In this episode of Pleasure Principles, host Avik welcomes Christina Simmons, an integrative trauma therapist and Mind-Body Medicine Practitioner, for a tender and necessary conversation about touch, safety, and the body. Christina opens by naming the myth she wants to dismantle: that healing from trauma is only about pain, when pleasure is just as central to the process. From there, the conversation moves into what actually happens in the nervous system when touch has been learned as dangerous, from the quiet bracing and dissociation that show up in daily life to the specific ways trauma survivors keep people at a distance without meaning to reject connection.
What makes this conversation land is Christina's insistence on presence over performance. She walks through what it looks like to slowly rebuild trust around touch and intimacy, why radical honesty and going slow are non-negotiable parts of that process, and how co-regulation between two people can become the foundation for real safety. For anyone who has ever wondered why their body does not open the way they wish it would, this episode offers language, validation, and a gentle map forward.
About the Guest:
Christina Simmons, LCSW-C, LICSW, SEP, is an integrative trauma therapist and Mind-Body Medicine Practitioner who works at the intersection of trauma, somatic experiencing, and intimacy. She is the founder of Revitalizing Inner Self Essence® (RISE MD), where her clinical training in Somatic Experiencing and advanced trauma treatment is grounded in both clinical depth and human softness. Her work centers on helping trauma survivors reconnect with their bodies, rebuild trust around touch, and understand that healing includes the capacity for pleasure, not just the absence of pain.
Key Takeaways:
- Healing from trauma is not only about processing pain. Pleasure is a central, often overlooked, part of the healing process.
- When the body learns that touch is dangerous, it responds with a cascade of nervous system reactions, including bracing, dissociation, numbness, and physical withdrawal, often without the person consciously noticing.
- Someone bracing against touch does not mean they do not want connection. It means their nervous system has learned specific conditions are needed before touch can feel safe.
- Presence and sincerity, not technique or performance, are what first help a trauma survivor's nervous system begin to soften.
- Repairing trust around touch and intimacy requires compassion, radical honesty, going slow, and mutual co-regulation between both people in the relationship.
- A person who cannot voice a clear yes or no cannot meaningfully consent, which makes rebuilding the ability to say either one a core part of healing.
Connect With Christina Simmons:
Episode Chapters:
- 00:00 - Cold open: the silence carried by people who learned touch is not safe
- 01:14 - Welcome to Pleasure Principles and introducing Christina Simmons
- 02:19 - Christina's intention: debunking the myth that healing is only about pain
- 03:45 - What happens somatically when the body braces instead of receives touch
- 06:41 - What Christina wants clients to feel from her first: presence over performance
- 08:17 - How touch starts to register as a threat instead of a gift
- 13:12 - The quiet, everyday signs that someone does not feel safe in touch
- 16:34 - Why touch feels unsafe without meaning a person does not want connection
- 20:01 - Repairing trust around touch and intimacy inside an existing relationship
- 25:26 - How to connect with Christina Simmons
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