If you've ever found yourself spiraling, panicking, or frozen in your business, you're not alone. It's a pattern I've not only experienced myself, but also see it time and time again with my clients: the urge to speed up and do more when business feels overwhelming or scary...when really, slowing down is what will actually gets you the results you want faster.

In this episode you'll learn:

• How to tell the difference between when to slow down and when to push through
• The biology behind why this works: the area of the brain that goes "offline" when you're dysregulated, and why you can't logic your way out of panic
• A step-by-step regulation process for those moments when you need to slow down to speed up
• How to figure out what your business actually needs (vs. what anxiety is telling you that you need)
• Practical, low-lift ways to get in front of the right people this summer

Mentioned in the episode:

Get your own CEO Cash Clarity Companion

Book a Deep Dive with me

Work with me 1:1

Yoga with Adriene on YouTube

Get your FREE copy of my Rooted & Thriving™ Momentum Map process to create your own seasonal sustainable business plan

If you're like most people I know, you want the things you want to happen in your business done like yesterday.

More clients, more money, a wider audience, more downloads, more likes, more shares, whatever.

But the truth is, many times the answer is actually to slow down, to speed up.

Stay with me here.

I promise you this is gonna be good.

This is something that comes up with so many of my private coaching clients.

And at first they're like, oh, I don't to hear that.

But afterwards they're always like, okay, you're right, this really helped.

So bear with me.

I'm going to break down where this happens and how to notice if it's a moment where we need to slow down to speed up, or if it's one of those moments where we actually need to be pushing through and doing the thing, why this works and why it's so important and how to do it, and some examples and real life examples of how to do this in your business so that you can get better results with less stress, overwhelm and just feeling like you're panicking.

All right, let's get to it.

Welcome back to the Both and Motherhood podcast.

I'm so glad you're here.

And I'm gonna try to keep this episode a little on the shorter side.

I know that the last couple have been quite long.

I am unashamedly expressive, but I understand that it's summer, you may not have a lot of time, so let's try and get to.

I'm gonna.

So I'm gonna try and get to the point.

Okay, so we're going to dive right in.

First thing I want to share is when this pops up and how to know if this is a moment or this is a thing where slowing down to speed up is actually going to help you.

So I found that this actually is the case a lot of the time.

And you'll know that this is the time if you are feeling super overwhelmed, panicky, anxious, like you're spiraling, like you're like, oh, my God, everything's falling apart.

This is never going to work.

I got to scrap all this stuff.

I got to do all this stuff, or I'm just never going to get everything out because I just don't have enough space and time.

And how the hell is that ever going to happen?

How is this ever going to work?

This is never going to work.

Like, if your brain is going down a spiral like that, that is the time.

That is the time, my love.

Okay?

In that moment, whether you know it or not, you are all up in your head and you are not at all in your body.

And we all get there.

Everybody I know at least does.

And.

But that's a signal that when we're all up in our head and not in our body, we're actually not being present.

And I'm gonna go over more in a.

In a moment of why this is important, why this works, and what is happening inside your brain.

But anytime you're feeling like that, that's an oh, okay.

Going back down to your body means slowing down.

So I'm all up in anxiety, living in the future.

What could happen, what I can't handle all the things.

This might be one of those times when Kim says, okay, let's slow down to speed up.

Now, if instead you are finding yourself freezing and avoiding doing something, like avoiding writing emails.

I just wrote an email to my list today about the fact that I had been avoiding it for apparently three months.

Hadn't written an email.

Rolling my eyes at myself here.

If you're not watching the video, maybe it's doing a post.

Maybe it's reaching out and asking somebody if they want to work with you.

Maybe it's recording something like this, a podcast, right?

Maybe writing an episode.

Maybe it's writing a blog post.

I don't know.

If you're finding yourself kind of sticking with the busy work and not doing the thing, that's also an invitation to slow down and just get curious.

But that's more likely that there's just some fear there.

And that invitation is not necessarily to speed up, but just to kind of like hold yourself through it or get support through the discomfort and do the thing that you're avoiding, because you're probably avoiding it because it's uncomfortable and scary, not because it's bad or not because it's wrong.

If you're ever unsure, come talk to me.

Okay.

Okay.

Now, number two, why this works, right?

When we are panicking, when we are spiraling, when we are all up in our head, that is a form of dysregulation.

Dysregulation is not always being angry or being really sad.

Sometimes it's being really anxious.

It's like when we're.

It's the opposite of being present, essentially.

And biologically speaking, when we're dysregulated, the frontal cortex, the front part of your brain that deals with logical thought, is basically offline.

It's like the survival pieces are online, and the, like, slower logical thinking part is not.

It just isn't, because it doesn't make sense.

You don't have to.

If you're in an emergency situation, which your brain thinks you are, you don't have time to sit and go, hmm, you know, what about this?

What about.

You just go on instinct, right?

The problem is when we are all anxious about something, like in our business, we're not literally in danger, but it feels like we are.

So you can't.

This is.

This is the same reason why if your toddler is having a tantrum, you can't logic with them.

You just can't.

Maybe not even your child, maybe your older kid or your partner or yourself.

When you are dysregulated of any sort, you.

That you cannot process logical thought.

You can't until you regulate and calm down.

So when we calm down and slow down to calm down, right, that part of our brain, the frontal cortex, comes back online and we can actually look at what's in front of us.

We're present in the moment.

Something that it has, I read somewhere, it's stuck with me.

And I've said it to several clients over the years.

They say, like, anxiety is a slight living in the future.

Our brain's stuck in the future.

Depression is us kind of stuck in the past.

And being present and grounded is like, in the now.

Like peace and presence and grounding.

That's us focusing on the present, what's in front of us.

So when we can slow down and slowing.

When we can slow down and slowing down is necessary to regulation.

We have all the parts of our brain online, and we can actually make some conscious, logical decisions, which in the end, actually saves you time.

Because when you stay in dysregulation and you're acting from dysregulation and panic, you're throwing spaghetti at the wall all over the place, and nothing is getting in anybody's mouth.

I know that's not really where the saying came from, but anyway, that's just how I see it.

Nothing's getting anywhere, and you're just making a fucking mess for yourself.

Right?

When I'm gonna roll with a spaghetti analogy there, when you can slow down and be like, oh, I've got one kid in front of me that needs to eat the spaghetti, and I don't want to fucking clean the walls.

I'm so bad at these.

I don't know.

I can slow down and just like, carefully put it on the fork, and then maybe not hand it to my kid or feed it to my kid, whatever.

Dumb analogy.

But hopefully you get the point.

Kid gets fed, we're less stressed because we don't have a whole big mess to clean up and we didn't have to also hold all of the things right.

Third piece here, how to actually do this.

So maybe you've recognized that this is a time when maybe slowing down to speed up would happen.

Slowing down to speed up would be helpful.

I see this a lot when it comes to marketing.

It's probably the biggest place that I see it.

I did this myself in my own business this morning.

I see it when it comes to finances between my own business and my clients businesses.

And this has been coming up with several clients lately, which means, of course, more of you need to hear about it.

Okay, say you're in one of those moments.

I've seen this happen the most often when it comes to marketing, sales and messaging and things coming back to like the success of your business, essentially.

So maybe it's the marketing piece feeling like nobody's liking my posts or nothing's working.

That kind of stuff kind of all comes down to sales and money, right?

Or maybe it's like a client paused or a client canceled or people are pausing for the summer or whatever and like, no, it's not enough.

I don't ever have enough.

Or maybe it's like, maybe I gotta keep going.

Maybe I gotta get another certification, I've gotta do another training before I can go sell this thing or figure out what I'm doing or say, you know, sell the thing.

Those are the things that come up the most often in my clients businesses.

And for me, even today I did it.

I found myself.

Thank you.

Perimenopause and anxiety and hormones all over the place spiraling, honestly, of like, I'm so, you know, feeling overwhelmed and I still struggle with this.

I catch it a lot faster than I used to, but I still struggle with this.

For me, it usually looks like I'm freezing and I'm like panicking a little bit of like, okay, I have this much time.

I only have this much time to get stuff done.

For me, it's usually these two days when my kids are with their dad.

I'm doing the life admin things, the chores, the things for myself, the socializing and the heavier work in my business and client calls and all the things.

So for me, this morning, for example, it was like, there are a bazillion things that I could be doing that I'm behind on.

Where do I start?

Where do I start?

What do I do?

I'm not going to have enough time to do it, that kind of thing.

And I've been doing this Enough times and for long enough that I know when my brain is going like that, that I'm like, okay, okay, let's slow down.

This is a slow down to speed up moment.

Okay, so here's how to do it.

First is recognizing it, right?

Second, slow, deep breath.

When I have gone through body scans with myself and my clients many times when people are all up in their head and anxious, like, they're literally feeling like tenseness in their shoulders or kind of like buzzing in their head, and they're really just either numb or not aware of anything kind of below the shoulders in their body.

And that's a sign that, yeah, we're dysregulated, right?

And everybody has described some version of feeling more solid, more relaxed, more heavy, like in a good way, from like the shoulders down when we can regulate and get present.

So taking a slow breath using any of your five senses or all of them will help you get into the present.

So for me, just taking, like closing my eyes and taking slow, deep breaths and feeling my body really kind of sink into presence helps.

For some people, it's smell.

It's another reason why when I'm particularly anxious, I will light, not light.

I will turn on the diffuser with some lavender essential oil in it.

For some people, it's like gently touching their thighs or their arms with their fingers just to kind of feel that.

You can do a little five senses exercise where you just take 30 seconds and get really quiet and think, okay, what am I seeing?

Like, see if you can notice something that you not like, okay, my computer's in front of me, but like, oh, the plant over there has more leaves than I thought than I remembered.

It's growing, you know, or, oh, try not to notice mess.

I mean, if you catch a mess, it's like, whatever, but like, that's probably going to get more dysregulated.

So see if you can notice, not something that has to get done, but something, just a little detail then you can think of.

Okay, what can I hear?

You can close your eyes for this if you'd like.

For example, right now I'm hearing my fan and my neighbors and my phone going off.

Then you can move into smell.

What do I smell?

I'm honestly a little stuffy, so I don't really smell anything right now.

But maybe you do if you've got something going on.

Maybe if you're drinking a cup of coffee, you can like really focus on the smell of it.

Or if there's a candle or a diffuser nearby, you can Focus on that smell for touch.

That can be the same thing.

You can.

That can be like what we talked about with like running your fingers along your arm or your leg, or maybe you have a weighted blanket that you put on yourself or a just soft pillow or something that you can touch and feel it.

Like the chair.

The texture of my chair is really interesting.

I'm feeling it right now and then getting curious about it.

And then there's taste.

So if you're eating or drinking something, that's perfect.

So again, if you're drinking a cup of coffee or some flavored water or eating a little something, take a few seconds to actually focus on what you are tasting.

If you're drinking a cup of coffee or tea, actually that can be several of these senses all at once.

Pick it up and you can feel the weight of the mug.

You can feel the warmth of the mug going through your hand.

If you bring it up to your mouth, you can smell the coffee or the tea.

And as you bring it into your mouth, you can taste it and feel the warmth.

And then you drink it and you can feel it going down your throat.

You can hear yourself drinking it.

I guess any of those things.

Whatever works for you.

I personally find yoga to be really, really helpful to get me out of my head and into my body.

So I mentioned in the last episode, I think this summer I've been doing a yoga video online, shout out to yoga with Adrienne.

She's amazing and free and I can do it from home.

So it's amazing.

At least a small video, probably doing 90% of the day.

Sometimes I've missed, but especially when I feel this way.

I'll do yoga and then do these kind of whatever regulation tools work is.

I'm feeling called to.

For me, it's almost always just slow, deep breaths and then the invitation is to lean out more energetically.

But you can actually physically do this too.

If it helps.

Like say you're at your desk or your computer and you're like leaning into it and really close to it.

Try and physically lean out.

If you are working alongside your kids this summer, that makes a lot of sense.

This might be something that needs to be done.

Maybe the slowing down is finding 30 minutes or an hour somewhere to go and be able to do it where you can slow down and use that frontal cortex in your brain.

It's really hard to do if your kids are like jumping around right next to you or like, mom, mom, look at this.

You can't.

You can't do both.

Like Our brains.

We can do a lot as mothers, we can do a lot of multitasking, but we're not very good at it.

And nobody is not like really heavy thought.

So slowing down might be like, okay, I need 30 minutes to myself.

So asking a partner to take over primary kid duty or if you've got a partner to take over primary kid duty or somebody to watch your kid, maybe you take yourself to a library or a coffee shop or another room in the house or something, you can go sit down and look at this because now is the time to really be stepping into the CEO role.

And sometimes you could do that alongside your kids and all the things.

And sometimes we need a little bit of quiet.

At least I do.

Maybe this is time to put your kids on some screens.

Like screens that you know that your kids will be self occupied with and that works for your family.

That's different for everybody.

For my family that tends to be TV or certain tablet things, not usually video games.

But everybody's different.

So we're going to lean out because what happens is we're too close to it, right?

Even if you do this for other people, you, this can like, it can be so easy.

I was talking to a new client about this the other day, a data client that you can so clearly see what needs to happen in a grounded from a grounded place with your clients.

And she was saying like, I don't know why I'm struggling so much for this for myself.

And I'm like, well, we're too close to it, right?

You're just too close to it.

So we lean out.

If it helps any you can think about if this was a friend's business, if this was a client's business, how would you handle it?

But it usually comes down to for me, looking at the data and information in front of me, right?

If it's any of those instances that I mentioned actually slowing down and looking at the actual information about the money in front of you.

If you don't have a way to do that, you need my CEO Cash Clarity Companion.

I'll put the link in the show notes, but getting clear on like what's actually in front of you so we can calm that part of your brain that is freaking out.

So we slow down, we lean out and we're going to ask what does my business need?

Not what do I need to do, right?

This can be really tricky when it's, you know, your personal brand so you are your business.

And there's a lot of overlap and leaky boundaries that can Happen.

Try and think about this as if you were running a business that was not from your home or your living room or your home office or next to your kids in the playroom or at the backyard or at the park or whatever.

How would you handle it if you were running a business outside of your home?

Sometimes that's easier to get in that headspace.

What does my business need?

Okay, so first to know that we need to look at the information.

We need to look at the data, right?

Because maybe you find, actually, I have more than enough money right now.

I've got clients that are signed on for the next several months or whatever.

Like, I'm actually okay through the summer, at least, you know, or whatever.

Because maybe this is coming up because it's summer and you have way less time than you usually do.

And.

Or you're just way more overstimulated.

And so maybe the data says, actually, my business just needs me to maintain and I'm doing enough and I can calm down and let it go.

I'm doing a good job.

Maybe it's like, okay, I. I do need to sell another couple of spots because I need to be able to pay my bills, not because I need to keep up with anybody else or I need to show somebody that I'm good enough or whatever.

That never works.

Maybe it's like, okay, I just.

I need to sign another client.

What usually happens is our brain is telling us we need to have these.

This big audience, have to have double our email list.

We have to have people engaging with stuff.

We have to be putting content out there all the time.

And what we really actually need is a client or two.

And so slowing down because all of that stuff may or may not lead to a client.

Sometimes it does, but not necessarily.

Not necessarily.

I have seen many people with very large followings that do not have clients or have very little clients, and many people who have busy businesses and lots of clients and like, virtually no social media stuff or like inconsistent content.

So one does not necessarily lead to the other.

So if you find, okay, I need a client, I need two clients, I need five, whatever.

Like, what type of client, right, do you need?

It depends on what you're selling in your business.

Do you, if any.

And then what's your capacity?

This is the shortened version of what we talked about last episode and episode 32 about planning your summer.

In the momentum map, we're now in July, so we've got probably almost another two months of summer vacation, right?

Maybe six weeks, depending on where you're at.

In the country.

What capacity do you actually have?

Because remember, you cannot be where I see so many people get stuck.

This came up on a private coaching call with a client this week, and I see it all the time, is that we unintentionally are trying to be two full time people in one person's life and time allotment.

We're trying to work like we don't have kids and parent like we don't have a job or a business that we love or even if you don't love it, you still have work, but I hope you do.

If you don't love it, come talk to me.

It just, you can't, right?

So I be willing to bet if you're here that you want to be enjoying summer with your kids on some level.

So.

All right, I, even if it's just like acknowledging that, okay, I am a cycle breaking mom who is essentially a full time stay at home mom, but also with a passion and a business, so I cannot do all the things that somebody with a large team or somebody with a, with no kids or full time childcare or whatever can do.

That's fine.

That's not less than.

It's just different, right?

Maybe you're like, I'm so burnt out and overwhelmed from all the overstimulation of the summer that like I'm having a hard time creating.

Or maybe it's that something heavy is going on in your family right now and you're like, I can't create.

So like, cool.

That's not cool that that's not, that's going on in your family.

But cool, like let's just accept it for what is, right?

So if that's the case, if you're in point A where you're like, okay, I just have a lot less time and capacity.

So what is actually going to move the needle forward, right?

What is actually going to work that will take less time for me, probably not doing more content.

Honestly, it, it depends on the situation and where you're at in your business and what your business is.

But essentially you need to talk to more people, but it doesn't have to be to the masses, right?

That might be just talking to your current clients if you've got them and saying, hey, I've got a spot open.

And maybe you offer them a referral bonus that can be in an email or on whatever messaging thing you use.

Maybe it's.

If you're newer in business, maybe it's reaching out to all the contacts that you've made, any friends that you have in irl, in real life or in the online space, and be like, hey, I'm looking for.

I've got a couple of spaces for a client.

This is what I do, and this is who I'm looking for.

Like, if you know anybody, hook us up.

You can also offer a referral bonus if you'd like.

Maybe it's reaching out to past clients, depending on where you're at in your business, and being like, hey, I've got a spot open if any of you want to come back.

Or if you know anybody, hook us up.

Right?

Sometimes it gets to be that easy.

It does.

And.

Or maybe you're like, okay, maybe you don't have that network yet, or you don't have that network, or you're feeling unconfident in doing that part, you don't have the clients yet.

Maybe then just pick, like, what's the easiest way that's aligned with your capacity and your personality to talk to more people?

Maybe that's creating content.

My guess is I almost said it, like, with a weird, like, oh, I don't know, maybe that's just me and my clients.

Maybe it's creating content.

But if so, pick one platform.

Pick one platform.

Don't worry about being in all the places right now.

Just get in front of people.

Maybe that's collaborating with people and reaching out to people to, I don't know, trade podcast spots or.

Or maybe if you don't have.

You don't have to have a podcast.

Maybe it's you reach out and ask to talk on somebody else's podcast or a few somebody else's podcasts.

Maybe if you have a free lead magnet or something that's really great and you just don't have the capacity to be telling everybody about it.

Maybe there's somebody you know and have met that does something similar ish to you that you can package up a bundle kind of thing with, and they can, you know, leverage each other's audiences for the most part.

I think the first one, honestly, is easiest for most of my clients.

Anybody that you know, just to ask and just tell them.

If there's somebody that you know that you've been talking with online or whatever that actually think might be a good fit to work with you, then just reach out and tell them and ask them and invite them.

Maybe it's like, okay, maybe this is not a sales season for me.

Maybe I actually don't need to be doing anymore right now, but maybe I want to be growing so that I can be selling in the fall, maybe this is an audience building season.

So maybe again, looking at what actual capacity you have and how do you do that, right?

One thing, pick one thing to focus on is my point.

Pick one thing to focus on at a time.

That is what slowing down to speed up means.

One thing to focus on at a time and then do that thing.

I found it can help even to write down in a journal or something like here are the facts, right?

Not like I don't have enough, that's not a fact.

Right?

I am $2,000 away from paying my bills every month, that's a fact.

Or I make enough money to pay my bills every month, that's a fact.

I have X number of clients, that's a fact.

But I don't have enough.

Nobody likes my stuff.

I don't know enough.

I haven't done enough training.

Those are not facts, those are feelings.

So those don't get to count here, okay?

Right now, facts are the important thing.

Fact.

I have only this many hours a week to work right now and I invite you to put positive and positive things there and things that could be better.

And this works because then when you slow down and you're focusing your effort on one thing, you actually get further in that one thing than if you try to spread your energy out all across the board and not get anywhere.

Right.

It also helps us to keep doing the same thing for a set amount of time, a month, two months, three months, and then be able to have actual data, actual facts to look at and see.

Okay, what needs tweaked.

If this has been really helpful for you and you're like, okay, great, I'm going to slow down.

Here's some things I, I know what I'm going to do.

Fantastic.

Reach out and send me a message and let me know.

It means the world to me to hear that somebody is listening to this podcast or watching this podcast and I genuinely hope it's helpful for you.

And if you're like, you try it or you're like great.

I have no freaking clue where to start.

All of it seems overwhelming.

All of it seems like I need to handle it right now.

I need somebody else is help.

That is very okay and normal too.

If you're a cycle breaking mama here along with me, you are likely working on building or rebuilding your self trust.

So that step can be hard.

And asking somebody to help you sort through those and learn to lean into your self trust is super helpful.

So if that's you, come talk to me.

I have a spot open for My one on one private coaching at six months long.

If you really want to make big shifts in your business and life, that's for you.

But if you're like, I feel pretty good but like I just, I really need help figuring out where to start right now.

What do I slow down on, what do I focus on and how do I start there, then come talk to me about booking a deep dive with me.

So a deep dive for me, I don't personally find that like a big long ass call, one call where we like go really hard can be and then leave it at that is beneficial for moms like you and I.

Right.

This is just what I found to be true over the last now going on three years working with almost exclusively moms.

So when I do a deep dive, what we're going to do is we're going to have two calls.

We're going to start with a one hour call and we're going to figure out what is going on and where you're feeling stuck and I'm going to guide you through some grounding and we're going to actually look at the data together and then we're going to do a follow up call in a week.

But in between you're going to get unlimited support and telegram from me so that if we have things that need to be implemented throughout the week because I know that you likely don't have just several hours to sit down and do all of this stuff right, Maybe even you don't even have two hours.

So we get in a call and then we can on your schedule like over the next week dive into the nitty gritty of okay, maybe you need some time to like collect the data and share it with me and we look over it together, me and then I can share like what you need to do or maybe you're starting to look into this and you're coming up against okay, this is, I know it's in my head but like this is coming up at home or with my kids and we talk through that and we coach through that and then we have a follow up call at the end to kind of wrap everything up and make sure you feel good moving forward so you get some serious clarity and help slowing down together so that you can speed up and make more progress more fast, make more progress more quickly and more efficiently afterwards without spiraling.

I will put the link in the show notes to book a deep dive with me if that's something you're interested in.

Okay, so pulling this all together, if you are finding Yourself feeling spirally panicky all up in your head.

Nothing seems like it's working, everything's going to fall apart kind of thing.

That's an invitation to slow down, slow down, to speed up.

We're going to slow down and build the foundation or slow down and at least make sure we're on the road that we want to be on so that we can get to our destination faster.

Be it all, whether that be more clients, more money, more balance, whatever that is.

When you're feeling that way, that's when you want to slow down, to speed up.

This works because when we are all up in our head, spiraling, panicking, we're dysregulated.

And the part of our brain that deals with logical thought, the frontal cortex is not online.

Blood is going to the primitive parts of our brain.

So we need to slow it down so that the part of our brain that handles like slow, intentional, logical function can work, which is what's going to get us the most effective results.

And we do this by literally slowing down our bodies, getting into our body.

Doing regulation tools doesn't have to take a long time.

Just recognizing it and getting into our bodies can help.

Looking at the data and then making a decision and picking one path to focus on, at least for the time being.

I hope that this has been helpful for you.

It would mean the world to me if you.

If it's been helpful for you, I would love it if you would subscribe or follow wherever you're listening or watching.

If you would leave a review or comment, it would really make my day.

And if you know somebody that this would help, I'd love it if you'd share it with her.

But no matter what, remember that your business is just one part of your life.

Your motherhood is an equally important part of your life and equally impactful part of your life.

And sometimes we fall into that trap feeling like.

Because motherhood is a pretty much thankless job and we often don't get to see the results of our labor for years to come.

And so it's easy for us to fall into the trap thinking we're not enough.

If, like, our business is not big and we're not doing this empire thing or whatever, you are doing enough.

You are doing extremely impactful work at home, in yourself and in your work.

Your journey does not have to look like anybody else's.

It should just look like yours.

So I cannot wait to talk to you next time.

You've got this.

I'm, like, very aware that I haven't brushed my teeth.

Let me go do that and I'll come right back.

And when you're seeing everybody else.

I can't do it.

I can't do it.

I have my desk again.