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Unshakable Insights: Key Takeaways For Overcoming Fear with Adam Jablin
Episode 77 • 21st June 2024 • Own Your Calendar: Aligning Your Business & Life Goals • Stephen Box
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In the final part of our 5-part series with Adam Jablin, Stephen Box reflects on the key insights and takeaways from the week. Don't miss this wrap-up episode that ties together all the transformative lessons from the series.

Connect with Adam: https://adamjablin.com/

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Do you find yourself repeating the same old patterns,

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battling with addiction, or sabotaging your own success?

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If so, you're not alone.

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And for a lot of people, the reason they are struggling with these things

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is because there is an underlying fear.

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Sometimes this is a fear of change, sometimes it is a fear of failure, and

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sometimes it is even a fear of success.

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And the thing is It may not even be a fear that you're fully aware of.

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But what if you could break free from those chains?

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And overcome those fears that are holding you back and step

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into your full potential.

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that is exactly what we have been talking about all week long with our special

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guest Adam Jablin from The Hero Project.

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And on this episode, I'm going to give you my Unshakable insights and key takeaways

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from the week that we just had with Adam.

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if you have tuned in.

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Every single episode this week, first and foremost.

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Thank you so much.

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Really appreciate that.

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Today's going to just be a recap for you.

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Maybe help you remember some of those things that you might have

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forgotten over the course of the week.

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And if you haven't been able to check out any of the episodes, then today's

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going to help you to get caught up.

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And that's coming up next.

Intro:

The right habits can help you have it all.

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More time, better health, improved relationships, and less stress.

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But most people lack the tools to stick with those habits

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long enough to see results.

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That is about to change.

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Welcome to Unshakable Habits with your host, Stephen Box.

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It's time to take your habits from unsustainable to unshakable.

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Welcome back.

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This is episode number 77 of Unshakable Habits.

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I am your host, Stephen Box, and this week we are talking all about Fear, and

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specifically we're talking about the fear of change, the fear of failure, and even

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the fear of success, and how that fear can keep you stuck in the same patterns.

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Stuck with the same addictions and continuously sabotaging your own success.

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This week we had a special guest, Adam Jablin from The Hero Project,

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who gave us a lot of great insights this week from his own personal

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experience of overcoming addiction.

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And today I'm going to give you my unshakable insights and my reflections.

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on the things that I took note of during my conversation with Adam this week.

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We kicked things off this week with our intro episode and Adam shared a

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little bit about his story of overcoming alcoholism and addiction and how really

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there was a lot of fear in that, right?

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This fear of changing, this fear of letting go of the old Adam, this fear of,

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Finding out our people find out who he was there was just and more really there was

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a lot of different concepts of fear that Adam talked about this week, and he really

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talked about this idea of the inner hero, and he says Everyone has an inner hero,

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but it's about recognizing it and then learning how to harness it and I really

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like This concept, because I think for a lot of us, we can, especially when we're

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in the grips of fear and there's a lot of uncertainty and a lot of anxiety and a lot

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of worry, we can feel a little helpless.

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And I love the fact that Adam really is saying look, we all have that inner hero.

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We all have that ability to.

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Do something to better our lives.

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We just have to recognize it as there and then we have to learn to harness it.

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Adam also talks about how overcoming addiction was one of the hardest

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battles that he ever faced, but that it taught him the value of

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resilience and the power of support.

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And I think this is such a huge thing because when we go through things,

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there tends to be one or two responses.

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Either it breaks us or it builds us.

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And I think for a lot of people, what it really comes down to

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is the power of that support.

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Because in my experience, the people who are the most resilient are the

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ones who have a support system.

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The ones who have people that can pick them up when they're down.

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So if you don't have a strong support system, definitely

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encourage you to take that step.

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I think that is definitely a fantastic point that he brings up there.

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And, just to be clear here, when we talk about a support system,

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That can be friends, it can be family, it can be professional help.

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It doesn't really matter.

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All that matters is that you're not trying to go through this alone.

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And, Adam really highlights this idea of finding your inner hero is not easy,

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but it's worth it because it leads to true freedom and self empowerment.

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It feels a little ironic to put these concepts together, right?

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Of, inner hero, but support system.

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And I always remind people, Hey, look, Even the Justice League and

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the Avengers teamed up, right?

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They supported one another.

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So even those two superheroes, as we're talking about inner heroes here, even

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those two superhero groups are better collectively than they are individually.

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After that, we shifted into talking about breaking through those

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mental barriers to personal growth.

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Really, we're talking here about the fear of change.

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For a lot of people, they may find themselves stuck in this cycle of,

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they want change, but then they're terrified to take the first step.

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And what ends up happening a lot of times is, We may double down on our

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current behaviors rather than getting outside of that comfort zone, because

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we convince ourselves it's easier to just stay where we are, right?

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It's not until pain of being in that place becomes so great That we

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feel like we have to change it and Adam makes a couple of really great

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points in this particular episode.

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so number one is he talks about this idea that stress, or not stress, excuse me,

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that fear primarily resides in the mind.

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In that the thoughts that you have an impact on your emotional state.

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And I talk a lot about this is not just related to fear, but to stress,

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to just your whole mindset, right?

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The way that you think affects the way that you feel and the way that you feel

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affects the way that you act, right?

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It's this idea of if you say you're someone who needs to lose some weight and

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you say, okay, I'm going to lose weight.

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I need to eat better or whatever, right?

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And so now you go to a party, and people are going to offer you food,

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you know there's going to be food there, you know there's going to be

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an expectation that you eat it, and somebody comes up, oh, you're not having

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any cake, or you're not going to get another plate, or whatever, right?

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And it's so easy to just ah, no, I'm trying to lose weight.

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But after a while, you start to hate to say that, or maybe

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you don't even get that out.

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Maybe that's what you want to say, but then you think twice

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about it because you're like, I don't want to be that person.

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And so you end up ultimately having cake or you hold out, you don't

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eat the cake, but then you feel self conscious because you wonder,

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what do people think about you?

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Versus if you have an identity as I'm someone who eats healthy, I'm

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someone who exercises regularly.

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Maybe you have a healthy relationship with food and you're

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not scared to eat a piece of cake.

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but if you choose not to eat the cake, it's okay.

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It's a choice.

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You're not worried about what other people think about it because it's a choice that

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you're making that's not based on fear or based on worrying about some outcome.

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It's part of your identity, when you have a shift in your mentality, when you

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stop seeing yourself as someone who's just trying to lose weight and you see

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yourself is someone who does the behaviors of a person who is healthy is a complete

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mindset shift and it changes the way you feel and the way that you behave.

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And that's really what Adam is talking about here.

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he also emphasizes that fear is really creating those false

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realities and the burdens.

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And I touched on that there just a little bit of you're worried about what are

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other people going to think about me?

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What's their opinions going to be?

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so often when we have a fear of change, it is really a fear of this unknown thing

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and we start to convince ourselves of what are other people going to think?

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What are the perceptions going to be?

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What's going to happen if I do this and I fail?

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And it's so much nicer and safer just to stay where you are and you already

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know what things are going to be like.

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Even if those things aren't great, a lot of times it can just

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be easier to just stay there.

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So I definitely want to just encourage you guys to think about that for a little bit.

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And one of the pieces of advice that Adam gave that I thought was so fantastic.

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like I said, during the week, one of the best pieces of advice

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I think anyone has ever given.

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It's this idea of not just starting small, which is a lot of times what I've

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taught people, but to dance with it, you don't have to commit to it, just

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dance with it, just a little bit, it's like exposure therapy, somebody's scared

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of snakes, they start maybe holding a little garden snake or something.

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And they get used to the idea of having a steak, but you don't

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have to go all in on it, right?

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If you think about skydiving and the idea of skydiving scares you, then just

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take the first step of, let me see, where is a skydiving place near me?

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Or maybe go do indoor skydiving.

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I've done that before.

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It's actually pretty fun.

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And just have some fun with it.

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Dance with it.

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See how it feels.

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You don't have to commit to it, but sometimes just taking that first step.

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is enough to help us overcome that fear.

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So that was the, the second episode that we did this week on Tuesday.

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Then on Wednesday, we moved into talking about overcoming the fear of success,

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which is something that a lot of people maybe don't, Think about, but it's very

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similar to the fear of change, right?

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And even the fear of failure there.

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There's a lot in common with these three fears, but they differ a little bit.

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And success really is about two things.

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Number one, it's about, or the fear of success.

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The fear of success, excuse me, is about two things.

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Number one, being afraid of the unknown.

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And number two, being afraid about increased expectations and

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responsibilities, and more specifically, our ability to handle them.

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And one of the big things that Adam points out in this episode is when we

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start worrying too much about the future.

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We're going to get caught up in those emotions that we were just talking about

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a minute ago, and he's a big advocate for being mindful, being present in the

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moment to not worry about that, one of the things that I talk about is the idea

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that when we live in the past, things that have already happened that we can't

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change, or when we live in the future, things that have not happened and that,

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May not even happen and that we don't even necessarily have much control over.

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When we spend all of our time in those two places, we are robbing

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ourselves of the present moment.

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And Adam takes that a step further here and says, That not only are you robbing

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yourself of the present moment, but you're creating fear in your life, and

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that fear has an emotional consequence, and that is what's going to hold you

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back, so you gotta let that fear go.

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And I love one of the things that Adam talks about with this one, which was

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You had to surrender everyday, right?

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You just, this idea that you are in control, that

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everything is just, whatever.

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you gotta let it go, man, right?

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and he says, I'm in the effort business.

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God's in the outcome business.

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And that's why he says I can just stay present because I don't

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have to worry about the future.

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I don't have to focus on the outcome and fret over the outcome because

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God is in the outcome business.

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He's just in the effort business.

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His job is to put in effort.

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An effort happens in the moment and that's why you got to be present in the moment.

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And he talks about this idea of he has to surrender every day, right?

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At the beginning of the day, beginning of his prayer, before his meditation,

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because he's human, he's wired like every other human, he wants

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to visualize, he wants to create, he wants the outcome that he wants.

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But he acknowledges God has taken him this far on his plan.

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So he has to surrender.

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Those goals and those dreams and those aspirations that he has

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to do God's will for his life.

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So that's to me just a great way of putting this right?

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It's Again, I'm gonna repeat it because it's so worth repeating.

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We are in the effort business.

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God is in the outcome business.

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I promise you if you get that concept, right

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And then of course we wrapped up the week with Adam yesterday by

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talking about turning failure into a superpower, otherwise known as

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Overcoming the fear of failure.

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Adam really brought it to me on this episode because he

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talks about a couple of things.

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Number one, failure is not the opposite of success.

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It's part of success.

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Adam said that he's never met anyone in his life who is super

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successful who has not had failure.

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It is a part of the process.

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And if you can learn to embrace failure.

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The failure as a personal tool.

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Oh man, growth is going to happen.

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I'm telling you right now.

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And he emphasizes the importance of learning from your mistakes, using

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them as opportunities for improvement.

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earlier I talked about how we don't want to live in the past,

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constantly reliving the mistakes that we made and things like that.

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But we do want to reflect upon them.

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We do want to learn from them.

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So it's not that we can't ever think about the past, we just

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don't want to dwell there.

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We don't want the past to constantly bring us back and

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hold us back from moving forward.

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And the other big thing Adam talked about is that resilience

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and persistence are key factors are turning that failure into a superpower.

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And I think this goes back to what we talked about at the

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beginning of this episode and really the beginning of the week.

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Which is this idea of resilience in support systems, right?

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That's the key because a lot of times we can't see the lesson, right?

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we miss it.

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We're looking back and we're seeing the emotional connection to the past

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and we miss the lessons that are in it.

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So sometimes having that support system, whether it's a really good friend or

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something that you pay for coaching, we It will help you to get those insights

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and those will be valuable for you.

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A couple other quotes that Adam had that I really just want

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to point out here real quick.

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Every time you fail, you have a chance to learn and grow.

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That's the real superpower.

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And resilience is the ability to bounce back from failure and keep moving.

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So a couple of really powerful things there.

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I asked Adam at the end of the episode to share a final thought.

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Just something that kind of encompasses the entire week.

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And here is what he says.

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To take note of your fears.

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Truly inventory them.

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Really look at what they are.

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Share with somebody that you trust, because when you do that, you cut

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it and learn to dance with it.

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Get exposure to it, right?

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And we talked earlier about that idea of exposure therapy and what the fear of

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snakes and kind of raise that up again.

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And you can do this as a process though, right?

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Don't think that you're just going to do this one time and that's going to be it.

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And you're going to be like, okay, cool.

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I'm good.

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You really have to.

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Keep pushing through, getting over fear, getting to your goals and dreams,

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building the body you want, building the business you want, building the

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marriage you want, it is all a process.

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Adam used the example of a Twilight episode, Twilight Zone episode where

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this guy's just given everything he thought he ever wanted and he

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ended up being miserable because, Everything was too perfect.

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And the reality is, none of us wake up one day and just have everything

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bestowed on us like he did in the episode.

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But if we did, what we would find is that we'd be miserable, that

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everything was just handed to us.

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And that is because we are actually designed to go through

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trials and tribulations.

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We are designed to go through struggles.

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It is how we grow, it is how we learn.

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learn to dance and enjoy the process.

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Was the final piece of advice that Adam left us with this week.

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And honestly, I think it's perfect.

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I'm just gonna leave it at that.

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If you enjoyed our interview series with Adam Jablon this week, make sure

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you head on over to Apple or Spotify, leave us a review on the podcast.

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Also, if you have a particular topic that you would like to hear about, feel free to

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head over to Instagram and send me a DM.

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At Unshakable Habits is my handle.

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I would love to hear what you guys are interested in learning more about.

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And next week, we're going to be talking about something that was an absolute life

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changer for me, and that was Routines.

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I'm going to make a slight change to the formatting here, instead

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of doing 5 episodes, we're just going to do 3 episodes next week.

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So make sure that you tune in next week, and we're going to be talking

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all about those routines and the impact they can have on your life.

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And with that guys, as always, I remind you that while none of us are born

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unshakable, we can all become unshakable.

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