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Stevie Dawn Carter | How emotional intelligence will help you become a better communicator and what we can learn from sharks
Episode 14320th May 2022 • Podfluence • John Ball
00:00:00 00:52:15

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Many of us have had that feeling of being invisible, in life and in business, especially if we are on the introverted side of the scale. If that's you, you're going to love this episode with Stevie Dawn Carter where we discuss emotional intelligence, performance energy and how to be someone who is getting noticed for the right reasons.

Most of us have heard about emotional intelligence but most people don't really know what it means. Stevie is going to explain all of that and how emotional intelligence is a key aspect of improving your communication and connection skills. I learned a lot in my chat with Stevie and I know you will too.

Dr Stevie Dawn Carter is a professional speaker and coach based out of Mansfield, Texas. Her experience as a 4-time business owner, along with her work in the private and public sector, allows her to enhance her presentations with real-life stories and examples that are applicable to every audience. Her educational background includes a master’s degree in sociology from Wichita State University and a doctorate in leadership from Colorado State University. With over 20 years of teaching and training experience, Dr Stevie Dawn approaches every engagement with humour, inspiration, and energy to get people moving towards their best lives.

In this episode:

  • Connect to your why
  • Overcome feeling invisible
  • What is EQ?
  • How does EQ relate to communication?
  • The difference between good and bad performance energy
  • How to pump up your energy
  • Why you should be more like a shark and more...

In the episode, Dr Stevie promised you a special checklist and you can grab that here you can visit Stevie's own website here: http://www.drsteviedawn.com/ and get your copy of Always Be The Shark here

To connect with Stevie on social media, here's where to go:

Instagram Facebook LinkedIn Twitter

Dr Stevie's book recommendations were Emotional Intelligence 2.0 by Travis Bradberry, Atomic Habits by James Clear and Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert.

Want to find out what podcasting could do for your business? Take this short quiz https://mrqz.to/podcastpossibilities

Come and join other professionals who are building their authority through podcasting in the Podfluencers Facebook Group https://bit.ly/3aesFPJ

Did you enjoy the show? Did you learn anything new or useful? If you did, then the best way to show your appreciation is by sharing the show with your online network. Tag me and I'll give you a shout out on an upcoming episode. Leave a review and I'll read it out on the show.

Of course, if you REALLY liked it, you're welcome to support the show financially too using the link below.

Support the show (https://speakinginfluence.supercast.tech/)

Transcripts

Stevie Dawn Carter:

As a child, I felt invisible and I hated that feeling.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

And I did a lot of things that probably weren't smart to try

Stevie Dawn Carter:

and get out of that feeling.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

And now as an adult, I look around me and I see adults who feel invisible.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

They don't see their greatness.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

They don't feel like they're being seen by the world.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

And I want to make sure that that doesn't happen.

Johnny:

Welcome to the show.

Johnny:

My name is Johnny Ball.

Johnny:

This is Speaking Influence the show where we delve into the world of influence

Johnny:

and persuasion to help you build your influence on authority and become a

Johnny:

more powerfully persuasive communicator.

Johnny:

You just had a brief clip from my guest today, and we are going to be talking

Johnny:

about amongst other things, emotional intelligence on how important that is

Johnny:

in terms of all of your presentations and your communication skills.

Johnny:

We'll be talking about that performance, energy, and really a whole host of

Johnny:

things that are going to help you in being able to be a better speaker and

Johnny:

communicator, especially in the world of podcasts and public speaking, the

Johnny:

places where you might want to be building up your authority and influence.

Johnny:

At the end of June, 2022, Speaking Influence is going to be transforming

Johnny:

and changing its name and rebranding.

Johnny:

And I hope you'll stay with us for that.

Johnny:

We are going to be focusing much more into podcasting as part of influence and

Johnny:

persuasion in the professional world while still having some amazing conversations

Johnny:

with influence and persuasion experts from other walks as well.

Johnny:

You'll be hearing a lot more from me with shorter solo episodes,

Johnny:

where we'll be talking about some of the resources that are going

Johnny:

to be particularly helpful to you.

Johnny:

And also talking about some of my own information and learning an

Johnny:

experience around building influence I'm persuasion through podcast.

Johnny:

My guest today is Stevie Dawn Carter.

Johnny:

She's an expert in emotional intelligence.

Johnny:

I know you're going to love what you have to say.

Johnny:

We had a really fun conversation.

Johnny:

There's lots of great takeaways for you.

Johnny:

You may want to take notes on this and certainly check

Johnny:

out the show notes as well.

Johnny:

So you can get in touch with Stevie afterwards.

Johnny:

If you're not already subscribed to the show and you're like, what you

Johnny:

hear today, make sure you do subscribe and come and leave us a review.

Johnny:

It would mean the world to me.

Johnny:

What I want you to do right now though

Johnny:

is enjoy the show.

Johnny:

Welcome to you Speaking Influence.

Johnny:

And today I am very privileged to be joined in my virtual studio by someone

Johnny:

who has incredibly interesting background, but is here to talk with us about things

Johnny:

like speaking and emotional intelligence and a few, possibly a few other things

Johnny:

besides, so let's officially welcome.

Johnny:

Stevie Dawn Carter to the show..

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Hello, hello.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Thank you so much for having me.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

I'm just so excited to be here.

Johnny:

I'm really pleased to have you here.

Johnny:

And I've been looking forward to speaking with you as well.

Johnny:

And I'm going to kick off as I do with every show by asking you, who

Johnny:

would it be if you had to, if I asked you, who would you choose for someone

Johnny:

who has been an inspiration to you with their influence and persuasion

Johnny:

and for how they've utilized it?

Johnny:

Who would that be?

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Oh, gosh, that's a tough question.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

I think, you know, in, in the latter part of my life, right early part of

Stevie Dawn Carter:

my life, I probably would have picked some rockstar superstar influencer.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Right.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

But I feel like as I get later in life, I go for a little bit

Stevie Dawn Carter:

more, the more realistic down to earth influencers, right?

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Not necessarily mega stars, but people who have made a huge influence on me.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

And so for that, I, the first name that popped into my head as you

Stevie Dawn Carter:

asked, was a Doctor Tajita Fulkerson.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

And she was a president at a college that I worked at, uh, years ago.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

And she was this person who just had the ability to walk

Stevie Dawn Carter:

into a room and change the vibe.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Make everybody feel better, make everybody feel like they mattered.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

And I always really looked up to her in that space and we did

Stevie Dawn Carter:

get to spend some time together.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

But I think right now, if I were to call her up, I would love to

Stevie Dawn Carter:

have that conversation of just, how did you grow in your ability to

Stevie Dawn Carter:

influence and speak to people and make people feel good by your presence?

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Because I think that's an amazing trait that she had.

Johnny:

Do you feel for yourself that there were some things that

Johnny:

you have tried to emulate from her?

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Oh, definitely.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

I think one of the things I always think about, and I still tell the

Stevie Dawn Carter:

story at events all the time is, she was a leader who she ran this

Stevie Dawn Carter:

huge college with thousands of employees and all these things.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

But if she walked around the building, the campus, whatever, and she saw trash

Stevie Dawn Carter:

on the floor, she picked it up and threw it away because her thing was the

Stevie Dawn Carter:

building and everything we do within it,

Stevie Dawn Carter:

we are always leading by example.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

And so I have often found myself thinking about when people come to our events, when

Stevie Dawn Carter:

people just yesterday, I had a live event.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

I picked up some trash in between things.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

And I think part of that is just her influence on you lead by example,

Stevie Dawn Carter:

make sure everything that's in your space is leading, even if that's the

Stevie Dawn Carter:

quality and niceness of the building.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

So yeah, I do think I take some of those things that she did and I do them,

Stevie Dawn Carter:

whether I realize it in the moment or not.

Johnny:

Great.

Johnny:

Wonderful, wonderful answer.

Johnny:

and we can all strive to be a bit more like that in our lives.

Johnny:

I think that's a good way to think about things and not just think

Johnny:

about all the different ways we can impact our environments and

Johnny:

how that actually affects people.

Johnny:

Maybe.

Johnny:

Consciously or directly, but the stuff that people pick up

Johnny:

on and realize that does make a big difference in the long run.

Johnny:

I love that.

Johnny:

So let's start talking a little bit more about what you do, cause a lot of

Johnny:

the audience for this show are going to find that you are in a similar.

Johnny:

Yeah.

Johnny:

Say avatar similar needs to them, the life of being, uh, someone

Johnny:

who is a speaker, someone who does events and someone who has some

Johnny:

expertise in your particular area.

Johnny:

And so I think that should make you really very relatable to

Johnny:

the audience for this show.

Johnny:

Tell us a little bit about the event that you've just done and

Johnny:

what it is that you were teaching.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Yeah.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Yeah, absolutely.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Um, so we just had our unstoppable success event.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Um, it's a one day live event.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

We also do a virtual version, but yesterday.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

One day live event, and it's really about helping people to focus in

Stevie Dawn Carter:

and, and really target their dreams.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

I think as adults, we get stuck into goals and while I think goals are good,

Stevie Dawn Carter:

I think vision and dreams are better.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

And so it's really about helping people say, okay, you can have goals that,

Stevie Dawn Carter:

you know, your boss gives you or your clients give you deadlines or whatever

Stevie Dawn Carter:

those things may be, but what are you really trying to strive for in your.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Outside of the work outside of the family, like the whole overall picture.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

And are you doing things every day to get you.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

I, I definitely found myself decades ago, not doing that and found myself

Stevie Dawn Carter:

kind of in that place of stuck.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

And I feel like I'm doing all the things that people say I should

Stevie Dawn Carter:

do, but I don't feel good about it.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

I don't love it.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

What's missing.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

And I had to get clear on my vision and it was life-changing for me.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

So yesterday was taking people through some of that same process I went

Stevie Dawn Carter:

through and helping them connect to their why and their vision in life, so

Stevie Dawn Carter:

that they can have unstoppable success.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

been really a great day.

Johnny:

Yeah.

Johnny:

Fantastic.

Johnny:

Sounds like a wonderful event.

Johnny:

What, what did that vision end up being for you?

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Yeah.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Yeah.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

So my vision is really about speaking and I never saw myself as a speaker

Stevie Dawn Carter:

growing up that would have never been a profession that I would have considered.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Right.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

But I love.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Being able to share a message and see people's eyes light up.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

See people have that aha moment in an audience.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

And I feel just absolutely ecstatic about being on that stage and doing that

Stevie Dawn Carter:

work like that is what gets me up in the morning every morning to do this job.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

And so for me, my vision.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Is all around using my speaking to impact others and my why behind it is

Stevie Dawn Carter:

so that nobody ever feels invisible.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Because as a child, I felt invisible and I hated that feeling.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

And I did a lot of things that probably weren't smart to try

Stevie Dawn Carter:

and get out of that feeling.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

And now as an adult, I look around me and I see adults who feel invisible.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

They don't see their greatness.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

They don't feel like they're being seen by the world.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

And I want to make sure that that doesn't happen.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

So for me, That vision of speaking tied in with my why of invisibility is

Stevie Dawn Carter:

really what, what keeps me going every.

Johnny:

That'That's a powerfuling force and it's important.

Johnny:

I think one of my, one of my earliest episodes, I was speaking

Johnny:

with Mike Michalowicz about this.

Johnny:

And and he, he was explaining what his driving force was, what his

Johnny:

why and his mission were as well.

Johnny:

Yeah, he's on this mission to eradicate entrepreneurial poverty.

Johnny:

So since we all, what is it?

Johnny:

What is it for you?

Johnny:

And and I think my mine is probably a bit more along the same lines as you,

Johnny:

but I, I said, I think I was being a bit flippant at time and I said something

Johnny:

like oh, maybe, uh, I, I just don't want people to have to sit through a

Johnny:

boring presentations and events anymore.

Johnny:

And it's like, well, you, the kind of, part of it, like I see my driving

Johnny:

thing as being this, or I really want.

Johnny:

Educate and entertain.

Johnny:

And then some people are calling this edutainment kind of thing.

Johnny:

And that is really where, where I see myself being.

Johnny:

And similarly to you, as I think of when you see people's eyes light up,

Johnny:

when you see people making connections or people come back to you and say,

Johnny:

oh, this has transformed how I think about this, or this is what I'm going

Johnny:

to do differently now, or later on.

Johnny:

I have changed, and this is what I've achieved because of what we've done there.

Johnny:

That is really powerful for motivating you and driving you forward.

Johnny:

Everyone should have that if they're going to go forward, because if

Johnny:

you, if you don't, I think you're just gonna make me feel like you're

Johnny:

just throwing stuff out there.

Johnny:

And I was talking about this before on the show about just sending

Johnny:

stuff out into the void and not really getting any feedback from it.

Johnny:

It's a frustrating.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

It is.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

And I feel like as, especially as entrepreneurs, I think

Stevie Dawn Carter:

that's always a struggle.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Right.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

We hear all the time, create content, put out content, put out

Stevie Dawn Carter:

content and that's beautiful and you should absolutely 100% do that.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

But there's an element to me of speaking that I really appreciate,

Stevie Dawn Carter:

which is, but you get feedback in the moment at that time, you get to see

Stevie Dawn Carter:

it, you get to feel it in the room.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

You know, if your content is hitting.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

And I feel like so often some of our content production is, you

Stevie Dawn Carter:

know, I put a post on social media.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

It gets a couple likes.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Did it really hit?

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Do people really enjoy it or were they just clicking the button?

Stevie Dawn Carter:

You know, I don't, I don't get feedback from that.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

One of the things I think that keeps me in the speaking game is

Stevie Dawn Carter:

I love the, the feedback you get from the audience to your point.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

So huge.

Johnny:

Yeah.

Johnny:

You've uh, when we talked about, what about, you mentioned about emotional

Johnny:

intelligence and, and some people might be unfamiliar with that term, but can

Johnny:

you describe what emotional intelligence.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Yeah, absolutely.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

So I define emotional intelligence as the learned ability, right.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

It can be learned.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

You're not born with it.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

The learned ability to regulate.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Your emotions effectively.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Right?

Stevie Dawn Carter:

So we have to be able to not let our emotions drive our whole

Stevie Dawn Carter:

entire world, but then it's also emotional intelligence is being able

Stevie Dawn Carter:

to interpret messages correctly.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

There's an element of emotional intelligence that is woven

Stevie Dawn Carter:

into all communication.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Are you able to truly listen to the words of another human.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Without letting your emotion color, what you believe is being said.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

And so for me that that's emotional intelligence.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

It's making sure I don't let my emotions rule my life.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

It's also making sure that when I'm communicating with somebody, I don't

Stevie Dawn Carter:

let my emotions color what they're saying, because my emotions are mine.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

They may not be theirs.

Johnny:

yeah.

Johnny:

How, how useful or important is emotional intelligence to you as a speaker?

Stevie Dawn Carter:

I think as a speaker, it's critical.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

I think for two reasons, number one, it's the ability to

Stevie Dawn Carter:

communicate effectively, right?

Stevie Dawn Carter:

How do you give a message?

Stevie Dawn Carter:

That's going to impact people.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

And I think as speakers, emotion can be a tool, right?

Stevie Dawn Carter:

How do I use an emotional story and emotional pitch to

Stevie Dawn Carter:

hook people into learning?

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Right.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

And I do think there's some emotional intelligence that

Stevie Dawn Carter:

speaker's used to do that.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

The second part though, that I think speakers have to focus on

Stevie Dawn Carter:

is making sure you regulate your emotions before you go on stage.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

I have seen so many speakers show up on stage.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

And felt like they weren't 100% present.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

They were thinking about something else.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Something bad had happened, all of this.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

And, and I always say the people in front of me or even the person in front

Stevie Dawn Carter:

of me does not deserve any less of an experience because I'm having a bad day.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Right.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

I'm having a bad day because of life over here.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Part of being a speaker is being able to step on that stage.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

And nobody notices.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

And I do think that's an emotional intelligence skill.

Johnny:

yeah.

Johnny:

Not going to ask you to name names, but can you think of, or describe a specific

Johnny:

situation where, where you've seen that and what was it that made you think?

Johnny:

Hmm.

Johnny:

Now that person doesn't seem to be fully present here and.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Yeah.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

So I think I'm trying to think back.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

I think the most recent ones, probably the most obvious, so, uh, probably

Stevie Dawn Carter:

about three months ago now I was at a conference, several speakers throughout

Stevie Dawn Carter:

the day, but we had a keynote speaker at lunch and the bio they read, right.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

The.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

The kind of preview of that speaker was he was going to be energetic,

Stevie Dawn Carter:

lively, and he was a comedian.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

So there should have been a lot of humor and a lot of fun.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Right.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

And so I was really looking forward to, I always like

Stevie Dawn Carter:

watching other speakers, right.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

So I was really looking forward to it.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

And I remember sitting there and he comes up on stage and he

Stevie Dawn Carter:

just walks kind of hunched over.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

He's got like, his shoulders are kind of huh, he's kinda dragging his

Stevie Dawn Carter:

feet and I instinctively thought.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

my gosh, this is like a comedy sketch.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Like he's going to do something with this and then he just started talking.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

And there was nothing bad about what he said, but it didn't sound convincing.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

It didn't sound like he was speaking sincerely.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

It sounded like he was doing the same speech.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

He had done 50 times and he was bored with.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

And so I really felt like he had been touted as this huge thing.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

And then it was just kinda like humdrum.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

It was a little mundane, it was a little boring.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

And I really looked at that and said, I wonder if there's something going on in

Stevie Dawn Carter:

his life that made today, not a good day.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Right.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

And he just, he got through it and I applaud him.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

He, he went up, he did it, he got through it, but I felt like

Stevie Dawn Carter:

we deserved more as an audience.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

And I think that's something as speakers that we always have to consider.

Johnny:

I agree.

Johnny:

And I think we've probably all encountered those sorts of situations

Johnny:

where we expected, or at least hoped for more in a presentation or

Johnny:

a speech or something or workshops or any kind of situation like that.

Johnny:

And it can definitely be a little bit disappointing.

Johnny:

That phoned it in energy is, and isn't really ever going to cut it.

Johnny:

You have to bring a lot more to it.

Johnny:

So this, this is a good thing to talk about and it's something I like

Johnny:

talking about a lot in the show.

Johnny:

Cause I don't think personally it can ever get talked about enough is this energy

Johnny:

that you need to bring to the stage?

Johnny:

As a speaker to, to engage an audience, the sort of level of charisma or

Johnny:

X-Factor, whatever you want to call it.

Johnny:

But what is that to you?

Johnny:

What does that look like to you personally?

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Yeah.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

I, I think it's so right, right.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

We, we all have as speakers and energy, we bring, and I think number one, it's

Stevie Dawn Carter:

about being authentic to yourself.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Right?

Stevie Dawn Carter:

What kind of energy is your energy?

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Right.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

So some people are funny.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Some people are powerful.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Some people are soft-spoken, but have amazing things to say, right?

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Everybody's energy is a little bit different, but I really, before

Stevie Dawn Carter:

every presentation I do two things.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Right?

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Number one, I listen to a pump-up playlist.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

I think everybody should use music to get ready to go on stage it always.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Whatever your best music is.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Right.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

And it's different for all people.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

But I like to put on songs that just make me get my heart pumping

Stevie Dawn Carter:

and make me want to clap and move.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

And that movement in my body brings energy to the stage.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Right.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

So I think one of the biggest mistakes we can make as speakers

Stevie Dawn Carter:

is just sitting in the back of the room, waiting for it to be.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

And then we're kind of like having to trudge up to this, that stage.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Right.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

I always like to find some quiet space and kind of dance it out, get my blood pumping

Stevie Dawn Carter:

because that helps me have more energy.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

But the second thing I always do is I always go into a presentation

Stevie Dawn Carter:

saying this audience deserves my best.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

So shake off everything else that's going on, right.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Shake off, not feeling great.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Shake off the jet lag, whatever it is, like, shake that off and come in and be

Stevie Dawn Carter:

like, this audience deserves my best.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

And there's somebody here who needs what I'm about to say.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

And I owe it to them to show up 100%.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

So for me, it's get the blood pumping and then get your mindset, right?

Stevie Dawn Carter:

So that you can show up fully.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

And I always believe that the number one way to engage an audience is to be a

Stevie Dawn Carter:

little larger than life because they see a lot of presenters that just go through

Stevie Dawn Carter:

a slide deck with their clicker and have no personality, bring your personality.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

And then I always teach my clients, take it up about 5% from normal, right?

Stevie Dawn Carter:

So here's your normal personality as a speaker.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

I want you up.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

I want you for it.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

I want you a little bit bigger because you got to show up on that stage and nothing

Stevie Dawn Carter:

makes you feel more small, I think, than if you're being small and you're

Stevie Dawn Carter:

in front of a room of 4,000 people, you got to be larger so that the people in

Stevie Dawn Carter:

the back of the room feel your energy.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

And I think

Johnny:

I agree.

Johnny:

Oh, the other, I say maybe if your natural energy is already at an 11, maybe there's

Johnny:

not going to be that much room to turn it.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Right.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Like maybe you just go to 12 and you're done.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Right.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

But if you're normally a five, maybe it deserves a nine, right?

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Like let's try and bump it up a little bit.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

And I think that one of the things that really separate great speakers from, okay.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Speakers is energy.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

It's it's.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

What energy do you put into your voice into your body, into your face?

Stevie Dawn Carter:

I always look at speaking is acting on stage.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

I look at it as a performance, just like a play would be a performance, right?

Stevie Dawn Carter:

There's a script.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

There's timing.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

There's pauses.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

There's all the pieces of a quote unquote show.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

So are you putting on a show?

Johnny:

Right.

Johnny:

I would maybe think about that in the same way as perhaps a musician going on

Johnny:

stage to perform, whether it's a singer or a guitarist or whatever, and now

Johnny:

they just go on and sing the words or just stand there and play the guitar.

Johnny:

I don't really bring much personality or character.

Johnny:

You might enjoy the music.

Johnny:

It might be perfectly pleasant, but when they really bring some

Johnny:

character and performance to it, it turns everything up to it.

Johnny:

To a whole new level.

Johnny:

I was particularly particularly laughing to myself, was smiling.

Johnny:

When you were saying about having the pump up, I actually have a playlist on

Johnny:

my own on Spotify that I created myself, which is called pump it up Johnny.

Johnny:

That's what, that's what goes on before I'm doing a presentation.

Johnny:

I can say relate to that.

Johnny:

Have a similar.

Johnny:

A similar process, but it's a, I think it is just the thing that people don't fully

Johnny:

realize how much energy leads, energy.

Johnny:

Like if you have to think about what's going on with your audience.

Johnny:

So, you know, you put yourself in that mindset, you said, I think about

Johnny:

no, what you're doing this for them.

Johnny:

And you, you know, you want to bring your best and somebody needs

Johnny:

to hear this tonight, being a great way to think about it because it

Johnny:

motivates you to turn that up.

Johnny:

But, but you also then have to be thinking about what is going on

Johnny:

for them whilst you're presenting.

Johnny:

Like if you're not emotionally leading the energy, they're not going to be

Johnny:

emotionally following you either.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

No, and, and emotion is how we connect to people, right?

Stevie Dawn Carter:

That's why as speakers, we always say speakers should be great storytellers

Stevie Dawn Carter:

because stories have emotion.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

And when we attach to emotion, people are more willing to learn and

Stevie Dawn Carter:

listen and lean in to a conversation.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Right.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

And so you have to be thoughtful as a speaker of what

Stevie Dawn Carter:

emotion are you bringing in?

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Are you leading them down that journey?

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Right.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

And I think sometimes we can overlook it, because we're, we're in our

Stevie Dawn Carter:

own head or in our own kind of situation that we're dealing with.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

And I know we all go through stuff like no doubt, we all go through stuff, but

Stevie Dawn Carter:

I, I always feel like as a speaker, you are to your word, a leader, and are

Stevie Dawn Carter:

you leading them through your content with the emotion, with the energy

Stevie Dawn Carter:

to get them to lean in and learn.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

And I think that's something we always have to think.

Johnny:

Do you primarily see yourself as a speaker or a

Johnny:

coach or a trainer or an author?

Johnny:

I mean, what do you mainly see yourself as?

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Yeah.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

I always tell people I'm a speaker first and a coach second.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

My passion in life is the stage.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

And that's in all facets of my life.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

By the way, I also run a non-profit theater company.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

So I do theater at night and speaking during the day.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

So I love a stage.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

That is my happy place.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

It's where I feel the most

Stevie Dawn Carter:

me, which I know some people feel like onstage you're

Stevie Dawn Carter:

acting, so you're not yourself.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

I'm actually the most me on stage.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

So that is always where I would say my number one, places is

Stevie Dawn Carter:

on the stage as a speaker.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

I think as I've gotten to do more speaking, I've learned that

Stevie Dawn Carter:

the speaking itself is great.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

But implementation happens through coaching.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

And so I've become a coach to help people implement things I say in my presentation.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

So, so coaching was something I learned to do after I became a speaker because

Stevie Dawn Carter:

I saw a disconnect between showing up .And delivering this powerful keynote

Stevie Dawn Carter:

and then people wouldn't do anything.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

So I found by learning how to be a coach and having coaching support my speaking.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Now I take them from the presentation and go, if you want to implement this,

Stevie Dawn Carter:

here's the coaching program to do so.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

And so I feel like they're a natural connection, but if people just ask me and

Stevie Dawn Carter:

I have to pick one, I always pick speaker.

Johnny:

Yeah.

Johnny:

What, what does.

Johnny:

The setup of your business without having to, obviously you don't want to bring out

Johnny:

all your secrets here, but I know that a lot of the people who tune into the

Johnny:

show will, will be thinking what I have in the similar area or having similar

Johnny:

kind of ideas and kind of businesses.

Johnny:

So what is the structure of your business model for yourself then?

Johnny:

Is it primarily speaking gigs and then they come into a weekly coaching

Johnny:

program or I'll let you describe.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Yeah, but that was really, that was really close to it.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Right there.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

You just nailed it.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

So, yeah, so I consider 85% of my income comes from speaking or speaking

Stevie Dawn Carter:

related things, training for companies.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

And some of that, I do a lot less training now and a lot more speaking, but it's all

Stevie Dawn Carter:

in that kind of speaking realm for me.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

So, so 80 to 85% of my income comes from speaking.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Right?

Stevie Dawn Carter:

So that's my first thing.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

That's where I put all my energy in terms of prospecting, marketing, all

Stevie Dawn Carter:

of that, all in the speaking realm.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Then what I typically do is when I go and I do a speech, I always invite

Stevie Dawn Carter:

people to join either my webinar list,

Stevie Dawn Carter:

or my weekly inspiration list, depending on the event, depending on the people

Stevie Dawn Carter:

I do free webinars every month.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

And so anybody on the webinar list gets invited to my webinars, those webinars

Stevie Dawn Carter:

pitch my coaching programs and like.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

If they go onto the weekly inspiration email list, then that

Stevie Dawn Carter:

is weekly inspiration, motivation, tips, tricks, all the things.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

And they also are gonna find out about the webinars.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

And they're also going to find out about the events, right?

Stevie Dawn Carter:

And so I use speaking as a way to get people into the funnel.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

And then through that funnel, they're offered events or another

Stevie Dawn Carter:

large part of my business.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

So we do a lot of live events or webinars or the coaching programs that I offer.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

So I really look at it as, you know, it's a speaking business.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

And then I actually say my side hustle is my coaching, right?

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Because speaking is where I make the majority of my income and impact.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

And then coaching is something that I have as an offer for

Stevie Dawn Carter:

those who choose to go that.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

And I always put more focus on the speaking and the event

Stevie Dawn Carter:

side than I do on the coaching.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

That's just me.

Johnny:

No, that's great.

Johnny:

And I appreciate you sharing that with us as well.

Johnny:

And I know it's wonderful for people who may be.

Johnny:

Starting out with this or, or in a position where they're thinking.

Johnny:

I know you've mentioned that you had a big life pivot.

Johnny:

I had to change this.

Johnny:

A lot of people have been experiencing that over the last few years.

Johnny:

And some people may be looking to move into this kind of direction.

Johnny:

What's the most important thing you would say for people to be

Johnny:

focusing on, to get started?

Johnny:

And how long for you did it take to start seeing that you were building some

Johnny:

buildings, some influence and authority with what you were doing and starting

Johnny:

to really make it a viable business?

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Yeah.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

absolutely.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Well, I think.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

The most important thing you can do if you want to be a speaker

Stevie Dawn Carter:

is find opportunities to speak.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

It sounds silly, but that is the first step.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

And that is what I did.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

When I first started my business eight years ago, within the first

Stevie Dawn Carter:

year, year and a half, I had done 158 speaking engagements.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

None of those were paid.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Those were free things, podcasts, interviews, TV spot, anything

Stevie Dawn Carter:

where somebody would give me an opportunity to speak about my business.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

If there were five minutes, if it were 20 minutes, it didn't matter.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

I knew I just needed to be speaking.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

And so that's how I built my business.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Year two, year three, those all started to be paid.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Anything.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

And so for me and what I tell all of my clients who are wanting to enter

Stevie Dawn Carter:

the speaking realm, you have to just put yourself out there as a speaker

Stevie Dawn Carter:

for everything, put yourself out there for conferences, submit every

Stevie Dawn Carter:

to every conference in your area.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Proposals for breakout sessions, get on every podcast.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

You can do TV interviews, Facebook live interviews, whatever you

Stevie Dawn Carter:

can because the number one thing you have to be as a speaker.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

You have to be good and you only become good through practice.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

You don't become good by sitting at your home practicing.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

You got to get out in front of audiences, you got to feel the energy.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

You got to learn how to tailor your message.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

And that's what I did that first year I made $0.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Right.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

But I tailored my message and I became known because I did

Stevie Dawn Carter:

it so often people started to recognize my name and recognize me.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

So then that second year as I started turning some of that into paid, right.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

People would say, oh, we need somebody to speak on emotional intelligence.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Oh, well, Stevie Dawn does that because they had seen me 5,000 times by then.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Right.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

So they were like, and that is how I generated the buzz.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

So I think my biggest advice to anybody.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Start putting yourself out there for every speaking opportunity you can and

Stevie Dawn Carter:

be okay if it doesn't make you money in the beginning, because you're one

Stevie Dawn Carter:

honing your skills and two, you're getting your name out there and that's

Stevie Dawn Carter:

actually more critical for speakers than it is for some other businesses.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Because most of my speaking engagements now are totally because they've heard my.

Johnny:

Yeah.

Johnny:

And that makes it makes total sense to me and people who are on that kind of track.

Johnny:

If you haven't already checked out the recent episode with Grant Baldwin from

Johnny:

speaker up, you should definitely go and listen, definitely go and listen to that.

Johnny:

But but yeah, I think it's really smart.

Johnny:

And you said you became known.

Johnny:

For your emotional intelligence stuff that you're talking about.

Johnny:

And I know that it's not, maybe not, everyone's talking about that, but enough

Johnny:

people are talking about this, but it's in something that people may have heard

Johnny:

or even if they don't fully know what it is, but it is important to have that

Johnny:

thing that you're going to talk about.

Johnny:

It is important to have your topic, your area.

Johnny:

And I see as a podcast host, a lot of people who want to be on podcasts and then

Johnny:

they'll give me a list of Maybe 20 or so things that they can come and talk about.

Johnny:

That's great, but I don't want that.

Johnny:

I want people who have an area of expertise and I've actually

Johnny:

become known as an expert for that.

Johnny:

No, No, but if I just having more of a conversational, non purposeful

Johnny:

chat with people, it wouldn't matter.

Johnny:

But because this is like a business kind of talk or professional based podcast

Johnny:

for people who are looking for that kind of professional development and

Johnny:

leadership development and communication skills that is essential to be

Johnny:

able to deliver something specific.

Johnny:

But it doesn't mean that that's all you are right.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

No.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

I always tell, and my clients struggle with the same thing.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Right.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

They're like, but I could talk about this and I could talk about

Stevie Dawn Carter:

this and I could talk about this.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

And I'm like, yes, you can, you can.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

But what do you want to be known for?

Stevie Dawn Carter:

I may be known for emotional intelligence, but that's not everything I speak.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

I mean yesterday, we did a whole event on success.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

My coaching programs are all around success and mindset and confidence.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Right.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

I also have programs around prospecting and marketing for entrepreneurs.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Right.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

I have all these topics, leadership, communication, productivity.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

I mean, next week, I'm doing a thing about how to use LinkedIn.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Okay.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

I can talk about a wide range of things.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

But I'm really known for one thing.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

And I think to your point, that that's important in the

Stevie Dawn Carter:

beginning, get known for one thing.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Cause what I have happened, and this is something I asked my speakers to track.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

So any of you who are listening, track your rebooking.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

I think it's something we don't talk about a lot, but it's one thing to be booked.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

It's another thing to get that booking and then get rebooked for that same

Stevie Dawn Carter:

event or with that same company.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Right.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

I have a 75% rebooking rate.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

One of the reasons my rate is so high is because they go, okay, well, you

Stevie Dawn Carter:

came in and did emotional intelligence.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

What else can you do?

Stevie Dawn Carter:

And I have a list.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

I have a list of 18 topics that I consider my core topics that

Stevie Dawn Carter:

I can talk on any given moment.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

So I can keep getting rebooked for conferences over and over and over again.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

They just book me for different topics, but I got known for that one topic.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

So I think it is really important to choose your area and be an expert in

Stevie Dawn Carter:

that area, position yourself that way.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Then you can always, when you're fabulous, they'll say, well, what else could you do?

Stevie Dawn Carter:

And then you can give them the list, Right.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

And show them all the things That you can do.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

And you can continue to get rebooked, but you gotta be

Stevie Dawn Carter:

great at that one thing first.

Johnny:

Right.

Johnny:

That makes a lot of sense.

Johnny:

You have to be an, your name needs to be a known quantity, a recognizable name,

Johnny:

at least in your industry so that people can trust that you can deliver on stuff.

Johnny:

Even if it's not the topic that you're originally well-known for, but when you're

Johnny:

looking to become known, it just makes absolute sense to become known for one

Johnny:

thing, to specialize in that and get on as many shows that are relevant to that.

Johnny:

A course or a program that's relevant to that have a book that is relevant to

Johnny:

a podcast and all of those things that it's like, what become known for that.

Johnny:

But then when your name is known, it won't matter so much.

Johnny:

Yeah.

Johnny:

You'll still, people will still want you for that, but they will also want that.

Johnny:

They'll be happy to hear, talk about other things.

Johnny:

And I think someone like you know, Pat Flynn is maybe a good example.

Johnny:

Initially.

Johnny:

Maybe people wanted him to talk about podcasts, but now you can listen to

Johnny:

Pat Flynn, talk about passive income to talk about success in other areas,

Johnny:

maybe even public speaking leadership, you know, that all sorts of things that

Johnny:

he would now probably talk about that he always could have, but he initially

Johnny:

became known for that one thing of I think initially he more became known for

Johnny:

having that podcast around passive income.

Johnny:

But it is essential to have that and, and to understand that

Johnny:

that's how people's minds work.

Johnny:

We we'd like to be able to box people pretty neatly into one thing.

Johnny:

We don't like.

Johnny:

Work too hard in our thinking is that, yes, we're all more than just one thing.

Johnny:

But when you think about one person, if you got, oh yeah, Stevie, she talks

Johnny:

about emotional intelligence, Johnny.

Johnny:

He talks about influence and persuasion.

Johnny:

Great.

Johnny:

So it's a great association to have, and then at some point

Johnny:

it doesn't become so important.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

absolutely.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

you know, to your point, and this was never more obvious to me than.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Three years into my business.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

When I realized some of my best friends like that, I consider real friends

Stevie Dawn Carter:

were like, so what do you do again?

Stevie Dawn Carter:

And I was like, if they don't know what I do.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

What makes me think anybody else in the world knows what I do.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

These are supposed to be my friends who pay attention.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Right.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

And it was such a realization to me that we can be putting too many different

Stevie Dawn Carter:

messages out into the world because it was like, okay, if they don't know.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Then, you know, what does that say?

Stevie Dawn Carter:

And so I think to your point of just, just tailor and focus that message in the

Stevie Dawn Carter:

beginning, none of us really fit that.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

neatly in a box, but when we're first putting our name out

Stevie Dawn Carter:

there, we need something easily

Stevie Dawn Carter:

remembered by the people around us.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

And if you know that you're a speaker on influence and persuasion, boom, that's it.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

And if that's your message, people will always think of you in those spaces.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

And that really does help you gain business.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

I think it's such an important.

Johnny:

It is.

Johnny:

And it's much easier for you as an individual to be more confident about one

Johnny:

thing then perhaps anything else as well.

Johnny:

And to make that your, your go to that, you, the thing you could always

Johnny:

easily talk about at length and are ready to go, when you ready to answer

Johnny:

just about anything about that.

Johnny:

I wonder for you.

Johnny:

We talked a while back and it is quite a while back now, but we talked about brand

Johnny:

awareness and being aware of your brand.

Johnny:

How would you define your own brand and why is it important

Johnny:

for people to be able to do that?

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Yeah.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Um, you know, I think for me, I, I try and I guess I hope, right.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

I always think branding is what other people think of you.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

It's never what you think of you.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

So, I hope and believe that people think about me as

Stevie Dawn Carter:

somebody with a lot of empathy.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

So a lot of care, a lot of compassion something that is about energy and.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

I try and be as lively and upbeat and positive and energetic as I can.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

I think people need that in their lives.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

And then really my, my main message over these last several years has

Stevie Dawn Carter:

been around unstoppable success.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Right?

Stevie Dawn Carter:

So how do we get success in our life?

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Whether that be emotional intelligence and communication, because that

Stevie Dawn Carter:

leads to success, whether that be.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Skills that leads to success.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Right?

Stevie Dawn Carter:

All these different things can lead there, but that's really become my main message.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

So I would hope my, my brand out there would feel unstoppable

Stevie Dawn Carter:

success with energy and empathy.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

I think those would be my keywords.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

And I think that brand awareness really is making sure that you put that same

Stevie Dawn Carter:

message consistently out into the world.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

But it's also about, are you getting that feedback right from others to know

Stevie Dawn Carter:

that your brand awareness is working?

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Because I think sometimes we can put messages out, but if they don't

Stevie Dawn Carter:

connect to the audience, they're not really getting what we mean.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

And I do believe that

Stevie Dawn Carter:

branding is not how you feel about you,

Stevie Dawn Carter:

it's how others feel about you.

Johnny:

Yeah, absolutely.

Johnny:

So it's absolutely essential to have that focus on it, but it's maybe a

Johnny:

bit more complicated when it comes to having control over that you going

Johnny:

to have to correct course, correct.

Johnny:

A lot along the path, along the path to achieving it and

Johnny:

make sure you get the feedback.

Johnny:

And I think maybe that is one of the places where some people

Johnny:

do go a bit wrong with this.

Johnny:

are actually not getting the feedback and just trusting in that what they think

Johnny:

they're putting out into the world is, is how they're being seen so I'd say

Johnny:

it's an interesting way to look at it?

Johnny:

I seem to remember you mentioning that you had been working on a book.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

I did.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Yes.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

I'm like, oh my gosh, do I even have it?

Stevie Dawn Carter:

That's terrible.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

But after the event yesterday, things are a little things are

Stevie Dawn Carter:

a little chaos in the house.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

I did, it came out February.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Always be the shark.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

And it's all about that concept of unstoppable success.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

And how do you become a Shark in your life?

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Not in an aggressive way, but in a powerful way.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

'cause I think a lot of times we spend our lives be a minnows and goldfish and that

Stevie Dawn Carter:

really isn't going to get us anywhere.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

So yeah.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Came out February 8th and super excited for it.

Johnny:

Fantastic.

Johnny:

So what is a shark thing?

Johnny:

It's not, it's not aggressive, but what makes them, what makes

Johnny:

us a shark in our own lives?

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Yeah.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

So I think for me, it's about owning your ocean.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

I, I love sharks.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

I have tons of shark stories.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

But one of the things that I've, that really impacted me as I went cage diving

Stevie Dawn Carter:

with great white sharks several years ago.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

And.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Just this idea of they weren't bothered by anything, right?

Stevie Dawn Carter:

They paid no attention to the humans in the cage.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

They spent no time on the tuna that was swimming around them.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Like they are living their lives with no care or concern for other people.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Right?

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Like they're doing their thing.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

And I think in life, especially as adults, we get stuck in doing what society.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Right.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Society gives you this checklist that says, if you want to be happy

Stevie Dawn Carter:

and successful, you need a good job that has to have health insurance.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

You need, right.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

A good house.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

You have to have a nice car.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

You know, you should be married to the right kind of person.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

You definitely are a family person, like all of these things.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Right.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

And I just realized in my life that I checked all the boxes of

Stevie Dawn Carter:

things that society tells me should make me happy and successful.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

And I was not happy and successful.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

I was miserable.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

And lonely.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Right?

Stevie Dawn Carter:

So I needed something else in my life.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

And so it was through this idea of kind of sharks becoming a mantra for me and a,

Stevie Dawn Carter:

and a guide for me and saying to myself, I can own my ocean, whether my ocean is

Stevie Dawn Carter:

my little office or whether my ocean is the world, I deserve to just swim in.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

And be 100% okay.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Being who I am for that.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

And, and I really think other people need to buy into that message because

Stevie Dawn Carter:

I see so many people not going after their dreams, not going after

Stevie Dawn Carter:

what they want in life, because they're worried about other people.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

And there's an element of being the shark means saying, I own my

Stevie Dawn Carter:

ocean you are welcome to join me on the journey, but I'm swimming.

Johnny:

Yeah.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

you know what, whatever that looks like for you.

Johnny:

Yeah.

Johnny:

Do you, do you feel now that you're a published author, do you, do you

Johnny:

feel that having that book gives you an increased level of authority and

Johnny:

influence in your, in your sector?

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Yeah, I definitely do.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

I think so I've published before.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

This is actually my third book, but I would say that the first two

Stevie Dawn Carter:

were more for marketing, right.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

I wrote a book specifically to try and market myself, if that makes sense.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

And it never worked.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

And I think to the point that it never worked is exactly what you and I were

Stevie Dawn Carter:

talking about just five minutes ago, which is I wasn't tailoring my message.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

My books were kind of all over the map.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

So they didn't really go along with my speeches.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

They didn't really go along with what I was saying to the world.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

They were just, Ooh, but I want to show you I know stuff.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Right.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

so this book being absolutely aligned with my keynote that I do.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Right.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

And I think every, every presenter, every speaker needs,

Stevie Dawn Carter:

what I call it, killer keynote.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Cause you know, sharks.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

killer keynote always be the shark, the book.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Came out of a killer keynote that I have done for a while, which

Stevie Dawn Carter:

is called unstoppable success.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

And so for me, I think now having the book.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

I've already had several clients say, oh, well, when you come to do that

Stevie Dawn Carter:

presentation, please bring books.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Let's have you sell books.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Hey, let's put books in everybody's swag bag.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

So it has given me a new level of authority and power, but

Stevie Dawn Carter:

I think what's important.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

There is because it's connected.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

To what I've put myself out as an expert for, to our point from earlier.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

So I, I think books can help, but I think they need to be tied in to what you want

Stevie Dawn Carter:

to be known for and what your message is.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

And this is the first of my books that I truly feel is tied to what I'm doing.

Johnny:

Fantastic.

Johnny:

Yeah.

Johnny:

And that really ties in as well to what we were saying earlier about that,

Johnny:

knowing yourself and having that thing that you're thing that you're known for.

Johnny:

And Having your content, whatever you're doing, whether it's speaking videos or

Johnny:

books, connecting with your audience.

Johnny:

that I see a lot of people going so wrong with it because, because they are

Johnny:

all over the place, they're trying too many things they're doing the spaghetti

Johnny:

against the wall strategy and hoping that something sticks or people will like

Johnny:

some things like that, that may be the case, but far better to pick your thing.

Johnny:

But I I'd say in addition to that, you know, one of the things I learned, and

Johnny:

I don't know if you had any sort of similar experiences, but I also learned.

Johnny:

I had to get over one, trying to give people what I wanted to give them.

Johnny:

And rather serving them with what they needed or what they were looking for.

Johnny:

And that was it.

Johnny:

That doesn't sound like much of a difference, but it is it's.

Johnny:

Yeah, it was like finally finding where people were already, already

Johnny:

thirsty, already looking to drink from the well and, and serving the needs

Johnny:

that were there rather than Hey, well, forget the, well, I want to give you

Johnny:

some Coca-Cola, you know, is that

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Nobody's right.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

You can lead a horse to water, but you cannot force them to drink.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Right.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

There, there is an element I think, in business where you have to know.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

What's going on in the world around you, what are they looking for?

Stevie Dawn Carter:

What are they needing help with?

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Yes, you can help them with 50 things you may know that well, I know you say

Stevie Dawn Carter:

you're struggling with marketing, but what you really need is mindset help.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

I mean, you may know that and that's great, but they're

Stevie Dawn Carter:

not looking for mindset help.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

They're looking for marketing help.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

So if you can help them with marketing and you do that through helping their

Stevie Dawn Carter:

mindset great, but focus on what they are looking for and needing.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Otherwise, it's always going to be an uphill battle.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Because before you can sell them, you have to convince them they need it.

Johnny:

Yeah.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

and that's never an easy strategy.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

So Yeah.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

I totally agree with you.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

I think you can have all the things in the world you want to talk about, but

Stevie Dawn Carter:

that doesn't mean people will pay you.

Johnny:

Exactly.

Johnny:

So some people who are tuning in maybeare thinking it would be pretty good to find

Johnny:

out more about your unstoppable success.

Johnny:

And certainly there'll be a link in the show notes for people to go and

Johnny:

find a copy of your book as well.

Johnny:

But what would be the best way for people to come and find

Johnny:

out more information about you?

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Yeah.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

you?

Stevie Dawn Carter:

know, I hate to sound like I'm such a trend follower, but I would tell you, I

Stevie Dawn Carter:

spend a lot of my time on social media.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

So you can connect with me on Instagram or Facebook or LinkedIn, the easiest

Stevie Dawn Carter:

way for us to start a conversation.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

You can always go to my website as Well, but I feel like the most relevant

Stevie Dawn Carter:

up-to-date information and connection is through those social media channels.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

And you can find me everywhere as Dr.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Stevie Dawn

Johnny:

well, there you go.

Johnny:

That's a good way to do it.

Johnny:

So we learned a little bit about your book.

Johnny:

I wonder if there are maybe one or two.

Johnny:

That you often recommend to people may be related to things

Johnny:

we've been talking about today.

Johnny:

Perhaps emotional intelligence or speaking through that, what, what kind

Johnny:

of books have made an impact on you that you would always happily recommend?

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Yeah, absolutely.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

So my emotional intelligence kind of go to for people if you want a quick,

Stevie Dawn Carter:

easy read on emotional intelligence is by Travis Bradberry and it's Emotional

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Intelligence, 2.0, it's a little older.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Now it was new at a time when I started this, which is kind of crazy to

Johnny:

Yeah.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

I've been talking about this now,

Stevie Dawn Carter:

but it's it's an easy read.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

It gives you kind of the basics of emotional intelligence and helps you

Stevie Dawn Carter:

with the self-awareness piece, which is always the first step of emotional

Stevie Dawn Carter:

intelligence is self-awareness.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

So I think it's a great book, something I recommend, on the business side.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

There are really two books that I ask all my clients to, to lean into.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

that is Atomic Habits by James clear, I love Atomic Habits.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

I, it really changed my life and how I got stuff done and

Stevie Dawn Carter:

how I became more productive.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

So I always recommend that to clients.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

and then Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert, all about creativity to bring

Stevie Dawn Carter:

more creativity into your life as an adult and what creativity looks like.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

And I think as entrepreneurs, especially, we need to lean into that

Stevie Dawn Carter:

creative, but we need to understand how to lean into that creative and

Stevie Dawn Carter:

big magic is a great book for that.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

So those are two that I ask all my clients.

Johnny:

Yeah, perfect.

Johnny:

I I've certainly read the first two and I think I think emotional

Johnny:

intelligence, 2.0 was quite new when I first read it as well.

Johnny:

So it's been around awhile, but

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Yeah.

Johnny:

but big, big magic is one that I haven't come across and I'll

Johnny:

look forward to checking that out and again, I'll put links to all of

Johnny:

those in the show notes for anyone who wants to go and check them out.

Johnny:

I do like to find out from, from all of my guests.

Johnny:

What your greatest strength your superpower is when it comes

Johnny:

to influence and persuasion?

Stevie Dawn Carter:

That's a hard one.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

You know, I think for me, I would say my super power is really seeing people's

Stevie Dawn Carter:

greatness, even when they don't.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

I think that is my super power.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

And I think the reason that is applicable to influence and persuasion.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Taking that, being able to see that in somebody and then being

Stevie Dawn Carter:

able to verbalize it back to them.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

in a way that influences them to believe it.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

And I think that's really the key.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

So I spend a lot of my day looking at people and going, you

Stevie Dawn Carter:

do not know great you truly are.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

me tell you.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Right.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

And

Johnny:

Yeah.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

think if we use our influence and persuasion to

Stevie Dawn Carter:

get people to take action towards their best lives, then I feel like

Stevie Dawn Carter:

we're really doing the good work.

Johnny:

Yeah.

Johnny:

I mean that, that's like one of the, I think one of the key principles and how

Johnny:

to win friends and influence people is to give people this grethis great this

Johnny:

great nam e up to this great reputation to live up to as I think they phrase it

Johnny:

in sort of oldy timey language in the book a bit, but it is that thing of, like

Johnny:

you say, seeing the best potential in people and then feeding that back to them.

Johnny:

Give them something to move towards that they can see in

Johnny:

themselves and, and live up to you.

Johnny:

That's fantastic.

Johnny:

If there was just one amongst the many that people would take

Johnny:

away from this episode, if they only remembered one thing, what

Johnny:

do you hope that that would be.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

I think at the end of the day, I hope that they would remember

Stevie Dawn Carter:

that are all an expert in something.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

No matter where you are in your life, no matter how many years,

Stevie Dawn Carter:

no matter what industry we are, all an expert in something.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

And if you position yourself as an expert and you do it with

Stevie Dawn Carter:

your, with your marketing and advertising, but you also just do it

Stevie Dawn Carter:

with your heart and your emotions.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

And you say, this is what I want to be an expert in.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

This is what I want to share with the world.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

You truly will make an impact if you focus on that one.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

So I think of everything we talked about today, that would be

Stevie Dawn Carter:

the one thing I would want people to take away and remember is you're an

Stevie Dawn Carter:

expert at something, position yourself as an expert and really lean into it.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

And you'll see the success on the other side.

Johnny:

Fantastic.

Johnny:

I know for our listeners, this isn't quite the end yet because there's a little

Johnny:

gift that you have for our listeners as well, which is going to be a checklist.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Yeah, so I thought.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

For kind of the speaker side and for the emotional intelligence side, I

Stevie Dawn Carter:

put together a checklist that just has things to think about emotionally

Stevie Dawn Carter:

before you get onstage to think about emotionally as you're onstage and also

Stevie Dawn Carter:

just the checklist for speakers, right?

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Yeah.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

What are the things you need to remember, right.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

As you go into a speaking engagement, as you get these opportunities,

Stevie Dawn Carter:

because I found myself I needed a checklist to get through it.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

So I kind of combine those two checklists into one since we were

Stevie Dawn Carter:

kind of combining both topics today.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

So I hope people enjoy it.

Johnny:

I do too.

Johnny:

And certainly I'll be downloading my copy.

Johnny:

And for those of you who want to download yours, that's

Johnny:

going to be in the show notes.

Johnny:

So another good reason to go and check those out.

Johnny:

Steve Dawn Carter,

Johnny:

thank you so much for coming and being my guest on Speaking Influence today.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

Well, Thank you.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

so much for having me.

Stevie Dawn Carter:

It's been a pleasure.

Johnny:

Thanks for tuning in.

Johnny:

I hope you've enjoyed the show.

Johnny:

And if you did make sure you are subscribed for future episodes, and

Johnny:

if you did get some useful takeaways from that, well, feel free to share

Johnny:

them with us on social media, but most importantly, perhaps the people,

Johnny:

you know, would get some great takeaways from this episode as well.

Johnny:

So please share the episode out with your friends or network that has the best

Johnny:

way you can say thank you for the show and consider it at that price of entry,

Johnny:

especially if your plan to come back or check out some more of our episodes.

Johnny:

Is there any really a month left now, before speaking influence starts to

Johnny:

change its name and branding and a whole host of other things, but we're still

Johnny:

going to be bringing you lots of great information and some amazing guests.

Johnny:

In fact, some of the guests I've already recorded with, and some of the

Johnny:

guests I have lined up just soup pub.

Johnny:

And I know you're going to love for me, especially if you are at all

Johnny:

interested in building influence and persuasion through podcasting as a

Johnny:

guest, as a host or other ways of using podcasting to grow and scale up business.

Johnny:

I'm not gonna say too much about that just yet, but we are going

Johnny:

to have a bit of a buildup to the rebranding and renaming of the show.

Johnny:

If you'd like to connect with me, one of the best ways to do that is to come and

Johnny:

join the Podfluencers Facebook group and come and connect with other people who

Johnny:

are looking to build up their influence and inspiration through podcasting.

Johnny:

And if you'd like to download my free ebook or take the quiz about how

Johnny:

podcasting can help your business, then visit my website, present influence.com.

Johnny:

You'll be able to do all those things for free.

Johnny:

And I look forward to connecting with you on another show very soon.

Johnny:

But for now, wherever you're going, whatever you're doing,

Johnny:

have an amazing rest of your day.

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