Some of the sneakiest forms of self-sabotage don’t feel like sabotage at all.

They feel like tightening up your calendar. Making a “smart pivot.” Pressing pause after a launch. Saying no to support because “it’s just faster to do it myself.”

But if you’re a high-achieving First Gen entrepreneur, especially a woman of color, chances are what you’re calling strategy... is actually self-protection.

In this episode, I break down 5 business behaviors that are actually Survival Mode in disguise, and how they keep high-achievers stuck even when things are working:

These are the patterns I see come up most in my clients that are behind some of their biggest breakthroughs.

1. Stopping what was working because you’re no longer triggered into action
2. Solving for over-giving at the expense of your own profit vs setting normal business boundaries
3. Fixating on what’s missing vs what's working
4. Anticipating and avoiding rejection in normal business activities
5. Hyper-independence that blocks you from having the team support you need or from accepting help from your partner because you feel ashamed for accepting help.

I also share reflection questions and shifts you can make now—so you can lead from trust instead of protection.

🎟 My free workshop, Scaling Beyond Survival Mode for WOC Entrepreneurs, is happening October 1st. I’ll be coaching through these exact patterns and showing you how to grow without abandoning your nervous system.

Register via the links below.

📲 Want to be in the room with me as I coach on this in real-time? I’m also sharing more on this topic all month inside my new Instagram broadcast channel (@mariela.delamora)

Links mentioned in episode:

• Register for Scaling Beyond Survival Mode for WOC Entrepreneurs on Oct 1st: www.marieladelamora.com/webinar
• Continue the conversation in my new Instagram Broadcast Channel - Cycle Breakers & Money Makers: https://www.instagram.com/channel/AbYEcHdrsaN1m1V7/?igsh=bng3c3Izbms0M2J6
• Turn who you are into your biggest competitive advantage through my NEW private podcast - Identity ROI: www.marieladelamora.com/identity-roi

So the thing about running a business when you are really, really smart and self-aware and logical is that you can pretty much come up with a very logical sounding reason for all of the things that you are doing that are actually sabotage, which sabotage is really self-protection. We're not labeling that as a bad thing. Like, Ooh, you're sabotaging yourself. People don't think that they're doing that. It's just self-protection. It's so normal, right? But

what we're actually doing beneath this, especially if you are a woman of color, ⁓ is that there's self-protection here, there's anticipation of what we think is gonna go wrong, and all of these things that show up in business for us to really protect ourselves from an emotion, protect ourselves from a situation that we think is gonna happen. And this happens a lot more with marginalized entrepreneurs because we do come from backgrounds where we had to protect ourselves, where things actually happened. And business,

Unfortunately, but it's part of the package, right? And this is also why we need to give ourselves so much compassion and grace is that we're kind of signing ourselves up for an arena that's going to test these things. And that's why it is so important to develop the skill of calling yourself out when you're like, I'm just scared. I'm just scared. And this is what I'm scared of, or this is what I'm trying to protect myself from.

And this is what we're going to talk about in this episode. So in this episode, I'm going to talk about the sneaky survival mode behaviors that stall your growth or rob you of your peace and profit. Right. So even if you're not in a season where you're like, I want to grow a lot, you might just be like, I just want to stabilize. I want to repeat what I did last year, but more peacefully. I want to, I'm in a different season of life. Maybe you're going into family planning, different things. All of it is valid and fair. Whatever that is this episode's for you. So the patterns I'm going to talk about are the ones that I see all the time in

high achieving women of color entrepreneurs, first gen, and most of them aren't these major dramatic, like, my gosh, survival mode, sabotage behaviors. They're actually, they look like almost like good business hygiene, like logical decisions. Like, you know, whenever you are coming up with a decision and you're just like, no, this makes sense on paper, right? And the sneakiest thing about survival mode is that it doesn't always look.

like you're struggling and you may not even necessarily be struggling, you actually could be doing really well. Sometimes it shows up after your best sales season or when things are, you know, happening. And when you're no longer struggling, that's when your nervous system doesn't know what to do with that. And so you stop doing what's working. You start self abandoning. ⁓ You start to play small strategically, but to protect your progress because of what you think is going to happen at the next.

step or if you make that decision that you actually want to make and that self-protection actually winds up sabotaging your piece, it sabotages your profit, both your growth, all of that. And so in this episode, I'm going to walk you through five specific survival mode behaviors in your business that are sabotaging your growth or your piece right now and what to do instead. So at the end of the episode, I'm also going to share more about my upcoming workshop, Scaling Beyond Survival Mode for Women of Color Entrepreneurs that's happening on October 1st.

it's going to mark the doors opening to Reclamation Mastermind, but I would love for you to join me there. So everything's in the show notes. And so that's where I'm going to go deeper into how to shift these patterns and lead from trust to feel safe, to be able to

either break a current profit ceiling that you're in, in order for you to expand in the way that you want to expand, in order for you to have the identity that you want to have, in order for you to book out, in order for you to do the thing that you want to do, but get yourself on board. Because that's the hardest part of business. It's not the doing, it's the human aspect. It's the getting yourself behind it. It's all of the self-protection that we put into place as we're growing. And whenever we're growing something and we're doing something that...

you we weren't necessarily like set up to do, we are going to be looking for signs of danger constantly. And that is what this episode's about because when we're looking for signs of danger that either aren't there or that might be there, but we actually can trust ourselves to work through it, then we actually can step forward towards that growth and that thing that we want to do more fearlessly. So we'll dive in. So I'm going to talk to you about the patterns, like I said, the five patterns, and then I'll talk to you about the workshop. So pattern number one is

You stop doing what got you here because you're no longer struggling, because you're used to struggling, right? ⁓ One of my clients used the term expert sufferer and I cannot get it out of my head. ⁓ If they're listening right now, they'll laugh because like I've used this term before and I'm just like, my God, we're expert sufferers. Like I'm so good at my backs against the wall, like against all odds. I'm so good at holding it all, being the mediator, like being the family liaison. Like I'm so good at.

compartmentalizing my emotions and like pushing through stuff. Like talk to me if you're first gen, like you're probably very good at doing hard things. And so what happens is you wind up trusting this part, you know, more, right? And so what happens is when you're not in that place anymore, waste, basically when stuff starts working, you're just like, cool. Okay, let me just stop doing that. I guess I don't need that anymore.

I can hold more now. So it's kind of like, as soon as you get some relief, you want to just take on more. So what happens is you stop doing, for example, self coaching and mindset work, because for a season you were just like, my God, I got to get my beliefs. I got to do self coaching. I got to do this. You start doing your morning walks in the morning. You start to regulate, you do all these things, and then you start creating the results. And then you're like, thank goodness. I just made 20K this month. I'm okay. I'm doing great. And you stop doing it. You stop doing what got you here. Or you stop getting coached.

Or you stop selling once you've made enough sales to not feel triggered financially. Okay? How many of y'all have done this? Okay? Like literally I've done this. ⁓ I didn't for years and years and years, but when I hit burnout, that's actually what happened. ⁓ Or sometimes you stop doing again, you stop doing what got you here. Sometimes it might be that like you're doing stuff that's working and then you hear about a new strategy and it's like the new trend, the new thing. You need to be doing this.

Because when you don't take credit for your current results and you don't know how you created them, you will always think that success happened to you rather than it being something that you created. This happens all the time. It happens all the time. I'm telling you, I don't know why. I don't know what it is about high achieving folks in first gen is that you're just like.

I don't even know. I don't even know. Like, I just kind of feel like, you it happened. And I'm just like, you do know, like, let's, let's look at it. This is why I created success receipts in Reclamation Mastermind, because I was like, if you don't know how you got here, you are always going to feel like it's out of your control. That is what makes it easier for you to stop doing what's working, because you don't even realize it was in your order to begin with. It's on your receipts. So you have to track the breadcrumb trail of what got you here, because if you don't, like I said, you aren't going to be able to find your way back.

And you also cannot create from what's missing. You can only create from what's working. So a big part of this, like I said, I have a process called success receipts that I use with my private clients and I use in reclamation. You have to look at if you were to take 100 % credit for everything that you're doing right now, even even if you want to be somewhere else, because there's never going to be a time that you're going to be like, well, like I also have this other goal. No. If you were to think back three years ago, two years ago, one year ago.

Everything that you have now, the person that you are now versus the person that you are then, where are you sitting in the miracle of something that you wanted back then? The results that you do have. Stop with the, ⁓ yes, but it's not good enough because I want to be somewhere else, or I should have been further along. No. How did you get here? What did you do? We have to audit that. Who were you being? What were you doing? What were some key decisions that helped you get here? What are some beliefs that you had to release? What are some things you stopped worrying about?

audit and take credit as if you were programming this into yourself to be like more of this please like let's make sure we don't stop doing what's working that's what you have to do so you have to audit what's working take credit for your current results track this breadcrumb trail and audit that so that as you're making decisions about what you need you don't yank the plug of something that is actually supporting you and if you decide to stop doing something you're doing it from a conscious place

versus a I'm not struggling anymore, I guess I can do it on my own now. I can stop doing this now. Okay, so that's pattern number one. Pattern number two is you solve for over giving with money instead of boundaries. I'm gonna explain what I mean. You naturally over give and over deliver, but you feel resentful about it you're not happy about it. You don't actually co-sign yourself. You're just doing it from people pleasing. You're doing it because you're afraid people will leave you. You're doing it because you're afraid people won't pay.

what you charge if you don't over give and then you start to feel resentful and then instead of just changing the boundary ⁓ or saying what I'm giving is enough, it's more than enough, right? Like I'm not gonna over give anymore. You'll solve for it in ways that cost you money instead of with boundaries. So this is what this looks like. And I've seen my clients do this and they're so smart and they're so brilliant and they're so amazing and this is what happens.

will solve for this by not selling that offer anymore, or they will trim the offer down. So like, OK, I'm just going to cut some calls. I'm going to cut some calls. ⁓ Or they're going to cut the pricing, right? So they'll cut the pricing because then they think if they cut the pricing, then they won't feel bad cutting back on the boundaries. But then they still over deliver. But then they feel worse about it because they're charging less. Right. So this might look like you had a group program and then you turned it into a membership.

Or you had a one-on-one offer, but you were way over delivering, so then you cut the amount of calls, but then you're going over on the calls because you cut the price. And then you feel like it's not enough time to go over everything. Or you are like, OK, well, I don't think that I can charge this most for six months. I'm going to sell three months. But then I'm going to force that promise into three months. And then everybody's stressed out. So this isn't helping anybody. You also will do this, like I said, by underpricing to feel better about having normal client boundaries.

Or like I said, you will sell lower ticket offers to solve for burnout that comes from over giving because you think that they will take less capacity and then you won't feel bad. But it's actually the opposite, right? So over delivering under pricing to feel better about boundaries, selling a lower ticket offer to solve for burnout that comes from over giving. And actually it has the opposite effect. So what do you do first of all, to know if you're here is you need to ask yourself, am I, where am I feeling resentment in my body?

So you will always know that it's over giving and not over delivering. You can over deliver and just be like, hell yeah, I over deliver in my offer. my gosh, it's a steal. If somebody's paying like 10 K to be in this, like they're getting so much support. I love it. I love giving this to my clients. That's different than you're secretly mad or you just secretly feel resentful. Like you don't want to do it. You don't actually co-sign it, but you're doing it from a place of fear. You know that feeling of resentment. We've all felt it. What does resentment feel like in your body? Okay.

Where and what are you doing that's activating that sense of resentment? Second question is when I do that, what am I protecting myself from? What do I think I'm protecting myself from rather because it isn't always that it happens, right? If it comes up a lot ask why does this make sense? Where did I learn this? Okay, because this helps us attribute the feeling to the source rather than the immediate circumstance in front of you we may be trying to protect ourselves from where we actually ⁓

did get criticized or abandoned or whatever, rejected, but that's not necessarily the case right now. Okay? Then once you attribute some of it to the source and say, where did I learn this? I want you to sell yourself on how will the boundaries that I already know I want to implement, because you know which ones you want to implement, you know what you wish you could do. How is that actually in your client's best interest and yours? How will that allow

them to know how to show up and how to receive support and what's included and what's not and what to expect and what's, you know, all that. And how will that also create nourishment for you to make this offer sustainable for you to feel excited about selling this offer? Because when you are afraid to receive clients in an offer because you're over delivering, you will subconsciously stop selling it. You will subconsciously resist marketing something that you are like, my gosh, this is going to be so much work.

Okay, so it doesn't serve anybody, but this is what happens. So I want you to sell yourself. How do the boundaries that I already know that I want to implement, how do they actually serve the client and me? Because boundaries are just expectations. People don't even necessarily receive it as like, my God, you're putting a boundary on me. You're just telling people what to expect. That's all you're doing. Okay? And the second thing that I want you to know is that clients...

clients respond to the expectations that you set, not the price they paid.

This is what I mean. If you launched something or sold something that was a strategy call, a VIP, like a VIP day that actually required more time, a membership, and the person is paying $99 for something, they still can come in there with 10K expectations, okay, on a $99 a month offer.

if you don't set those expectations, they're just gonna follow. People don't know, and it's not because they're trying to get over on you or they're selfish or they're ridiculous expectations, they just don't know. Sometimes they just don't know. You need to tell them this is how this works. This is what is in scope, this is what's not in scope. This is what I'm gonna do for you, and if you have more than three revisions, then there's gonna be a price associated with this. ⁓ The calls happen at this time. ⁓ This is what's included, this is not. You just have to set the expectation.

Clients respond to the expectations you set, not the price they paid. Okay? So this is pattern number two, solving, solving for over giving with your profit instead of boundaries. Pattern number three, you're constantly focusing on lack. What's missing and what you did wrong. You're constantly focused on lack. So this might look like resistance to celebrating because you're just like, yeah, it's not a big deal. You're dismissing it. You're undercutting it. You're just like, it's not that big of a deal. You're not.

Celebrating any of the things so you're constantly looking at what you don't have Meanwhile you have a whole ass trail of stuff that did work that is working that is happening and it becomes a thinkless job to be yourself Honestly, that's really what happens is it becomes a very thinkless job. I'm like, well goddamn like I eventually The universe is gonna be like, alright, well, we'll just stop giving you stuff because it's not working So constant if you're if you're noticing a resistance to celebrating or looking at what's working, right? ⁓

This could also look like fixating on what's next instead of what's in front of you because you're afraid you're going to lose momentum. Now there's nothing wrong with looking ahead, but what happens is we'll be like, okay, what's next, what's next, what's next. And instead what's next is dictated by like, where are you right now? Because how we know where we're going is we need to know where we are. We need to know where we are. What do we want to change? What's working?

What are our clients saying? Why are they saying that? Okay, where are they coming from? Okay, well, when this person asks this, why do they ask this? Like we need to slow down and be with what is as we're deciding where to go. Otherwise we burn ourselves out or we try to create the future. Like we run to it because we're afraid of losing momentum. Like anything around like losing momentum is all like scarcity and lack, right? Which is constant focus on lack of scarcity. ⁓

And this, this sounds also very logical because this is a very high achiever brain to be like, what's next? Okay. So like, but when I do that, then like, what's going to happen? I'm like, okay, we can talk about that, but we need to be here right now. We could talk about that just so you feel safe. But sometimes, and I get it. Sometimes you need to know like, okay, well, what ideally would be the next thing after that in order for you to be on board with what you're doing right now. Totally get that. That totally makes sense. But what I'm talking about is when you're so fixated on like what's next, the next goal.

the next one, the next, the next, the next, that like you, like I said, it becomes a thankless job to you and you're not even actually being with what is and you're not looking at the information that it's giving you. Another thing, like just to give you an example, and I'll see this as a coach where I'm like, I know what's happening in someone's business or I may know something, but then the way that the question is posed, I'm like, wait a minute, that sounds like you're talking about someone else. wait, what? So it's kind of like if you had, you'll say like, I had a horrible day.

And in reality, like, you got a parking ticket or something, and then you'll say, had a bad day, like, nothing's working, whatever. But then like 99 % of your day, you're just like, but actually all these other great things happen. And then they don't tell you about the great things that happened in your day, this is what happened. It may show up as like noticing the stories you're telling yourself about where you're at. Does it sound very dire and like nothing is working? So for example, I sometimes will coach on like, I have no interest. I have no interest in my offers. Nobody wants my offers.

But then I'll start digging deeper and they'll say, well, you know, I was talking to this person in the DMS the other day and they asked me about this. And then they said, like, they didn't know if it was like a really good time. And I'm just like, OK, and so what happened? And they're like, yeah, well, they just stopped responding. And then I was like, OK, so like what happened when you followed up? And they're just like, well, I did it. And I'm like, OK, but that sounds like interest. So there is interest. But like you just haven't closed the loop yet. Right. So it's little things like that about when we are focused on lack.

we'll miss where the opportunities are right in front of us, right? Which is actually gonna lead me to pattern four around anticipating rejection because it stops us from following up. It stops us from closing the loop on opportunities that are sitting right in front of us because we're focused on lack, right? So I want you to notice how you're talking about the current season or what's happening and see, and just ask yourself sometimes, I ask myself this question like, Mariela, where are you not telling the full story?

It just in like in a loving way. I'm like, Maria, where are you not telling the full story? I'll say this to my clients. I'm like, we're just in the the kindest way possible. Where are you not telling the full story? Okay. So constant focus on lack pattern for

Pound four, anticipating rejection in normal business activities. Where are you anticipating that you're going to be rejected and protecting yourself from rejection, what you think it is, protecting yourself from no before you've even looked at it. I want you to look back and be like, I closed the loop, that person said no, but I know why, and I know it's not a no forever.

or I know why and it's like they weren't a good fit or you know what? And it's fine, but at least I closed the loop, right? Versus, I don't know. I just like, didn't ever follow up. So what this looks like is not following up, letting conversations trail off because you think following up one time or maybe two times depending right on the situation will like be annoying or make you look bad. Or anticipating rejection also looks like seeing objections as like they don't see the value, right? It's like,

It's just an objection. They're not rejecting you. They just have a question. They don't understand something. It's not that they don't see the value, like we're personalizing it. So sometimes I'm like, if somebody has an objection, that means they're actually interested or they wouldn't even be talking to you. It's kind of the same way as if you're in a relationship and the person is bringing something to your attention that like they don't like or doesn't work. Like they're invested. It's a bid, right? It's a bid for fixing it. It's a bid for resolution. It's a bid for conversation.

And so whenever we get objections or questions like this, person isn't supposed to just be like clear of any sort of doubt. Like it's okay. But we, when it feels like rejection, we'll just be like, why don't I want to feel rejected? So like, they just don't see the offer. And I only want to work with people who are like a hundred percent on board. And that's another way that it shows up. I'm like, I only want to work with people who a hundred percent on board. I'm like, they're human beings. They're never going to be a hundred percent on board. Some people might, but sometimes people being a hundred percent on board is actually people pleasing. And then they get purchase.

Like they'll reject, they'll like, they, ⁓ what's it called? They'll say yes too soon. And then they should have thought about it. I can't get the word out of my head right now. So if somebody is reaching out and they have questions or they don't understand something or they have hesitations, they're interested. Okay. That's another one about anticipating rejection. Another one is like, you don't want to repeat yourself. People will be like, well, I don't want to repeat myself. Like I already said that. I feel like people know that. And I'm just like,

Like you can say it again. Repetition is kind, right? So ask yourself, where am I measuring success based on the outcome instead of practicing the outreach muscle or the follow-up muscle, right? Ask yourself, have I even finished this attempt? Have I completed it? Have I closed the circle or have I just anticipated it's not gonna work? And I just paused it and I pulled the plug myself, right? And sometimes we haven't even allowed for a no and a no is just

data, right? And we actually need enough of it in order to make a decision. We shouldn't be out here making a decision based on one half conversation. We need to have more attempts in order to even know what's happening. And every conversation that you have is so important to your business. You have to look at when they asked this and they thought this or they worried about this, why are they doing that? Is this something that actually is within my offer that they didn't know? Or is this something that I don't offer and I'm fine with that? But you have to get to the point of being like,

didn't get to the no you didn't succeed like you need to at least complete the attempt ⁓ and exposing yourself to that is actually what removes it of its power and so i know that this is like hard i think is this this is like our abandonment wound like kicking in you know what i mean but this is where we have to close the loop on things so that it that's the only way that it removes its power and also know that every time if you actually get to a no

you have way more data that's going to serve you for a yes than if you just didn't follow up or you just tried to protect yourself and you didn't even shoot your shot in the first place. Pattern number five, hyper independence. And I'll tell you how it shows up in business. Okay. I'm pretty sure all y'all you're listening. Most of the people that I attract are hyper independent. You have done all the things you have been taught that

⁓ that's to be rewarded. That's to be praised. I mean, hell, not just your family, the workforce, everybody honestly rewards this, praises this things. That's so great to be hyper independent. ⁓ and what you actually learn hyper independence in itself is not healthy because normal, like healthy human connection is interdependence, meaning we should be able to depend on others in order for us to move forward in life, to do the things we want to do.

It's like, you think about a child, granted, you're going to be like, but I'm an adult, Maria, I'm not a child. A child learns confidence and self-assuredness and safety by interdependence, by knowing my mom is here, my parents are here, my well, it does are here, my teachers, like all these people can support me and have my back. That's actually what creates confidence. When you are told you can't depend on other people, that actually isn't like a healthy pattern. And so what that is, what creates like

self abandonment, that's what creates people pleasing, that's what creates all these like a lot, honestly, a lot of times hyper independence bleeds into lots of other things. What this looks like in business is sometimes it's like trying to do things all on your own, not getting support when you actually need it. ⁓ So this could look like not getting a coach if you need a coach or not getting a therapist if you need a therapist. It also could look like not hiring.

once you are clearly the bottleneck, once you're not getting things done purely because of capacity or time, but you know what to do to make money. So kind of like if content's not going out or you're spending all this time like uploading calls to your client portal or sending follow-ups like manually because you don't have a system for it and it's actually costing you time every single day.

and you're just getting by because you're like, well, I don't want to pay somebody to like do this. And I'm just like, okay, but like, what is it? It has an opportunity cost no matter what, right? So sometimes this looks like you avoid hiring or you hire and then you fire because you're like, it didn't work out. I could just do it faster myself or better myself. That's literally never a good reason. If the only reason you hired someone and fired somebody is because you could do it better yourself, you didn't actually solve the problem. You just got rid of the support. Okay.

That's something that I teach you. I'm a leadership coach. There is, can always solve any team problem. Every single team problem is solvable. Okay. Or you fill in gaps in an underperforming team member by solving them by, doing it yourself rather than being like, Hey, this is what I need you to do. Or like this, this was done this way, but this is actually what I want instead. And that's sometimes how, you know, do I actually have a mismatched team member or do I actually have to train them up or fill this gap? Right. So not hiring.

Hiring than firing, filling in gaps by solving them yourself. Or another sneakier way, and this shows up a lot with my clients sometimes because of the things that they learned, is that they are being supported by a partner or someone in their life, financially usually, and they have a hard time accepting that that partner is there to support them financially so that they can continue to grow their business because a part of them

feels like A, there's something wrong with me that I need to accept help from my partner, or B, that they were taught they shouldn't depend on people and that that's bad, or C, that this person is helping me and supporting me, but secretly they're resenting me and holding it against me, therefore I need to get my shit together and stop accepting the support because they actually are like, they're resenting me, they're like counting all this against me. ⁓ And we learn this

growing up, sometimes you may have had parents that said something's fine and it really isn't, and then they throw it in your face, or you were taught, it's bad, you should never depend on anybody. Or sometimes my clients who grew up with single moms were like, you can't depend on a man. Like, I don't want you to ever depend on a husband, right? And there's some validity to that, right? Like, I understand that in a, obviously I've been divorced, but I'm not just saying this from that perspective, that I say like,

Yes, it's always good for you to have your own thing. I think that when you are completely financially dependent on a partner, and let's say if you didn't have any means to be able to provide for yourself outside of that, like, yes, that's a different situation, but most of the time, that's not the case. It's that you're both contributing and you guys are fine and your partner is like happy to support you. It's just that you don't believe them or you're thinking less of yourself because you're accepting the support. So that's another thing. And what happens in that, how it affects your business is that you then put all of this pressure

because you're trying to do it from a place of shame and rush. And that actually gets in the way of your results because you're doing it from a place of like, this needs to work so that I can stop feeling uncomfortable so that I can stop accepting this help because something's wrong with me that I'm accepting help and like, it's going to go away any day. And so like the pressure doesn't serve you or your business. Right. And I want to just tell you, okay, like how to move forward from here is that if it has to do with the relational part.

right, the interdependence ⁓ is you can't heal relational wounds outside of a relationship. So number one, like if you were brought up to be hyper independent, the only way that you learn interdependence and safety and being supported is in a relationship. So just know that sometimes being in a bit, you know, having a business and having the up and down months and having a partner who's like, hey, I'm happy to be like the stable person, you know, financially and like, because obviously in entrepreneurship, it's not that way ⁓ that you're actually healing it by going through that. And

Also know that every entrepreneur needs a safety net, whether it's a savings, a job, a partner, another way of making money. Like we all need some sort of a safety net. So it's just a normal thing that just happens to be one of yours. And what a beautiful thing, you know, that you have. ⁓ If the hyper independence you're knowing, ⁓ you're seeing showing up with regards to a team member, I want you to ask, what would it take for me to get exactly what I want from this person, from this team member? And even if it's not this team member, but a team member, like what would be, what would be the dream situation?

And what do I need to do in order to make that happen? Or what would I need to do in order to make it abundantly clear that I have tried and I have communicated and I've communicated versus me just jumping in and doing it myself? Because that's what happens sometimes is like we don't communicate our needs, we just jump in and do it ourselves. So we don't even allow that person to meet our needs because we went in and did it ourselves, right? So.

That's one thing. And I think team is a tricky one because it actually is a skill set. It's not just a mindset. Like you actually do have to learn how to hire appropriately, set the appropriate expectations. You should never have a role on your team without a job description ever, ever, ever. Even if you're opting into someone's package, you should have clear expectations. And I think sometimes people are afraid of correcting someone or saying, hey, this didn't meet my expectations. Here's what I want. Because they're just like, well, this just isn't going to work. But that's just hyperindependence, right?

So in closing, what I mentioned, the five patterns were pattern number one, you stop doing what got you here since you're no longer struggling. Pattern number two, solving for over giving with your own profit rather than boundaries. Pattern number three is you're constantly focused on lack and scarcity and operating from that place. Number four, anticipating rejection in normal business activities. And number five is hyper independence. Okay.

So if you've noticed yourself in any of these patterns, that is exactly what I'm gonna be talking about in my workshop on October 1st. It's called Scaling Beyond Survival Mode for Women of Color Entrepreneurs. That's where I'm gonna be going deeper into what to actually do when you notice that you're in one of these patterns. And we're going to do that without like blowing up your offers or abandoning yourself. It's not gonna be anything ⁓ where we're like pulling the plug on any of those things.

I'm also going to be sharing more of my stories and my teachings around all of this this month inside of my Instagram broadcast channel. So follow me on mariela.delamora. So I just got an Instagram broadcast channel. I'm so excited about it. And I love just showing up and coaching. Like my human design is ⁓ as a manifesting generator, my strategy is to respond. So like where I'm in my element is when I have question answer or I have like someone drops a thing and then I drop you a voice memo.

And so like, this is me and my element. So what I'm gonna be doing in there is I am gonna be talking about ⁓ basically all of the things that prohibit us from growing peacefully, safely, all of the survival mode patterns, right? ⁓ And typically this will happen after you're making money, ⁓ not at the very beginning. ⁓ And so I want you to join me there because that's where I'm going to be actually actively live coaching. Like I'm gonna drop prompts.

or questions and then you may come back and say, hey, here's my question and I'll pick some questions to answer either written or voice memo. So essentially I'm gonna be in there coaching, talking, we're gonna host, I'm gonna be facilitating some discussions in there. And I know that like some of you have may have been in broadcast channels that are one directional, I turned on replies, actually I need to double check, but you should be able to reply to my messages in there.

They'll be nested within the main ⁓ post, but I'll be able to see them and other people will be able to see them as well. But I really want to create the space for us to talk about these things because these are all of the things that I coach on. And honestly, they're the things that people feel like they're the only ones going through it and it's not the case. And these are specifically the things that I have seen keep first gen and women of color business owners earning only like a certain amount. It's like I've noticed there's not a lot of us that get to six figures or multiple six figures.

And it's because these are the patterns that we actually have to work on and work through in order to get past that point. And the reason that it tends to hit at those income levels is because that's the point where you're like, OK, I know how to make money. And so we stop. It's almost like the survival mode that got you there is not like motivated by the same thing anymore. And then you start to hit the brakes. So it's important for me to talk about this because I want more of us to make more than just enough. Right. ⁓ So that's why. So.

Join me at Scaling Beyond Survival mode for women of color entrepreneurs happening October 1st. The link to register for that is in the show notes of this episode. Also, my Instagram, join me there in the Instagram broadcast channel. ⁓ And I also recently dropped a new private podcast called Identity ROI. Private podcast will also put that in the show notes. Don't wanna give you too many things, but I just have so many new things that I'm just so excited to share because I want to be able to help more people.

on a wider scale in order to help them to break through some of the plateaus that need a little bit extra consideration that are very much like based in our, you know, that are cultural, that are systemic, that are rooted in a lot of our lived experiences because I know how wildly capable all of us are. In fact, most of us are like overqualified for the thing that we're doing. And the things that I'm talking through are exactly what has been behind.

my clients biggest breakthroughs, biggest years where they've gone in and like literally tripled their income from one year to the next. This has been the key differentiator between my six figure clients to going to multiple six figures the following year, right? Not that this happens every time, of course not, but they are typically the release of these things, these identity shifts, these safety shifts, okay? So I will see you there and thank you all for joining me this week.