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29: Befriending Your Anxiety With Betsy Grimm
Episode 2912th July 2023 • Mystical Sisterhood • Maureen Spielman
00:00:00 00:48:13

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Betsy Grimm joins us today for a fascinating and informative conversation around anxiety, our thinking mind, and how to calm yourself. Betsy brings a wide breadth of training in the healing arts and provides practical takeaways for dealing with anxiety - both the tools that she has learned through her professional training and applied to her own life. Breathing practices, mudras, and other ways of connecting to yourself are offered in today’s podcast!

EPISODE TAKEAWAYS (what you’ll learn):

  • Anxiety as biological and our nervous systems aren’t set up to deal with modern life
  • How yoga helps us transcend the limitations of the mind
  • How to intervene early in an anxious state
  • How to find a practice tailored to your needs
  • Mantras that help with anxiety and fear
  • A ‘worry’ practice and positive thinking

About The Guest:

Betsy Grimm is a somatic based practitioner trained in Hakomi Mindful Somatic Psychotherapy. She is a Yoga 500hr YT and has trained in Radiant Body Yoga, Kundalini and Yoga for Mood Management. She teaches yoga and meditation and loves sharing transformational tools that have been lifelines on her path. Her own anxiety, depression, ptsd, and blatant desperation led her to out-of-the-way healing places her former self would’ve rolled her eyes at! Her spiritual wanderings include exploring yoga’s rich breathwork, mantra, meditative and bhakti practices as well as Continuum Movement, ecstatic dance, bodywork, sweatlodges, ritual, guided work with sacred medicines, prayer and deepening connections with nature.

Find Betsy here:

https://www.betsygrimm.com/

Betsy’s Yoga Tools on Youtube:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCpOLHBWgAcYdz3BfzfB6RYw

Worry practice www.youtube.com/watch?v=cprrUm8iJzE&t=4s

How to find a Hakomi practitioner:

https://hakomiinstitute.com/directory/directory-intro

References within Podcast:

https://www.kiamiller.com/

https://thework.com/

About the Host:

Maureen Spielman is the Founder of Mystical Sisterhood, a podcast dedicated to bringing more joy, healing and expansion to the world. She is a seasoned life coach who supports individuals through one-on-one coaching, groups and workshops.

Connect with Maureen:

● Check out her Instagram: @maureeenspielman

● Learn more about her work at www.maureenspielman.com

● Want to join our Mystical Sisterhood Membership community? Find out more here: https://www.maureenspielman.com/mysticalsisterhood

● Email Maureen at hello@maureenspielman.com to inquire about coaching, podcasting & speaking engagements

● Want to view Mystical Sisterhood episodes? Visit the Mystical Sisterhood YouTube Channel here: Magical Sisterhood Youtube

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Transcripts

Unknown:

Hello and welcome back to mystical sisterhood. This is

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your host, Maureen Spielman. And today I sit down for a

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conversation on yoga, PTSD, and anxiety amongst many other

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things with Betsy Grimm. Betsy is in my neighborhood and I was

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so thrilled to meet her acquaintance, because she has a

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lot to say and share about ways that you can intervene with

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yourself when you're in an anxious state. A lot about how

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our anxious mind can get in the way of our true self. The

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importance of daily practice in coming to ourselves, and we've

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got a guided practice with within and mantras that help

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with anxiety and fear. So I am excited for you to listen in and

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learn alongside me. I'll see you in the episode. Thank you for

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being here.

Unknown:

Hey there, welcome to mystical sisterhood. This is your host,

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Maureen Spielman. I started the show to highlight the intuitives

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healers and other courageous women that I've met along my

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journey and continue to meet. Through amazing interviews, I

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seek to ask insightful questions to uncover ways in which you the

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listener can apply the wisdom and knowledge to your own life.

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I believe that we're all in this together. So sharing healing and

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joy, and bringing community together is both my passion and

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purpose. If you'd like to learn more about the mystical

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sisterhood community I'm building please visit www

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mystical sisterhood.com See you in the episode.

Unknown:

Welcome back to mystical sisterhood. This is your host,

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Maureen Spielman. And today I am sitting down with Betsy Grimm.

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And I like to do a shout out if someone introduced me to my

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guest. And today, that would be Libby Paul. So I'm super excited

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that she introduced the two of us. I am going to just read a

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little bit of your bio, because I like the way it's written. And

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I think it's gonna give the listener today an overview of

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who you are, that where you've studied what you've done before,

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we kind of, I think funnel that down a little bit into a few

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topics. So Betsy Grimm is a somatic based practitioner

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trained in hakomi, mindful somatic psychotherapy. She is a

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yoga Instructure instructor

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with Kundalini and yoga for mood management, and she teaches

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meditation.

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I love that you said Betsy. Her own anxiety, depression, PTSD

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and blatant desperation, led her to two out of the way healing

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places her former self would have rolled her eyes at That's

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so great.

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And then maybe Lastly, her spiritual wanderings include

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yogas, rich breathwork, Montra, meditative and bhakti practices,

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as well as continual movement, ecstatic dance, bodywork, sweat

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lodges, ritual, guided work with sacred medicines, prayer, and

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deepening connections with nature. So you are well studied,

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and more than you have so much to share today. Welcome, Betsy.

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Thank you for being here with me. Oh, my gosh, I'm worried.

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I'm really excited to be here with you. And especially because

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I'm meeting a new neighbor, a new sister, that makes me so

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happy. So yeah, I think we're probably just a couple miles

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apart. And yes, yeah, I love that too connected. I think

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that's a just a great place to start that there are more of us

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out there who are interested in having these conversations. And

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sometimes, I mean, we may have worked in neighboring

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communities, we may have passed each other in the grocery store

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on, you know, the main street in town, right, you know, through

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the years and not even know and that's I think that's the

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importance of connections to when we can connect each other

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in this sisterhood, hey, I think you should meet or it's really

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valuable to our growth as individuals and these

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communities. I totally agree that connection piece is so

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important. And I really love what you're creating here is

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this community because yeah, that's been a big important

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driver for me is really finding places where we can join

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together and where we can share our wisdom and also share our

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desperation and share all the questions that we have to and

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yeah, such a good point with the wisdom and the desperation

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because that's like I never want to be bypassing the realness of

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life and

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And, and there's so many great things about manifestation and

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abundance and all, you know, this body of work, and we all

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come to the table with our life experiences, which are filled

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with joy, and hurt our wounded places, our traumas. So,

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you know, that might be a good place to start, because before

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we got on, you know, there's a lot of topics that we want to

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kind of weave our way through today. But I know anxiety and,

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and just this, this discussion around anxiety is maybe a great

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starting point. And because I don't know your story, or why

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you care so deeply about this, would that be a comfortable

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place to start for you? Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. So my story

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is, is I'm a Midwest girl grew up pretty conventionally, and

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just kind of following the mold that culture laid out and

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actually looked pretty good from the outside.

Betsy Grimm:

And then at age 40, my sister unexpectedly died. And

Betsy Grimm:

it was just a complete unraveling. For me. Part of it

Betsy Grimm:

was the the suddenness of it had an impact. And part of it was

Betsy Grimm:

she was my everything. She was two years older, and my only

Betsy Grimm:

sibling. And I did later find out I that it was PTSD that I

Betsy Grimm:

was dealing with, but it was pretty extreme anxiety. And I

Betsy Grimm:

did kind of jump into action, I was trying to care for her kids

Betsy Grimm:

and for my parents and for my own kids as well. And trying to

Betsy Grimm:

anyway, and

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yeah, I started to figure out like, I need help

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here. And SSRIs would be helpful for a certain period, but they

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really, they just didn't, that didn't sustain for me. And it

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was the beginning of my starting into cognitive behavioral work

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in sort of digging underneath things. And that was really

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powerful to sort of open up these areas that were just blind

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to me before, and really started my journey. But before her

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death, I had already had some experience with yoga. And I just

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kind of knew that this would be a place where I could find some

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relief. And so it was, it was sort of it became my lifeline.

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And I really appreciated these yogic communities that could

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support me and could offer other healing modalities, too.

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But I can remember very specifically, I was in an Amy

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weintrob workshop, and she works with yoga for mood management.

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And it was the first time where in all of my kind of

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overwhelm,

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that I actually found my way to, like some openness and found my

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way to myself. And it was the first time where I felt like,

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oh, here I am. And it was amazing. It was so striking the

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difference. And later, I Well, I knew like I had to become a yoga

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instructor and that I would need to follow her work. And so that

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started to really help me understand some really basic,

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practical ways to work with my anxiety. Oh, wow. Yeah, thank

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you so much for that backstory, and just your life, your life

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story, and what you went through, and the PTSD and the

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trauma of it all.

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And that, and just like, it feels like a gentle coming back

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to yourself, but those moments, the that revelation that you had

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on that day, and that time, I want you if you can, because I

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feel like yoga is one of these things that sometimes and I'll

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speak from my own experience, it always felt like that thing that

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I should be doing that it was gonna be.

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I feel like sometimes like the way

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people can approach yoga is like very dualistic, like you're

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either doing it or you're not doing it, if that makes sense.

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And so

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I think it's a really good conversation to even say like,

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wow, what are the benefits of a yoga practice? And that seems

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like such a basic question. Yeah. But when you describe your

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own experience of like, even during those times, that were so

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just probably dense and challenging to get through. What

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were some qualities that occurred in you or what like

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when you

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Got to your mat. What did that provide for you? Hmm? Yeah, it's

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it's such a good question. And it makes me think, well, first

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of all, that not everyone loves yoga. And I'm always surprised

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at how many yoga teachers when they talk about their first

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experience with yoga, they actually hated it.

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And, you know, part of it is, is that work, we can, you know,

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bring everything make everything quiet, and we have to be with

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ourselves. And that means being with our thoughts. And so, yeah,

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I would love to talk about particular types of yoga, that

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that can meet more of the the anxious mind. Because, yeah, not

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all yoga. In fact, if you went into yin yoga class, it might

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actually have you feel really stressed out and,

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and in your head, because there is so much spacious that Miss

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there.

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But, you know, yoga, how it works, I remember we were asked

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this in my first yoga training, and it was like, Well, why does

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it work? And we all knew we'd have these experiences like,

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well, I don't know, I just feel so much better. And what is

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that? And,

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and it's funny, because I still now I marvel at the people that

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come out of the yoga class before me, and they're just

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completely changed. And I always think it'd be really interesting

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to take pictures of people before they go into class. And

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after they go, they come out of class.

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But

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sorry, I'm losing my train of thought back to off, there's so

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much here, marine.

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So how Yoga works is really, it is a practice that helps us to

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transcend the limitations of the mind. And that's a big concept,

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right? And, you know, we're used to the asana practice, which is

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so much about body and movement, but there's a whole lifestyle

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and philosophy piece to yoga, that's Brett's pretty vast and

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deep.

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But that really at its base is what we're doing is we're

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learning how to work with our mind. And so

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yeah, yoga can be

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this place where we learn to step away from our thoughts and

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learn to become the witness to our thoughts, right. And that's

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a huge concept. That's a big thing. And that's part of you

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know, why meditation is so important is to learn, oh, gosh,

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I'm not that and these thoughts just are right up on us, it's so

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hard to have that separation. But man, that is just such a

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skill to develop is learning how to witness and, you know, on the

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laboratory of our mats, we can really practice that awareness.

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And you kind of have to, especially when you're starting

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Yoga, you really have to pay attention, where are my feet?

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Where are my arms, there's all these ways you have to pay

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attention, or you're gonna fall over. Right? And so, but it's a

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great way to practice that and just watch your mind and be

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like, Oh, look where my mind went. Oh, isn't that

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interesting? Right? Yeah.

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I think too, as I've

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been adopting a practice recently, I, for me, it's been,

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it's almost like allowance allowing, allowing

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the taking of an hour, I remember when I used to try it

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more in my 20s. All the classes seem to be an hour and 15 to an

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hour and a half. And I what I find now is, there's more in

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that hour range that for me, is more more accessible, but it's,

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it's an allowance, and that almost like,

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it's almost like one of those things that if it doesn't catch

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for you the first time maybe try different instructors to because

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I think you were gonna say to the the types of yoga casts

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depending on which avenue you go down, and we've kind of talked

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about that Kundalini. And I recently heard about Kundalini.

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And I was super excited. And I logged on to a site and kind of

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got on, they had a whole bunch of teachings in a couple of

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weeks free and it was so overwhelming. So to your point

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about how it can be and then you had said like, oh, maybe you

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want to go this direction, Maureen, if you want to know

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more about that, but yeah, yeah, well, you know, I'm glad you're

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bringing that up. And and yoga, like, even the timing of it. The

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important and those hour and a half practices aren't as

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accessible for a lot of us. And the truth is, is that even three

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minutes these three minute practices can really be worthy

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and really be held

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helpful. And so yeah, we can kind of be creative at how we

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work with these different practices. And there are very

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different types of yoga and different ways to work with it.

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And yeah, I can talk more about some of the ways that are really

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helpful to work with anxiety, that more anxious mind, because

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it's actually quite different than how you've worked with a

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slower, more in the realm of tomasik, or the depressed state.

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There's different ways of working with it, and different

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modalities, meet them in different ways. Yeah, I love

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that. And And so speaking to that, because when anxiety is

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with us, it's in our mind, but does it also settle into our

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nervous system and become kind of like a loop for us where we

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have that, like, I, before we met today,

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I don't carry a lot of anxiety I think I did when I was younger.

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And I remember even the first time I had a ramp up towards

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like, I don't know, if it was a panic attack. I don't think it

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was ever. But I would just remember when, and like you're

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saying, you know, things can come up later in our lives, you

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had a traumatic loss event. And then I don't know how much

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anxiety was with you before that point. But I feel like that

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anxiety does live within the nervous system, because I think

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I have a lot of ways that I ground myself and study myself.

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But this morning, I mentioned to you that I was in the DMV. And

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it was for my son's license. But I was sitting to the side and my

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body was just more flooded with a memory. There was something

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there. I mean, that was definitely the operating. So is

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that with anxiety? And this obviously is like a

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straightforward kind of basic question too. But is that your

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experience that we experience it sort of throughout our different

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bodies, our mind our emotions, our nervous system? Well, first,

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I just want to give you credit, Mama, because that driver's

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license thing is a rite of passage. And so I can understand

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and why things were coming up for you. Absolutely. Yeah. And,

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yeah, maybe we can talk a little bit about the anxious mind. And

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how it does get in the way from us really being more connected

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to ourselves and just the pattern, whether it's anxiety or

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not the patterns of the mind that really can get in these

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ways of looping and can get stuck in these ways of looking

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at what we should have could have would have done and get in

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these places of forward tripping, that really get us out

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of the present moment. Yeah, please, please. Yeah, yeah. So

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yeah, so anxiety, it's a big topic for me.

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My anxiety and I are tight, we've been hanging around each

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other for a long time. And one of the things that I think is

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important, as those of us who really do struggle with patterns

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of anxiety, is to be friended and to know that this is

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actually very biological, and that our primitive limbic

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system, which is doing everything it can to keep us

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safe, right? It's doing what it can't, it can and that, you

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know, it's not exactly the system that works best for our

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modern lifestyle. It was built to help us outrun a saber

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toothed Tiger, and we're not doing that so much anymore. And,

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and so, one place to start with anxiety is just give yourself a

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lot of grace, and see if you can, yeah, just find some self

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compassion and understanding this isn't me, this is biology.

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And another important thing with anxiety is to remember that just

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because in the sensations of anxiety are so strong, but and

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they feel like an alarm in the body. But just because it feels

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like it's an alarm doesn't mean that it's an alarm. And so it's

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really important to recognize that my body signaling doesn't

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actually mean that that's really as urgent as what it feels. I

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love this quote by Robert Fuller, full GM who says Don't

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believe everything you think.

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Right? Yes, we did get really attached to that. Yeah. And when

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we have these sensations that are really strong, we can get

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Yeah, really connected, that this is the truth. And so one of

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the people that I love and her process, Byron Katie, she asked

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these four questions to help work with your thoughts. Yeah,

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you're smiling, you know? Yeah.

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That is it true, starting with that basic question. And that's

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a great place of inquiry. Are these thoughts? Is it true? And

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then also, is it helpful?

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So those are great places to start and to recognize that the

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ways that we're getting stuck in these patterns of being in the

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past or being in the future

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that really pull us out of the present moment. And that's why I

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love how Andrea Gibson, who is a great spoken word poet, she,

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they talk about how they talk about worrying. And they say the

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present moment is far more doable than the future or the

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past.

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Right.

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So that's why any of these practices that help us get into

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the present moment, are so important for all of us, and

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particularly, to interrupt that, that anxious mind. Yeah, and I

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love all the references that you just brought in there the

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the work that has come before the quotes that remind us of the

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present moment, but even with the Byron Katie questions of Is

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it true? Do I know it to be true?

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I always forget the fourth one I know like, what would I be

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without that thought? I love those because they allow us to,

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like you just said witness our thoughts. And we believe were

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our thoughts before learning ways to witness them. And when

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we witnessed them, they, they I feel like they it loosens up the

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grip a little bit. They if we believe that we are those

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thoughts, then that's a hard pattern to break. But if Yeah,

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yeah, I love how you said that loosens up the grip. I think

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that's what it's about. It's like teasing out those spaces,

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and getting more space between the thoughts. Yeah. And then

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there's just more space for you. Right? And then you have a

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little bit more clarity. And the more you can tease that out, the

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better. So yeah, I very much resonate with that. Yeah, I was

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also, yeah, sorry, go ahead. Well, I was just gonna say

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during yoga classes, I would love to experience your teaching

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at some point. But I know that Yoga also gives the opportunity

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for the person experiencing it when the teacher brings their

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wisdom in. And it can be the most gentle reminder of setting

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an intention or talking about your thoughts and anxious lives,

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whatever it is, that is sort of the theme of that class or that

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day. But it brings this reminders because we were

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talking before we started to about like how we can pull in

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all the books in the world. But sometimes I will read an entire

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book. And if you asked me a week or two or two later, what it was

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about it like, I can't really give you a synopsis. But, you

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know, one of the

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I know one of the takeaways you wanted today for the listener

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was what are the simple things I can do? What are what are

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reminders that helped me connect to myself? So, you know, you

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know, if you want to talk a little bit about that, like any

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things and I know today, you also were interested in leading

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the listener through meditation as well. Yeah, yes. I'm excited

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to do that. Yeah. Yeah. So getting practical with it, I

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would love to do that. Because

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the reality is, is, you know, how we frame our thoughts and

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how we think about our anxiety, that's important, but, or just

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how we think about whether it's anxiety, or just the mind

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getting the best of us, right? That's really important. And for

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the anxious mind, it's like, we can't quite think our way out of

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anxiety, right? We got to, in my opinion, we got to intervene,

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and we got to go to the body. And so some of the tips that are

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really important to me is one is to intervene early. And so

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before we get really, really amped up, and this is where

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witnessing helps to be able to recognize, Oh, I see what's

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going on. I know that pattern in my body I see and to intervene.

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And one of the best quickest ways to do that is to find our

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breath. And so, you know, fear which is at the root of our

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anxiety. It has a particular breath pattern, in fact, come to

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find out all emotions have a particular breath pattern. So

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it's really interesting. Anytime that we just shift our breath

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pattern, we can help get us out of that emotional state. And

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with fear the breath is a pie and it's fast. It actually feels

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like we're not getting enough oxygen in but it's not true. We

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are getting enough oxygen we're actually

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depleting

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the carbon dioxide is actually more of a situation but we've

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we've got plenty

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We have oxygen coming in. And it's this upper energy that is

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that has us kind of spinning in our head. And so one of my

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favorite breaths and we can bring this in right now is is

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that navel breathing that diaphragmatic breathing. And so

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I like to teach it that if you place your hand on your belly,

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and just let the inhale, expand and puff up the belly so that

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you feel your hand move with the belly on the inhale. So each

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inhale, there's this puffing up the belly, and the exhale, the

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hand will descend. And sometimes that's harder for people,

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they're not used to it. And so it can be helpful to put your

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upper hand on your heart or on your upper chest and make sure

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that that hand isn't moving, you can kind of test yourself, and

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just see if you can really concentrate on getting the

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breath down into the belly, we're actually bringing breath

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into the lower part of the lungs, and that flattens out the

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diaphragm, which puffs out the belly. And just that awareness,

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forget about the science of slowing the breath down. Because

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it does, you'll probably notice the breath is slower. But it

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also works with our awareness that when we bring our awareness

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to our bellies, we're getting out of the head, we're bringing

Unknown:

our awareness down, right. So that is a quick one. And let's

Unknown:

stay with it, actually, you can stay with this belly breath, you

Unknown:

can stay with it for the rest of the podcast, you can stay with

Unknown:

it for the rest of your life. It's a good one. And this is one

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of my favorites. It's so darn simple. But especially when we

Unknown:

get into things like panic attacks, where we're just not

Unknown:

thinking as clearly we're not in our prefrontal cortex, it's

Unknown:

really good to have simple, simple, simple, so this simple

Unknown:

tool, just place your hand on your belly and breathe into your

Unknown:

belly.

Unknown:

So breath, yes, that is an important one for me, and then

Unknown:

getting moving. So anxiety is a lot of energy, right? And that's

Unknown:

like going into again, class where you're like, rolling

Unknown:

around. It's like, yeah, I don't know, that doesn't work for me,

Unknown:

like to meet that with movement, meet it with some vigor, that's

Unknown:

where I find that we can actually start to move some of

Unknown:

that energy out. And so that that vigor can come in yoga can

Unknown:

come in the form of sun salutations, but it can come in

Unknown:

forms of, you know, really doing some sweaty movement, playing

Unknown:

tennis tennis is is a great one. Because again, you've got to use

Unknown:

your awareness, use your focus, dance, right, get yourself

Unknown:

moving. And then there are particular ways that you can

Unknown:

use, use your yoga to support that anxiety, whether it's with

Unknown:

getting really into your legs, again, getting your awareness

Unknown:

down, getting your awareness into your feet, and doing things

Unknown:

like Chair Pose, doing things like balancing poses that take a

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lot of focus, really, really helpful. And then a big tip that

Unknown:

I find incredibly helpful is getting into naval practices,

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where we're really working our core. And my teacher, Kia

Unknown:

Miller, who I can't say enough about her wisdom, but she is all

Unknown:

about the core. And the belief is, is that if we are not strong

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in ourselves, how can we be with all this change and all this

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stuff that's happening in our environment? And so the practice

Unknown:

of our times is about getting into the core. And so yeah,

Unknown:

yeah, super important. So yeah, getting into the body is great.

Unknown:

And then also working with our energy system. And this is why I

Unknown:

love the practice of yoga is that it is working with our

Unknown:

energy system, as well as the body. And let's face it in

Unknown:

anxious energy, or in most of the energy we're moving through

Unknown:

the world with, we're kind of out fractured, like we're out

Unknown:

here. We're tending to this, we're looking at this, we're

Unknown:

worried about this. And we're sort of outside of ourselves,

Unknown:

right. And it's a really discordant energy. And so these

Unknown:

practices that help to harmonize our energy, like yoga to work

Unknown:

with our energy in prescriptive ways, can be so fabulous. And

Unknown:

that includes working with, you know, body workers that have

Unknown:

ways of helping our energy system come into balance, Reiki,

Unknown:

whatever that is, but also just the simple task of grounding to

Unknown:

the earth. So taking your shoes off, going out and connecting to

Unknown:

the earth. Yes, it sounds hippy, like but the reality is, is that

Unknown:

we are electrical beings, and right beneath us, is ground and

Unknown:

it's actually really important for our energetic systems to

Unknown:

You connect to it. And so we can bring our awareness to our feet,

Unknown:

we can soak up the negative ions that are in the earth. And that

Unknown:

is so important for our whole for our, to ground our energy.

Unknown:

And then yeah, sorry, no, no, it's it's

Unknown:

what I'm getting from a lot of this too is yes, you're kind of

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coming at it from the anxiety, sort of, you know, lens, but

Unknown:

then how important even how you were just saying, in these times

Unknown:

and this discordant energy. And it's really kind of neat,

Unknown:

because I see it coming together as like, oh, wow, this isn't

Unknown:

just a conversation about this conversation today. I can see

Unknown:

like, even Betsy, almost all the conversations that have been

Unknown:

happening even through this podcast, it's just a reminder

Unknown:

for everyone listening, or reminder, a reminder to to

Unknown:

practice practice. Never has there been a more important

Unknown:

time, because, and I'll have you go on to the next and I'm

Unknown:

curious about even lifestyle practices, aside from breathing

Unknown:

movement, and I'm almost thinking like, I love to have

Unknown:

sort of, sometimes a screensaver on my phone, for whatever I'm

Unknown:

working on at that point in my life.

Unknown:

Like, right now I'm doing a process with a group of people

Unknown:

the presence process. So mine says, I love myself

Unknown:

unconditionally. You can't see it. But it almost I feel like

Unknown:

for people Oh, it's 1111.

Unknown:

For people who do experience anxiety, it's almost like might

Unknown:

be above someone's, you know, design abilities. But having

Unknown:

like a cheat sheet where, where you're saying that intervene,

Unknown:

intervening? When you feel it coming on? When you feel it,

Unknown:

that's so important, right? Or like, and then you have like,

Unknown:

okay, these four or five things I can I can look to, in order to

Unknown:

call me because I do believe that it's in the moments,

Unknown:

remembering, remember, oh, my gosh, isn't that the trick? It's

Unknown:

practice, right? It's going back, it's going back? So yeah,

Unknown:

because I know, like a lifestyle, what I do is really

Unknown:

limit my news consumption greatly as to not take in that

Unknown:

energy. And that's not for everybody. But yeah, well, I

Unknown:

love Yeah, how you're working with this personally, and just

Unknown:

bringing up this idea of practice. And for me, that

Unknown:

actually, is something incredibly important to me is

Unknown:

having a daily practice, it's something in the Kundalini

Unknown:

lineage that they take very seriously. In fact, it might be

Unknown:

that you work with the same type of practice for 40 days. Or it

Unknown:

could be extended, it could be your whole life. But this way of

Unknown:

deepening into a practice is so important. It's like our body

Unknown:

can as we do it day after day, it really, it's like it gets

Unknown:

into a new groove. And what I find is, it can just give you

Unknown:

structure, and it's like, you come back to this friend, you

Unknown:

know, okay, I can go do this thing. And I can find myself

Unknown:

again. And really, that's what these practices, all of them are

Unknown:

about is how we find these pathways back to ourselves. And

Unknown:

when you can make that a regular part of your day.

Unknown:

It kind of just simplifies things. And in kundalini, they

Unknown:

do recommend that you do it first thing in the morning. And

Unknown:

the reasoning there is that it's like we kind of get ourselves in

Unknown:

our body, we get our energy, rolling and coherent. And then

Unknown:

we can take on the day from a different place. And even just

Unknown:

the idea of in the morning, that we're just more connected to

Unknown:

other realms. And so there's a way that morning, time slot

Unknown:

really works. And it doesn't work for all people, obviously.

Unknown:

And there's always value and just sneaking in the little

Unknown:

practices throughout the day. But for those that are like, Oh

Unknown:

my gosh, I couldn't possibly take on

Unknown:

daily practice. I understand that too. And I don't want to

Unknown:

say oh, you you know, this is something this is an assignment

Unknown:

you must add to your day. But I do find that when I'm grounded

Unknown:

and find that pathway to myself, I just I am more efficient, I

Unknown:

can be more present. I can meet people from a different place.

Unknown:

And so sometimes we want to think, Oh, we don't have time

Unknown:

for it. But I see it as like, well actually, I think that it

Unknown:

makes it makes us just more efficient throughout our day.

Unknown:

Yeah, I think I can create that spaciousness. And then I think

Unknown:

that's why there it's good for the repetition of these messages

Unknown:

of the messages over and over from different

Unknown:

voices and conduits because I was thinking, the simplest of

Unknown:

things like, fill your own cup first, you can hear it like, Oh,

Unknown:

I heard that 10 years ago, first or eight years ago, you know

Unknown:

what I mean? But then the more you hear it, the more and then

Unknown:

you begin to know, oh, that's really true. Maybe I wouldn't

Unknown:

say it that way, or I don't like those particular words. But it's

Unknown:

that self nourishment. And that really putting yourself first

Unknown:

and it makes sense to kind of

Unknown:

honor yourself in the beginning of the day, in order to, to, I

Unknown:

don't know, be able to give to the other parts of the day that

Unknown:

you are required to because we all have to, whether it's a job

Unknown:

or our kids or an aging parent, that's there for us. So it seems

Unknown:

really important to me, right? Yeah. I couldn't agree more.

Unknown:

Yeah. Did you want to share your breath practice today? I do.

Unknown:

And, and yet, there's a couple more things just on the anxiety

Unknown:

front that I can't not share, because they've been so

Unknown:

important to me. And again, because our mind gets stuck, it

Unknown:

wants to stay in the mind that I think hearing these ways to

Unknown:

intervene, can be really important. And one of the things

Unknown:

about,

Unknown:

about anxiety is a place we can really get stuck is that we can

Unknown:

really feel alienated, we can feel all alone, nobody gets it.

Unknown:

And it's a it's a feeling it sort of feels like we're

Unknown:

trapped. And, and so yes, we can bring that anxiety to to others.

Unknown:

And we might want them to amp it up and be then meet us where we

Unknown:

are like, Oh my gosh, can you see this person and we might

Unknown:

want them to kind of stir up to our level.

Unknown:

But what I suggest is not coming towards people with that energy,

Unknown:

but rather with this very vulnerable energy. And you have

Unknown:

to find the right people to do this with. But to be able to

Unknown:

reach out and just say to someone who cares about you, I

Unknown:

am anxious, and it is really hard right now.

Unknown:

And just being able to reach out and touch someone and not have

Unknown:

to have them fix it. But just to have them see that and hear

Unknown:

that, that that is that can change everything. And it

Unknown:

reminds me of this story we heard in our hakomi training

Unknown:

about monkeys, there's a particular monkey that when they

Unknown:

are under threat, that or after they've had some stressful event

Unknown:

happen, that they will go in touch another monkey. And then

Unknown:

that monkey touches another monkey.

Unknown:

And they're just using this energetic charge. And there's

Unknown:

just something so incredibly beautiful. And that is such a

Unknown:

powerful reminder. And just also in that place of touch and the

Unknown:

power of touch. That if we can also find the person that can

Unknown:

give us a hug. If we can ask for a hug, and have a hug. We know

Unknown:

there's there's science in how that can co regulate our

Unknown:

systems. We don't have to talk. It's just this feeling of touch

Unknown:

in the way of being held and resting into that. So yeah, more

Unknown:

hugs. So beautiful. So beautiful. It feels like themes

Unknown:

of safety and trust in there and leaning in and receiving. Hey,

Unknown:

right. Yeah, yeah, knowing you're not alone. That's

Unknown:

beautiful. Yeah.

Unknown:

I know, you've got your training and hakomi. And you just

Unknown:

mentioned it. Do you want to say you know a little bit more about

Unknown:

why it's so special to you? You know, I do but maybe before we

Unknown:

go there worrying? Sure. I'd love to talk a little bit more

Unknown:

about Kundalini. Beautiful. Would that be okay? Yeah. Okay,

Unknown:

great. Kundalini

Unknown:

is kind of its own breed of yoga. And

Unknown:

so yeah, we talked about, you know, there are so many

Unknown:

different types of yoga out there. And Kundalini is

Unknown:

different than a lot of what we see those Hatha and vinyasa

Unknown:

classes. And

Unknown:

it is very much tied into how we work with the system, the energy

Unknown:

system of the body, and how we bring ourselves into coherence.

Unknown:

And we do it through these very interesting and sometimes

Unknown:

unusual ways of using the body sort of as an instrument. And so

Unknown:

you might be working with the breath in a particular way you

Unknown:

might be having the arms out in a particular at a particular

Unknown:

angle. And in these Koreas there actually designed so that maybe

Unknown:

for a couple of minutes, you're working with one movement, and

Unknown:

then another the next couple minutes, you're working with a

Unknown:

completely different movement. And it's all

Unknown:

All with this way in which we are systematically working with

Unknown:

the energy systems of the body, so it's quite different. And

Unknown:

yeah, often we are trying to build the energy or stabilize

Unknown:

the energy or direct the energy. And so through that, you can

Unknown:

actually get really prescriptive about

Unknown:

different effects that you're looking for. And so this is

Unknown:

where Kundalini gets really interesting is that they have

Unknown:

different practices that can meet different needs. And that

Unknown:

could be anything from anxiety, to feeling foggy in your head,

Unknown:

there's actually Korea that's really helpful for Alzheimer's

Unknown:

that's been proven to help with Alzheimer's.

Unknown:

There can be taught detoxifying Korea's ones that build

Unknown:

confidence that have that emphasis at the Naval, self

Unknown:

love, emotional balance, there's all these different ways that

Unknown:

you can actually kind of shop for just the right practice that

Unknown:

meets you. So it's quite different. And it's a little

Unknown:

odd. But

Unknown:

to me, it's, it's a, it's sort of like supercharging, your yoga

Unknown:

practice. And so for me, because of my high anxiety, there's a

Unknown:

way that that has met me in ways that other yoga hasn't

Unknown:

really beneficial, is it? Is it easy for people to find

Unknown:

practitioners or, you know, I can make it easy for you,

Unknown:

because I have a teacher that has, that I couldn't recommend

Unknown:

more highly. Her name is Kia Miller. And she has her classes

Unknown:

on glow, which is a subscription site. It's jell o.com. And she

Unknown:

has hundreds of these and you can search on them depending on

Unknown:

what you're looking for. And she really truly is just a masterful

Unknown:

teacher, she has

Unknown:

gone deep into her own practice unto her studies of Kundalini.

Unknown:

And yeah, she has everything to do with sort of my evolution as

Unknown:

a student and as a teacher. Okay, thanks for that share.

Unknown:

That will be really beneficial.

Unknown:

Awesome, thank

Unknown:

you. Yeah. So where would you like to go from there? Do you

Unknown:

think?

Unknown:

Oh, I didn't know if you wanted to jump into the breath

Unknown:

practice? Yes, that would this would be a great time to do

Unknown:

that. Thank you. So yeah, let's take a little practice here.

Unknown:

I'll break out. There's so many and this is where it gets hard

Unknown:

for me because there are so many good ones to choose from, but I

Unknown:

thought I'd pick one that we can do with the group. And this can

Unknown:

work for people that are even driving in their car or doing

Unknown:

whatever you're doing, okay.

Unknown:

And this this breath, my teacher Kia Miller calls this the anti

Unknown:

insight and sanity breath.

Unknown:

So

Unknown:

it's very practical breath. And yeah, you can, it's pretty

Unknown:

portable, you can take it with you. And so maybe before we get

Unknown:

started with this breath, we can just start to find our way to

Unknown:

our seat. And if you are driving, you can, you know, do

Unknown:

this driving. But if you can sit on something that kind of gives

Unknown:

you a firm base underneath you. So you can find that tall spine,

Unknown:

that's great. We're again, working with the anatomy of the

Unknown:

body, sort of the instrument of the spine here. And we're gonna

Unknown:

work with mudra. So the mudra, the hand position, is this left

Unknown:

palm is going to come and face the heart and the left elbows

Unknown:

kind of winging out to the side. Yeah. And then the right hand is

Unknown:

going to be placed on the back of the left hand. So both palms

Unknown:

are facing you right palm on top of the left, left palm closest

Unknown:

to the heart, but not touching the heart, maybe about, I don't

Unknown:

know, four inches away or something. And then the thumbs

Unknown:

connect. So this is how specific Kundalini gets. And then if you

Unknown:

can get the arm so that they're parallel to the ground. So the

Unknown:

forearms are sort of in this parallel line. That's great. So

Unknown:

if someone's driving, they can just do the breathing part.

Unknown:

Yeah. Just do the breathing point. Part. And there is also a

Unknown:

position are a drishti gazing point for the eyes. And so

Unknown:

obviously, if you're driving, keep your eyes open. Listen and

Unknown:

come back. That's right. So the actually the drishti is to look

Unknown:

down towards the tip of the nose, which is very funky and

Unknown:

weird. It kind of has a little bit of a cross eyed feeling to

Unknown:

it. But this is again, very prescriptive in the way it's

Unknown:

working with the optic nerve and putting some pressure on the

Unknown:

pituitary gland.

Unknown:

So, all that said, will start to bring in the breath here. And if

Unknown:

you know makes your eyes crazy, just let that go and do your

Unknown:

best. But the breath is taking an inhale, it's all through the

Unknown:

nose.

Unknown:

And then pause at the top of the inhale.

Unknown:

And then exhale

Unknown:

and pause.

Unknown:

And then cycle again, as you inhale,

Unknown:

pause for maybe three, or four or five counts.

Unknown:

And then exhale.

Unknown:

And try to pause for that same amount.

Unknown:

So we'll continue that pattern inhaling,

Unknown:

and pausing.

Unknown:

Exhale,

Unknown:

and pause.

Unknown:

And here's where you can start to lengthen that pause if it

Unknown:

feels available. So I like to say kind of, make it

Unknown:

interesting, make the paws interesting. So you're

Unknown:

stretching it out a bit, but not so much that it's like you're

Unknown:

gripping. And so you can stretch it out, maybe it reaches as far

Unknown:

as 10 counts, but you make it work for you and try to keep the

Unknown:

pause at the top of the breath. And the bottom the breath the

Unknown:

same.

Unknown:

This pausing of the breath has a fabulous way of just

Unknown:

interrupting our automatic cycles. And so we have this

Unknown:

opportunity as we pause to actually kind of wake up and pay

Unknown:

attention. So be with that, but little paying attention. It's

Unknown:

available, this kind of breaking off automatic.

Unknown:

And you can pay attention to notice if you sort of are

Unknown:

gripping in the pause. And if you are to see if you can find

Unknown:

some gentleness there, it's almost like you're just cutting

Unknown:

a butterfly.

Unknown:

So stay with that, that

Unknown:

gentle pause, stretching it out,

Unknown:

as long as it's interesting and comfortable.

Unknown:

And then trying to keep it the same at the bottom of the exhale

Unknown:

as well.

Unknown:

And if you've lost that little eye gaze, sometimes we forget

Unknown:

about it, you can bring that back in, or maybe you want to

Unknown:

disregard that, that's great, too.

Unknown:

We'll just be here for a little bit longer, we're going for

Unknown:

three minutes here, three minutes can

Unknown:

really make a difference in our nervous system.

Unknown:

So see if you can stay with yourself and just notice way

Unknown:

when you move away from yourself when the thoughts take you away.

Unknown:

And then just use the breath to guide you gently back to

Unknown:

yourself.

Unknown:

And then to finish our practice will inhale together and find

Unknown:

that pause at the top of the inhale. And if you know Mala

Unknown:

abunda. So that's that lifting up of the pelvic floor. It's a

Unknown:

little Kegel exercise, you can bring that in and that draws

Unknown:

energy upwards to the center of the head.

Unknown:

And then exhale, you can release the arms down and just release

Unknown:

the breath so that you're finding its natural, or it's

Unknown:

finding its natural rhythm.

Unknown:

And you might notice as you're released, the breath, that there

Unknown:

is more

Unknown:

just smoothness to the breath, it's a little smoother, a little

Unknown:

deeper,

Unknown:

a little longer.

Unknown:

And here's where you might also notice the thoughts and whether

Unknown:

the thoughts might be coming at a different pace a little

Unknown:

slower. A little more space between the thoughts

Unknown:

and a little bit more space for you.

Unknown:

And so if you're feeling more of the you or the deeper you within

Unknown:

you pay attention notice that you can even say hi you.

Unknown:

So this is really what all these practices are about is finding

Unknown:

this deeper connection to ourselves.

Unknown:

And in fact, we often close our practice with the sound Satnaam

Unknown:

and Satnaam is this way of recognizing that

Unknown:

If, at the essence of ourselves at the core of ourselves is

Unknown:

truth, so we say sloth known

Unknown:

for

Unknown:

so beautiful,

Unknown:

and calming. And just it feels, it just feels really like

Unknown:

luscious. Or is

Unknown:

it like a luxury like a luxury, right? But but our brothers

Unknown:

should not be a luxury because it's with us. But we get so far

Unknown:

away from it that when we do the practice, it's like, oh, wow,

Unknown:

no, it's it's actually part of me. Are there also?

Unknown:

I feel very calm right now. So thank you for them. Are there

Unknown:

also for those, either, whether you're experiencing anxiety more

Unknown:

often? And even if you're not in that form, like you were saying

Unknown:

earlier, our minds are on overdrive a lot. Are there

Unknown:

phrases, or, you know, mantras that you use to come to yourself

Unknown:

as well? Hmm. You know, I happen to love these mantras that are

Unknown:

in Sanskrit, Sanskrit is such a amazing language and the way it

Unknown:

works with kind of the anatomy of sound. So even the all

Unknown:

the way the Oz in the back of the throat, the O is the center,

Unknown:

kind of opening up the throat, at the lips.

Unknown:

It has this resonance, and yet for a lot of people, these

Unknown:

Sanskrit words, they're, they're not familiar. And so it can be

Unknown:

really nice to just have English words that are meaningful. And

Unknown:

so you can simply work with mantras like I am peace, or I am

Unknown:

love. Yeah, you can create your own mantra for whatever it is

Unknown:

that you're working with just something that helps bring you

Unknown:

to yourself. Yeah, I always think of I am safe or, yeah, I,

Unknown:

what comes to mind is, I can trust myself or I trust myself.

Unknown:

I have I have resources I and I recently heard, I had never

Unknown:

really heard this kind of work either being referred to as

Unknown:

resourcing, or to feel resourced, or to be resources to

Unknown:

be able to tap into these kinds of skills and tools that we can

Unknown:

just use on a daily basis. So yeah, I think what you've

Unknown:

offered today is so incredibly, just beneficial and helpful.

Unknown:

Talking about it from so many different lenses of Yeah, the

Unknown:

topic of anxiety and our mind. But then the practices that are

Unknown:

really, they're really pretty accessible. And practical Betsy,

Unknown:

is right there, especially the breath. It's just right there.

Unknown:

It's just a matter of remembering.

Unknown:

And as we talk about mantra, maybe I just want to bring in

Unknown:

this one other thought around that because this is such a

Unknown:

lovely one to work with is just the sound.

Unknown:

So vibrates the lips. And this is what is always so crazy about

Unknown:

this yoga practice is that these Yogi's figured this out 1000s of

Unknown:

years ago before they knew anything about polyvagal theory,

Unknown:

right. But somehow they knew that the sounds, you know, which

Unknown:

does affect the vagal nerve, are calming and so just that sound

Unknown:

we sometimes do that naturally.

Unknown:

really calming.

Unknown:

And then I'll mention one other sound I just have been working

Unknown:

with lately that I love for bringing more clarity to the

Unknown:

mind. It has a very different sense of the way that it feels

Unknown:

in the body. And that and it's very similar sounds similar to

Unknown:

own but its own O N G own. And it vibrates the crown. So I'm

Unknown:

just saying that five times on can really help bring some

Unknown:

clarity. So beautiful, beautiful. Thank you for all of

Unknown:

the insight, the wisdom and the the walkaway tools today. It's

Unknown:

amazing.

Unknown:

Welcome, as we wrap up, I don't know if you've got anything else

Unknown:

you would like to add before we kind of share with the audience

Unknown:

where to find you. You know, one thing that I thought to mention

Unknown:

because as women and many mothers, I'm sure are listening,

Unknown:

just talking a little bit about Worry.

Unknown:

Worry of our kids. You're nodding, right? Like it's sort

Unknown:

of Yeah, how do we not get stuck there and so in this place of

Unknown:

worry, just a couple points that might be

Unknown:

A helpful.

Unknown:

One is is to recognize that fear of our kids safety is

Unknown:

biological.

Unknown:

And it's how we're wired. Right? It helps us keep our kids alive.

Unknown:

Yeah. And so one of the things about worry is to just give

Unknown:

yourself again, give yourself grace, like, Yeah, I'm a mom, of

Unknown:

course, I'm worried and just you can talk to yourself and be

Unknown:

like, Yeah, I understand. And also do that check in like,

Unknown:

recognizing that our what our biology is telling us, even

Unknown:

though it sounds like an alarm, that it might not be an alarm,

Unknown:

right. And you can do that, kind of looking at these thoughts

Unknown:

that you're worried about, just as we talked about with Byron,

Unknown:

Katie, and sort of looking at, like, really, what is my fear

Unknown:

here, and is it true.

Unknown:

But one of the things that I can't stress enough is just this

Unknown:

idea of self care. And, you know, we know this again, and

Unknown:

again, you mentioned it putting on the oxygen mask first. But

Unknown:

when we are more in ourselves, when we can access more of our

Unknown:

bandwidth, where we can access our higher self, we're parenting

Unknown:

from a different place than from this place of worry, and our

Unknown:

kids do feel it, and they pick up on it. And we definitely

Unknown:

don't want to bring to our kids like, Oh, you're making me

Unknown:

worried, and I'm scared and this energy that we want them to fix

Unknown:

us, we need to show up to, to them as like, I've got me, and I

Unknown:

can help you too. And so that way in which like really feeling

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grounded in ourselves is is the work and we can always come back

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to that.

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And then there is this worry practice, and I'll put a link to

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that. But I really like it actually involves drinking

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water, because water is so helpful for the emotional

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balance of the system.

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And

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and then just taking that step back from as far as from the

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parenting role to recognize that, you know, our kids are

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going to have their own path, and that we can't control it,

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and we can't fix it all. And to recognize that they are going to

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work through their own path just as we well to

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in it reminds me of what is in my control, and what's out of my

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control. And what's in our control. Are the practices are

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the choice, the choice to come back to ourselves the choice,

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but I am happy that you pointed out the worry, because that's

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another

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real thing, the real thing that we experience. And you know,

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even if we try to,

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you know, I think bypass it and

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even go to positive thinking or what try to I do feel the

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biological part of it. It's reminded me go in for the hug

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for that to be oh my gosh, yeah, we do. We all do carry a lot

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around. If you are if the listener is a parent is a mother

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and even if we're not a biological mother, we are

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mothering others. So we need to go in for that. I'll get that

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support, and also give it to ourselves. 100% Yes, that is the

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answer.

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Yeah. Thank you for everything. And where can our listeners find

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you if they go to look for your work? Yeah, so my website is

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Betsy grim.com. I also am on YouTube with some of these tools

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that sees yoga tools, you can find me there. And I'll put a

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link into some of the specific tools that I recommend. And

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yeah, I think that's it. That's great. I'll link everything in

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the show notes. And we I'll try to go through my transcript and

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just pull out everything and everyone Kia and Byron, Katie,

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and just everyone we mentioned today. So the resources. Yeah,

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awesome. That's great. Don't worry, I don't know if we have

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time for this or not. But there's this kind of umbrella

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notion that has been on my mind and what I've wanted to share.

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And so again, I don't know if there's time to talk about this.

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But there's something that's really helped me that just kind

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of guide my way of thinking about my life, and finding these

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ways in which we find the pathway back, you know, whether

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it's through our yoga practices where we find these glimpses of

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ourself or like all these places where it's like, yeah, here I

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am. And it came from this this poem. It's really sort of a

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prayer that pixie Lighthouse says where she talks about

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healing places

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is, and what she says is teach us to see, read the tracks and

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follow the markings that lead us to the healing places. And it's

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when I heard that because I was already doing that. But I wasn't

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really even recognizing that that actually can be sort of a

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way in which we navigate our whole lives, like we can create

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our whole life around finding healing places, and what a

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different world it would be if we all oriented around healing

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places. And there's so much out there, there's just so many vast

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ways to find healing and find that pathway back that can be

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just as simple as the breath.

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Yes, thanks for I mean, that's such an invitation for people

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and that discovery of the things that will speak specifically to

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you to the to each of us, right, it might look, there might be

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overlap, but it's going to look distinctly our own too. And

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that's the beautiful blend that you brought today. And you do

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bring is everything that you've pulled in, together, at paired,

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first and foremost with your experiences and what you really

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came to teach and offer to people and to cultivate within

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yourself. I mean, it's just such beautiful work and thanks for,

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for doing it and being it and being here today with us because

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it was just a pleasure to have this conversation with you. Oh,

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well. It's such a pleasure to be here and to be with a mystical

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sister. It really lights my heart up. It's a pleasure. Yeah,

Unknown:

I loved our conversation. Yeah, me too. We will continue it in

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the future. And yeah, to our listeners. Thanks for being

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here. share with a friend if you have someone in your world that

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would benefit from any part of this conversation. And we'll see

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you next time.

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Thanks for listening to this episode of mystical sisterhood.

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If you love what you heard, please visit Apple podcast and

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subscribe and leave a review and share with a friend if you're

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called to do so. To learn more about my one on one coaching

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programs, or join the mystical sisterhood membership, visit

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Maureen spielman.com or mystical sisterhood.com Thanks so much.

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I'll see you in the next episode.

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