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From Dispute to Division: Understanding Church Conflicts
4th November 2024 • Middletown Baptist Church • Middletown Baptist Church
00:00:00 00:47:09

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Conflict and disagreements are inevitable, even among dedicated leaders like Paul and Barnabas, as illustrated in Acts chapter 15. This podcast delves into the sharp contention that arose over John Mark's participation in their missionary journey, highlighting the importance of handling disputes with grace and understanding. Pastor Josh Massaro emphasizes that while personal disputes can easily escalate, the church must focus on love, unity, and spiritual growth rather than falling into the trap of fight or flight responses. The discussion also touches on the significance of both evangelism and discipleship in the church, encouraging believers to nurture both new and existing members of the faith community. Join us as we explore these themes and learn valuable lessons on conflict resolution within the church.

Pastor Josh Massaro leads a thoughtful exploration of conflict resolution through the lens of Acts chapter 15. The podcast opens with a warm welcome to the congregation, setting a tone of fellowship and community. As the discussion unfolds, Pastor Josh dives into a significant conflict within the early church, highlighting the dispute between Paul and Barnabas over John Mark's participation in their missionary journey. This disagreement is labeled as the 'conflict sandwich' - a term that captures the tension at the start and the resolution at the Jerusalem council, only to reveal further discord amongst the leaders. Through the examination of this conflict, the pastor emphasizes the importance of understanding differing perspectives within the church, advocating for a balance between evangelism and discipleship. This balance is crucial for nurturing a community that grows in faith while also reaching out to the lost. Ultimately, the episode serves as a reminder that even prominent figures in the church can experience disagreements, and it encourages listeners to strive for unity and patience in their own relationships.

Takeaways:

  • Conflict resolution is crucial within the church, and disagreements can arise from personal disputes.
  • Paul and Barnabas had a disagreement over John Mark that illustrates human fallibility.
  • It's important to balance evangelism and discipleship for the health of a church.
  • Meekness and love should characterize our responses to conflicts with others.
  • Believers should strive for unity even in the face of personal disagreements.
  • Paul's eventual recognition of John Mark's worth demonstrates growth and reconciliation in relationships.

Links referenced in this episode:

Thank you for joining our podcast. Visit our website at https://middletownbaptistchurch.org/

Subscribe to our YouTube at https://www.youtube.com/@middletownbaptistchurchde5091

Follow us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/MBCDelaware

This podcast is produced by Ralph Estep, Jr., host of the Ask Ralph Podcast, a daily podcast on Christian Finance you can find it at https://www.askralphpodcast.com/



Transcripts

Pastor Josh:

Hello and welcome to the Middletown Baptist Church Podcast, where we are proclaiming the truth to the world.

Pastor Josh:

My name is Pastor Josh, and I want to thank you for listening to this podcast.

Pastor Josh:

I hope that this podcast can be a blessing to you and strengthen you in the word of God.

Pastor Josh:

Now, come along.

Pastor Josh:

Let's look into the Bible and see what God has for us here today.

Pastor Josh:

So we're in Acts chapter 15.

Pastor Josh:

Where we left off was there was a dispute.

Pastor Josh:

There was a conflict at the beginning of Acts chapter 15.

Pastor Josh:

And really, when we look at Acts 15, we see conflict resolution, Conflict.

Pastor Josh:

I like to call it the conflict sandwich, right?

Pastor Josh:

We see a conflict at the beginning, and then we see a resolution at the Jerusalem Council, and we think, hey, everything's going to be okay.

Pastor Josh:

They're not going to have another conflict.

Pastor Josh:

They're not going to have another dispute.

Pastor Josh:

And all of a sudden we see two of the leaders, well renowned leaders, have a dispute here at the end of the chapter.

Pastor Josh:

And we're going to talk about that here this evening.

Pastor Josh:

So what happened at the beginning of this chapter?

Pastor Josh:

Well, there were a group of people coming from Jerusalem to a place called Antioch.

Pastor Josh:

And it was a church that was made up of Jews and Gentiles.

Pastor Josh:

Two different cultures merged into one.

Pastor Josh:

And we know that the Jewish people had their Jewish traditions that they followed, which in and of themselves are not wrong, as long as they don't believe that that's what saves them.

Pastor Josh:

The problem was that there was these Jewish people that were going to the Gentiles and saying, you must be this way.

Pastor Josh:

You must follow the ways of Judaism.

Pastor Josh:

You must follow the traditions and the law to, number one, be saved and number two, to keep your salvation.

Pastor Josh:

And that was.

Pastor Josh:

That was a conflict.

Pastor Josh:

That was a stumbling block because the Gentiles didn't understand this.

Pastor Josh:

They said, well, wait, I thought that Paul preached that it was salvation by faith.

Pastor Josh:

They said, well, it's faith plus these things.

Pastor Josh:

And so what happened was, is that they had to have a council back in Jerusalem to figure this out.

Pastor Josh:

And there was this great discussion.

Pastor Josh:

We had guys like Paul and Peter and James.

Pastor Josh:

And essentially what happens is that they basically say, no, it's not an extra burden that we need to put on the Gentiles.

Pastor Josh:

This is not something that they have to follow.

Pastor Josh:

It's salvation by faith alone.

Pastor Josh:

And so they were excited to go back and tell the church at Antioch that you're not saved by works, you're not saved, you're not added to in your works.

Pastor Josh:

All it is is faith.

Pastor Josh:

But they did give them a List of rules to keep unity.

Pastor Josh:

Remember the idea of love and unity, right?

Pastor Josh:

We have liberty, but because of our love, we take boundaries.

Pastor Josh:

We put boundaries up in our life to be cautious.

Pastor Josh:

And so what happened was, is there.

Pastor Josh:

There was these rules, essentially, be cautious of these things so that there's unity in your church.

Pastor Josh:

And those rules were obviously, stay away from idolatry.

Pastor Josh:

Stay away from any meat that was sacrificed to idols and all of that.

Pastor Josh:

And the reason they gave them those rules was so there could be unity in the church, Unity in the church at Antioch.

Pastor Josh:

And so we see that when they bring that letter to the church in Antioch, they were excited.

Pastor Josh:

They were like, yes, we're not bound by the law.

Pastor Josh:

And we're willing to do these things because we love our fellow brothers and sisters in Christ.

Pastor Josh:

And there was this great moment where we see the end of all of this.

Pastor Josh:

And we see verse 31 of Acts 15, which when they read, they rejoice for the consolation or the comfort.

Pastor Josh:

They were comforted by this truth.

Pastor Josh:

They were excited.

Pastor Josh:

There was unity.

Pastor Josh:

There was fellowship.

Pastor Josh:

And we see that in verse 32.

Pastor Josh:

And Judas and Silas, being prophets also themselves exhorted the brethren with many words and confirmed them.

Pastor Josh:

And after they had tarried their space, they were let go in peace from the brethren unto the apostles notwithstanding, to please Silas to abide there still.

Pastor Josh:

So Silas stayed, and he wanted to disciple these folks.

Pastor Josh:

And then we see in verse 35, Paul also and Barnabas continued in Antioch teaching and preaching the word of the Lord with many others also.

Pastor Josh:

So we left off with everything going well.

Pastor Josh:

Paul, Silas, Barnabas, they're preaching, they're teaching.

Pastor Josh:

We see discipleship happening.

Pastor Josh:

We see growth happening.

Pastor Josh:

And then we see verse 36.

Pastor Josh:

Now, we don't know how much time exactly took place between verse 35 and verse 36.

Pastor Josh:

It just says, and some days after, Paul said unto Barnabas, let us go again and visit our brethren in every city where we have preached the word of the Lord and see how they do.

Pastor Josh:

And so Paul had this spirit of evangelism, but Paul had a spirit of discipleship.

Pastor Josh:

Well, what Paul wanted to do, obviously, was to go to new places and preach the gospel to new people.

Pastor Josh:

But he also had a heart for going back and checking in with the people that have already received the Word.

Pastor Josh:

And so Paul's heart at this point was, hey, we need to go speak to other people that have already trusted in Jesus Christ, but we need to see how they're doing.

Pastor Josh:

And so he understood the importance of strengthening and encouraging those people who were already Christians.

Pastor Josh:

And so as a church, we also have to have that same desire.

Pastor Josh:

We need to have an evangelistic heart.

Pastor Josh:

One of the pillars of our church should be evangelism, meaning preaching the gospel to the lost.

Pastor Josh:

But another pillar of our church, another deciding factor of our church, should be that we must be discipleship oriented, meaning we need to preach the gospel to folks.

Pastor Josh:

We need to see them come to Christ, but we also need to come alongside of them after they've trusted in Jesus Christ.

Pastor Josh:

And we need to teach them.

Pastor Josh:

That's part of the Great Commission.

Pastor Josh:

Because go to the Great Commission, one of the words that you see is teaching them.

Pastor Josh:

Teach, teach.

Pastor Josh:

And so teaching means what we say.

Pastor Josh:

It means what we demonstrate.

Pastor Josh:

It means how we live.

Pastor Josh:

And so Paul said, you know what?

Pastor Josh:

Let's go and let's talk to these people.

Pastor Josh:

And so Paul had a heart for the lost, and he had a heart for those who were believers that needed shepherding, that needed guidance, that needed maturity.

Pastor Josh:

And that's how we should be in our church.

Pastor Josh:

We can't overemphasize one or the other.

Pastor Josh:

If we overemphasized evangelism, what would happen is we would be full of a bunch of spiritual babies.

Pastor Josh:

And we see that throughout the New Testament.

Pastor Josh:

Paul, he doesn't like that.

Pastor Josh:

He says, hey, if you guys all stay as spiritual babes, you can't take the next step of leading other people to Christ.

Pastor Josh:

You should be on the meat, but you're still on the milk.

Pastor Josh:

And so if we only emphasize evangelism and that alone, we're missing out on that next step.

Pastor Josh:

But if we only emphasize discipleship, what will we be doing?

Pastor Josh:

We would be keeping a focus on our own people, and that's it.

Pastor Josh:

And so what we have to do is have a healthy mix of both evangelism, discipleship, evangelism, discipleship.

Pastor Josh:

And that's what we see Paul doing here.

Pastor Josh:

So everything's good.

Pastor Josh:

He wanted to see how they're doing.

Pastor Josh:

This shows Paul's his shepherding heart.

Pastor Josh:

He was not content with just planting churches.

Pastor Josh:

He wanted to see them nurtured and matured and growing.

Pastor Josh:

And that's how we should be within our own church.

Pastor Josh:

So he has this heart, and I think this is a good place to be.

Pastor Josh:

I think this is how we should be.

Pastor Josh:

And what we're going to see here in this passage is that people with good intentions can make mistakes.

Pastor Josh:

Paul and Barnabas, I think, by all accounts here are good men.

Pastor Josh:

They're men that love the Lord.

Pastor Josh:

They're men that love the ministry.

Pastor Josh:

But we're Going to see them have a disagreement and we're going to see them have a struggle here.

Pastor Josh:

And so what we need to see is that conflict and disagreements are inevitable.

Pastor Josh:

I wish that we could all walk in the same mind all the time.

Pastor Josh:

And the truth is that we can walk with the same goals but sometimes we're going to have a different opinion on how we should get there.

Pastor Josh:

Now how do we deal with that?

Pastor Josh:

Well, a lot of times what happens within bodies of believers is that we have a disagreement.

Pastor Josh:

Well, either becomes a fight or it becomes a way to flee.

Pastor Josh:

Right?

Pastor Josh:

You've ever heard of fight or flight?

Pastor Josh:

Fight or flight is we either respond with fighting a person or we respond with running away.

Pastor Josh:

And that's how we react in many cases within conflict within the church.

Pastor Josh:

I have been guilty of both.

Pastor Josh:

I have been guilty on the side of lashing out in anger because of a disagreement and I've also been guilty of, hey, you know what, I'm just going to back off, I'm going to run away, I'm not going to deal with this issue.

Pastor Josh:

And neither one of those are really what we should be doing within a conflict.

Pastor Josh:

Both of those really have a self focus.

Pastor Josh:

How can I get out of this?

Pastor Josh:

How can I win?

Pastor Josh:

We're going to see here this evening that that's not the right route to go when we have a disagreement, when we have a dispute.

Pastor Josh:

And so let's look what happens in verse 37.

Pastor Josh:

This is where the root of it actually begins.

Pastor Josh:

Well I wouldn't say the root, the root is actually started before this, but this is what causes it to explode.

Pastor Josh:

And Barnabas determined to take with them John, whose surname was Mark.

Pastor Josh:

So Barnabas goes to Paul and says, hey, we need to take John Mark, he's going to be a good help to us.

Pastor Josh:

And that was Barnabas opinion.

Pastor Josh:

Now the Bible here in this passage, this is interesting, at least the way that I read this.

Pastor Josh:

We really don't see who's right or wrong.

Pastor Josh:

I think that there's actually people on both sides that have good opinions.

Pastor Josh:

But I think that people on the both sides were not willing to compromise and come together.

Pastor Josh:

So I think there's right on both sides and I think there's wrong on both sides.

Pastor Josh:

But what we see here is that Barnabas says let's take John Mark, he's a good guy, but let's see what Paul has to think about John Mark.

Pastor Josh:

But Paul thought not good to take him with them, who departed from them from Pamphylia and went not with them to the work.

Pastor Josh:

Now if you remember back a little while ago when we were in this study, we saw in Acts, chapter 13, verse 13, it says now, when Paul and his company loosed from Paphos, they came to Perga and Pamphylia.

Pastor Josh:

And John, that's the same John, Mark and John departed from them and returned to Jerusalem.

Pastor Josh:

Now, we can understand through context that it was basically John, Mark fled.

Pastor Josh:

He said, I'm going back.

Pastor Josh:

I can't handle this.

Pastor Josh:

This is too difficult.

Pastor Josh:

And basically he left Paul and Barnabas, you know, up the creek without the paddle.

Pastor Josh:

He said, I'm going to bail on you guys.

Pastor Josh:

I can't do this.

Pastor Josh:

And so Paul's response is, no, we don't want a guy like that around.

Pastor Josh:

Now, we could understand Paul's sentiment here, right?

Pastor Josh:

We don't want to take a guy with us that we can't trust.

Pastor Josh:

Now, Paul is a guy who is strong in his faith, but Paul is strong in his opinion.

Pastor Josh:

And we see Barnabas.

Pastor Josh:

Now, what is Barnabas most characterized by?

Pastor Josh:

Does anyone remember what's his name even mean?

Pastor Josh:

He's an encourager, like the son of consolation, the son of encouragement.

Pastor Josh:

So Barnabas is going to always err on the side of, I'm going to be an encourager.

Pastor Josh:

I'm going to pour out grace and mercy upon people.

Pastor Josh:

Paul, though he had mercy and grace, was the guy out front.

Pastor Josh:

He was a prophet.

Pastor Josh:

He was the one who was going to be leading.

Pastor Josh:

And so Paul's seeing it from a very administrative standpoint, right?

Pastor Josh:

And I can understand this.

Pastor Josh:

I can understand Paul's sentiment here.

Pastor Josh:

Paul's like, I don't want a guy coming with me that bailed on me.

Pastor Josh:

That's not going to work on the mission field.

Pastor Josh:

Well, he's coming from that administrative mindset that, that, that business mindset, if you will.

Pastor Josh:

Now, I'm not going to say that Paul is thinking business here, but what I am saying is that there is a spiritual gift of administration that Paul is seeing here, and we're seeing it acted out right here.

Pastor Josh:

And then we see what happens with Barnabas is Barnabas is one with mercy.

Pastor Josh:

He's the one that's like, hey, well, you know what?

Pastor Josh:

Let's give him a second chance.

Pastor Josh:

Let's take him with us.

Pastor Josh:

Now we're gonna see that Barnabas has a reason for this.

Pastor Josh:

Barnabas is related to John, Mark.

Pastor Josh:

And so there's a familial connection as well.

Pastor Josh:

But both of them naturally, in and of themselves, have their opinion.

Pastor Josh:

Now, I wanna stop here.

Pastor Josh:

Tonight's gonna sound more like a Lecture than preaching.

Pastor Josh:

There will be some elements of preaching.

Pastor Josh:

They're kind of merged together here.

Pastor Josh:

But what I will say is that sometimes within a conflict within the church, there are good opinions on both sides.

Pastor Josh:

You can see points on both sides.

Pastor Josh:

And actually what happens is that sometimes people are seeing it from this perspective and another person seeing it from this perspective.

Pastor Josh:

And what could have happened is they could have come together and talked this out and maybe come up with a compromise in the sake of unity.

Pastor Josh:

But we're going to see that they don't do that.

Pastor Josh:

We're going to see that they don't want to talk this out, or at least in this case they don't talk it out and they go their separate ways.

Pastor Josh:

Now some people preach this passage and say, well, this is what you're supposed to do in all sense of conflict.

Pastor Josh:

If you can't figure it out, just turn your back and go, well, I don't think Paul or Barnabas are sinless.

Pastor Josh:

And so I think there are some elements of their flesh being played out in this passage.

Pastor Josh:

And we see that through verse 39.

Pastor Josh:

And the contention was so sharp between them.

Pastor Josh:

Now that is not how you would describe two individuals following in the Spirit.

Pastor Josh:

Right?

Pastor Josh:

If they were both following the Spirit and trying to fix this, it wouldn't be described as having sharp contention between them.

Pastor Josh:

And so for me, that's a clue to show us that neither one of them are completely walking in the Spirit in this.

Pastor Josh:

There is a way that we can have a conflict in the Spirit and there's a way that we can have a conflict in the flesh.

Pastor Josh:

How do we know that Jesus had conflict with people?

Pastor Josh:

Right?

Pastor Josh:

Well, we know that there were people that opposed Jesus's teaching and Jesus handled it in a perfect way every single time.

Pastor Josh:

Did that mean that Jesus backed down to every single opposition?

Pastor Josh:

No, Jesus was firm.

Pastor Josh:

Jesus was strong with the Pharisees.

Pastor Josh:

But there was a way that Jesus handled conflict in a Spirit filled way.

Pastor Josh:

And that's our description of how we should follow everything in Christ like ways.

Pastor Josh:

And so there's also fleshly ways that we can respond to conflict.

Pastor Josh:

And when we respond to conflict in a fleshly way, it always goes back to ourselves.

Pastor Josh:

It always goes back to us winning.

Pastor Josh:

Right?

Pastor Josh:

There's no winning in that.

Pastor Josh:

There's no winning in a conflict within the church.

Pastor Josh:

Because what happens is that both sides hurt and ultimately the body of believers hurt.

Pastor Josh:

You remember back in that passage in first Corinthians that talks about the church being the body and there's different parts of the body, right?

Pastor Josh:

When one part of the body's hurting, whether we know it or not, the whole body hurts.

Pastor Josh:

And so what we see in this passage of Scripture is that Paul and Barnabas are having a conflict.

Pastor Josh:

And they're sharp contention.

Pastor Josh:

Barnabas was determined.

Pastor Josh:

But we see here that Paul insisted.

Pastor Josh:

Paul insisted that John Mark couldn't come.

Pastor Josh:

What Barnabas said was, well, I'm determined.

Pastor Josh:

So we have a guy who's determined and we have a guy who's insisting.

Pastor Josh:

And so Paul thought it wasn't good to go.

Pastor Josh:

Barnabas was determined.

Pastor Josh:

And so Luke, the writer of Acts, didn't give us a clue as to who was right or wrong in this dispute.

Pastor Josh:

But it's never good when personal disputes flare up amongst the ministry.

Pastor Josh:

The conflict that happened at the beginning of Acts, chapter 15.

Pastor Josh:

What?

Pastor Josh:

Okay, this is where you guys can speak back to me.

Pastor Josh:

And I know this is what everyone gets nervous, even the person asking the question, because you might not understand where I'm going with this.

Pastor Josh:

But where was the conflict at the beginning of Chapter 15?

Pastor Josh:

There at the church in Antioch.

Pastor Josh:

What was it over?

Pastor Josh:

What was that conflict over?

Pastor Josh:

And they brought to Jerusalem Council.

Pastor Josh:

What was that over?

Pastor Josh:

Grace and law.

Pastor Josh:

So, so we would say.

Pastor Josh:

We would say scriptural things, right?

Pastor Josh:

It was about belief.

Pastor Josh:

It was about the essentials.

Pastor Josh:

Okay?

Pastor Josh:

It's okay within the Church to have conflict and disputes amongst the essentials.

Pastor Josh:

And we need to figure that out.

Pastor Josh:

Those are things that we should be dealing with.

Pastor Josh:

The essentials, the doctrines, the teachings.

Pastor Josh:

Is this about grace or is it about the law?

Pastor Josh:

What does the word of God have to say?

Pastor Josh:

How do people get saved?

Pastor Josh:

We should wrestle with these things within the Church in a good way, right?

Pastor Josh:

It's okay to talk about these things, but what really here, what are Paul and Barnabas fighting over?

Pastor Josh:

Personal disputes.

Pastor Josh:

A slight against Paul.

Pastor Josh:

He was forgotten about by John, Mark.

Pastor Josh:

And this is where we really see a lot of the conflicts happening within the Church.

Pastor Josh:

Personal slights, personal disputes, not about theology or doctrine.

Pastor Josh:

Now, we shouldn't fight about theology or doctrine to a place where we're separated.

Pastor Josh:

But what we do need to understand that in many cases, I would say that most cases within the Church, usually the conflicts come when it's personal slights or personal disputes.

Pastor Josh:

And that's what we see here as a personal dispute.

Pastor Josh:

And so we see that the contention is sharp.

Pastor Josh:

Wherever there is sharp contention, somebody is.

Pastor Josh:

Somebody is acting in the flesh, somebody is wrong.

Pastor Josh:

And usually there is elements of the flesh on both sides.

Pastor Josh:

And so there was no way that both Paul and Barnabas would be walking in the spirit with this contention, so it says.

Pastor Josh:

And the contention was so sharp between them that they departed asunder one from the other.

Pastor Josh:

Now, this is Paul and Barnabas.

Pastor Josh:

These guys were partners in the ministry.

Pastor Josh:

And something over this, something over bringing another guy onto the ministry staff caused them to separate themselves, turn their backs on each other, essentially.

Pastor Josh:

And so what happens here is that there is this dissension.

Pastor Josh:

One goes one way, we see that happening.

Pastor Josh:

Barnabas took Mark, Barnabas takes John Mark, and he sailed onto Cyprus.

Pastor Josh:

Paul chose Silas and departed, being recommended by the brethren unto the grace of God.

Pastor Josh:

And so earlier in this chapter, we saw that there was a dispute over a doctrinal matter.

Pastor Josh:

Here we see contention in what I would consider a less important, more personal issue.

Pastor Josh:

And so the relationship between Paul and Barnabas was probably strained for many different reasons.

Pastor Josh:

One, maybe Paul was thinking, well, of course Barnabas wants John Mark to come.

Pastor Josh:

That's his family.

Pastor Josh:

We know that.

Pastor Josh:

Other passages of Scripture tell us that that was his nephew.

Pastor Josh:

We also do know that In Galatians, chapter 2, verse 13, if you remember, back in the story of the church at Galatia, there was this issue of the Judaizers that were appealing back to the flesh, appealing back to man tradition.

Pastor Josh:

Well, we see that In Galatians, chapter 2, verse 13, it say this, and other Jews dissembled likewise with him, insomuch that Barnabas was also carried away with their dissimulation.

Pastor Josh:

So we actually even see a situation where Barnabas had fallen over to the side of the Judaizers at one point.

Pastor Josh:

And so the relationship between Paul and Barnabas was strained where Barnabas even later on sided with the Judaizers in Antioch when Peter came to visit in Galatians, chapter two.

Pastor Josh:

And so since Barnabas was John Mark's cousin, and if you want to check me on that, the passage of Scripture is Colossians, chapter 4, verse 10.

Pastor Josh:

We can see that John Mark is Barnabas cousin, actually not nephew cousin.

Pastor Josh:

And because Barnabas had such an encouraging spirit, he.

Pastor Josh:

And he had that accepting character.

Pastor Josh:

It was easy to see why he would want John Mark to go.

Pastor Josh:

And so they parted.

Pastor Josh:

So Paul is accompanied by Silas, Barnabas is accompanied by John Mark.

Pastor Josh:

They split.

Pastor Josh:

They go their different ways.

Pastor Josh:

And so it's hard to know if their personal relationship was strained for forever.

Pastor Josh:

We know that ultimately it gets fixed.

Pastor Josh:

But we know that there is scripture to deal with personal conflict.

Pastor Josh:

One scripture I'd like to take you to is Matthew, chapter five.

Pastor Josh:

Matthew, chapter five.

Pastor Josh:

This is what Jesus taught on personal conflict.

Pastor Josh:

Now we're going to come back here in a few minutes and we're going to talk about Paul and Silas, and we're going to talk about John, Mark and Barnabas.

Pastor Josh:

And we're going to see ultimately that I do believe that there is resolution to this later on down in the story, down throughout the history of the early church.

Pastor Josh:

But I want us to see what Scripture has to say about conflict resolution, and we'll see what Scripture has to say about conflict resolution, and then we'll see if we think that Paul and Barnabas followed that.

Pastor Josh:

I think that most of us will agree that they don't essentially follow all the things that Scripture says to follow at this point.

Pastor Josh:

Now, this isn't to beat Paul up.

Pastor Josh:

This isn't to be Barnabas up.

Pastor Josh:

I have been Paul in this, okay?

Pastor Josh:

Just to be honest, there's been times in my life where I knew, you know what?

Pastor Josh:

I just don't want to deal with this.

Pastor Josh:

It's better that we just split up.

Pastor Josh:

It's better that we turn a separate way because that's the easier route.

Pastor Josh:

But what we can see here in this case is that Jesus doesn't teach that in Matthew, chapter 5.

Pastor Josh:

If you go to verse 23, this is a very convicting passage of Scripture and actually leads up to this idea of being angry with a brother and saying all these things.

Pastor Josh:

But he says, therefore, verse 23, therefore, if thou bring thy gift to the altar and there rememberest that thy brother hath ought against thee.

Pastor Josh:

So basically, if you remember that your brother has something against you, what do you do?

Pastor Josh:

Leave there thy gift before the altar and go thy way and first be reconciled to thy brother and then come and offer thy gift.

Pastor Josh:

Meaning this.

Pastor Josh:

God isn't interested with any of your ministry, any of your gifts, any of your worship, unless you're right with all those that are around you with your brothers and sisters in Christ.

Pastor Josh:

You know, sometimes we think that we can offset our anger against our brother by just loving God more.

Pastor Josh:

But what we can see in that passage is, hey, leave your gift, go get it right with your brother, then come back and give that gift.

Pastor Josh:

And that's one of the things that I'm really convicted by.

Pastor Josh:

Especially when we inspect our lives in a communion service or something like that, we need to really think like, am I is the best of my ability living in harmony with those around me.

Pastor Josh:

Now, if I go to try to make it right with my brother, and my brother doesn't want to make it right with me, hey, I've done my part right?

Pastor Josh:

And Matthew chapter 18 tells us what we are to do next.

Pastor Josh:

If I go to my brother and try to make it right, and he doesn't want to make it right, well, it depends on who's been the one who sinned against each other, right?

Pastor Josh:

If I've sinned against you and I've tried to come to you and try to make that right, and they don't care, then, hey, it's over.

Pastor Josh:

I've done everything that I can do.

Pastor Josh:

But if that person has sinned against me and I go to them to try to have that restoration and they reject that, well, we have to bring two or three, as the Scriptures say in Matthew chapter 18.

Pastor Josh:

And then ultimately we have to take the next step.

Pastor Josh:

If they reject that, we have to take the next step of bringing it for the whole church family.

Pastor Josh:

This isn't my teaching.

Pastor Josh:

This is Jesus teaching in Matthew chapter 18.

Pastor Josh:

And so there is Jesus always has a path for us when it comes to conflict resolution.

Pastor Josh:

So we see in that passage that God is more concerned with our heart than our actions, and our heart must be to be restored back to a brother.

Pastor Josh:

Another passage of scripture that I think we could go to when it comes to conflict resolution is Galatians chapter 6.

Pastor Josh:

Galatians chapter 6.

Pastor Josh:

This shows us the spirit of the conflict resolution, the spirit of when someone wrongs us, the spirit of when we have a disagreement.

Pastor Josh:

Now, first of all, I will say this.

Pastor Josh:

The Bible says live peaceably with all men if possible.

Pastor Josh:

So it's obviously in many cases an impossibility to be at peace with everybody at all times.

Pastor Josh:

Right?

Pastor Josh:

There are going to be people that are just upset with us because we're Christians.

Pastor Josh:

There's going to be people that are upset with us because we looked a certain way, or there's going to be people that are upset all the time.

Pastor Josh:

We have to do everything that we can to live peaceably with them.

Pastor Josh:

And but the problem is, is that in most cases in a dispute, or in most cases when there's a disagreement, what happens is, is that we are focused on, like I said before, winning or pulling that person down or making that person look bad.

Pastor Josh:

Well, Galatians chapter six tells us the Spirit that we should have.

Pastor Josh:

When we're dealing with an individual that has this.

Pastor Josh:

Has a dispute with us, it says brethren.

Pastor Josh:

And this is specifically dealing with sin.

Pastor Josh:

Right, says brethren.

Pastor Josh:

If a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual.

Pastor Josh:

So this is assuming that you are the one that's walking to the best of your ability with Christ.

Pastor Josh:

Ye which are spiritual, restore such a one in Spirit of meekness.

Pastor Josh:

So the Bible tells us, in the midst of a conflict, in the midst of a dispute, in the midst of someone sinning against us, we need to be the better person, the more spiritual person, we need to be, the more Christ like person and say, I'm going to treat them with meekness.

Pastor Josh:

Now what happens usually when someone wrongs us, we don't respond in meekness.

Pastor Josh:

We respond in.

Pastor Josh:

Here's the big long list of things opposite of meekness.

Pastor Josh:

We get angry, we get divisive, we start calling them names, we start trying to tear them down.

Pastor Josh:

The Bible says that's the opposite of meekness.

Pastor Josh:

We are to have a spirit of meekness for those that have fallen.

Pastor Josh:

He says, why considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted?

Pastor Josh:

What happens here is that if a person has wronged us in sin and we don't meet them with meekness, what does it say here?

Pastor Josh:

That we would be tempted to follow suit.

Pastor Josh:

We would be tempted to join in.

Pastor Josh:

In that bitterness.

Pastor Josh:

We would be tempted to join in.

Pastor Josh:

And when that root of bitterness starts, I want you to see another passage of scripture.

Pastor Josh:

Keep your finger there.

Pastor Josh:

In Galatians chapter six, we're going to go back, but I want you to see the danger of that root of bitterness starting in our hearts.

Pastor Josh:

Turn with me to Hebrews chapter 12.

Pastor Josh:

Hebrews chapter 12 talks about that root of bitterness starting.

Pastor Josh:

Because usually what happens is this.

Pastor Josh:

When someone wrongs us or maybe someone just is against us, we then begin to have that root of bitterness against them.

Pastor Josh:

Now what happens when that root of bitterness takes place?

Pastor Josh:

Well, it's like a seed being planted.

Pastor Josh:

And at first it doesn't look like a big deal, but ultimately that bitterness can totally, totally engulf our lives.

Pastor Josh:

Hebrews chapter 12, verse 15.

Pastor Josh:

It says looking diligently, basically keeping your eyes open.

Pastor Josh:

In Hebrews chapter 12, verse 15, looking diligently lest any man fall, or, excuse me, fail of the grace of God, lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled.

Pastor Josh:

Meaning this, when a root of bitterness starts in our heart, we begin to leave the grace of God and we begin to live a life that is defiled because of that bitterness.

Pastor Josh:

Defiled means poisoned, messed up, corrupted.

Pastor Josh:

And so what ultimately can happen is when that root of bitterness starts in our hearts, it can start as a root, as it says there, but ultimately it can grow and defile us.

Pastor Josh:

Now, that doesn't mean that we lose our salvation, but what that means is that we're characterized by that bitterness in our heart.

Pastor Josh:

And so if we Go back to what Galatians chapter 6 says.

Pastor Josh:

Think about that root of bitterness.

Pastor Josh:

Now we'll go back to what Galatians chapter six says.

Pastor Josh:

It says, do it with meekness.

Pastor Josh:

Now, we talked this morning in our Sunday school class about what meekness is.

Pastor Josh:

But meekness is strength under control.

Pastor Josh:

Meekness is that understanding of knowing something, but yet having the ability to say, I don't need to exercise this, like someone has wronged me.

Pastor Josh:

I could chew them out, I could yell at them.

Pastor Josh:

I have every right to, within our human nature to do that.

Pastor Josh:

But I'm not gonna do that.

Pastor Josh:

That's what Jesus did.

Pastor Josh:

Don't you know that Jesus could have just basically gotten onto everyone that he walked by every single day, every single hour, like he could be walking down the street.

Pastor Josh:

Remember, Jesus knew everyone's mind.

Pastor Josh:

He could look at that person and go, that person's a hypocrite.

Pastor Josh:

I'm just gonna chew them out right now.

Pastor Josh:

That person over here is doing this.

Pastor Josh:

Jesus did have times where he spoke the truth in love.

Pastor Josh:

But there were times where Jesus held his mouth right.

Pastor Josh:

Jesus didn't address every single person that he came across.

Pastor Josh:

There were times that he picked, and there was times that were appropriate that he was able to exercise his strength.

Pastor Josh:

And it was strength under control.

Pastor Josh:

So that's how we deal with people that have wronged us.

Pastor Josh:

That's how we deal with people that have a disagreement with us.

Pastor Josh:

We do it with meekness.

Pastor Josh:

Why?

Pastor Josh:

We watch ourselves, lest we be tempted, lest we have that root of bitterness.

Pastor Josh:

Because let's say that person is angry with me and I don't respond with meekness.

Pastor Josh:

Guess what's going to happen?

Pastor Josh:

I'm going to be angry with them.

Pastor Josh:

And that cycle is going to just continue to grow, and that separation is going to continue to be there.

Pastor Josh:

And then it says, really?

Pastor Josh:

Verse 2, bear ye one another's burden.

Pastor Josh:

So it's done in meekness and it's done with selflessness.

Pastor Josh:

Not selfishness, but selflessness, meaning I'm putting the other person before myself.

Pastor Josh:

Can I bear your burden?

Pastor Josh:

It's seeing somebody that's fallen or struggling and saying, how can I help you?

Pastor Josh:

Now that's counter.

Pastor Josh:

Counterintuitive, right?

Pastor Josh:

If you're against me, then I'm done with you.

Pastor Josh:

You're cut off.

Pastor Josh:

But what does he say here?

Pastor Josh:

Bear ye one another's burdens and so fulfill the law of Christ.

Pastor Josh:

For if any man think himself to be something when he is nothing, he deceiveth himself.

Pastor Josh:

So a lot of times, in the midst of a conflict we go back to that self focus.

Pastor Josh:

And what does he say there in verse three?

Pastor Josh:

For if any man think himself to be something when he is nothing, he deceiveth himself.

Pastor Josh:

So we can deceive ourselves by saying that we are the focus in all of this.

Pastor Josh:

I take it personally, right?

Pastor Josh:

What the Lord is telling us here is don't take it personally.

Pastor Josh:

Use it as an opportunity for ministry.

Pastor Josh:

Use it for an opportunity to help them.

Pastor Josh:

But let every man prove his own work or test his own work, and then shall he have rejoicing in himself alone and not another.

Pastor Josh:

For every man shall bear his own burden.

Pastor Josh:

And we could go on in that passage, but we won't.

Pastor Josh:

But he goes down to say, I will go down to verse number 10.

Pastor Josh:

It says, as we have therefore opportunity, let us do good unto all men, especially unto them who are of the household of faith.

Pastor Josh:

Meaning we should look to do good to others, even if others are difficult to deal with.

Pastor Josh:

And so what I would tell you is, is this Paul, I think personally Paul and Barnabas could have sat down and said, hey, look, let's talk about John Mark.

Pastor Josh:

And maybe Paul could have explained to Barnabas, hey, here are my concerns.

Pastor Josh:

And John Mark could have been there.

Pastor Josh:

And maybe there could have been this opportunity for repentance right then and there.

Pastor Josh:

But we don't see that happening.

Pastor Josh:

Now I will go forward and say this.

Pastor Josh:

If you, if you go to, um, back.

Pastor Josh:

Let's go back to Acts chapter 15.

Pastor Josh:

Let's go back to Acts chapter 15.

Pastor Josh:

We're going to kind of jump ahead in our timeline here.

Pastor Josh:

If we jump ahead in our timeline, we're actually going to see that Paul does have some good things to say about John Mark when that happened.

Pastor Josh:

We're not entirely sure when his mind changed, I should say.

Pastor Josh:

But we do know when he says it.

Pastor Josh:

And we can actually find that passage of scripture in a couple of different places.

Pastor Josh:

And I know I got you turned in a lot of different places, but we could look at.

Pastor Josh:

Well, we could look at Colossians, chapter 4, verse 10.

Pastor Josh:

He mentions John Mark there and he talks about receiving him.

Pastor Josh:

But then really the main one that I would have you look at is 2 Timothy, chapter 4, verse 11.

Pastor Josh:

Obviously, you know, Paul wrote 2nd Timothy and he's writing it to Timothy, the young pastor.

Pastor Josh:

And in verse number 11, he says, only Luke is with me.

Pastor Josh:

And then he says, take Mark, this is the same John Mark, and bring him with thee, for he is profitable to me for the ministry.

Pastor Josh:

So the beginning of the story was Paul says, I can't Use John Mark.

Pastor Josh:

He's a burden to me.

Pastor Josh:

He's going to destroy our ministry.

Pastor Josh:

And whatever happened between that time and second Timothy, chapter four.

Pastor Josh:

What does Paul say?

Pastor Josh:

He says, take John Mark with you.

Pastor Josh:

He is profitable to me for ministry.

Pastor Josh:

He's beneficial for me for ministry.

Pastor Josh:

So in my opinion, I think that there was probably at some point in time Paul came to this understanding that there were valuable contributions to the work of God through the life of John Mark.

Pastor Josh:

We don't know if it was Mark who changed or Paul who changed his perspective.

Pastor Josh:

Probably God had to do a work in all of their life, let's say it that way.

Pastor Josh:

Paul probably had to work in the life of Paul Barnabas and John Mark.

Pastor Josh:

And through their maturity and through their time of understanding the word of God, Paul comes back and says, john Mark's a good guy.

Pastor Josh:

He's profitable for the ministry.

Pastor Josh:

You know, maybe I was a little bit harsh with him at the beginning.

Pastor Josh:

And that's.

Pastor Josh:

That's spiritual maturity.

Pastor Josh:

It's understanding to exercise meekness.

Pastor Josh:

There we see the meekness of God played out in the life of Paul.

Pastor Josh:

So Paul and Silas leave, though that's the end of the chapter.

Pastor Josh:

They leave and they depart.

Pastor Josh:

And Paul and Silas go and serve.

Pastor Josh:

And we know that God uses Paul and Silas for great things.

Pastor Josh:

We know that God uses Barnabas and John Mark.

Pastor Josh:

So this is.

Pastor Josh:

This is a lesson for us to know that even in the midst of our failures, God can still use us.

Pastor Josh:

It's not like you've ruined it.

Pastor Josh:

If you've had a conflict with somebody and you've messed up in that conflict, well, now God can't use you.

Pastor Josh:

No, God uses us in spite of our failures.

Pastor Josh:

And one of the things that I struggle with in my own life, I can be really honest with you tonight.

Pastor Josh:

I will always be honest with you.

Pastor Josh:

And I hope you understand that this sometimes takes a lot of risk for me.

Pastor Josh:

But let me tell you, there are times in my life where I struggle with my own failures.

Pastor Josh:

I sit there and I say, you know what?

Pastor Josh:

I can't believe I said that at that point.

Pastor Josh:

I can't believe I dealt with this person at this point.

Pastor Josh:

And it almost gets to the point where I'm like, can God even use me because of all these problems that I've had?

Pastor Josh:

But then you gotta go back and say, you know what?

Pastor Josh:

God is using me in spite of my failures.

Pastor Josh:

If God was selecting perfect people, he would not select any of us, right?

Pastor Josh:

Because the truth is that all of us have issues.

Pastor Josh:

All of us have problems.

Pastor Josh:

And so it's what it is, it's this.

Pastor Josh:

We don't wallow in our mistakes.

Pastor Josh:

You know what I mean by wallow?

Pastor Josh:

We don't just stay in there and woe is me.

Pastor Josh:

What do we do?

Pastor Josh:

We learn from our mistakes, right?

Pastor Josh:

We learn from our sin and we learn how we can grow and change from that and allow God to work on our lives.

Pastor Josh:

So it's like, you know, the classic story of, you know, when a little kid, you know, we try to tell our, you know, nowadays they have the little stops there for the electrical plugs.

Pastor Josh:

Like kids are not supposed to put their fingers in there, right?

Pastor Josh:

It only takes a child hopefully one time, if they ever did that, to know, hey, you know what I need to learn from that.

Pastor Josh:

I don't need to go back and say, you know what?

Pastor Josh:

I kind of, maybe it won't hurt me this time, maybe I'll do it again, right?

Pastor Josh:

It's kind of like touching the hot pan.

Pastor Josh:

How many of you at restaurants when they say, this is confession time?

Pastor Josh:

When they say, hey, this is a really hot plate?

Pastor Josh:

You know what I do every single time I go, I wonder how hot it really is.

Pastor Josh:

And I touch.

Pastor Josh:

And every time I'm like, woo, wow, that's hot.

Pastor Josh:

Every time I'm like, I don't learn my lesson.

Pastor Josh:

And the truth is that sometimes that's how we are as Christians, right?

Pastor Josh:

God gives us discipline in the midst of our mistake.

Pastor Josh:

And instead of growing from that and learning from that, we go right back to that well, and thinking that it's a better, it's going to be better this time.

Pastor Josh:

My fleshly decision is going to be better.

Pastor Josh:

Well, what we can see is that when we make mistakes, we have to learn from them spiritually, learn from them and grow.

Pastor Josh:

That's wisdom.

Pastor Josh:

Wisdom is applying the knowledge, right?

Pastor Josh:

We can have knowledge of God, we can have knowledge of his Word, but knowledge is not wisdom.

Pastor Josh:

Wisdom is the application of knowledge.

Pastor Josh:

I've always used this as an analogy for you.

Pastor Josh:

You guys will understand this.

Pastor Josh:

I grew up in Florida.

Pastor Josh:

We have a lot of like crazy wild animals there.

Pastor Josh:

How many of you have been to Florida and you saw a sign that, oh, I know some of you have been there, but let me finish.

Pastor Josh:

How many of you have been to Florida and then you saw a body of water and on the side of the body of water had like alligators, be careful, don't feed the alligators.

Pastor Josh:

Don't get, you know, don't go into the right.

Pastor Josh:

If you haven't seen that, they're all over.

Pastor Josh:

Okay, now Knowledge is okay.

Pastor Josh:

I know that there's alligators in this water.

Pastor Josh:

I know I shouldn't go into the water.

Pastor Josh:

I know I shouldn't at least have, like, food in my pocket and go into the water.

Pastor Josh:

That would be knowledge, knowing.

Pastor Josh:

You shouldn't do that.

Pastor Josh:

Wisdom would be staying out of the water, not doing it right.

Pastor Josh:

So there's some people that live in Florida that know that there are alligators in the water.

Pastor Josh:

They know that they could attack them, but yet they go, yeah, you know what?

Pastor Josh:

I'm still gonna go in.

Pastor Josh:

Okay?

Pastor Josh:

And that's why you see a lot of people that are attacked.

Pastor Josh:

Alligators aren't usually gonna jump out of the water, come into your front porch, and attack you.

Pastor Josh:

Okay?

Pastor Josh:

That's not how it goes.

Pastor Josh:

It's when you put yourself in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Pastor Josh:

Now, they're freak accidents.

Pastor Josh:

We know that.

Pastor Josh:

And there are people that don't know, you know, that you shouldn't walk a little dog right next to the water in the middle of the night.

Pastor Josh:

That's a red flag.

Pastor Josh:

Don't do that.

Pastor Josh:

Right?

Pastor Josh:

And so I say all that to say that there are some Christians who know intellectually that this is wrong.

Pastor Josh:

I know that conflict is wrong.

Pastor Josh:

I know that acting out of my flesh is wrong.

Pastor Josh:

I know that fighting these people, and I know that standing on my point is wrong.

Pastor Josh:

But.

Pastor Josh:

And then there's all these justifications that come with it.

Pastor Josh:

But you don't know what happened to me.

Pastor Josh:

You don't know how that person wronged me.

Pastor Josh:

And the truth is that I don't know.

Pastor Josh:

But what I can say is that the application of that knowledge is the wisdom.

Pastor Josh:

And God wants us to exercise our wisdom in our life.

Pastor Josh:

And, you know, and I think that that's one of the challenges as a Christian is to live in God's wisdom and not our own wisdom.

Pastor Josh:

And so we see at the end of Acts 15 that they went through Syria and Cilicia, confirming the churches.

Pastor Josh:

And so Paul continues on with the work.

Pastor Josh:

And so Paul is not a failure because that there was this division.

Pastor Josh:

Silas is not a failure.

Pastor Josh:

Barnabas is not a failure.

Pastor Josh:

John, Mark is not a failure.

Pastor Josh:

Silas was actually recognized as one of the leading men among the brethren in Acts 15.

Pastor Josh:

He was a prophet.

Pastor Josh:

He was someone who was used by the Lord in many ways in the ministry of Paul.

Pastor Josh:

And so this was Paul's work to go on.

Pastor Josh:

And he added to evangelism the strengthening of churches.

Pastor Josh:

New Christians need strong churches to grow in and mature in.

Pastor Josh:

And so what I would say is this what can we learn from this passage of scripture?

Pastor Josh:

Well, we can learn how to deal with biblical conflict, and we can also learn how not to deal with biblical conflict.

Pastor Josh:

We can also learn that the burden of the church should not just be evangelism, but also strengthening the folks that we've preached the gospel to before.

Pastor Josh:

One of my heartbeats is like, we need to preach the gospel to people, but we need to help them grow.

Pastor Josh:

I grew up in a situation in the way that my church was, that they were very, very strong in the gospel preaching message.

Pastor Josh:

They were very, very strong in that there wasn't a service where the gospel wasn't preached and there wasn't a comfort invitation.

Pastor Josh:

There wasn't a Saturday that we didn't go out.

Pastor Josh:

Passing flyers out and going door to door and knocking.

Pastor Josh:

And that was a good thing, not a bad thing.

Pastor Josh:

I'm not saying those are bad things, but what I am saying is that there can be a.

Pastor Josh:

I need to caution us to say that, hey, yes, we should preach the gospel, but we can't forget those people in the pew.

Pastor Josh:

Let me say it this way.

Pastor Josh:

There are people that are within churches in America.

Pastor Josh:

I'm not going to say this one, but I am going to say there are people in churches in America that have been in churches for decades and they still have not understood certain things of scripture because it hasn't been explained to them.

Pastor Josh:

And maybe they've even been misled because of certain things within the church.

Pastor Josh:

I would say as a church, we need to be open, be a berean.

Pastor Josh:

Right.

Pastor Josh:

I always encourage people to say, let's study this together.

Pastor Josh:

Let's look into this together.

Pastor Josh:

If you have a question, hey, look into the Word and see what the Word has to say.

Pastor Josh:

The moment that we start saying, don't look at that, you know what?

Pastor Josh:

Just let's move on.

Pastor Josh:

That's.

Pastor Josh:

That's not the way that we should be preaching the message.

Pastor Josh:

And so I would say that there is that understanding of grace and humility and meekness in our lives in conflict, but also in the church with spiritual growth.

Pastor Josh:

And so are you going to disagree with people?

Pastor Josh:

Sure.

Pastor Josh:

Is there going to be a time where you might need to separate from someone?

Pastor Josh:

Sure.

Pastor Josh:

But what I would say is that's not the first step.

Pastor Josh:

It's not the first step.

Pastor Josh:

Go back to that.

Pastor Josh:

Fight or flight.

Pastor Josh:

That's what we see within churches today.

Pastor Josh:

And I'm not here to say that every single person that has left the church is wrong.

Pastor Josh:

Not saying that.

Pastor Josh:

I actually think that there are biblical times for people to leave churches and go to other churches.

Pastor Josh:

That's going to happen.

Pastor Josh:

But what I am saying is that there is a biblical way to do those things, and there is an unbiblical way to do that.

Pastor Josh:

And the unbiblical way is the fight or flight mechanism.

Pastor Josh:

I'm either going to fight with the people in the church when they go against me, or I'm going to just leave.

Pastor Josh:

What I would encourage you to do is think about that understanding of Galatians, Chapter six.

Pastor Josh:

I would think about another passage of Scripture in Romans, chapter 12.

Pastor Josh:

Let your love be without hypocrisy, the simulation.

Pastor Josh:

I would think of another passage of Scripture in First Corinthians, chapter 13.

Pastor Josh:

One of the things that we should do is love other people within the church.

Pastor Josh:

I know that's like, what we say all the time, but that's biblically.

Pastor Josh:

Biblically, it's the agape.

Pastor Josh:

It's the love of sacrifice that should be seen in the church.

Pastor Josh:

Now, what does that look like?

Pastor Josh:

Some of us have heard First Corinthians 13 read at weddings, and certainly it applies to weddings, but it's more than just that.

Pastor Josh:

First Corinthians 13 is about how we should love other Christians.

Pastor Josh:

And one of the elements of love that's described in First Corinthians, chapter 13 is not to assume evil in other people.

Pastor Josh:

Okay, here's where we get into trouble the most.

Pastor Josh:

Let me just be honest with you.

Pastor Josh:

It's when we come into a situation assuming the worst in a person.

Pastor Josh:

Now, I've said this before.

Pastor Josh:

Could that person be doing terrible things to you?

Pastor Josh:

Possibly.

Pastor Josh:

Possibly.

Pastor Josh:

But when we think about that as our default mechanism because of what's happened to us before, what happens is that we then assume the worst in someone.

Pastor Josh:

And even if they haven't done that, or even if they don't think that we assume the worst and we get to a place where we're not loving them.

Pastor Josh:

Like, what if.

Pastor Josh:

What if I go.

Pastor Josh:

I always go back to my relationship with Alicia, and I know that some of you go, well, why you always talk about Alicia?

Pastor Josh:

She's the only wife I've got, so I gotta talk about her.

Pastor Josh:

Okay.

Pastor Josh:

If every single situation in our marriage, I just said, oh, she hates me, she didn't cook what I wanted her to cook for me tonight.

Pastor Josh:

How could we have a healthy relationship if I assume the worst in her every situation?

Pastor Josh:

If I love her, I must assume the best.

Pastor Josh:

She had a tough day.

Pastor Josh:

Kids were loud.

Pastor Josh:

The kids were yelling.

Pastor Josh:

You know, maybe she didn't have time to make my meal that I wanted to make or maybe, maybe, you know what?

Pastor Josh:

I didn't, you know, she came home and she wanted to talk to me.

Pastor Josh:

And I said, I talk for a living.

Pastor Josh:

I used to, when I used to teach school, I used to teach all day.

Pastor Josh:

So from like 8am to 3pm and then I coached from 3pm to 6pm I talked all day.

Pastor Josh:

And I like to talk.

Pastor Josh:

But there was a point in my day that I was just done talking.

Pastor Josh:

I was done talking.

Pastor Josh:

I didn't want to talk at all.

Pastor Josh:

I wanted to go home.

Pastor Josh:

I wanted to get my bag of chips after dinner.

Pastor Josh:

I wanted to turn my show on.

Pastor Josh:

And I just want to sit and just say, I just want to veg out.

Pastor Josh:

The truth is that she was home alone all day with a baby, home alone with kids, and she wanted to talk.

Pastor Josh:

She wanted to have a human conversation, an adult human conversation.

Pastor Josh:

And I'm going, well, she wants to bug me now.

Pastor Josh:

You know what that is?

Pastor Josh:

That's, that's, that's selfishness, right?

Pastor Josh:

And sometimes as Christians, we assume the worst than somebody else because they're coming to us with, with genuine concerns.

Pastor Josh:

I've done that as a pastor.

Pastor Josh:

Someone's come up to me with a genuine concern about the church and I've been like, oh, God, I can't believe they're questioning my, my leadership.

Pastor Josh:

And the truth is, is that they're not doing that.

Pastor Josh:

They're coming up with legitimate question, or maybe they are questioning my leadership, but I shouldn't assume that in the first step.

Pastor Josh:

And so that's how it goes when it comes to these conflicts.

Pastor Josh:

Now, whether or not Paul assumed that, we don't know.

Pastor Josh:

But we do know that there was that sharp contention that happened and that didn't need to be there.

Pastor Josh:

And so I would encourage you to think about that.

Pastor Josh:

Within the church, you're going to have conflicts.

Pastor Josh:

You're not going to agree with everybody, but what do you do?

Pastor Josh:

You deal with it with meekness, you deal with it with love.

Pastor Josh:

You deal with that with patience.

Pastor Josh:

You deal with that with bearing other people's burdens.

Pastor Josh:

You know, it would be so much different in our churches today if we just said, you know what, that person's having a bad day.

Pastor Josh:

I'm just going to overlook that.

Pastor Josh:

You know, we can overlook things.

Pastor Josh:

You don't.

Pastor Josh:

Every, every single slight in the church does not have to end in church discipline.

Pastor Josh:

Okay?

Pastor Josh:

It's kind of the same thing.

Pastor Josh:

Again with the marriage, right?

Pastor Josh:

If you have, there's sometimes in marriage you just overlook it.

Pastor Josh:

You don't have to have a sit down, come to Jesus moment.

Pastor Josh:

Every single time you have a disagreement on something, right?

Pastor Josh:

The same thing within the church.

Pastor Josh:

There are gonna be times within the church that we say, hey, you know what?

Pastor Josh:

I'm not even gonna let that bother me.

Pastor Josh:

But there's gonna be times where you can't do that and there's times that you can't just let it go.

Pastor Josh:

That's when we need to have this biblical confrontation, but a biblical loving confrontation.

Pastor Josh:

And so that's the story of the dispute between Paul and Barnabas.

Pastor Josh:

John Mark was at the core of it, but really it wasn't John Mark's fault.

Pastor Josh:

We just know that he had left.

Pastor Josh:

Now, again, there are going to be people that turn their back on you.

Pastor Josh:

There's going to be people that leave.

Pastor Josh:

There's going to be people that bail out in your ministry.

Pastor Josh:

There's going to be people that don't show up to a Bible study.

Pastor Josh:

There's going to be.

Pastor Josh:

I remember there were times we were running a ministry in Florida and there would be times where Alicia and I would show up and no one would be there.

Pastor Josh:

Do you know what we did?

Pastor Josh:

We had a date and we had a Bible study together, right?

Pastor Josh:

Because that was what it was.

Pastor Josh:

And you know what?

Pastor Josh:

We could have been mad.

Pastor Josh:

Next time I came back, I could have said all you people told me you were going to be there and you didn't come.

Pastor Josh:

And you know, but it was like, you know what it is what it is.

Pastor Josh:

We're going to keep doing this.

Pastor Josh:

We're going to keep doing this.

Pastor Josh:

And Micah asked me a really interesting question.

Pastor Josh:

Tonight we were coming here, it was like, it was like 5:30 and no one had showed up here yet.

Pastor Josh:

And it was dark.

Pastor Josh:

So in his mind he's like, church should have already started.

Pastor Josh:

He's like, dad, what if nobody comes tonight?

Pastor Josh:

Are we going to still have church?

Pastor Josh:

I said, son, people are going to show up.

Pastor Josh:

But even if they didn't, we would still have church.

Pastor Josh:

He's like, how would we do it?

Pastor Josh:

I said, well, I'd get up and I'd lead the music and you'd sing and then we'd have testimonies and I would preach you a message.

Pastor Josh:

And he was like, we would really do that?

Pastor Josh:

I said, we would really do that, right?

Pastor Josh:

Because this is what we're doing.

Pastor Josh:

We don't do it for people, we do it for the Lord.

Pastor Josh:

It's a lot better when there are people here.

Pastor Josh:

Like, I enjoy that you're here.

Pastor Josh:

I remember back in Covid, I had to preach to this little camera right here.

Pastor Josh:

And I'm trying to think, like, am I saying the right stuff?

Pastor Josh:

Because it's a lot easier to talk with people in front of you because you can play off.

Pastor Josh:

You can talk to people.

Pastor Josh:

You can play off the energy when there's just a camera there.

Pastor Josh:

It's like, man, I just don't know.

Pastor Josh:

I don't know if this is going well.

Pastor Josh:

And the truth is that there are times where we are tempted to quit because we don't see the result, right?

Pastor Josh:

We don't see it coming to fruition.

Pastor Josh:

But what I would say is just stay faithful.

Pastor Josh:

Stay faithful in what God has for you.

Pastor Josh:

And there's going to be people that say things against you.

Pastor Josh:

There's going to be people that dispute against you.

Pastor Josh:

But, you know, nonetheless, we have the opportunity to minister for the Lord, and so that's exciting.

Pastor Josh:

So we're going to come back next week, Lord willing, and we're going to start Acts chapter 16, and we're going to have this guy come in and join Paul and Silas named Timothy.

Pastor Josh:

We're gonna learn about this new guy named Timothy.

Pastor Josh:

And Timothy's an awesome character.

Pastor Josh:

Love Timothy.

Pastor Josh:

Young man, got a really interesting background, and I hope that it will be a blessing for you as we come along here.

Pastor Josh:

So, all right, let's go ahead and close in a word of prayer, and then after that, I'll have a few announcements and you'll be dismissed.

Pastor Josh:

Lord, we thank you for this time.

Pastor Josh:

We thank you for this opportunity to come here this evening to study your word.

Pastor Josh:

Lord, we're thankful for the reminders of what it means to be meek and gentle and loving and forgiving and patient in the midst of disputes.

Pastor Josh:

Lord, we thank you for the opportunity to know that you do give us hope.

Pastor Josh:

Lord, help us in the midst of silly disputes, Lord.

Pastor Josh:

Silly division.

Pastor Josh:

Lord, help us to get over our personal issues and help us to see the importance of the doctrines, the truths, the essentials.

Pastor Josh:

So, Lord, I pray that you keep us safe as we go our separate ways this evening.

Pastor Josh:

We thank you for this wonderful church that you've given us.

Pastor Josh:

We thank you for the opportunity to love you and to serve you here this week.

Pastor Josh:

We thank you and we give it all to you.

Pastor Josh:

We give all the glory to you.

Pastor Josh:

In Jesus name we pray.

Pastor Josh:

Amen.

Pastor Josh:

Thank you again for listening to the Middletown Baptist Church podcast.

Pastor Josh:

I hope that this sermon has been a blessing for you.

Pastor Josh:

If you would like to find out more information about our church or this sermon, you can find us at middletownbaptistchurch.org or find us on Facebook or YouTube.

Pastor Josh:

You can also email me directly at joshmissaroiddletownbaptistchurch dot com if you've enjoyed this podcast, please subscribe and follow along for future podcasts and updates.

Pastor Josh:

Thank you so much.

Pastor Josh:

God Bless.

Pastor Josh:

Have a wonderful day.

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