas like the rest of the women's pro field is, is cheering it on.

So it's been a really good change in my mind.

I was reflecting on your athletic career as many of our athletic careers, most of us were not like one hit wonders.

Immediate success stories came in, won the a hundred mile race, like check.

We've all like come in, had to figure out the sport had some failures and I think.

Did you get timed out of your first a hundred mile race?

Yeah, mile 87.

That's wild.

Like that to me is so interesting at Leadville.

So tell us a little bit about like diving in to ultra running and not having that immediate success, like getting timed out at mile 87.

Well, yeah, I mean I entered the sport fully expecting to be a middle of the pack runner.

Fully expecting just to be like, I've ran 100 miles.

Like I've just physically ran 100 miles.

I can check that off.

I don't care what my time was, I don't care where I place in the field.

Just like I know I can run a hundred miles.

That was my goal and where I expected like it to kind of end.

And so yeah, I ran my first 87 miles technically and I got timed out and like, honestly my training looking back was total garbage.

Um, I was working a ton and I thought like 8 mile runs a day would be enough like leading into it.

And I just kept not doing my long runs.

My nutrition was a joke.

I ran in road shoes.

Like every mistake a rookie can make I made.

And I went into it with all the confidence of a like seasoned veteran.

Oh, it was earth shattering when it didn't go as planned.

Tail as old as time, but yeah.

And so I timed out at mile 87 and wasn't even disappointed like with my place.

I was just disappointed I didn't finish 100 miles.

So I came back the next year and I was like, this summer I'm dedicating everything I can to finishing a hundred miles, like not even doing well.

Like plan probably D was like, maybe I can go top 10 at Leadville, which Leadville's top 10.

Like not to like, it's kind of accessible if you really try.

And so it's not western states or utmb, you know.

And so when I did that was like a secret goal of mine is like, can I go top 10?

And I ended up finishing and I came in fourth and I was like so thrilled and then just kind of kept, you know, signing up for another race and doing well and, and realized I had a knack for it.

But when I ended the sport, there was no like, I'm going to dominate the sport or I'm going to, you know, be at the top of the pack every time or something like that.

I was just like, I want to see if I can run these distances and then how well can I run them?

Yeah, I love that.

It's like this very intrinsic motivation.

It wasn't necessarily like, oh, I'm going to be the very best or I'm going to podium at all these things.

It was like, how well can I do?

And I love to see that kind of through line of that competitive nature in you from like a youth and high school athlete into what has now become your bread and butter.

The a hundred mile distance.

I think that that is cool to see a knack in it.

I tell people, be careful what you're good at.

Like, there are days where I wish I was like really good at the 5k because my life might.

I feel that.

I feel that really hard.

Feel like it sucks when I'm really good at running for 30 hours.

Yeah, I'm just like good at going, like, just set me in third gear and give me some food and I can go forever.

Yeah, yeah, exactly.

And I think it's been cool to watch that change.

And obviously this past year, as you said, you've been away from sport in a big way.

When I was actually doing the math, I was like, wow, this comeback is actually like pretty expeditious and pretty quick.

And we're going to talk about, in my mind why it feels like that.

And I was laughing when I was like going back through Instagram posts because I loved your intro post from March of last year where you were basically just like, you thought I was going to go a traditional route, like kind of like wink.

Like, I personally felt like it was such a great fit and a really exciting move in sport.

But I would like to take like a small step back because people listening to this don't necessarily always understand what the sponsorship landscape looks like in trail and ultra running.

And I'm wondering from your perspective as someone who thinks about this a lot and who has had to think about this a lot because it's your career, how is ultra running and trail running different from Mainstream sports when it comes to accessible sponsorship models.

Oh, I mean, it's just different, right?

Like it's a totally different world.

Yeah, it's so different.

I mean, and I think we're not making the, the income that like I would say your top tier sports are making that are on tv.

And so it's not like if you get one sponsorship and then that doesn't work out after a year, you can ride that out or that income out for a couple more years until you find another one or take some time off.

Like our sponsorships are very much a year salary and like not much more than that.

If, if you're lucky, I feel like you're always kind of on the, like you're trying to constantly perform so that you can get those sponsorships locked in.

And then if you're lucky enough, you can get a big enough sponsor where like that's all you need.

You don't need to have, you don't need to like put a puzzle together of like 10 different sponsors to make enough money to do this at the level you want to do it at.

I was looking at, you know, the scope of sponsorships available and I had been thinking about only fans as an option for a while.

And then my sports agent, Tyler, he said they have an athlete program.

Like, do you want me to reach out to them for their athlete program?

And I was like, yeah, let's just like see what happens.

And they were just as stoked as we were.

And so like going back to like women in the sport, I think, you know, a decade or you know, 15 years ago it was like, there's 10 chairs at the table and there's like one sponsorship for a female out of those 10 chairs.

And now we're kind of just like, no, we're going to start taking other chairs and adding more chairs to the table.

Like we're not all competing for that one chair.

And I think again, like that makes you, makes it easier to support other women as well.

Because we're not, it's not all us against each other trying to get this one spot.

Like we can bring as many chairs to the table as we want.

And I think OnlyFans is opening that door and other sponsors that are not traditional shoe sponsors that are in the sport to allow women and other athletes to, to compete at the levels they want to compete.

And so we're just bringing in money that, that wasn't formally in the sport, you know, to start.

Yeah, it's this idea of like non endemic sponsors, sponsors that are honestly like tried and true.

A shoe brand, a sock brand, et cetera.

And I'm wondering, you know, when you learned about their athlete team, what was that like?

Because they do.

They sponsor hundreds of athletes.

Like tell us a little bit more about what that looks like because I think many of us know Only Fans is like one very specific thing and don't really like go beyond that in our personal knowledge.

Yeah.

So their athlete program, I was just as green to it as, as most people are, I think.

And like it is getting bigger.

But when I first heard about it, it's like, okay, like who are these other athletes?

What sports are they?

And they have like, I don't know that the proper term for it, but like high divers, you know, like the like trick divers that go up like crazy high.

There's one girl, I forget her name that signed the same time frame I did.

They have a Bob's letter, she's German.

I think they have a bunch of different like racing athletes in different niche racing like motorsports and bikes and stuff.

So I just started following a couple of them on Instagram to see like what it was about.

And then the female bobsledder, I started following her on Instagram or sorry, on OnlyFans to see like how she ran her Only fans account.

And there's total free reign to run it as G rated as you want to and just kind of like show your training and your sport and stuff and you can go as far as you want in the other direction as well.

And so there's no pressure to do anything you don't want to do.

And it's just highlighting your sport and showing it to the world and, and you know, promoting their social media platform.

Yeah.

Effectively they were like, we've created a, a Patreon for athletes in a way where it's like allows you to directly interact with your fan base.

I think that's a super interesting element.

And I wonder over the past year, as you've gotten more involved with their athlete team and your own personal brand, how has that been being able to like cultivate this community following and feel like you have that kind of one on one support?

Yeah, it's a totally different, like I, I don't know what I was expecting, but when I got on Only Fans and I was maybe comparing like a 1 to 1 to Instagram and it's totally different.

Like the people on OnlyFans you have to show, you have to take a picture of your ID to be on it.

So there's no bots, there's no like fake profiles, it's like genuine people on there.

And so when you're talking to people, they want to be there, they know what the platform's about and they're so excited to follow you and that you're there.

And Instagram, I feel like, can be a little bit different.

You're not sure who you're, who's on the other end of that line that you're talking to.

And so only Fans has been incredibly positive and just fun to be around.

And.

Yeah, and then because of like my health journey over the last year, like this year, signing with them did not go how I thought it would go.

And I kind of like immediately put them to the test in a way that like an athlete maybe doesn't want to put their sponsor to test.

Like, how, like, are you going to stick by me through this?

Like, I don't know it.

It would be understandable if they're like, this is a lot, you know, early on and, and we'll see you on the other side, you know, if you, if you meet us there.

And so they've been with me every step of the way and been so incredible and so understanding when I need to take a step back and be like, I just can't post about my story right now.

Like, I'm too much in it, I'm too emotional, I'm too, like, I just don't know where this is going and I can't interact and engage with, with anybody like outside my immediate family and circle.

And they were so understanding of that.

And so I'm really, really thankful that the cards fell.

Well, they did in terms of signing with them and their reaction to, to my last year.

Yeah, there isn't a six month injury clause that many of our traditional contracts might have in that regard.

I also love this idea of it's not that one to one to Instagram where it's like, I can't imagine there are a lot of trolls on OnlyFans because they're like, they have to be real humans to be there.

Unless they're giving you a hate follow.

And that's like pretty extreme.

Yeah, I haven't had, like, honestly, I have not had a single negative interaction on Only Fans.

And I've been on it for going on a year now.

And everybody is, is genuinely just so supportive and even like with what I've been going through there, they've been like, you know, I hope you get better.

We're still following you.

Like, we're so stoked that you're back to racing and like, only getting stronger and.

And not to say, like, Instagram is only negative, but, like, those.

Those negative comments do slip through sometimes.

And so when.

And, like, you're always braced for it.

Like, oh, what's this one gonna say?

And so, like, going on OnlyFans, like, I don't have any of that fear.

Just like, every interaction is.

Is positive.

I love that.

I also think that OnlyFans, to me, felt like it gave you a real sense of autonomy and control and a true ability to express yourself.

And so I'm wondering what that felt like as far as a natural alignment went.

Something that you'd been toying with for a while in the background.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I mean, I feel like, within reason, you can do whatever you want on OnlyFans and be, like, the personality you want to be where.

And maybe this is in my head, I felt like, outside of OnlyFans, I was a competitive athlete, and, like, that was my.

My lane with OnlyFans.

Like, sorry, mom and Dad, but, like, I'm a sexual person.

Like, I. I like to show skin.

I like to, like, make jokes and be, like, a little inappropriate, and I like to swear and all those things that, like, might make some people blush or make sponsors a little queasy.

And so I didn't feel like with only fans, I can just be 100% myself.

And as long as, like, there's no hate towards, like, whatever, like, I can just embrace that and not be scared that, like, I don't know, not that I've ever had this, but, like, I've always been aware, like, you can't just, like, I don't know, swear up a storm.

You can't, like, take a running shot with your top off.

You can't, like, there are certain things that might not be embraced in mainstream sponsors, and OnlyFans is, like, get after it, like, whatever you want to do, whoever you are.

Like, we support that.

Yeah.

I think particularly for women and for women in the U.S. right, where we're.

I think we've talked about that offline amongst our teammates, where it's like, yeah, there's a very American viewpoint of what women should be and are, and it's very modest.

And we have European teammates where I'm like, I'm pretty sure she's in her underwear in this photo.

Like, that's totally chill in Spain or France, but it's not chill in the U.S. like, it's a.

We live in a very different reality.

Oh, I.

For some reason, I have so much, like, anger every time I see A male running topless, like, all sweaty and just muscled out and, like, why can't I do that?

Like, I should be able to do that.

And it's like, total garbage that, like, my nipples aren't allowed and theirs are, and that's, like, all it is, like, baseline.

And so, yeah, I like my content on Only Fans is, you know, my running, and it's very similar to my Instagram.

But there are, like, paid posts that you can purchase or, you know, posts that you can purchase that.

That might show a little bit more skin.

And I don't think that they're, like, incredibly, like, sexual.

It's just a woman running topless through the mountains.

Yeah.

It doesn't feel.

It doesn't feel very scandalous all of a sudden when you take a step back.

But I do think we.

We think of it as a scandalous thing.

And personally, I was like, I know again that you'd been talking about this kind of want in the back of your mind for a long time.

And so it all.

All kind of aligned last year.

And I. I was thinking about this and I was like, man, it's kind of ironic, but from the outside, following along, it's like you finally have this.

This brand alignment.

You've got the sense of control over your body, your career, and then suddenly that sense of control, like, shatters in a big way, and you have a pretty huge health diagnosis month, like, mere months after announcing this signing with OnlyFans.

And I'm just wondering, you know, you're.

Like a spoiler, spoiler alert.

Like, you've been dealing with cancer for the past, like, eight, nine months now.

What did that look like?

You have control, you have autonomy, you have flexibility, and then suddenly control is out the window again.

Well, yeah, you feel like going back to what we were just talking about.

Like, you feel this, like, freedom.

Like, oh, I can take these pictures.

I can post them.

I feel so confident and powerful, and then not that all that is gone, but, like, as a female, the things that make you, like, feel that power, like, I'm a powerful female in a way, got stripped from me in very quickly.

Yeah.

Like, turn.

So, like, just to, like, power through some of the details, like, I had a lump on my.

My right.

Or sorry, on my left ovary.

They said it was benign.

They took it out.

Turned out it wasn't benign.

They thought it.

They had, like, got all the cancer out, and then we did a biopsy, and it turns out it was in my uterus.

So then they went back in on July 1st and did a full hysterectomy.

So that is my right ovary, my uterus, my cervix, some lymph nodes took all that out.

And then they thought they'd still caught it, like, stage one or maybe two.

And then they thought once it was out that it was stage three.

So then that meant on August 1st, I went into chemo and did six sessions of chemo, finished chemo November 14th, and.

Yeah, so.

So.

It's a lot.

It is a lot.

It is a lot.

Yeah.

Because you.

I wanted.

I was, like, so excited to be on this path of competing and taking these pictures and, like, promoting only fans.

And, like, I was so excited for all of that and what I thought the future was going to hold, and then every aspect of that is gone.

And now the only way I knew how to engage with social media was to tell my story.

And, like, I just couldn't do that.

Like, I kept thinking, okay, today's the day.

You're gonna, like, write it down and you're gonna share.

And then I couldn't.

And then I'd be like, okay, today's the day.

And, like, for months, I would be like, I'm gonna share more details, and for some reason, like, I just couldn't.

And then I got, like, I would be able to share, like, one post with, like, not a ton of details, just, like, bullet points of, like, where I am today.

And I did two posts like that in, like, I don't know how many months.

I finally feel like I'm getting out of that funk and, like, see the light at the end of the tunnel.

And.

Yeah.

So I'm excited to, like, rejoin the world in a way.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I just feel like I've been in this hole of, like, just literally trying to survive.

It's really hard to share your journey when you're in the midst of it.

Right.

Like, it's really hard to share what's going on when you're in the thick of it and you're in your feels and there's so much uncertainty.

And I think, you know, it sounds weird to say that you were lucky and unlucky because it's cancer.

Like, cancer fricking sucks.

Like, there's not.

There's no luck involved in that.

But lucky in the sense that like, they did catch it, that you were like, that your body gave you signals and they, and the doctors followed up on it immediately in a way, and they didn't let it progress further than it already had.

And I'm, I mean, listening to you rattle through a lot of details, I know that we have women listening to this who have had their own, like, ovarian cancer, their own uterine based cancers, who have had hysterectomies due to, due to uterine masses or cancers.

And they have that same sensation of like losing this piece of their identity potentially, or it just being such a huge change so quickly.

And obviously you're, you're done with chemotherapy, but you're still on.

You still will have immunotherapy for like another couple of years.

So we're through the initial, like, holy cow moment.

Yeah.

And so reflecting on that aspect, I'm just, I'm curious how you're dealing with that now given that you didn't have a lot of choice this past summer.

Right.

It went from zero to hero really quickly.

And now you have a moment to kind of exhale.

Yeah, well, like you were saying, I'm lucky.

I'm very lucky.

And I said from the get go, like, I'm so thankful that I live in this time period because even a decade or more ago, like, I don't know if they would have caught it.

Immunotherapy is like super new.

And I probably would have had way, like, not to say my chemo was easy, but like, we have cold caps now and cold caps help you save your hair.

And like, there are aspects of chemotherapy that are easier than they were a decade or 20 years ago.

Like, you don't, like you.

They have other medicines to prevent the nausea so you're not throwing up.

And like all these things that make it easier.

It still sucks, but like, you still had cancer.

Still cancer.

And it's still like, for a woman in particular.

Right.

Like, not to say that you had, had made a decision about having kids or not, but that it makes a decision for you really quickly too.

Like, that's a huge, Instantly.

Well, like, yeah, I like, always said, like, I'm never ever gonna have kids.

I'm not gonna have kids.

And then I found a partner and like, we met like the day I got diagnosed and so you lied about what surgery you were going through, Being around him.

Yeah.

And like being around Tim, like, oh, maybe I do.

But they're like, there's no time to like, save your eggs there's no time for anything.

They're just like, you're going in.

Like our relationship was so new.

It's not even like we could have made that decision then anyway.

But yeah, that for how much I was like, I'm never having kids.

The aspect of that being ripped from you hit way harder than I would have ever guessed it would have.

But yeah, anyway, so going to where we are today and like embracing this step forward.

I feel like I'm still so new in it that I don't know how it's gonna go yet.

I've had one cycle of immunotherapy.

I raced this past weekend and was supposed to.

So I was flew home, got home like 9 o' clock Monday night and was supposed to be in immunotherapy Tuesday at 9.

And my liver values were strangely through the roof.

I wonder why.

They're like, we cannot treat you.

So I will be going in tomorrow for my second immunotherapy of a total of 18.

So yeah, and they tell you like over and over again, like, immunotherapy has like zero side effects and like you're going to be totally fine.

I, based on my first experience with immunotherapy, I think that might be true for most people, but for me, like, for what I'm asking out of my body, there are side effects.

Like after an hour I hit this wall that is just like insurmountable.

Like I can't, I'm exhausted.

And so, but that first hour feels normal.

And so I think for immunotherapy, like a lot of people, like, oh, like they're going about their day to day, they're doing, you know, their whatever workout that they do, post their chemo treatments to get back to normal and they don't feel immunotherapy especially compared to what chemo did to them.

But I think what I'm asking for my body immunotherapy is kind of like, you're not out of the woods yet.

You'Re asking a lot.

Right.

As.

As alternatives.

Yeah.

So I'm still kind of navigating that.

That's, I mean it's this interesting wrinkle in the whole thing, right.

Where you're like, you're asking a lot of your body.

And I think athletes are also just highly in tuned with their bodies, maybe more so than the general population.

And so you know, when things just feel a little bit off and so this has to feel a little bit more than a little bit off.

I was also reflecting on the Fact that with a huge change in your.

Basically, like, your bioanatomy, your, like, your ability, your body's ability to produce hormones or not was also changed.

So now you're in a position where you had major surgery, you've gone through chemo, you effectively were put into menopause from this procedure.

And because of the way this cancer works.

Right.

Like, you're not a candidate for things like hrt, which is a lot of people.

Like, we've got a number of people in our community who will have had, like, a double mastectomy and maybe a hysterectomy down the road, because they are a BRCA carrier, for example, and they will ultimately end up on some form of HRT to help balance their energy and their hormones.

Yeah, you're not a candidate for that.

So now you have, like.

You're like, is this immunotherapy?

Is this post surgical?

Is this ultra training?

Is this menopause?

Like, that is a huge.

I don't know.

It's a. I.

Calling it a wrinkle feels very diminutive because it's not a wrinkle.

It's like a very.

Yeah.

Prominent piece of the puzzle right now.

And I'm wondering how that's been.

Yeah, no.

So my cancer feeds off hormones, and so, yeah, I'm not allowed to take anything.

And they're just kind of like, you just kind of have to deal with all the symptoms of menopause and.

Yeah.

So, yeah, you're thrown into menopause and then chemo.

Like you said, hysterectomy is no joke.

I feel like getting my left ovary removed was.

Was not a big deal at all.

At least, like, in terms, like, the broader picture.

Like, you know, take two weeks off and, like, ease back into running.

You're good to go.

Getting a hysterectomy was a mandatory eight weeks off, and then, like, slowly returned to, like, easy jogging and, you know, like, kind of build from there.

And, like, my stomach swelled for months, like, so big they call it jelly belly, which I was not, like, had not been warned about.

And, like, we had to, like, Google it.

Is this normal?

Because, like, it just feels like you're carrying, like, 10 pounds of water weight on your stomach.

And, like, as an athlete, that's just like, again, like, I'm with a new partner and, like, all this stuff and you're just like, don't feel.

Feel your best and you're not running, so you don't have that release, and you're, like, mentally so frazzled and like so many questions like, will I be able to run again?

And what does that look like?

Will it be competitive and why am I running then?

Like, do I really want to keep pursuing this with so many questions and stuff?

And it gets to the point where you're just like, I'm just happy to go on a five mile walk today.

Like, I just need, I've mentally have to be outside.

And then you're such a one of one.

Like everybody, every doctor, every nurse is like, we're normally dealing with like, I mean, and cancer is getting diagnosed younger and younger, but at least where I was, like, we're normally dealing with like 80 year old men and women and this is like their experience with chemo.

We have no idea what yours is going to be like, none.

We can't tell you about your athletic career.

We can't tell you anything.

Like you have to tell us and, and we don't.

They also are like, we don't know if it's chemo or menopause or surgery related.

Like, we're figuring this out alongside of you.

And so I was getting like insane hot flashes.

And everybody's like, oh, that's the menopause.

And I'm like, no, they coincide directly with when I get chemo every time.

And it took us way too long to figure out that's the steroids.

Like the steroid.

Your body's reacting to the steroids in an aggressive way.

You're having these like crazy hot flashes.

And then not every chemo session is the same either.

Like every, like my session three and six were like going to kill me.

And like one was like, okay, I can do this five more times, you know, and so, and there's different symptoms with each chemo.

Like, it is just such a maze of like, just like going through and figuring it out as you go.

There's no map ahead of you.

And then, yeah, I don't know, it's, it's been frustrating because there are no answers and you just like want to find, like, just tell me what to expect.

Just what, what is normal and what's not.

And they're like, there is no normal.

And then like the biggest two things, like hair is obviously just like, I don't know, it's, it's very surface level, but prevents you from like walking into a room and have everybody look at you and be like, oh, she's, she has cancer, you know, like it, you can pretend to be normal for a little bit if you are able to maintain your hair.

And like mine still Thinned a ton but it was like manageable with a hat.

And then the other big like side effect of chemo is neuropathy and like as a runner it's like how much is that going to affect me?

And I was told like my team that I worked with was amazing but I was told like once you are unable to button your shirt, let us know and we can talk about reducing some of your meds.

It's like if I can't button my shirt then like we're so far past gone that like and I know it's my hands but like with my feet like I need to be able to feel the rocks and the roots and I need to be able to like grip my toes and like I use my feet and I need that feeling.

And so yeah, being able to navigate like what is short term neuropathy, what's long term, how do we prevent it as much as possible?

Yeah, there's just a lot of like also I have no idea what I'm doing and I don't want to spend my time when I'm sick learning about chemo.

Like I don't have the energy to advocate for myself and so like I don't know how I was so lucky but like Tim and his mom, my mother in law, like they spent all their time researching for me and talking to doctors and being like she's on like the highest dose of, you know, chemo that you can possibly give her for her, her weight and all this stuff.

Can't we half it or do like can we put her on the low range and will it still be effective and like, you know, like elevating your feet and icing your feet non stop and icing your head because that prevents the chemo from getting to your hair follicles and just like all the little things that you can do at home that.

And I can't tell you how many supplements I was on because Tracy, my mother in law was like this one person loss and this one prevents neuropathy and it's all like some people might look at all these studies and be like they're total bullshit and it's just like we don't care, like we're just going to throw everything at the wall and if it works, it works and if it doesn't like we're not at a loss.

And so I have I think like funded half of Thorne's income over the last year.

So.

Pretty Thorn product.

Yeah, it's just like, yeah, I don't know, it's just a lot to handle.

Like I said, like, I can't even tell you what chemo drugs I was on because I, like, I feel like I mentally put up a block to be like, I'm not going to learn this stuff.

And like, Tim could rattle off like my dosages and the different drugs and why I'm on which ones and which ones have which side effects.

And I'm just like, in one year out the other, like, I'm just going to the hospital, letting them fill my veins up and then like leaving and dealing with it then.

So, yeah, he has been a godsend.

Having.

Having that medical advocate in your corner, having that support system in your corner is massive.

And I actually, as you were talking about that, it got me thinking about ultra running in the sense that we run not because we're gonna have the perfect race, but because we're gonna have to troubleshoot and problem solve and figure out the puzzle and we need to rely on other people and lean into other people.

It's not just me putting one foot in front of the other.

Like, having a team, having the support person is important to get you from aid station to aid station, as do you think?

And this feels very like, cliche to even say or ask, but do you think ultra running in a way prepared you to deal with this cancer battle?

Oh, every.

So I had chemo every three weeks and that was like a race for me.

Like we would prep the night before.

Like, this is the crew bag.

This is what I need.

Like, this is my heating pad and my ice, My hand ice buckets and my foot ice bucket.

And like I had like ice mittens and ice socks and like we had like this ice cap we had to bring and like the spray bottle to get your hair wet.

And like all of our snacks laid out.

And then we had books and games and like, this is our crew bag for chemo and we, like, this is my blanket and my puffy and like, just to be as comfortable as you possibly could.

And then like, again, I. I know I'm like talking about Tim and his mom so much, but they did not miss a beat.

And so we would show up at like 7:45 and then Tim's mom would show up around like noon and she would bring us like Starbucks and treats and we would be there till six at night.

And so like we were just there all day every day.

And like to have Tim there and then his mom show up and just.

I had a girlfriend who's also an ultra runner fly in and she sat with me all day and just to have like, just literally people sit with you, like that's all you need is just like to not feel alone.

And yeah, it definitely was like a team effort.

And so Tim crewed me at his very first ultra race, well, his first crewing ultra race this last weekend.

And like everybody's like, aren't you scared?

Like he's never crewed before all this stuff.

I'm like, I have no qualms at all.

Like, I have full faith that no matter what he'll figure it out and like it'll be totally fine.

And he crushed it and it was so much fun.

So yeah, like, I think you know when you get stuff hand handed to you in life like that you figure out like who you can lean on.

And he just has kept showing up no matter what.

I, I'm just picturing him crewing in like the most horrible weather possible at this race that you just did.

Yes.

And that's what we're talking about.

It's.

I think I messaged you probably 24 hours after the race and I was like, we have to talk.

This will be super fun.

Yeah.

And it was this idea too that like you didn't just return to racing last weekend, you completed and competed in a hundred mile race because that's how we are at arc of attrition and the weather was awful.

I'm just, I'm curious.

I mean, I guess it's kind of one of those.

We chatted a little before the race and it was kind of a like go before you're ready sensation where it's like, I have no idea if I'm ready for this or not, but I have to go do it and I have to figure out where, where I'm at right now in this running journey.

I guess maybe in that pre race moment, how did that feel?

Like stepping up to a start line maybe before in a way you felt like you were completely ready?

Um, yeah.

So I signed up for this race.

Like I said, there's like good chemos and bad chemos or like manageable chemos and chemos that you didn't think you were going to live through.

And so there's like a particularly good chemo.

I think it was like number four and I was running really strong and I was like, this is great.

Like if I can, man, if I can run like this, like, so chemo is every three weeks.

Week one is like just a total loss.

Week two is like you're kind of neutral, you're getting back into swinging some things and Then week three, if you can make gains, you know, and then that cycle just repeats and repeats.

So yeah, I think it was chemo number four.

I was feeling like particularly strong and has like, okay, I can, I can race.

Like I'm like mapping out like if I can like keep training like this and like have some sort of consistency with it, train through December, I could, I can easily race like the end of January.

So I signed up and then chemo number six killed me.

Like I couldn't race or I couldn't run.

Oh man.

I like three, four weeks or more.

Like I went into immunotherapy.

I think it was December 5th and that immunotherapy like was way harder on my body than I thought it was going to be.

So I was doing like, I don't know, 40 mile weeks, let's say maybe 50.

And I just like, was hitting walls.

And then I was like, I should be doing.

If I were taking this race seriously, I should be doing 100 mile weeks.

Like, what am I doing right now?

I can't race.

Like, this is not who I am.

And Even though my 50 mile weeks, like I was doing them, they weren't particularly strong.

And so then I was kind of like, okay, I'm not racing.

And then the next day be like, should I race?

And it was just so indecisive for so long and I made my decision.

I'm not going to race.

And like, before I pull the plug, I'm going to talk to Tyler, my sports agent and just like let him know where I'm at so that he can talk to only fans and like, figure it out.

Yeah, it'll, it'll be fine.

Like, it just, I've like learned over the last year, it'll.

Everything will be fine.

So I talked to him and I was like, I've gotten into 30 mile runs and they were so, so like I feel okay about them.

I think I could have gone further.

I didn't feel insanely strong, but I did them.

And yeah, I don't think it's a question of finishing.

I think it's a question of like, I think we're looking at top five, maybe top ten.

I don't think we're looking at a win.

And I was like, I don't know if I want to jump back on the scene like that.

And I think we've also like, have a little PTSD over the last year where like you sign up for a race and you don't show up.

And he's like, I think you just pull the trigger.

Like, if you don't, like, maybe you sprain your ankle before March.

Because, like the next race I would potentially do would be March.

He's like, maybe you sprain your ankle maybe, like, who knows what could happen if you feel that you can finish this race, like, just go do it.

And so I was like, okay.

And I thought about it and I'm like, yeah, I just want to be at that start line.

And so then we get there and like, I don't know, like, you get like little like wiggles and niggles that like pop up and you're like, I don't think I'm supposed to be here.

Like, this is a mistake.

Like, this isn't good.

And then you're just like, I don't care if I have to walk this out.

I'm finishing this race.

And so that was the mindset from the start line and I was like, if, like I was having like this hamstring issue that I thought was gone.

And so like every mile I was just like, if my hamstring explodes, I only have to walk 99 miles now.

Okay, I only have to walk 98 miles.

So every mile was just like one less.

I have to walk at, you know, 30 minute pace.

And that was kind of just like my mindset.

Just like just one mile at a time.

Get it done.

And whenever you finish, you finish.

And yeah, the weather was horrendous and it was way more technical than I thought it was going to be for a race.

I'm so ecstatic I finished and yeah, it was just an experience.

And now I know, like, I can finish 100 miles and so now we can work on speed.

I think it's super interesting and I'm really proud that your agent was like, I think you should do this.

Like, I think, I think this is the right call.

And I, I'm just reflecting on us as runners.

I know that we're humans that are incredibly critical of ourselves and we have really high expectations for ourselves.

And that might mean that when we have a disappointing race were we beat ourselves up a little bit about it because we do.

We have really high expectations for how we want to perform.

And I'm wondering, I mean, obviously you got to the start line and you said, I'm going to finish this thing kind of no matter what.

But that in my mind feels like a pretty big shift.

Not to say it's a permanent shift, but it feels like a pretty big shift from the Sabrina that I have known for the past, you know, Six, seven years.

I think that shift had to be embraced because, like, just being totally transparent, if I had to wait to march to race, like, mentally, I was losing my mind.

Like, I.

It had been 14 months since I raced, and I just, like, don't know if I could have made it 16.

Like, I mean, obviously I would have made it, but I was, like, just in such a dark place, and I'm just like, I just need to feel normal again.

I need to feel like myself.

I need to be amongst my people.

I need to just get this outlet.

Like, I can't just live the same day every day of just, like, going and training with, like, not a certain goal at the end.

Like, sure, I could have signed up for a race in March, and, like, I would have got to march, and I would have felt just as nervous, and, like, maybe my training would have been.

I'd been more prepared, I would have been more fit or whatever, but I don't know how easy those two months would have been.

And so, like, being able to go to the start line, get to the finish line, take such a weight off my shoulders, be like, okay, I raced, and, like, it is what it is.

And, like, I'm stoked on fourth place.

Like, if you had told me a year ago that I'd be this happy about a fourth place, like, I would have said, you're crazy.

Oh, I know.

Like, there's so many things in my life that if you told me a year ago, this is where you'd be, I'd be like, I don't know what happened.

This is not right.

I mean, nine months ago, it's not even a year ago.

It's like, we're talking about eight or nine months.

Like, and, you know, I mean, it's like, I hate when people tell me I'm gonna, like, learn so much from this experience, and, like, I'm done learning.

Like, I don't want to learn anymore.

I want to just, like, do what I want to do.

Yeah.

That is.

I mean, I. I mean, I'm thrilled for you.

And it felt like forever, and it was in a lot of ways, forever.

Yeah.

But some people are gonna see nine months and be like, holy cow.

Like, Sabrina got back quickly from this, you know, this kind of, like, crazy life turmoil.

Like, you know, everything going completely awry.

Yeah.

But I do think it's an interesting reflection of, like, if you told me a year ago that I would be stoked on this thing, I wouldn't believe you.

And I think that that is that blessing of, like, Ripping the band aid off and getting back out there even when it wasn't perfect, even when we weren't completely ready for it.

Yeah, yeah.

No.

So many times, like, Tim and I have said, like, if you just give us this snapshot, I've been like, who's that beside me?

Like, where?

What's going on?

Like, I don't know, it just.

I needed that in, like, the worst way.

And like, I. I feel like I didn't even realize, like, how much pressure it would have taken off just to like, if I'd come in last, I would have been, I think, equally as stoked.

And I believe, like, I gave every ounce of myself to that race.

Like, there's.

I'm not like, oh, if I had ran like this section faster, if I had not stopped the aid station this long, or if I'd done, you know, whatever, I could have jumped a spot or, you know, whatever it is, it's like, no, I left everything out there and like, that's all you can ask for.

And like, again, going back to the weather, like, I've never taken so much time probably at aid stations, Like, I don't know my accumulative time at aid stations, but every crew to aid station.

I changed.

Sports bra, T shirt, long sleeve jacket.

Like, you were just drenched to the bone the entire time.

Socks.

Like, it's like, I'm gonna leave here and I'm gonna feel comfortable.

Like, Like, I've never raced where I'm like, I wanna feel comfortable, but, like, I was like, screw it.

Like, my goal is to finish and I'm gonna finish.

And I think these 20 minutes I went to get an aid station to be warm will pay off later on than just being like, miserable and trudging through this water and rain and wind for however many hours.

We saw that payoff at UTMB this year.

The people who took time to put.

Put an actual jacket on like, that made or like, made or broke?

That's not even how you say it.

A section for people, right?

Like, yeah, that was the lessons learned.

Like this race, I saw pictures from you.

I saw pictures from Corinna, the Swiss gal who finished, I think in fifth.

And just like thin pants, like, and is still covered in mud somehow.

Like, it.

It looked so gnarly.

Everybody, everybody, full pants, full, full rain kit.

And like I told Tim, going into it, like, this is like my extra bag of gear.

I've never touched it in all the races I've ever done.

Like, I have an extra pair of socks for every aid station.

I have extra sports bras, long sleeves.

Like I'll, I'm.

It's like kind of a security blanket.

I won't touch this bag.

Like I'll be in and out of aid stations so fast.

And I came in like eight station one.

I'm like, okay, we need to change socks right now.

And I'm like, I know they're going to be wet immediately, but there's so much like grit in my toes that like, I don't care if they get wet again, we just need to clean them out and then you know, like again, sports, broad, T shirt, like just to get wet or to get dry and get that dampness off your skin.

Especially like it's a 1pm start and so it gets dark there at like 4:30 and then doesn't get light again till 8.

And so you're in the dark most of the race.

You're selling this race so strongly by the way.

Yeah.

I mean it's UK in January and you're on the coast.

Like you didn't know if it was like waves or rain.

Like you're just getting like hit by wind and water and like who knows where the water's coming from.

But you're just constantly, like constantly.

So there's one like little section that you had to go across and there's like a guard or like a guy volunteer watching you.

But like you're just getting slammed by waves.

Like you're like going through this town and like the guy in front of me was like 6:2 and it like brought him to his knees.

Like you're just like full on like crazy water.

Yeah.

And like has.

You're just like in like waterproof gloves the entire time and it's just, it was by far the worst weather I've ever had in an event.

And like you just kind of again, you just like tell yourself we're finishing this no matter what.

Like it's miserable for everybody out here.

Like just one mile at a time.

I love that you chose like what was probably like one of the flatter 100 mile options out there.

And yet it still was like somehow intentionally so.

So freaking hard from every, every direction.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I guess kind of reflecting on some of that.

Were you able to though?

I mean, weather aside, you know, coming back, first race in a long time aside, were you able to like dig into that competitive spirit outside of like the survival instinct of like my hamstrings bothering me, I want to finish this thing no matter what.

Were you able to find competitive moments out there?

With the rest of the field and the rest of the women.

Yes.

I would say it was more like overall, it wasn't like female specific.

It was just like, okay, like, you know, I'm in this pack of men.

Can I like, I'm constantly like, okay, like, how can I gain on the person in front of me?

How can I pass the person in front of me?

Like, you know, like when you get past, you're like, God damn it.

Like, you're not stoked on it.

Um, yeah, so I think.

And then I also was like, I'm going to try not to walk at all.

You know, like, obviously, like sometimes it's so technical and you just can't run through like knee deep water.

It's not efficient.

But if I should be running, I'm going to be running.

And I really tapped into that as much as I possibly could.

And I had some really strong sections.

I feel like where I dug deeper into that then there were other times where it's just like you're at an aid station and you're changing all your clothes and like a female runs in and leaves and you're like, it.

You just kind of like put your hands up.

You're like, I don't.

I'm here to finish.

Like, so I think there were times where I wasn't as competitive.

I would have.

Would have been in the past or like, I would have been like, so friend, not frantic, but like, so rushed in the aid station, like, I need to get out of here.

I need to go.

I need to chase her down.

And then there was also just like the aspect of like, nope, you aren't competitive here in the, in this realm, but like on the trail, like your competitive shows through where you're just gonna keep pushing no matter what and be consistent.

And so like I said earlier, like, I still don't think I have fourth and fifth gears, but like put me in third gear and just like send me on my way.

And so that was kind of.

My attitude is like, if it was gonna be a sprint to the finish, I don't know if I could have done that.

And like the female behind me, she finished like it was like a minute 19 and she came out of nowhere.

And like, I'm so thankful I was as close to the finish line as I was because I would not have been able to, I don't think push as hard as she probably could have to that finish line if it was a sprint.

But yeah, like, I just like knew that third, third gear was my bread and butter.

And I was just going to sit in it all day.

I love that.

I love that.

It's like you took exactly what the day gave you and that you found those moments to be competitive and to be, I think, the Sabrina we know you to be on the race course while also, just, like, really taking care of yourself and getting the day done.

A new race experience, um, what are you gonna take from arc of attrition forward into the rest of the competitive season as far as, like, lessons learned or things that you're excited to build off of?

Yeah, I mean, I think just this whole year, like, Arkansas arc of attrition included.

Like, I don't know, it'd be really hard for me to finish a race and be disappointed now.

Like, I think old Sabrina would have, like, if you're not in first, I would have been like, ah, like, I can do better than that.

Like, I should have done blah, blah, blah.

Now it's just like, I hope this doesn't go away, but I'm just so happy to race.

I'm so happy to be running and feel strong and capable and, like, not.

Not be sick, you know?

Like, so even if I think that my fitness.

I should win a race and I come in third or I come in 10th, I think it's just like, oh, I got to finish another 100 miler.

Like, I got to do this.

And so, yeah, like, the old me would have been like, what?

Like, where that's not competitive.

But I'm not saying I'm not competitive anymore.

I'm just, like, so much more appreciative of just, like.

And I hate to be corny, but just, like, life and the opportunity to still be competing at this level and, like, luck.

Like, I heard.

I forget the name.

Like, whatever, like, huge.

Like, cancer.org whatever they that, like, I think it was like, 20 years ago.

Like, if you got caught with cancer, it was like, a 50% mortality rate, and within five years, and now they're saying that it's 30%.

And so 70% of people who get caught with cancer, like, they'll live at least five years after that.

And, you know, the younger you are, hopefully longer.

And so I know, like, they were.

I was never.

At least to my knowledge.

My doctors were always like, we contained it.

We got it out.

Chemo is going to solve it.

My cancer markers are all, like, way low now.

And, like, immunotherapy is a Precaution.

It's not, I'm gonna pretend like it's not 100 necessary.

We're just doing it to make sure.

But you still like look at life a different way, you know, like you still have months where you're not training and you're like recovering and you're like this is way too real.

You know, this is, it's just scary.

It's, it's, it's scary to face that like aspect of mortality.

And so yeah, I'm just like so thankful that I get to do what I do and am back to competing at closer to a normal level that I was at and hopefully I continue to get closer and closer to what I used to be and I think I will.

So yeah, it's just, I think moving forward it's just a gratitude towards the sport and towards my body.

Yeah, I don't even know what that looks like.

You're like we'll find out.

Do you know and you don't have to, you don't have to tell us obviously there's a lot up in there.

Do you know what you might be racing next where we get to see you next?

Yeah, I mean I'm kind of like feeling out my body over like the next couple of weeks or months.

You did just race.

I don't know me putting a lot of pressure on.

Yeah like four days post 100 mile.

And I'm trying to be, be rational and because everybody's like your body has been through a lot and like it might not recover the way you have in the past.

So we're gonna see how recovery goes.

I would say like I'm definitely would like to race Canyons 100.

I'm not signed up but I would like, I kind of want to race in the States.

I would like to race in like the late spring, early summer.

Um and that feels like a good race to like jump to next.

So that's what is like causing the twinkle in my eye currently.

We'll see like again how recovery goes.

Cuz I, I do wanna race healthy.

Like I don't wanna like jump into a race I'm not ready for.

Um and then I am signed up for utmb.

So that is the long term goal and so like big picture I wanna show up to UTMB healthy and that that is like overall what's most important.

And then if I can do some races along the way then I will and who knows what distance but if possible I would like, to do Canyons 100?

Heck, yeah.

Yeah.

Oh, that's so exciting.

Oh, I can't wait for UTMB now.

It's another, like, reason for me to be stoked in August.

Yeah.

Okay.

I have one kind of closing question that I ask everyone as well, and it's a little bit of a reflection.

I know we've been very reflective for much of this podcast, but it's simply, what is something that you know now that you wish you could tell your.

Your younger self?

Oh, man.

Like, I hate how simple this is, but just like, don't take anything too seriously.

Like, I think just like, live in the moment as much as possible.

I like you hear it all the time, but, like, you just don't know what tomorrow brings.

Like, you just.

You really don't.

And so you need to just appreciate, like, the path you're on, you know, and then try to find the positives in it.

Like, if I hadn't been doing what I do, I don't think I would have caught cancer the way I caught it.

So I think I just have to be thankful for that.

Like, if I had went and raced it in Argentina, I might have attributed it to like, post race something or other and not race for a month and also not caught it.

And so even, like, I'm just gonna throw every cliche at you, it can.

So, like, when one door closes, everything.

Happens for a reason?

Yes, yes.

Like, I.

And like, I never would have met Tim.

There's so many great things that have happened through cancer.

Ironically enough, I have recently moved to Steamboat with Tim and like, I've met so many incredible women who are nurses, who are athletes.

Like, my nurse practitioner is a trail runner.

One of my nurses, she's done Leadville mountain bike race like four or five times.

Like, there's so many incredible athletes that have been taking care of me and so they get it.

And yeah, it's like there are, like, bright spots to be appreciated along the way.

I love that so much.

And we're just going to combine all the cliches together.

It's like when one door closes, everything happens for a reason.

So I do, I do think that it's been pretty special to watch.

It was pretty special to be at your wedding in the fall and to meet Tim.

And I am so excited to see him and you maybe at Canyons and then see both of you at UTMB later this summer.

Yes.

Awesome.

Thank you so much for joining us.

I love you so much.

This was fun.

Chatting with Sabrina.

Felt like catching up with an old friend.

And in fact, that's exactly what it was.

I am super appreciative of Sabrina's honest candor today and hope that we can all take some of that gratitude with us to Future Start Lines.

A huge thank you to our producing partners over at Feisty Media.

Follow them over on Instagram at Feisty Underscore Media or go over to their website Feisty Co to see what they've got cooking up.

We'll catch you next week, or until then, we'll see you out on the trails.