Your body tells a story, and sometimes that story looks different than what you expected, especially after babies, illness, injury, or as you age. In this episode, we’ll explore what healthy beauty really looks like in a world of fillers, filters, and endless comparison. Listen to discover a kinder, freer definition of beauty—one that honors your season and glorifies God.

Prayer:

Lord, search my heart. Please show me what I'm really seeking. Guard me from anything that would master me. Teach me to honor this body that you've given me and treat it like a temple, but also help me to steward my resources wisely and help me to choose what leads to peace, help me to choose what will lead to being more present, and not worried about my looks, and help me understand what true love is, not one that is wrapped up in looks. Lord, if I should proceed with this procedure or this thing, give me clarity and counsel. But Lord, if I should wait, please release it and give me contentment in my heart. Amen

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Hey friend, welcome back. And also thank you. Thank you for all the likes, the shares, the emails, just pointing people to this podcast and continuing to tune in every other week. It's been a blessing to be on this journey with you. So today we're gonna talk about plot twists. And I know that's not what you're thinking, but I wasn't thinking the same thing when I thought my body could have more plot twists than my favorite drama, my favorite show. Have you noticed how much your body has changed?

My body changed when we had our first child and when we had our second child, gained a lot of weight. I remember rupturing my Achilles and my body changed because I couldn't exercise for over six months and gained a lot of weight. So there's just been a series of weight gain and I've noticed that it's also changed my standard, my definition of beauty. We all as women, we look in the mirror and we know that feeling. We know the questions that we ask ourselves. Maybe it's, does my husband

my boyfriend is, do they still find me attractive? Yeah, they might love you, but am I the most desirable in their eyes? I know we've asked ourselves the question of, do we even like what we see in the mirror? I've asked myself that so many times. And so today, I'm inviting you into a conversation, an honest conversation about what to do when your body tells a new story. When your body goes through a plot twist and you're trying to redefine beauty after

a baby, or redefine beauty after change, redefine beauty after illness. And I'm going to share a few scriptures that have helped me reframe that mirror that I look into. And I want to be honest and let you know that this is not going to be a quick fix. I'm also not anti-care, but what I want to show you is a gentler way of thinking about beauty and a few small steps that actually will fit into your life. So I'm going to keep it practical. I'm going to keep it biblical. And you might walk away with a lighter heart.

and a clear mirror. Okay, so I'll never forget when I hopped on the scale one December morning and I was blown away by the number that I saw on the scale. Now, I understand that the story of the scale doesn't always tell the full picture, but the number that I saw on that scale was the same number that I saw when I walked into my last appointment before I delivered our second son. I walked into that appointment, I stepped on the scale,

And my midwife was like, okay, this is how much you weigh. You have a healthy baby, you're a healthy mama, and now let's plan for what the delivery of your child is going to look like. See, that number brings back so many memories because this time I saw that number on a scale, but there was no baby in my belly. Matter of fact, our son was now four years old, going on five. So I had five years to really get back to myself.

And seeing that same number on the scale just put a dent in my heart because it made me realize I weigh the exact same that I weighed when I was delivering our second son, except I don't have a baby in my belly. That was the moment that I realized something had to change. I had to lose weight. And it wasn't for superficial reasons, but it was for health reasons. It was also because I realized that my 80 extra pounds that I was carrying

made me sluggish, made me insecure, made me tired, made me fatigued, made me so many things that did not feel like I was my best self. And to add even more salt to the wound, I went to the eye doctor and for the first time the doctor was like, you need glasses. So here I am trying to understand my body, but also trying to love myself through this. I know I look completely different from the woman that Alan married.

I know I felt like a new woman, but what I didn't know is that I was grieving something that a lot of women don't talk about. If someone had told me, Jennifer, your body is changing and it's okay that you're in a state of grief right now, but I never knew that I would actually be grieving my old capacities. Think of it like if you are used to running 5Ks and you used to run 5Ks and now you've had a child, you have a family, you have a new job and you can't do that anymore.

then you're grieving in old capacity, but that's really connected to what you value. That means you value vitality, you value progress. I remember signing up for a 5K with my daughter and I was so excited to sign up for it because we were able to do it together. And after about two minutes of jogging and people just kept jogging past me and I had to stop, I realized I used to be able to make it at least one mile, at least five minutes without stopping. And now I couldn't make it past two.

And so it's important to grieve those old capacities. Maybe you're grieving being pain free most days, but what that's really connected to is that you value freedom. You value spontaneity. Here are a few other ways that you could be grieving your old capacities, but just remember that it's tied to something that you value. It's not what you can't do, but you're grieving what you could do at one point that spoke to the values in your life.

So pre-baby stamina, doing all the housework, not being forgetful, that's because you value order, you value service. Or let's say you miss having a full night's sleep. That's because you value having a clear mind. You value emotional steadiness, which you don't have now in this season. These are all examples of just all capacities that we have that is okay to grieve. And I want to give you the first way to find beauty after a baby or change or illness.

And that is to separate your identity from your ability. So that could look like if you are grieving a null capacity of being able to lift heavy at the gym and you can't do that anymore. Obviously that's connected to you valuing strength and valuing your capability. But perhaps you could ask yourself, where am I still building capacity? It could be steady right now. It may not be as heavy as a weight, but identify an area in your life where you are still building or

If you use the multitask like a pro and you feel like you no longer can do that, that just shows that you value productivity. You value being useful. Maybe you can ask yourself in this season, what if my presence, not my productivity is what's more productive for my family, for myself in this season? I know one thing that I had to agree with was how much easier it was to travel without kids. We used to be able to hop on a plane or hop in the car and just go somewhere.

Now, planning for a trip with young kids, it's different. It's a different type of capacity. But that's because I value adventure. I value curiosity. And now I have to ask myself, where can I find that adventure but closer to home? Maybe at one point you were leading a ministry or you were leading three or four ministries. You were serving at church. That means you value influence. You value having a purpose-driven life. And sometimes that can change.

So what's one assignment that you feel like God is highlighting for you right now? I know that my influence changed significantly when I went from influencing a department, a company, to now influencing my home. That was different. That was hard for me. I had to grieve my old capacity and understand that I still value influence. I still value feeling purposeful. But God is now inviting me into a new space where I have a different kind of influence.

So as you're on this journey, just remember that your body may not be able to do the same things. And that's okay. But that shouldn't invite thoughts about that being your new identity. And so I want to invite you into a new concept of beauty and that is stewarding your temple. Understanding and being intentional about what we put in our body matters. I'm sure you've heard this so many times, but I didn't understand how important this was until I recently

lost 30 pounds and y'all, you're not gonna believe this. I didn't take any shots. I didn't take any weight loss drugs. I was active but not by putting in hours at the gym but it was simply by walking, moving my body and watching what I put in my body. There is a growing trend and I know you've seen it too of taking meds for weight loss, surgeries.

Having Botox, filling those lips, filling those cheeks, filling the under eyes just to make sure the wrinkles go away, filling your forehead. Whatever there is a wrinkle, which is beautiful by the way, there is a solution that most likely involves a needle or a drug. Also, kids can take a toll on your body. I know that my body has changed significantly from breastfeeding. So,

When our body tells a different story and our body starts to change and that plot twist starts to happen, there has been a growing trend where now all we have to do is inject something into our body to make us look youthful. Now, once again, I share that I'm not against self-care. I'm not against enhancing your beauty. I'm not against elevating your presence. But we have to be very, very, very careful when we start

to change the natural progression of age. God made absolutely no mistakes when he made you. That brain of yours, those cheeks of yours, those curves of yours, every ounce of your body is genetically linked to the design that God created for you, for you, specifically for you. And nobody else has

that same uniqueness. And so as we age, those uniquenesses are going to change. Those wrinkles are going to become more defined. Those boobs are gonna sag after breastfeeding your child. Those hips are gonna spread after having a baby. Those pimples are gonna show up after stress. What does that mean? Does that mean you get an enhancer? No. It means that you check your heart as to why you want...

to change or enhance your beauty in the first place. I think about Corinthians, where Paul is writing to the believers in Corinth, that's a city that was known for just a lot of excess, like sexual immorality. They were just doing the most. And in chapter six, we see Paul confronts the mindset that treats the body like it doesn't matter. I love that he reminds them that our bodies are temples, our bodies are members of Christ. He says,

Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within whom you have from God? He reminds them that you are not your own, for you were bought with a price. You're valuable. And to glorify God with your body. So now when Paul was writing this to the believers, he was really talking about sexual purity. But I think the bigger principle here that we can apply is that our bodies still belong to Jesus.

and they're in doubt with the Holy Spirit. If you're a believer and you have invited Christ, the Holy Spirit, to dwell in you, then we can glorify God with our body. So if something that you consume starts to own you, that could be coffee, that could be sugar, could be alcohol, could be pills that were prescribed for you. It's time to just check your engine. If it starts to control you, then that's a check engine light for your soul. And it should just...

Encourage you to ask yourself. Am I getting too dependent on this? I've seen women go on makeup fast where they don't wear makeup for a week just to see how they feel about themselves So here are just a few questions you can ask yourself just to have that heart check We'll call this the heart check framework so you can walk through asking yourself these questions before choosing any enhancer And when I say enhancer, I'm talking about like fillers Botox makeup

that filter on Instagram or Facebook, whatever it is, you just want to make sure that this is rooted in wise stewardship and giving you freedom. And you just have honest motives after you do it. the first thing is just identify your motive. Like what is driving me to want to fill in the blank? For example, what is driving me to feel like I have to always have my makeup on? Are you seeking approval? Are you seeking control? Are you seeking relief maybe from insecurity?

What is driving you? What is driving you to want to get Botox? What is driving you from wanting to get fillers? What is driving you from wanting to put that filter on before you post that picture about yourself? And then I want you to ask yourself if this is a response to comparison or is it truth? Like, are you really ugly so therefore you want to put that filter on? And if you're ugly, who are you comparing yourself to that makes you feel ugly? The next thing I want you to think about is formation and fruit. As believers, we are called

produce fruit. Our lives should be a reflection of the fruit that we beer and that we produce. So before you put on that excessive makeup or before you throw that filter on, before you go for your weekly Botox appointments, I don't know if you get Botox weekly or not. I've never had it. Maybe it's monthly, but whatever that is, ask yourself, what kind of woman will this decision for me into over time? Is this procedure, is this process making me more joyful? Is it making me more gentle?

Is it making me more present with my kids? Or is it making me more anxious? Is it making me more preoccupied? Whereas now you feel like you have to get it every time. Is it making you more critical of yourself? Those are just important questions to ask yourself. Another heart check I want to invite you into is having stewardship of your resources. I know those procedures are not cheap. You could spend your money doing other things for sure, but just think about, are you being a good steward of your resources that God has given you?

I'll be honest guys, I remember going natural with my hair, meaning that I decided to keep my hair in the same state that it grows out of my head. So that means I did not chemically straighten it. I didn't blow dry, I didn't go get blowouts, but I just kept my hair in its natural state. And I was amazed at how more expensive that was than actually getting my hair permed or getting it straightened because now I had to invest in all these products to keep my hair curly, to keep my hair...

looking well kept. I think as women, should want to care for our image. We should want to care for our hair and care for the way we look. But y'all, I had no idea how expensive it would be. I was buying a new product every week to try on my hair. So that's an example of like, wow, this was something that I was interested in doing, but I had no idea of the investment of resources that it would take.

and I just had to do a heart check to check myself. Do I need that new product? I know it's going viral on TikTok. I know that everyone is raving by, but do I really need that $75 tinted moisturizer? No. Do I really need that $75 curl enhancer? No. So check your heart. All I'm inviting you to do is just to check your heart. I'm not telling you whether you should or you shouldn't do it. I'm just saying check your heart.

I love the reminder that we get in Ephesians 2 10 that says we are God's workmanship. We were created in Christ. We were created to do good works that God prepared for us. We're his masterpiece. Have you ever seen a masterpiece that just needs more work? No, because it wouldn't be a masterpiece if it did. We are God's masterpiece and anything we do to change that artwork in his creation.

could be an insult to him, but it could also reveal something deeper in our hearts as women and how we struggle with contentment. We struggle with comparison. We struggle with confidence and beauty. And that leads me into identity and contentment. I want you to ask yourself and have that heart check moment with, are you hoping that this procedure or this enhancer will give me what only God ultimately can give you? God is the only one that can give you worth, not that enhancer.

God is the only one who can give you security, not that enhancer. God is the only one who can give you peace, not that enhancer. There is no cosmetic practice that will fill the gap of what only God can do. And that's not to sound spiritual, but it's just to invite you that God meets a deeper need. I know you may not want to hear it, but you are searching in that enhancer. I know that when I wake up and I put my eyebrows on, that's because

I think my eyebrows are way too thin, but I think I look like a chicken without my eyebrows done. Like literally, they're so thin. I have no expression. I know that's personal. I know the way I look at myself when I don't have my eyebrows done versus when I do. And does that mean that's bad? Maybe it becomes bad when I no longer see myself beautiful without getting my eyebrows done. The solution is you don't have to get the permanent eyebrows, but you just, you know, get an eyebrow filler.

your hairstyle instead of making that drastic change, just play around with some different hairstyles and see if you feel more confident, feel more beautiful and just, just do the heart check. Just do the heart check before you make the commitment. So overall, just ask yourself that if this procedure could give me one thing, is there a gospel path to that same thing? I had to ask myself that if wearing makeup made me feel more confident,

then what is the gospel path to feeling more confident? That is confidence in Christ, not confidence in makeup. Do you see how that question is gonna force you to think about that thing, that procedure, that filler, that process that you have been doing to make yourself more beautiful? And what does the word, is there a gospel path that can help you achieve that same thing? Like now, I wear makeup as an enhancer, I wear makeup when I just enhance my beauty, but I don't wear makeup.

to make me feel beautiful. That's the difference. That's the confidence that I found in the gospel. That's the confidence that I found in understanding that God made no mistakes when he made me and that I am whole. I am enough in the image of Christ. I don't have to change. I don't have to perform for him. I'm enough. That gospel truth freed me up so much to where now anything I do to my look is an enhancer, but it's not a definition of my beauty.

or my worth. So if you've been struggling in this area, you've been struggling with loving what you see in the mirror, even just liking, accepting what you see in the mirror, then a gentle prayer that you can pray for yourself is just asking the Lord to search your heart. I'll put this prayer in the show notes, but a prayer that I pray is, search my heart. Show me what I'm really seeking. Guard me from anything that would master me. Teach me to honor this body that you've given me and treat it like a temple.

but also help me to steward my resources wisely and help me to choose what leads to peace, me to choose what will lead to being more present, not worried about my looks, and also help me understand what true love is, not one that is wrapped up in looks. Lord, if I should proceed with this procedure or this thing, just give me clarity and counsel. But Lord, if I should wait, please release it and give me content.

Jesus name. That's just a prayer that I have invited into my decision making when I'm starting to redefine beauty in an unhealthy way. So as we close, just want to say that you are loved. God made absolutely no mistakes when he created you and to do the heart check before you proceed with anything that is going to enhance or redefine your beauty. Thank you again for tuning into a topic that I know is a little taboo, a topic that

It goes against everything you probably see in society about Botox and fillers and enhancers and filters, all the things, right? But your beauty, your beauty, especially after having kids or having an illness or just a change in seasons is important, but not to the people of the world, but it is important to God. He sees you as a masterpiece. I pray that you hold on to that truth for the rest of your week. Go win this week and make God proud.

Bye for now.