Let’s dive right into it! Today, we’re tackling something that really gets under our skin: those oh-so-helpful comments people throw at us singles. You know the ones I mean—“You’re too picky,” or “It’ll happen when you least expect it.” Seriously, are those supposed to be comforting? I’m breaking down the annoying statements we’ve all heard and sharing some of my personal favorites (or least favorites, if we’re being honest). We’ll also chat about why these remarks can feel more like a slap than a hug and how they often come from the very people who should be cheering us on. So, grab your favorite snack, get comfy, and let’s dish about the things that make us roll our eyes and maybe even come up with some snappy comebacks together!

Other episodes mentioned in today's episode: https://allaboutbeingsingle.com/episode/what-if-i-hate-being-single/, https://allaboutbeingsingle.com/episode/how-to-make-being-single-work-for-you-life-love-lessons-ive-learned-while-being-single/

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The world of being single is often filled with unsolicited advice and well-meaning yet frustrating comments from friends, family, and even strangers. In this episode, we dive deep into those pesky phrases that have a habit of creeping into conversations whenever we mention our single status. You know the ones—"You're too picky," "It'll happen when you least expect it," and the ever-so-charming, "Don't worry, you're so pretty!" It's like a parade of well-intentioned, yet totally annoying statements that can make anyone feel like they need to defend their choices. I share some personal experiences while navigating the dating scene and how these comments often reflect more about the person saying them than about us. We tackle the underlying assumptions behind these phrases, exploring why they can feel dismissive or even condescending. By the end of the talk, we not only vent about these annoying remarks, but we also encourage each other to reclaim our narratives and stand firm against the societal pressures that come with being single. Let’s face it, being single is not a flaw, and it’s time we own it!

Takeaways:

• It's often frustrating to hear the same dismissive comments about being single, like 'You're too picky' or 'It'll happen when you least expect it.'
• Many people don't realize that their well-intentioned advice can come off as condescending or invalidating to those who are single.
• Finding a partner is a significant life decision, so it's perfectly okay to have high standards and be selective.
• We need to embrace our feelings about being single and not internalize the misleading notions that suggest there's something wrong with us.

What's something that you've heard about why you're single that irritates you? Hi. Welcome back. Or welcome, if you're new here. I'm Wioleta, your host. Thanks so much for being here. Let's kick off this episode.

I know we just recently did a miniseries on solo travel, so.

So I know I talked about, like, solo travel tips, different pros and cons of solo travel, different, you know, false truths that people believe about solo travel.

If you haven't listened to any of those episodes, I highly recommend them because I truly believe that you haven't lived fully if you've never been on a solo trip. So those are definitely especially good episodes to listen to if you've never solo traveled.

And if you have, maybe listen to the ones about solo travel tips, because maybe there might. You might get some hacks that you've. You haven't thought about.

So what I want to do is maybe get like a miniseries or a maxi series on things people say to us singles that can be irritating, that are dismissive, that might be subtly condescending, that might sound like they're being helpful, but you're really not sure if they're trying to be helpful or if they're just trying to say something basically mean about you.

You know, sometimes they might be said by people not really realizing that they might be coming off a certain way, but just basically all the things that if you've been single long enough, or even if you haven't been single long enough, even if you've just been single at certain points in your life, you probably have heard people say to you. So this one, this episode is just gonna get us going. Okay? So I'm gonna list a few things.

I'm going to list a few statements that I have heard while being single. You're too picky. That one never gets old. I hate that one. That one's my least favorite one. It'll happen when you least expect it.

You just need to put yourself out there more. Maybe you're intimidating. Have you tried the apps? Why are you still single? You're so pretty or you're so nice or you're so handsome.

Followed by why are you still single? I just worry about you. Don't you get lonely when you find your person? When you're in a relationship, you'll understand.

Marriage is so much work, but relationships are hard. I just want you to be happy. You're too desperate. A relationship will not solve all your problems. You'll miss all this alone time one day.

I wish I Had as much alone time as you do. My husband has a friend. Stop looking and it will happen. Maybe your standards are too high. Give him or her a chance. You never know what could happen.

Try dating someone who's not your type. You don't want to end up alone, do you? You don't realize how good you have it.

You don't have any real responsibilities yet I don't know how you do it. About modern dating, for example, do you notice anything?

All of these assume something is wrong with your perception of singleness, with their perception of singleness. Maybe about your feelings about being single or just with you. Like something's wrong with you, that that's why you're single.

And if you've heard something wild, that's not on this list. And I know there's other things that people have said. DM me, I would love to read it in another episode.

And again, we're gonna do a miniseries of doing a bunch of these.

But a hill I'll die on is that a lot of times these statements are used to shut us singles up and pretend like what and what we need doesn't make sense. It's definitely invalidation by. And a lot of times it's by the people who should help validate us and our needs and our wants.

You know, a lot of times it comes from our friends or family members.

And what I will never do again is I will never internalize any of these silly, ridiculous false statements that try to turn us into people who are somehow looked at as at fault for wanting connection from wanting a romantic relationship. Especially because it's a lot of times said by people who have all those things we so deeply crave and desire. And it's natural.

It's natural for us to crave and desire these things. So for note to self today, and again, it's a very short episode is be honest, which of these takes the cake for you?

And maybe also think about why, you know, which one of these irritates you the most or feeling feels just most dismissive. Or maybe one that you've heard the most. Personally, I know I've heard the all your standards are too high, you're too picky.

That's the one that I've definitely heard a lot about.

And I know that finding a partner or a future boyfriend, girlfriend, fiance, husband, wife, that's literally the most important decision you'll ever do in your life. So I'm gonna be as spicy as I need to be because that's the thing you should be picky about. But yeah, maybe.

Which one of these did you almost start actually believing?

Because I know at some point I've also almost started believing that hey, maybe it is a me problem, maybe I am too picky and then I would lower my standards and then always get fucked over by whoever I lowered my standards for. Never again am I doing that. So think about that. Jot it down.

Maybe voice note yourself or better yet go to all about being single.com and voice note us so I can put that up on a future episode because I'd love to hear your thoughts. Thoughts I'm gonna do a little dance because you know me, I love to dance.

And then when I come back I'll tell you which one of these irks me the most. And before we do that, if you haven't yet, please subscribe or follow the show. I really appreciate your support and thanks for listen. Okay, I'm back.

So my biggest one is that you're so picky or your standards are too high. And then my second favorite one I'm going to also mention this one is the whole relationships don't solve your problems.

It's like first of all they do solve some problems, okay, like money problems.

And also being in a relationship solves a huge other problem which is not having to listen to you mention these silly ass statements about being single to me. But yeah, I also know that a relationship isn't going to change my whole life and make everything different and better.

It is a different state of a life. So it is going to make a person's life different.

Obviously, if you like this episode, I do think you're probably going to enjoy either episode one or two.

So if you haven't listened to either one of those episodes, I list a lot of things that I've learned throughout all the 20 years of me being single perpetually and I think some of the disdain of the various cultural remarks that people mention to singles and shows in those episodes. So let's get down to the very last part of this.

The glow up come up with a good comeback to any one of these statements that coupled up people have said to you or you maybe have heard said to other singles, maybe just focus on at least one of these that like again really irks you. So one that you wrote down for your note to self. And then if you come up with a good comeback, I would love to see what you guys come up with.

So share with us by either dming me at all about being single on the Instagram page or just go to all about being Single.com and you can drop a voice memo there. I love to share these, either on my stories on Instagram or on another future episode.

As always, I want you to remember that even if you're late, you're right on time and I hope that this is your space, your era and your community. Thanks so much for listening and I will talk to you next Tuesday!