There are many distractions that we face in this world that often outnumber us. What we choose to identify ourselves with is central to the beliefs, aspirations, and goals that we set for ourselves to achieve what we set out in our lives. In this episode, we will work on a basic plan to help jumpstart your new path forward to navigate away from challenging and distracting thoughts that surround you, and help to shape a consistent pattern of success in your life. Not only will it shape your identity, but help you to adapt in this changing world!

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Intro/Outro By: Michael Dugan, Podcast Host: Voice4Chefs

Welcome to the podcast where relationships, confidence, and

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determination all converge into

an amazing, heartfelt experience.

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This is Speaking From The Heart.

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Joshua: Welcome back to episode number

101 of Speaking from the Heart, and

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before I go any further, I want to

thank you so much from the bottom of

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my heart for allowing me to be with

you through 100 episodes and counting.

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It has been not only a shower of love and

support from many of my listeners like

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you, but it's been a humbling experience

to continue on this journey doing this

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podcast, and I want to thank all of

you for being part of that celebration,

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and if you didn't get a chance, take a

listen to the special 100th episode that

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just aired not all that long ago, but

today It's about finding our identity,

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now that we're past those 100 episodes,

and getting ready to face that ever

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changing world, because it's time.

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It's time to re-look at everything

that we've been doing up to this

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point, and find the things that help

identify who we are at its core,

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because in this world, we have many

different distractions that we face.

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They often outnumber us,

in more ways than one.

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Not only do we choose who we identify

what we are in terms of not only our

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skill sets and our knowledge, but it's

really at the core, what we believe in,

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what we're aspiring to become, and what

we ultimately want to achieve as a whole.

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I would have never thought that I

would be able to achieve over a hundred

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episodes if it wasn't for the undying

support of you, the listeners, but also

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I have to look at the fact that it was

the commitment from me of what was a 90

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day experiment, starting this podcast,

turned into something much more for me,

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you, and for the many others that will

continue to impact, but if you don't know

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what that identity is, and if you haven't

even set out for yourself, what that

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would look like, you're going to have a

lot of problems trying to figure out how

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to adapt in this ever changing world.

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If you're not working on those things that

are supposed to help you pave that path

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forward, you will always have difficulty

adapting and changing in this ever

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changing world, and finally, if you have

those thoughts, those distractions, and

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those things that are uncertain as to what

you should be actually doing, plaguing

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your life time and time again, you will

never be able to adapt, let alone be able

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to evolve in this ever changing world,

so with all those things said, today's

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episode is really about exploring not

only those consistent things that we love

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doing in our life, but actually trying to

find the things that we love in all the

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right places, but it all starts with us.

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What is that identity?

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What is it that we're

actually trying to achieve?

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What is it that we really want to

desire to have at the end of the day?

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Is it love?

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Is it money?

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Is it purpose?

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The purpose is really what I want

to focus on today, because the other

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two things, love and money, are just

byproducts of the overall things that

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you are working on in your own life.

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If we think about it, the ways in

which we're able to jumpstart our

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careers, our paths moving forward,

really start from what is our purpose.

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What are the things that allow

us to drive into work every day,

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might lead our business for that

matter, or even the things that

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we take care of with our children?

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Those are the things that

are helping us to grow.

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To keep moving forward.

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To push away those deep, dark, disgusting

feelings that sometimes get in our own

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way, which we've already talked about in

a very coarse language episode way before

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we got to this point, but with those

things in mind, have you ever written down

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what you truly are leading in this world?

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Companies do that all the time.

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They always are reinventing themselves

and the ways in which they're able

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to serve that purpose, and yeah, the

same purpose might be always the same.

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McDonald's, for example, is always

going to be providing you that perfect

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type of cheeseburger, that perfect

type of hamburger and french fry, that

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you might enjoy and even consume on a

daily basis, and yes, there are people

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that consume Big Macs on a daily basis.

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Ever heard of Donald Gorske, the gentleman

that actually goes to the McDonald's every

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single day and has at least two Big Macs?

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Two of them!?

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There are people that are really religious

about having their Big Macs, and maybe

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that is what they want to do to lead that

purpose driven life, but companies like

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McDonald's can provide that satisfaction.

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How about Nike?

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I know I'm wearing a pair

of those shoes all the time.

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Nike, just do it.

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Absolutely, I will just do it, as long

as I put on my shoes, and be able to walk

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out the door and conquer the world with

whatever is set forth as the aspirations

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that I want to achieve, but I need to

have my pair of sneakers on, but yet,

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at the same time, those taglines and

those items that we think about all

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come from a mission, a vision, even a

value, or values for that matter, that

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relate to their underpinning of why

they're in business in the first place.

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Heck, look at me.

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The owner of Speaking Voice, LLC, the

business that I started as a result of

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even this podcast existing in the first

place, has its own mission and has its own

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values in order to keep on moving forward.

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Our mission, to not only have that

voice in this ever changing world, but

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our values, relationships, confidence,

determination, all help to converge into

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not only this podcast, but also into what

my clients work on, on a day to day basis.

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It's about overcoming those obstacles,

which is what my purpose is as part of

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this business, but even I, Joshua Smith,

your podcast host, has a different type

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of purpose that although aligns with

the business, because I'm the owner

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of it, but I also have other things

that I have that I enjoy the most.

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I love working on myself.

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I love reading.

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I love hiking.

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I love being able to learn

new things, explore new

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opportunities; be able to travel.

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All these different things are

different types of purposes, but they

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all have a singular idea in mind.

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That idea is that I want to be able to

continue to foster that growth and that

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sustainability in my life so that I will

never fall into the hole that I fell

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into over four years ago now, but, even

with those things said, finding that

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identity, especially for people that

are not thinking about it on a day to

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day basis, might be really intimidated

by having a mission, a vision, or even

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values for that matter, but if you really

think about it, if you start with the

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values, the mission and the vision of your

whole life will be written out for you to

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consume, will allow you to share it with

others, and will allow you to be able to

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connect with other people where you might

have never been able to connect before.

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Now, why is that all important?

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I think that people, especially

nowadays, go through life without

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having that purpose in mind.

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That purpose keeps changing all the

time because not only things happen

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for a reason, but the things that

consume us, that drive us away, that

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make us feel that we're inadequate.

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They're always moving in different ways.

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They become moving

targets for that matter.

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Being able to help us not be distracted,

to not be challenged, to make sure

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that we surround ourselves with that

consistent pattern of success in our

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life really means identifying what are

the values that we stand for, and those

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can be even emotions for that matter.

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If you haven't been doing

this, follow along with me.

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Get out a sheet of paper.

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Pause the episode and bring up a Word

document on your computer as you continue

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to listen to this, even get out your phone

and have me on speaker as we lay this out,

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because it's really important, especially

if you're not living in those affirmation

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statements, those things that are making

up who you are, on a day to day basis.

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Being able to wake up to them, or

even go to bed with them and reading

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them before you go to bed, or when

you get up and you actually read these

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statements, can help you stay on track.

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Think about this first.

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On the sheet of paper or on the document

that you have up, write down all the

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values that you represent yourself with.

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It could be that you're courageous.

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It could be that you are thoughtful.

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It could be that you're emotional, which

emotional in itself could be negative,

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but if you think about it, it could be

positive, and that's what we really want

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to have, which is positive affirmations

about who we are as not only our values,

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but also the principles that we stand by.

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It could be even thinking about how you

are detail oriented, especially if you are

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a very analytical, data oriented person.

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Maybe you're creative.

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Maybe you are able to have art

that you can draw up, whether

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that's through a sketch, stick

figures, whatever the case might be.

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Write down all those different values

that whether you see them or other

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people see in you, write them down

so that you have them available for

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yourself to start figuring out who

you are as that value driven person.

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After you have those ideas of those

values down, start to formulate

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them into a sentence or two.

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Even if you have to write several

sentences to start out to narrow down

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to one to two sentences, that's what's

really important, but we want you

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to work on your mission statement.

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Now, a mission statement is usually short

and succinct in order for us to understand

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what is it that they're trying to achieve.

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What is it that they're in business for?

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For your situation, being an individual,

why are you here on this earth?

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What makes you purpose driven?

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If you can start to answer some of

those types of questions, you'll be

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able to write that easily in one to

two sentences, and even if you struggle

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with it, get an idea or two down,

and share it with someone that really

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knows you and understands you very

well, so that they can affirm whether

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you are on the right track or not.

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Finally, that vision statement.

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Vision statements are: where

can I see myself in the future?

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You can define it whether

that's for 5 years, 10 years, 20

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years, whatever that number is.

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It could be even a year from now.

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Write down that vision statement

as to what is it that you want to

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achieve, and no more than one to two

sentences as well, so if you have

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to write a large vision statement of

where you need to be, start to narrow

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down to the core as to what you're

actually trying to be down the road.

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Now, you have your values, you have

your mission, and you have your vision.

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That is your identity.

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Or is it?

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I have done this exercise so many

times in my life, especially as I was

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reinventing myself four years ago.

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Now, I didn't write that down at the

time, and I really kicked myself because

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I should've, but as I've gotten older, and

more wiser for that matter, I have started

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to contemplate what would it look like

to track this, because it could be, as of

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today in 2024, that I am thinking this,

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different perception, and it would be

nice to see where that has changed from

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where it was to where it is in the future.

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That helps to show what kind of progress

you've made, along with holding yourself

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accountable for all the things that

often change when it comes to evolving

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and to growing, or in some cases, maybe

not feeling too good about yourself,

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and also how you're doing as a whole.

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I think that sometimes we think about

all these things as being really

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overwhelming, but being overwhelmed

with it is totally okay from the start.

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It is supposed to be very difficult

to find that identity, to find that

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purpose, and that means that sometimes

you might have to go on a long walk

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to figure out what is it that you feel

about yourself inside, so that you

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can radiate that to others, because

that's really what this is about.

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Being able to radiate yourself to others

because you know your identity, and

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you know that you have confidence in

that identity to keep moving forward;

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to not sacrifice the quality, or the

quantity, of what you provide to others.

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Finding your identity, especially when

this world changes, allows you to set in

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stone the important aspects that you will

never sway on, and even if you do sway on

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them, you at least have a benchmark that

you can look back to, so that you don't

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feel like you're neglecting yourself or

that progress that you're going to make.

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We are in a world in which finding

that identity sometimes means

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mixing ourselves with politics.

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Maybe mixing ourselves with religion.

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Maybe mixing ourselves with something

that is really toxic that maybe we

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shouldn't be doing: drugs, alcohol,

sex, whatever those things are.

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We have to figure out what are

the things that will allow us

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to align with the universe.

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As some of my guests have even put

it, how do you take those teams,

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along with that energy patterns,

to help accumulate into what you

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can manifest as that identity too?

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All of us exhibit some sort of energy

level that if we don't take notice

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to what that energy level is, we will

struggle not only as somebody trying to

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work on a relationship, but also trying

to find the confidence and determination

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to keep going forward; to keep feeling

like you are somebody worth noting,

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but it isn't about knowing what other

people think of you, or your status.

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It's about what you feel inside,

and I tell my clients that it's so

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important to pay attention to the

energy that you have, but what is it

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that you are really trying to showcase?

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What is it that you're trying to do

to help create not only that life

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that you want to live, but that voice

that you're trying to have also?

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This world is a very tough place to live

in, and I can never underestimate the

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fact that for many of you, you take it

in stride with so many different things

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that you have going on, and probably the

last thing you're thinking is, "Why would

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I ever write something like this down?

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Why would I ever share something

like this with somebody else that

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would help me to identify and create

those best opportunities in my life?"

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Well, it all boils down to this.

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With all these distractions, we

can lose our way very easily.

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It reminds me so much of the poem

that was given to me by my therapist

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about, really, how our lives can

fall and then be picked back up.

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If you really think about it, in the

way in which how things happen for a

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reason, and so, to end this episode,

let me read to you a very important

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poem which is called An Autobiography

in Five Short Chapters by Portia Nelson.

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Chapter One I walk down the street.

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There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

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I fall in.

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I am lost.

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I am helpless.

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It isn't my fault.

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It takes forever to find a way out.

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Chapter Two I walk down the same street.

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There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

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I still don't see it.

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I fall in again.

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I can't believe I'm in the same place.

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It isn't my fault.

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It still takes a long time to get out.

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Chapter 3.

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I walk down the same street.

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There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

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I see it there.

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I still fall in.

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It's habit.

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It is my fault.

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I know where I am.

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I get out immediately.

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Chapter 4.

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I walk down the same street.

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There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

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I walk around it.

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Chapter 5.

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I walk down a different street.

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Do you want to be in chapters 1 through

3, or do you want to be maybe even Chapter

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4, or maybe you want to be Chapter 5?

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I think finding our identity sometimes

means that we fall in deep holes and we

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think that we can never get out, but if

you're like this person, who's able to

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find out what is going on and be able

to sideswipe it, maybe even just walk

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around it overall, I think they're living

the best version of their lives, and

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I think that they're figuring it out.

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It doesn't mean that you have to have

all the answers today, because even as

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this poem I just read to you even says,

it's about sometimes feeling that sense

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of helplessness, falling in that same

trap over and over again, and knowing

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that although you might be at fault,

you're still getting yourself back up,

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because if you want to really jumpstart

your plan, whether that is something as

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your goals or even your aspirations, it

all starts with what your purpose is, and

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leading a purpose driven life, especially

with a mission, vision, and values, not

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only will help you to adapt in this ever

changing world, but will help you create

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that pattern, that successful life that

you will lead, because they will believe

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in you, just as much as I've already

believed in you since the very beginning.

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Your identity means so much more than

you might never, ever realize until now.

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I can't wait to see some of what your

goals are because you have worked

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on your identity, and your identity

is worth more than what money,

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or even love, could ever assign.

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Thanks for listening to episode

number 101 of Speaking from the

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Heart, and I look forward to

hearing from your heart very soon.

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Outro: Thanks for listening.

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For more information about our podcast

and future shows, search for Speaking From

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The Heart to subscribe and be notified

wherever you listen to your podcasts.

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Visit us at www.yourspeakingvoice.biz

for more information about potential

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services that can help you create

the best version of yourself.

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See you next time.