In this engaging episode of The One Small Change Podcast, host Yvonne McCoy sits down with Jill Burk to discuss the importance of authentic connections in the world of entrepreneurship. Jill shares her journey from running a mobile massage practice to helping entrepreneurs create genuine relationships with their clients. Together, they explore the value of being authentic, the significance of building lasting relationships beyond transactions, and how small tweaks can lead to monumental transformations in personal and professional growth.

Guest Bio: Jill Burk is a seasoned entrepreneur with a passion for connecting people. Having spent years in the mobile massage industry, Jill witnessed the challenges of building authentic client relationships firsthand. With a shift in focus, she now dedicates her time to guiding business owners on how to foster meaningful connections, whether through magazines, podcasts, or personal interactions. Jill is also an advocate for approaching life with curiosity and authenticity.

5 Key Points Discussed with Timestamps:

1. [00:00:52] Jill's Transition - From running a mobile massage practice to helping entrepreneurs connect authentically with clients.
2. [00:02:58] Importance of Community - Yvonne and Jill discuss the impact of community and connection on entrepreneurial success.
3. [00:04:57] Authentic Conversations - Jill elaborates on creating meaningful conversations that extend beyond transactional interactions.
4. [00:11:29] Finding Your Unique Style - The speakers emphasize discovering personal methods of connection that resonate with individual personalities.
5. [00:16:03] Being Curious vs. Judgmental - Yvonne describes the mindset shift from judgment to curiosity in assessing relationships and business ideas.

Main Quote by the Guest: "The most beautiful things are not perfect."

Guest Website Links:

Register for Jill's Free Webinar ...

https://ultimatecontent.net/?event=IiAgOM2BbMl&ac=OneSmallChange&p=1

Here are Jill's giveaways.

https://retreatstoday.org/dont-bore-me?am_id=yvonne9788

Welcome to the one small change. And as always, I'm

thrilled to be with you on your journey of exploration. I

can't talk. No coffee. Exploration and transformation with

you. So one of the things you know, besides the fact that I'm your host,

Yvonne McCoy, is that this is live, and so there may be

bloopers. But I bring almost 30 years

of entrepreneurial experience and a passion for discovering

growth through the process of seemingly small change.

And I wanna thank you again for joining me. I hope that this is gonna

help you on your entrepreneurial journey. And this week, we are

talking with another amazing guest, Jill

Burke. Jill. You, Yvonne.

Thank you for taking the time to be here. So tell my

audience what it is you do and why you do it.

Oh, what do I do? I connect people. So I was I've

been an entrepreneur for a very long time, and and this year was a

switch up year for me because I watched

myself and other people struggle so hard trying to

connect to their clients and their audience in

a in an authentic and deep way even when they didn't see

them all the time. I ran a mobile massage practice, so my

therapist saw my clients, but I didn't necessarily see them. And I

just found that it like, that connection, that talking to people.

Having having clients be interested and loyal to the

business over and above their interest in loyalty to

their actual therapist was really a struggle. And

so about a year ago, I switched up my life, and now I work with

a company that helps people create magazines,

but that's not all I do. I have a couple of podcasts.

I talk to people like you. I

I just connect with everybody I can connect with because

that is so hard to do as a business

owner. You get so overwhelmed with the day to

day that you lose the connection with the people that you

really need in order to thrive. So I the

the thing that that I think that I wanna point out from what you said

is I think it is one of the biggest mistakes entrepreneurs

make, and that is, you know,

I'm gonna do this. I know how to do this on my own.

And that was a big mistake that I made. If I had gone into

community and connection when I first started, I

can't believe what a difference it would have made in my journey. Because first of

all, you don't have to make the same mistakes that somebody else made. Do you

know? And you don't have to feel lonely when you, you know, when you don't

You don't have to feel lonely. When you scrape

yourself off the ground. Or when you've accomplished

something amazing. Or when your family says, I don't wanna

hear this anymore. Yeah.

Yeah. So so when you may

decided to make this change, what what are some of the things you so

here's the other thing I think, is that we think,

as entrepreneurs, a lot about the sale

and not about the continuing relationship. Right?

And I think people need to be they have an an

expectation that this is what they're gonna get. But what

keeps them there, I think, is the delight,

the extra thing that shows up, the message,

the text, the postcard, the the something that

says, you're more to me than what, you know, your weekly visit or

whatever. Yeah.

Yeah. And and in this

time that we're in, I think people are particularly isolated and lonely.

It's very easy to get stuck on your phone or on Facebook or

whatever and and miss some of the more genuine connections

that come from a conversation that doesn't necessarily have to be face to

face. But but is a conversation where 2 people are

looking at each other and and having a conversation

via Zoom or in the living room over a drink.

And as as business owners

talking to our clients, sometimes we we miss that because so

much of those interactions are transactional,

And we forget that the most important thing we can

give any of our clients, any of our staff, any of

our colleagues is making them feel important,

making them feel beautiful and interesting and

fantastic. And when you can do that, when you

can make somebody feel really fantastic, when you've when when you can

hardly wait to talk to me, when I call you up and I say, Yvonne,

I'm in Philadelphia. Let's go for a drink. And you go, oh, that's so grand.

Yeah. That's like, when we can do that,

and and and figuring out an authentic way to do that as a

business owner is is tricky

and time and can be time consuming because you do get kinda

bogged into conversations sometimes that you may not have time for. But

if you can do that a little bit every day, what a what a gift

you're giving, not just to yourself and the people that are

are part of your business, however that might be, but just

to the world in general. When you make people feel important, that's empowering.

And I think, you know, that fits into, you know, what

I do about attracting clients using your unique power because

the way you connect may be totally different than the way that I

connect. Right? Yeah. And so, you know, probably

the most important question that I had a coach ask

me once is she said she was like, you you

know, let's let's get you on social media. And I was like and at the

time, I was like, I don't wanna show my plate. I'm not gonna dance, you

know, to do these things. She said, okay. Well, tell me, what is

something that you've done in your business that you've done, you know,

consistently over a long period of time? And I said, I

had a blog talk radio show for 3 years. And she

said, so you like to speak? And I'm like, yeah.

She goes, then that's what we're gonna do. That's what because that's what you

like to do. That's you. Right? So if you

are if you are trying to help people find ways to be

authentic, what are some of the things that you ask them

or, you know, ways that they can do that?

Well, I like I like to start with really inappropriate questions.

Like like, the most like right? Don't talk to me

about the weather. Talk to me about what you really feel about your husband at

this moment. Talk to me about one thing that really embarrassed you

or made you happy this week.

Tell me what you really think about war. Like, I I ask questions

because I travel a lot. And and so you go to

places, and we were in Serbia this summer, and I said to I I asked

people how they felt about Bosnia, how they felt about

Russia and Putin, and I just like to find out what people are

feeling a little bit underneath the surface and go

on go with that. It's really easy to I mean, it's

it's really easy and important to give a a superficial compliment.

Right? Like like, truthfully, you look fantastic in blue.

Blue is a great color for your sweater. It's a great color for your background.

That's a that's a truth. It's whatever, but

it's still a superficial whatever. It's not gonna cause us might make you

feel good for a moment, but it's not gonna cause us to connect.

Whereas if, you know, we talk about something deeper parenting

stuff, like the fact that you give one of your kids a Christmas present every

day, like, those kind of conversations that deepen the

connection Especially when my kid is 50.

That's smart. Yes.

Listen. They're always our kids. They're always our kids.

I try not to give my kids, like, I try not to give my kids

anything that they can't eat because everybody's got so much stuff

that, you know, whatever. But those are the

things that that that make us feel seen also as

more than just a passerby in each other's lives

when we get into things like that. Well, you know, one of the things

that I think I discovered

was that for a really long time, I

kind of held myself in, both in my personal and my

private you know, personal and professional business. It was

like, you know, don't rock the boat. Don't whatever.

And so since I have since I have gotten to the point

where this is why nobody knows me. Right?

Yeah. And and I'm not sharing anything that that's

deeper. Right? I'm not Just playing it

safe. Right. Well and and and part of it part of it, I

you know, if if you've heard me do my talk, part of it

has to be has to do with how we were raised. I

mean, our parents gave us limiting beliefs that fit

us as we were smaller to keep us safe because as as

toddlers and young children, we will do anything. And it's a it's a

miracle that we survive childhood. Right? We can't do up to our

own. But those are not the same the same beliefs that

serve us as adults, especially not as entrepreneurs.

Right? And so not everybody you don't

need to be everybody's friend. Not everybody is your client.

Right. Yeah. So why pick up a client that's

not the kind of client that you want? Because you will spend more energy

trying to fit into that relationship as opposed to

the people that when you see them and you

talk to them, you have instant sparks. You

know? I mean so for instance, like, a trigger for me are dogs.

You know? I come from I come from a long line of dog fit you

know, families, and, you know, dogs are a big thing in our family.

And so anybody who's got a dog and goes, oh, I'm sorry. My dog barked.

I'm like, don't even worry about it. If you see me do like this, it

means my dog is going under my chest. It's like the earthquake

effect. And so, you know, you don't have to pretend to

be something that you're not. So how does that affect us in terms of,

you were saying something about magazines and, you know, how you

connect people. And so how does that being yourself and stop playing

it safe? Actually actually, being

yourself is being safe because you don't have to worry about who you were with

each person. You can you know? It's not it's kinda like you don't have to

keep up with the lie. And also, there is when you

get to a point where you realize not everyone

has to like you,

and it's okay. It it it's not a statement about you.

It is just not. It is it is

whatever lens they're looking through, wherever their life is at,

and sometimes we're just not good fits for people. Mhmm.

But I have met people, and they just vibrate wrong. It's not that they're

a bad person. It's not that I can say specifically what

I why I wouldn't choose to have them for coffee, but

they vibrate wrong. They're just not a real good fit for

whatever is going on. That's great because you

cannot be friends with everybody. I have a friend who's got 9 brothers and sisters.

And he says to me, don't worry about it, Jill. You can't like everyone.

I'm trying to keep up with 9 brothers and sisters. He's like, you just don't.

Well, you know, we see each other when we see each other, and I don't

you don't have to like everyone. I'm like, but that you

I mean, I just put a caveat on that. You do have to like your

brothers and sisters in my world, but You you you

you love them, but that doesn't mean you like them. And it doesn't mean

that everybody has to have space in your living room.

Yeah. Well, you know, it's interesting. I think part and I think

part of the problem is that we don't take the time to figure

out what it is that we do like. I mean, I was thinking about

this the other day. I had 2 connection calls.

Both of them, the other person did the

majority of talking almost to the point that I couldn't interject,

and yet the feeling was totally different. 1 was totally

transactional. You know, it was like it was a prepared script,

and she was, you know, she was doing her thing. And and and she was

very generous in her offers and stuff like that, you know,

and ways that we could connect. But it was very

practiced. Do you know what I mean? It felt like it didn't have any, you

know, she would have given this to me. She would have given this to anybody

who was on the other person was

talked in a totally un reined in way that

had me laughing hysterically. Do you know? I mean, even when

I said, Wait, slow down, stop. This is not what we're supposed to be talking

about. We were having such a good time. And so, you know,

afterwards it was like, Okay, both of these people

were, like, just talking, talking to why did one really, you know,

resonate with me and the other one didn't? And so I think you have to

take the time to find out what it is that you're looking

for. You know? And and here's the thing. Not everyone can be

funny. I mean, you and I can, clearly,

but not everybody can be funny. Right? So you so you need to

know kind of who you are well enough that you know what

the cadence of a good conversation with you is, what a good

partner for you is in a business or conversation or whatever you're gonna

do so that you can make those decisions.

Well, I think and the other part here's my caveat.

My caveat is as you're growing, you're gonna

be uncomfortable. And so my rule

of thumb is, you know, I always give somebody a

second chance. You know? I don't because I never know what

kind of mood they're in and what kind of mood I was in. Right? And

it's like, let me just make sure that I made the right decision,

right, about what's going on. I mean, that's me. Well

and I I think also we kinda rotate through

places as well. And unless somebody's really

a horrible person, which I don't

know, there's probably 1 out of every 1,000 people you meet in your life that's

a horrible person. But every once in a while you meet someone

and they're just not someone that's that's

energetically safe for you, I think it's fine to put those people off

to a place where you just know that that's never there's gonna

have to be some sort of transformation for that to happen.

Otherwise, as we go through as we go through life and as we meet

people or whatever, it's somebody once said to

me, every burnt bridge you burn is a luxury. So so

we we get luxurious things. We we get to do things that are

just for for the fun or the joy of it. But to burn a

bridge or to say I'm never gonna speak to that person again is

is probably not a good fit for you or for them. And

even if they're not somebody you wanna have for your dinner at your dinner table,

they may still be somebody you wanna buy insurance from or somebody that your

daughter needs to to use to get her car

fixed or something. Who knows? Right. So

I I I think I think what we're saying is it's

simple, but it's not easy. Do you know?

Well, I think Most people have some merit. Right.

And I think, you know, even if they don't have merit with you, they potentially

have merit with other people. And the other thing is that

you're constantly changing. So somebody who's not your cup of tea

now, 3 years from now, may very well be your cup of

tea, you know, because they've changed and you've changed. That's why I said, I always

feel like you have to give somebody a second chance. The other thing that has

made a huge difference for me in terms of

mindset and how I I look at people,

is kind of in this positive thinking kinda idea is, am I

being curious, or am I being judgmental? And I have to say,

I come from a very I'm I'm a left to my my rathers,

I'm a very type a person. You know? My my daughter spent

years saying to me, mom, when I call you and I'm sick, don't tell me

ask me what did you take for that. You're supposed you're supposed to

say, honey, I'm sorry you're sick. You know, are you feeling

better? Is there something I can do for you? Because I'm

like, you got a problem. Fix it. I mean, that's you know, if you

if you're not trying to fix it, what am I gonna do for you? You

know what I mean? That was kinda so this this has been an incredible shift

for me, to be like the shift? Yes.

I do very much. I like it very much. And and

you get, like, a lot of different things. The other thing is what I realized

is, you know, is you start to realize that a lot of different

things work for other people that don't work for you, but that doesn't mean that

they're bad and you have to do it your way. So that you know, I

mean, one of the one of the major shifts that that has happened in

business because of that is, you know, I used to

have a fairly defined thing

about what could be a good business. Right?

And now I'm like, I've seen some business ideas that in

my prior life I'd go, there is no way you can make money at this.

But they are. You know? And so so now when I talk to

somebody, you know, the first thing I, you know, I, you know, I dive in.

I go, tell me more about that. Tell me what you're thinking. What is your

thought? How do you, you know? And, you know, just kind of

explore, and it helps them to clarify as well.

And so that I mean, I we were in a meeting, and there was somebody

in the meeting that was just really disruptive.

You know? Because I was trying to you know? And we were on Zoom, and

this is, like, you know, during COVID. And I was like

afterwards, I was like, what just happened? And who does he

think he is? And I'm like, okay.

I'm gonna try this curiosity thing. You know? And as I

started saying, okay. Why was he here? What was he talking

about? Why was he invited? You know, that kind of stuff. It suddenly dawned

on me that his ideas were not appropriate

because we hadn't defined what our problem was.

We didn't know what our what we were trying to solve for, and so

he was just throwing stuff out, you know, what he knew. And I was

like, you know what? When we figure out what it is we need,

he actually is probably a good person for this. Do you

know? He's got energy. He's young. He's got all this

tech stuff. We just need to figure out what it is we need, you

know? But that was a real eye opener for me.

Yeah. Yeah. So tell me tell me,

first, let's talk about your gift because I wanna make sure everybody knows about the

gift. Okay. So it's it's 10 ways

to be fascinating. I like

that. Yeah. I, as we were talking and I was thinking about kinda

who we were gonna talk to in this, fascination is

the key of of communication to me. If you're interesting

and you're interested, which is if

there's one and not the other, it's a little bit hard to have a conversation.

You have a you have a speech, but you don't have a

conversation. So if you're interested and you're interesting,

and then what else does it take to be fascinating? And when you're fascinating,

people are attracted to your business. They'll come on your podcast.

They'll do things that you that you want them to do. They'll

let you do things for them because they're they're interested in having you

in their circle. So my free gift is how to be

fascinating, and then we have a little course behind that. But, really, if

you if you just download the free gift, you're gonna you're gonna be

10 steps ahead going into next year. So so that makes it that makes

it really easy in terms of what actionable steps you can take.

Download the course and pick out a couple of ways to be fascinating. And

and and, again, not every one of them will fit you.

Right. I mean, I was I was You might already do 3 out of the

10. Like, you might already have them. Yeah. It's funny

because apparently this month, my my catchphrase is you're only a tweak

away. Flipping love it. Do you know

the name of my workshop was using your

unique power to attract your best clients. Right?

I was like, it's not quite right. And so I flipped it and

said, attract your best clients

using your unique power because that's what people want is they want and

and I got a message on LinkedIn where somebody signed up and said, how

could I not go to this workshop? I'm like, a tweak away. Right?

So now I'm waiting on something to make me fascinating.

You know? Yeah. Title fascinating, but I'm not salesy. So I don't like

that, you know, find the magic or, you know,

whatever. That's not me. I'm, you know, I'm a process person. So I wanna you

know? So I'm looking at words like effortlessly. You know, that kind

of word of 2024 was ease.

Ease. Ease is a good word. I like ease. Yeah. So so aside

from downloading and and and and and patting yourself on the back for the

things you are already doing, picking up some things that

picking up some things that you're not doing. Right?

What would be the other thing? You know, as part of

that, I'll have a link. You can you can give me a call or schedule

some time with me. I'd love to talk to you about how you're gonna communicate

with your with your audience this year and whether or not there's a way

that that I can either give you some insight in how you might do that

better or connect you with someone who can help or talk about

some how a magazine or or a podcast would would fit

in for you. And so, first of all,

all that information is gonna be in the notes. This is a generous

offer. And I think, you know, one of the things that I say to

people is

whatever you're doing to connect, you need to do it consistently so

people know what to expect and they know

where to find you. If every day you decide you're gonna do something

different, totally different than you've ever done before, you know, you go with your

gut, then unless your clients are psychic, it's like you've got a a

mobile store that you keep moving around and sell different

things. They'll never know where to find you. They'll never know what you're

selling. But nobody can refer you. That takes.

I'm sorry. Say that again? That takes a lot of energy too. Yeah.

But nobody can refer you either, and referrals are like gold.

They're the thing. You know? So alright. Here's

here's my my my question. When was the last time you did something new for

the first time? Oh, let me tell you what I did this week, Yvonne. My

dishwasher stopped working. I took it apart,

did the little hoses underneath the thing, unplugged it, and

put it back together again. That is different.

Right? But let me tell you. I am not like,

I'm I'm moderately handy, but I'm not, like,

build a new dishwasher handy. It was fantastic,

and I'm very proud of myself. Well, I'm amazed that

I'm amazed that you did it because, you know, that's not that's

not my shtick at all. Right? That's funny. Yep.

So alright. I you know, I think that we could probably talk

forever on this because we have a lot of things the same and, you know,

yet we have enough of a a difference that we can sign a different

perspective on it. If you guys do not take

this free gift and a chance to talk to Jill, you're really

shortchanging yourself. And and my other my other new

statement is, if you're afraid to talk to me, if you're

afraid to talk to Jill, how are you gonna talk to your clients?

I think I think it's it's one of those things where, you know, we

always feel like we're not ready. I I what am

I gonna talk about? But the thing is,

just talking about your business is gonna make you better. The more

people you talk about with your business, the better you're gonna be at letting

people know what you do. So consistency, I think, makes

it easier, and it makes you more you have more bandwidth

to be fascinating. You do. Yeah.

Okay. So our time is up. So

I have to I have to close this out. So as a first

step, I want people to subscribe, share, and engage in the

podcast on social media. One of the reasons that I do this

is so I want you to meet other people that can supercharge your business through

connection. And it's my way of trying to build a vibrant

community and help you fuel your quest for growth and impact. So I

hope you will join me for the One Small Change and see some of the

other podcasts that are out there and see that even the smallest

shift, like I said, a tweak, can yield monumental transformations.

And if you haven't listened to the first episode to see what I'm about, you

should do that. So what are your last words? What are your words of wisdom

to take away? The most beautiful things

are not perfect. I like

it. I like it a lot. And by

being not perfect, it makes it unique. It's unique.

It's the pressure's off. It can just be

there in the world being beautiful. And that's true for us.

It's true for our businesses, and it's true for our relationships. The

most beautiful things in life are not perfect. Fantastic.

Okay, guys. Now we really have to end. So, as I

said earlier, remember the change is simple, but it's not always easy.

And it requires resilience and courage and a willingness

to step out of your comfort zone, which can sometimes be very messy.

So join me again on the next small change, the one small change,

and I will see you next time. So until then, please

stay curious. Bye.