In this episode, Annie Hanekom chats with Rachel about how we need to step out of the drama triangle to have a better and healthier relationship with our colleagues.
Episode Highlights
[04:28] Enneagram Type 2 or The Rescuer
- In its simplest form, an Enneagram is a profiling tool.
[06:09] The Rescuer in Its Truest Form
- Type 2s or The Rescuers are motivated by the need to feel accepted, loved and included.
[08:24] What Becomes Problematic in Being a Type 2
- Helping for too long might form resentment and impatience.
- Inherent in the term ‘The Rescuer’ is a sense of superiority for those who do the rescuing and inferiority to those who are being rescued.
[12:00] Understanding the Drama Triangle
- The whole drama triangle and sliding between the roles of rescuer, victim, and persecutor is a confusing slippery slope.
- Our behaviour is a reaction to the kind of role we assume or assigned to us.
[18:39] How to Recognise the Role You’re Taking
- Create pauses in your day-to-day schedule to give yourself some ‘me time’.
- You’re giving yourself a new sense of clarity.
[24:04] Pausing and Taking Control
- When we’re busy, we fall into the default of assuming these roles.
- When we find peace in our minds, we can take control of what’s taking place.
[27:36] Stepping Out of the Drama Triangle
- Acknowledge the role you’re assuming in the drama triangle.
- Look for other options and shift the roles.
[27:36] Taking the Coaching Approach
- You’re helping the person sort out their problems and not taking their problems as your own.
[33:27] Language and Shifting Roles
- We can change our roles for the better with the language that we use.
- Using power language can empower you and puts you in a position of choice.
[41:29] Shifting the Mindset in Tricky Situations
- Taking a pause will be helpful in tricky situations.
- Refrain from assessing and doing a deep reflection when we are unhappy because it won’t do well.
[45:19] Getting into That Coach Role
- They’ll form a habit of asking themselves about their options rather than taking the role of the victim.
[50:40] Annie’s Tips to Get Out of the Drama Triangle
- Acknowledge what you’re going through. Give yourself time to process things.
- Don’t beat yourself up.
- Watch your language.
- Before you give advice, ask the other person what they think.
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