Welcome back to Dont get this Twisted

In this episode, Robb and Tina explore the complexities of friendships and relationships, particularly how easily they can transition to strangers. They discuss the phenomenon of ghosting in modern dating, the importance of communication, and the mental health benefits of cutting ties with people who no longer serve a positive role in their lives. The conversation also touches on the challenges of reconnecting with exes and the merciful choice of letting go to allow for personal growth and healing.

Explicit

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And welcome to another show of Don't Get This Twisted. I am Rob along with my co-host as always, Tina. How you doing, Tina?

I am tired today, Rob. I wanna like, go take a blanket and go sit in the park underneath a tree and go to sleep. It's a really, it's a great day, but I'm, I'm just over it already. It's barely lunchtime.

It is a tad chilly to be out laying under in the park, though. You'd have to be in the sun for sure. Yeah, I was I went and walked my dog this morning at six o'clock and it

Not in the sun. The sun's good.

Yeah.

47 degrees. Yeah, I was. I'm yeah, being on a bike will do that to you for sure.

I took a ride yesterday and There were parts of the ride where I froze my teethies off It was not on the cooler side anyway, but then once we hit certain areas I was like, my goodness and And of course, I'm like, I'm not gonna need all the gear. Well, thankfully I keep extra gear because that was the day to need it all

Yep, yeah, it's These mornings are they're they're getting colder and colder for me and the dog so but he doesn't care. He loves it He's yeah, he can't get enough of it. He ran he ran the whole time Didn't care Let's see what are we gonna? yeah, what are we gonna talk about today?

They were everything I had.

Yeah, that's funny.

We are going to talk about I think mostly with friendships and relationships. I've been watching some things on YouTube mostly with relationships, but friendships also kind of roll into these things. How easy it is that we go from being friends or in a relationship to strangers and how quick it happens.

Yeah. Sometimes it happens pretty darn quick.

So, yeah, sometimes it happens absurdly quick. And I think it happens absurdly quick for the right reasons. Right. So a lot of these people were were YouTube being and a lot of it too was. Most of it was on dating where, like, you could go out with somebody like five or six times and all of a they just disappear.

Yeah, for sure.

Right, that was kind of the vibe of the video. And then I started thinking about it, like, what about life? Like real life and not just like a couple of dates and then I can see how that could happen. I mean, I think that in today's dating world, you get ghosted really quickly anyway, where people just... Yeah, they...

Yeah, because people can't take responsibility for what they're feeling and act like a human with a person that they said they wanted to be with. I don't understand that whole ghosting concept.

Me either. don't I also don't understand someone just not going I'm just interested like we had a good time a matter of fact I went on a date I went on a couple of dates two dates with this one girl a long time ago now and now that I think about it super sweet really good time and then I tried asking her out again and she was really up front like she's like look

I you're cool. I don't think I want to date at all. And like and we're friends on Facebook and she's not bullshitting like she doesn't do anything. I think she's just. Go we're going through whatever she's going through and. And super cool, but I like that she was just up front and she even told me she goes, if you want to go out for lunch, we can like Dutch like we can just go and have lunch.

And I thought that was really cool, like very upfront and unlike a lot of people today. You know, because it was bitching. I was like, cool. and she's a sweetheart. I, you know, I didn't go out with her again just because of logistics and like things happening in my life. I ended up, you know, really kind of humping down with this.

Right?

I agree. It is.

Mm-hmm.

shoulder thing and blah blah blah. But I would totally go see her again. He's like 35 minutes from my house, super cool, great conversation. You know, and as long as everyone goes into it, knowing that there's nothing past this bullshitting at lunch, I think it's there's nothing wrong with it.

Yeah. No, that's, that's how life should be this whole like ghosting and not, you know, just not telling people what the hell is going on. And you know what I noticed that like people leave people insecure because of the way they leave like, why would you if you dated them three, four or five, whatever times and it's not getting along, just say you know what

this isn't working out for me but you're really cool like I could appreciate that I'm okay with that you know but I don't know it's kind of weird these how these things happen people just don't that's how they show they don't want to be around

Yeah, well, I just think it's people think it's easy because now you just block people, right? Yeah, that that could get odd.

Yeah, until you run into them at the mall or, you know, church or... That's when I want to be a bug on the wall.

Right. Thankfully, I don't think that that's ever really, really happened to me. And I don't believe it has. And if it did, it was probably many, many, many years later. So it's a little less odd. But. I mean, look, I will tell you that, like, I'm really

I'm really good, I guess people I would say to myself, but really bad in other people's minds where once I know it's done, I really cut people off. But I'll tell them. Yeah, but I've also had to tell people like I liked somebody and they ended up getting with some guy and I was like, look, it's better for me. Like, I wish you well, but I can't.

Well, that's what done means.

Because like they were like, you know, we can still be friends and I was like, that's difficult. When you have when you have feelings for somebody, it's difficult to just turn the friend switch on. I find it easier for me to just be done. You know, and and I and if this person texts me tomorrow or even called me, showed up my door, I would be there for her because I.

Yeah, for sure.

Lover to death. But I know now that, you know, you're you have to keep people at an arm's length. That's just the way it is. I also feel the longer that you're you distance yourself from people, you find yourself going. I don't miss them romantically. I miss them like a friend like I I I would say that like I do miss certain people as friends that I could just.

pick up the phone and talk to them. But, you know, I think it's best for, and I'm gonna roll the mental health roller coaster, but I think it's good for your mental health or your inner self to just cut people the fuck off.

Well, takes a lot less patience. That's for sure. Because if you cut them off, you just don't have to deal with anything. You could let yourself heal. You could, you could not have them in your daily world to be thinking about them that that gets rough, especially when you can't be with them. So it makes sense to distance yourself until you're until you're your feelings kind of

balance out. But some people can never balance out. Most people I don't think ever really balance out. It's not easy to get to that spot.

Absolutely. It's very difficult.

Yeah, I mean.

I was thinking about my ex and, and I don't even know that I would say I'm balanced out. I really came to terms with it. I had a lot of time to sit there and think during COVID, but I wonder if he feels the same way. I would hope he does that we've gotten to a place where, it's okay and that everything's fine. It seems like we're good on that, but I don't want to speak for him, but

Mm-hmm.

Do you know what that took to get from being married to divorce to like being a good friend like a solid person that took? That took so much consistency That took so much like respect for the other person I don't really see people having that level of respect even in a relationship let alone divorcing through one So, don't know I think that I think we definitely took the hard road and it would

Right. Right.

and you're supposed to move on and you're supposed to let go of people and you're, you're just supposed to do that. So you're not torturing yourself or, or the person that you're with. But I don't know, this day and age is different because we could just communicate so easily even when we're not communicating. Like I could put a, I could put something out there on, on social media and it, nobody knows what I'm even talking about, but that personal know.

you

Sure. Yeah, they call that vague booking. When you put.

yeah, that's the thing. I always learn new words with you, because I don't pay attention to this shit ever.

They call it, I don't know what they would call it on Instagram, but on Facebook it's called vague booking. And if you do it on Twitter, it's called subtweeting.

Seriously, there's actual names for this shit.

Yeah, so you're basically you you leave. I mean, I've done it a bunch of times that I literally left something on my Facebook for one person. See.

Yeah, I've wondered that a hundred times if I've wondered it once but not just you other people and then there's people like me it's like I haven't posted in like six months or

Well, and I think that's also the other thing that can that can make people wonder, right? You know. absolutely. Like you can you can look. well, here's the thing. It all matters how you are as a person. think if you cut somebody off and you mean to cut people off and like not talk to them or not, you have to.

You think so?

be diligent enough to not check social media. like with people that I know, or for people that I would want to check up on, I can't see their stuff anyway. So I don't have to worry about it.

Yeah.

See, there's people that I that are still friends on my social media for whatever reason that I don't even like or care about. And when I see their posts, I just like ignore it. Like I, just scroll through or I'll even put it on where you don't have to see anything of theirs for an extended amount of time. Like I'm not into, and this is the thing with social media is that if you want to annoy yourself, you don't need

Correct. yeah.

any freaking help. If you want to be annoyed, you could do that so easily. Just get on social media and see what somebody's doing. I don't got time for that. I'm actually, I'm actually proud of myself. Robin, I feel like I'm living my life and I'm not, I'm not watching it on a little tiny screen that people could come in and out of my life.

It's actually really good that you're not I not to get too far off topic but about social media

It's it's meant to make us angry so we keep coming back So you add relationships? Into that and it's it's two or threefold right so you're you're constantly seeing this person You know doing whatever it is you wish you were doing it with them so you you really have to do it and and really cut people off and It's difficult look to go from being

Yeah.

Like, let's say we'll start with friendships where you're like really good friends and you talk all the time and and if you and if you see each other all the time, I'm sure it's 50 times worse. But if something yeah, but if something happens and you have to. You know, become strangers. I think it's for the best that you just become strangers and and sometimes you have to cut off other people because of that.

Right, I've had to do that.

But if you have a very large friendship group, know that you end up someone has to be the odd man out. Right. Or you start feeling like, you know, let's say you share friends, which is fine. But when you see each other, when you see your friends that your ex is with or your other friends that you can't talk to it, you have to really be diligent about not talking about that.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

You know, and then it's a you thing. It becomes how do you handle the situation, not anything else, you know? And it's difficult. know, no one wants to become a stranger overnight because then you live in your own head.

Yep, for sure.

You know, and, and, know, we can even talk exes like where, you know, we've both, we've been married and then went through a divorce where, you know, in my case, it was very difficult because I had a six year old. So like I had to see her every other week. Now, you know, months later, we, you know, we definitely cut that

Yeah.

any situation from happening ever again. But then I was very brutal. I just cut the umbilical cord. Like I was like, okay, she doesn't want to fuck it. I'm done. Move on. This is where I need to do. And then I started thinking, you know, what do I need to do? What do I, you know, where do I want to be? Do I want to see other people? Do I want to start dating? Do I want to look what's out there?

And you have to do that and people also will shit on you for that. you moved on so quick. I mean, yes, because it was thrown at me that it's time to move on. I know that people will throw out the, they must have been cheating, blah, blah, blah, because they moved on so quick. No, I think that that's a fallacy.

Does it happen? Absolutely. I'd be lying to you if I said that that doesn't happen. But I also don't think that you can't just go out and meet somebody new. mean, we're creatures that need people. So if you fall into somebody again quickly and it's making you happy, go for it. There's nothing wrong with that.

I just think that because I hear a bunch of people out there all the time. They're like, you know that the cheater always gets with them really quick. It's like that's Yes, I'm sure that happens a lot of the time, but I think it's a fallacy to think that you can't go out and meet somebody

Well, not only that though, the cheater who's going out and finding somebody quickly, like if they were already cheating, they've been over a while. So even though you were together, they were still done with you. So in that case, like, what do you mean it went quickly? Like now, now it's just the person is capable to do it because there isn't anybody stopping them. That's it.

Mm-hmm.

Right in their head, in their head it wasn't.

Right, And like you said, in their head, they were probably done far before that. Yeah.

long time before. Yeah, for sure. That's why cheating occurs. There's not if if if there's not that true connection, then a lot of things are going to happen.

Mm-hmm. Yeah, I mean, that's a good point. Like you just, you just don't know. But I do think that the cutting off thing, look, I think for people who are out there listening and going through anything like that, it's not easy. I don't care if you were married two years or 25 years.

It's not easy because you're starting a new life, right? And the same with friends. Like you might've been with, you might've been friends with somebody for 30 years. And yeah, and something crazy happens. So you find yourself in a position of having to change everything and everyone around you.

I've done that.

Yeah, it's like a reinvention almost.

And and look, you will find yourself sometimes lonely in that situation. Like I said, if you had a ton of different friends that were their combined friends. Yeah, I could see how it could happen. And the same with being married, right? If you're if you if you have. If your wife.

is friends with another person's wife and you're friends with the husband it puts things in turmoil.

Cause you're like, man, I just wanted to, you know, hang out with you guys again. It's like, well, you know, you know, blah, blah, blah. She's coming over. It's like, okay. So.

And you know, if you give that time to it levels out and people will be like, yeah, I'd love to see you because enough time has gone by that the herd goes away. then you could start and then sometimes you just need the break to reinvent yourself. Like all the distractions aren't going to make anything any better.

That's 100 % true that I think a lot of the distractions sometimes make it hard. Yeah. Sometimes you need to just, you know, do your thing and like it took me. I mean, a good. Even after I kind of cut the cord, I would say, you know, that was about eight months after she left. So.

make it harder.

You know that that's a good amount of time to be with yourself and and see what's going on and Test the waters of whatever it is you want to do So your oats a little bit, you know Sometimes you got to sleep with somebody else just to kind of get your wits about you And I know that that's a horrible thing to say but it's true you know, and and then sometimes you're gonna sleep with people who Are there just to

be that for you, right? To give you that, or yeah, get your confidence back. You know, because like sometimes when you're married for a long period of time and then you get back into the field, you you might not feel as, as, you know,

over the hump a person.

Yeah.

confident?

confident about going out and meeting women or having a man hit on you when you've been married for so long. You don't know how to take it. In your head you're like, I'm still married. So it's...

It's difficult. But I think becoming strangers, as hard as it is, is for the best in 90 % of the cases. you

Well, you can't be reminded of them if they're not around. You know, you don't have, you could think whatever you want to. You could make up your own, whatever you want to about them. And then that's basically what you tell yourself and that works, you know? So

I mean, yeah. Yeah.

like leaving them alone is is a good thing but when they pop back into your life it could stir up so much drama and anxiety and and feelings and why why even do that you know if you if you stay stay away it makes it a lot easier not that i listen to myself in in all my aspects of my life but

Yes. I agree. I've look I have told myself a few times like I'm done. I'm not going to talk to this person ever again. And that wasn't the truth. Right. So you find yourself. Look.

The ones where I cut it off it was much easier.

Yeah.

Yeah.

emotions and feelings are a dangerous game right so and and and not that people not that everyone uses them against you it's kind of what i want to say because i don't think this person came back into my life to you know for their own gain right it just at the time she needed someone to talk to she was going through her own

issues and abuse and whatever and and we live close to each other so she knew that if you know wanted to go get a drink she could you know what I mean that kind of um but then knowing how that ended up happening and going a certain direction I probably for the best should have just never answered right so you

You know, but now, now looking back on that again, which is now like a year later, you know, it's for the best. Like everyone is in a better place or everyone's in an okay place. At least on the surface. Right. So, well, I mean, sure. I didn't choose that, but I chose it out of them choosing, which is how life works as well.

Everyone is where they chose to be.

Yeah.

Mm-hmm. It's still a choice. You still had to make a choice. You chose to walk away, leave it alone, and deal with it.

Right, everyone.

Correct. And I chose to tell them like, look, you know, it's great that you want to be friends. And I told them, look, I will always be your friend. Always. Like I said, if she knocked on the door tomorrow, I'd help her. I would just definitely keep someone at an arm's length.

Mm-hmm.

but I think that that happens with anyone that you have feelings for. If you think that you can just turn on the friend switch. Like, and that's all it's going to be. That's a very, very difficult thing to do. think what mostly once you've passed a line in the sand, right? I think once you've slept together and you, and made a commitment.

and then put in time, end up, it ends up being very difficult to be a friend to somebody because you're always thinking what might've been. So, and heaven forbid they call you asking you, know, or, and I don't know if guys do it with girls all the time, but like girls love calling guys and being like,

Can I ask you a question about my current boyfriend? Like, but sure. You know, because then you try to give, and then here's the other thing too, I think. You end up giving information that's half ass sometimes. Because you end up.

I don't think that that's even fucking cool for somebody to do that to somebody that they were with it. You know, I've actually had that happen. I said look, I'm done helping you with your relationships that the moment we weren't in one so you figure out your own shit. I'm you're not putting me through that.

Right.

Yeah, it's difficult. It definitely is. I think that there's something to that. I think that's for everybody.

And it's not right to do to somebody. Like you don't rub shit in their face. You just don't. If you ever cared about them, don't be like that. Just don't. Don't go around them and fuck with them again. If you don't have an intention of being with them, leave them alone.

Agreed. Everybody.

I think guys have a way of, and I hate to say it, here's the thing, if you like somebody, if you have feelings for them, and you've told them you have feelings for them, I think any time after that, you can't be a real friend, because you're playing the game of what if.

Right.

Like, yeah, what if she breaks up with this guy? Then I'm right here. I'm here waiting and guys will wait if they like somebody guys will wait two years Just hoping that you break up with somebody And and that's a fact and if people tell you otherwise they're lying. I I know people who've done it So it because and I don't want to say that manner

Predatory because I don't think that that's what it is. They're just waiting their turn because they know Or they think they're a better guy Right And and that guy will date other people during that whole time And just be a friend Yeah waiting for that one You know the one phone call of you know, and I hate to say that

I'm gonna say it because I think that there's some truth to it, but I don't want to say again I don't think it's predatory per se but they will be the shoulder to cry on and Then hope that they'll be the dick to sit on No, but but I think that they have feelings I don't think people are waiting around for people that don't have feelings for they would bang them no matter what I don't think that's the

I don't want to be with somebody out of default.

Well, guys would bang most people that they're around no matter what.

They would bang most of their friends. That's just how we work. Yeah, well, what I'm saying though is I think that they, when I say that they would bang their friends, they would bang their friends that they want to be in a relationship with.

Yeah.

As long as it doesn't get messy. They may stop if it's gonna get messy with the chick. But...

Right?

I don't think that they were I'm saying that they would just do it to do it which I think some dudes would but because they don't think about putting their hand into a meat grinder because that's what you're doing if you sleep with what someone that is just your friend and you have absolutely no feelings for them and don't have any plans of being in a relationship don't sleep with somebody it's that is the

You

right?

It's like putting your hand in a meat grinder because it's never gonna work out and you're gonna lose your friend forever I Mean I'll tell you I did it Although I did I did have feelings for her But I we were friends for so long and we lived together and didn't sleep together

Wow.

We lived together for almost four years. And obviously years later and marriages and kids and blah, blah. We were hanging out together one night and had a few couple of drinks and then started talking about blah, blah, blah. The next thing you know, like we slept together. So. And then.

Previsted by the next morning me going to her and said listen, you know I don't know what we did or what we're doing but like don't fall in love with me Like it's not a good idea because I knew mentally where I was it was chasing somebody else So in my head now things ended up kind of progressing and and I thought blossomed into something like really good

Right.

And and could have gone somewhere But you know like we've talked on other podcasts. I can fuck up a relationship in a weekend, so So I ended up doing that but look like you said people are where they're supposed to be And and and unfortunately this person is now a stranger Like a serious stranger

Yeah, that's true too.

I text her on holidays and her birthday. So the last thing I heard from her, she's doing good. She said she's doing good in pretty much everywhere. And she, it's funny because she actually kind of made it. She made sure she said she was doing well relationship wise. Which I thought was kind of funny because I really kind of just wanted to go. I wasn't asking you about that. didn't.

Okay.

Good for you, but I wasn't, you know, if I don't, I don't throw the boomerang out to see what comes back. don't. I'll tell you right away if I'm like, if I'm asking if you're single or not, you'll know. Because I don't beat around the bush. Why? Like, I'm calling you to find out where this is, what's going on in your life. It's like, hey, you seen anybody? And they say, yeah, OK, cool. just seen where you're at and, you know.

You weren't fished in.

And then you have to turn on the the cool and be happy with them You know, cool, that's well but But again, then you have to turn the fucking stranger switch right back on to Which is a whole other, you know You just got to and it's it's not easy I don't want to say that I do it with like a smile on my face because I don't think that's true I mean, you know, you've seen me

Yeah.

have to do it with people and it's not something that I would say I'm proud to do, but I just think that it's best for everyone involved because if you, those little doors stay open for way too long and then people stay around forever and ever and ever ever waiting and then the next thing you know, you're the odd person out again. Like, okay, I just wasted years of my life.

Yeah.

you know being a friend to somebody who you know you were hoping the feelings would would escalate and and even that one this one it did escalate we did you know pop in and out of these really weird like we were friends 90 percent of the time and every blue moon would sleep together it which is an odd thing it's like just be up front if you if you're

You're interested, say it and be interested. And if you're not, say it and not. And and yes, it's going to suck that we won't talk anymore. That's it's the shitty part of being in relationships with people. But should I've gone on, you know, like I said, I've been on two or three dates with people that I thought were good and then never talked to them again either. Which is like the oddest thing, you're like, OK, that went well, but I guess not. But it's a it's a weird thing.

It's, and I think the older we get, not that it becomes easier, but it definitely is the first thing you do, I think.

Just go, okay, I gotta go.

Yeah, I think that

I don't know, somehow your heart hardens and you learn that you can live without people and then you when you have to you cut them off and and life just moves on and you learn how to deal with with their absence and then it becomes life will fill it up with something else and then there is no absence they're just gone and

That's just the way life is. There's been people in my life that I've loved to death and that's happened with them. And I didn't even realize I look back and I go, how in the hell did that happen? Like I don't even remember it because life will take you in a different direction. And you know, you just, I always think that you don't know what you're being spared.

by leaving that situation be completely. If, if they're still able to come in and there's that, that dissension, then it's always going to draw you back into more drama. So just leaving it alone and moving completely on is, is kind of a merciful way to treat yourself. If you think about it.

Right. No, that's that's very true. I was gonna say you're right. You're just having mercy on yourself. you

But... I'm sorry, go ahead.

Yeah. I remember when I first started dating my ex and he was having problems distancing himself from his ex. And, I said, you know, she was just doing things to, try to get his attention and to, it was rough. And,

I said, why don't you just pick up the phone and tell her this is that and this? And he said, look, that's not going to make things change. It's going to add fuel to the fire. If I leave it alone.

it'll burn itself out. Like I just have to leave it alone. I never understood that. I always was like, no, you got to say something. No, you got to do, but you know, over the years and, living with him and understanding him and knowing him, I get him now and I get where he was coming from. And it's amazing how I never thought about it. And most people don't, know, most people want to engage, but

Right. you

Again, I think it was merciful for her. I think it was merciful for him and it was merciful for me that that's the way he did things. But I think that if if if you still like want that person, you got to know that walking away is not going to keep them from you. Life will bring them back.

And that's when you know it's real. And if you sit in, if you sit in this trying to make things work, that just clearly isn't going to work. All you're going to do is feel bad.

Right.

Yeah, I do kind of agree with that. If things are meant to be, they'll always back around. You know, life has a very weird way of bringing people back into your life. know, and. Yeah, well, and here's the other thing, too, where. It also these relationships blossom very easily because you have.

They always come back around.

Mm-hmm, and it's easier than ever now

Yeah.

You don't have to go through that initial stage of like, what do you like to do? What's your favorite color? you know, that kind of thing where you've now lived a life of 10 years and you've lived. And now you're like, okay, so catch me up on the 10 years in between the last time we saw each other. And I'll tell you what mine are. And then we can now...

try to find out who we are, you know, as 40 year olds. You know what I mean? So, because those are the other things that I think are a bit weird about, you know, becoming strangers and then becoming people again, you know, friends, relationships, whatever. You realize that, you know, as much as you're still the same, because I think a lot of people are,

Yeah.

You are different people and you think differently and you feel differently. And here's the other thing that I think with something like that, you can end up being strangers again very quickly. Right. Where, you know, I've had friends come back into my life and then just disappear again. Like, and we would hang out for months and then just disappear.

Absolutely.

And this was like, you know, they would come to my house and hang out and just. Mm hmm. Yeah.

Well, you and I've done that to each other too. Like there'll be long times in between where we don't talk or see each other, but we could pop right back in and be just as close as we always were. That never changed. I feel like if you let go and just let things happen, you'll be where you want to be or where you need to be with whom you need to be. And not everybody's going to take that whole journey with you right next to you.

Right. you

Sometimes they're going to weave in and out and that's that's a good thing and that's growth and that's that's how you want life to be because if you always have the same people in the same positions, there's really no room for anything new to come through.

Right. That's true. 100 % true. What I want to start telling people now that like either friends that liked me in the past and something happened or other people that I had a relationship with, whatever. I'm sending everyone to marriage. Almost everyone that I've

and what's coming through may be way freakin' better.

That they've been with me in the interim and then went and got married. And I'm talking about within the last three years. Two people that I've had relations with through certain things then left and met somebody and got married. So I'm thinking now that I'm just a leapfrog. I'm the lily pad in between.

What do you mean?

what you had in your marriage. I'm just like the, boop, boop, boom.

You know what I've noticed over the years is like you come in and you help fix somebody's soul that's been really freaking broken and then once it's fixed they go and do what they got to do and I think that you need to quit fixing people and just let them be and wish them well and and just keep moving because you need to find somebody that's already healed.

And when you find that you're going to be in a great relationship and you're going to have a lot of fun. That's what I think.

Yeah, maybe, you know, I like tools though. I love tools. We were just talking to a friend of mine about that. Like, you know that like I've lived in an apartment probably much my whole time, my whole life. And then

You like tools to fix? No.

I had a condo for a while. I had the same condo with two different women, which is a whole I'm Not many not many guys can say that I Had a had a condo with my I had my condo with a girlfriend she left and then my ex my Girlfriend at the time bought it who became my wife and I had it with her as well Yeah, most people can't say that but here's the thing I've never had a tool like

you

That's true.

That's crazy.

I've always had tool bags, but I want a tool chest. want like, you know, one you put in a garage, but I need a garage for it. So I was keep telling myself if if my kid moves out, I'm going to turn his room into like I'm going to buy a tool thing just so can have one because I want to be that one guy that says I have a cool little tool, a little tool rack that I can put all my tools in. Like a stand up one, like a big one. Yeah.

even I have one.

Yeah, yeah and it rolls and it's got the really good wheels on them the casters and yeah No, my dad has garage Um But mine is pink it's like a hot pink color. Yeah, it's very girly. I love it

Yeah, I want one of that but you have a garage You you what do mean you live there if you have a garage very nice Yeah, I found I found what I want it's on I found one on Amazon I want I just need to I should probably buy it now while it's decently cheap and just

You should.

Put it I there's a spot in my room. I could actually put it. I just wanted to keep it here, Yeah, cuz I I have a I have a shit ton of tools No, no, it's not because I'm fixing things and I'm a fixer. So you always have to have a bunch of cool tools. So look, I mean, yes, that's probably true. I'm I communicate well So and for some reason people like to talk to my dumb face and tell me their problems. So I just think I end up

That's funny. I'm totally off-subject.

You know, I end up talking with people and even if there is feelings, you're probably right, I do end up kind of making sure people are okay and setting them off. And maybe I did.

you know what I say? We need to start going, fuck this, move on and just like start slapping them on the ass as we're pushing them out the door. Like I do think that at some point that's exactly what needs to be done to. That's the most merciful thing is say, no, keep moving. Like, and, I'm at a point where I'm just doing that. I'm like, yeah, I'm good. I'll see you later. Like, you know, they're going to come back. They all come back. If they're supposed to come back, they're going to come back. So just

Yeah.

move them along. Fuck. That's what I'm, I'm doing. I'm just like, nah, move along. Nope. It didn't. If you didn't pick me the first time, I sure as hell ain't waiting for the second time.

I mean, yeah, we talked about that, I think, like a couple shows ago that I agree with that within a certain time period. You know, like if you come back within like two or three years, yeah, fuck you. Because, but if we're talking like, you know.

Yeah, I get you.

20 years. It's like, you're not the same person anymore. So there is a little leeway to that. But you're right. I think within a few years, that's a rough one. You need to come back in a couple more years so we can see what happens. Because you haven't changed enough or you haven't grown enough or you haven't lived enough, whatever.

Right.

That's that's true. I'll give you that.

Exactly.

sticking your thing here of how you want to feel. But like I think that in our age group, you know, once you go away and get married and raise kids and then come back, you're different. You're just a different human being because life is now giving you a bit more armor. Right?

Right?

I think marriage gives you armor. also makes you, it'll make you rough though. It'll also make you a little less, like maybe make you not fight as much anymore. It'll make you go, hmm. Which is, know, whatever. It'll make.

Yeah.

right?

other people into strangers very quickly is what that'll do. Your armor will do that to somebody. If we want to cap this show off with that, it's that is what will happen for sure. All righty, well, that is all. Check us out on social media. We're on every podcasting platform you can think of. And it's an opinion show. Don't get it twisted. Keep coming back every Wednesday. I'm Rob. That's Tina. We'll see in a week. Bye.

Absolutely.

See ya.