In this episode, I share with you how setting boundaries helps with your anxiety. Maybe you've felt overwhelmed by constant demands from others, leaving you feeling drained and anxious. Or perhaps you've struggled to prioritize your own needs and find yourself constantly sacrificing your well-being for the sake of others. Maybe, you might have experienced difficulty saying no to additional commitments, leading to feelings of stress and burnout. This episode will help you explore the transformative power of setting boundaries and how it can lead to greater peace and well-being in your life.

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You're listening to the Peace With Anxiety Podcast.

I am your host, Irene Evangelo, anxiety counselor and clinical hypnotherapist.

I'll be coming to you every week to share actionable tips, simple strategies and useful resources to help you break free from high function anxiety.

We'll be covering how to recognize and understand your anxiety, strategies to change your thoughts and feelings, ways to implement long lasting change.

If you are trying to overcome people pleasing behaviors, navigate anxiety, living in self doubt or something else keeping you stuck, then you are in the right place.

I know that you are ready to get to the next level of your life feeling free, calm, confident and in control.

So let's get started.

Hello and welcome back to episode seven of the Peace With Anxiety Podcast.

So today I'm talking about setting boundaries for anxiety.

But before we begin, I want to take a moment to hear from you.

Because setting boundaries is essential for a happy, healthy, meaningful and anxiety free life.

I would love to hear about your experiences and insights.

So I want you to think about a recent situation where you felt your boundaries were being challenged in any way.

It could be in relationships, it could be at work or even within yourself.

And once you do this, I want you to reflect on how you responded to that situation and what you learned from it and keep that scenario in mind as we are discussing today's episode as it will help you understand why you felt the way you did, why you responded the way you did, and what to do if something like this ever happens again.

So specifically today we will be talking about the importance of setting boundaries as a means of managing anxiety.

We will explore what boundaries are, why they're crucial for our mental health, and I'm going to offer you practical tips for establishing and maintaining them in our lives.

Now, at the end of the episode, I'm also gonna recommend to you an exercise for boundaries that you don't want to miss.

So stay tuned until the end.

If you feel overworked and burned out, if you feel like you never have time for yourself, if you feel like you always do work more for others than they do for you, if you take on other people's struggles, if you often feel guilty saying no, and if you feel angry too often with your loved ones, then there is a chance you need to set better boundaries.

So let's begin by briefly explaining what boundaries are.

Boundaries are essentially guidelines, rules or limits that a person creates to identify reasonable, safe and permissible ways for others to behave towards them and how they will respond when someone passes those limits.

So here are some Examples of boundaries There are time boundaries, so setting aside specific times for work, leisure and rest, and not allowing others to intrude upon those times without permission.

There are also emotional boundaries, recognizing and communicating your emotional needs and limits, such as expressing when certain topics are off limits for discussion or when space is needed to process feelings.

There are of course physical boundaries, so respecting personal space and physical touch preferences, whether it is in social interactions or intimate relationships.

There are material boundaries establishing limits on lending and borrowing, possessions, money or resources to maintain fairness and prevent exploitation.

And finally there are digital managing accessibility and availability online, such as setting boundaries around responding to emails or messages after work hours.

The truth is that your needs are as important as everyone else's when you know that your needs matter, that you are important, that you are lovable.

Once you know this, you are able to give and receive love and time with ease.

But there needs to be a balance between giving and receiving, which is similar to breathing.

So if you feel comfortable, try doing this exercise with me.

So breathe out, breathe fully out.

And this is the act of giving.

And now breathe in all the way in, which is the act of receiving.

And that goes back and forth, right?

Breathe in means receiving, Breathe out means giving.

But now try breathing out and really breathing out.

All the way out.

Keep giving and giving, love, giving, time, giving and giving.

How does that feel?

Isn't it draining?

Isn't it exhausting?

So this balance needs to be equal in order to be able to maintain healthy relationship with others, but also with yourself.

Now this imbalance often comes from this fear of not being lovable, not feeling enough that the people in your life somehow abandon you if you say no, if you're not always there for them.

And that fear is causing your anxiety and it's making you being so hyper focused on other people's emotions to be the fixer or the rescuer in your relationships.

When you become aware that your boundaries are being violated, you tend to find excuses for that person's behavior and you continue placing their needs above your own.

Now also, sometimes many of us have been brought up with the notion of being nice to everyone is important, making them happy is important, and always doing the right thing and the good thing as often as possible.

So it's no wonder that many find it difficult to set appropriate boundaries as they get older, because seemingly harmless phrases such as I don't care if you don't wanna hug your grandfather, it's rude not to.

That phrase can instil guilt in a child who will then be conditioned to always put other people's needs first and to be a people pleaser.

They don't want to offend or hurt anyone, even when that avoidance ultimately means hurting themselves.

Now, being nice is wonderful and all, but not at the expense of your own well being.

So why are boundaries essential for managing anxiety?

Well, when boundaries are not established or respected, you may find yourself constantly feeling overwhelmed, drained or even violated in your interactions with others.

You may feel overstimulated from external stressors, demands or expectations which then causes you more anxiety leading to heightened levels of stress, fatigue and emotional dysregulation.

So when you set clear boundaries, you can create a safety zone that protects you from constant external stressors and allows you to regulate your exposure to them more effectively.

Boundaries also serve as a protective mechanism against harmful or triggering influences that may contribute to anxiety.

Whether it's toxic relationships, intrusive thoughts or overwhelming environments, establishing and enforcing boundaries helps you maintain a sense of safety and autonomy in your interactions and surroundings.

By establishing what is acceptable and unacceptable in your life, you can proactively alleviate the impact of potential anxiety provoking situations.

Setting boundaries also empowers you to advocate for your own well being and assert your needs and preferences which then creates an empowering sense of agency and control over your anxiety.

Instead of feeling helpless or overwhelmed by your symptoms, so you cultivate a greater sense of resilience which can increase your ability to cope with anxiety more effectively.

Boundaries are definitely a key to self care practices as they encourage you to prioritize your mental, emotional and physical well being.

When you establish boundaries around time, energy and resources, you have sufficient resources for self care activities that promote relaxation and stress reduction.

So this proactive approach can prevent future episodes of anxiety.

Finally, healthy boundaries are fundamental to creating positive and supportive relationships with others.

Only when you clearly communicate your needs, limits and expectations, you can have relationships that are based on mutual respect, empathy and understanding.

Otherwise, when you constantly put other people's needs above your own, you start to resent the other person due to unmet needs or constant overstepping of boundaries.

So now I want to give you some practical tips for establishing boundaries.

First, begin by taking time to reflect on your own needs, triggers and limits.

So consider areas of your life where you may feel overwhelmed or drained and identify specific boundaries that could help alleviate these feelings.

Second, once you have identified your boundaries, communicate them assertively but respectfully to those around you.

Use I statements to express your needs and preferences and provide specific examples to demonstrate your boundaries.

For example, instead of saying you always make me feel overwhelmed, you could say I feel overwhelmed when I have too many tasks assigned to me and this shifts the focus to your feelings and experiences without placing blame on the other person.

Third, consistency is key to maintaining boundaries effectively, so once you have established your boundaries, stick to them even when it's challenging or uncomfortable.

Avoid making exceptions or allowing boundary violations as it sends a clear message that your well being is non negotiable.

Tip four is to prioritize self care activities that help you recharge and reinforce your boundaries.

Whether it's engaging in hobbies, spending time in nature or practicing relaxation techniques, make self care a non negotiable part of your routine.

When you prioritize your well being and invest in activities that nourish your mind and body, you strengthen your resilience and ability to maintain those healthy boundaries in the face of stressors.

Number five is to seek support whether it is from trusted friends, family members or mental health professionals.

Surround yourself with individuals who respect and validate your boundaries and seek guidance from those who have experience in boundary setting and self care practices.

Finally, while consistency is important, it is also essential to be flexible and adaptable when life changes or personal needs change.

So be open to re evaluate and adjust your boundaries as necessary and don't be afraid to communicate changes to those affected by them.

Flexibility allows you to maintain a healthy balance between assertiveness and empathy, ensuring that your boundaries evolve along with your needs and priorities.

Setting boundaries is a skill that requires practice and patience that can help you also create healthier relationships, reduce stress and reclaim control over your life.

So please remember that setting those boundaries is not selfish, it is an act of self care and self love.

So for this week I have an exercise for you to try if you want to so you can really take in what we talked about today and also start seeing changes in your life.

So I would encourage you to take some time to identify one area in your life where you feel your boundaries are being violated or where you need to establish clearer limits for your mental well being.

It could be in your relationships, work or even with yourself in terms of self care routines.

Once you have identified this area, I want you to think specific boundaries you can set to better protect your peace of mind and once you do that, choose just one boundary you've identified that is easy to commit to and start implement that specific boundary today.

Whether it's saying no to additional commitments, setting aside designated time for yourself every day, or establishing communication boundaries with certain individuals, take action to honor your boundary and throughout the week observe how honoring this boundary affects your stress levels, anxiety and overall well being.

Notice any resistance that comes up for you, but be compassionate to yourself as you navigate this new process.

Now.

Finally, if you want to, you can make some notes every day and at the end of the week take some time to read them and reflect on your experience.

What has worked well, what challenges did you encounter and how can you further define or redefine this boundary Moving forward Now, as always, if you need support in your Peace With Anxiety journey, feel free to book a free 30 minute call with me where I can offer you personalized guidance and resources to help you break free from anxiety.

Until next time, take care and be kind to yourself.

Thank you for listening to the Peace With Anxiety podcast.

If you found any value in today, I would really appreciate if you would leave me a review and share this episode on your Instagram story tagging me at Irene the Anxietytherapist.

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All the links are found below in the show Notes.

Thank you for listening and I look forward to seeing you the next episode.