Do you ever feel more stressed before going on leave than during your actual workweek—simply because you’re worried your team won’t function without you?

If taking a holiday makes you anxious about messages, decisions, or potential crises your team might face without you, this episode helps you understand why that stress isn’t about the season—it’s a sign that your team may be relying on you more than they should, and what you can shift to reclaim real rest and healthier leadership.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• How to identify the hidden signs that your team depends on you instead of feeling empowered to lead.
• Why your availability during leave is linked to your leadership habits, not your team’s capability.
• Practical shifts you can make now so your team grows stronger—and you can finally disconnect without fear.

Press play now to learn how to step away with confidence and create a team that thrives—even when you're on holiday.

Watch on YouTube Here

What Is Your Leadership Style?  Free Quiz:

Want to know how to lead better?  It starts by understanding your leadership style.   To find out yours, take my free quiz “What Is Your Leadership Style” - you’ll immediately find out your default style, how it may be impacting your team and a few practical ways to become an even better leader.  Just click on the link fill out your quiz and click submit.

This podcast empowers international development and humanitarian NGO UN leaders to achieve high performance teams, fostering diversity, inclusion, and wellbeing, overcoming burnout and overwhelm, while maximizing impact and productivity.

Have you ever noticed that the idea of going on holiday

or on leave sometimes feels more stressful than even being at work?

Maybe the thought of being offline tightens your stomach, or maybe you wanna

keep your phone within reach just in case.

Or maybe you've already resigned to yourself, that the fact that

you're on leave won't really mean that you're on leave at all.

Here's the uncomfortable truth.

If you can't step away without everything falling apart, you're

not leading, you are managing.

And today I'm gonna show you why the holiday season is actually the

perfect time to test your leadership.

And the surprising red flags that reveal when your team

has become dependent on you.

Hello, my friends and welcome to the Modern Humanitarian and

Development Leader podcast.

I'm your host, Torrey Peace, Leadership Coach to the Modern

Humanitarian and Development Leader.

And today we're gonna talk about something very real for this season.

Why going on leave can feel very stressful and what it reveals

about your leadership style.

So this time of year, many of you are preparing for a well-deserved break.

But for some leaders, the holiday season brings a different feeling.

So maybe you're dreading going on leave, not because you don't want to rest,

but because you won't get it anyway.

You can picture it now.

Maybe your phone buzzing while you're trying to relax or having to check

WhatsApp or Teams constantly just to be safe or mentally preparing to

step in so your team avoids disaster.

And you might think, well, this is just part of being a leader.

This is just part of having a team.

But what if it's not?

What if that holiday stress is actually a leadership signal, a sign

that your team has become dependent on you rather than empowered by you?

Many leaders try to solve this by doing what feels logical.

So they tell themselves, I'll stay available, or I'll check my messages, or

I'll just delay things until I return.

These are all things we tell ourselves when we think that

our team needs us to be there.

But all of these are just coping mechanisms.

They aren't addressing the real issue and the real issue is this,

your team is dependent on you.

Dependency grows when your team is used to : you telling them what to

do, you approving every decision, you solving every problem, or you stepping

in whenever the going gets tough.

Yes, this can help in the short term, but in the long

run it slows down their growth.

And yours too.

It increases your workload and empowers and makes your burnout almost inevitable.

Empowered teams can operate without you.

Managed teams can't.

Here are 4 red flags that show up this time of year, and they reveal

whether you've been empowering your team or managing them into dependence.

So let's get to it, shall we?

Here are the 4 signs.

Number 1, you plan to stay available over your leave.

In other words, you feel like if your holiday plan includes checking

your messages or being available on some level, just in case, it's

a sign that your team relies on you for knowledge, answers, or approval.

Sign number 2, things don't move forward unless you're around.

So if you come back from leave and everything is the same or even worse,

nothing is done, it means your team is waiting for you to take action.

That's management mode, not leadership mode.

Number 3, you can't leave someone in charge.

If you don't trust anyone on your team to lead in your absence, or they don't

trust themselves, that is a clear sign that they have not been empowered to grow.

Leaders produce other leaders, managers produce dependency.

And then finally, sign number 4 is you feel anxiety about what

might happen when you're gone.

So if you have thoughts like, my team can't handle this without me, or I need

to be available in order for them to function, that's not a workload issue.

That's a mindset issue, and it's revealing a deeper truth.

That your team is used to depending on you, rather than thinking for themselves.

Let me share a story that I see versions of again and

again in my leadership program.

A former student once told me that he never took leave.

He avoided it altogether, not because he didn't want to rest,

but because he believed that if he stepped away and he wasn't available,

everything would fall apart.

He felt responsible for holding everything together and as

a result, he stayed online.

He always stayed available.

He was always managing even when he was on leave, which meant he didn't

really get a full well-rested leave.

And when he came back, he was also very distracted and felt like he

had to be available all the time.

So when he joined my course "Becoming the Modern Humanitarian and Development

Leader", he realized that there was something important that he needed to do.

His team wasn't dependent on him because they lacked ability.

They were dependent on him because of the way he was leading.

He started pulling back, not disappearing, but just becoming less available.

And something remarkable happened.

His team adjusted.

They stepped up.

They made decisions.

They solved problems, and they felt supported because of the way

he communicated and coached them.

When he went on leave again, he was able to fully disconnect.

For the first time in years, nothing fell apart.

In fact, his team became stronger.

That's because of the power of leading versus managing.

So here's the invitation for you.

As you get ready for your holiday break, let this season

be a test of your leadership.

Ask yourself, how empowered is my team really?

What would happen if I fully disconnected?

And even just the feelings or the thoughts that you notice rise up when you think

these things or you answer these questions can be very telling in terms of how

you are currently leading or managing.

A few other questions you can ask yourself include, what signs of dependence show

up for us, like myself and my team, and what can I shift before I step away?

So you don't need to transform everything overnight.

But even one shift, one conversation, one delegation, one moment of

coaching can create massive change.

If today's episode resonated with you and you want to learn how to empower

your team so that you can lead with less stress and more freedom especially

heading into 2026, I invite you to start applying these insights now.

And if you want deeper support in becoming a modern and humanitarian

development leader, one who empowers instead of manages, this is the

perfect time to take that next step.

Share this episode with another team leader who needs to hear it, reflect

on the warning signs in your own leadership, and start shifting from

managing to truly leading even today.

And until next week, we're kicking off the new year with a powerful episode

called "Unlock 2026 Success: Three Reflection Questions for NGO Leaders".

If you want to start the year with clarity, intention, and

a stronger leadership vision, you won't wanna miss it.

Okay, until next week, keep evolving.

Bye for now.

Are you the type of leader that tells others what to do, or do you let

them figure it out for themselves?

Understanding your leadership style is a first step to deciding what's

working for you and what's not.

To find out your leadership style, take my free quiz, "What

is your leadership style?".

You'll immediately find out your default style, how it may be impacting

your team, and a few practical ways to become an even better leader.

Just click on the link in the show notes, www.aidforaidworkers.com/quiz.

Fill out your quiz and click submit.

So what are you waiting for?

Go to www.aidforaidworkers.com/quiz and discover your leadership style now.

Your team will thank you for it.