Samantha and Melissa open the floor to a candid discussion that takes a humorous turn as they tackle the often taboo subject of of certain health procedures. The conversation shifts to the normalization of medical procedures, the unexpected humor that can arise in discussing bodily functions, and the importance of taking time off for self-care—even when it feels undeserved. With playful banter, they highlight how societal pressures can lead to embarrassment over health issues, and how sharing these stories can foster a sense of community and understanding among friends.

The episode evolves into a light-hearted exploration of Thanksgiving traditions, where they touch on the challenges of accommodating dietary preferences and familial expectations during the holidays.

The hosts dive into a particularly contentious Thanksgiving situation involving a family member who insists on a completely vegan meal, leading to a broader conversation about family dynamics, expectations, and the importance of compromise in maintaining relationships. Listeners are treated to a lively debate on the need for open communication around holiday gatherings, especially when it comes to food. Samantha and Melissa encourage listeners to embrace diversity in traditions and recipes while maintaining a spirit of inclusivity. They also emphasize the importance of boundaries in familial relationships, particularly when it comes to respecting one another's choices and values, all while keeping the tone light and relatable.

The hosts remind listeners of the importance of love and acceptance in dealing with life’s awkward moments, whether it’s a medical procedure or a family gathering. They encourage their audience to share their own Thanksgiving stories, opening the door for a dialogue that extends beyond the podcast. With a blend of sincerity and playful wit, Samantha and Melissa create a space where listeners can feel seen and heard, inviting them to reflect on their own experiences and the humorous side of life’s challenges. As they navigate through serious topics with a light-hearted touch, they embody the essence of friendship and support, making this episode a must-listen for anyone who has ever felt overwhelmed by the pressures of health and family during the holiday season.

Takeaways:

• Samantha shares her embarrassment about a medical procedure, but finds comfort in knowing others have experienced it too.
• The podcast discusses the challenges of family dynamics during Thanksgiving, especially with differing moral values.
• A dilemma about accommodating vegan family members highlights the complexities of holiday meals.
• Samantha and Melissa emphasize the importance of family acceptance, regardless of biological ties or dietary choices.
• The hosts reflect on the significance of creating space for everyone's traditions during holiday gatherings.
• Humor and lightheartedness play a central role in discussing serious topics like health and family issues.

Lottie Don't Lie: There is Room For Everyone At The Table

because it's Lottie and Lottie don't lie.

Samantha: What's up skirt up squad? It is Samantha.

Melissa: And Melissa.

Samantha: And we are here for another round of Lottie Don't Lie.

Melissa: She don't, she don't lie.

Samantha: No, she's just gotta tell it how it is. I'm gonna actually tell you guys how it is right now

Melissa: How is it you tell me?

Melissa: It's just a body part

Samantha: Yeah a lot of them were like Oh, I had to do that in my 20s Like I had to do that in my like when I was 30 and i'm like, oh so it's not that gross and it's not That weird and so i'm like, huh? I guess I just had never heard someone talk about it and So I'm doing a gross thing that I guess is not gross.

Melissa: Yeah, no the doctor's doing the gross thing you're asleep for it

Samantha: Man, what's wrong with Doctors?

Melissa: Right? What kind of kink is that?

Samantha: Okay, but okay, so I find it to be a negative that I had to do that but in a twisted

Melissa: twist of fate

Samantha: shit of events

Melissa: We got really, really funny earlier you guys, you missed it, but we had a lot of poop jokes

Samantha: Oh, we sure did. It was really funny and it was just on a roll

Melissa: we were. I wish we were recording then

Melissa: Oh my goodness,

Samantha: On the road, but on a positive note, even though I don't need a validation or like a reason But it helps me feel like I can take two days off and do whatever I want for fun.

Melissa: Yes, actually because I was, I was just re listening to our episode that we dropped of with Jill.

Samantha: Uh huh.

Melissa: And that was one of the things was reminding yourself that you aren't tied, your value shouldn't be tied necessarily to the things that you got accomplished.

Samantha: Mm hmm.

Melissa: But sometimes you do have to trick yourself and like give yourself like an excuse or a reason

Samantha: Yeah, yeah.

Melissa: To sit back and just take some alone or quiet time.

Samantha: Yeah.

Melissa: And if this is what's working for you.

Samantha: Mentally, like literally, I know that that, it doesn't have to be a medical procedure that warrants some rest.

Melissa: Right.

Samantha: And some mean time. But it helps it feel better.

Samantha: So, anyone else who is young, um, getting a colonoscopy or having to shit in a bowl and then scoop it out. Did you have to do that?

Melissa: I don't remember that.

Samantha: Oh, did I just out you? I'm sorry.

Melissa: No, you're fine. She's like, I did not shit in a bowl and I did not scoop it out. Who did

that? Um, yeah, tell us who's done it with us.

Samantha: Yeah, it's not, we'll see how scary it is.

Melissa: It's not.

Samantha: I don't really know what to expect.

Melissa: It'll be fine.

Samantha: I think it's the unknowing of like the results.

Melissa: For sure. For sure,

Samantha: but we'll find out so it is normal to get a colonoscopy at any age.

Melissa: Yeah, totally We're all gonna be there for you. Not like in person obviously.

Samantha: No, no, Melissa Do you have something shitty to share?

Melissa: Do I have something shitty to share?

Samantha: Is someone full of shit that you just want?

Melissa: Shoot now you're putting me on the spot, but I guess that's what we do.

Melissa: Crap.

Samantha: Oh yeah, I said something about it's been a crappy.

Melissa: No, she said what's been cracking me up and I said well has it been crapping you up?

Samantha: That's right.

Melissa: Anyway. No, yeah, you guys just let us know we're not alone I suppose. We've all been there. And if you haven't, it's going to happen at some point. Because like, it's literally, it's just a body part. And it's something we have to take care of ourselves.

Samantha: Yeah.

Melissa: Anywho. Lottie, don't lie.

Samantha: Mhmm.

Melissa: Yep. She has a couple things for us today. So In

Samantha: the light of Thanksgiving.

Melissa: Yep, in light of thanksgiving.

Samantha: Coming up. We thought that it would be nice to have some conversations that I think a lot of us are having and having to decide. As Thanksgiving and the holidays are coming up.

Melissa: Yeah.

Melissa: I do. So, okay. Let's, we have two, we have two really fun little, um, stories.

Samantha: We couldn't decide. Yeah, I thought they were both really important.

Melissa: I agree. Um, okay, so the first one, the poster , she's talking about how she is the one preparing Thanksgiving at her home, but her brother and his girlfriend have refused to come if everything's not going to be vegan.

Samantha: Meaning that no one can eat meat or anything that is besides vegan. Yeah.

Melissa: Yeah.

Samantha: So like. Everyone has to eat vegan.

Melissa: Everybody. So, what happened was, um, the, it kind of, they knew, they knew that the boyfriend, or the, sorry, that her brother and his girlfriend were vegan. And, uh, the girlfriend started sending a bunch of recipes to the original poster.

Samantha: I think when you were telling me earlier, you also had made a comment that You said that the original, , poster had said that, just kind of irritated me. You said that,

Melissa: I think I know where you're going with this.

Samantha: So the original poster also said that her parents, so the, her mom and dad, the brother's mom and dad, are also telling her to just do a full vegan meal. mom wants to keep the peace and feels like she's choosing a traditional Thanksgiving meal over family.

And then I feel like there were using some sort of like health complications to like manipulate.

What's really unfair is that it is the OP, like it's, it's all on her to do all of this. And I don't understand that part. Um, that. For me, when I'm going to somebody's house and they're providing for me and they're doing all the work, I'm not gonna sit there and be like, this is how it needs to be done.

Right?

Samantha: Yeah. Um, I cannot find a time anywhere, even with our family, where it would be appropriate to say, if you don't do this, I will not be doing this.

Melissa: Yeah, an ultimatum.

Melissa: Yeah, it's very controlling, isn't it?

Samantha: Yeah, and then why does everyone feel like the daughter has to cave? Why is everyone catering to the son? So then that makes me feel like there's also Yeah, like, like, uh, what do they call that? Mama's boy? Like, I, that's not fair either.

Melissa: No, you're right, actually. I hadn't really thought of it on that, in that, in those terms.

, there is something else going on there, you're right. The, okay, let's take it back a step. Let's try to look at it from the other side. So, Vegan. He's saying that he's gone vegan for ethical reasons.

Samantha: Okay.

Melissa: And, I have a bleeding heart for animals. Right?

Samantha: Are you vegan?

Samantha: Yeah, yeah. I think anyone can agree.

Melissa: Like the meat and the chicken. So, I understand like the humane, the inhumane side of things and wanting to kind of only support good things. I don't think that it's fair though to take my beliefs and make somebody else have to either agree with them or, um.

Samantha: Facts?

Melissa: Yeah, or like support. them in the same way that I do.

Samantha: Mm hmm. And I think it was more than nice to say, I will make you a vegan option, rather than saying, hey, I'm doing this for everyone because that's what we all eat. You're more than welcome to bring your own dish, because I think that I wouldn't have taken that on because I don't know how to cook vegan, and I don't want to fuck it up and be the one responsible for it, like.

Melissa: So, it's funny that you, okay, you just reminded me apparently the brother and the girlfriend live in a van. Probably down by a river.

Samantha: That sounds like a hippie vegan thing to do.

Samantha: You don't pay for that.

Melissa: I don't think it's fair for them to impose their beliefs on somebody else.

Samantha: That's dictatorship. Don't go for it.

Melissa: That's right.

Samantha: I'm an asshole. You're not the asshole.

Don't cave.

Melissa: No, she doesn't, yeah. No, I mean, I, I, I, and honestly, I don't, when you say don't cave, like, I, she already was conceding. She already was being nice and trying to cut it in the middle.

Samantha: Uh uh. I wouldn't cave anymore. That's ridiculous. It's my holiday, too.

Melissa: Yeah, that's right You don't just get holidays during colonoscopies.

I Will be personally offended if you ruin my Thanksgiving with that vegan shit if you are vegan I'm not saying your shit FYI, I Just don't want to eat it.

Samantha: there is.

Melissa: Look at that little, that was a perfect little saying for this.

Samantha: Spread of knowledge. Did I just make another funny?

Melissa: Spread, uh huh, I see what you did there.

Samantha: Spread the cheeks, food of spreads.

Melissa: Spread the cheeks! Oh no, it did have some multiple meanings that I didn't realize. Nicely done. Nicely done.

Samantha: Thanks. Full of it.

Melissa: Yeah.

Samantha: On another note, you have another one that seemed equally as important.

And I think regardless who you are, someone's going to relate to one or the other.

Melissa: Yes, all right. So, actually, you know what? Speaking of regardless who you are relating to one or the other, for all of our vegan listeners, I hope that you're not, we weren't trying to offend you in any way. Um, and I would be curious to know what you guys think.

Melissa: That, that you can partake of and still be with family.

Samantha: Yeah, yeah, that's an interesting question.

Melissa: Yeah. Okay, so back to the new one. So the new one, yeah, I do also think is another very important one. So, um, So, this one, the poster, is a female. She is married to another woman, and they, that woman came into their relationship, they've been together about 8 years, um, with children. And so, whenever they first started dating, the children were about 2, 4, and 8.

Samantha: And they were fostering, correct?

Melissa: No, They were her girlfriend's children.

Samantha: Oh, okay. For some reason I thought they were fostering and then she adopted, but they were the other woman's child and she adopted them.

Melissa: Yeah, once they actually, like, solidified,

Samantha: got married. Oh, okay, okay.

Melissa: Like, they wanted to make, become a whole family.

Samantha: Okay, okay, that makes sense.

Samantha: they were older

Melissa: all of them sitting there now They're all sitting there, and the they the grandparents said no, they're not our real grandchildren This is our first grandchild And so we're going to spoil her. Um, so immediately , one of the moms, , got up and took the kids out to the car and the daughter of, the two said grandparents, she just confronted them and she said that, like, why would you say that?

And they just, they held their ground. They stood their ground. So, um,

Samantha: then basically it ended with, um, We aren't spending Thanksgiving with you. If that's how you feel.

Melissa: Oh, yes. Thank you. That's the Thanksgiving part, right? It was yeah, like, you know what? Honestly, if you can't see that these children are your grandchildren, then why we are not gonna be here for that.

Samantha: Oh, that's right. And then they told her don't ruin thanksgiving, our granddaughter's first Thanksgiving.

Melissa: Oh yeah, they said don't ruin our grandbaby's first Thanksgiving.

Samantha: That is wild.

Samantha: Um, First of all as someone of a blended family or with a blended family

Melissa: Yeah, actually I was excited to hear what you would have to say.

Samantha: Um unintentionally I remember When nora was first born and unintentionally Simon had made a comment to a stranger of like, oh, yeah, this is my first baby and That turned into a discussion. I was like, i'm sorry Why did you just tell that lady that that was your first baby? Child, like I'm really confused because you've been with my kids for a long time and he was like, oh I didn't mean it that way.

Melissa: Totally. No, that's really got to be painful because those kids know, they don't know it. Even if they did have other grandparents, which they don't. These are their grandparents. They see them as grandma. Nana and Pop Pop is what they call them.

Samantha: That's even more intense than, like, what I'm explaining. Because that's, you think, they, they know. You know, you, you consider them family. So that would be really fucked up. And I think that that could cause some huge trauma to hear randomly that, Oh, we're not your grandchildren. I'm confused. Yeah.

Melissa: And like, I mean, so they know that they're adopted. So the, um,

Melissa: Yeah, exactly.

Samantha: And Grandpa. So, it's not like it was just not their choice to accept the kids.

Melissa: Right.

Samantha: They accepted that. Right. So, it's really fucked up, and I, I wouldn't, I wouldn't take my kids to that Thanksgiving.

Samantha: How would your sisters feel?

Melissa: If, if they had, they understand, but what, what they would understand because I'll even have in talking to them, I'll have said things like, oh yeah, and my dad, and I was like, wait, our dad. And so like, they understand, like, is there's certain things that don't come easy, but you like with Simon, where Simon was able to step back and be like, wait a minute, you're right. That's all that's needed. That's all that's needed is for us to try to do better.

Samantha: And he's never done it again. Yeah.

Melissa: Yeah,

Samantha: I think that does make a difference.

Melissa: Yeah, so I don't think that anybody is saying that.

Samantha: Like, even when I'm being a bitch and I'm like, my child feels blah blah blah. He goes, I'm sorry, our child? Yeah. And like, you know, we'll be talking about Amelia or Logan or something. hmm. Okay.

Melissa: Yeah.

Samantha: Alright. I'll stop being a bitch. ,

Melissa: but yeah, exactly. Like of course no one's asking us to be, or we're not saying that they need to be perfect.

Samantha: the mothers

Melissa: be a real fricking part of their lives.

Samantha: The mothers need to do what's right by their children and not stand for that division 'cause that's

Melissa: Mm-Hmm.

Samantha: I would start considering some separation. from the family and I don't know if that's just harsh.

Melissa: Especially because, well, they're really, really holding their ground though.

Samantha: Yeah.

Melissa: It's not even like they're trying to come back and the grandparents aren't even trying to come back and say.

Samantha: So like you said earlier, let's put ourselves into the grandparents shoes.

Melissa: Okay. Okay,

Samantha: so we have two children. We've been raising children or welcoming children into our lives. Now we have a biological child in our life. What do we feel?

Samantha: Question.

Melissa: Yes,

Samantha: okay You share full DNA with your brothers. Yeah, you share partial DNA with your sisters Yeah, do you ever feel more connected and more like your Full brother's kids are more your niece and nephew than your sisters. Or,

Melissa: oh, interesting. Yeah, no, because Christy's kids, like, now No, I saw Christy's kids way more when I lived in Texas. Um, no, I love them. They're my nieces and nephews.

Samantha: It doesn't matter how long you knew them, it doesn't matter whose they are. No.

Samantha: Yeah.

Melissa: And I'm not going to care where they came from and who, you know. Like so yeah, I don't think it's fair. I don't think I can fully try to understand what the way They're thinking there's only a beginning part of it where i'm like Eh? No, but then you have to check yourself.

Melissa: me either

Samantha: I just can't fathom how that would make a difference.

Melissa: Right.

Samantha: Who's yours and who's not.

Melissa: How can you go back and start saying like, wait, they're not really our kids though.

Samantha: Yeah. I don't know. That's all kinds of fucked.

Melissa: Yeah, absolutely the mothers need to start like, forming like, Either some separation or just setting up a a safe space for their own family.

Samantha: Yeah, it makes me really mad

Melissa: tell us what you guys think.

Samantha: Yeah, tell us how are you handling that. But let us know what personal Thanksgiving dramas you are handling. Do you have a personal Thanksgiving?

Melissa: I have a funny.

Samantha: You have a funny?

Melissa: Yeah.

Samantha: That you're personally going through?

Melissa: So, no, not personally right now. But, um, one of my best friends and I, like, we would always do Thanksgiving together. And it was our favorite holiday.

Samantha: Aww.

Samantha: Stop it.

Melissa: Was it like the recipe that you were responsible for bringing? Probably. Oh my god I don't know for sure what it was, but it was it's just hilarious and it's true Look We are fucking good cooks and Thanksgiving is like, it's more than just a holiday to us, but at the same time, everyone has their own traditions and I'm just laughing so hard, I'm like, how are you going to tell them that they can't bring what was important to them? Hey, you know what, I'm not judging either way. Cause I,

Samantha: two things. That goes back though to what we just talked about. That is so funny. You can't make people conform to like, what is your normal?

Melissa: Well, they still came.

Samantha: I have a feeling I know who that is and I am disappointed.

Melissa: Yeah?

Samantha: Because do not make them conform to your,

Melissa: to your normal?

Melissa: Everyone stuck to eating their own? Just kidding.

Samantha: No, everyone tried every, I didn't. Everyone else tried a little bit of everything and I just was like, this is weird. You eat this? Uh, why, why? Like, oh, okay, what do you do with this? I'm like, oh, this is weird, but I'm glad you have it.

Melissa: It's so funny. Yeah, I mean like, I say no harm, no foul. The friend laughed it off. And wanted to be there anyway.

Samantha: What a trooper.

Samantha: Okay, but that's also you guys expecting that They're also a good cook and that's going to taste equally as well when like if they would have brought their own

Melissa: Wait. It wasn't me Don't say you guys

Samantha: if They could bring their own personal dish. That's probably their expertise and that's probably going to be top knotch

Melissa: even better

Samantha: Yeah, they've already had experience with it

Melissa: honestly, I just think it's like being able to open up and let like more cultures come in but You Hey,

Samantha: you know, I'm not critiquing.

Melissa: I have a feeling that this person has grown since then. And I might be wrong. Maybe they'll be like, hell no, we're eating the same thing still every year.

Samantha: That is so funny,

Melissa: but, it is funny

Samantha: I'm not really mad about it.

Melissa: I know you're not.

Samantha: I'm being silly.

Melissa: You are hilariously silly.

Melissa: Oh no! In one day

Samantha: And I was like, what? And he goes, I don't, why are people skipping the best holiday?

Melissa: You're, logan, you are so on it. I am with you. It's the freaking best holiday.

Samantha: Yeah, he was like, why aren't people putting up Thanksgiving stuff?

Why are they skipping Thanksgiving? It's all the food, all the family, and they're skipping Thanksgiving. I'm sick of it. And I just was staring at him and I was like, Oh, okay, tell me how you really feel, alright,

Melissa: that's interesting.

That's funny. I am all about the food as well. Um, okay, now I'm gonna go back and be my little politically correct self too. Of course there's aspects of Thanksgiving that are not politically correct and that make me sad. However, For me, it's about the food.

Samantha: I thought you were about to go somewhere like really dark or something.

Samantha: in a. In a non judgy, aggressive way. Yeah. I feel like if you tied Thanksgiving to just the history of it, but you still love Christmas. Yeah. Christmas is Christian.

Melissa: It's not though.

Samantha: No?

Melissa: The Christian was

Samantha: Stop it!

Melissa: Christians stole it from paganism. Like, Christians didn't even start with

Samantha: Stop it! No! Are you serious?

Melissa: I'm 100 percent serious.

Melissa: I broke you?

Samantha: Shattered my brain.

Melissa: Uh oh. Yeah, sorry. So, um, Christmas has also, has been, um, what's the word, appropriated by Christians. But no, that's like, that's fine though, like, that's what, that's what they want to use to celebrate the birth of Baby Jesus and that's fine.

Samantha: So after this episode, can you pull me information on this?

Melissa: Sure.

Samantha: Like now I need it.

Melissa: Yeah,

Samantha: I'm literally speechless

Melissa: like the the christmas tree like that's from paganism. Like that's a bough

Samantha: I can actually see that

Melissa: you put up

Samantha: paganism that's technically like the worship of plants like living.

Melissa: No, I got to do some more research on what paganism is Don't never mind. I'm not gonna try to pretend I know what it is exactly.

Samantha: Okay, we're gonna look that up because I mean I'm literally so curious.

Melissa: Yeah, lets look it up,

Samantha: like I have never heard of this.

Samantha: Yeah, right. That's all I've ever really thought about it So it was really interesting that you were taking it Um, in the direction of I don't believe in the history, but I like the food and the family and it's like, yeah. And I was like, that's what I've always done. So then I was just thinking, well, if you don't agree with the history of that, but love celebrating it, what about Christmas?

Melissa: Same.

Samantha: And I just hadn't,

Melissa: I don't agree with the history, but I'll celebrate it.

Samantha: I had no idea.

Melissa: But yeah, it actually didn't start Christian. That's true.

Samantha: Huh? All right. Well, learn something new every day. I'm going to start looking that up. And what, like, What are your guys's opinion? I have not heard that before. I'm excited to learn that.

Melissa: Let's look it up. Let's, let's do some fact checking,

Samantha: fact checking, look in a book.

Okay. yeah,

Samantha: I'm not going to do the book thing. All right. That is Lottie. Don't lie.

Melissa: That's right.

Samantha: And she did not lie because we're going to look it up on Google.

Melissa: Yes. Thank you. Yeah. Don't hold me. I, that's why I'm like, I'm not going to do it.

Describe paganism...

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