Dr. Stance dives deep into a heartfelt conversation with the legendary Kamaiyah, exploring her incredible journey from the foster care system to becoming a respected artist. Right off the bat, we discuss how her past shaped her resilience and creativity, and Kamaiyah shares some raw, honest experiences that many might find surprising. We laugh and reminisce about the quirks of growing up, the struggles of navigating life's challenges, and the importance of self-love and authenticity. Kamaiyah opens up about how her upbringing influenced her artistry and the lessons she's learned along the way. This episode is not just a fun chat; it’s a powerful reminder of the strength that comes from overcoming adversity and staying true to oneself. So grab your headphones and get ready for a blend of laughter, inspiration, and some real talk!

Foreign.

What's up?

What's up?

What's up, y'?

All?

Thank y' all for tapping in with Dr. Stan's.

Turning your hustle into a dang on legacy.

I'm with the original legendary Ms. Kamaya.

It's Kamaya.

Let's go.

PF.

You know that's the original.

Let's.

Let's back it up.

But I had to have you on the platform.

Thank you for having me.

Of course.

Just so you know a little about me.

Very little.

Because it's really about you.

I do foster care.

I do transitional housing for foster youth.

And I house 50 youth.

Okay, that's good.

Literally I have 50 apartments.

They don't pay no bills, no nothing.

So when I found out, talking to your beautiful manager, sitting over there, just looking party.

Anyway, I gotta call you out.

Just, you know, reaching out to her.

She told me that you grew up the foster system.

I said, oh, I need her now.

I was supposed to have a foster youth here.

They had a situation, but they was so eager to meet you.

And I think you being on this platform, you know, telling your story about being in foster care.

But now look at you.

You a legend.

I hated that shit.

I. I want to talk about it.

Talk to me about it.

What was that like, sis?

Jail for babies.

I always say that sh.

That shit.

Baby jail.

My situation was just hella unorthodox.

Cuz I felt like anybody who know my story, know my background, know my mom, sister has 12 kids.

So it's like when we was kids, they live downstairs, we live upstairs.

So ass whoopings, whatever.

That ain't not the norm, you know, I'm grown now, so I understand.

I overstand.

Like people that young, 19 to 23, with damn near 20 some kids to look at there, of course they overstressed and highly stimulated.

You feel me?

Now we have therapists and stuff that talk about that.

But back then it was just sit your ass down, throw some at you.

So I ended up eventually in foster care due to circumstances.

And it's like shit, it was like dinner.

The worst time of my life.

I used to cry every night.

I want to go home.

I peed in the bed till I was like 12, 13.

Just cause I was traumatized.

Absolutely.

It's like they pull you out of your environment where you used to and you regulated to environment with random people.

And I bounced around.

It wasn't like I stayed with one family.

It'd be like you be here for three months, then you here for two months, then you over Here.

And then it's always like I'm packing up and moving and gotta get to know people over again.

But I think it helped me a little bit with my personality to be personable.

Cause I'm so used to maneuvering different individuals and they backgrounds and shit.

So it just helped later on.

But as a kid, no, I hated that shit.

Damn, sis, did you.

What was your worst experience in a foster care home?

Because I was a foster parent and I took 17 and up only.

Okay, girls only the toughest time of freaking lives.

I feel like for me it was more so like environmentally, it's not structured for most people for them to pay attention to everything that's going on.

But I got all boys, cousins and brothers and s. So I peep shit.

So I remember one family.

I ain't gonna say their names, whatever, but she had like a house and then she had a group home for boys.

And she would take us over there.

And particularly this one little girl, she used to always go in the room with the nigga.

And the nigga was older than us, so I already knew what time it was.

Like, it's some tricky shit going on.

So it's like shit like that.

Like you just gotta pay attention to when you got a bunch of kids that you can't really watch.

Cause it's like N is doing weird shit.

Absolutely.

And y' all got somebody else kid in your home for this time to take care of them and nurture them.

And then we grow up.

And don't forget or don't unlearn them behaviors.

You know what I'm saying?

And that's a part of their trauma to the day they die.

Are you close to like any foster care siblings, like still to this day?

I think I always encourage my kids.

Y' all stick together.

It's a whole another community that people don't pay attention to.

And I think that that's dopest.

Are you still close with your mom?

Who?

My real mother.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's dope.

That's her home girl.

I like that.

I like that.

How does she.

I'm into time, though.

I ain't going to lie to some time.

What took time, like just me, like.

How I'm talking to you about it, like forgiving them and understanding like the age demographic and environmentally, you know, the prejudice and circumstantial barriers that keep them from growing and shit.

And then when you get older and especially when you're as successful as I am, you understand like, shit.

They didn't really understand that it's something different until you showed them something different.

So you can't really get mad at them from doing all they knew.

Cause even now, she's still be learning shit.

I think through me, she'll see me do some shit and she be like, oh, okay.

That's how you supposed to.

Da, da, da.

Do you travel with her?

Do you take.

No, no.

My mama, like, she like extra it out.

Like she gonna be in the room.

I remember one time we was out here, I had a festival.

This is big festival you can look at up called outside Lands.

So I go to the bathroom, I come back, she like talking to Lorianne Gibson and they dancing and I'm like, what in the.

So to this day, like, I know Lorianne Gibson because my mama drunk ass.

Which I don't know.

Like, she'll just come.

Hey, pull clap.

Like just.

Cause she saw you on TV and she just hella extraed out, like.

So I'm like, no.

Yeah.

I just.

I can't take you nowhere.

Cause I know where this shit go.

I'm fucking go this way.

And you fucking talking to Beyonce in the corner like, what the fuck are you doing?

Hey, hey.

Somebody got to do it.

That's my mama, I'm telling you.

Period.

And I honestly, I appreciate because I kind of, you know, share the same story and the same struggle.

And you know, my mom, rest in peace, she passed, but I think still forgiving.

That shows your growth.

Yeah.

Because you're young.

How old are you?

Tell the people 30 years.

Hella Young.

You look hella good.

You just.

I think that's.

It's such a blessing that you made it out, sis.

Cause you know, I deal with a lot.

I still feel like I'm in this shit.

I ain't gonna lie.

I tell niggas all the time, like, you ain't out it until you go to sleep at night and don't feel like you woman stay away from going back to the ghetto.

Hell no.

I be like, I wake my motherfucking steak.

Say the wrong thing, do the wrong thing.

You could be right back in the ghetto, you know?

So I feel like you made it out, sis.

And I mean, coming from a foster care perspective, a lot of them got a lot of fucking trauma.

And you didn't allow your trauma to affect you, your future.

You know what I'm saying?

It actually made you stronger.

Am I right?

See what I'm saying?

So I'm proud of you for that.

And even to sit here and tell the world your story.

A lot of People can't do that to me.

It's healing, and this is a part of who you are.

It is.

I feel like it helped you grow because, like you said, a lot of the women that I knew, like, one of my homegirls got stabbed the up.

It was on the news and everything.

Like, we grew up together, and.

And I'm like, God damn.

She was in the system with you?

Yeah.

I went to a bad school for bad kids and shit.

It was just called Lincoln Child Center.

It was just a terrible environment.

And I realized, like, I was there most so because I acted out, like, now that I'm older and I overstand, like, what I was doing.

I was acting out because I wanted to be with my mom.

And I was like, I'm over here and I'm.

Feel me.

I'm not.

My emotions ain't regulated type.

Y' all was really up like all them other kids.

So I felt like her specifically, her name was Aisha Rice.

I knew she was, like, always off because it's like, you never know what mood this gonna be in.

Today she might be cool.

Tomorrow, she might be trying to punch your ass upside the head.

So even when she died, I was like, damn, that's fucked up.

But then I kind of went into the out of my emotions.

Like, she probably provoked this.

It's just like, you go through all these emotions, but it's still like, damn, you die, you know?

Yeah.

Because she got stabbed to death, her family went to do a wellness check on her in San Jose and found her dead.

Yep.

And the who killed her went to Vegas and they extradited them back.

But the who killed her.

I know that too.

I knew him since we was kids through my cousins, and I missed him in passing.

Hell, yeah.

Life.

But it's just like, stuff like that.

It's very common with kids who come out of the system because a lot of us don't have families to go back to or a structure that sets you up for success.

You just get throughout on the streets, no job, no nothing.

And you trying to figure it out and wing it.

And it's a fast track that prostitution are drug and crime.

So it's like, quick.

And I don't want to do none of that shit.

I'm like, I'm not with this shit.

Did you always know you wanted to be a rapper?

Hell, yeah.

I've been rapping since I was a little kid.

Wow.

So you literally living out your dream.

Wow.

It happened the way I thought it was gonna happen, but it happened the way God wanted it to.

That's how I feel.

But you still live in your dream.

Yeah.

You see what I'm saying?

And.

And it's nothing but up from here.

Yeah.

At the end of the day, I.

Tell people every day, literally, it's a blessing that I get to wake up and do something I love.

Like, I don't have to clock in.

Even when I'm irritated, I'm like, shit, you could be there.

Cause I tell her, like, right now, they have me sitting down.

I might be bored as fuck, but I'm like, you bored right now?

For this season, the next season, you gonna be so busy, you gonna wish and pray to God that you could go back to it right now.

Sit down for a minute, Enjoy this shit.

That's all I be having to tell myself.

I totally get that.

I have the same thing.

Me waking up and I don't have no schedule because it.

But it.

But then when I'm at home and I'm bored, I'm like, well, what the.

I'm not.

What am I supposed to do?

I'm looking at walls.

I can't even think straight, so I'm fine.

So guess what I do.

I create a whole nother business.

It's sick.

Like, I'm a serial entrepreneur, but it's real crazy.

But I want to ask you, has your loyalty ever cost you an opportunity?

Mm, my loyalty to myself.

I feel like I got boundaries, and I feel like self respect.

I feel like in the entertainment industry, people don't.

They'll do anything for success.

I turn down an opportunity because it just doesn't align with my beliefs.

I like that.

So, yeah, in that aspect, huh?

What's one opportunity you turn down?

Me and Kehlani project, we just wasn't seeing eye to eye, and I'm like, I'm not about to bow down or sacrifice how I'm feeling for the sake of success, because I'd probably be ten times more famous right now if that came out.

But it just didn't align with me at that time.

I respect that.

Me personally, because I don't want to do what I don't want to do.

And if we not getting along and I feel like it's it, it would have blew up worse.

You know what I'm saying?

Like, in a public eye and we from the town, it would have looked so crazy.

They like, these is tripping.

But then when her and Keisha got into it, it kind of confirmed my alignment at that time.

So it was like, okay, so y' all see I'm not crazy, cuz.

Everybody was just like, you.

It's like, nah, y' all just don't see the little cuz.

You know, some people good at hiding, pretending they spin f you, and they just drop shit.

Drop shit, drop shit.

And nobody else sees it.

And then you get upset and they like, oh, you're the crazy one.

That's like, all right.

That's my life.

Yeah.

Speaking of Keisha Cole, you know, I grew up with her.

Shout out to Keisha.

She was a foster kid.

Yeah.

You know what I'm saying?

Yeah.

That's what.

She used to live around the corner from me.

A lot of people don't know that.

Yeah, Horseman.

I went to Horseman with Keisha Cole.

Keisha Ash used to live around the corner from me.

And when I was in la, we used to just pull up and smash on me.

I used to be like, what the fuck?

But I respect it now.

Cause I'm like, she was trying to keep me from making the mistakes she made in the business.

So she'd be.

She'll say little shit, and then she'll just disappear and then she'll pop up.

You be like, what the fuck?

Yeah, I know, but it's like a big cousin that you just don't see when you.

She always on your ass.

And I'm like, I get it now.

Like, I get what you trying to set me up for.

Like, to this day, I've never missed any shows.

Being late to nothing, none of that shit.

Because Keisha was on my ass.

She be like, don't miss this.

Don't do this.

I remember one time I was hella sick.

It was the first day of my biggest tour.

And she like, get your ass up.

You don't get to be sick.

Get dressed and go to that show.

I'mma be there later.

You think that bitch was there when I got there?

Absolutely not.

But she made sure I was there.

I was like, okay, I get what you're doing.

That's when it clicked to me.

I'm like, I respect her.

Because she was like, what do you mean, you sick?

I don't give a about you having a flu.

You don't get to have a flu.

I'm like, what?

I'm sick.

I could barely breathe.

She's like, get your ass up, and I'll see you later.

Bye.

Love you.

I got to the show, I'm like, where Keisha.

Keisha stopped answering the phone.

Like, this is shout out to Keisha.

I'm hollering, definitely.

I think that it's good to have somebody to have your back in the industry.

Right.

Because I think.

And when you don't and you out there and it's like, even me doing this, people be after you when they see you going up, and it don't be always positive.

How do you deal with that?

Because I'm new to this.

I don't let nobody around me, see.

So that's.

Is that good or bad?

Nah, it's good because I. I filter it if I feel like you cool.

It's like a system.

I peep.

And then if I keep seeing 17, I'm like, hell, no.

But she kind of the same way, so it works.

What's your sign?

Pisces.

Oh, water.

What's your sign, sis?

Period.

What's the date?

I'm the 19.

We go crazy, and they love us.

And I.

And this is the thing.

Y' all could put our fire out.

Yeah.

You know what I mean?

Yes.

So it's a balance.

Y' all is extra sensitive and emotional, so we just know how to deal with y' all asses.

But see, I'm not really like that, though.

Yeah, I think she is.

Huh.

Only one people with me.

Right.

I be minding my business.

That's true.

That's very true.

And we just like my rising and all that extra shit kind of like balances it out.

But that's definitely true.

I.

It's like, you gotta keep fucking with me.

And then I don't get mad, I get hurt.

Mm.

So I'm not reactionary with anger.

It's like, I don't wanna fuck with you.

And I just stop fuck with you.

And then it fuck with people more that I won't.

I don't wanna talk to you.

So your cutoff game is just.

And they be, oh, calling her.

Calling this person.

Why she on that?

You know, what the fuck you did?

Why you not calling me?

Why you calling them like.

It's like, shit like that.

I be like, weirdo.

I'm working on that.

Cause my cutoff game is really, really bad.

Now you say you stay in the bay.

Do you think that being local is holding you back from.

I just moved back in.

I know we were saying that.

Yeah.

Now I was in LA for eight years.

What was that like?

Why you move back?

My family.

And then they all just started dying, so I'm like, I just need to get the fuck back out of here.

Yeah.

Now, when I first moved back, my cousin OD'd.

I had an uncle OD'd.

One of my great Aunties died, one of my close friends died, another cousin died.

It was like all in like six months.

Hella people died.

And then last year, my cousin died in August, was August.

He just.

I was like, bro, I don't want to be here no more.

Damn.

Then me and my family ain't really being the tightest because you know, when people keep dying, everybody self regulates different or whatever.

Absolutely.

So some people, you feel me, they trauma response and they grieving, they push people away, start trauma drama, whatever.

But I'm like, I'd rather move back to la.

I didn't have all this.

It seemed like I came here to be closer to y' all and we further than we ever been.

So.

So it's like that's been my kind of like, I don't know, grievances with being here.

It's like, damn, I came all the way back here to be closer to my family and we ain't even close like that.

You consider moving back or you just rather stay?

I feel like if I move, I'm gonna move somewhere random as fuck.

Like where?

Like fucking Kentucky or some random shit.

Just start a different life.

No, for real.

And just thug it out.

Like I just feel like I wanna just go somewhere and just fucking Montana on a mountain or some shit.

And just who is this nigger bitch?

Like y' all need to be so thrown off.

Like, why are you here?

Whole time uncle my ass is, hey, at the farmer's market.

That's the type of life I wanna live.

And nobody knows.

I ain't gonna lie.

I ain't gonna hold you for that.

I don't like to be known.

And here I am on the goddamn platform being known.

So it's like, it's a lot, you know what I mean?

I actually was just having this conversation.

I take my hat off to celebrities and people that are in the industry.

Cause you always being watched.

And when you ain't got a filter, like, I'm working on it because I'm Dr. Stance.

So they say I'm a little vulgar, but that's who I am, you know what I mean?

So I need to, um.

Don't let you know I just wrote a book, hold a CEO.

I gave you a copy.

Oh, shit.

Overshadow Dr. Stant, if that makes sense.

How do you feel about that?

Because it's a lot of politics with this.

I'm not a politicky, I'm authentic.

So I'm like, damn, if I want to blow up, I got a politician.

I feel like people like you from in my experience, when you authentic.

That's what I said.

I'm like Tupac for real.

So it's like you going to get me and see me and I feel like that's kind of my detriment because people don't know how to separate the two.

That's what I'm saying.

It's like Kamara the artist and Kamara the person is not a fine line because I'm the same motherfucker on and off the stage.

So it's like they be kind of confused.

And it's like, hey, bitch, you can't do that.

I just said that.

And I'm like, so how do you separate the two?

That's where I like kind of go into my reclusive shell and recharge.

I don't deal with people because I know when I'm operating in a space of or environments when everybody around, they gonna treat me like, you know.

So I just gotta know how to protect myself and align myself with my peace.

So I go home.

Me too.

I like my house.

I'll be in the house.

Me too.

I be in the fucking house.

I was in the.

Literally, I was in the house.

I think past three, four weeks only come out to record.

That's me.

She gotta fucking call me to come outside.

I seen your Instagram where they was all jumped in your bed.

And I don't know if this is recently a holiday.

Uh huh.

Using their sleep.

I said, that's me right there.

I'm asleep.

Everybody kicking.

I'm fucking in the bed sleep watching the walls.

I'm a little auntie and we on vacation.

That's what we just in Yosemite and I'm in the bed.

They like get up.

Cause I don't drink or nothing.

So I'm like, I don't wanna.

I'm working on that.

I don't drink a lot.

But you know, I have, you know, you see my henness, y'.

All.

I just take a shot to loosen up a little bit.

But for the most part, I don't.

Do drugs or drink people.

I'm just saying, God damn, I do drugs.

I just don't drink.

Don't get it twisted.

She just smokes the weed.

And I.

She told my mind I can't handle it.

Give me a Percocet.

Fuck you mean Percocet?

My mind is not.

When I was younger, I couldn't wake up without a blunt.

Now I could never smoke.

I can't my mind one.

I'm thinking I'm finna Lose everything in my life.

My life is gonna go downhill.

I'm paranoid as hell.

I'm gonna get under the bed like chicken coop.

So now I just.

I can't do it.

I'll take a shot or something and I'm cool.

Yeah.

So I take my hat off.

But you young, though.

You only 30 years old.

Wait till you get 40 and 45.

I'm like, yep, I can't do it.

Cause how you gonna lose it?

So I be telling her all the time, like, I see why people go crazy because I don't do nothing.

Like, I'm talking.

I really don't be doing drugs.

Like, I might, if it's a vacation or something, give me a little piece of that.

You know what I'm saying?

But, like, on a regular basis, I don't do nothing.

I just drink tea and drink green juices.

I'm serious.

I'll be drinking smoothies, green tea, and just on some auntie vibes.

I've been like that, though, since I was a kid.

Like, since I was 16, 17, I'd be drinking teas, vibing out.

So you think being in the foster care system has something to do with that?

The self isolation?

Yep.

I like to be isolated.

I don't.

You know that noise and the jumping off playing, and this ain't my house.

I don't know y'.

All.

I be in the room reading the book.

And that's why I'm hella intuitive and intellectual, cuz.

It's like I was in to the side.

I want to remember you in there with a Mexican and it's an Asian one and there another nigga one.

So I was like, I don't know.

We all got different backgrounds.

Some people dirty.

So it's like, I don't want to.

Oh, it's a.

It's a whole different.

Foster care is crazy.

They don't know.

People don't know.

That's why I needed you to come and tell that story.

We got kids.

It's just dirt.

I'm like, how is your panties that dirty?

And we 10.

It's a different, like, it's a different kind of dirty.

It's not the.

The normal dirty.

It's something personally never seen until I live with a gang of foster youth.

And it's just.

I think what it is, it's just lack of teaching, that's all.

You know what I mean?

I could say it to the world.

Even me growing up, no one taught me how to keep your draws clean, how to wipe yourself, how to do your Period.

And stuff like that.

It took me a long time to get that together too.

As a woman, if we're not taught, it's hard to do.

You don't know.

Especially if you're from the streets, you know what I'm saying?

But I think once we get older, we learn because somebody talked about, y' all say, oh, her angry.

Well, I knew that much.

My parents is like, see, I didn't get both my parents lowkey ocd.

So even before I even got to a goddamn forest home, like my family, whole, whole family, Loki got ocd.

I think my great grandmother and my grandmother got it because it's like it's passed down through generations.

Yeah.

One of my cousins be right here.

She be just doing.

Yeah, stop touching her.

I got a little bit too.

Yeah.

So it's like I kind of grew up like that.

So you go from that and then it's like, I, I, I don't want to go in the bathroom.

Cause y' all in here, it's piss everywhere.

Now I'm tiptoeing.

Cause I'm uncomfortable, you know, in the foster care.

And your foster mom looking at you like, what the fuck wrong with you?

I'm like, bitch, you don't see this.

I know it was bad.

I did it for two years in my house.

Yeah.

And that's what made me.

And I had the 17 and up.

You already know that.

Yeah.

They already said in their ways.

It was a different.

It's just the police knew me.

Yeah.

In Lathrop, I was lit in Lathrop.

Like they knew they be kicking up.

With them dogs and running them.

I had a foster do that.

It was an alarm on the back door because she used to run away so much.

So we'll be sleeping here.

Woo woo.

I'm like, oh shit.

They go, sade, she hopped on that door.

Her ass used to kick that door open and be gone.

Did you run away a lot or.

Nah, I never ran away.

You didn't?

Nah, I never run away.

Cuz I used to be like, where the I'mma go.

Hey, what's the longest you stay with one foster care parent?

Probably like five, six months.

That's the ones.

I'm still kind of cool with those.

You ask me.

Was they black?

Yeah.

Really?

Yeah.

The Love family.

My sister Britney Love.

I love that.

That's what's up.

And y' all still cool?

Hell yeah.

I love that.

So you did have a good experience.

I have that with the foster youth.

They love me cuz I, I took them in when nobody did.

Don't nobody take them at 17.

They only take the little kids.

Yeah, I don't want your ass.

I ain't gonna lie.

Y' all too old.

They don't.

And they disrespectful.

I was little, though.

When she took me, I was like six.

What age did you go in?

Like six, five, six.

So they had me when I was little.

Like, they the reason I ride horses and all that shit to this day.

Wow.

Because I just had a different experience.

So now that's why I moved to where I moved to, because it's all the horses and shit around there.

Wow, sis, that's kind of dope.

I ain't gonna hold you.

That's dope that.

I feel like God just always got a purpose for us all.

And, you know, obviously he put you in that situation for a reason.

To make you who you is today.

Now, like, even you come to the event, I shouldn't supposed to say that, but, you know, even you meeting the foster, they gonna go crazy over y'.

All.

To know a lot of them probably don't know your story.

They know your music, but not your story.

So to know that you a foster.

Youth, yeah, that shit ghetto.

They go crazy.

Foster care is ghetto.

They gonna go crazy.

Foster care is hella ghetto.

But I will say this.

I just had the top social worker that.

I loved that from San Francisco.

You had.

Alameda County.

Yeah.

Ooh, Poor thing.

Yard.

I used to hate that shit.

Like, when they.

Because it's like, they'll come see you, give you a couple snacks.

How's it doing?

That's it.

Gone out.

That's out.

I remember one family, I was glad.

I was glad they came and got my ass because they was creeping me out.

And then they smoked cigarettes, and so they was like, you gotta go.

Cause you got asthma.

And that saved me because I was.

I didn't want to be here anyway.

Talking about adopted me.

I don't like these people.

Was they black?

Yeah, that was older, though.

That was just weird.

Was they black?

Yeah, they was just weird.

I was in conquer with this random family, but I just didn't vibe with them.

I'm like, I don't like this.

The husband used to kind of creep me out, Peeking at me when I'm sleeping.

And then the just be just drunk and smoking cigarettes.

So I just didn't want to be there.

I'm like, y' all not my family.

I'm going back to my mama.

Like, that was always my thing.

Like, I'm going home I want to go home.

So I'm like, that was not for me.

I was.

I'll be wanting to say I'm sorry that you went through that, but it's kind of like I'm glad you did because it wouldn't have made you who the hell you is.

I always said that with my trauma too.

Like, I'm like, damn.

I.

People like, when they read my book and stuff, they'll be like, dang, you went through that.

But I'll be like, where would I be if I didn't go through that?

Do you think that sometimes, like, if you didn't go through foster care, where would you be?

Do you think you'd still be a rapper?

I mean, I always knew I had two roots.

Like even when I became an artist, I was going to school to be a psychologist.

I dropped out because I'm like, I'm like, you know, back in the days before social media was this prevalent, they was like, oh, you either do this.

Are you a certain age?

You can't do this no more.

Now anybody 67 can make a goddamn song and go viral.

So it's like there's no age limitations.

But when I was in college, I looked around and I noticed like, okay, it's like 60 year old people in my class.

I can always come back to school, but I can only be young and be a rapper so long.

So I put my all into it and I blew the up.

What do you feel about these, these, these females, I ain't saying no names, that's over 40 trying to rap and got some puss.

I'm trying to be derogatory, but have, you know, vajayjays and slagging, slanging booties and.

What do you think about that?

Honestly, I don't really pay them no mind.

Cause I feel like it's a lane for everything.

And I feel like with women I notice it's like I'm strong headed.

And we from Oakland, you know, we got the pimping hole culture.

So it's like you got the duality because you got the nurturer side, but you also got the emasculated side where you had to be masculine.

Survive in the pimping hole culture, right?

So we look at the world a little different from a different spectrum.

So most women, they do things for the eyes of men.

And once you understand that, you don't take it personal because that's in our nature.

Like we supposed to be soft, nurturing and feminine.

But because environmentally we don't move like that.

We don't operate in that headspace.

So when I see most women doing things for, like, male attention and shit, I'm like, that's what you're supposed to do.

Like, just like, it's a man's job to, like, hunt and prey on women.

Like, that's in your DNA, coded for you to pray.

So I feel like I don't be looking at them like they crazy.

I just looking at, like, she doing what she thinks is her best alternative route to success.

Much love to her.

Like, even with me, I feel like it take a little longer because I'm gamed up a little different.

But nonetheless, the success is a success.

But I will say you sex sales, that's just not who you are.

I like that you're authentic.

And you yourself.

A lot of women that are in the industry, they got to feel like they show that titty because the men.

I'm telling you, it's the men.

It's the man.

When I came in, YG wasn't on that.

He not.

He like, you a gangster, period.

He's like, I'm bro, come out from Oakland.

That's how I tell everybody.

Like, when they meet me, he'd be like, I just signed orders.

Just a home girl.

Come on, she from Oakland.

She gangster.

That's what you tell people.

Like, you just tell them straight like that.

So it was never, like my issue when I came in to ever feel pressured to, like, you know, I show my titties, whatever, because that's because I want to.

Like, you'll see me switch it up, and people be like, oh, why?

You know, because that's what I feel like.

I feel sexy today.

But like, me just every day, just ass.

I got all brothers, My brothers that beat my ass.

That's why I move how I move.

I didn't grow up like my brother.

Like, you want to be a stripper?

I shoot that up and just get that off the stage.

He'll tell you, boy, yeah, I had all brothers.

They do not play that.

Absolutely no, they do not play that.

I'm a cute tomboy, too.

I don't know.

Yeah.

Now, my brothers didn't.

It was none of that in their environment.

But my brothers is players, though.

Like, they let me have my.

Especially my twin brother down closest to.

Oh, you know, twin brother, he like a year.

You're older than me, but we look exactly dead on each other.

Okay.

So my oldest brother, he'll go snitch granny, come out on the stairs kissing boys.

The other brother unknown.

Then he be like, daytwan not saying nothing.

He not saying, I'm like, snitch ass bitch.

Why you telling me?

Well, cause my brother was so player.

He was like, she gonna with them regardless.

I'd rather be cool with the Than trying to beat him up.

And like, absolutely.

So my background was just different.

Like, I didn't have that, but it was like, you gonna respect yourself.

So question.

When you did go to foster care, all the siblings, y' all broke?

Yeah.

So we all went.

But they kept me and let them go back home.

No.

Because they felt like.

And I'll be completely transparent, I feel like my mom was a little bit more hard on me.

She has this thing with women, and I feel like that's environmentally because of whatever she went through.

And I can't dive into that or, you know, that's not my journey to figure out.

But all I can do is love her the best way I can through that, you know?

But I feel like she had something going on long before I was even born where she just doesn't align with women in a certain way.

Is that what made you more resentful because everybody else stayed and you.

I was never resentful.

I always tell you, I don't get mad.

I get hurt.

I was more hurt.

Like, why you don't love me?

I always like, damn, my mama don't love me.

I'm going to basketball games, whatever.

She don't show up to my stuff.

Like, then when I became successful, obviously you showing up, I'm like, But in my heart, I don't know if it's genuine or not.

Are you showing up cause I'm me or are you showing up cause you wanna show up?

You know?

So that's where we got like a weird relationship.

I can understand that.

I could definitely relate to that with my own siblings and family.

Damn, sis, I didn't know that.

Just even that makes me look at you in a whole different level.

Like, to walk around feeling that you feel me hurt that your mom would keep the rest of the kids but not you.

Like.

Like she couldn't get me back.

Are you the most successful?

Hell yeah.

Black sheep.

That's how it be.

Yeah.

No, they wouldn't even allow me to go back, though.

The state was like, nah, she had to take too many classes.

Of course I get back with my mom till I was like 15.

Yeah.

Me and my grandmother got into it once I became of age because she was just too strict.

Like, it was just, you gonna end up pregnant and them he on drugs.

My daddy in the hospital right now, he just had a double stroke.

Then he had to have brain surgery a year, so.

But I still love them.

I still, I love both my parents equally.

Cause I feel like your journey may not have been to groom me and mold me into whatever, but you gave me life and that was your sole purpose.

So I gotta love you through that.

Because whatever you going through, that ain't enough for me to decide that's got you and God relationship.

You gotta.

Even if you wasn't a good parent for me, nigga, you gonna still have to answer to God for that.

That's not up to me to rectify.

All I can do is love you the best way I can.

If you need anything, I got you type thing.

If you need food, shelter, you know, transportation, clothes on your back, I feel like I can do that for you.

But I don't hand my father no money because I feel like why would I hand a drug addict or alcoholic money?

Enabling.

Yeah, I don't do that.

So if my dad.

If my dad don't call me for nothing, for real, honestly, I feel like he's embarrassed.

I feel like he embarrassed like he don't want to.

He don't know how I feel about it.

Embarrassed for not being a father or for being a drug addict?

I think it's like a little bit of both.

And he don't know how to accept me as this and to be.

He don't know how to father me at this level because I've exceeded the level of needing fathering.

Girl, now that's some deep.

Then you know they always say when you on drugs, the moment you stop, you go back to whatever age it is you started.

So.

And when you overstand that reality, you know, this nigga don't know how to get no job.

He don't know how to pay no bills and have a household because for this many years you haven't had to.

So that's why they typically relapse because it's like, all right, this is my comfort zone and I don't have to focus on being an active, affluent adult in society when.

When I'm high, cuz everybody allows me to be on the streets.

D cuz I'm high, no responsibility.

So once you know that, you just be like, that's just who they are.

Woo.

You got to start.

Listen, I thought my, this, that God dang on book ain't compared to your story.

Like no, for real.

And then you still so beautiful.

Thank you.

Energy is everything.

Your spirit is just to the sky to move.

Thank so I mean, I literally take my hat off to you, kid.

Like, you are dope as hell.

Thank you.

And don't let nobody tell you different.

And I already know you don't.

I could tell that energy you like.

Girl, screw y. I don't care.

I ain't with you.

But I want to know, if I did have a foster youth sitting over there, what would you tell them to keep them going and stay inspired.

I always tell everybody, just love on yourself and.

And do the best you can for you in your time.

Because I didn't get here by being perfect.

Everybody make mistakes, you know?

And it's like you gotta live and learn through the mistakes and whatever your journey is.

I feel like with women specifically, it's like, never make a decision for a man.

Cause when you young and you in love, you can make one mistake that'll alter your whole reality.

Especially young women.

Like you've been in, did some time for a nigga, then had the wrong baby.

And your whole whatever God had planned for you was now altered because you had to become whatever you walked into.

I didn't want to walk in that.

I thank God every day I didn't get pregnant by the person I was with right before I got sex with.

Cause I'm like, that nigga would have ruined my life.

And that baby probably be off the chance.

Cause you wasn't no good and you was retarded.

Low key.

You ain't got no kids, right?

No.

You want them if my eggs ain't fried and die laid to the side by the time I decide I'm living my life?

No.

I just feel like our generation, specifically, we being raised in a worse economy to be adults.

Like, it's not even financially fiscal to have no damn baby in this society.

You gotta make damn near $5,000 a month just to survive.

Why the I wanna buy diapers, milk, childcare and shit in the midst of that?

No.

So then I gotta decide if I gotta deal with you for the rest of my life.

Like, that's just too much of a decision when I could just be out here up still rather up.

It's a lot more people I'm probably gonna see before a baby.

Am I wrong?

She right.

She ain't tell the scrap kids that.

But she just said in her own life, she rather cut and did what I. I'm trying to think what I had.

I.

Well, all right, all right.

But you know what?

I fixed it.

But I did.

Definitely.

It's like so much stuff I want to Do I want to travel, take trips?

Like when we just went to the snow, I got up in the morning, decided we going to the snow, we went to the snow.

Cuz ain't no way I got to get a babysitter and wait on this person or bring this crying ass.

And then while the miss between skiing, making sure you ain't like that, it's that too.

For real, sis, it's.

No, I mean it's really that.

No, for real, it's real life.

No, for real.

I feel like before I even have a baby, I want like a million or two put up just for the baby.

Cuz I know a night nurse, nanny, all this shit.

I know what I'mma need.

Cause it's like I'm not getting up cause this bitch crying, go do that.

You know what I'm saying?

Do that.

Oh no.

Cause you up every two hours.

Yeah, so it's like, let it be clear.

It's like two hours, that ain't good for the brain.

Especially when you in entertainment.

Because it's like I got to get up and be functionable for thousands of people every day.

Plus something like.

Nah.

So if I got the means and the resources to make it a little bit better on me by the time I decide to bear a child, I'm gonna wait for that.

And see, they talk about people like that, but that's just like me.

I got a house cleaner.

I don't like to clean.

I'd rather pay somebody to do that.

Wash no dishes.

See, but that's, that's, that's you.

But they talk, that ain't lazy.

That's convenient.

Thank you.

If I gotta get up at you 7 in the morning to be somewhere by 9, why the do you think I want to sit down and mop in between?

That I'm not going to do.

I'm gonna have a whole savings account for a cleaning service.

Yeah, same with baby.

Yeah, I wish I had.

White people got that right with slavery when they started that.

I'm telling you one thing they got right.

Clean for me, cook for me.

Yeah, but I, I understand why.

Me too.

Like when you running the damn plantation, you ain't gonna.

I'm not cleaning.

Yeah.

I don't want to.

Well, I hope in the future we do see a little baby running around.

This little, little.

My, my run.

Yeah, I doubt it.

You going, you still young, you're only 30.

That's what everybody say.

But I'm like, are you single?

Yeah, kind of.

No.

What's she got to look over?

So she's not to the world, y'.

All.

She's not.

But she said she is.

She pulling a natically nun on this one.

Like, I'm single, but I ain't.

She.

I mean, I feel like when you ain't married, you ain't single.

I mean, till you married, you're not single.

I mean, you single.

You know what I mean?

Till you married, you single.

I feel that way, but there is commitment.

Nah, I'm committed.

Nah.

I say that I ain't committed.

I ain't out here cheating and disrespecting nobody.

But.

So she ain't single.

I ain't.

I. I be telling her, like, I battle myself.

Do I want to be in a relationship right now?

Because I feel like.

I feel God is about to elevate me to a place I've never been.

And I don't think that's the smartest decision to be with somebody who ain't gonna understand you up here.

Oh, absolutely not.

I feel like it's better for me to date somebody who's in this who will get it more than somebody who's going to have to adjust.

Because that's why a lot of people in entertainment relationships waver.

You be trying to bring people into a life they was never meant to live, and I ain't going to ever understand.

They think they're ready until they.

They get into it and it's too much.

And I feel like my life is already kind of like that.

And I see this person, like, someone shines, like, I don't think you're going to be able to handle that.

Sometimes you kind of feel like they be hating, too.

I don't got that problem.

I dealt with that when I was younger.

Yeah.

But I feel like now I'm a lot more responsible when I'm dating.

I date people who got something to lose.

Back then, I was dating people who had everything to gain.

Can you call that right now and be like, can I get 10?

I can't call nobody like that.

Except for the.

No, I can't call nobody like that.

Shit.

That's crazy you said that.

I was just looking at some little reel or something.

The dude said, if you dating a man or woman and you want to know where they are in their life, you should be able to call and be like, hey, and it ain't that you need the money because you might got your own, but just to see where their life is.

Let me hold 10,000.

If they say they can't, they useless.

That's what that said.

And I said, I said, I guess true.

Because Everybody ain't got 10,000 that's disposable.

But I feel like if a can have resources to help, you know that I feel like 10,000 is a lot to ask for a common person to have at this, just sitting around, dispose to dispose of.

Because I'm like, who?

Who do you know in your day to day life that 8, a 9 to 5, that is a 9 to fiverr that can just throw away 10,000?

That's unrealistic.

I know quite a few people.

That's unrealistic to me.

I feel like if you call A for 500, that's realistic.

Hey, my phone off.

Hey, my water finna come.

That's normal.

Hey, my tire just blew out.

10,000.

What the you finna go do?

Buy a car?

You getting a horse?

Well, what he said was if they can give it to you, you see where they are in their life.

That don't mean that you need it.

Now if you call and ask a Negro for 500, but I just told.

You the economy is so bad, who the hell got 10,000 saved up?

People are just one mistake over being broke.

That's what we call jobs.

When I used to work at UPS, just over broke.

Do you have 10,000 saved up?

Maybe not.

Thank you.

So then it's a lot of people that do.

So to me, if you're up here and you're dating somebody down here, that 10,000 gonna go like this.

Now you're only gonna have five.

But see, even I'm gonna tell you from experience, even if you got fifty thousand, a hundred thousand paid up, like how we sitting down?

Like I ain't been doing nothing for like four, five months.

Your overhead monthly will eat that shit up.

So you got the people don't think about that.

Like people trying to just get by, get by, get by.

And we don't think about the days when you just sit and still and this is just me giving people financial literally in game.

Like you gotta think about the days when you ain't gonna be able to just.

And I learned from my mistakes.

Cause I blow money like it's growing off fucking trees.

I don't give a fuck.

I used to too, but it's like now like I'm getting older.

I done had talks with my management like I maybe need to put this much money in the high yield saving account to where now it's making me money every month and it's paying for my lifestyle.

There you go.

It's like decisions you can make like that, that they don't teach you when you 20.

That'll keep you progressively successful versus you buying a depreciating asset.

Like this stupid ass watch.

This shit ain't gonna make me no money.

Not going to make me no money.

If I had to go get it.

Insured, get it insured.

But still.

But it ain't, it ain't like if I bought the plain gold one.

The plain gold one.

If I bought that one and I took it back to the same jeweler, I'm going get more if not the same.

If I take this, it go down.

You probably pay 35, 45.

Absolutely.

They going to try to get you 10, 15 for this, cuz all these holes is drilled into the goddamn watch for the diamonds.

So what was the point of that?

Like even right now, I wanted a Bentley.

I told her, I said had to sit down with myself cuz I'm getting a big check re.

You know what I'm saying?

I'm like, you don't need no, mainly you about to put out an album, you're gonna be on tour, you ain't gonna be home to drive it.

It's gonna be a depreciating asset.

What are you getting for yourself or to make sure other people you're getting money.

If you get money, just get the money.

They need to hear that one.

So that's the maturity when you, you become growner.

It's like, why the I gotta buy a new chain ring in a car to prove to y' all broke asses that I got money.

Like, period.

That's crazy.

Rich people walk around, they're just looking normal.

And that's driving Priuses.

Thank you.

That's the most.

And New Balances with holes in them, period.

Look at my shoes.

These Balenciaga, they dirty, as ugly as.

So, so what?

They still Balenciaga and you still here.

But I'm saying like this is how.

This is how like rich white people that have shoes on it look dirtier than this.

Been wearing the same suit, khakis, and every Monday they don't switch it.

They got the routine dry cleaning clothes.

And they, they operate in that capacity.

Black people is the only people who move to show other we got something because we so used to not having nothing.

And that's just sad.

That's just, that's, that's the saddest thing.

I think that I'm glad you said that because it's a lot of that in the industry.

I was just talking to Lord Rabb about that.

Everybody's Trying to impress and compete.

Just stay in your lane.

But it's good to get that shit off too, though.

I feel like it's like a balance of Nigga Tree I did.

Cause it's like me, even when I came in the game, I was buying everything I never had.

Cause you remember I was a foster kid.

So it's like you used to having less than people coming in, they getting the new shoes, the cars, whatever, and you can't get nothing.

I didn't get my first car till I was like 22, 23.

Everybody else been driving since middle school, high school, like, you know what I'm saying?

So it's like when you start getting money, it's little things.

Cause I seen Lil Kim and motherfucker Tupac in him.

I always wanted one.

And my manager, for the life of me, he couldn't understand.

He like, you could go buy a brand new fucking Lambo, Whatever this is.

What the fuck you want?

I'm like, hell yeah.

Cause that's what I saw growing up, and that's what I wanted.

So I feel like all those little things, I niggered it up for years.

So now I'm to that point where it's like, you don't have to do that no more.

You already had it.

Yeah, I like that, sister.

I didn't blew millions of dollars being irresponsible.

Now I want to get millions to leave it to maybe a tiny kamaya.

I'm not possibly sure.

Even if it's to my mom or whoever, when I pass on, I gotta make sure that that put up in the ra, high yield, whatever.

So it appreciates not depreciate before I leave.

Like that's what my mindset is, that.

No.

Well, I think that you're gonna do that.

You're already turning your hustle into a legacy.

And I just want to tell you, like I said, I'm extremely proud of you.

Thank you.

You're just a beautiful person.

And I think I know growing up in the foster care system, you probably weren't gifted a lot.

You probably had my panties had holes in them.

And that's.

I didn't know panties could get hoes.

No, I think that's why I banned.

A little strap that coming apart.

You like, God damn, get some new draws.

And I've seen that.

I've seen kids come to my house with nothing.

Porsche, nothing.

Braids, nappy stairs, nothing.

Literally.

I had kid come to my house with no shoes on.

I don't like like that.

That made me sad.

It's very sad.

She'll tell you any kid, any.

That's that trauma too, though.

She'll tell you any kid I see, if I see them without.

I don't give a.

If I go broke, I do it.

I don't even have to know the kid.

I'd be like, hey, get him this.

If it's a homeless person.

She got mad at me one day.

She like, why you giving money?

Because I'm like, we're not here to judge.

God didn't put us here.

He put us there to bless each other.

So whatever you do with this 20, that's your fucking decision.

But God gave me enough to help you, so I'm gonna give it to you.

That's how I operate still.

Like, it's just my heart.

I don't know.

My hot part, my heart posture don't allow me to see somebody going without and not help.

So I feel like that's what keeps me blessed a lot of the times.

Could be times, sometimes the seasons, I'd be like, damn, it's a little tight.

But I feel like God always gonna look through because of my heart, period.

He made me one of the toughest soldiers in the war.

Cause he like, you could walk through that fucking fire and not burn.

This bitch gonna catch on fire.

Cause she lit with gasoline.

You ain't cut like that.

You gonna make it through that war every time.

So I know that.

And I keep my heart in that energy.

So even when people doing me wrong, whatever, I'm like, that's not you.

That's your trauma.

That's your pain bleeding out on me.

And I'm not gonna allow it.

That's my choice.

I can stick around and try to help you, but why would I touch you when you dark and make myself dirty?

That's crazy.

I like that.

So I'll be trying to just keep going.

Because a lot of people just they up.

This world is.

It's easier to be up, though.

You know how hard it is to heal or do right.

Being healed.

Healing takes accountability.

Everybody want to be a victim.

Nobody wants to be as a survivor.

Nobody wants to be the survivor.

Everybody wants to be the victim.

So it's like when you learn you survived it and stop victimizing yourself, that's when you start healing.

So many people just want to be like, because I had to go through this and I this.

You did that to me.

But what did you do for yourself to get out of it?

Okay, so why are you still complaining about what happened?

That's like being with a teen ass.

You chose to stay.

You had every option to leave.

So why are you victimizing yourself for being in something you choosing to do?

You're gonna survive this and leave.

Are you gonna stay and then try.

To make us out to be the bad guy because we called yourself own it.

But see, that's why you got to be wise enough sometimes to not deal with those people.

I let my friends make mistakes in there afterwards.

I'd be like, see, I ain't here to judge you through you.

I'm just gonna love you through it.

I'm just love you through it.

I'm gonna told you something.

That's what you want to do it.

We both.

But we both know where it's going.

Have your fun.

You know what I'm saying?

And don't get mad.

Sometimes some is a moment.

Sometimes bad decisions are part of your girl.

You gotta up because it's like I have to go through that.

Absolutely.

If I didn't, I wouldn't be as wise as I am.

I had to take that lesson and turn it into a blessing.

Like absolutely every l ain't a loss.

And people be thinking it is.

It's like, no, you have to up right there.

Like I'd say that even with me lessons.

You know what I mean?

And blessings at the same time.

That should a few up for real people be stuck in the middle.

Well, I got something for you for sure.

I know y' all if you've been watching, you know this is what I do with my guest.

But I got you something in particularly special something.

What the was going on that I didn't know about.

Look under your seat for me, boo.

And everybody else get the same one.

But I I always give little special.

I feel like you know you a gift so you need a gift.

Oh, what the oh, you player.

That's hard.

Is that player.

And she got so much.

She get the multicolor.

Nobody on the show has got multiple color.

Okay.

Give you a hug.

That is so nice.

And I want you to also get that book I got.

I love being in the house.

I'mma wear this outfit.

Check.

Yes.

I think you deserve the most.

Thank you so much.

Never gave no one that.

So I was like, I'm going to give my ladies multicolor.

Cuz we just come in multi different colors.

That was so sweet.

Thank you.

And then I gave you a copy of my book too.

I seen that in there.

Sign it period.

So read it.

I read books though.

I'm really going to read it.

See, and I ain't a reader, but.

I did read my.

No, I read.

I hate reading.

I ain't going.

I feel like that's why I'm so smart.

I like reading.

Well, listen, it's a different world when you read.

So.

Enjoyed you on the show.

Thank you for coming to turning Hustle into a Legacy, y'.