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Create Your ADHD Emotional Toolkit
Episode 9 • 28th February 2024 • ADHD Powerful Possibilities: New and Late Diagnosis & Beyond • ADHD Coach Katherine Sanders
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ADHD Coach Katherine Sanders ADHD Coach Katherine

Understanding your emotional regulation is one thing - how do you implement it?

In this episode we are going to look at two powerful frameworks for our emotional wellbeing - Emotional Intelligence and MENDSS

Let's pretend that all the shownotes I lovingly created weren't lost by the podcast hosting service and you can subscribe to get on the waiting list for the ADHD Emotional toolkit here - https://subscribepage.io/0kbm4L

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Roger de Witt - https://www.adhdcoachnyc.com/


Previous episodes 

ADHD, RSD and big feelings - emotions https://pod.fo/e/2181dd


ADHD & Stress - https://pod.fo/e/21ae56


ADHD Myths & their emotional impact - https://pod.fo/e/21d551


ADHD & brain changing power of Positive Emotion - https://pod.fo/e/21f78f


ADHD & Food; it’s not your willpower - https://pod.fo/e/205927


ADHD & Food: Navigating Meal Planning with Executive Function Strategies - https://pod.fo/e/2074e1


Dr Megan Anna Neff - Feelings Wheel - https://neurodivergentinsights.com/blog/the-feelings-wheel


Daniel Goleman - Emotional Intelligence

https://uk.bookshop.org/p/books/emotional-intelligence-25th-anniversary-edition-daniel-goleman/4903165?ean=9781526633620


Pause resources - https://landing.mailerlite.com/webforms/landing/u4w8i6


Dr Kathleen Nadeau - Still distracted after all these years https://uk.bookshop.org/p/books/still-distracted-after-all-these-years-help-and-support-for-older-adults-with-adhd-kathleen-nadeau/7059149?ean=9781472147882


VIA Character Strengths assessment - https://www.viacharacter.org/


Thruday visual planner and emotion tracker  - https://thruday.com/


Dr Kristen Neff - Self-Compassion guided audio and video - https://self-compassion.org/


Waiting list for Emotional toolkit: Sign up here




Clay JM, Baker KA, Mezabrovschi RD, Berti G, Shields GS, Slavich GM, Stafford LD, Parker MO. Mediated and moderated associations between cumulative lifetime stressor exposure, emotional dysregulation, impulsivity, and lifetime alcohol use: A cross-sectional scoping study of UK drinkers. J Psychiatr Res. 2023 Aug;164:140-149. doi: 10.1016/j.jpsychires.2023.06.020. Epub 2023 Jun 16. PMID: 37352810; PMCID: PMC10754206.



Frodl T, Stauber J, Schaaff N, Koutsouleris N, Scheuerecker J, Ewers M, Omerovic M, Opgen-Rhein M, Hampel H, Reiser M, Möller HJ, Meisenzahl E. Amygdala reduction in patients with ADHD compared with major depression and healthy volunteers. Acta Psychiatr Scand. 2010 Feb;121(2):111-8. doi: 10.1111/j.1600-0447.2009.01489.x. Epub 2009 Oct 30. PMID: 19878138.


Martz E, Weiner L, Weibel S. Identifying different patterns of emotion dysregulation in adult ADHD. Borderline Personal Disord Emot Dysregul. 2023 Sep 25;10(1):28. doi: 10.1186/s40479-023-00235-y. PMID: 37743484; PMCID: PMC10519076.


Nadeau, K. G. (2005).     ADHD and the executive functions: Issues in the diagnosis and treatment of adolescents and adults.     Harvard Review of Psychiatry, 13(6), 326-335. (https://doi.org/10.1080/10673220500363261)


Plessen KJ, Bansal R, Zhu H, Whiteman R, Amat J, Quackenbush GA, Martin L, Durkin K, Blair C, Royal J, Hugdahl K, Peterson BS. Hippocampus and amygdala morphology in attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder. Arch Gen Psychiatry. 2006 Jul;63(7):795-807. doi: 10.1001/archpsyc.63.7.795. PMID: 16818869; PMCID: PMC2367150.


Posner J, Nagel BJ, Maia TV, Mechling A, Oh M, Wang Z, Peterson BS. Abnormal amygdalar activation and connectivity in adolescents with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder. J Am Acad Child Adolesc Psychiatry. 2011 Aug;50(8):828-37.e3. doi: 10.1016/j.jaac.2011.05.010. PMID: 21784302; PMCID: PMC3155780.


Retz W, Stieglitz RD, Corbisiero S, Retz-Junginger P, Rösler M. Emotional dysregulation in adult ADHD: What is the empirical evidence? Expert Rev Neurother. 2012 Oct;12(10):1241-51. doi: 10.1586/ern.12.109. PMID: 23082740.


Rösler M, Retz W, Fischer R, Ose C, Alm B, Deckert J, Philipsen A, Herpertz S, Ammer R. Twenty-four-week treatment with extended release methylphenidate improves emotional symptoms in adult ADHD. World J Biol Psychiatry. 2010 Aug;11(5):709-18. doi: 10.3109/15622971003624197. PMID: 20353312.


Solanto, M. V., Abikoff, H., Sonuga-Barke, E., Schachar, R., Logan, G. D., Wigal, T., ... & Turkel, E. (2001).     The ecological validity of delay aversion and response inhibition as measures of impulsivity in AD/HD: A supplement to the NIMH multimodal treatment study of AD/HD.     Journal of Abnormal Child Psychology, 29(3), 215-228. (https://doi.org/10.1023/A:1010329714819)


Soler-Gutiérrez AM, Pérez-González JC, Mayas J. Evidence of emotion dysregulation as a core symptom of adult ADHD: A systematic review. PLoS One. 2023 Jan 6;18(1):e0280131. doi: 10.1371/journal.pone.0280131. PMID: 36608036; PMCID: PMC9821724.


Weibel S, Bicego F, Muller S, Martz E, Costache ME, Kraemer C, Bertschy G, Lopez R, Weiner L. Two Facets of Emotion Dysregulation Are Core Symptomatic Domains in Adult ADHD: Results from the SR-WRAADDS, a Broad Symptom Self-Report Questionnaire. J Atten Disord. 2022 Mar;26(5):767-778. doi: 10.1177/10870547211027647. Epub 2021 Jun 30. PMID: 34189990.


Zhang, J.N., Xiang, L.S., Shi, Y. et al. Normal pace walking is beneficial to young participants’ executive abilities. BMC Sports Sci Med Rehabil 14, 195 (2022). https://doi.org/10.1186/s13102-022-00587-y


ten Brinke LF, Bolandzadeh N, Nagamatsu LS, Hsu CL, Davis JC, Miran-Khan K, Liu-Ambrose T. Aerobic exercise increases hippocampal volume in older women with probable mild cognitive impairment: a 6-month randomised controlled trial. Br J Sports Med. 2015 Feb;49(4):248-54. doi: 10.1136/bjsports-2013-093184. Epub 2014 Apr 7. PMID: 24711660; PMCID: PMC4508129.


Working Bilaterally via Expressive Arts to Resolve Trauma

https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/arts-and-health/202101/working-bilaterally-expressive-arts-resolve-trauma?eml

Transcripts

Speaker:

What's up my friend.

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It is your host ADHD coach Catherine,

welcoming you back to ADHD.

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Powerful possibilities.

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This week, we are going to be

exploring the emotional toolkit.

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This is going to bring together

all the things we've been talking

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about from emotional dysregulation.

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To positive emotions too.

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The impact of chronic stress

on our bodies and remains.

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We're going to bring it all together.

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I'm going to share something

really powerful from Dr.

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Kathleen Nadeau, and we

are going to bring it.

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Down to what you need to

manage your life right now.

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I want to share something with you.

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There's a fantastic ADHD

coach called Roger Dewitt.

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He is so funny.

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So clever.

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So insightful.

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And he has a coaching truth.

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He says.

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We don't live in the world as it is.

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We live in the world of our thinking.

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I would actually take that a bit

further and say, we live in the world.

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Of our feeling.

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That creates our thoughts.

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The emotion can lead to our thoughts.

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If we don't address our emotions,

if we're trying to ignore them and

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we're just focusing on our thoughts.

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Then it's sometimes harder to

change what we're thinking.

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Because our feeling, our body is saying

I've got this big panicky feeling

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something really dangerous is happening.

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And if that's going on, your

body is going to think thoughts

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that are connected to danger.

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To bad things.

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And so.

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I love Rogers, quote.

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And I would say let's take it further.

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And include the world

of our emotions as well.

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Because until we addressed that.

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The world of our thoughts

is going to keep us.

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Trying to understand why we

are experiencing this emotional

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sensation in our body.

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And again, go back a few episodes

to the one where I talk about.

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The science of an emotion.

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And what's actually happening

when you experience it.

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The last four episodes have all been about

exploring the impact of emotions on ADHD.

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And vice-versa.

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So we began by talking about

what emotional dysregulation is.

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We also explore the neuroscience.

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Of emotions.

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What happens when we feel an emotion?

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Where does that come from?

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And if you want to go back and go deep

into all of this head back to the episode

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from the start of February 20, 24.

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We talked a bit about things like

emotional intelligence, which

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I'll discuss a bit more just now.

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And then we looked at the

power of positive emotion.

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Because on the one hand, we talk

a lot about stress and feeling

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stressed and chronic stresses,

undoubtedly bad for everybody.

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But the impact of positive

emotion is something that we don't

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spend enough time looking at.

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We want to feel better.

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So that's what this episode is all about.

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How to help you feel better.

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And bringing the tools together that

are accessible for you right now.

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None of this is off-limits.

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It's not being gate.

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kept to gatekeeper.

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However you pronounce it.

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There's no barrier.

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You choose one.

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And get started.

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My only request is that

you share this episode.

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That you save it for when you need

to come back, download the toolkit.

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It's going to be released

in a couple of days.

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And make sure you're

only choosing one thing.

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At a time to get started with, because

I know the temptation is to dive in.

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And try and transform your life.

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And then, oh my goodness.

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This is a bit overwhelming.

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So pick one thing.

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From the tool kit, and then you can let me

know how you get on in a couple of weeks.

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Let's quickly cover what's happening

with emotional dysregulation.

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We are generally experiencing what

used to be called amygdala hijack.

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That term is no longer, very popular.

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But basically our amygdala is a gatekeeper

to our brain and it experiences something

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in our external or internal environment.

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And it says, well, There's something

we need to respond to here.

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So you have a fight flight

freeze or fawn response.

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Which raises your cortisol.

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Raise your adrenaline gets

you ready to take action.

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And when that happens, you

generally find that your emotions.

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Are going to come forward and

your logical brain that says..

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I can safely ignore this.

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Is that.

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Part of your brain steps back because

your emotions and your amygdala.

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are.

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Intimately.

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Connected and they're very, very active.

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There was some evidence that says

people with ADHD have more reactive.

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Amygdalas and more

reactive, nervous systems.

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This could be a learned response.

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It may be something that's inherent in

our different biology, in our neurology

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something that is ingrained by the way.

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People respond to us and the

way we respond to the world.

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So when you were feeling

overwhelmed and your emotions are.

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out of all proportion to what you

need them to be in this situation.

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You're amygdala's doing

its best to keep you safe.

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That's what the response is about.

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And all you can do.

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Is grab these tools, implement

them slowly, one by one.

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Your emotional toolkit is not

about suppressing your emotions.

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It's not about trying to be

neuro-typical it's about feeling

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better for your own sake.

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The very first thing we have to do when

we're thinking about emotional toolkits.

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Is to practice self awareness.

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Quite often.

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We experienced some physically.

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And if we were maybe told that our

emotions weren't safe to experience.

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For whatever reason.

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We hang on to them in the form of

clenched jaws, tight shoulders,

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churning, stomachs, sweaty, palms,

and tense neck, aches and pains.

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If you're experiencing that kind of thing.

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Check-in and see, is this an emotion?

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What am I feeling?

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You might find, and I know

this is difficult for some

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people with autistic spectrum.

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And there's a research from Dr.

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Megan Neff who talks about emotional

awareness and things as well,

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which I will put a link to in

the show notes - shout out to Dr.

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Megan Neff.

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You might want to develop a vocabulary.

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A list of words about

what are you feeling?

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because angry and sad.

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I really broad brushes.

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And we might feel.

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Indignant.

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We might feel frustrated.

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We might feel really hurt.

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Emotionally hurt and

all of those can come.

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Can come under the broad

brush of anger, right?

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So spend a bit of time thinking about.

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What am I feeling?

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Can I be more specific than

big words, like angry and sad.

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And.

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And I'll include that

link in the show notes.

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So that's your first step.

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Make a note, What am I feeling?

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How does it show up in my body?

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And what's it telling

me, what's the message.

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So tool number one is write down.

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When you're experiencing an

emotion and give it a name.

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Because.

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If we don't practice being aware

of our emotions, we're not going

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to know what to do with them.

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And it might be that writing

isn't your strength so you might

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want to try making voice notes.

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There are apps that transcribe it.

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It's one of the reasons

I use slack sometimes.

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But there are other ways to do that.

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Once you've started to become more aware

of your emotions and what's going on.

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How can you explore that further?

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The first thing I'm going to share is

the emotional intelligence framework.

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And if you want to read about it,

go get the book by Daniel Goleman.

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And emotional intelligence gives you

the tools to recognize, understand.

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Manage and use our emotions.

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But in a positive way.

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So that we can learn

to relieve our stress.

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We can undo conflict.

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We can communicate more

effectively empathise with other

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people, but with a boundary.

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So we're not getting flooded.

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And because we have

ADHD, we're more likely.

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To experience emotional

dysregulation impulsivity.

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And that sense of rejection

sometimes in our social interactions.

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So emotional intelligence

builds up all of these areas.

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We might need a bit of extra support.

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And so when I talked about becoming

aware of your emotions, one of

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the key elements of emotional

intelligence is becoming self aware.

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And you might want to say,

okay, I'm aware of my emotions.

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And then the next step is to think,

okay, how's my ADHD affecting this..

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Is my reaction.

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Affected by my impulsivity is

affected by my challenges around

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time and forward planning.

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Is it connected to my social

skills or the sense of rejection.

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I sometimes experience when

other people don't get me or I

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feel that I'm being excluded.

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These are all connected with ADHD.

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And the reason that's important is

because it helps you to take a step away.

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From that overwhelming emotion.

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I say, oh, okay.

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Clue.

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This is an ADHD trait.

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And I'm feeling it in my body and my

heart, whatever you feel, your emotions.

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The second aspect of emotional

intelligence is really helpful.

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Is.

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Self regulation.

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Now -. Big broad brush.

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And obviously we can

drill down into this more.

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Basically, this is about managing our

reactions and turning them into responses.

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Very often we dive in it's

that impulsivity again.

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The diving in there, the reacting

can often get us into hot

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water or difficult situations.

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So in emotional intelligence.

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We think about.

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Adding a pause.

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How can we create a pause button and

I've got pause resources on my website.

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How can we learn to respond when

we're feeling frustrated and angry?

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Listen, nobody's going to get it right.

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100% of the time.

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But there are ways.

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To recognize that feeling.

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Give it a name I'm feeling frustrated.

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Normally when I feel frustrated I would

go buy a brownie or a coffee, or I would

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shout at somebody whatever your reaction

normally is that doesn't serve you.

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Think about what am I going to do instead,

but we can't do that unless we pause.

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And identify that emotion first.

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Then we need to add.

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better coping strategies that

are in line with our situation.

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Our longterm vision.

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Our goals for ourself and also.

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What we need in that moment.

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So things like adding a pause

button and then having a go-to.

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Tool and a few episodes back.

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I mentioned something called

the birthday cake breath where

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you breathe into your nose.

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Like you're inhaling the scent

of a lovely cake from the oven.

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I'm doing an inhale for you,

and then you breathe out.

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Because you're blowing out

your birthday cake candles.

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And that kind of in the moment tool,

is connected to mindfulness, but it's

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short swift and easy to hang on to.

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When you feel that.

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'grrrruuuugh', and your jaw is

gritted and, you know, you're

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feeling all the frustration.

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So.

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we've got Self-awareness.

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We've got self-regulation.

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And then we move on to motivation.

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emotional intelligence.

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Encourages us to use our

emotions for positive action.

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And with ADHD that's so important.

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People talk about it being an

interest driven nervous system.

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I think interest is good.

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But it's actually, the magic

happens when it's our passion.

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When it lines up with our

strengths, which you can get

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from the via character strengths.

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And then you bring in your interests.

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Then you maybe recruit some of

your values, some of the things

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that really get your motor going.

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Then.

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You've got a passion.

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And that is going to be something

that is almost effortless.

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And that is powered by emotion.

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So in your emotional toolkit, think about.

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Where's my motivation coming from.

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Do I know what my strengths are.

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Do I know what my values

and my passions are.

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How can I use that to drive me forward?

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And I'm much more fond of

the carrot than the stick.

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It's easier to get a donkey

to go towards a carrot than

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it is to beat it with a stick.

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And it's certainly much more fun.

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And I.

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Do not approve of animal cruelty.

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This is just an example, an analogy.

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And when you understand that you can

have something in your toolkit for

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when you're dealing with a job that

you don't particularly want to do.

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And you can name.

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Oh, how can I recruit one of my strengths?

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Where is this connected with my

long-term passion, with my goal.

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What I want to do in

life, who I want to be.

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And who you want to be.

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Is much easier to pursue than what you

want to do or what you want to have.

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The next step and your emotional

intelligence framework is empathy.

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I find that people have too

much empathy because we don't

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have very good boundaries.

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You're somebody who has too much

empathy, Your toolkit might want

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to include some boundary making.

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And finally with emotional intelligence,

there's a lot of focus on social skills.

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We've covered elements of that

before, but for your toolkit,

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I want you to think about.

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Where do I find social skills?

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Challenging.

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Do I need to change them.

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Is it a question of finding a different.

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Garden a different tribe.

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Or are my social interactions

difficult or draining because there's

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an element of me that is not being

nourished that are not listening to.

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Am I ignoring something that I

really need to do well, and that

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comes in to my next example.

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So that I feel good enough

to engage with other people.

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And I see this a lot with clients.

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People are working so hard.

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they're may be.

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In the earliest stages of starting

a business, they're may be working

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long hours and then they wonder why.

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The are socially so challenged.

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And it's because.

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Everything's going out.

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Nothing's coming in.

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Take a minute and.

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What do I need to do for myself?

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So that's the emotional

intelligence framework.

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And that gives you an overall view of

how we can use something like that.

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To explore emotions without feeling

overwhelmed, but the next thing I'm

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going to share with you is a game

changer and it's from the expert Dr.

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Kathleen Nadeau.

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Now the word expert is

thrown around a lot.

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I see people calling

themselves ADHD experts.

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After doing a 1220 hours

certificate online.

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Excuse me.

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Dr.

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Kathleen Nadeau is what they call the OG.

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The original.

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She is the goat, the greatest of all time.

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She's one of those.

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Academics who has gone from

her passion, her study.

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And taken it out into the world.

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Dr.

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Nadeau wrote a book called still

distracted after all these years.

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And it's something that I go

back to time and time again.

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In that book, she shares an

acronym for brain healthy habits.

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And I want to share it with you now.

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I think these are.

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Simple enough to remember.

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But powerful enough to

make a real difference.

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So let's go through each one of them.

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The acronym is called MENDSS and

each each of the letters stands for.

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A habit.

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So the first is mindfulness.

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The second is exercise.

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The third is nature.

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The fourth is diet.

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:

The fifth is sleep.

334

:

The sixth is social connection.

335

:

Let's begin with mindfulness and

she explains in the book, and

336

:

this is what started me on my own

mindfulness practice, which looks very

337

:

different to what you might imagine.

338

:

Mindfulness doesn't have to mean

we do long extended practices.

339

:

It can literally be being

mindful of the present moment.

340

:

Being really in it.

341

:

Present.

342

:

Connected.

343

:

Focusing on our senses,

focusing on our body.

344

:

On the place that we are,

the time that we are.

345

:

As humans, we always tend to think

in the future or the past, when

346

:

we are mindful humans, we are.

347

:

In the now.

348

:

So mindfulness is something that

you can build into your day.

349

:

What changes when we are

really present in that moment.

350

:

And we use the other tools that we've

talked about coming aware of our emotions.

351

:

And just accepting them.

352

:

How does that change things?

353

:

One of the things that really works

for mindfulness is creating that space.

354

:

And it's something that I experienced.

355

:

Through coaching and mindfulness.

356

:

I needed both of those and

then medication, but all

357

:

three of them together.

358

:

Allow me to create space in my thoughts.

359

:

And Dr.

360

:

Nadeau uses a quote, which

I will share with you.

361

:

It's attributed to Victor Frankl

362

:

and it reads.

363

:

Between stimulus and

response, there is space.

364

:

In that space.

365

:

Is our power to choose our response.

366

:

In our response.

367

:

Lies our growth.

368

:

And our freedom.

369

:

I'll read that again.

370

:

In our response lies our growth.

371

:

And our freedom.

372

:

If you've listened to a few of these

podcasts by now, you might be thinking.

373

:

Katherine always talks about exercise.

374

:

She always talks about mindfulness.

375

:

She talks about sleep.

376

:

There's a lot of really practical

down to earth strategies that I share

377

:

along with the ADHD information.

378

:

But the reason I provide all

of that is for exactly those

379

:

two reasons growth and freedom.

380

:

When we're able to live in a way that is.

381

:

In line with our physical and

mental needs with our emotional

382

:

needs, we experienced growth.

383

:

And when we have that,

we have true freedom.

384

:

And that's what we all want,

ultimately, one way or another,

385

:

whoever you define freedom.

386

:

And one of the ways to achieve

that is through mindfulness.

387

:

And that's because the space in between.

388

:

It's a present moment.

389

:

And when we practice mindfulness,

we inhabit the present moment.

390

:

The second part of MENDSS is exercise.

391

:

I talk about it all the time.

392

:

Walking for me is connected to freedom.

393

:

It takes you anywhere you want to go.

394

:

And it is.

395

:

A powerful regulatory exercise

quite often, if I've been having

396

:

trouble thinking something's through.

397

:

If I go for a walk and think about it.

398

:

I can come up with a solution.

399

:

You may also have experienced it.

400

:

It's easier to talk to

somebody when you're on a walk.

401

:

And there's evidence that

the pattern of our steps.

402

:

They left right left, right.

403

:

The rhythm and the cross body.

404

:

Action.

405

:

Actually helps us to

process and to think better.

406

:

And although when we think about

exercise in ADHD, we often think

407

:

of a aerobic exercise because

there's great evidence on.

408

:

The impact of that on our

prefrontal cortex on our attention.

409

:

There is some evidence that strength

training also has an impact on a

410

:

prefrontal lobes or pre-frontal cortex.

411

:

And the third element is nature.

412

:

Nature.

413

:

As much as you can get, as often as

you can get, especially if you're

414

:

feeling emotionally dysregulated.

415

:

If you are feeling tired.

416

:

And we all know what the impact

of fatigue and tiredness has

417

:

on our emotional regulation.

418

:

The one caveat I would give.

419

:

And this is also included in the book is.

420

:

Try not to be checking in.

421

:

With your connection to the OTT

world while you're having your break.

422

:

A lot of clients have told me,

oh, I go for a walk every day.

423

:

And what do you do in your walk?

424

:

I take a walk.

425

:

I take the dog.

426

:

And stick my headphones in

and I listened to a podcast.

427

:

And when we discuss how

restore that makes them feel.

428

:

So the answer is equivocal because

our brain is not disengaged.

429

:

Our brain is somewhere else.

430

:

Our body is enjoying the

greenery, the nature.

431

:

But our brain is still on work time.

432

:

Experiment for me, go for one, walk with

a podcast with your phone in your pocket.

433

:

And then go for another

walk without your podcast.

434

:

Take your phone.

435

:

If you want to, for safety.

436

:

But try not to do anything else

while you're out for a walk.

437

:

Compare the two and then let me know.

438

:

How does he feel?

439

:

The next one of course is diet and

nutrition are crucial for all humans.

440

:

All bodies needs.

441

:

Really good quality nutrition.

442

:

We can't always access

it in terms of economy.

443

:

Accessibility.

444

:

But with ADHD, we know that the

risks for our longterm health are

445

:

higher diabetes, heart disease.

446

:

The problems that come with that

impulsivity difficulty planning.

447

:

The not being hungry, all day

and being very hungry at night.

448

:

The evidence is that we struggle more.

449

:

To manage a healthy, balanced diet.

450

:

That doesn't mean one

extreme or the other.

451

:

But that balance is more difficult for us.

452

:

And yet.

453

:

It's crucial for your brain to

get the nutrition that you need.

454

:

And I would say that I recorded a

couple of episodes about food and ADHD.

455

:

way back we'll include links to them.

456

:

But the impulsivity.

457

:

The addictive tendency, the.

458

:

The complications of

eating disorders and ADHD.

459

:

Are not to be discounted.

460

:

And I know that some people find

with medication their, s hould we say

461

:

snack habit improves for many of us?

462

:

It doesn't.

463

:

Or it does temporarily

and then it wears off.

464

:

Please don't beat yourself up about this.

465

:

Please don't feel bad.

466

:

This is a known element of ADHD.

467

:

And standard advice.

468

:

Isn't just going to cut it for you.

469

:

There are some fantastic ADHD

informed nutritionists out there.

470

:

And if you have a look around, look for

people who are experienced, who are giving

471

:

you moderate advice who are accepting.

472

:

Compassionate.

473

:

And who are supportive.

474

:

I've got some resources are

nearly ready, all about.

475

:

Organizing meal planning,

how to include things.

476

:

When you have people with ARFID or

other restrictions in the family.

477

:

And I will include them very soon.

478

:

But for now.

479

:

Focus on making sure

you're getting the right.

480

:

Vitamins and minerals that you need.

481

:

See a nutritionist go to your doctor.

482

:

Make sure that your bloods are okay.

483

:

But don't beat yourself up about it.

484

:

The next element and the

MENDSS framework is sleep.

485

:

I love sleep.

486

:

But as a menopausal woman, it has not

been my friend for many years now.

487

:

And I don't want to underestimate how

difficult it is for us to get sleep.

488

:

Many people with ADHD rely on

melatonin because there are

489

:

neuro biological challenges to.

490

:

Getting to sleep, staying asleep.

491

:

And then of course, there's

the pattern that habit forms.

492

:

Whether we can't get to sleep in that

we know we're not going to get to sleep.

493

:

You get the picture.

494

:

But we know that sleep is crucial

for brain health and brain

495

:

health is crucial for improved

ADHD and emotional management.

496

:

But you can improve your sleep.

497

:

And one of the most simple

things you can do is.

498

:

I know you're going to hate me.

499

:

Leave the phone, outside your bedroom.

500

:

Make sleep as enticing

as it possibly can be.

501

:

We talk a lot about revenge,

procrastination, bedtime procrastination.

502

:

If you are not meeting a need during

the day for that time to just be,

503

:

hopefully is a mindfulness element.

504

:

We'll help you to be

present throughout the day.

505

:

So that occurs the less.

506

:

But at the end of the day, When

you're putting off, going to bed.

507

:

See, if you can pause and catch yourself.

508

:

What do I really need right now?

509

:

Do I need rest.

510

:

Do I need just to switch my brain

off and be for a little while.

511

:

And is scrolling through Tik TOK,

really going to do that for me.

512

:

And Dr.

513

:

Nadeau's is book still distracted after

all these years has a fantastic selection

514

:

of simple tools that you can bring in for

the sleep support, including my favorite

515

:

camomile tea and a really good book.

516

:

But make your bedtime as

attractive as it possibly can be.

517

:

Because we want to make the thing that

you are putting off more attractive than

518

:

this thing that you're doing right now.

519

:

That's a really simple

way to think about it.

520

:

How can you make it as lovely as possible?

521

:

Do you need fresh sheets?

522

:

Do you need nice jammies.

523

:

And finally social connections.

524

:

Social connections can be challenging

for many of us, especially if we

525

:

have experienced some rejection.

526

:

Could we maybe feel a bit.

527

:

Out of touch, we feel a bit awkward.

528

:

And so we isolate ourselves.

529

:

But human beings need social

connections and social connections.

530

:

And so many studies are shown

to be crucial for your longterm

531

:

emotional health and for ageing well.

532

:

I could go through.

533

:

That entire book and every single

thing in there is literally golden.

534

:

So if you don't have.

535

:

Still distracted after all

these years, please get it.

536

:

Please read it.

537

:

Maybe we could have a book group.

538

:

Would you like that?

539

:

We could have a book group.

540

:

To go through the book

together and discuss it.

541

:

I just think it's such a powerful

book for people of all ages.

542

:

But, over fifties are the fastest growing

group of people being diagnosed with ADHD.

543

:

And life is different for us, right?

544

:

Some of us are working.

545

:

Some of us have young

children or teenagers.

546

:

Some of us have grandchildren.

547

:

Some of us are retired.

548

:

And some of us.

549

:

I would say a large number of us.

550

:

Are starting you businesses.

551

:

If you're over 50 and you're starting

a new business and you have ADHD.

552

:

You are not alone.

553

:

You are part of a growing group.

554

:

Of Gen X, ADHD, late diagnosed people who

are somehow not quite ready to get the

555

:

slippers and the pipe and settled down.

556

:

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

557

:

But.

558

:

If that's you.

559

:

I really recommend this book.

560

:

I really recommend making sure

you get my emotional toolkit.

561

:

And stay connected to Team

bulb, all the rest of us.

562

:

And next week I get to share

a really special guest.

563

:

And I hope after discussing the book,

you know who that's going to be.

564

:

Now let's look at our toolkit and I'm

going to include a link in the show notes.

565

:

Where you can sign up for the wait list.

566

:

If the wait list.

567

:

Isn't there, there may be a direct link.

568

:

When I get things put together in a way

that pleases me because I'm offering

569

:

this something that makes me smile.

570

:

And I want you to smile

when you see it too.

571

:

So there will be different formats,

but you can either sign up to the

572

:

wait list or you can download it.

573

:

And.

574

:

The tools that we're

going to go through are.

575

:

I guess some people might

feel offensively simple.

576

:

But simple.

577

:

Isn't easy.

578

:

there's a fantastic.

579

:

Trainer and coach called, Susan

Niebergall, who always says,

580

:

it's simple, but it's not easy.

581

:

And that is basically my

mantra to these are simple.

582

:

That doesn't mean it's going to be easy,

but they are powerful when we use them.

583

:

So tool number one is name it to tame it.

584

:

I didn't invent.

585

:

This is quite common.

586

:

But when we're not aware of our emotions

who are not paying attention to.

587

:

What we're feeling.

588

:

And giving it a name, identifying it.

589

:

When we're not identifying our

emotions and naming them specifically.

590

:

Much Much harder to address them.

591

:

The second tool you want to look at.

592

:

It's something to track your emotions.

593

:

This is especially important.

594

:

If you have a hormonal cycle.

595

:

And the next four episodes are all

going to be about the impact of

596

:

hormones and ADHD on women and girls.

597

:

But if you're not tracking

your emotions, How do you know.

598

:

What you're experiencing.

599

:

And I say this because I know it's

difficult for me to have a long-term

600

:

view of what my emotional temperature is.

601

:

Am I permanently running hot.

602

:

Am I actually feeling quite blue.

603

:

I.

604

:

Somewhere in the middle, on my

balancing things out enough.

605

:

Unless I tracked them.

606

:

I can't see them.

607

:

And so you want to use a

tool that works for you.

608

:

For some people it's a

simple notebook or a diary.

609

:

Some people like Google

docs or spreadsheets, some

610

:

people like notion templates.

611

:

There is a fantastic app, which

I am playing with just now called

612

:

"Thruday" as in Thursday, but.

613

:

The wrong way round.

614

:

And the reason, and this

isn't an ad or anything.

615

:

Playing with it because what I love is

it combines two very powerful things.

616

:

For me.

617

:

One is a visual layout of my day ahead my

week, even so I can see where the time is.

618

:

I can block it.

619

:

And as big or small

amount as they need to.

620

:

But it also allows you to track your

emotions and at the moment it's quite

621

:

broad, but I know that is in development.

622

:

And then you can share it with somebody.

623

:

So it could be your partner.

624

:

It could be, your parents.

625

:

Parents.

626

:

Whoever is working with you, you

can share how you're feeling.

627

:

And I think that is incredibly powerful.

628

:

So that app is called

THruday -. And I will include

629

:

a link to it in the show notes.

630

:

So there's another way that

you can track your emotions.

631

:

And it has a bonus of being

able to plan out your day.

632

:

With any of these tools?

633

:

Accept that you are going

to get bored of them.

634

:

You might need to make them sparkly.

635

:

And.

636

:

Refresh them.

637

:

So don't worry if they suddenly

in quotes, stop working, just,

638

:

we need to cheat, shake things up

and get them interesting again.

639

:

The third tool that you want to have

in your emotional toolkit is some

640

:

form of mindfulness or meditation.

641

:

When you're thinking about meditation

and mindfulness, make sure that it's one

642

:

that allows you to stay in the moment.

643

:

And not dwell on things too much.

644

:

Practice being present.

645

:

But maybe use guided meditations

rather than things that allow your

646

:

mind to wander on its own too much.

647

:

We have a well-trodden path.

648

:

Sometimes it can take us

in the wrong direction.

649

:

So mindfulness meditations that

are narrated Kristin Neff, the

650

:

mindfulness The fierce self-compassion

mindfulness teacher has free.

651

:

Resources, which I will include a link to.

652

:

And you can get ones that are for

people with ADHD, and that will

653

:

include references to those as well.

654

:

The fourth tool is one that I

resisted for a long time, but is.

655

:

Scientifically proven to be effective.

656

:

Of course I resist it.

657

:

And that is the combination of

gratitude, journaling, and savoring.

658

:

These are both tools.

659

:

Tools from positive psychology.

660

:

Gratitude journaling can be as

complicated or as simple as you,

661

:

I sit down, I write three moments or

three things that I am grateful for

662

:

having experienced, or that I appreciated.

663

:

During the day.

664

:

And savoring is when I take time to

actually really love the moment that

665

:

I'm in the experience I'm having.

666

:

And I think how would I explain

this to say my coach or my

667

:

best friend who wasn't there?

668

:

Can I tell them what it looks

like, what it smells like?

669

:

I can hear.

670

:

I can feel.

671

:

And.

672

:

Obviously you don't need to

make it a formal exercise.

673

:

That just having that.

674

:

Oh, my goodness.

675

:

This moment, this experience is fabulous.

676

:

And tucking it away.

677

:

In your memory bank.

678

:

allows your positive emotions to build up.

679

:

And in the last episode we talked about.

680

:

The power of positive emotions over time.

681

:

To improve our emotional regulation

and our physical wellbeing as well.

682

:

The fifth tool you might want to include

his ear or emotional acuity resonance.

683

:

This is an idea.

684

:

That I am playing with and

sharing with you early on.

685

:

It's not fully formed,

but I love the idea.

686

:

That the sensitivity, many people

with ADHD have around emotions.

687

:

Can become one of our genuine strengths.

688

:

We can use it to improve

ourself understanding.

689

:

And then use that to improve

who we understand others.

690

:

But to develop this

emotional acuity resonance.

691

:

The thing that you could

begin to do just now.

692

:

Is active listening.

693

:

So active listening, isn't just

nodding your head and things.

694

:

You are completely focusing on the

person who you are listening to.

695

:

You're really taking the time and the

energy to understand what they're seeing.

696

:

What is behind the story, the

message that they're giving you.

697

:

And then respond.

698

:

With thought rather than just react.

699

:

An active listening.

700

:

Being really attentive makes

a huge difference to the

701

:

person you're listening to.

702

:

And.

703

:

It is for me, it's a form of mindfulness

because I am present in that moment.

704

:

100%.

705

:

And finally think about that Dr.

706

:

Nadeau MENDSS framework.

707

:

Where are you on each of these elements?

708

:

Is there one particular thing that

you're almost there with, but you

709

:

could do more of, is there something

you're completely neglecting, but

710

:

when you think back, goodness, I

felt really good when I did that.

711

:

How are you going to track those?

712

:

Again, Adapt as to your preferred

modality, is it a whiteboard

713

:

is a notebook is a an app.

714

:

Is it a scorecard on your calendar?

715

:

I have discovered.

716

:

Reward charts that people

used to use for kids.

717

:

They never worked for us.

718

:

And I know why now I should

probably talk about that sometime.

719

:

But I found these old reward stickers

and I thought, oh my goodness,

720

:

I could use that for myself.

721

:

So I'm doing that just now

giving myself a sticker.

722

:

Because I'm working on.

723

:

Getting to sleep early.

724

:

I'm giving myself time.

725

:

To do a little bit of

mindfulness every day

726

:

but think about.

727

:

How you can make your

interaction with that framework.

728

:

Meaningful and easy for you.

729

:

You can email me or leave a

comment or reply and let me know.

730

:

Are you a notebook person, an

app person, what works for you?

731

:

And again, Remember, we

need to keep it sparkly.

732

:

If it stops in quotes, working.

733

:

Just use something else.

734

:

There's no reward for being so

consistent that you stop doing something.

735

:

So I've created this emotional toolkit.

736

:

Which is mainly for people with ADHD,

but frankly The things that work for

737

:

ADHD works really well for most people.

738

:

So this toolkit it's my way of sharing

the things that I know will help you.

739

:

That have helped me and I continued

to work on and grow and develop.

740

:

The emotional toolkit is

my way of sharing with you.

741

:

All of the information that

I've gathered together.

742

:

And it's for you to play with.

743

:

Okay.

744

:

This isn't a prescription I'm not.

745

:

a doctor or a counselor, a therapist.

746

:

By hopes that you have found this month

journey through emotional dysregulation.

747

:

And neurobiology.

748

:

Positive emotions and the impact of

chronic stress, all of these things.

749

:

I hope it's been really helpful.

750

:

I think you've learned

something useful from it.

751

:

And I would love it.

752

:

If you could share with me or with

other people in the community.

753

:

What has changed for you?

754

:

What insight have you got?

755

:

You can either leave a comment.

756

:

Yeah.

757

:

And social media, you can

use a hashtag team bulb.

758

:

That's where we're hanging out.

759

:

And I want to.

760

:

Remind you that next week, we have a, my

very first and incredibly special guest.

761

:

So it Dr Kathleen Nadeau.

762

:

And we also have series looking

specifically at ADHD in women and

763

:

at different points in our life.

764

:

So everything from puberty

through to menopause and beyond.

765

:

Because we don't suddenly stop existing

when estrogen leaves the building.

766

:

And although women are a

mere 51% of the population.

767

:

There's going to be enough in there.

768

:

The other 49% of the population.

769

:

We'll also find it valuable.

770

:

Make sure that you have subscribed.

771

:

Share this episode, if you want other

people to know about the toolkit.

772

:

You can use these today, right?

773

:

Let me know which one are

you going to use today?

774

:

And then come back to keep going with me.

775

:

As we learn more about ADHD.

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And we keep looking at what is possible.

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With ADHD.

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I'm ADHD, coach Katherine.

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Thank you so much for

listening to this episode.

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Please share it.

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If it's been useful to you and I look

forward to you joining me next week.

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