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How to stay resilient and love your life with Adam Markel
Episode 389th January 2021 • Success Inspired • Vit Müller
00:00:00 01:07:32

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My guest today is someone really special to me.

In 2015 he inspired me to be better version of my self and really helped me reignite the fire when I was going through some challenges in my business. I attended his 3 day intense personal development event in Sydney. This was one of the best 3 days spent on myself and today 5 years later I'm privileged to have him as a guest on this show to help inspire you to be better too!

He is #1 Wall Street Journal bestselling author of ​the book Pivot: The Art & Science of Reinventing Your Career and Life.​

As sought-after top international keynote speaker, emcee and workshop facilitator, he has reached tens of thousands worldwide with his message of Resilience as the competitive edge in the face of today’s complex markets.

An attorney, entrepreneur, transformational trainer and executive mentor, he is a business culture catalyst who inspires, empowers and guides organizations and individuals to create sustainable, high performance strategies.

His latest workbook, the ​I LOVE MY LIFE CHALLENGE i,​s available for pre-order. Inspired by his viral TEDx Talk the workbook includes tangible, repeatable prompts and exercises that readers can use personally and professionally to center themselves for better performance in the face of change.

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  • (00:00:28) - Introduction of my guest today
  • (00:03:49) - We talk about importance of resilience
  • (00:10:30) - Find out what your resilience score is
  • (00:14:44) - Adam talks about his mid lifecalling and anxiety attack that kicked of his big career transition from being a lawyer
  • (00:20:39) - Don't live in the past when you're trying to move foward
  • (00:24:43) - What other people think of you is none of your business
  • (00:26:21) - What if you decided to love your life? No matter what
  • (00:32:56) - Take the I love my life Challenge
  • (00:41:02) - Where do you start to find that first domino?
  • (00:49:00) - Don't tear down the first bridge until you've got the second one built.
  • (00:55:32) - What was that journey like for Adam to become a public speaker
  • (01:07:17) - Mine and Adam's morning rituals we recommend to you

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Introduction of my guest today 

 Vit Muller: [00:00:28] Hello, everybody VIT here for another great interview on the Success Inspired Podcast. My guest today is somebody really special to me.In 2015, he inspired me to be better version of myself and really helped me reignite the fire when I was going through some challenges in my business, I attended his three-day intense personal development event in Sydney, and this was probably one of the best three days spent on myself.

[00:00:54] And today. Four years later, actually five years later, I'm privileged to have him as a guest on the show to help inspire you to become better too. He is number one wall street journal best-selling author of the book, Pivot , The Art and Science of reinventing your career and life. As a sought after top international keynote speaker MC and workshop facilitator, he has reached tens of thousands worldwide with his message of resilience.

[00:01:21] An attorney, entrepreneur, transformational trainer and executive mentor he is a business culture, catalyst who inspires and powers and guides, organizations, and individuals to create sustainable high-performance strategies. His latest workbook, the 'I love my life challenge' is available right now to pre-order at a time publishing this podcast is probably going to be available already. it's inspired by as viral TEDxTalk and the workbook includes tangible, repeatable prompts and exercises that readers can use personally and professionally to center themselves for better performance in the face of change, please welcome to the show, Adam markel.  

Adam Markel: [00:02:07] Awesome to be here. Great. Great to, uh, for you and I to reconnect. Absolutely. Yeah. It's like where, where you and I are reigniting. 

Vit Muller: [00:02:17] Oh, absolutely. Yeah. Like I'll tell you what, that, that 2015 or 2016. I can't remember. anyway, that year in ours. I was scaling my business, you know, my fitness business, I was taking over a gym.

[00:02:30] I was, you know I just signed a exclusivity agreement to, to have personal trainers working under me and everything are going well. But also at the same time I was working longer hours. And and you know, I felt like maybe a little bit of doubt, you know, that the, the imposter syndrome a little bit.

[00:02:46] So going to your event, I might say, you know, I left well, like. Very refreshed, you know, like some, some, there was some real key questions that you asked us the audience and, and some exercises, some breakthrough exercises that we did. And I really enjoyed the whole experience, you know, like the breaking of the arrow against the neck and, and chipping the board.

[00:03:09] And, yeah, so it was really amazing. Just want to say, you know, thank you once, once again for delivering cause it was really, I would say probably one of the best, best events I went to and highly recommended anybody guys listening while at I'm not sure if you, if you, if you still do these events, uh, but if you guys get to see a chance to see him live, uh, public speaking, he is an excellent public speaker.

[00:03:33] And yet once again, I just want to say thank you for what you do. It's amazing work. 

Adam Markel: [00:03:37] Thank you Vit. No, I appreciate it. Yeah, the, yeah, go ahead. No, after you go right ahead, 

Vit Muller: [00:03:44] say, you know I was gonna just say we could dive straight right in, and, and I was going to ask, you know, 

Importance of resilience 

[00:03:49] what inspired is focused around resilience that you always talk about?

Adam Markel: [00:03:52] Well, resilience, I think is, is the, it really is the most important thing that we can develop as. Entrepreneurs as business leaders, owners, operators of a business. And personally, so personally and professionally, it it's, it's the, it's the most tangible thing right now that we can, that we can do. And I think a lot of people don't quite get the concept of resilience.

[00:04:17] It's, it's something that I think people equate to the ability to bounce back, like. That's their philosophy. I just throw up a graphic on the screen that says this little, little uh, saying like a fortune cookie saying that you've got to develop resilience before you need it. That's that's the key.

[00:04:37] I mean, so many people, I think this year in particular with, uh, with COVID have gotten caught off guard and the, the fear that, that. It has produced, has really impeded many people from growing, growing in their business and growing personally. So to me, the answer to that, the answer to the virus, if you will, is resilience.

[00:05:01] Yes. Is there a vaccine and is a vaccine important and, and. Uh, all of that is, uh, you know, a person's sort of personal, uh, choice in terms of whether the vaccine is something you're going to take or not. But regardless of that, resilience is the vaccine. Resilience is not just the vaccine for the COVID crisis.

[00:05:21] And, and for that, that, but it's for any disruption it's for any level of, of change or uncertainty that you have to deal with on a daily basis. And resilience is something that anybody can develop. Our company has been doing quite a bit of research about resilience. Few years now. And, and for me, when I looked get the successes in my own life, both in my personal life, which we can talk a little bit about that as well as talk about professionally one common denominator in every new, new achievement or new high water Mark in, in my personal or my professional life has always been this, this resilience, this thing that sort of sounds or feels intangible.

[00:06:06] And defining it and, and being able to understand it and understand how it is that you cultivate it and grow it and strengthen it. That's become much more of my life work in the last several years 

Understanding true meaning of resiliance

Vit Muller: [00:06:19] now, for some, this can be a really tricky idea of, you know, how, how do they start? Like some people, I don't know if they've been living for a long time.

[00:06:28] In a state of, uh, in a reactive state and always sort of, you know, ducking their head in the sand. W w when, when things go rough hearing you speak about resilience, how do they, you know, how do they start? I mean, where, where does one start with that, that process of being resilient? 

Adam Markel: [00:06:49] Well, I think if, no, it's such a great question Vit because it, resilience is, in some ways we have to start about.

[00:06:57] Saying what it's not, I think it's an easy place for us to begin. And then let's talk about what it actually is. So what it's not is, is endurance. Resilience, isn't about how you endure. So this is not about, you know, the Rocky Balboa mode of being where, you know, if you can remember from the Rocky, I think there's eight Rocky movies that Sylvester Stallone has made.

[00:07:18] But for me, the most impactful was the first one, probably because I was a little kid and I saw that movie with my dad. And I remember being in the theater and seeing, you know, this larger than life, character who's in the, in the ring. And for folks that have never seen it, you got to see the original 1976 version of Rocky.

[00:07:37] Right. So Rocky gets knocked down and he. Of course gets back up, right. That he gets knocked down. He gets back up, he gets knocked down. He gets back up, he gets knocked down. I don't know, dozens of times in that movie, you know, and every single time the guy gets back up. And so what ends up happening is he wins our hearts and we love him as a character.

[00:07:58] He wins our hearts. But he loses the fight. Right. And, and I'm originally from the East coast of the United States, New York. And, and as, as my, uh, brethren from that area would probably say at the end, the Rocky, he don't look too good. Right. He don't, he it's all banged up and he loses and he loses the fight.

[00:08:21] And our research is really clear when it comes to resilience . Resilience is not about endurance. It's not purely physical. It's mental, it's emotional, it's even spiritual. It's not about how we are enduring. It's about how we recover that the re the, the, the, uh, Information that we've been able to gather is clear that recovery rituals, th the, the development of our recovery rituals is really key to developing our resilience.

[00:08:53] So, first of all, it's not about endurance. It's about recovery. It's not about bouncing back as so many people think resilience is all about bouncing back. It's really about bouncing forward. That's why to me, it's so tangible for everybody at this place in their life, wherever people are personally or professionally.

[00:09:13] Developing a resilience now is so key, not just because it will help you to bounce forward from the current situation, which has created great change across the globe, but it will help you to bounce forward in the future when disruption comes again, because one thing we know for certain, this is not the last time that our world or our markets will be disrupted.

[00:09:35] It may not be this virus again, it will be something else. But rest assured it will be, it will be something. And regardless, I mean, this is the first time we've seen it sort of on a, on a macro scale, that one single event took out the entire world. We may never see that again. We may, we may never, but we know for sure that in our personal lives, we have things taking us out all the time.

[00:09:59] Every every year, like clockwork, it's going to be something. It might be the death of someone in your life. It might be a, be a business idea that doesn't work that you have to pivot. Right. My first book was called pivot and it's. It's the case that you may well have to pivot in your life for pivot in your business in some way.

[00:10:18] And all of those things you have to develop resilience for. So what I, I, I would say is that right now, there are three ways that everybody can increase their level of resilience. And

 Find out what your resilience score is 

[00:10:30] I think as a starting point, we have to have a baseline. We have to have a benchmark. No benchmarking is so important. I've been a CEO for many, many years.

[00:10:38] I was a lawyer for 18 years as well. We've got to know where we're starting from. So for the people who are watching, listening to this right now, you can go to a simple, a website to a URL to get. Uh, a read on where you're at to get your rank, uh, resilience wise. If you will, you can go to,

[00:11:04] and in three minutes, that's the beauty of it. This assessment will basically let you know what your score is, what your rank is in those four key areas of resilience, the physical area of course, we understand that. There's a physical element to it, but mentally, emotionally, and spiritually as well. So that will help to establish what's the benchmark what's that, that starting point or I should say the baseline.

[00:11:28] And then from there we built and the three things that we build are the three things that you can see on the screen right now, we've got to develop these themes of resilience, the theme of reframing, the theme of resetting and the theme of regenerating. And we can choose to dive into any one or all of these things during, during our interview.

[00:11:48] It's you know, whatever you think is going to serve the audience best. 

Vit Muller: [00:11:51] Right? So few things I want to add. So the firstly the assessment, the online assessment is the online assessment is an excellent tool. Definitely. I've done it. I'm just trying to look up my stats, but I'll see if I can, 

Adam Markel: [00:12:05] did you get your score? I love it. 

Vit Muller: [00:12:06] Yeah. I got my score. Yeah, absolutely. I'm just see if I can find it, but I'll get to that in a second. The other thing, just to reiterate in my own understanding. So the way you explained the resilience is not about the, uh, status quo or that stereotypical notion that you always have to be a tough to endure.

[00:12:25] And if you're gone and you're, that means you're not resilient. It's not about that. It's about being able to recover when, when the, you know, when there's roadblocks, when there's obstacles from there's challenges and when you not. You may, or you may not overcome them. It's not about that. It's about being able to recover from it and learn from it and then come back again, stronger.

Adam Markel: [00:12:50] Right. Bounce forward. 

Vit Muller: [00:12:51] Bounce forward. 

Adam Markel: [00:12:52] Yes. So creating momentum out of adversity, we have a, we have a book that's as you said is in pre-order now, but when this show launches, it'll probably be that the book has what has already officially launched the, I love my life challenge, which is a workbook to 28 day workbook.

[00:13:09] That's focusing on one area of resilience, which is how we, how we feel about ourselves. You know, the route. The root of, of everything is, is love. And the either, either the love that we give ourselves or the love that we withhold from ourselves. So that's, that's a book that's really important right now in the world that we're living in.

[00:13:29] But we have another book coming out later in the year called 'Change proof, leveraging the power of uncertainty to build longterm success'. And that book is focused more from a business perspective on how it is that we do actually leverage. Uncertainty because we're living, we're living in great times of great uncertainty, but, but ultimately all of these things are intended for us to move forward.

[00:13:54] Like that's the only purpose is that we're able to move forward because the past doesn't exist. It's dead, but yet, so many people live somewhat in the past. And by that, I mean, they live with the thoughts of the past, the re the regrets of the past, the resentments of the past. And, and they carry it with them.

[00:14:17] They carry the weight of those things. So th there's no question that, uh, resilience is something that you're not just building to be able to stand back up like Rocky. It's so that you can move forward. 

Vit Muller: [00:14:31] Absolutely. Can I ask you a personal question? 

Adam Markel: [00:14:34] Absolutely. 

Vit Muller: [00:14:35] In your life, have you ever had a time where you were you know, living in the past and how did you go through that?

Adam talks about his mid lifecalling and anxiety attack that kicked of his big career transition from being a lawyer 

 Adam Markel: [00:14:44] Yeah, that I got to tell you Vit, I, when I was a lawyer and I was unhappy, I used to, I used to wake up in the morning and I'm not sure if you can relate to this or not. But I used to put my feet on the floor and feel sense of, uh, something was wrong. Something was off. I would sometimes even feel anxiety at the beginning of the day.

[00:15:09] And, and even if I'm being honest, dread this sense of something dreadful, you know, sort of in the future for me And it was a really, it was a really rough way to begin the day. And I, I was ignoring and I would say that what would play out for me at times was looking back to a time in my life when I wasn't, when I didn't feel that way.

[00:15:34] Looking back and thinking about my life before, when I was in college or when somehow I didn't have as many responsibilities or when I still had all my full head of hair, you know? So it was looking back a lot of the time looking in my rear view mirror, and it would only contribute to that, that sense of anxiety.

[00:15:55] It would only fuel my anxiety, which fuel my sense of, of, of something is off in. It, it wasn't a culmination, let's say a culminating event, but it was a, uh, uh, like a climactic event. I'll say that I ended up in the hospital on a Saturday when I was supposed to be at our son's baseball game. And instead I was in the hospital on a gurney in the emergency room with electrodes stuck to my chest thinking I was never going to see my kids again.

Vit Muller: [00:16:30] How old were you? 

Adam Markel: [00:16:31] I was probably 40 years old and I thought I was dying. I thought I was having a heart attack. My heart was pounding so hard. It felt like it was beating on the outside of my chest and I was sweating profusely. And and my wife had a look in her eye, like, you know, something's really, really wrong here.

[00:16:51] And, and the good news is I didn't have a heart attack that day. I wasn't having a cardiac arrest. I was having, according to the doctor, an anxiety attack. That was brought on by a lot of too much, too much thinking about the past anxiousness and anxiety, uh, producing, uh, or thoughts that produced anxiety and too much coffee, caffeine, not sleeping well.

[00:17:19]All culminating in me having this, this, uh, this sort of moment where. It became so crystal clear that something had to change. And so that was, that was a catalytic moment for me. I realized that day that I needed to pivot that and it call it that I left the hospital feeling very grateful. My wife and I both very relieved that, that what it was, was what it was, and it wasn't worse, frankly.

[00:17:49]And it wasn't too long after that, that. I sort of realized that that. A bigger, a bigger shift and change was, was required. 

[00:18:00] The good news was that I didn't have to have a midlife crisis at that time in my life. It, it felt like that's where I was going. Like that was the path I was headed on, you know, quit my job.

[00:18:10] I own my own law firm, but to sort of close down close shop I don't know, move to Fiji or, or some other beautiful place in the world. And. And start over or just do something different. And that was too extreme for me. I, I, I'm never been a jump ship guy. That's never been part of my makeup. I'm much more conservative, but yet I wasn't willing to tolerate any longer that mediocrity, that way of living and feeling afraid all the time or just so like, you know, right at the, at the surface was that anxiety.

[00:18:46] I could feel it or touch it. You know, pretty much any time of the day. So instead of having a midlife crisis, we just planned created a midlife calling. Uh, instead 

Vit Muller: [00:18:58] I wonder somebody might be listening. You are 40 by then. So that was most of your career. You were a lawyer, 

Adam Markel: [00:19:05] 18 years, 

Vit Muller: [00:19:06] 18 years. And you entered into that carrier with a passion for law.

Adam Markel: [00:19:12] I was a lawyer, uh, not so much by passion, uh, as, as it was by, uh, I made it, I made a conscious choice that I wanted to get my money situation hand. 

Vit Muller: [00:19:27] All right. So it's purely monetary kind of a driven career choice because 

Adam Markel: [00:19:32] as it turned out, it was a good career choice for me, for, for the period that I was.

[00:19:37] For a large part of the time, because I love counseling. I love helping people. And part of my work to this day is, as you said, in the introduction, working as an executive mentor for leaders who are either running their own organizations or those running others. And I love that part of my lawyering life was that I counsel people.

[00:19:58] Uh, but I also fought, I was a professional gladiator, a courtroom attorney and, and So much of what I spent my day doing was being angry and using my anger because I was angry. I was angry because my life wasn't didn't feel the way I wanted it to feel. I mean, I was, so it was so ridiculous on some level.

[00:20:19]I was married to my college sweetheart to this day, my love of my life. And we have four healthy kids. Plenty of money. And yet I was waking up in the morning feeling like crap and getting through the day on coffee and angry really quick to anger. You know, those are one of the symptoms. Yeah. 

Don't live in the past when you're trying to move foward

 Vit Muller: [00:20:39] Yeah. So it seems like. There were aspects that you were passionate about, the counseling stuff. I'm just trying to, you know, I'm, I'm asking you these questions because I'm trying to see if there is an advice that we come out of it for somebody else when it comes to career choice, because you know, it'd be ideal if people wouldn't have to go through all that, like you did to then realize that the age of 40, that it wasn't their calling.

[00:21:00] Right. 

Adam Markel: [00:21:02] Well, you know, it's interesting, you should say that because on some level. You know, the book pivot was, is a book about how you construct a life calling on S on some level it's, it's, it's a book that helps people to put the steps in place to evaluate where they are in their life at the moment, and whether they need to pivot or want to pivot, I'd say, cause nobody needs to do anything.

[00:21:27] Need. Need is a scarcity word in many ways. This is about consciously choosing. Something that you want. I wanted to make a change. So ultimately I was able to do that over the course of about two and a half years, and then leave the law closed down. My law practice have another business up and running and earning money is almost as much as my legal career was paying me.

[00:21:50]But it took, it took time and a methodical approach. So. People who are wherever they are at the moment. It's not about the past. Again, it's not about, let's say how much time you've spent doing something you don't love right now. Or you are passionate about something a while ago, but you're no longer passionate about it or are you passionate about it, but you don't know how to, you know, make any money out of it.

[00:22:13] If you realize that it's time to pivot, make a change, you can start from where you are and build slowly or not so slowly the way I did , so that you're constantly moving in the future. You're constantly moving forward toward what you want. We're not stuck even for a minute, thinking about what I wasted already, how much time?

[00:22:35] Yeah. I spent 18 years in the law, but I, I. Did really well in that arena, I developed skills. I develop what some times it's called, like the, the, uh, career capital or the crafts, you know, craftsman skills in areas that I still use to this day. I used to with, with my clients, I use it in running my own business.

[00:22:55] So I don't, I didn't waste 18 years, but for sure, I think a lot of people, they think that they've got so much time that in something. Or money even invested in something. So they call it like the sunk cost and that's a fallacy I write, but that's in the book as well. We talk about that sunk cost fallacy.

[00:23:16] We think it's too late for me to make a change. I've got too much at risk, 

Vit Muller: [00:23:21] too much. They've they've invested too much and they kept building and every time they build onto it, it gets harder to, yeah, I see what you mean. 

Adam Markel: [00:23:29] Yeah. And that keeps you, that keeps you again, you're, you're stuck. And in many ways it's about looking backward because you're looking back and going.

[00:23:38] The reason I can't change today, the reason I can't pivot even a one little small step, which is really the heart of the pivot process, which we can, we can talk about in a minute as well. But the reason that they won't make that change is because they look in the past and go, I can't give that up. What, what if, what if I do something now that that makes what I've done already irrelevant and, and I'll lose that.

[00:24:04] I'll lose. I've lost the time I've lost the money. I've lost the investment. So they're there, they're moving forward, carrying the weight of their past. Decisions and investments and everything else. And it's ridiculous. You've just got this one shot as far as we know. I mean, I believe we're eternal beings, but you know, let's just say in this one body suit we're wearing, you get this one shot, 

Vit Muller: [00:24:30] you notice in the next life, you might just be a, a fly, you know, 

Adam Markel: [00:24:34] who knows?

[00:24:34] Right. We certainly don't know. So what we do know is this is ours. This is our shot. Right? You don't want to waste your shot. 

What other people think of you is none of your business 

Vit Muller: [00:24:43] Yeah. I think it might be also because too many people are thinking too much about other people, other people think of the environment, you know, if, if they, if they're considering, okay, well, how do I quit?

[00:24:54] I've been in doing, doing this gig for 20 years, trying to build these things for 20 years, not seeing success, but I've also invested so much effort and time. And it feels like a failure if I, if I leave now. So maybe, maybe, maybe isn't maybe because of the environment, like they, they think too much about others.

Adam Markel: [00:25:12] Well again, it's, you know, what other people think of you is, is really none of your business. I wish I was the one that wrote that line. I believe that was Eleanor Roosevelt so long, long ago. But it's such a powerful statement. Now, what other people think of you is none of your business. And yet we live our lives in so many ways, operating from a place of pleasing.

[00:25:40] Whether it's to please our spouse or please our parents, or please our friends, or please the friends, quote, unquote, friends on Facebook or something ludicrous like that. And yet we, we live in that place often of, of pleasing. And that's just none of our business. That's not our proper business. And, and if you could just re capture.

[00:26:06] The energy that it goes, that goes into pleasing other people and harness and direct that energy toward moving forward in the direction of things that you want out of life,

[00:26:17]a guarantee you get, you get some additional results. 

What if you decided to love your life? No matter what Vit Muller: [00:26:21] Part of the problem could be also that they don't love themselves enough. That's why they're trying to please others. 

Adam Markel: [00:26:29] And that's, you know, in part the reason why, so you mentioned again, in, in, in the introduction that I gave a Ted talk that went viral and that Ted talk is about what you're, you're talking about now.

[00:26:42] So for me, I don't, I don't think that I, I did love myself unconditionally at, at, for so many years of my life was really about making, making other people happy, pleasing other people, uh, just not feeling even deserving or worthy in some, in some ways. And so ultimately it became a Ted talk and, and then later we decided that this through-line.

[00:27:12] The central idea of this Ted talk was the question. What if you decided to love your life? No matter what, like what have you just decided right now? I'm going to love my life no matter what. And what's interesting about that is that it, it is not a, a resignation or, uh, an acceptance. Let's say. Of the status quo.

[00:27:40] It is not giving up on the idea or the goal to improve. It's accepting yourself as you are in this moment, so that you can use that as a foundation to build from. Because if we're not, if that's not the foundation of acceptance of ourselves, if love of ourselves is not the foundation that we build upon, we're building on sand, we're building on things that aren't sustainable.

Vit Muller: [00:28:11] Right. And then how can you be good for others? How can you be there out right. Role model, the father or boss for others, the team, if you, if you not if you don't value yourself, right? This is, so this is so important. 

Adam Markel: [00:28:23] So important. So fundamental foundational and, and that's why the, the, I love my life challenge workbook was something we said, you know, we have, we have some ideas around that and figured 28 days is a good, you know, good length of time for people to commit to something.

[00:28:41] That they can test out and try for themselves and it's workbook. So it's work, you know, you doing it less about me sort of pontificating about things. Even though I share some thoughts and theory in the book, but it's more about a person actually trying this stuff on for themselves to see what it's like.

[00:28:58] And I had a call this morning with, with someone who's The wife of, of a, of a friend of mine, a dear new friend collaborator, we're working on some projects together. And, and she and I were just chatting about, because she's in the actress, in the acting space and in the United States and probably throughout the world, the arts have really taken a massive hit, you know, anybody in the arts right now.

[00:29:20] It's like, you know, They're they're really struggling. You know, most of those projects were shut down and that kind of thing. So she's had a challenging time with it because she, she wants to love her life, but there are parts about her life that she doesn't, that she's not in love with. Right. We're not happy about.

[00:29:40] And so the question is, can you acknowledge that there are places in your life you want to improve? There are things in your life that you're not satisfied with. And yet still love your life no matter what is that possible? And you, you know, when you say it like that, the question is the obvious answer is of course, of course it is.

[00:30:00] And she's a parent. So I was using her kid. Her relationship with her child is an example of that. I said, so if your eight year old son comes home with something he made at school, And you can imagine it. Cause we've all been kids. I mean, not everybody's a parent right now, but we all, we all were born and we all have parents.

[00:30:17] So we were all at some time a child. And you can imagine that child coming home with sculpture, let's say, you know, something they made out of clay. I mean, as a parent, do you, do you love what that child produced? W with right VIT without question. Without question. And, and if you took a look at your kids, clump of clay, right?

[00:30:40] Right. Would you love it any less because some other kids clump, a clay look better than your kids? No, not in a million years, man. Not in a million years. She just wouldn't. Does it mean that the clump of clay couldn't be better that he, you know, he or she could do, uh, do, uh, you know, work work. In a better way to create something that might look better or be more functional, of course there's room for improvement, but without a doubt, you, you love it just the way it is and you can love it the way it is, and still understand that a year from now, if that kid practices working the wheel, that the clay will be molded in a different, in a different way.

[00:31:24] And it could look entirely different and maybe even be something, you know, That much more beautiful than, than even what they produced originally. And that's the way it is with our lives. Are there things about our clump of clay that we call our life that we don't necessarily think are so gorgeous, beautiful, effective, whatever.

[00:31:45] Yeah. They've got a lot of imperfections. There's a lot of imperfections in our, in, in, in the clay of our lives. Right. But we don't look at ourselves and that clay, the way we'd look at our kid or look at some, you know, look at a child's creation with nothing but love and acceptance. We look at our clay and go, that sucks, you know?

Vit Muller: [00:32:08] Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Cause I mean, how else are they supposed to improve if they don't see some sort of, some form of recognition or, or approval right. If they don't get any, any, any love from their parents, how they supposed to, uh, grow as a person. Right. It's very difficult. I think this is so important message.

[00:32:31] Very, very important message that we're talking about here. Relevant, whether it's. Parent kids whatever, or your, you know, young teenager going through some tough time at school or, or, you know, some, some stupid messages on social media from classmates about you or, you know, whatever it be. You're good enough.

[00:32:53] That's the key message here. I love it. 

Take the I love my life Challenge 

[00:32:56] And the book The workbook. Uh, I love my life workbook. I know at the time we're recording is now, you know, 19 December. This is going into production, uh, in, sorry, this is going to be available in 

Adam Markel: [00:33:11] when. It's the beginning of January, but you, you know, for folks that may be hearing this after, after January, you can go to the, I love my life

[00:33:21] If you go to, I love my life You can find out more about the availability of the book wherever you live, as well as there's some bonuses and things that go along with the book. But yeah, it's I'll read it to the subtitle too, which is pretty cool. The art and science of reconnecting with your life, a breakthrough guide to spark joy, innovation, and growth.

[00:33:39] So it's a book that's not just personal development. It really is. In many ways, a book that's intended for teams and for business as well because uh, my perspective in writing this book was who I was as a burned out CEO, as a burned out entrepreneur and. Being being burned out is not conducive to loving your life and loving your life is conducive to developing resilience.

[00:34:08] And that's why to me, you know, if we're creating what's that foundational level that we would want all to be, to be building from and building on it's that place that you said earlier Vit about accepting yourself . About loving loving, even loving yourself. And I know a lot of people listen to this, that there be like, you know, when my parents, they never gave me that kind of praise.

[00:34:31] I'm not saying everybody's thinking this, but a number of people for sure. Thinking, you know, my parents never said a good word to me, or I remember that time. I brought home that piece of clay Adams talking about it. And my, my, you know, somebody said, that's. Crap, you know, throw that out or they didn't say a word, you know, just completely ignored it.

[00:34:48] So I get it. You know, we all have these different, these different histories and, and so much of how we feel about ourselves and whether we truly do accept ourselves. Love, even love ourselves is developed between the time we're born and eight years old. Uh, won't get, get into a whole lot of psychology here, but when I work with people, It's interesting.

[00:35:10] We often go back there we go back there to develop one single, like I go back to retrieve, you know, earlier I said, we don't live in the past. We have to move forward. Everything is about moving forward, but we can gain wisdom. From a sort of a clinical or a scientific examination of certain things in our past to look for, for the, the clues, if you will that help us to move forward.

[00:35:35] And, and one of those cruises, what did we learn about, about the meaning of love when we were too young to be able to define it for ourselves? Cause that's when it ingrains in us, it. It becomes a part of our, uh, way of being when we're six years old and we see something, we hear something. So for me to be quite, uh, transparent about this, when I was about six, seven, eight years old, my parents were fighting all the time and some of the, some of those fights were, were, were nearly violent.

[00:36:11]And and I. I just, I learned a lot about love that wasn't accurate at that time. And it defined love for me in a certain way. I mean, there was a lot of fear and insecurity around what love meant for me, at least learning it. Then it took it forward into my adult life until I was able to re-examine it.

[00:36:33] And I think with all of us know, we have to go back to the, what I like to refer to as the first domino. And to find the first domino for so many things, you want to know why your business isn't doing as well as it could be doing. We've got to find the first domino, why your sales team might not be performing as well.

[00:36:48] It's the first domino. You want to understand why you're not happy or, or your relationships haven't worked out or why you are physically not healthy. We've got to find the, for every case is whatever the challenge is. We've got to look for the first domino and that's the thing we got to go back to find examine, and then decide what we.

[00:37:08] Do in that instance. So like with love, it's simple. The first domino is your definition of it from the time you were little, and then we get the chance to redefine it. With, with new information and new awareness, we can redefine it. That's why what's great about life is doesn't matter what your age people think, you know, I'm 60, it's too late for me.

[00:37:30] I'm 70. We have clients. So part of our work in the world today is that, as I said, I work, I work with individuals and business. Our team, our company more love media works with individuals and with teams and organizations to help them communicate more effectively. So whether it's to learn how to develop speaking skills or get on a Ted stage or things of that sort it's it's really important that we become.

[00:37:58] You know, more, more effective communicators. And, uh, and, and this idea of finding, finding that, that one, domino that first domino and going back and reframing it, learning it, uh, a new learning or making that change. Now that would change the results going forward is really doable. We get people who are 60 years old.

[00:38:22] I mean, I have somebody who's. Studying with us right now to develop a Ted talk in 2021. And she's in her seventies, she went back to get her PhD in her mid fifties. She became a doctor in her sixties. She's a psych psychoanalyst. I mean, and right now I think we we've got three people from great Britain that are working with us.

[00:38:42] They're all in their sixties as well, working on their either their keynote or their Ted talks. He go so. There's no age at which it's not possible to make that change, make that pivot toward something that is is important. And I, I want to, I just want to say that only because, you know, I think a lot of people, they kind of say, well, Jesus, I just knew this 20 years ago, you know, be so much better for me.

[00:39:12] And I'm not saying that isn't true, but those 20 years, that you're, that you're sort of looking at as, as maybe you wish it would be, would've been different. Those 20 years are vital. They're absolutely vital to putting you in the position that you're in right now to be able to move from this place.

[00:39:30] Because again, if the perspective is. I wish the 20 years hadn't been what they are. And now I'm kinda a little bit hooped and in a bad spot because I screwed some things up then, or, you know, I, I messed up my opportunities to earn more money or to save more money or grow my money or any of it. It stops you now from building right here, from the position you're in, because we'll S we'll sort of snap our fingers, blink our eyes.

[00:40:00] It'll be 20 years again. 

Vit Muller: [00:40:02] Absolutely. 

Adam Markel: [00:40:03] Absolutely. That's not motivational. I'm not looking to motivate anybody. It's just the reality. 

Vit Muller: [00:40:08] No, absolutely. And it's not, it's not to, you know, stop, stop looking at it as a failure. It's not a failure. It's all experiences in your life I really like a quote from a Nancy that was on the episode last time she she was sharing a story, how she you know, she lost everything and during the market crash and you know, she's got young baby and she had to start from ground up and was trying to get Figure out this whole online marketing game as a, as a, as a, as a means to, you know, build some revenue streams.

[00:40:35] And she said, the thing she said, you know, you either win or you lose. It's what a lot of people say, but I started to save myself while the I either win or I learn, I really liked that. So same, same what you you're saying. And the other thing I wanted to point out, uh, is, to what you were saying is just lost my train of thought.

[00:40:59]If you’re.

Where do you start to find that first domino? [00:41:02] This whole thing about finding love and the domino and going through that first domino in your childhood, it can be easier to be said than done, right? Because if it's say you're 50 now, you're trying to pinpoint that moment when you were five-year-old six-year-old, whatever happened when you were in your in childhood can be very difficult, right?

[00:41:22] What are some of the tools would you recommend maybe psychologists hypnosis or. 

Adam Markel: [00:41:30] Well,I have a great book recommendation. For one thing it, Michael Brown is from South Africa. He wrote a book called the Presence Process. I probably have referred or referred to this book several hundred times and I hope Michael is somewhere in the world in, in just.

[00:41:46] You know, his, his life is, is good. And his book sells all the time. Because he did something magical and really transformational in the, in writing this book. And the book in many ways is a guide to going back to that moment in time that we were talking about and being able to then pinpoint what it was you learned and then how it is that you integrate that experience.

[00:42:14] Now. So that you can move forward and redefine for yourself. The most important thing that we, that we define in our lives, which is what love means. I mean, again, I work with people who are doctors and engineers and a lot of left brain people. I was a lawyer for 18 years, so I'm a little bit left brain to not just the right brain stuff, you know, the good self-help we stuff or whatever.

[00:42:43]So, so I can say that it's It doesn't matter whether you're a very sort of mushy gushy heart-centered person or you're more of a intellectual, uh, you know, Headspace person. The most important thing we define for ourselves in our lives is love. You will not build anything lasting, fulfilling, worthwhile in this world without love, you just won't. It will never, never be what you wanted it to be, what you expect it to be, what it could be. If it's not, if it's not based, if it's not rooted in love. So, you know, with, with a lot of people in leadership roles there, they sometimes are, are not equipped to be great leaders because they themselves are leading from a place that doesn't really, uh, that, that draws on a faulty definition of love as an example. So even when I'm working with a CEO, I still want to explore this with them because their leadership is a reflection of how they, how they either love or don't love themselves or how they define love, because you can define love based on your personal history as a.

[00:44:04] You can define it as anger. You can define it as abuse. You can define it as so many things. It's an odd, I mean, that's why, when you hear about like some people that were abused as children who become abusers as adults of their kids, even though they know it's not right to abuse a child, they still abuse because it's, it's actually how they define what love feels like.

[00:44:23] That's the definition they got ironically, not ironically tragically as a child having been abused. We don't know any better. Vit, when we're eight years old, six years old, five, four, whatever. We don't know any better like we couldn't possibly know any better. Our cognitive abilities have any yet developed.

[00:44:46] It's a really important thing that we are able to explore this stuff. And, and yeah, you know, you said, what do you do? Do you go to a psychologist? Yeah, absolutely. If you, you feel like a therapist is a good place to go. I highly recommend that. I love the book by Michael Brown.

[00:45:01]And, and I also feel like you know, anybody listening or watching this right now can, can think in terms of go back to a time when you were very young, And if it could be somewhere before you're eight years old or thereabouts, and think of something that happened in your house or something where you could say, so that was an important event in my life.

[00:45:29] Maybe even that was something that I felt a little traumatized by. Like, if your parents get divorced or, you know, any number of other things can happen, uh, You just learn something in that moment. And it's probably a first step to go back and think about what those things are, track them down, write them down.

[00:45:53]And then not judge them, not, you know, say, Oh, this is why I'm the way I am, or I'm so messed up because you know, my parents didn't pay any attention to me. They just like gave me, you know, the key and said here have at it or whatever. If you can be neutral about it for the moment so that you can just sort of dig it out the dirt, so to speak without because we resist.

[00:46:18] And a lot of times we suppress things because they're painful. And so our mind and our, you know, our way of, uh, surviving kind of keep those things hidden. Sometimes we just don't want to go back and explore it. And so it takes courage to sort of dig up some of that old baggage or old memories. And if you, if you're able to kind of bring it up to the surface and you can just sit with it, even meaning, be aware of it without judging it and accept it.

[00:46:47] You, you started that, that becomes your new first domino, because if you can look at stuff in your life, that's been really hard and even traumatic. And, and I'll say, this is from my standpoint, you know, everybody has to have this experience themselves, but if you, when I can look at things in my past and look at them and accept them, I am, I am relearning.

[00:47:16] I am reteaching myself. What love really is. Love is about unconditional acceptance. So if I can accept those things, I'm I'm now learning to love differently. And as you said it before, what we learn, you know, what we possess ourselves as the F is what we get to give to others. We can't give something we don't possess.

Vit Muller: [00:47:47] Absolutely so important. And you talk about example of in leadership. Today to be a good leader. I, from what I understand, and from all the interviews I've done with people who cover this topic, thoughtful leadership is what is really emerging as a, as a, as a new thing, very important one to be thoughtful to the other people in the organization to be empathetic and, and all those aspects.

[00:48:14]So it just makes perfect sense that you first dig out your own shit. If we can go call it, all that stuff from back in the days, dig it out, find that domino clear it out so that you can start to love yourself and only then you can be more thoughtful and, and and, uh, and, and improve your what's the word?

[00:48:35]Emotional uh, sorry, the. 

Adam Markel: [00:48:40] Yeah, you are. Yeah. The emotional quotient, right? Or what people call emotional intelligence. 

Vit Muller: [00:48:46] That's right. Yeah, because I mean, if you lead people, you gotta, you gotta have that skill. So otherwise you're just dictator or technical and people will not connect with you as much as they would otherwise .

Don't tear down the first bridge until you've got the second one built. [00:49:00] Moving from that. So we've covered so much right now for this last section of the podcast, I just wanted to continue on, on your career story. So 40 years you've, you've had that, let's call it awakening. You moved on and you've started into you started in your business. What was that?

Adam Markel: [00:49:24] Well, I, I was, uh, I was in a period of transition. So I went from being a lawyer. 

Vit Muller: [00:49:32] Sorry. Yeah. So that was the transition to, yep. 

Adam Markel: [00:49:34] Yeah, no, no, no, it was, it's interesting because for me, I've had several transitions, but yeah, I spent a good bit of time in the legal profession. And then when I realized that. I really was selling myself short and didn't want to continue to do that.

[00:49:51] We created a plan and ultimately several years, two years, two and a half years later I was able to move out of one thing and into another end. And the reason why I think this is important that I share this is that I didn't tear down the first bridge, if you will. While I wanted to my wife and I, we have a house in, on this little Island off the coast of Cape Cod, Massachusetts.

[00:50:18] And we were right around this time when I was. Not not knowing really how, how I was going to continue to do what I no longer love doing. I remember we were driving over a body of water on this Island and there was a bridge, like a Drawbridge. So boats could go underneath it and they were doing some construction on the side of the road.

[00:50:40] So we pulled over and we asked what was going on. And they said, yeah, this bridge has been here for like a hundred years and it doesn't. Look like it could survive another big storm. So they're going to build another bridge. And what they do is they built the second bridge. And then when the second bridge was built, they tore down the first one, which was the perfect example of pivoting in my world.

[00:51:04] You don't tear down the first bridge until you've got the second one built. And it was funny because years later we saw they were building again and we stopped and asked yet again, what's going on? And they said, well, the bridge we built to replace the old bridge was the temporary bridge, not the permanent bridge.

[00:51:22] So, you know, this is a great, a great story for, uh, you know, construction projects, you know, like municipal projects. They, God knows how much money they spent and all that kind of thing to build two more bridges. But, but it's a perfect pivot story as well. Because your pivots are not necessarily permanent.

[00:51:42] Don't don't think you're going to pivot one somehow and you know, you never have to pivot again. I just, that's not my experience. And the other lesson being that you don't necessarily tear down the bridge you've got until you've got another one built. My, my world is. You got to fund your pivot fund F U N D.

[00:52:00] You got to pay for it. Like you would invest in learning, like you said, learning new marketing techniques, learning digital marketing, learning how to speak better. If that's something you're interested in, whatever it is that you want to do, you've got to invest time, energy, and money in it. So if you're struggling for money, if, if what you want is to transition at a one thing and into another thing immediately, and have it paying for your life.

[00:52:27] It's not a, it's not a good recipe that you set yourself up for a really tough do versus you work on the second, this other thing, while you maintain a source of income, so you can continue to fund the research and development of your pivot and then boom, sometime later you go, Holy smokes. I don't need to maintain that first thing.

[00:52:50] First thing anymore. I can let that go I can sell it. 

Vit Muller: [00:52:55] It's very hard when you, if you jump the ship and you've got no safety net, it's, it's, it's very difficult.

[00:53:05] And when there's no money coming in, then you gonna get into a stress mode. And when you're stressed, your IQ goes down and it's just a roll off effect. You just, everything just crashes on you. So 

Adam Markel: [00:53:17] you're driven by fear and fear doesn't never works in our favor when it comes to money. Or business or lots of things.

Vit Muller: [00:53:26] Absolutely. So just to wrap it up, so then you moved on, so you had a transition, you build that second bridge and. And then you started the personal development organization that as a result, I got the chance to meet you back in Sydney 2016, 15. 

Adam Markel: [00:53:43] Yeah. So my transition, so just real quick on this one, when I was pivoting out of law and wanted to help other people.

[00:53:52] Reinvent their lives, reinvent their careers, things like that. I didn't, I didn't have any body of work at that point. I was just doing it myself, getting good results, wanting to share it with other people. So I didn't have a body of work. So my transition, if you will, my temporary bridge in the, in the story that I was sharing, my temporary bridge was to work for a company that had content that they had developed an intellectual property they had created.

[00:54:20] And I was teaching. Those things. Eventually I ended up becoming the CEO of that company, which gave me other responsibilities, but it also gave me other freedoms. And one of those freedoms was to start to develop my own content. And when you and I met in Australia, that was something of, it was a program that I had developed and we brought it to Australia to, to deliver it.

[00:54:44] And not so much tested. We had done it in the United States and gotten good results, but you know, we'd never done it in Australia. And so that was the temporary bridge. 

[00:54:52] My, my longer-term bridge was when I decided that I wanted to start my own company, develop my own intellectual property and my own content, and really established my own voice as opposed to sort of borrowing a Bullhorn from someone else and from their company.

[00:55:10]I wanted to develop my own and the universe had a wonderful way of helping me to do that. And that became that. That other bridge that's we won't call a permanent bridge because that would be, you know, I think it's just defies reason, uh, to call anything permanent. It's, uh, it's perfect for us right now and we love it.

[00:55:31] Yeah. 

What was that journey like for Adam to become a public speaker 

 Vit Muller: [00:55:32] And so one of those vehicles through our process, The delivery of the content was public speaking. Tell us, tell, tell us a little bit about that, that experience of becoming a public speaker. I assume, you know, you, you already had some confidence as a lawyer and I was, you kind of, it's in a way it's public speaking too, sir, but it's different, right?

[00:55:53] Because you're on stage and it's slightly different, well, different content and different, different means. So what, what goes. W w what was that journey like for you to become a public speaker? 

Adam Markel: [00:56:08] Well, I love this question because I am, I'm an introvert. And a lot of people who speak publicly are actually introverts.

[00:56:18] I think other folks kind of look at, at people on stages. Cause I, I did a lot of events with Tony Robbins and other people and you know, large groups. So I speak to 10, 12 thousand people at a time and you think the person who's doing that it's gregarious, they're an extrovert. All that I am not. And a lot of people I know are not, which really means that for me, when I want to recharge my battery, I recharge in small group or alone.

[00:56:47] And that's how I, I recharged my brother. I have a younger brother and for him, he's an extrovert. So when he wants to recharge, he's wants to be around a lot of people. You know, big party, big concert, whatever, like more people, more energy fills him up for me, not the same. I can do that and be like, I'm a situational extrovert.

[00:57:11] So, uh, so part of my transition into public speaking was dealing with the fact that I don't really, that's not where I choose to be on sort of for myself. But what I found was that, because what I was saying was important to others and why, and it felt so good to see how other people's lives could actually even change a fraction because of something that I shared that I realized it was a calling and when you are fate, when you, when somebody is a calling, you get, you get that, like you get over yourself, you get over your insecurity, you get over your shyness, you get over your fear because it's small, it's tiny in comparison to the, the, the, the, the opportunity that exists and for me, I got, I got over it when I realized it wasn't about me. That was a sort of the first lesson I learned in public speaking was it's not about me. And from there I had training and mentorship. And the good news after having spoken publicly, probably seven or 800 times at this point to a lot of people, is that we developed an understanding of how to create impactful and effective.

[00:58:28] Talks communication and those principles and that, uh, philosophy, which is, is mine and ours, our team that's something we get to share with people now. All over the world, which is great. And we do it virtually, which is amazing. So, whereas it used to have to have a hotel in a big venue or a arena or something and speak to all these people live.

[00:58:53] And in person now I get to do it virtually and have groups that are smaller, even because it's so easy. I don't have to leave my home to do it. Team, which is all over the country, all over the North America. We all come together online, you know, on, on a, on a zoom, for example we can serve people from all over the world.

[00:59:14] So as opposed to, everybody's gotta be in Sydney for the same event. I we've got people now coming in from Sydney and from great Britain and from Vancouver and from Denver and altogether. And the opportunity to both, uh, reach people in a, in a more efficient way and in a more effective way is, is.

[00:59:39] Breathtaking. Cause I never thought that that would even could be the case. 

Vit Muller: [00:59:43] Could it work right? Could it be the same, have, have the same effect? 

Adam Markel: [00:59:47] How could it possibly work? Is the question I asked? How could it ever work because you and I were in an event together. So you know how much that energy means and what it's like to be in other people's presence to be able to hug and high five or cry or whatever, you know, the process is for everybody and getting, getting through you know, the content and And I never would have expected that we could have the kind of breakthroughs that we get the way we do.

[01:00:11] It's just, uh, one of those things that, again, I feel like I had a blinders on, we all, I think walk with our little blinders. Mine was it'd never work doing it digitally doing it virtually. And I will be thrilled when we can go back to doing some live, you know, in-person, uh, keynote because I love to keynote for organizations.

[01:00:32] And I love to put on events live, uh, you know, uh, in person. But the fact of the matter is this is something I'll never give up doing this new thing because to be able to be with somebody from the other side of the world, That's feels called to do that work, to work on either getting on a Ted stage or getting a keynote developer, simply just being able to communicate more effectively with their team or their, their leadership, uh, at their company.

[01:01:02]I would never want to not be able to serve that person simply because they couldn't make it to an event that's happening somewhere else in the world for them 

Vit Muller: [01:01:12] a hundred percent. Yeah, a hundred percent of the accessibility, the, the, the, the instantaneous opportunity to switch on zoom and help somebody that's.

[01:01:25] That's what's up. That's really appealing for you. 

[01:01:28] It is. Yeah. And people who are interested in knowing more about that, they can just go to Adam and there's a place where it says work, work with us, with our team. And if you're curious about what any of that would look like, you can just go to that.

[01:01:42] And and there's information there for, uh, for people that, uh, you know, that that might be on their path, 

[01:01:48] including becoming a public speaker. 

Adam Markel: [01:01:51] Oh my God. Yeah, absolutely. 

Vit Muller: [01:01:54] Adam, there's so many more questions I could ask, but, uh, your time is precious. My time is well of all my time too, but that I wouldn't mind talk more.

[01:02:03] Uh, but I do like to keep the episodes to an hour. And also I've got family there waiting for me to make a breakfast. I've got a little son, six weeks old, so, uh, I got to go and spend some time with them, but it's been amazing to, uh, to have a chance to reconnect with you after all these years. And see, you know, And get to know, you know, your progress, you know, where your net and, and, and just, yeah, just, just have a good chat in our thing.

[01:02:29] We had a really good chat. I think we've provided tons of value to the listeners, and I'm already looking forward to edit all this up and, you know, put all the, all the time timestamps to it. And, and bit's like that so people can find what they are looking for. So, yeah. Uh, I appreciate you being on the show, taking the time out of your busy schedule to to jump on a podcast.

[01:02:47] Really appreciate that. And thank you again. We've mentioned that you've got the, the book, the, 'I love my life challenge'. So that's coming out in January. So guys, if you're listening, I'm going to put a link in the show notes and I believe there's a little offer that we worked out with if your wife, so that's a little little offer for you guys.

[01:03:06] So so just take advantage of that. Jump on it. I highly recommend, I highly recommend anything that Adam writes, because it's, it's an exceptional stuff. Anything else you'd like to say to the listeners, Adam? 

Adam Markel: [01:03:18] Uh, well, I'll say this to you first Vit. Thank you so much for having me as a guest and the idea that we met in, in In your country and, uh, so many years ago, and that we get to connect this way now is, is really special.

[01:03:32] And I love Australia. So the, I don't know how much your listenership is from, from your home country, but I am a, just a huge lover of Australia. My sister-in-law's from Adelaide. Originally, she still has family there. And there's too many places I can count that I've been to and surfed there that I, I would love and look forward to the opportunity to come back someday soon.

Mine and Adam's morning rituals we recommend to you 

[01:03:56]And just for everybody out there I'd also say, you know, the, the Ted talk that I gave. Is sort of gives three steps to a morning ritual. One when we talk about resilience, one of the keys is developing rituals for resilience. So three simple steps to this waking rituals, not even a morning ritual it is awaking rituals.

[01:04:16] So the first, the first step is to wake up. So we got to wake up today. Right Vit? 

Vit Muller: [01:04:23] Yep. 

Adam Markel: [01:04:23] All right. So, so the, the question is for folks out there, are you planning to wake up again tomorrow? And my hope is the answer is yes, we're all planning to wake up tomorrow, but there's no guarantee that we're going to get to wake up tomorrow.

[01:04:39] I don't have a contract for that. I've yet to meet anybody that has one of those. So when you do get to wake up again tomorrow and you realize, yes, I I'm waking up right now. You can, at the same time, realize there was no guarantee. It's a gift. It's, it's a blessing and you can feel grave grateful for it.

[01:05:01] So the first part of this waking rituals is to wake up. The second part is to feel grateful, just to experience gratitude, right at the very beginning of your day. And the third part, if you're willing to do it is to put your feet on the floor. And you remember, I said earlier, I shared about how I used to put my feet on the floor and feel that anxiety.

[01:05:17] Now, when I put my feet on the floor, the first things that come out of my mouth are four simple words. But they're really powerful. I love my life. Those are my four words. So that's the waking ritual, wake up, feel gratitude and say something out loud that that really feels right to you in the moment you could say, I love my life, but you could say anything you could say, you know, I wonder what miracles are coming today.

[01:05:43] Now what, whatever it is that you, you feel called to stay, that's my recommendation. You start tomorrow and you keep it up. And if you end up being with us for the 28 day challenge. Fantastic. But otherwise you can start your own challenge. See how long you can keep it up. I've been going, I guess now almost 12 years with that same waking ritual.

[01:06:02] That's that would be the last thing I'd say. 

Vit Muller: [01:06:04] And just to add to that also I'm a fitness guy, so I'm going to add an extra, like an extension to Adam's ritual. So what I do guys wake up, I do. 50 pushups, 50 squats, 50 sit-ups, but I break it down. So I will do 20, 20, 20, and then 30, 30, 30, a bit of stretching might take me 10 minutes.

[01:06:27] Do you want a bathroom? Take a cold shower, big believer in, you know, taking cold shower in the morning and especially, you know, lately. I mean, I've started this, you know, about a year ago and I, and I got to learn about Wim Hoff. So I highly recommend cold shower. Because it just wakes you up and it just fires you up.

[01:06:46] And then in a brush my teeth and do all my old, all that sort of stuff. So a little bit of exercise, cold shower, and then get on with your day. But before that art in Adam's ritual and I think you'll have a really good kickstart today. 

Adam Markel: [01:07:02] Awesome. 

Vit Muller: [01:07:02] Thank you, Adam. Thank you 

Adam Markel: [01:07:04] bet. Have a great rest of your, uh, your morning and go enjoy time with the little one.

Vit Muller: [01:07:09] Yes, absolutely. Will do. Okay, but 

Adam Markel: [01:07:13] look forward to connecting again in the future brother. You, uh, you'll be well.