"There is nothing wrong with me." That's the phrase I heard over and over this summer, when I asked people to share the one piece of their Human Design that changed how they see themselves. This episode is part of the Summer of Self-Love series, and they share what part of their design, their type, their authority, a center, a profile, helped them finally stop trying to fix what was never broken.

*AI Note: Show notes written by AI

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You know those times you have a really

memorable conversation in your car?

2

Recently, my daughter and I

had such a conversation about

3

different religious beliefs.

4

We had just come from her summer softball

team's end of the s- season picnic,

5

and before we ate at the picnic, the

coach asked if he could say a prayer.

6

And at our house, we are a pretty

secular bunch, um, and we do say

7

a pretty secular sort of prayer

before dinner that my daughter

8

wrote when she was six during COVID.

9

It's, "Thank you for our farmers, thank

you for our home, thank you for our

10

family, and thank you for our bones,"

which actually sometimes ends up being,

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"Thank you for our doggy's bones."

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But we're not a religious family,

so when my daughter encounters

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people who are very religious, I'm

always curious what she thinks.

14

So back to the conversation in the car.

15

As we were talking, she said to me,

"Mom, I don't believe in all that

16

stuff, and I don't believe in your Reiki

weirdness, but I believe in Human Design."

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I had to do a double-take.

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She believes in Human Design?

19

I said, "Why do you believe in

Human Design and not other things?"

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And her answer was, "Because I know it's

real, and it helps me understand myself."

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I was speechless Hi, I'm Erica Voell, and

I am a decision mentor and Inner-Trust

22

guide, and I want to welcome you to

the Unfolding podcast, a space where we

23

explore what it looks like to really trust

yourself, say no without guilt, and live

24

your life like it actually belongs to you.

25

As a decision mentor and Inner-Trust

guide, I help women in midlife

26

untangle from the life patterns of

shape-shifting and keeping everyone

27

else happy, claim how they are uniquely

designed to make decisions, and

28

understand their unique strengths.

29

Using human design as a lens, we clear the

noise of conditioning so their no feels

30

powerful and their yes feels true, and

they can move forward without self-doubt,

31

guilt, or the pressure to prove anything.

32

On this show, we have honest conversations

about self-trust, boundaries, energy,

33

and identity, especially for women

in midlife who are done living by the

34

shoulds and second-guessing themselves.

35

If you have taken every personality

test, followed the recommended path,

36

and still can't shake that feeling that

you're spending your whole life trying

37

to fit in when what you really wanted

was to belong, you're in the right place.

38

You'll hear stories, insights,

and tools rooted in human

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design, coaching, and real life.

40

Not to tell you what to do, like

another self-help book, but to help you

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really hear yourself so you can stop

overthinking and start making decisions

42

that feel grounded, clear, and true.

43

So let's get back to the

story about my daughter.

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My daughter was telling me that

she believes in human design.

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That was a real mic drop for me.

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I talk about human design here and there

at home, and I use it as a tool to help

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me understand her and my husband better.

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She's learned that she needs to sleep on

her decisions and a few other things about

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her design that have resonated with her.

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I have never sat down for a full

chart session with her, because

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I know that it would probably be

overwhelming for her, and I wanna

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see how things play out in her life.

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So I dribble things here and

there that I know about her chart.

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But what was such a stunning

moment for me, with…

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Of all the things that she could believe

in, she believes in human design.

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She knows it helps her.

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When she was nine was when I first

discovered human design, and it's

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been around for a while for her,

and it's been four years of me

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sharing pieces of it with her.

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What I love so much about this is that

she's embraced these parts of herself,

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and instead of seeing something as a

flaw, she's learned that it's part of her.

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So some of the things many of us in

midlife were conditioned to believe that

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we needed to fix I, at 48, first read I

Have Nothing to Prove, and here she is 12.

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She's confident.

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She's a headstrong kid

that I was not at 12.

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And in the story of Behind the Summer

of Self-Love, the article and podcast

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episode, I talked about my relationship

with myself at her age, and I had so much

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self-criticism that she does not have.

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We've explored this summer about how

shame has shaped women's stories and

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how that has also shaped their inner

critical voice and how it's affected

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how they've shown up in the world And

as I've been working through the Summer

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of Self-Love, I've been reflecting a

lot on my own relationship with myself.

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When I've had some low periods this

summer, I've returned to my design and

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paid attention to how things are showing

up, particularly the challenging sides.

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Human design has become such an amazing

tool, not just for me, and my daughter,

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and my husband, but for others to develop

a deeper relationship with themselves, a

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more loving relationship with themselves.

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It's so powerful to not only acknowledge

the gifts we bring, but also to see where

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we're living in a challenge or a shadow

side of a particular aspect of our chart.

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I recently talked on a podcast episode

that I recorded for paid subscribers about

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how human design helped me love myself,

learning to say, "Can I get back to you?"

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instead of instantly saying yes,

and saying no more often to the

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point that people even noticed it.

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And one of the biggest lessons

for me was learning that I did

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not have to prove my worth.

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I interviewed 11 women about their

relationships with their inner critic,

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their journey of self-love, and they've

told their stories on Substack lives.

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I've also asked others, who I was

just curious to see if this was

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resonating with other people, both men

and women, about the parts of their

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design that helped them develop a

better relationship with themselves.

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This is not about shutting down the inner

critic or pushing them out the door, but

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this was about giving that inner critic

some reassurance of, "I've got this,"

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and reframing things in a loving way.

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And when I asked people to share one or

two pieces of their design that helped

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them develop that better relationship

with themselves, one phrase I heard

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over and over, and I actually hear

from clients too, is that they learn

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that there is nothing wrong with them.

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This is just how they are built.

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For some, it was learning about their

type, whether they were a Manifestor, or

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a Projector, or a Manifesting Generator.

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For others, it was learning their

decision-making authority, especially

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for those that have an emotional

decision-making process, learning how

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to ride out those emotional waves so

that they could come to a calm before

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they made a decision For others, it

was their quick sacral authority,

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that quick inner gut feeling.

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It's all different, and what

resonates most deeply for you may

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not resonate f- for someone else.

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For several people, it was learning

about a specific part of their chart.

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Three people shared that their undefined

identity center was what helped

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them fall in love with themselves.

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For others, it was their profile, the

numbers in the profile validating what

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they had been feeling their entire lives.

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And for some, it wasn't one particular

aspect, it was learning about their whole

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design and how it all fits together,

seeing that they are perfectly designed.

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So here are some of the stories

and some of the comments that I

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received that people shared, and

I think that they are so powerful.

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For those who are Projectors,

Jamie said the biggest aha for

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her was how different it is to be

a Projector in a Generator world.

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She said, "I see it so many ways.

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It changed my world to realize

I'm not a Manifesting Generator."

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Andrea learned that as a Projector, she's

not meant to work in the same terms of

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output and productivity as everyone else

Saying, "I felt so guilty and avoided

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rest when I felt drained and tired.

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Reframing what work means

for me was very empowering."

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And I heard from two Manifestors.

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Jill shared about her work as an

esthetician when clients would either

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vanish after one visit or stay for years.

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She said, "I used to think something

was wrong with my skill, my personality,

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or even my office setup, because

I worked with other estheticians

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who would have clients come and go,

or at least come more than once.

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Learning that it was not always me

that they were s- responding to, but

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to my energy, was actually a relief.

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It was really affecting my

self-worth and believing in myself.

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I thought I was broken."

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For Tommy Collier, it was realizing that

he had been conditioned to be a Generator.

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"Expecting myself to be consistent,"

he said, "to show up day after

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day at the same pace and level.

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A Manifestor is not

meant to be consistent.

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We operate in cycles

of creativity and rest.

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The days I feel I just don't have it

in me to perform, that's not me being

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broken, that's me being a Manifestor.

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I need to honor those cycles.

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That made me feel like I'm not strange.

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I can stop comparing myself to

everyone around me who's a Generator,

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who appears to have energy to burn."

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End quote.

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I heard stories that often come up for

Manifesting Generators again and again.

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I don't know how many Manifesting

Generators I've talked to who've said

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that they were told to pick one path

and follow it, or that they were flaky

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and then they c- because they couldn't

stick with one thing, or they had so

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many different interests, and that it's

natural for them to start a bunch of

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things and not necessarily finish them.

153

Jenn Gemma White used to think that she

was unmotivated, lazy, or incompetent.

154

Csilla Gergely spent years believing

that not finishing things was bad.

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And Erica Sardinha shared, "I

have many different interests.

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I am multi-passionate.

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I love starting a thousand things

and finishing maybe two of them.

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For years, I took that on

as something wrong with me."

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End quote.

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Alex shared that being a Manifesting

Generator brought a sense of absolution

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from guilt and bouncing from one

project to another without finishing it.

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They said, "It was just like a

permission slip to just follow my

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excitement instead of the pressure

to finish something, regardless of

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whether it was still fun or not.

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Instead of my unfinished projects

haunting me from my closet, they're

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just resting until I'm excited to

work on them again," end quote.

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And for those with an emotional

decision-making authority who need

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their time to make decisions, it

can be so easy to make themselves

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wrong for their low energy.

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Alex also shared a story very similar

to my own, saying, "Learning about

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the emotional waves made me feel

better about my low energy periods.

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Learning that the lows are sometimes

out of my control, and if I just honor

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those moments instead of resisting

or trying to figure out the logic or

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the why behind them, my lows became

much more manageable," end quote.

175

Cindy's understanding of her emotional

authority explained the pressure and

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the anxiety she feels when someone

wants her to make an immediate

177

decision and then regret it after,

because she's acted on impulse.

178

She said, "I now know my emotional

waves run for three to five days.

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It was such a game changer.

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Now I just tell my clients with

emotional authority to ride the wave.

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You'll always be happy you did.

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It allowed me to release the guilt of

debt and failure from always believing

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I needed to pay for that next course

or certification to validate my worth."

184

Sam Graber shared, "I feel like

understanding things from the

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inside, learning that my first

answer isn't always my truest answer.

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That used to feel like hesitation.

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Now I see it differently.

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I think I'm someone who

likes to let things settle."

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End quote.

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Jen Ohrman has a sacral authority,

which is to trust your gut.

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It's a quick decision-making process

that's instantly felt in the body.

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She said for her it was an awesome

validation of her squirrel nature,

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she's also a manifesting generator,

having multiple jobs because she

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was bored and wanted new things.

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She said, "I trust my hell yes and my hell

no decision-making now more than ever."

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When I asked this question,

what was one thing that changed

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your relationship with yourself?

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Three people, three people shared

that their undefined identity

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center was what helped them.

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For most of Leanne's life,

she didn't know who she was.

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She said, "I always took on the

energy, the personality, the

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direction of whoever I was around.

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It was like I was absorbing the

people around me and becoming them.

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That morphing didn't mean there

was something wrong with me.

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It was sensitivity.

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I was picking up the identity and

direction of the people around me,

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the way a satellite picks up a signal.

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It wasn't a flaw in my character,

it was how I was wired.

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All the searching and all the years

of trying to land on a fixed sense

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of self and never quite getting

there wasn't a failure either.

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I'm not designed to have a fixed identity.

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I'm designed to flow."

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End quote.

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Natalia shared that learning about

the shadow expression of her open

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identity center made her feel so seen.

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She said, "I had been trying to

figure out my one thing I want to

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pursue professionally, which actually

kept me stuck for a very long time.

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I now understand that there's

nothing wrong with me."

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And Becky Hobbs has an undefined

identity center, and she said it

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added to her realization that she

didn't have a fixed identity and

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could pick up on others' energy.

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Quote, "In their presence and

their energy, I would pick up

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on a certain aspect of their

identity and think it was mine."

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End quote.

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Sandra's relationship was shaped

by a specific channel, also known

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as a superpower in her design.

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She said, "There have been moments, years,

or months in my life when nothing was

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happening and it got hard to flow with it.

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I used to push myself to

make something happen.

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It is indeed a format that

conforms my whole life experience."

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End quote.

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One area that people shared more than

any other was related to their profile.

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Leanne, who we heard from earlier, who is

also a 5/1, known as the problem solver

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investigator, shared, "I learned that my

desire to step in and provide answers and

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step back out is not a negative thing.

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I'm not designed to be in the trenches

for the long haul, and going in and out

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isn't me being flaky and standoffish."

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Helena Marchetti, who is a 6/2 role

model and natural talent, said,

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"Before Human Design, I couldn't

understand why I didn't have the energy

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to engage with the outside world.

241

My days of begging for a seat at the

table were done, and I no longer wanted

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to be at anyone else's table but mine.

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I knew I had the gift or curse of

absorbing the energy of people around

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me, but I couldn't understand why.

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Now my presence for home and solitude

doesn't feel like a character flaw."

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End quote.

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Tammy McCrory, who has a 4/6 relationship

builder role model profile, shared,

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"I read my own loner streak as

proof something was wrong with me.

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I'd be surrounded by people who

genuinely loved me, and underneath

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it all, it still felt apart.

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I thought that meant I wasn't

loving people correctly or that

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I was defective at closeness.

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Learning my profile reframed all of it.

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Needing people and needing apartness are

not contradictions I failed to resolve.

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They're just the two lines I'm made up

of doing their job at the same time.

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I wasn't broken.

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I was reading two things about myself

as if only one of them could be real."

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End quote.

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And one thing I find so fascinating

is that four people who have the

260

line three in their profile shared

very similar experiences, and

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they're also unique experiences.

262

Becky Forsyth, who is a 1/3, which

is also known as the investigator

263

experimenter, shared, "I had definitely

spent years thinking that there was

264

something wrong with me, that I hadn't

found a path, especially as a career.

265

Human design brought light to the fact

that I'm a 1/3, and I'm not meant to be on

266

a specific path, but rather to experience

a lot of different things, learn from

267

them, share my learnings, and keep going.

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It has taken a lot of pressure off

finding the perfect career or work.

269

I now understand that

my journey is the path."

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End quote.

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. Therese Holden has a 3/5.

272

She's an experimenter and problem

solver profile, and she shared, "one

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of the harshest criticisms I had about

myself was not having followed the path.

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My life had been full of twists

and turns, and somehow knowing

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that was my design lifted a weight

I'd been carrying for a long time.

276

The feeling of being behind vanished.

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I was on my own timeline.

278

There was nothing wrong with me.

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I just hadn't learned to trust

my own authority and my design."

280

End quote.

281

Caroline shared that looking

at the three in her 3/5 profile

282

was a shock of recognition.

283

She said, "It reminded me that it was

really okay to be living life by getting

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out there and experimenting rather

than staying inside and dreaming."

285

End quote.

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And Jill shared, "I used to beat

myself up over past mistakes,

287

even ones I made as a kid.

288

Once I learned about my line three, it

placed a new lens on those moments, and I

289

no longer felt shame or guilt over them.

290

I have a brighter outlook on challenges."

291

I think that's what's so powerful

about understanding our design,

292

feeling that there's nothing wrong

with us, that we've spent so much of

293

our lives trying to fix ourselves.

294

Trying to fix parts of ourselves

that we thought were broken.

295

And I'm gonna leave you with a quote

from Michelle Marie Neyers that I

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think really sums up all of this.

297

She said about her experience, quote,

"As I sat on my couch surrounded by my

298

Human Design charts and textbooks, I

received what felt like a telepathic

299

wake-up call in the form of a question.

300

'What if the body you have is perfectly

designed for what you're here to do?'

301

When that question first came

into my conscious awareness,"

302

she said, "I was stunned.

303

I immediately knew that I was

hearing truth, with a capital T.

304

After decades of relating to my body

as something that was broken, that

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needed fixing, that needed constant

improvement, those thoughts vanished.

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They've not returned since that moment."

307

End quote.

308

And for me personally, Erica, I will say

that has been a huge aha moment for me

309

too is, like, I am perfectly designed.

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But I will say that those thoughts,

those inner critic thoughts have not

311

vanished completely, and that's okay.

312

This is a journey.

313

I w- I'm a work in progress.

314

The second half of my life is all

about learning to love myself.

315

I think what most surprised me about

this when I got everybody's quotes

316

together was how accurate Human Design

was for each person, like, validating

317

their lived experiences, giving them

words for things that they had felt

318

and never been able to describe.

319

And as my daughter

said, "I know it's real.

320

It helps me understand myself."

321

So if this episode resonated

with you, I'd be so grateful if

322

you would click the plus sign to

subscribe and share it with a friend.

323

You can also find me on Substack, where

I publish articles, host workshops, and

324

share about human design and midlife.

325

You can also find other articles

that are part of the Summer of

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Self Love series on Substack.

327

I'm so grateful you're here.

328

Thanks for joining me.

329

Be well