There is a Porpoise for our Mom-miage

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Analogue 1 + 2 (Focusrite USB Audio) & e2eSoft iVCam:

you know, I'm a delight,

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I'm a fucking delight.

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Millie: Welcome to Reinventing This

Shit Show, a podcast for moms who are

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just trying to make it through the day.

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I'm Millie.

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Maxine: And I'm Maxine.

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We're friends,

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Millie: We're moms.

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We're

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Maxine: having a midlife crisis.

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Won't you join us?

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Are we recording?

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Millie: We are recording.

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Yeah,

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Maxine: Hey.

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Hey.

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Hey,

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Millie: listener.

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Maxine: What's going on?

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Hey, uh, for our catch up, you know

what I really want to talk about?

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The fact that we are just a

few days away from our cruise.

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I know, I'm so fucking excited.

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Millie: Well, you're about to see your

son, who you haven't seen for how long?

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Maxine: four months.

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Millie: Four months.

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Maxine: Yeah, it's been a very, very long

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Millie: That's too long.

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And he's been on another continent.

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Which makes it

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Maxine: I told, did I, I don't

think I messaged you this, but

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I was emotional anyway last

week because I was sick, did I?

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That I saw, I looked at the

Life360 and there he was, on

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our continent, a continent.

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Millie: actually getting a little

teary just thinking about it.

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I'm

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Maxine: I was so happy to see that.

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Millie: see

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Maxine: Um, but yeah, so obviously

we're excited to see him.

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I'm really excited to

see him sing and perform.

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Millie: I haven't seen him

since he was in Into the Woods.

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His like, senior year of

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Maxine: Yeah.

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Mmm, Junior.

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Millie: Junior?

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Yeah.

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Well,

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Maxine: No, you saw him in Mamma Mia.

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Or did you not, no?

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Millie: not.

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Maxine: Yeah, I just, and they,

they're gonna do five shows while

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we're on the boat, and they're

five different shows, yeah,

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Millie: And we're not

dressing up in 80s prom

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Maxine: no, they do that prom,

I, but I still think we should

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dress up, like we should wear

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something

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Millie: looking at Amazon today.

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I've got to buy some whole

new clothes 20 pounds heavier

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and nothing is going to fit.

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And it is now Friday and

we're leaving on Wednesday.

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So we are fucked.

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We're screwed.

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Maxine: I, uh, I had that same

little feeling, like, ooh, what the

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fuck are we bringing on this trip?

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So, yeah, there may need

to be some shopping.

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Oh, man, I have to go shopping.

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I know you do, and I fucking love

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Millie: it.

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Do you?

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Yeah.

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Do you want to go?

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Maxine: well, pump, pump

the brakes because I love

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it, but I get mad when I go.

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Because I don't like how anything looks

and I hate going to all the stores

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Millie: the stores.

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Well, then you don't

actually like shopping.

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What is it you like about shopping?

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Maxine: Okay, so I like online shopping

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Millie: Well, yeah, but

then you're gonna try

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Maxine: then you and then you

have to return it so that part too

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Millie: Even though it's

gotten a lot easier,

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Maxine: I know but I I still love

fashion as much as I did when I was a

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teenager Like I am one of those people

that will oh, yeah, like I will There

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are, you know, certain brands and stuff

that I love that I'm watching all the

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time.

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New stuff, yeah, absolutely.

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Still

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Millie: god, we've known

each other like 15 years.

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I didn't know that

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Maxine: Yeah, I'm, I'm a

big Fashionista, as it were.

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Millie: Explains why you don't like your

daughter leaving the house looking like a

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Maxine: I don't.

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Well, that's what, oh man.

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Kids these days.

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Millie: these days, we've said it before.

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Maxine: Well, so packing.

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How's that going?

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You gotta buy some shit to pack.

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Millie: I mean, oh, and

packing, you know, I,

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Maxine: Yeah.

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It's

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Millie: I haven't, I don't know if the

listeners have figured this out yet,

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but I am, a 100 percent basket case.

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All the time.

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So my anxiety, manifests physically, but

also in my need to control everything.

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So when I pack, it is a

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Maxine: nightmare.

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Yeah.

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I

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Millie: I really, I did very well

when we went to Chicago last week.

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I grabbed my contacts and my

prescriptions and was like, alright.

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Like

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Maxine: if

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Millie: those are the, those

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Maxine: the

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things That's all you really need.

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Yeah.

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And

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Millie: And then, of course,

I packed other things, but I

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was like, I'm not going crazy.

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I'm just not, if I don't have it, I buy

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Maxine: buy it.

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Did

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Millie: It did

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Maxine: didn't.

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Okay.

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So do that again.

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Because think about it.

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We're going to be in tropical

places for seven days.

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What the fuck do you really need?

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Swimming suit, a cover up,

maybe some, some, well, but,

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Millie: we're going to be in Mexico.

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Can we get that while we're there?

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Maxine: hear it's cheaper,

but like some sundresses.

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Okay.

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Millie: Yeah, I probably have a couple

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Maxine: That's what I mean, like,

we're not, we're not, you know,

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Millie: It's the nice stuff

that I'm worried about.

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The, the dinners or the

whatever that we need

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Maxine: just, just have a couple

of decent dresses that you don't

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hate and call it good, you're done.

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Millie: That's, that's a tall order, okay.

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January, January's gonna be my new body,

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Maxine: Oh, yeah, is that it,

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Millie: Well I was, I was,

um, Googling Kybella today.

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Maxine: The fuck is

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Millie: It's, um, it's like a, it's

like liposuction, but they inject you

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and it kills all the fat under your

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Maxine: Are you kidding me

right now with this shit?

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Millie: No, not at all.

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But then I read that it doesn't

work as well as actual liposuction,

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so I'll probably be having

chin liposuction at some point.

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Maxine: Really a great idea to

you know, inject and squeeze

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Millie: and

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No, it's, you know.

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It's happening.

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It's happening.

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So you're fine.

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I know.

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You're au naturel,

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Maxine: I do not approve

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Millie: Don't care.

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Maxine: my stamp of not approval

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Millie: Well, I will be sure

to take that into consideration

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when I make the appointment.

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No, I won't.

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No, I won't.

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No.

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Okay.

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Anyway, so yeah.

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So, okay.

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So Cruz coming, right?

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Packing.

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Maxine: we're pulling our kids

out of school for six days right

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before the end of the semester.

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I think that's a great

parenting choice on our

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Millie: We did it last

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Maxine: I know you did, but my

senior is flipping balls because

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he has so much work he has to do.

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I

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feel

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so

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Millie: nice?

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Are the teachers being nice about

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Maxine: Kind of, but he's just going

to have, you know, a lot that he has

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to do because right when they get

back, he has finals and he actually

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has finals, like he's got some tough

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Millie: is the room situation?

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Is he staying with sister?

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Maxine: sister and him are in a

room and then we're in a room and

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then, you know, the oldest has his

living quarters there anyway, so.

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Millie: Well, so I think middle

boy can take some time and I

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mean there's internet on the

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Maxine: Yeah, but I, I said don't do

that because you're not going to and you

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want to have fun and you want to hang

out with your brother when you can and

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You

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know, he's really excited

about seeing him so,

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and

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Millie: seen his brother in

forever and you know what?

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Whatever.

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He's already signed on to a college.

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Who fucking cares?

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Maxine: and that's, you know, he's

just trying to get a little bit more

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scholarship because he's such an angel.

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I know,

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but, he is going to be

a murse, that's so cute.

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But um,

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Millie: is going to be covered in women.

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Like,

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Maxine: he doesn't see it

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Millie: sexier than a Merce.

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Maxine: I know, he doesn't get

it now because he's still, you

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Millie: Well, it's good that

that's not why he's doing it.

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He's doing it because he's

legitimately a good human

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Maxine: Well, and it's just,

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it's absolutely the right fit.

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I know, that's why I tell him

all the time, it's just that what

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he's doing is so noble, and it's

so hard, my God, I mean, you know

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firsthand how tough it is to be a

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Millie: nurse.

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Yeah, it's funny because the people that I

know that are listening to this don't even

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know that I almost went to nursing school.

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I didn't tell anybody.

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I didn't tell anybody I did

all the, all the prerequisites

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Maxine: I remember you doing it.

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Millie: Yeah, well, you knew, but

most, most people didn't know because

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I just didn't want the pressure.

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yeah.

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And then I was an alternate and I

really thought I was going to get in

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and then I didn't and I could have done

it the next year and I just didn't.

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And I think again, my back, you know,

you've got to be able to lift 50 pounds

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or whatever and be on your feet all day

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Maxine: And that's a big

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Millie: I can't do it.

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So, but you know what?

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More power to him.

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He's

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Maxine: No, I think it's cool.

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I mean, I think it's

the right fit for him.

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Something we always thought something

in that field or that area, something

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medical, not a doctor, but like a

therapist or something like that.

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Millie: Oh, I could totally see him

as like a physical therapist too.

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That would be another

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Maxine: that's his, like, he really

thought he was going to do physical

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therapy for a long time and then

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Millie: his sports background and

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Maxine: exactly.

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Sports medicine kind of stuff.

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So

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Millie: I mean, probably he will go into

nursing because it's, that's his calling.

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That's what it'll do.

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But it's good to know there's other

things that are, if he needs any help

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with anatomy and physiology, let me know.

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Maxine: He loves that shit.

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Millie: I loved it too.

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I'm telling you, like, it is the dumbest

thing, but like, we got to the kidneys

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and I was like, The kidneys are the

most fascinating thing I've ever seen!

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They are, actually.

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Like, wait till he gets to kidneys and

ask him what he thinks about kidneys,

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because they are fucking amazing.

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You will never treat your kidneys the same

way again after you read about how amazing

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they are.

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Maxine: amazing they are.

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Millie: They are

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Maxine: I don't think, I think

that I could go my lifetime never

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understanding the ins and outs of

the kidney and I would be okay.

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Millie: I thought I would too.

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Kidneys are not like a sexy organ.

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Maxine: Well because

there's so many other sexy

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Millie: Well, like the heart, right?

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Like people are like,

you know, heart surgeons.

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Heart surgeons are like,

you know, or brain surgeons.

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You know, like you think about

those things as being like,

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Oh, so cool.

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Maxine: No.

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Millie: But when you learn about

how they maintain the balance in

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your body, I know I'm such a fucking

nerd, but it's just, it's magical.

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It really is.

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Did you know the heart can exist

outside a human body for, like,

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legitimately forever as long as it's

in the right solution of chemicals?

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Maxine: Like it can keep beating?

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Millie: I don't remember

if it beats or not.

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I think it

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does

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beat.

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Yeah, because it's, it doesn't beat

because of messages from your brain.

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It messes, it beats because of

chemicals that are influencing it.

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If there's any nurses listening

to this, please come at me because

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I'm sure I just fucked that all up.

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Maxine: all up.

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I

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also think it's the wine

that you're drinking,

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so I'm going to check that label.

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Millie: It's not pot wine.

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Is that a thing?

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Pot wine?

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Maxine: Probably.

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Pot beer?

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I

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Millie: I was going to say we could invent

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Maxine: I know there's pot beer.

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Millie: Oh.

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Huh.

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Anyway,

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okay.

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Maxine: So circle

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back.

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We're really excited about the cruise.

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We're packing.

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Yay.

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Next week's going to be a baller

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Millie: week.

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We are just going to relax, which

the last few weeks of our lives

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have not exactly been relaxing.

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Maxine: been relaxing.

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Years.

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It's

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Millie: is going to be

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Maxine: to

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Millie: Relaxation.

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I refuse to stress about anything.

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Although my husband did convince me to

go diving with him, which is gonna cause

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Maxine: It's pretty shallow.

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I mean, and I've done this before.

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Millie: It's pretty shallow.

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I mean, and I've done this

before and I almost got, I mean,

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I didn't almost get certified.

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My oldest, we

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went,

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did I tell you about that?

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We, we did it until we were supposed

to go real low in the pool and like

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start taking our mask off and stuff.

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And I looked at her and she was

in pure terror, which if you know

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her, which you do, that's not

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her.

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So when I saw that look in her eyes, I was

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Maxine: Alright, we're

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Millie: Nope.

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Not happening.

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But, you know, so I have,

I do have some experience.

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It's not, you know, I'm

not that scared about it.

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I'll be fine.

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It'll be fun.

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Maxine: It'll be

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pretty.

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It'll definitely be pretty.

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Um, okay, so let's get to our

main, our main squeeze today.

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What are we

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Millie: talking

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about?

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J

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Maxine: about, yeah, we are.

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And this is, um, again, a hot top in my

household because I have teenagers who,

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want to work and like to work and they

want money and stuff and I, I don't know,

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I don't know how you feel about this.

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You're kind of getting to

this point now with your

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oldest, but traditionally I don't

like for my kids to work and I don't

357

: 00:11:26

know if that's bad, that's good,

whatever people are going to say.

358

: 00:11:28

Like I give a fuck anyway.

359

: 00:11:30

But, um.

360

: 00:11:31

I'm not a fan of my kids working

because I, I have always said to

361

: 00:11:34

them, you're a student, that's

362

: 00:11:35

Millie: your

363

: 00:11:35

job.

364

: 00:11:36

Yep.

365

: 00:11:37

Maxine: And your

activities, that's your job.

366

: 00:11:39

You know, whatever your

craft is, whatever.

367

: 00:11:42

And I feel like jobs just add unnecessary

stress, sort of, because there's not,

368

: 00:11:49

I know

369

: 00:11:49

people can learn skills

from working at a job.

370

: 00:11:52

I know that kids can learn all

kinds of things about life.

371

: 00:11:56

But, I just feel like it's not

worthwhile enough to do in lieu

372

: 00:12:01

of the activities and the school

stuff that they need to be doing.

373

: 00:12:04

Yeah,

374

: 00:12:05

Millie: Yeah, I feel the

375

: 00:12:06

Maxine: same

376

: 00:12:06

way.

377

: 00:12:07

Millie: keep telling the

older one, school's your job.

378

: 00:12:10

Um, horses, that's her activity,

but you know, and I would let her

379

: 00:12:13

do it anyway, but if you think about

like college admissions, they've

380

: 00:12:16

got to have some sort of activity.

381

: 00:12:17

So that is

382

: 00:12:18

Maxine: And that's what

I always say to them.

383

: 00:12:20

That's what I say to them, like,

getting a scholarship and getting into

384

: 00:12:23

college or, not necessarily getting a

scholarship, but if you can, but most

385

: 00:12:28

importantly getting into college or

whatever it is that you're going to do.

386

: 00:12:31

That's your

387

: 00:12:32

Millie: Which, getting

into college is harder and

388

: 00:12:35

Maxine: It is, and I, there's not really

a place for job on a college application.

389

: 00:12:41

They, they don't really care about that,

at least in the experience that I've had

390

: 00:12:44

with my two oldest getting into college.

391

: 00:12:47

That's not something anybody gives a shit

392

: 00:12:48

Millie: I don't even think that

was a thing when I applied.

393

: 00:12:50

Now, when I applied, things were

easier, but to me, I feel like jobs

394

: 00:12:55

in high school Um, sort of came out

of that time when people would quit

395

: 00:12:59

high school because they needed to

396

: 00:13:00

work.

397

: 00:13:01

And then, well, it was like, if you're

not working, you're lazy, you know, and

398

: 00:13:05

then it was just sort of a holdover.

399

: 00:13:08

I feel like it was a bit of a holdover

when I was working in high school.

400

: 00:13:11

Part of it was, you know, save

some money for college, but let's.

401

: 00:13:14

Just get real.

402

: 00:13:15

How much money

403

: 00:13:16

Maxine: money?

404

: 00:13:16

What?

405

: 00:13:17

250?

406

: 00:13:18

Millie: Right, like you might be able

to buy a few books with your summer

407

: 00:13:20

Maxine: No.

408

: 00:13:21

Or, you know, beer money,

I guess, for the first

409

: 00:13:24

Millie: semester,

410

: 00:13:24

It's I just

411

: 00:13:26

Maxine: Well, and I know some kids

work to like pay for gas money

412

: 00:13:30

and stuff for their cars, which

413

: 00:13:31

Millie: for their

414

: 00:13:32

Maxine: I, I see, but if getting

a job means you can't play on

415

: 00:13:37

the lacrosse team at school, I

don't think it's more beneficial.

416

: 00:13:41

I really

417

: 00:13:42

Millie: team at school.

418

: 00:13:46

I don't think

419

: 00:13:51

Maxine: they want a

420

: 00:13:53

Millie: beneficial.

421

: 00:13:54

I really

422

: 00:13:57

don't.

423

: 00:13:59

Don't think not having a job

is hurting my kids' work ethic?

424

: 00:14:02

No.

425

: 00:14:03

the older one has signed up now to

volunteer at the, um, I'm not gonna

426

: 00:14:07

say the name of it, but, um, at the,

427

: 00:14:10

the hip hippotherapy, um, place locally.

428

: 00:14:14

so she's super excited.

429

: 00:14:15

She hasn't finished all the process yet.

430

: 00:14:17

She's getting there, so she's

gonna go out and muck stalls and

431

: 00:14:20

do whatever and all of that stuff.

432

: 00:14:21

And that's, that's work.

433

: 00:14:23

Maxine: That's

434

: 00:14:23

hard

435

: 00:14:23

work.

436

: 00:14:23

Millie: She's not getting

437

: 00:14:24

Maxine: is, is work.

438

: 00:14:26

Millie: But I think it's teaching

her the same values that, you know,

439

: 00:14:31

bagging groceries taught me, you know.

440

: 00:14:34

Although, honestly, I don't

think my job taught me values.

441

: 00:14:36

I think I was good at my job

because I already had those values.

442

: 00:14:40

Maxine: when did you do

443

: 00:14:40

Millie: I think I was

four, fifteen last year.

444

: 00:14:45

No, no.

445

: 00:14:46

Uh, I don't know how old I was.

446

: 00:14:48

Sixteen,

447

: 00:14:49

fifteen, sixteen?

448

: 00:14:50

high

449

: 00:14:50

school?

450

: 00:14:51

Yeah, it was the hot job in town.

451

: 00:14:53

I lived in not a giant town, it wasn't

tiny, but um, the IGA grocery store there,

452

: 00:14:58

yeah, um, their whole thing was that they,

you bagged the groceries, you walked them

453

: 00:15:03

out, you know, it was a customer service

454

: 00:15:05

thing.

455

: 00:15:06

I was super introverted.

456

: 00:15:07

I hated every minute of the talking part.

457

: 00:15:09

I'm really good at bagging groceries.

458

: 00:15:11

Very good at that.

459

: 00:15:13

Um, and I had, you know, I, I

had a boyfriend that I met there.

460

: 00:15:17

Um, we dated briefly,

but it was a fun time.

461

: 00:15:19

You know, it was fun.

462

: 00:15:20

We had a good time and I

463

: 00:15:22

Maxine: I I think, okay, so both

of the kids at home have had summer

464

: 00:15:27

jobs, and I'm, I'm okay with summer

jobs, um, especially the, the boy

465

: 00:15:32

worked at the, at the hospital

466

: 00:15:34

this summer, so it was

like an internship, but he

467

: 00:15:36

Millie: got

468

: 00:15:36

paid

469

: 00:15:36

for

470

: 00:15:36

it.

471

: 00:15:36

But that's a useful,

472

: 00:15:38

Maxine: Fuck yeah, I love that.

473

: 00:15:39

If you could somehow get a job

like that, that's, that's useful.

474

: 00:15:43

I mean, and it showed him,

you know, kind of the career

475

: 00:15:45

path that he

476

: 00:15:46

Millie: him an idea of,

do I really like this?

477

: 00:15:48

Maxine: And then he had money to, you

know, spend through this year so far,

478

: 00:15:53

just kind of, you know, if he wants to

go out with his friends or whatever,

479

: 00:15:56

he has fun money to do those things.

480

: 00:15:59

And for the girl, the same thing.

481

: 00:16:00

She worked over the summer.

482

: 00:16:02

at a, you know, a retail, a beach shop and

um, has money to buy all these ridiculous

483

: 00:16:07

shirts from places that she's never been.

484

: 00:16:09

Millie: So

485

: 00:16:09

it

486

: 00:16:10

Maxine: like, it worked

487

: 00:16:11

out, you know, but I, I don't like

for them to work during the year.

488

: 00:16:14

She will still sometimes It's work on

the weekends, like one day a week, but

489

: 00:16:19

I, I just feel like school and activities

should be the priority and volunteering,

490

: 00:16:25

Millie: It's really

helpful if you're trying

491

: 00:16:27

Maxine: it's, it's really helpful if

you're trying to get into college.

492

: 00:16:30

I wish that it wasn't so difficult to

get into college, but you got to play the

493

: 00:16:35

game,

494

: 00:16:35

you know, whatever, however it is right

or wrong, whatever, that's how it is.

495

: 00:16:40

And volunteering is super

496

: 00:16:42

Millie: Super important.

497

: 00:16:42

Yeah.

498

: 00:16:43

Yeah.

499

: 00:16:43

And you know, I, big one

just popped her head in.

500

: 00:16:46

I was going to ask her.

501

: 00:16:47

What do I say?

502

: 00:16:48

Maxine: No,

503

: 00:16:48

Millie: Whatever.

504

: 00:16:49

Yeah.

505

: 00:16:49

And I always, you know,

school is your job.

506

: 00:16:52

You know, school

507

: 00:16:52

Maxine: comes

508

: 00:16:53

first,

509

: 00:16:53

Has she said, like, I want a job?

510

: 00:16:55

Yeah.

511

: 00:16:55

Okay.

512

: 00:16:56

We

513

: 00:16:56

Millie: We always joke about

getting them a job at the ice cream

514

: 00:16:58

Maxine: cream place down the

515

: 00:16:59

street.

516

: 00:16:59

Yeah.

517

: 00:16:59

Oh, yeah, yeah,

518

: 00:17:00

Millie: it's a really cute like little

beach kind of ice cream shop where would

519

: 00:17:05

make like some sort of Nickelodeon kids

520

: 00:17:08

show.

521

: 00:17:08

there.

522

: 00:17:09

You know what I

523

: 00:17:09

Maxine: I

524

: 00:17:10

Millie: right?

525

: 00:17:11

Yeah, like that's the

exact vibe of that place.

526

: 00:17:14

But they're too busy.

527

: 00:17:14

They're too busy.

528

: 00:17:15

And you know what?

529

: 00:17:16

They have their whole

530

: 00:17:17

Maxine: I mentioned this.

531

: 00:17:18

I know, I just, I know that there are

really important skills learned in

532

: 00:17:23

a job environment, but I think those

same skills can be learned volunteering

533

: 00:17:28

Millie: and

534

: 00:17:28

in

535

: 00:17:28

whatever

536

: 00:17:29

activity.

537

: 00:17:29

Especially the volunteering.

538

: 00:17:30

Yeah.

539

: 00:17:31

Maxine: Yeah.

540

: 00:17:31

And that's good too because, I

don't know, I think there's so many

541

: 00:17:34

positives to volunteering in general.

542

: 00:17:36

Just, you know.

543

: 00:17:37

But you brought up something

really interesting.

544

: 00:17:39

You were introverted working this job.

545

: 00:17:42

Why did you pick that job?

546

: 00:17:43

Is it

547

: 00:17:43

Millie: just

548

: 00:17:44

because

549

: 00:17:44

it was

550

: 00:17:44

the

551

: 00:17:44

cool job?

552

: 00:17:44

It was the cool job.

553

: 00:17:45

Yeah.

554

: 00:17:46

Yeah.

555

: 00:17:47

Yeah, and it was, you

know, it was good for me.

556

: 00:17:50

I had to figure out how to have a

conversation with strangers over and

557

: 00:17:54

over and over and over and I did it.

558

: 00:17:57

Maxine: And why did you get a job?

559

: 00:17:59

Was it just

560

: 00:18:00

to, cause you

561

: 00:18:00

Millie: my dad, my dad just

said, you will get a job.

562

: 00:18:04

I don't know.

563

: 00:18:04

I don't really remember.

564

: 00:18:06

I think it was

565

: 00:18:06

Maxine: a summer job, Okay.

566

: 00:18:08

Millie: um, started out with and then.

567

: 00:18:10

I don't know if I worked

during the year or not.

568

: 00:18:12

I can't remember.

569

: 00:18:13

Yes, I definitely did because I

remember, like, the Thanksgiving

570

: 00:18:17

rush of, like, people bringing two

and three carts full of food to the

571

: 00:18:22

checkout lane and me having to bag them.

572

: 00:18:25

Um, yeah, so, yeah.

573

: 00:18:26

Maxine: Did your sister work?

574

: 00:18:27

Millie: Yes, I'm trying to think back.

575

: 00:18:29

I think she helped coach

gymnastics because that was her

576

: 00:18:33

thing.

577

: 00:18:34

She was a gymnast and I

believe she worked at the

578

: 00:18:37

Maxine: the gymnastic studio.

579

: 00:18:38

Okay.

580

: 00:18:38

So, because I, I didn't really have a

job, but I did babysitting like early on.

581

: 00:18:45

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

582

: 00:18:45

I feel like everybody did that

when they were a teenager.

583

: 00:18:48

But my brother didn't work.

584

: 00:18:49

Either that I can remember.

585

: 00:18:51

We did a lot of volunteering.

586

: 00:18:53

Millie: Which I honestly

587

: 00:18:54

think might

588

: 00:18:55

be better, Unless

589

: 00:18:56

you need those kids to

590

: 00:18:57

Maxine: the

591

: 00:18:58

funds.

592

: 00:18:58

And that's it, too.

593

: 00:18:59

Like you said, we're not, I'm

not, like, if that's what works

594

: 00:19:02

for your family, absolutely.

595

: 00:19:04

You know, you do you.

596

: 00:19:05

I'm not being judgy about if people, you

know, encourage their kids to work jobs.

597

: 00:19:10

I just,

598

: 00:19:11

Millie: And some

599

: 00:19:11

Maxine: kids aren't going to

600

: 00:19:12

college.

601

: 00:19:13

Yeah, well, and that's and and maybe

they're learning some skills that are

602

: 00:19:16

going to get them into whatever field that

603

: 00:19:19

Millie: Everyone has a

different path, and especially

604

: 00:19:21

lately, I think we're realizing

how pushing every kid to

605

: 00:19:26

college is a bad choice.

606

: 00:19:27

Because not every kid

607

: 00:19:28

belongs in

608

: 00:19:29

Maxine: No, and not every kid knows

what the fuck they're going to do.

609

: 00:19:33

And that's, that's been the

hardest thing for me to like.

610

: 00:19:37

be okay

611

: 00:19:37

with.

612

: 00:19:38

I like, and actually I'm going

to talk about this in a little

613

: 00:19:40

bit, but my undergrad is in

614

: 00:19:41

Millie: criminology.

615

: 00:19:43

Maxine: but I went to

school as a music major.

616

: 00:19:45

So, but I changed my major halfway

through and who the fuck knows

617

: 00:19:51

what their path other than my

618

: 00:19:52

oldest son,

619

: 00:19:53

Millie: knew.

620

: 00:19:53

I was your oldest son.

621

: 00:19:56

The same.

622

: 00:19:56

Eleven years old.

623

: 00:19:57

I'm going to be an actor.

624

: 00:19:58

Yeah.

625

: 00:19:58

but you're

626

: 00:19:59

not.

627

: 00:20:00

No, but I was.

628

: 00:20:02

I mean, I followed that until

629

: 00:20:04

Maxine: You became a mom.

630

: 00:20:05

Millie: Well, it was earlier

than that, but It's a

631

: 00:20:08

long

632

: 00:20:08

story,

633

: 00:20:09

um, no, but that is, and I still, I

still look back and, you know, think,

634

: 00:20:13

God, what if I'd followed that path

now, looking back, I probably wasn't

635

: 00:20:16

quite talented enough to actually

follow that path, which is fine.

636

: 00:20:20

I'm fine with that.

637

: 00:20:21

but I knew, so it is really hard for

me to look at my kids and be like,

638

: 00:20:24

what do you want to be like my 14 year

old, do you want to work for Pixar?

639

: 00:20:26

Like you're going to be an artist, right?

640

: 00:20:28

She's like,

641

: 00:20:29

no, no, no.

642

: 00:20:29

Like,

643

: 00:20:30

Maxine: know.

644

: 00:20:30

Millie: so fucking

645

: 00:20:30

Maxine: Yeah.

646

: 00:20:32

Yeah.

647

: 00:20:32

Seriously, she

648

: 00:20:33

is so

649

: 00:20:33

good.

650

: 00:20:35

Millie: but no, I think she

may wind up training horses.

651

: 00:20:37

I don't know what she's gonna do, but.

652

: 00:20:38

Maxine: But that's the thing,

like, and my, my middle kid

653

: 00:20:43

could, you know, we know he's set

654

: 00:20:44

Millie: for

655

: 00:20:45

Maxine: school.

656

: 00:20:45

He could change his mind in a year or two,

657

: 00:20:47

you

658

: 00:20:47

know,

659

: 00:20:47

like, this idea that our 18 year olds

know exactly what they're going to do

660

: 00:20:52

with their lives, you know, probably not

the wisest thing for us to think because

661

: 00:20:57

Millie: it's

662

: 00:20:57

a

663

: 00:20:57

bit

664

: 00:20:57

unrealistic.

665

: 00:20:58

But

666

: 00:20:59

Maxine: Yeah.

667

: 00:21:05

Millie: you're 30?

668

: 00:21:06

Like

669

: 00:21:06

Maxine: I

670

: 00:21:06

know.

671

: 00:21:08

know.

672

: 00:21:08

Millie: an interesting thought

because yeah, if you don't know

673

: 00:21:11

what you're going to do, why are we

spending all this money on college?

674

: 00:21:14

Maxine: and you know, in some, some

countries do the whole gap year thing,

675

: 00:21:18

where you take that year off first

before you go to college, but, He

676

: 00:21:26

Millie: oh, before

677

: 00:21:27

he went yeah,

678

: 00:21:29

Maxine: well, I just,

679

: 00:21:30

Millie: I mean,

680

: 00:21:31

Maxine: And this is a whole other thing,

our education system, Jesus Christ,

681

: 00:21:34

but yeah, I think we have to be, we

have to normalize, like you said,

682

: 00:21:39

that every path is, is a good one.

683

: 00:21:42

You know, whatever it is, whatever,

it's completely individualized to each

684

: 00:21:46

Millie: kid Yeah, we've been

pushing every kid to college for too

685

: 00:21:49

Maxine: well, I mean, in high school,

like They, um, at the school that my two

686

: 00:21:54

youngest ones go to, there's the Success

Center, which is like the, you know, next

687

: 00:22:00

steps, what you go there for resources

for your next steps when you graduate.

688

: 00:22:04

It's college.

689

: 00:22:06

they say that they have other things

and if your path is different, yeah,

690

: 00:22:10

that they have, but I sure don't

see a whole lot of that coming home

691

: 00:22:14

and in their information and stuff.

692

: 00:22:16

It's really

693

: 00:22:17

Millie: college

694

: 00:22:17

focused.

695

: 00:22:18

Interesting.

696

: 00:22:18

So,

697

: 00:22:19

Maxine: I would say, at

least in our community,

698

: 00:22:22

I don't,

699

: 00:22:22

and it's, you know, it varies school by

school, I'm sure, but, I don't see a lot

700

: 00:22:27

of emphasis on things that are different

701

: 00:22:29

Millie: than college.

702

: 00:22:29

Maxine: But, but, you know, whatever.

703

: 00:22:31

In our house, yeah, like I was

saying, I, I don't, I'm not a huge fan

704

: 00:22:36

of jobs,

705

: 00:22:37

cause, cause they need to

706

: 00:22:38

Millie: good

707

: 00:22:38

grades.

708

: 00:22:39

I might not have the fucking time.

709

: 00:22:40

No,

710

: 00:22:41

they

711

: 00:22:41

just

712

: 00:22:41

don't.

713

: 00:22:42

I.

714

: 00:22:42

Maxine: I, volunteering was such a

huge part of my life as a teenager and

715

: 00:22:47

into my twenties, and I, there's so

many positive things that I got from

716

: 00:22:52

that, that I really, really wanted

my kids to have exposure to too.

717

: 00:22:56

So that has always superseded any

sort of employment or whatever.

718

: 00:23:00

And then with my oldest, he was, he

had a job, but he was singing for

719

: 00:23:04

a

720

: 00:23:04

church.

721

: 00:23:05

I mean, like, you know, and in a community

722

: 00:23:08

Millie: choir,

723

: 00:23:08

Maxine: was getting paid.

724

: 00:23:10

To do that, yeah.

725

: 00:23:11

So, it was a job, sort of,

726

: 00:23:14

Millie: not really.

727

: 00:23:14

Yeah.

728

: 00:23:15

I bottom line is, it's different for

every family, and for yours and mine,

729

: 00:23:19

jobs are just not going to be a priority.

730

: 00:23:23

No.

731

: 00:23:24

Maxine: They're not.

732

: 00:23:24

But, um,

733

: 00:23:25

so

734

: 00:23:26

let's

735

: 00:23:26

Since we're

736

: 00:23:26

talking about jobs, how about

we talk about jobs that we've

737

: 00:23:29

had and what we've done,

738

: 00:23:32

Millie: we've

739

: 00:23:32

Maxine: and fun stuff.

740

: 00:23:34

I

741

: 00:23:34

Millie: don't,

742

: 00:23:35

Because I need some more wine.

743

: 00:23:36

You go first.

744

: 00:23:37

Maxine: I told

745

: 00:23:37

Millie: you

746

: 00:23:38

that

747

: 00:23:38

I wanted

748

: 00:23:38

Maxine: to talk about like, okay,

let's think about the weirdest shit

749

: 00:23:41

we've ever done or the craziest shit

that we've ever done and I don't know

750

: 00:23:45

that I have like, because I was trying

to think, okay, In your workplace,

751

: 00:23:50

what crazy has happened to you or

was your workplace crazy in general?

752

: 00:23:54

And so I guess for me that would be

what it is like, you know, my undergrad

753

: 00:23:58

criminology and the first few years of

my career were spent in correctional

754

: 00:24:03

facilities and so No, and I I don't

want to get all like sad sacky about

755

: 00:24:10

it, but it it was a little traumatizing

for me and so I kind of Moved away

756

: 00:24:18

from that and not wanting to think

about it and shit like that, but So

757

: 00:24:23

I worked in a residential facility,

but then I, for two years, I worked in

758

: 00:24:26

Millie: in a holding facility.

759

: 00:24:28

Like, what is a

760

: 00:24:28

Holding facility Is

761

: 00:24:29

Maxine: facility is, yeah,

before somebody goes to get

762

: 00:24:34

sentenced and to,

763

: 00:24:35

right.

764

: 00:24:36

right.

765

: 00:24:36

So, and I worked in a juvenile

766

: 00:24:38

Millie: juvenile facility.

767

: 00:24:39

Okay.

768

: 00:24:39

That is, yeah.

769

: 00:24:41

Maxine: sad, a lot of it was sad,

but also scary, so the, the thing

770

: 00:24:46

that sticks out to me, the craziest

771

: 00:24:48

Millie: moment

772

: 00:24:48

that's exactly was

773

: 00:24:49

Maxine: we,

774

: 00:24:50

Millie: going to definitely top mine.

775

: 00:24:52

Maxine: we had a, and I don't

776

: 00:24:53

Millie: talk

777

: 00:24:54

about

778

: 00:24:54

this

779

: 00:24:54

very

780

: 00:24:54

much.

781

: 00:24:54

Maxine: The fact that I'm talking

about it right now, but, um, I, we

782

: 00:24:59

had a, um, A gentleman there who

was later convicted of murdering his

783

: 00:25:04

social

784

: 00:25:04

worker

785

: 00:25:05

and I used, he had one hour of outdoor

time where he wasn't in his cell and

786

: 00:25:12

I, when it was my shift, I used to play

787

: 00:25:16

basketball with

788

: 00:25:16

him,

789

: 00:25:18

um, handcuffed and shackled,

playing basketball with this

790

: 00:25:21

Millie: this murderer.

791

: 00:25:22

and But that is so kind, that

792

: 00:25:24

is so you,

793

: 00:25:25

to treat this

794

: 00:25:27

Maxine: like a human

795

: 00:25:28

being.

796

: 00:25:29

It was so terrifying.

797

: 00:25:30

and it wasn't great because he definitely,

was sort of fixated on me a little bit.

798

: 00:25:36

But, uh, it wasn't like a Hannibal

Lecter or Jodie Foster sort of thing,

799

: 00:25:39

but it was still a little creepy.

800

: 00:25:42

But like you said, I You know,

he was a 17 year old kid.

801

: 00:25:46

Like

802

: 00:25:46

Millie: kid.

803

: 00:25:46

Oh, that's right.

804

: 00:25:47

We're talking about a child.

805

: 00:25:48

I forgot about that

806

: 00:25:49

Maxine: at the end of the day, even

though he was a murderer, he was a 17

807

: 00:25:53

year old kid who, you know, just a series

of horrible things, blah, blah, blah.

808

: 00:25:58

But that would definitely be

the craziest moment of my life.

809

: 00:26:03

career probably was the time that I spent

with him one on one, and we're in this

810

: 00:26:08

gym and he's handcuffed and shackled and

we're, shooting hoops and I'm petrified

811

: 00:26:14

but I know that everybody's watching

just in case there's anything, you know,

812

: 00:26:18

because cameras and other, officers

like right outside the doors and stuff.

813

: 00:26:22

And sometimes other officers would

come in and play with us too,

814

: 00:26:25

but, um, yeah, I remember him.

815

: 00:26:27

Yeah.

816

: 00:26:28

Being, and like I said, I didn't

817

: 00:26:30

last very long

818

: 00:26:30

in this.

819

: 00:26:31

It's a very dark world to

be working in all the time

820

: 00:26:35

Millie: be.

821

: 00:26:36

Maxine: and just the,

822

: 00:26:37

you know, I taught like anger management

and life skills and just the, the

823

: 00:26:41

recidivism, like seeing these kids

come back over and over and over

824

: 00:26:44

again, you know, it was, it was rough.

825

: 00:26:47

So, that was the craziest, I've

had lots of crazy moments as

826

: 00:26:51

Millie: a Oh,

827

: 00:26:55

Maxine: just crazy, silly, hysterically

funny, crazy parents, crazy kids,

828

: 00:27:01

hilarious things said to me, body

fluids, anything you can think of, being

829

: 00:27:07

Millie: We were

830

: 00:27:07

Maxine: exposed to,

831

: 00:27:09

look at me in my eyeballs.

832

: 00:27:10

Every bodily fluid that you can

833

: 00:27:13

Millie: I am looking at

you and your eyeballs.

834

: 00:27:17

Wow.

835

: 00:27:17

Holy shit

836

: 00:27:19

Maxine: everywhere.

837

: 00:27:20

Okay, why don't you share?

838

: 00:27:23

Millie: Okay, well I'm gonna lighten

it up a little I have I have two crazy

839

: 00:27:27

stories and one is super short cuz I I

don't really know most of the details,

840

: 00:27:32

the first one, I was working for a

company, I don't even remember what they

841

: 00:27:37

did, anyway, uh, there was a woman, uh,

a co worker who worked in the executive

842

: 00:27:43

side of the building, so I didn't really

talked to her a ton, but I knew her,

843

: 00:27:47

uh, we would see each other in like

the copy room or something or whatever.

844

: 00:27:50

Came to work one day, she's gone.

845

: 00:27:52

I was like, where'd she go?

846

: 00:27:53

They go, Oh, well, apparently she's

on the FBI's most wanted list.

847

: 00:27:57

So they, she disappeared.

848

: 00:28:00

We don't know where she is, but the FBI

849

: 00:28:02

Maxine: was

850

: 00:28:02

here

851

: 00:28:02

Millie: looking through all

852

: 00:28:03

her

853

: 00:28:03

shit.

854

: 00:28:03

Are

855

: 00:28:04

you kidding me?

856

: 00:28:05

No, not at all.

857

: 00:28:06

Yeah.

858

: 00:28:06

FBI

859

: 00:28:07

Maxine: For

860

: 00:28:08

Millie: has been spot for like, um,

861

: 00:28:09

Maxine: theft and stuff.

862

: 00:28:11

Oh, well, she

863

: 00:28:13

Millie: Yeah.

864

: 00:28:16

So the name I knew her by was

certainly not her actual name.

865

: 00:28:19

In fact, I'm pretty sure it was someone

else's name that she had stolen.

866

: 00:28:22

So that was

867

: 00:28:23

one.

868

: 00:28:24

Maxine: I love

869

: 00:28:24

That Ha,

870

: 00:28:26

Millie: Cause

871

: 00:28:26

Maxine: ha, ha,

872

: 00:28:27

Millie: correctional, um, and the

second one is happened at the IGA.

873

: 00:28:33

Uh, we were forbidden for having,

taking tips, we weren't allowed to take

874

: 00:28:36

tips, you know.

875

: 00:28:37

So I told this guy, wanted to tip

me, I said, no, thank you very, you

876

: 00:28:40

know, it's my pleasure, whatever.

877

: 00:28:41

And he said, Oh, well, let me

at least just give you this.

878

: 00:28:43

And he hands me an audio

879

: 00:28:46

Maxine: tape, a

880

: 00:28:46

cassette

881

: 00:28:46

tape.

882

: 00:28:47

Oh Jesus.

883

: 00:28:48

And

884

: 00:28:48

Millie: I'm, I'm a recording

885

: 00:28:49

Maxine: artist,

886

: 00:28:50

Millie: whatever, I

don't know what it was.

887

: 00:28:52

I get it.

888

: 00:28:53

Oh my God, I wish I knew where this was.

889

: 00:28:57

It was a cassette tape of Christian songs

890

: 00:28:59

Maxine: that

891

: 00:28:59

he

892

: 00:28:59

had

893

: 00:29:00

written.

894

: 00:29:00

Oh shit.

895

: 00:29:01

Millie: And he was a

896

: 00:29:02

Maxine: a terrible

897

: 00:29:03

Millie: I'm

898

: 00:29:03

Maxine: Oh my god.

899

: 00:29:04

Let me

900

: 00:29:05

sing it for you.

901

: 00:29:07

Oh

902

: 00:29:08

Millie: I don't remember the whole thing

but it started out There is a porpoise

903

: 00:29:11

for our marriage We'll have a whale of

a time With our school of little fishes

904

: 00:29:17

Maxine: And And I'm telling you, you

will never forget those lyrics, will you?

905

: 00:29:23

You're going to be singing

906

: 00:29:23

Millie: been 20

907

: 00:29:24

Maxine: years from now.

908

: 00:29:25

I mean, it's been 20 something

909

: 00:29:26

Millie: some years.

910

: 00:29:27

30

911

: 00:29:28

Maxine: no, yeah, 30.

912

: 00:29:29

Yeah.

913

: 00:29:30

Millie: my

914

: 00:29:30

god, I don't know what happened

to that tape, but I wish I had it.

915

: 00:29:34

Maxine: Oh yeah.

916

: 00:29:35

That's way better than the

917

: 00:29:37

dollar he was gonna

918

: 00:29:38

give you.

919

: 00:29:38

Millie: Yeah.

920

: 00:29:39

Maxine: just gave

921

: 00:29:39

you sure.

922

: 00:29:41

A song that has last lasted a

923

: 00:29:43

Millie: Yeah, yeah.

924

: 00:29:44

So that's my crazy story.

925

: 00:29:47

Maxine: Oh, I love that guy.

926

: 00:29:49

Was he like an old guy?

927

: 00:29:50

No, no,

928

: 00:29:51

Millie: think so.

929

: 00:29:52

Yeah, He was

930

: 00:29:53

like, I mean, at the time I remember

thinking he was definitely older than

931

: 00:29:56

me, but no, he was not an old guy.

932

: 00:29:58

So maybe in his 30s,

933

: 00:30:00

Maxine: Oh my God.

934

: 00:30:01

Millie: 40s,

935

: 00:30:02

Maxine: And he just pressed this tape

936

: 00:30:04

into your hot little hand?

937

: 00:30:05

Yeah.

938

: 00:30:06

Millie: Yeah.

939

: 00:30:07

Yeah.

940

: 00:30:07

Yeah.

941

: 00:30:08

And I did as instructed, like if

they insist, you can take, you

942

: 00:30:11

know, you cannot, you have to say

no, but if they insist, you, you

943

: 00:30:13

Maxine: you can't

944

: 00:30:14

be rude, you gotta

945

: 00:30:15

Millie: you know?

946

: 00:30:15

Maxine: ha ha ha

947

: 00:30:16

ha.

948

: 00:30:16

ha.

949

: 00:30:17

God, don't you wish you, no, no.

950

: 00:30:19

Lifetime of musical

951

: 00:30:21

Millie: yeah, the dollar or

the two dollars he might have

952

: 00:30:23

handed me is nothing compared

953

: 00:30:26

Maxine: given me is nothing compared.

954

: 00:30:28

Millie: There is a

porpoise for our Marriage.

955

: 00:30:31

Maxine: And what?

956

: 00:30:31

We'll have a whale of a

957

: 00:30:32

tame?

958

: 00:30:33

Fuck yeah, that is,

959

: 00:30:35

Millie: is gold yeah.

960

: 00:30:37

I'm surprised he hasn't like

961

: 00:30:38

Maxine: Yeah, popped up in the Grammys.

962

: 00:30:40

Oh, I love

963

: 00:30:45

him.

964

: 00:30:46

Now, are you ready to

965

: 00:30:48

Millie: Oh, should we grab the bag?

966

: 00:30:50

Are we ready?

967

: 00:30:50

Oh man, we are getting tight on this.

968

: 00:30:52

We're doing good.

969

: 00:30:53

Okay, here, you grab the bag.

970

: 00:30:55

I grabbed, I

971

: 00:30:55

Maxine: Well, I just wiped my nose.

972

: 00:30:57

That was with this hand though.

973

: 00:30:58

So I'll use the other one.

974

: 00:30:59

Millie: alright.

975

: 00:31:00

Maxine: Ooh, you got these

fancy fucking cards in

976

: 00:31:02

Millie: know.

977

: 00:31:03

The kids picked them out.

978

: 00:31:04

I

979

: 00:31:04

haven't read any of them,

980

: 00:31:05

Maxine: Alright, who had the

most influence on you growing up?

981

: 00:31:09

So, as a child, who

982

: 00:31:11

influenced

983

: 00:31:11

you

984

: 00:31:11

the

985

: 00:31:12

most?

986

: 00:31:12

Millie: Madonna.

987

: 00:31:13

Maxine: Obviously, obviously,

I was going to say George

988

: 00:31:16

Michael, but same, same thing.

989

: 00:31:18

Millie: Um,

990

: 00:31:24

Maxine: on you.

991

: 00:31:25

I'm sure

992

: 00:31:25

Millie: sure it was my parents.

993

: 00:31:27

I mean, I don't know who else it would

994

: 00:31:28

Maxine: else it would have been, honestly.

995

: 00:31:30

I mean, I would say friend groups, but

friend groups changed, you know, like I

996

: 00:31:34

didn't have, I didn't have any friends

that I was friends with from kindergarten

997

: 00:31:38

to high

998

: 00:31:39

Millie: high school, senior year.

999

: 00:31:40

Okay, I will say, so let's put

parents aside because that's

: 1000

00:31:43,636 --> 00:31:44,366

pretty obvious.

: 1001

00:31:44,715 --> 00:31:45,728

Maxine: There were two

: 1002

00:31:45,728 --> 00:31:46,066

teachers.

: 1003

00:31:46,536 --> 00:31:47,486

Oh, that's a good

: 1004

00:31:47,661 --> 00:31:50,531

Millie: I had two teachers that

definitely, definitely influenced me.

: 1005

00:31:50,531 --> 00:31:52,541

One was my choir teacher, Mr.

: 1006

00:31:52,541 --> 00:31:52,951

Wenz.

: 1007

00:31:53,084 --> 00:31:56,843

Um, our choir program was

like pretty top notch.

: 1008

00:31:56,843 --> 00:31:58,333

We won state all the time.

: 1009

00:31:58,783 --> 00:32:02,833

And even though it can kind of be

considered a nerdy, thing to do in

: 1010

00:32:02,833 --> 00:32:06,363

a school that was really well known

for sports, a lot of the football

: 1011

00:32:06,363 --> 00:32:08,023

players and all that stuff,

they were in the choir.

: 1012

00:32:08,033 --> 00:32:08,303

Like it

: 1013

00:32:08,303 --> 00:32:08,533

was a

: 1014

00:32:08,773 --> 00:32:10,463

Maxine: is my exact

high school experience.

: 1015

00:32:10,843 --> 00:32:11,603

Exactly.

: 1016

00:32:11,733 --> 00:32:12,133

Millie: we're friends.

: 1017

00:32:12,453 --> 00:32:12,993

Maxine: exactly.

: 1018

00:32:13,863 --> 00:32:18,193

Millie: And a lot of people really, really

disliked him because he was a hard ass.

: 1019

00:32:18,488 --> 00:32:22,588

Um, he expected a lot and if you

didn't deliver, you were out.

: 1020

00:32:22,695 --> 00:32:26,635

he was People, people would

say he was a jerk or whatever.

: 1021

00:32:26,985 --> 00:32:30,335

I, I loved him because he held

us to a super high standard.

: 1022

00:32:30,578 --> 00:32:31,298

We

: 1023

00:32:31,393 --> 00:32:31,713

Maxine: knew

: 1024

00:32:31,713 --> 00:32:32,190

what he

: 1025

00:32:32,190 --> 00:32:32,637

expected.

: 1026

00:32:32,637 --> 00:32:37,552

I was going to say you, you He probably

had really clear expectations, really

: 1027

00:32:37,742 --> 00:32:39,202

Millie: expectations.

: 1028

00:32:40,022 --> 00:32:44,262

And if you met those expectations,

he was a friendly, wonderful guy.

: 1029

00:32:44,262 --> 00:32:48,828

Like just had, he just gave me a really,

really good high school choir experience.

: 1030

00:32:48,878 --> 00:32:50,288

which is where I felt home.

: 1031

00:32:50,318 --> 00:32:52,638

I felt home at choir,

in choir and theater.

: 1032

00:32:52,873 --> 00:32:55,953

The second teacher was my

theater teacher, Brian Putnam,

: 1033

00:32:56,252 --> 00:32:56,573

Maxine: used

: 1034

00:32:56,723 --> 00:32:57,313

Millie: Putty.

: 1035

00:32:57,538 --> 00:32:58,048

Maxine: That's cute.

: 1036

00:32:58,373 --> 00:32:58,723

Millie: Yep.

: 1037

00:32:58,783 --> 00:33:01,803

He's, um, moved on from education now.

: 1038

00:33:01,963 --> 00:33:03,103

he's probably retired actually.

: 1039

00:33:03,143 --> 00:33:03,433

I don't know.

: 1040

00:33:03,433 --> 00:33:09,580

I need to check on his Facebook, but,

um, he is just an incredible human being.

: 1041

00:33:09,660 --> 00:33:14,407

He gave all of us weirdos a place

to land, a place where we felt safe.

: 1042

00:33:14,710 --> 00:33:16,460

He treated us like adults.

: 1043

00:33:16,770 --> 00:33:21,360

he expected a lot from us, but

he was super supportive and.

: 1044

00:33:21,607 --> 00:33:25,740

He just gave us like a little

home, which I don't know.

: 1045

00:33:25,740 --> 00:33:27,940

I mean, I don't know I guess

I can't say he influenced my

: 1046

00:33:27,940 --> 00:33:29,760

life and like, oh, well, I

: 1047

00:33:29,768 --> 00:33:34,331

Maxine: influenced my life

in, like, oh, I modeled

: 1048

00:33:34,380 --> 00:33:35,460

Millie: Top of mind.

: 1049

00:33:35,730 --> 00:33:36,170

Yeah.

: 1050

00:33:36,180 --> 00:33:41,327

He was just a really good, and still is,

Obby, I'm sure, a really good human being

: 1051

00:33:41,337 --> 00:33:45,067

who just took a lot of misfits and gave us

: 1052

00:33:45,103 --> 00:33:52,517

Maxine: human being who just took

a lot of misfits and gave his best.

: 1053

00:33:53,553 --> 00:33:54,883

to make

: 1054

00:33:54,893 --> 00:33:59,083

this like serious impact on these

kids lives where they remember you for

: 1055

00:33:59,083 --> 00:34:01,923

all the right things or they remember

you for all the wrong shit, you know,

: 1056

00:34:01,923 --> 00:34:07,173

like you did damage to them or you

created this safe space for them.

: 1057

00:34:07,173 --> 00:34:08,902

You made them believe that they

: 1058

00:34:08,938 --> 00:34:09,168

Millie: could

: 1059

00:34:09,178 --> 00:34:09,518

achieve

: 1060

00:34:09,518 --> 00:34:09,967

anything

: 1061

00:34:09,973 --> 00:34:16,260

Maxine: like teachers know, but teachers

really have that power over kids and they

: 1062

00:34:16,260 --> 00:34:18,080

need to use it for good and not for bad.

: 1063

00:34:18,445 --> 00:34:22,235

I'm with you, like, I had teachers like

that, that, I had an English teacher

: 1064

00:34:22,518 --> 00:34:23,029

that,

: 1065

00:34:23,929 --> 00:34:27,509

as stated in a previous

podcast, I had a little bit of

: 1066

00:34:27,639 --> 00:34:28,139

behavior

: 1067

00:34:28,139 --> 00:34:28,639

trouble in

: 1068

00:34:28,639 --> 00:34:28,859

middle

: 1069

00:34:28,859 --> 00:34:30,879

school and she

: 1070

00:34:31,268 --> 00:34:36,998

loved me and loved all those things

about me and I, I mean I, English

: 1071

00:34:37,018 --> 00:34:42,233

was my jam anyway but I, Just super

succeeded because of her, because she

: 1072

00:34:42,233 --> 00:34:42,893

thought I was so

: 1073

00:34:42,893 --> 00:34:43,293

great.

: 1074

00:34:43,342 --> 00:34:46,172

Um, really all of my English

teachers were like that.

: 1075

00:34:46,193 --> 00:34:48,652

And then my choir teacher, my high

school choir teacher, same thing.

: 1076

00:34:48,862 --> 00:34:49,763

She was a hard ass.

: 1077

00:34:49,862 --> 00:34:50,913

Rika Harith.

: 1078

00:34:50,913 --> 00:34:53,172

She's still out there, uh, in the Midwest.

: 1079

00:34:53,663 --> 00:34:55,003

Incredible

: 1080

00:34:55,053 --> 00:34:55,693

teacher.

: 1081

00:34:55,693 --> 00:34:56,723

A lot of

: 1082

00:34:56,723 --> 00:34:57,293

people didn't like

: 1083

00:34:57,433 --> 00:34:57,543

her.

: 1084

00:34:58,323 --> 00:35:00,713

But, man, she helped us

to hide standards and

: 1085

00:35:00,929 --> 00:35:01,747

Millie: and we achieved

: 1086

00:35:01,747 --> 00:35:02,019

so

: 1087

00:35:02,019 --> 00:35:03,110

much because of her.

: 1088

00:35:03,110 --> 00:35:03,382

Exactly.

: 1089

00:35:03,382 --> 00:35:03,655

Yeah.

: 1090

00:35:03,655 --> 00:35:07,463

I mean, why do you think the high

school football team, half of

: 1091

00:35:07,594 --> 00:35:08,469

Maxine: of them weren't?

: 1092

00:35:08,469 --> 00:35:10,213

We had that too.

: 1093

00:35:10,213 --> 00:35:13,843

That is so interesting because I have

talked about my high school experience

: 1094

00:35:13,853 --> 00:35:18,900

being like that where, choir and

theater wasn't really seen as like the

: 1095

00:35:18,900 --> 00:35:23,640

dorky stuff and that there was a lot of

crossover between sports and, and arts

: 1096

00:35:24,150 --> 00:35:27,260

Millie: Sadly, our marching band was

not given the same amount of respect,

: 1097

00:35:27,700 --> 00:35:29,570

but they were good.

: 1098

00:35:29,590 --> 00:35:32,270

Yeah, they won, they won all

sorts of titles and stuff.

: 1099

00:35:32,270 --> 00:35:34,970

But yeah, they weren't, they

weren't treated quite as well, but

: 1100

00:35:35,056 --> 00:35:37,816

And it's so funny with teachers,

like it doesn't take a lot.

: 1101

00:35:37,836 --> 00:35:40,826

it doesn't your, your, your

room doesn't have to be perfect.

: 1102

00:35:40,826 --> 00:35:42,066

You don't have to spend a ton of money.

: 1103

00:35:42,066 --> 00:35:42,336

You don't

: 1104

00:35:42,336 --> 00:35:42,516

have to,

: 1105

00:35:43,226 --> 00:35:43,926

you just.

: 1106

00:35:44,376 --> 00:35:47,586

You need to connect with your students

: 1107

00:35:48,078 --> 00:35:48,858

Maxine: Absolutely.

: 1108

00:35:48,858 --> 00:35:51,978

Mm hmm.

: 1109

00:35:52,286 --> 00:35:54,806

Millie: the standards that you

hold for people, they will live

: 1110

00:35:54,806 --> 00:35:56,906

up to and that's what they did.

: 1111

00:35:57,316 --> 00:36:01,566

And I mean, I remember some of my,

my worst memories are times that I

: 1112

00:36:01,646 --> 00:36:02,216

Maxine: disappointed

: 1113

00:36:02,216 --> 00:36:02,356

one

: 1114

00:36:02,806 --> 00:36:03,226

Millie: one of

: 1115

00:36:03,226 --> 00:36:04,466

them and

: 1116

00:36:04,556 --> 00:36:05,396

they called me out.

: 1117

00:36:05,640 --> 00:36:08,360

And I just was like, I mean,

I have this one stupid memory.

: 1118

00:36:08,690 --> 00:36:12,486

I was assistant directing

a show, a straight show.

: 1119

00:36:12,786 --> 00:36:15,746

And he left, it was a comedy, left

the room and he said, I want you

: 1120

00:36:15,746 --> 00:36:17,026

to, you know, work on this scene.

: 1121

00:36:17,026 --> 00:36:19,106

And he came back and he

was like, what did you do?

: 1122

00:36:19,106 --> 00:36:21,676

I was like, you didn't,

there's nothing here.

: 1123

00:36:21,745 --> 00:36:22,731

Maxine: but you didn't

: 1124

00:36:22,731 --> 00:36:23,388

do anything.

: 1125

00:36:23,388 --> 00:36:24,216

And you felt like

: 1126

00:36:24,466 --> 00:36:27,716

Millie: And I felt, and I'm

telling you, it's been 30 years.

: 1127

00:36:27,736 --> 00:36:32,906

And I remember that moment of

being like, Oh my, like I fucked

: 1128

00:36:32,906 --> 00:36:34,286

up And

: 1129

00:36:34,286 --> 00:36:35,126

it wasn't because I meant to

: 1130

00:36:35,126 --> 00:36:35,466

fuck up.

: 1131

00:36:35,466 --> 00:36:35,856

I just

: 1132

00:36:36,116 --> 00:36:36,916

Maxine: I just did.

: 1133

00:36:36,916 --> 00:36:37,516

You just did.

: 1134

00:36:37,516 --> 00:36:39,206

Millie: And yeah.

: 1135

00:36:39,206 --> 00:36:39,276

Yeah.

: 1136

00:36:39,906 --> 00:36:40,036

Maxine: So,

: 1137

00:36:40,036 --> 00:36:40,116

I

: 1138

00:36:40,116 --> 00:36:40,426

mean,

: 1139

00:36:40,426 --> 00:36:40,830

you

: 1140

00:36:40,830 --> 00:36:41,233

know,

: 1141

00:36:41,233 --> 00:36:41,636

it's.

: 1142

00:36:41,636 --> 00:36:42,526

But he probably

: 1143

00:36:42,776 --> 00:36:43,583

Millie: didn't hold

: 1144

00:36:43,583 --> 00:36:44,390

me right.

: 1145

00:36:44,390 --> 00:36:44,793

Oh

: 1146

00:36:44,806 --> 00:36:45,186

Maxine: day.

: 1147

00:36:45,186 --> 00:36:47,026

But I know.

: 1148

00:36:47,026 --> 00:36:47,116

Yeah.

: 1149

00:36:47,286 --> 00:36:48,406

No, that's a good teacher.

: 1150

00:36:48,416 --> 00:36:49,186

I love to hear shit

: 1151

00:36:49,230 --> 00:36:50,036

Millie: great teacher.

: 1152

00:36:50,896 --> 00:36:52,116

And then he got moved into

: 1153

00:36:52,226 --> 00:36:52,246

Maxine: agree.

: 1154

00:36:52,866 --> 00:36:53,716

Millie: and then he got burned out and

: 1155

00:36:53,906 --> 00:36:55,126

Maxine: Yeah, that'll happen.

: 1156

00:36:55,326 --> 00:36:57,816

I'm, I'm real familiar with

administrative burnout.

: 1157

00:36:57,911 --> 00:36:58,971

Millie: I'm sure you are.

: 1158

00:37:01,068 --> 00:37:01,998

Maxine: So, all right, cool.

: 1159

00:37:01,998 --> 00:37:04,048

Thank you to our influential teachers.

: 1160

00:37:04,078 --> 00:37:05,508

You guys are all the best.

: 1161

00:37:05,723 --> 00:37:06,923

Millie: they were listening, but I don't

: 1162

00:37:07,003 --> 00:37:10,733

think that a podcast for 40

something moms is probably

: 1163

00:37:10,733 --> 00:37:11,533

their jam.

: 1164

00:37:12,088 --> 00:37:12,458

Maxine: not.

: 1165

00:37:12,563 --> 00:37:14,203

Millie: we'll send this

episode to them later.

: 1166

00:37:14,228 --> 00:37:14,628

Maxine: Yeah.

: 1167

00:37:15,338 --> 00:37:15,968

All right, guys.

: 1168

00:37:15,968 --> 00:37:18,058

Well, thanks for hanging

out with us again.

: 1169

00:37:18,108 --> 00:37:19,168

Millie: And

: 1170

00:37:19,728 --> 00:37:20,308

Maxine: And remember.

: 1171

00:37:20,978 --> 00:37:20,998

Millie: Bye.

: 1172

00:37:20,998 --> 00:37:23,388

Bye.

: 1173

00:37:23,698 --> 00:37:25,137

Maxine: with friends.

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