Welcome back to Dont get this Twisted

In this episode, Robb and Tina explore the themes of love, infatuation, and the complexities of relationships. They discuss personal experiences with love at first sight and chemistry at first talk, reflecting on how these feelings can evolve over time. The conversation delves into the challenges of navigating past relationships, the importance of unconditional love, and the role of forgiveness in maintaining connections. They also touch on modern dating dynamics and the messiness of love, emphasizing the need for emotional maturity and the willingness to take risks in relationships.

Explicit

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This podcast and website represent the opinions of Robb Courtney and Tina Garcia and their guests to the show and website. The content here should not be interpreted as medical advice or any other type of advice from any other type of licensed professional. The content here is for informational purposes only, and because each person is so unique, please consult your healthcare or other applicable licensed professional with any medical or other related questions. Views and opinions expressed in the podcast and website are our own and do not represent that of our places of work. While we make every effort to ensure that the information, we are sharing is accurate, we welcome any comments, suggestions, or correction of errors. Privacy is of the utmost importance to us. All people, places, and scenarios mentioned in the podcast have been changed to protect confidentiality. This website or podcast should not be used in any legal capacity whatsoever, including but not limited to establishing “standard of care” in a legal sense or as a basis for expert witness testimony related to the medical profession or any other licensed profession. No guarantee is given regarding the accuracy of any statements or opinions made on the podcast or website. In no way does listening, reading, emailing, or interacting on social media with our content establish a doctor-patient relationship or relationship with any other type of licensed professional. Robb Courtney and Tina Garcia do not receive any money from any pharmaceutical industry for topics covered pertaining to medicine or medical in nature. If you find any errors in any of the content of this podcast, website, or blogs, please send a message through the “contact” page or email DGTTwisted@gmail.com. This podcast is owned by "Don’t Get This Twisted,” Robb Courtney.

And welcome to another show of Don't Get This Twisted. I am Rob along with my co-host as always Tina. How you doing, Tina? But you're like no such luck. Me too. Yeah.

I was thirsty. Sorry, I was trying to get it in before the show started, but I wasn't quick enough on the draw. Sorry about that.

But that water was delicious, I'm just saying. I know these stupid bottles, make a little bit of noise. can't just do it and think it's gonna be quiet. well, whatever.

Nope. It's all good. It's all good. But things are things are okay.

We got a drink. Yeah, nursing a bit of a hangover. We had such a great Super Bowl party yesterday. And everybody that came was just a really good time and had new friends and old friends. And yeah, it was was fun. But I realized that when I start drinking, my friends start drinking and.

Nice. Nice.

Luckily I don't drink very often because I think we'd all be alcoholics because as soon as I started, everybody started. So pretty much everybody at the whole party, with the exception of my brother, drank yesterday, which never really happens, but it was a lot of fun and it made for a good time and it was probably a little bit louder than it would have been. you know, the interaction wouldn't have been as fun and as bold. Everybody was such a good time. It's just good.

So my hangover is like a good thing, I guess. A little bit.

That's good. Yeah, nothing wrong with that. I didn't watch the game one bit. Nope, not even a play.

No, not at all. Wow.

Yeah, I wasn't I wasn't feeling it. So I was like, So I watched, I just sat and watched a TV show. That was good. That's I heard. Yeah, I it wasn't very good. So.

Nice. It was a boring game until like the middle of the second half and then it just started exploding but for the most part I'm glad I had friends there watching it otherwise I would have been bored out of my mind.

Yeah.

Made for a good party though. Yeah. Right? We got a couple coming up. I'm kind of excited. Yeah.

Yeah, I mean a party makes for a good party. Good, good. So, we were talking before we got on here today. I watched tons of material on the YouTube always. And I also listened to like different podcasts and here and there. So I like to just kind of throw things together on things that I hear.

But I heard something today that was about love at first sight and I put those in quotation marks because they were really talking about you know, is there love at first sight or is there chemistry at first talk? know, chemistry at first date, like a couple of those different things. And I think if you would have asked me

A few years ago, I would have told you, yes, I believed in it. Where I think today, I probably, hate to say, I hate to be that person and say I don't believe in it anymore, but I think it's definitely a much harder thing. But in the past, I've I've fallen for people like right out of the gate. Yeah.

Right?

Like some people, was literally just seeing them. was just like, goo goo over people like, my goodness. And then obviously there were some that were like the very first conversation I had with somebody. was like, you get it. And you're really interesting to talk to. so let's kind of go down the line of

Yeah.

Like, you believe, did you believe in it? And do you believe in it?

Love it for sight. I think.

Love it first sight or chemistry at first talk. I mean, I think they kind of walk hand in hand.

I think I totally believe in both of those things because I know I've experienced both of those things. The definition though of love at first sight, like love is one of those things where I don't know that you really have it like right away. I think you have infatuation. I think there could be lust. I think there could be

Definite feelings of attraction but love love to me as a little bit different of an of a feel then Then that you know what I mean so I have a hard time with that but Yeah, the term loosely. I totally believe in I've I felt it. I've had those those connections, so I do believe in it

Yes, I do.

Yeah, there's been a few young ladies in my past that when I first laid eyes on them, I was like, my goodness. Just wow. And yes.

Yeah. I remember, I remember being, seeing the guy and being, I want that. Like that's immediate.

Yeah, and it's... and it's wild. I mean, you're the reason for one of them. So, you know, that first day I met her, I was like... over the moon. Like, I couldn't... I couldn't stop. Like... Yeah.

you

Well, how could you not? She was just the funnest, the most energetic, the most loving, the most carefree person I think I've ever met. She's definitely up there.

Yeah, and she had a This charisma that was She was and she was dingy but incredibly smart yeah, like and I Mean and when we're talking smart, we're talking like smart smart

yeah.

Yeah, smart as hell, but dingy. Yeah.

Yeah, incredibly.

Like what she's gone on to do is, you know, a whole other thing. She's in the medical field now and like, and well ahead of a lot of people. She's, you know, she's a nurse. She does very well for herself. But then, you know, I, and again, like she, it was the eighties. So she had big curly hair. She was just dreamy.

Yeah.

Like I remember seeing her and just being like, my goodness. You know, and then, you know, obviously the more time you spent, whether it's even more of this, this thing. So, I mean, we definitely had chemistry, I think from night one, right? I mean, there was something that definitely was there.

Yeah.

And it's happened to me a couple of times. We talked about it on last week's show. There was a girl that came in at the Good Guys where I worked. And I remember seeing her at the service window and being just like, wow.

just right in your face. I don't think it's happened a lot of times for me, but this girl like she fit the bill for me. She was short and cute and

He

Her boobs were sticking up in my face and she was just a cute really cute girl. So for me it was like I was like, I gotta talk to I mean so much that I ended up you know going against company policy calling her off her phone number off of an invoice and and actually having her come back in just so I could be like I was like I gotta talk to this girl again at least one more time and thankfully we you know, we ended up dating so I

you

damn.

You

I definitely believe, and you're right, think it's infatuation at first sight, obviously not love, but it's just this, they draw themselves to you.

Yeah.

where, yeah, now I will tell you that later on in life, I met someone and when I first met them, I was married and so was she. And nothing ever happened. We were at the same event a lot. I did photography, her daughter was there and I talked to her over and over and I did a lot of talking with her. And I mean a lot.

It's a connection for sure, immediate connection.

Hmm.

I would I would go shoot some and then I would go and talk to her for 20 or 30 minutes and then I would go shoot and it was innocent it wasn't it was just like talking about things but but definitely brought me in with like being able to speak so well and I think that's what infatuated me and she was cute like she was she was a doll and then much later on in life we

Hmm.

hooked up again and again that same thing drew me in like being able to talk to somebody so well like to me is a huge turn-on where you know it's it's not always about looks even though again she was also very pretty young lady but

Being, someone really jump into my mind is what really is like such a huge turn on to me. You know, it's easy, mean, and I don't mean to say that it's like, it's easy to be pretty, but if you are pretty, you know, you might not be able to hold a conversation. And, and.

Mm-hmm.

That's true.

That you want to you want to see a date go sideways quick. Don't be able to. And mostly with me, because I'm so talkative. You know where it would go sideways quickly, you know. I ran into another friend much later in life. Where we dated in the past and it was. We had a different relationship kind of.

have nothing to talk about.

up and down. Many, many years later, I end up seeing her again. And the conversations we had is what really just blossomed. It was like talking to a different human because we had lived so much. know, it's kind of like, you know, our friend from the past, like I had talked to her.

20 years later after our relationship and as much as she was the same, you know, dingy really ha ha fun person, she had also lived. So these conversations I think are what I would say are the

the really stepping stone of chemistry at first sight. Whether it's the first time you met him or the second time, right? You you can still find chemistry, because I've met people that I hadn't seen later on in life and had zero chemistry with them after that. Just been like, ooh, yeah, you are not the same human being that you were. And that's, you know,

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

And I mean from a romantic standpoint like a lot of people I can still talk to and But ones that you were like in a very romantic relationship with at some point and then you see him later on you're like yeah, you are not a person that I want to speak with Yeah, so

Yeah.

I've been there too.

What would you when when do you remember? Like your first like my goodness moment Like do you remember it? Wow Wow, that's could see that's cool

Oh, it was with the person that, oh yeah, I remember, I remember what he was wearing. I remember the position he sat in. I remember the cologne. I remember like the smell of fresh laundry. like I, yeah, when, when that has happened to me, there's nothing that it's almost like.

the lights dim all the way around. And then there's a spotlight right on that person. And it's almost like I'm sucked into that light. yeah, it's over the years, there's been a couple of times where words burnt into me. like just saying that I could smell his cologne, I could smell it right now. Like it didn't, the memory is so vivid, it didn't go anywhere.

Right. you

Right. Wow. See, that's amazing. That's... That is... It's great that you still have that kind of memory. I think I've been hit too many times. Right. Right. Well, mostly if it's... Yeah, mostly if it's one of those ones where you kind of want to forget.

Yeah.

Well, I don't, but only for a couple of things and that's one of them. And I wish that would go away sometimes or like, you know, not be one of the ones that come like hit you like that.

Yeah, well that too, yeah, absolutely.

You know what I mean? Because I've had You know, there's and again when I say I want to forget I don't mean like Forget forget is no I there's no one I want to ever forget But there are people that you have to place in a new category And that's just for your own good, you know cuz

Yeah. For sure. That's... Yeah.

You can easily. Well, and it's generally for your own good, so you don't keep hurting yourself. You know, I mean, I've I've had to do it recently. And and really kind of sit back and go, hey, you know, this person has moved on. You have to move on, it's.

That's just what happens in certain situations for sure.

It's true.

right?

I enjoy the time we had together and the things that I was able to experience with her, whether it was as a friend or not, or as more. at some point, when everyone is moving in a different direction, you have to...

step back and realize that it's time for them to be a different kind of friend or mate or whatever it is. Yeah.

yeah.

It's not easy either if you once had some sort of a relationship with them to turn the romantic part off and just be a friend. That takes some extreme work and extreme composure in order to do that.

I will tell you that I think it's almost impossible to do that.

I don't know, had, back in the day, I had a boyfriend for just a really short time and I really, really liked him and we tried to date and it didn't work out and then we went to friends and for me, it wasn't that hard because I didn't want to be close to him anymore but he was still somebody that I loved and adored and wanted around and was a good friend and...

I was able to do that fairly easy and just be friends.

Now you tried to date or you had a relationship? So that I can see that it might work, but I mean, if you've had a, and I mean a relationship.

We, we dated, but it was.

Well, we were together every day though, so it was like we had a relationship, but I think the relationships, the relationship was more friends, like super good friends and less the romantic side. So with that, I was able to manage that and I still have a friendship to this day with him.

Mm-hmm. See, for me, I think once you have a serious romantic relationship,

It is very, very difficult to just be friends. It just is because here's the thing. And once you get to a point of intimacy and being naked around each other and having some kind of feeling, it's hard.

It's probably almost impossible, yeah.

right?

When one of you have it and the other doesn't, it is a horrible, horrible, horrible thing to do. Because the person who has the feeling, no matter what they do, they look at that person and go, I'm still turned on by them. So you have to distance yourself. It's not easy. Can you be friends? Yes.

Yeah.

But I think people, one of you are always thinking, I hope that other relationship takes a shit.

well, I look at that with my ex that I was with for 22 years and I I think with I Think I could confidently say that neither one of us are looking to get into a sexual relationship of any kind again or have any sort of dating or anything in the mix like we're we we ran that out for sure, but

We have been able to become really good friends and that just took emotional.

Yeah, I mean, I think it can be done obviously, but I think if there's

Maturity is what it did. I mean it wasn't it was not that hard It was harder being in a situation where we both weren't happy by far And I think that now that we're not living together. We're not sleeping together we're not As involved in each other now we have a really good relationship

any feeling. It's, it is very, very difficult because you just, you know, you're seeing that person as, you know, something more or something you want to still be more. So, you know, I, like I said, can you do it? Absolutely. I think it can be done. for me, it's very, you know, it's very difficult.

You know.

Most like I said if I like them still once if I end You know and it all matters how that relationship ends and and there's a lot of story that goes with that But could I be friends? Yeah, I could I could absolutely be friends with somebody that I've had an intimate relationship and we both know that It just can't go any further Because you know Right, you know like yeah, we ran this course. We ran it

into the ground we know that both of us are I have no it's I'll give you my a given my ex-wife if my ex-wife woke up tomorrow and was like hey I'm single I'd be like good for you yeah I wouldn't that's just not that it ran its course for a lot of different reasons

Heh.

I know a friend.

Yeah.

And I just think that I would have a problem even, you know, getting down that road. Trust is a very hard thing where, you know, people who break trust, it's hard to go back to them and believe them. So that one I know for a fact I would be fine with. Like I could...

Yeah.

But there's there's girlfriends from the past that But just you know, you're not there anymore. I'll give you it like the girl who cuts my hair I dated I love her to death but I've I know a hundred and ten percent now that Whatever it was when it was happening. It was just it was good for both of us, but we're not for each other

We have two totally different systems of belief. We have different, you know, we just have different things that I know for a fact that there's just nothing there. So like that one, I can go get my haircut, say hi. She's got a, she's going to, she's engaged to be married. As soon as I saw her ring, I was like, I'm happy for you. And I'm, and I can be like, great to see you. I'm there for 15 minutes and it's say lobby out the door and there's

Mm-hmm.

I don't even think of her like that anymore. It's just not there. So, but you know, there's definitely people that I would do my best to not go down that road because I know that there's feelings there. So, and, and it's, it's just difficult when you don't want to be friends and they do. And that's all they want to be.

Absolutely.

That it is, yeah.

You know, you find yourself going, hey, you know, so I think the, you know, look, modern dating.

But there's two things though. The first, and let me see if I'm gonna remember this, the first thing is if one is wanting to be in a different place than the other, it's gonna be hard to be friends. It's gonna be hard to do that. And if you had that love at first sight thing, I don't know that you could ever completely do it and be 100 % that you're not gonna cross the line.

there's always that little whatever. Yeah, so you gotta be careful where you drift because...

There's

always that spark. I agree. I think that what you're saying is 100 % correct because that you see the you might see the same spark you had before in a newer version as well where you're like, man. And, but you're right once

Yeah.

Once you have that chemistry click, it's difficult to be like, Hey, do want to just hang out and, you know, have a drink and, you know, have a little food and then go away. It's like, no, I don't. Because when I see you, you know, my mind, you know, takes us to this place we were at before, you know,

Right?

It takes me to the, you know, whatever. Sex and the jacuzzi, whatever, you know, whatever it is. So you know what I mean? Like it's, yeah, it's just a difficult thing.

You

I the second thing is I've learned through my my lifetime what unconditional love is and Unconditional love to me is when If you're if you're be friends with somebody after you've dated you've got to love them enough to allow them to move on and to find something new and to be with someone different and to

If you're their friend, you have to support it. Like I have just my one of my best friends that's married to another one of my friends. I support their relationship. I don't cause any problems in between the two of them. When they've had problems, I counsel them to be together and to work it out and to, you know, not whatever you need to do to support that couple.

you need to do. That's that's what unconditional love is. And if you're if you love somebody and the other person's not loving you, you have to you have to let them move on and do it. I always say do it with kindness. Like I'm I am releasing you with love so that you can move on and you can have a good life. And and that's getting past the ego that we all have and and truly being supportive.

of the person that you once loved. And that's that for me has been truly difficult, like to to love somebody regardless of how they feel about me, or to support somebody that that maybe I wanted to stay with they didn't want to stay with me. But now, supporting supporting that decision or supporting that

Yeah, supporting that decision and and staying out of the way so that that could happen because if again unconditional love means you got a lot of you got to love them enough to let go and to move on and to hopefully find the life that they're looking for that's part of unconditionally loving somebody

Absolutely. And no matter how hard it is,

So it's it's not always easy. But it doesn't have to be so difficult either. You gotta love yourself to know that if somebody doesn't love you, you need to let them go.

Because it's. No, and and and I've done it for quite a while. But. Somebody can't be with. Yeah. Or you just can't, it's you know, like this one girl that.

It's harder to love somebody that you can't have and not let go of. just... that can happen. You can't do that to yourself.

I think we've all been in a situation where we've loved what we, yeah, somebody we shouldn't be with, can be with.

I'm talking about. She. I was there during a lot of hard times in her life. She ended up meeting somebody and decided to date them. I bowed out. For myself, I was like, look, that's awesome. Go date them. I think it's better that I just kind of disappear. We talked to each other via text a couple of times since then.

She ended up getting married, which is awesome. And I wish her nothing but the best of happiness. But yes, that is one of those things where you, you have to step back. And now that it's been a long time, like a year, you know, I've moved on. I've met other people that, you know, have sent me in another direction. So it was good for me that, you know, at the end,

Yeah.

Like she met somebody she's happy it changed my trajectory to meet someone else So it's kind of one of those things where you have to just kind of go all right the those things like we've talked about some things are just meant to happen and Even when you think they shouldn't Like some things I go man, I just shouldn't have

Right?

Ran into this person again, or I haven't you know why it's it's odd that we we've came to this place You know what I mean? Cuz you just you never figure it's going to happen that way But you know it's it's sometimes for the best and and the chemistry out of that would ended up being really amazing You're just like yeah, like this is a this is a good thing and the chemistry is

Right?

is very strong and the chemistry is there. So, I mean, there's a lot to be said, really. You know, things are meant to kind of happen when you get through these love at first sights or chemistry at first talks, these things that drive us as humans, because we're all

The visually stimulating part is easy Right, it's easy to see someone who you find attractive and go Wow Then to add that chemistry on top of it is Like then you're fucked because then you're like, you know what I mean? You're like, it's like a hook-in-mouth You just end up like a fish on a hook

Yup.

And no matter what you're like, my goodness, they and they're just reeling on in. And, for me, you know, man, I want to believe in that because I, just think that it's a great thing when it happens. Chemistry is. Yeah. And it's happened, you know, since 1989.

Excuse me, right?

You've had it happen though, so how can you not believe in it?

It's happened a couple of times. So yes, it's, it's, just think now it's, and I'm going to use the old modern dating thing that no one is willing to put in time past the, you know, sometimes chemistry can be a little bit on the first time and then

It grows to the second date and then by the you know, this at the end of the second date you're like like yeah, this is This is something I like and i'd like to see where this is going to go and then You have to get to the third one to the fourth one to really understand that the chemistry is incredibly strong I you know Because i've been on them, you know within the last you know three years

I

And I dated several people and and like one and done lots of one and done these like internet datings. I met one woman that I ended up going on two dates with. She wasn't ready to be dating I think full time but I thought we had decent chemistry together and

Mm-hmm.

Would have kind of liked to see where that went but she was very upfront and was like yeah, like I'm I don't think I really want to date right now and I've seen and talked to her since and she's not dating She's just like no. No, it's not really her thing, which is awesome but But I've also met people Again that kind of just I mean without

Really?

sounding horrible, like tickled my pickle, right? Like just you, you, you meet them and they're like interesting and then they say things and they're even more interesting. And then you're like, wait a second. Like, this is something that I could definitely build on. And you know, this could have some kind of maybe foreseeable future. So, you know, I, I, maybe I'm just

Mm-hmm.

very, I don't want to say that I don't believe in it. I'm just very skeptical, right? That, and maybe that's just an age thing, because, you know, I would go out on a limb that my son probably, you know, believes in chemistry at first sight, and that if you can meet somebody and you can have really good chemistry with them, you can make it work. And,

Right.

Mm-hmm.

I believe now that with with decent chemistry and someone who is willing to build with you, you can make things really work. Just getting past some of the speed bumps. I just think today with both sides of the fence, people are so. You know, everything's based on looks right when you're looking at a stupid app.

Mm-hmm.

There's nothing else. At least if you meet somebody in person, you can at least gauge, you know, off of that. But I guess that even that's becoming like bars. Young people aren't drinking anymore, they said. It's like becoming less and less. So I guess if you're not. I don't know. They're not.

Hmm. Is there smoke in weed or eating edibles or taking mushrooms? what?

Mean I'm assuming maybe they're I mean people are still at bars, but the last couple I've been in have been old people Or like like Millennials like 35 and older Like yeah young people at least close to me. There is a there's a bar around the corner from me that I heard a Little later at night. It kind of gets young but it's not like you would think

Right?

Really?

Yeah, so I was like, oh, and again, some of these things I listen to, they're saying that Gen Z are just not drinkers. I think they think it's too expensive. You know, you go out at night, you end up spending hundreds of dollars and, you know, so maybe that's just the thing is that they're just not wanting to do that part of it.

Which makes sense because money is tight. But I don't know. I love the idea of chemistry at first talk because I've had really good conversations with people and I think that the chemistry is like sends me, it sends me away with like, man, that could be really, that could be really good and that could be, that could work.

Right.

Man, it's I have a good time with this person and blah blah blah. So I I'm just I think a little skeptical these days. Maybe that's the bigger thing. It's not that I don't believe I'm just a tad on the skeptical side. You know, just and maybe that's because I don't want to get hurt again. I'm I'm just at a point where I'm like, I don't want to. In it, it's it's just difficult, right?

I wonder why.

Had enough?

I mean, relationships are difficult and I know that, but it's like getting hurt sucks. And, how many times do you want to continue to, you know, put your hand on the stove?

Yeah, I mean it's you're right. It's the biggest risk You'll probably ever take Because you know, it's you have to be willing to get hurt

Well, I think that depends on what you want out of life because if you don't take risks, you're not going to get the rewards. And especially with love, like that's that's a given.

It's, you know, I will...

Any any relationship where there's love you got to realize there's going to be there's going to be an equal balance of hurt that goes with it like it's Love love doesn't come love isn't coming in a perfect box where nobody's hurt and everything's perfect like love is one of the messiest Emotions, I feel like I've ever felt

You know, and it takes you all over the place, like from good to bad and everywhere in between. So you kind of got to know that with love or with attraction or with connection, there's it's going to be messy. It's not going to be. It's not going to be all butterflies and roses for the duration of the relationship. It comes with a lot of shit. And that's.

Right. Lots of speed bumps. You have to.

Every relationship, you know, I've I've had I love the hell out of my parents But I didn't always like what they did I had issues with that Same thing with my ex same thing with my boyfriend same things with my kids same things with my brother it Again everything I've said this before everything in nature has balance and you got to expect there's gonna be good and bad

And that's just the...

Yeah, it's. It's. Right, that's 100 % true. You know you you have to be able to see. Past. The line, the horizon. You know it's it's easy to look at the horizon line and go man everything from the horizon to me. I can see everything is good.

That's the risk you take, but it's also the reward you take.

But past the horizon is the first time something happens in your relationship and you don't cave. You go, no, we're gonna be fine. Like, this is gonna work. We shouldn't have to worry at all. Yeah, we had this happen and we had this happen and this happen, but man, we're stronger than that and man, our relationship's been so good. Let's not screw it up.

Well, and again, with unconditional love or with love of any dynamic, there has to be a level of forgiveness because you're not always going to be in the best mood. So you're not going to always give 100. Well, they're not going to give you 100 either. There's, know, everybody's human. Everybody makes mistakes. Everybody has insecurities. Everybody has strengths. And the trick is to find the

unconditional part where you could put up with the things that you don't like and you could love the things that you really do and and you find peace in that and I think that like through the dating and stuff it's hard to find peace in that because people don't know how to stick which is normally while they're why they're single especially at our age and and you know I think that I think that it'll happen but I also think that

rationally we try to make things like well i could do this with her i could do this with him and yada yada yada but if that chemistry isn't there it's not going to be long-lived it's just not meant to be here you're in the situation that you shouldn't be and you're on the wrong street

Right. Right. Yeah, if there's chemistry, you should build on it. You know?

sure. And if somebody's a good person and actually loves you, like you shouldn't turn your back on that.

100 % 100 % you

I mean, you do whatever you have to do to be in the relationship, whatever you change the dynamics of it to suit the situation. But if it's somebody that's good to you, you got to hold on to that because there's just not a lot of good people in this world right now that are even wanting to to be that to a person. So when you find it, it's special and it should be cultivated.

100 % I think you're you're right there too. There's just so many people who who aren't willing to even try to have a relationship anymore.

Yeah, everybody's worried about being hurt or being the victim. like, you know what? If somebody hurts me, I'm not a victim. That means that the person that did it is the hurt one. I just happened to be the one that it got brought out on, but it's not my fault. And I wish that people would understand that and stop taking responsibility for that because I think we have enough broken in this world. It's time to just let it be for what it is and

and be truthful with ourselves and not get all caught up in the illness of it all.

Right. mean, yeah, I think you just need to do your best to see what's going on in the best light you can and do your best to

Right.

to be the best light.

Yeah, further the relationship the best you can, you know I'm gonna read one quote here before we we sign off for the night and I think Yeah, I know it goes quick You know, we've been doing our shows. It looks like we're gonna end up going to an hour format at some point This right here, I think is should be the quote that everyone needs to write down put it in your

Mm-hmm.

I can't believe we're almost done with this already.

Yeah.

Wow.

Journal put it in your phone whatever it's actually from a British TV show And I just loved it from the beginning It this guy is there they're in a They're in a little diner in the morning and they're if they're drinking their coffee and they're this one guy falls in love with every girl he ever dates and then Has sex with them and then ends up

Somehow going on to the next thing because secretly he loves his best friend. He loves this girl That's but they've only been friends. They slept with each other one time and she was kind of blew it off and Then but throughout the series he just can't get past her But he says something to this other guy who's going through a problem as well and he says Finding love is all heartbreak disappointment and misery until it isn't

So I think that that is just the quote of quotes because he's right. Everything is misery and disappointment and all these things until it isn't. Cause then you find somebody who doesn't bring that. And the next thing you know, you're like, shit. This is what I've been searching for.

That's for sure.

So when you find that chemistry, I think it's something that you really need to dig into and and cultivate. Yeah, because it's all disappointment and shit until it isn't. I mean, it's just a. No, it's all disappointment until it isn't. And then when it's not. But look, and here's the other thing, too.

and not fear.

It's sassism.

It's all disappointment.

This is the last thing I'll say since it's we're right at our time. If you're in something and it's not disappointment and hurt and everything. Don't don't set self-sabotage that don't. You know, I think some people who've been hurt for years and years and years, they end up finding something and then they do their best to find something broken in it.

Because they don't believe it's real. A hundred percent. But these are the things that we have to work on as humans and go, you know, all this shit has been really good. Maybe I shouldn't fuck this up. You know, like, has been great and I'm searching for a reason to shit on it. But why am I searching for a reason to shit on it? It's good.

That's a hard one though. That's a really hard one.

So, go out there and find somebody and if you have chemistry with them, do not let them get away, cultivate it and have a good time. There's a lot of good things still out there for us older folks and even these young people, go out there and if you find somebody that's good for you,

Cultivated.

lasso them up and and you know see what it is anything else tiner all right i summed it up what do know i summed it up check us out on all social medias i've been posting a lot and i mean the show comes out on wednesdays and do us a favor if you can share it with the people in your neighborhood

No, I think you pretty much said it. You summoned it up.

Whatever you listen on like Spotify and or Apple If they have an Apple phone you can hit the little arrow and share it and send it off to them and If you're on Spotify, you can send it to pretty much any phone anywhere We thank you we're like 40 downloads away from 10,000. So that's pretty cool and Yeah, check us out everywhere. it's an opinion show. Don't get it twisted keep coming back every Wednesday

I'm Rob, that's Tina, and we'll see you in a week. Later.

See ya.