Hey friends. Are you stuck? 

Afraid to open your practice, get a job, go to a networking meeting, learn to play pickle ball, create an instagram reel?

Are you afraid of what your classmates, relatives, future patients, former teachers and your neighbor Bob think of you?

Think about it. If everyone were perfect:

What would comedians talk about?

Would you actually have a job or career?

And here is a tragedy I am not sure I could have gotten thru medical school without. 

The TV show, The Big Bang Theory would never have made it. I mean, this is a whole 13 year run of a show literally based on the imperfections of ALL of its characters. 

Not being perfect makes you interesting.

But before I continue I want you to know that I hear you. And I see you. Because i am you. I can make light of being a perfectionist and talk about how uninterested people really are about what you are doing. That it’s fine and you matter and that you are unique and perfect in all of your imperfections. But that doesn’t really get us to the root of the problem does it?

today’s episode

• I uncover the root of perfectionism.
• Talk about 6 ways to be an imperfect entrepreneur.
• Share 8 steps to create a “whole” practice, not a “perfect” one.

resources

• The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma
• Is perfectionism a trauma response? Blog article on caminorecovery.com
• Jane Electronic Medical Records. Use this link to get your first month free!
• Follow AcuSprout on Instagram and Facebook

Explore What Jane Has To Offer!!!

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Mentioned in this episode:

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Hey, AKI Sprouts.

Welcome back to the show.

Today is a Mindset Monday episode, and we're gonna be talking about

how to manage your perfectionism.

Oh boy, . So, um, I, was on a call a couple weeks ago.

I was on a call with two different new practitioners.

Um, and there is a common theme between both of them, uh, but one

of them specifically asked me, can you, can you talk about, how to

navigate the next step, without caring so much about what everybody

else thinks about what he's doing?

And everybody else actually meant fellow classmates.

, and this makes me sad, but also like, Hmm, I totally understand.

I really understand this because I wanted to do this podcast for an entire year

before I ever started it, and I was so afraid of what my fellow classmates

would think about me doing a podcast

There's actually Dr.

Seuss quote about this, and it is Be who you are and say what you feel.

Because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.

So, It's just not that easy though, is it?

It's just not that easy.

It's not that easy for a multitude of reasons.

And um, the second person that I spoke with was a classmate of mine who has had.

Many, many challenges in starting her practice.

And I spoke with her about what was next and what she was doing next, and offering

some help and thoughts and, uh, wisdom if I have that . And, um, uh, but once again,

one of that, the stopping factors is this, um, Inability to leap the chasm between

caring what, uh, matters most to you or finding what matters most to you and not

caring what other people think, um, and having the confidence to do such a thing.

And so today I'm going to be talking about that quite extensively.

We're gonna talk a little bit about, the root of, perfectionism and.

We're gonna get real about that because the root is, is, uh,

You know, the root is important.

, it's our medicine.

So what is the root of this perfectionism?

And can you be perfectionist and still create a peaceful, successful, happy life?

Uh, and what does that look like?

So I'm gonna cover that.

We're gonna go a little bit into the root of perfectionism, and then I'm

gonna give you eight tools to embrace your perfection as an entrepreneur.

and then I wanna talk a little bit about what I've done because so many

times you guys comment on, um, how I seem to be a real person, . And

so I want to share, my thoughts.

of how to overcome this.

The ways that I have done it and how to create a practice that

isn't perfect, but it's whole because I think that's the answer.

I don't think that you create a practice that's perfect.

I don't think that you need to look perfect in front of your peers.

I think you need to focus on a practice that's whole.

But I wanna just pause for a second cuz this is sort of a silly thought, but

it's so important If, if the world were perfect, there would never have been a Big

Bang Theory TV show that lasted so long.

That was so amazing.

that show was literally based on everybody's imperfections and how they

managed to live and have relationships and have a, a super successful

careers and how awkward they were in some places, yet genius in others.

And I promise you, if you embrace who you are instead of trying to be

perfect, you too could be Sheldon Cooper

Before I continue, I want you to know that I hear you and I see you

because I am you and I can make light of being a perfectionist and

talk about how uninterested people really are about what you're doing.

Cuz truthfully, people really are uninterested.

And that it's fine and that you matter and that you are unique and

perfect in all of your imperfections.

But that doesn't really get us to the root of the problem, does it?

Because the root of the problem started a long ass time ago.

I wanna bring some light to some things that you may not have considered.

Hopefully many of you are aware of this, but if you aren't,

then I hope this helps.

So, I know why I'm a perfectionist or why I have perfectionistic tendencies.

I know that my tendencies come from childhood abuse and neglect.

I know that.

that created a cascade of trying to be perfect so that I could be loved, trying

to be perfect so that I could manage the emotions in the room trying to be

perfect so that mm, so that somebody would love me trying to be perfect so

that, um, so that, so that, so that, so that as a defense mechanism, like for

me, it has always been, um, a skill to manage my social situations because I

still am challenged by social situations.

Um, I hide it well.

I, I shapeshift really well and I also really.

. I mean, it's not like I don't enjoy my life.

I enjoy my life.

It's just that I'm highly uncomfortable in a lot of situations because of

adverse childhood events that I'm always trying to manage some level

of anxiety or, um, some level of overload, uh, some level of low self.

But I will tell you this, I have been working on this for many, many years

and it is much, much, much, much better.

Uh, obviously I'm doing a podcast where people can judge me all they want all day

long . Okay, so let's talk about this.

Let's talk about this for a.

And I'm quoting this, I'm actually pulling this from a website that

had way better verbiage than I could possibly create for you.

So, um, this comes from a website called camino recovery.com

and it's one of their blogs.

And, um, I'm just gonna talk a little bit about adverse

childhood events and perfection.

. So the common root of perfectionism, uh, perfectionism is especially prevalent in

those of us who have experienced childhood trauma, particularly if a child's parents

or caregivers withheld love or affection.

And in many cases, people exposed to prolonged trauma often used.

Perfectionism as a coping mechanism.

And I did this and I do this, and I, I, um, I'm aware of it, so I'm

always working on it, but even when I was in school, uh, it was really

hard for me to be in classrooms with that many people all the time.

I was always overloaded and one of my coping mechanisms was to hold

myself up and study myself to death.

Which I think, um, share I'll, uh, many of us did.

So, um, studies show that perfectionism might also be a defense mechanism

that trauma survivors use to protect themselves against the agony of being

perceived as a failure or being wrong.

. I can also comment to that because when I was in school, I hid behind

every extrovert in the classroom so that if we were in a group, I didn't

have to talk or I could talk in the group, but I didn't have to be the

spokesperson or that I didn't have to be wrong in front of the whole class.

That that has always been a huge fear of mine.

It doesn't make sense, but that's part of the drama.

That's part of the, the.

Traumatic experiences can negatively alter an individual's self-perception,

often leading to self-judgment.

And the ju and honestly, truthfully too the judgment of others as

well as social isolation, stress, anxiety, and negative self-talk.

And I think that if you're listening still , then understanding this,

and you're kind of seeing this in yourself too, like, um, we sort of use.

perfectionism as a shield, and we often judge others and it

may be very silently, harshly.

immensely, and that's something that I wanna bring to your attention

too, as, as a perfectionist.

Pay attention to how you self think or pay attention to how you think about others.

If somebody walks by, do you mentally criticize their shoes or the way

they walk or anything about them?

Because when you do that to other people, you're probably doing that

to yourself a hundred times over.

And so it's, it's one of those things that you have to shift.

uh, in order to love yourself more, uh, because you can't, you can't have judgment

about other people rhetoric like that in your head and not have it about yourself.

So one of the best ways to start changing that process, at least it has been for me.

And the reason I did that was because that just is a great way to isolate and keep

people away from me and keep me away from them because, Then I couldn't get hurt or

then I could never disappoint somebody.

Um, but changing that is, is really, uh, one of the things you have

to do is really start talking to yourself kindly and catching the

times that you catch yourself.

Not talking to yourself kindly and practicing what I call gentle medicine,

soft slow medicine, which is meditation.

But we're gonna get into that in a few minutes.

But anyway, uh, think about how, how you perceive other people,

because that's often a reflection of how you perceive yourself.

Often.

If they think they can do everything right, then maybe the child won't get

blamed for everything else in the future.

Perfectionism and perfectionistic traits are learned behaviors, meaning

that children who grew up with driven goal oriented parents or caregivers

who excessively praised children for achievements rather than for

any progress or efforts, are likely to model this behavior themselves.

So if you didn't.

Quote, adverse childhood events growing up, but you still have this

tendency to be a perfectionist.

Take a look at this possibility, cuz I see this in a couple of my

friends as well, whose parents were doctors, um, or high achieving

lawyers or just super achievers who.

Excelling and getting straight A's and doing all of the things.

Being an all-star athlete, all of the things combined, all of these things, a

musician, all of these lessons, everything just created while their parents were

trying to give them everything that the quote they didn't have, or, you

know, just the best life Sometimes that driven culture, that culture of.

Just being so great at everything was just created that perfectionistic

voice in in your head perhaps.

Since perfectionism is essentially the result of a person trying to live up to

unrealistic expectations and internal ideals, such responses are often motivated

by fear, uncertainty, low self-esteem, and excessive worry over how others perceive.

, the above can cause intense anxiety, disparagement and

difficulty coping with the symptoms.

So again, I think, I feel like I've thrown myself into this enough for

me to say to you that if any of that resonated with you, I hear you.

I see you, I care, I feel for you.

Um, there are lots of ways to.

Um, start the healing process around this.

You just graduated from a place where it's acceptable and actually probably

the norm to super achieve, to get straight A's, to jump through the

hoops, to try to be impressive, to fit into the, the whatever social norm.

Um, it's now time to continue to do great work, but you need to do

great work at a speed where you're accomplishing what you want to accomplish.

in layers.

It's a different process.

This process of building this next stage of your life is a completely different

process than studying and getting straight A's and studying and getting straight A's.

The process now is more like painting a watercolor picture.

You do a very light drawing in pencil.

and then cuz then you know where you're gonna go next, right?

And then you come in with your first layer of colors and they're just light

and they're barely there and it's sort of unseeable, but it's as if, if it's okay

for other people to watch you do this because that first layer's not perfect.

The next layer's not perfect.

Nothing looks perfect until the end, and that can take a long time.

So don't.

Perfection.

What am I trying to say?

What I'm trying to say is progress over perfection, but I'm gonna

get into that in a minute.

I just wanna say one last thing before I move on from talking

about the root of perfectionism.

One of the best books that I've read, um, about this is, is the Body Keeps

the Score by Bessel VanDerKolk, and that'll be in the show notes and it

just starts talking about the polyvagal theory and how trauma can affect our

lives, but also it gives hope in.

Showing us ways, even just through breathing exercises, that we can activate

the vagus nerve to get through this attitude of perfectionism and adverse

childhood events or the results or the outcome currently that we're living

with of adverse childhood events.

So I highly encourage you to check that book out and start your healing journey.

Now that we know the root.

Let's take a look at the branches because the, the whole thing, the, the

whole truth is you're gonna have to work on , the root of this challenge, right?

You're gonna have to do some healing, but you still have to move forward and,

and build this next stage of your life.

So whatever that looks like for you, whatever, wherever you wanna go next.

Um, I have six tips with how to embrace imperfection as an entrepreneur.

So number one, you actually have to show up and try things that

are out of your comfort zone.

There is.

No way around this.

There is absolutely no way around this.

I am sure that going to work for somebody is probably a little uncomfortable.

Starting to practice acupuncture is uncomfortable, or practicing

our medicine is uncomfortable because you're, you're new.

There are gonna be so many things that are uncomfortable, so I just

wanna say, Eventually it won't be.

Remember that . Remember that Eventually you'll find your groove.

But do understand that discomfort is part of this next process.

So number two, embrace the suck.

I am not kidding.

You are not going to be good at most of the things that you are trying

because you are still learning.

And this is mostly focused on starting a new practice and all of the things that

come along with starting a new practice.

If that's your choice, um, I.

You may have to build a website, start social media, do some networking, get

out there and do a lot of things that are outside of your comfort zone.

And this goes to this, this conversation I had with this.

This person, he was afraid he's ready to start his practice, but he was

afraid about what people would think.

And I think that what that looked like was what people will think about him

starting a practice, what people will think about them, like what his classmates

are gonna think about his website.

and I just say embrace the sock.

Honestly, embrace it.

You're, like I said before this, this goes down in layers and you just

keep working at all of these things.

But if you don't ever start, you will never, ever get there.

You have to start.

. Number three, laugh at yourself.

Laugh at yourself for a quick second, like kind of like, whoops.

And then move on.

Make the choice to celebrate the badass who is showing up and giving it a shot.

Honestly, laugh at yourself.

I learned this from one of my friends.

She never really had poor self-esteem like I have had in the past, and I

remember watching her make a silly, silly mistake once, and I would've.

I just crawled under the table and cried if I would've made this mistake.

And she just giggled two giggles and then moved on and I was like, oh, I want that.

Right.

So mimic, mimic good, healthy behaviors.

So yeah.

Laugh at yourself.

Who cares?

We all make mistakes.

Move forward.

Just keep moving.

Number four, exactly that progress over perfection done is better than perfect.

This is a leap from being in a culture where straight a's are celebrated.

Um, honestly, yeah, back to that.

Now you need to focus on getting things done, laying down a foundation, and then

going back and fixing things up when you have the resources and the time to go.

But you just have to keep, you just have to start laying that

foundation and moving forward.

Number five, comparison is the thief of happiness.

Pay attention to who and what you surround yourself with.

Um, if, if seeing your classmates on social media triggers you then.

Unfriend them on social media.

Don't look at it.

There's no point in comparing.

You have no idea what's going on in other people's lives.

None at all.

And the truth is, if somebody's on social media a ton, it's either

because they're not booked and they're trying to get booked and they're

doing a bang up job of making their practice look beautiful and perfect.

But they're on social media, so they're not booked.

They're really truly that damn booked, and they've hired a social

media manager, so kudos to them.

But chances are, , if it's a practitioner in the first couple years out, they're,

they're not booked if they're on social media, and I'm not saying that to be mean.

I think social media is a great place to get, um, some eyes on your practice.

So I'm saying that's a good place to be.

But if it makes you feel small that they're on social media and they're doing

a killer job on social media and their practice looks amazing, don't you need

to unfriend them and not feel small?

And the last thing you need to ask about this is if you are, if you're

being triggered by something like that, if you're comparing yourself

to other people, ask this question.

Is this the truth, this perception that you have about what's going on over there?

Is that the truth?

Because the, the truth is you don't know number.

if Y . Yeah.

Here we go.

Number six.

If you didn't win the parent lottery or , maybe you did win the parent

lottery, but your internal foundational dialogue is self-recrimination and

not that of an encouraging adult.

In other words, your self-talk sucks.

You need to do some work there Slow.

Meditate, catch yourself in the process.

Create an internal dialogue starting with how you would talk to a child or

someone else who is in the same situation.

That goes back to getting help again.

. I like this quote from Brene Brown.

Perfectionism is not about healthy achievement and growth, it's a shield.

Perfectionism is a 20 ton shield that we lug around thinking.

It will protect us, when in fact, , it's the thing that's really preventing

us from being seen and taking.

worthiness doesn't have prerequisites.

And so I've thought a lot about this and I've worked on my own

challenges around this a lot.

And , I've decided that.

, it's in my better interest, well, in creating my medical practice and in

creating my podcast, and in creating anything that I want in my life anymore.

Whether it's a relationship or a new house or , um, my body even, right?

Even talking about my own body, what I really want now.

because perfectionism feels like it's disempowering and painful.

What I want now is to be whole, and what I'm striving for now is to be whole.

And what I wanna create as far as a medical practice is a whole practice.

And so in doing that, I've had to define what a whole practice might look like.

and I have some thoughts and suggestions for you, and those are, number one,

surround yourself with people who support you and inspire you online or off.

That's it.

Read things that inspire you.

Feel inspiration because if you feel inspiration, then you will.

Inspired and when you act from inspiration, you inspire others.

Number two, I, you know, I'm gonna go back to this.

I always do.

Number two, choose a population.

Choose a target practice member.

Choose your favorite patient type.

Choose your target.

Who you can serve with your talents or who brings you joy to be around.

You're creating your space.

You're creating your business.

Don't create it out of fear.

Create your business out of joy, out of people you enjoy being around.

If you're not sure who that is yet, those traits can come.

It doesn't have to be.

that doesn't have to be orthopedic or sports medicine or women's health.

That can be, I want to treat country people.

I have a friend who, um, I have a friend who, who lives outside of Portland and

was raised in the country and, uh, she started a practice but she started it.

In a place that had a lot of population and she really never enjoyed her practice.

It never inspired her.

Uh, and she, she did figure out who she liked to treat and once

she did this and she, she didn't really like where she was either.

Like all of these things, nothing felt great to her, and

her practice didn't take off.

It can't, nothing can thrive.

That isn't being fed with love.

Like you can't build a practice in a space that you hate.

So anyway, , she, her practice didn't thrive and recently she had

an opportunity to open a prac, open a practice in a small rural country town.

Um, there are no other acupuncturists around.

And she came to me with this idea of.

, I can't even remember when it was the name of her practice.

It was something like Thrive and, and I said, well, who, who are you treating?

And she was like, . I wanna treat people who live in like the

rural people, like farmers and ranchers, and I want them to come.

And I was like, well then why are you calling it Lift and Thrive?

Like wouldn't it be better?

Like what does that look like?

They're gonna come in in dirty boots and they're gonna come in with super sore

muscles and they're gonna come in with hay and smelling like horses and you

know, , what does your practice look like?

Like what your, the inside of your practice is not gonna be

a salon spa type situation.

She was like, oh, no, I want it to, I think it would be cool if it looked like.

A farmhouse and I was like, well then call it farmhouse acupuncture or something

along those lines and make it cozy.

And oh my gosh, how much fun is it gonna be to decorate that?

And then two people are gonna feel so seen and heard when they come in.

They're gonna love it.

You're gonna have a.

Bootjack and you're gonna have, you know, like, it's gonna be so cool.

Like your decor will be amazing, like so much fun.

And she jumped in and got really excited and inspired.

So when you choose this population, oh, ac real quick too.

Another, another person I found out, uh, that I've been helping.

Knows American Sign Language and I was like, well, who else does know who?

What other acupuncturist do you know that knows?

Sign language?

None.

Well use that.

That's amazing.

You can help that population so much.

Target them, go talk to them.

Find out ways to get, you know, community connected in that community.

Hopefully those ideas inspire you a little bit because I know

so many of you are turned off.

When I say choose your niche, choose your population, figure

out who you wanna treat, okay?

Number three, create rules around what you do in the form of a mission and a vision

statement so that you have a guiding beacon and aren't led astray by things

that feel bright and shiny in the moment, but are not in alignment with your vision.

That sounds big and that sounds hard.

The more I get to know myself, the more I get to know who I am and

what I'm about and what I'm doing.

I know that I am a person who helps the helper.

I'm a person who supports people who goes out and supports other people.

And I've always been that way.

I like second place.

I don't wanna be in first place, like I wanna drive this ag

vehicle for my cyclist friends.

I don't want to race.

I want to support people.

I know that's my, , that's my vision, uh, is to always be in alignment

with helping the helpers, much like Jane or supporting the supporters.

How can I help you so that you can go help more people?

That's me.

So what is your vision?

And it can evolve.

I know this always, you guys get all like, I'm not doing that.

I wanna take the time.

It can evolve.

So start somewhere.

Just start somewhere and then go back and listen to my, um, podcast on

the difference between a vision and vision and a mission statement number.

This is pretty drastic, but it, it's helpful.

Number four, unfollow unfriend.

Don't spend time looking at or interacting with anyone or anything

that disparages who you are or what your vision is, or just plain makes

you feel bad about yourself even.

Even if.

You feel bad about yourself because it's your low self-esteem talking.

When you see those things, even if that's okay, that's okay.

You don't have to look at what other people are doing In order to do great, you

don't have to look at what other people are doing in order for you to do great.

I do this.

I am not gonna lie about that.

Like I make sure that.

I go through, well, let me just preface this.

This can be a phase thing easily.

Like eventually you'll build up the confidence and the muscle and it

won't matter because you're doing your own thing anyway, and you don't

really care about what other people are doing or saying or thinking.

And so once you get to that point, but in the beginning, uh, when you're trying to

do something and you don't, and you feel a little bit insecure because you will, we

all do, if you keep getting triggered and tripped up and you feel like it's, it's,

um, , it's making you stuck, unfollow your classmates, unfriend, or, I don't know.

I, I didn't unfriend people, but I went on Facebook and shut down so many people

so that I couldn't see what was going on because it triggered me, and that's okay.

. I could probably look at a lot of it now and I don't care.

I don't even care anymore.

Right.

Um, but there are, even in my life right now, there are certain

situations that I just have turned off because it's too much.

I can't deal with it.

It makes me feel bad about myself, and I just don't care.

I don't wanna feel that way.

So I turned it off.

Number five, pay attention to your emotions.

Your emotions are really guiding, so pay attention to your emotions.

Get healthy with your perceptions and strive to understand them.

And then learn what parts of you need to be healed.

We all need to spend time healing.

Nobody has had a perfect life.

Pay attention to your emotions.

Number six.

And this leads into jealousy.

I love jealousy.

I have learned to love jealousy.

I was jealous a lot when I was younger.

Um, and what I learned was, especially when I started paying attention

to what my emotions were telling me, you know, fear means stop.

Anger means shut up . You know, like certain emotions means certain things.

Sadness means what just triggered me.

You know, emotions mean a lot.

Pay attention.

Pay attention to when they shift, especially if you are coming from

childhood abuse or uh, adverse events and you're pretty empathic.

Anytime there's a really fast shift in your emotions, often it's not you.

Somebody just walked into the room.

But anyway, , I digress.

Jealous.

Oh my gosh.

So jealousy is often a really helpful emotion.

Jealousy just means that you want something that you don't have or you

want to be somewhere that you aren't.

I find that jealousy is like a beacon for me.

It gives me intel about where I really wanna go.

It's often the first step in my journeys, if I feel jealous about

something, I note the emotion and then I start doing research to gain and tell

about what it would take to get there.

And do I really want to spend the time and do the work and what does it really

mean to be, have or do that thing?

So I really do some research about it and then decide if I wanna

spend the energy to get there.

And then I also envision myself there because.

when you get there, are you really gonna enjoy it when you finally make it there?

So, but jealousy has often led me down paths of exactly where I need to go.

So pay attention to jealousy.

Number seven, meditate.

Or Taichi or yoga.

This is truly the path of least resistance to being at peace with yourself.

I spent so much time in the nineties during the self-help

culture, trying to fix myself.

And here's a spoiler alert.

Meditation is far less painful.

Couple, couple that with some perhaps somatic healing or emdr,

and heal your nervous system and connect with the Dow like that.

That is big.

That is not just 50% big.

I say that's like 70 to 80% big.

This is life changing.

And I think most of us know this, who went to school where we had to participate

in Tai Chi or Chiang, but it's really, it's really important to your healing.

And lastly, number eight, this, I feel like, and I, and I, and I should

have teed this up in the beginning, but this I feel like is step one.

What small lever needs to be activated in your life that will then create

a cascade of positive change.

Um, and, and one of the ways you can find this is to kind of ask

yourself what has worked in the past, because it's, you've lost it in

medical school, there's no time for.

Life changing levers, . Um, but for me, uh, daily exercise is the

catalyst of all goodness in my life.

Uh, when I exercise, I eat healthier.

I drink less alcohol.

I eat.

Other healthy people and build a community around that.

I go to bed earlier and I get enough sleep.

I like myself.

I am more motivated and excited about life.

I feel more mentally sharp and creative.

I meet other active people who end up coming to see me when they need to.

In my practice, my business grows.

I make a sustainable living.

I meet people who wanna support me and see me grow.

I inspire other people to lead healthy lives.

And I read more, I have more confidence.

It's, it's actually a good place to learn how to be imperfect.

When I was much younger, I did in fact use this as a way to perfection to

look perfect so people would like me.

It was my flawed way of thinking that I would not be rejected by.

But I found interestingly enough, through working out, what I found was

that the joy was in showing up and seeing the progress of being consistent.

The friendships were amazing.

The side product me was just juicier human being.

Even the people I met who looked perfect.

we're not perfect.

It actually just showed me that.

And really we are really on our own path.

We each have our own toolkit, our own zone of genius, our own genetic code.

There is no perfect, just a better version of you.

So perfection is a story you tell.

, much like the story that you will not be rejected.

If you are perfect, you could tell yourself you are just learning.

You could tell yourself and your inner child that life is long and you don't

have to get it all in this moment.

You could tell yourself that this life is built in layers, like a

watercolor painting, that it's okay for people to watch you build it.

You might even inspire other people.

That it's okay to believe in higher power , and when life feels scary and

full and you are having trouble finding your center, that it's okay to get

quiet and just ask for the next step.

That's all you really need in times like that, the next step.

So take your.

. Ask yourself what you need in the moment.

Be interceptive and interceptive.

Many of us who are inclined to chase perfection have a little bit

of a drama streak laced in our dna.

A space where love might feel like sarcasm or success only comes with pain

or lots of money, only happens to them.

I've found that when I let go of all of my stories, which are often riddled

with some level of dysfunctional programming and focus on the exercise

and the process, and maintaining steady progress, that honestly feels satisfying

and boring at the same time I get there.

It happens.

People show up, money shows up.

Friends connect me with people , who will facilitate the growth of my business.

New opportunities for fun manifest and instead of the dramatic climb

to the first place podium with the anthem and the cheering, instead of

the exaltation and the celebration and then jumping up and down of, I did it.

I usually just think, huh?

. Well, of course that wasn't such a big deal.

Sort of like slipping into a hot tub.

Kind of nice, like a relaxing light bulb moment of ha wow.

This way is so much more calm and kind and graceful.

Hmm.

Imagine that I can have a peaceful moment of success that

fills me with calm happiness.

That can be my story.

So let me.

That story started with finding the lever, that by turning that lever

every day, and even when I didn't feel like it was going to instigate change.

Change is uncomfortable and awkward at first, but you turn the

lever and things come together.

. I created a vision of what I wanted, who I wanted to be, and who I wanted to come

with me, and also who and what I didn't want, and I turned off everything that I

did not want and knew what it looked like.

When it showed up to play.

I stopped looking over my shoulder to see who was watching, and I stopped

watching other people if I felt smaller or disempowered by looking, sometimes

you need to shut all of that out so you can build your business muscle.

It's not forever, but it doesn't feel good to waste your energy watching

focus on you only slowly becoming whole.

Success doesn't look like perfectionism.

This is no longer the story.

Success looks like a Bob Ross succession of layers of focus in one direction with

happy little mistakes along the way.

The process looks a little boring and feels mostly calm, trusting

that you know the answers, and you only need to focus on the next step.

, it's stretching into news, stories of success and relationships

and and self that include a self-nurturing voice and agenda.

It's doing the work of interoception and interoception so that you can choose

or be led by your own higher power to create a new way so that when you get

there, you will literally take a deep, calm breath and say, huh, of course.