01:18 Understanding God's Design for Marriage and Gender

02:48 Foundations of Love and Identity

11:32 Defending the Goodness of God's Design

20:05 Addressing the Sinfulness of LGBTQ+ Thinking

26:18 Redefining Goodness and Love

35:49 Common Questions and Answers

46:06 The Gospel for All Sinners

48:45 Conclusion and Prayer

Alright, well, well, tonight, um, so we've been going

2

through the book of Romans, right?

3

Romans and Romans chapter one talks

about a really, really important.

4

Issue something really important

that, so important that I thought

5

it would be best if we just took

a night to talk about this topic.

6

So tonight we are going to talk

about homosexuality and LGBTQ

7

plus all of that because in Romans

one, verses 26 and 27 talked about

8

how the, some people who had, um.

9

What's called, what they said were

unnatural desires, desires for, uh, men,

10

desiring men and women desiring women.

11

And so that's what we're gonna talk about.

12

We're gonna talk about all of that.

13

And so, um, it's gonna be, uh,

hopefully really helpful for you to

14

see what God says, why he says it,

um, why certain things that the, the

15

Bible says about what we would call

sin and how to talk to people about.

16

This topic, because I'm sure this

is not your favorite thing to

17

talk about with people at school.

18

So, um, that's what

we're gonna talk about.

19

So this is what we're gonna do.

20

We're gonna be looking at what the

Bible says about LGBTQ plus ideas and

21

thoughts and desires and all that.

22

Okay?

23

So what I want for you tonight,

this is my goal for you, is I want

24

you to be clear and confident.

25

About God's design, God's design for

marriage, God's design for gender, God's

26

design for attraction, God's design

for romance, for all those things.

27

I want you to be clear.

28

This is what God says.

29

This is how God made people to live

and to interact with each other.

30

I want you to have clarity about that.

31

I want that to make sense.

32

I want you to understand what God

says, and I want you to be confident.

33

I want you to be like,

that's a good thing.

34

I'm so glad God says what he says.

35

I'm so glad God made people

the way he made people.

36

I want you to be clear about it.

37

I want you to understand it,

and I want you to be confident.

38

I want you to feel really good about it.

39

I want you to, to affirm it, and I want

you to not be embarrassed about it.

40

Especially in today's culture, it's,

it's easy for someone to make you

41

feel embarrassed about what God says.

42

I'm gonna make you feel like a

bad person for believing what the

43

Bible says about these things.

44

So I want you to be confident.

45

I don't want you to be embarrassed.

46

I don't want you to be ashamed,

and I don't want you to, to feel

47

like this is a bad thing, that

God says these things, okay?

48

That's what I want for you.

49

So here's our starting point, okay?

50

Our, our number one starting

point when we're thinking

51

about all of this stuff, right?

52

When you think about, um.

53

All the different, all the different

aspects of, of gender and sexuality

54

and identity and all of these things.

55

The number one thing I want you

to start with is that God is love.

56

That's where I want you to start.

57

God loves you more than you love yourself.

58

God loves you more than you love yourself.

59

That's not our first point, but that

is where I want you to start, that God

60

loves you more than you love yourself.

61

In fact, God loves people so much

that one John four says that he

62

sent his son to die for people.

63

He God took on flesh and died for people.

64

That's how much God loves you.

65

He was willing to do that for you.

66

God loves you more than you love you,

and so because of that, God wants

67

what's best for you, more than you want.

68

What's best for you, right?

69

God wants you to be happy more

than you want you to be happy.

70

Maybe you've never thought about that

before, but this is our, our starting

71

place because a lot of people will

tell you, well, it's unloving for

72

God to say these things about me.

73

It's unloving for you to tell me

X, y, and Z about my gender or

74

who I'm allowed to marry or what

I'm allowed to say about myself.

75

So our starting point is

that, that God loves you.

76

God loves people so much.

77

So that, that's our starting point,

and we even see that here, right?

78

In one John four, beloved

let us love one another.

79

For love is from God.

80

So love is God's idea, right?

81

In our title.

82

There's that, that phrase that

you hear thrown out a lot.

83

That love is love, right?

84

Don't let anyone tell

you who you can love.

85

Well, actually, love is God's idea.

86

God invented love.

87

Love actually existed before

the world existed because God,

88

the Father loved God the son.

89

Before he made anyone so love

actually has existed before the

90

world existed before Adam and Eve

were created before Sin entered

91

the world, God made us out of love.

92

Actually.

93

God made people so he could love them.

94

So love is God's idea.

95

Whoever loves has been

born of God and knows God.

96

So the only way you can love truly is

if you have a relationship with God.

97

You see that the only way that you can

actually love someone has to do with God.

98

You cannot love apart from God.

99

It's, it's really not love.

100

It's just a fake imitation of love.

101

Whoever loves has been

born of God and knows God.

102

Anyone who does not.

103

Love does not know God

because God is love.

104

Now, these three words are three

of the, this is one of the most

105

important phrases in the Bible.

106

God is love.

107

It's not saying that God is loving,

it's saying that God is love.

108

What's the difference there?

109

Well, the difference is that, God,

this is, this is a definition, right?

110

Who God is is love.

111

So whatever love is has to be.

112

Consistent with who God is.

113

You can't make love something that's

not consistent with who God is.

114

I heard one theologian put it

this way, he said that, that Jesus

115

is love covered over in flesh.

116

Jesus is love in a human

body because God is love.

117

So the way we define love is by God.

118

So.

119

Well, how?

120

What does it look like to love someone?

121

Well, what's God like?

122

That's where we start.

123

We start with God.

124

That's how we learn what love is.

125

You can't learn what love

is unless you know God.

126

So that has to be our starting point.

127

God is loving God.

128

In fact is love.

129

God invented love.

130

Love is God's idea.

131

So that's the first thing I

want you to start with it.

132

That love has to be.

133

From God has to be in relationship to God.

134

The second thing I want you to start

with is that your identity, who you are

135

is defined by God, not your body, not

your emotions, and not your experiences.

136

Who you are is not dependent

on your physical body.

137

If that, which that has to be true.

138

Because if, if you believe in life

after death, well your body's dead,

139

but you're still alive, right?

140

So who you are has to be more than

just what your body says, right?

141

Your emotions don't define who you are,

how you feel doesn't define who you are

142

and what you go through in life, right?

143

The things that happen to you.

144

Don't define who you are.

145

God determines who you are.

146

God made you right?

147

God made people.

148

People are God's idea, right?

149

No one thought of people until God did.

150

God made people.

151

People like a human being is God's idea.

152

So you can't just be like, well, I know

you made humans God, but actually this

153

is what I think humans should be like.

154

'cause it doesn't make any sense, right?

155

That's like telling the person who.

156

Made a piano to be like, well, actually

I think a piano should have symbols and

157

should have a, you know, have, like,

you should actually play it with a bow.

158

Or you should actually, it should,

you know, I, I think a piano

159

should actually be, um, I think

it should actually have a screen.

160

Like, and, and like, that's

not a, that's not a piano.

161

Right.

162

You, you've changed it into something.

163

It's not because whoever

came up with the piano.

164

What they made, they made this

thing, and if you change it, it's

165

not what it is anymore, right?

166

Your identity is defined by

God, not your, your body, your

167

emotions or your experiences.

168

So, so people are, are God's creation.

169

People are God's idea.

170

And so God gets to tell us who

we are and God gets to tell

171

us how we're supposed to live.

172

But that's why this is

so important too, right?

173

Because it's a loving God who's

telling us all these things.

174

It's a loving God who made us.

175

It's, it's a God who, who wants

your joy, who made you, and who

176

made you to, to be a very specific.

177

Person and to live a very specific way.

178

It's not just like he God's like,

oh well you know, you better do what

179

I say just 'cause I told you to.

180

Right?

181

Like when you were a kid, the

worst answer from your parent

182

was always, 'cause I said so,

183

which is true 'cause there's authority

there, but also it's because I love you.

184

Whenever God tells you to do something,

it's not just 'cause I said so.

185

It's because I love.

186

I want what's best for you, and I

have something good for you in mind

187

that's supposed to come from all this.

188

So God loves you and God

gets to tell you who you are.

189

Those are the two foundations.

190

Now there's gonna be three things,

three terms that you might run into,

191

you may have already encountered them,

that I just wanna briefly define for

192

you to get us all on the same page.

193

Okay?

194

There's three things that I think

you need to know when we talk about

195

homosexuality and L-G-B-T-Q and

transgender and all this stuff.

196

Okay?

197

This sounds like health class.

198

I don't like health class, so let's

pretend it's not health class.

199

Okay.

200

Orientation.

201

Your orientation is who or what

you're attracted to, right?

202

So, um, that includes romantic

and emotional attraction,

203

not just physical attraction.

204

So if you hear about someone's like,

oh, they're their orientation, right?

205

That's who or what you're attracted to.

206

We good?

207

All right, sweet.

208

Your gender identity is a subjective.

209

Subjective.

210

What does subjective mean?

211

Objective.

212

Right?

213

Subjective.

214

That means it's biased.

215

That means it's not necessarily

true, it's just how I feel.

216

Gender identity, our subjective

understanding of ourselves as male,

217

female, both new, et cetera, right?

218

Whatever.

219

It's, you can be wrong essentially.

220

That's what subjective means, right?

221

It's an opinion.

222

So it identity, your gender identity

is your pers your idea, your own

223

understanding of, of who you are.

224

And then your expression is how you

present that identity to other people.

225

By the clothes you wear, the, the

way your voice sounds, the way

226

you look, that's how you express

your perceived identity, right?

227

So for example, right?

228

I perceive myself to be male,

so I present myself as a male.

229

I wear boy clothes, I try to

look like a boy, et cetera.

230

Now, those are just some terms that.

231

We all need to be on the same page.

232

Gonna be using them.

233

Okay, so the first thing I want

you to see is that, like we talked

234

about, God's design is a good thing.

235

God made us the way.

236

He made us for good, for for a

good purpose because he loves us.

237

And the way the Bible talks about

humans and how humans are supposed

238

to live and interact, the way God

made humans is a really good thing.

239

So for our first point tonight.

240

I want you to defend the

goodness of God's design.

241

Defend the goodness of God's design.

242

Turn to Mark chapter 10 in your Bibles.

243

Defend the goodness of God's Designs,

our first point, and when you're writing

244

that down, turn to Mark, chapter 10.

245

Mark chapter 10.

246

So remember, I want you

to be confident, right?

247

That the way God made people and the

way God made relationships, the way

248

God made marriage is a good thing.

249

And I want you to be confident

enough where you can defend it.

250

I want you to be clear about it so you

know what God says, and I want you to

251

be confident you're not embarrassed,

that when someone disagrees, that you're

252

not like, oh, sorry about that, my bad.

253

I want you to be able to defend.

254

So Mark 10 is where we're going.

255

We're gonna be listening

at verses six through nine.

256

Now, if you're in a conversation with

someone about what God says about

257

marriage, this is a great place to

go because one, it's Jesus talking.

258

And a lot of people, even if they don't

necessarily believe the Bible, they'll

259

at least respect something Jesus said.

260

And two, Jesus quotes Genesis, which

is a big deal because he's tying

261

what he says into God's creation.

262

He's tying what he says about

marriage to God's creation.

263

He's affirming what God

did in Genesis one and two.

264

So Mark chapter 10

verses six through nine.

265

Okay, so some, we're gonna make

some quick observations here about

266

this chapter about God's design.

267

Okay?

268

So, but from the beginning of creation.

269

God made them male and female.

270

So see the quotes, that's

a quote from Genesis.

271

I think that's Genesis 2

24, if I remember correctly.

272

So there's a couple observations

here right off the bat, from the

273

beginning of creation, this was

always God's intended design.

274

God always had an intended set design

for how humans are supposed to be.

275

Here's how he made them.

276

God made them male and

female, right, and again.

277

Your parents probably never would've

thought this was a controversial

278

statement, but today in 2025, this is

a controversial statement, God made

279

people to either be male or be female.

280

That is a controversial

statement today, right?

281

So

282

the implication here, what Jesus is

saying there, the Pharisees are asking

283

about marriage, is that this is God's

design from the beginning of time.

284

When God created people, he

designed them with gender.

285

He designed them with marriage in mind.

286

And after this, you'll see he

designed them with attraction,

287

with a right orientation.

288

So God designed people to have a, a,

a correct gender identity, to have a

289

correct gender expression of that identity

and to have a correct orientation.

290

That's God's idea, right?

291

That's not just someone's

opinion or someone's subjective.

292

Understanding of how they feel.

293

Right?

294

God has a design for your orientation,

for what you're attracted to.

295

God has a design for your identity,

what gender you are, and God has a

296

design for how you express that gender.

297

So the first thing God designed,

love, marriage and attraction

298

as a gift to point back to him.

299

And we can see more of

that in Ephesians five.

300

We're not gonna go there, but

what Ephesians five says is

301

that marriage is about Jesus.

302

Marriage is about God.

303

So.

304

That's the first thing.

305

God design.

306

It's God's idea.

307

Love is God's idea.

308

Marriage is God's idea.

309

Attraction is God's idea.

310

Gender is God's idea.

311

He made all of these

things, so he owns them.

312

They're his idea as a

gift to point back to him.

313

That's the first thing I want you to see.

314

Now, second thing that I want you to see

here, which we already talked about, God

315

made them male and female, and now notice.

316

The, the very specific language

he uses in this passage.

317

Therefore, a man shall

leave his father and mother.

318

He doesn't say parents.

319

He says, father and mother, and

a man shall leave his father and

320

mother and hold fast to his wife,

and the two shall become one flesh.

321

So what Jesus is saying very

clearly is not in marriage.

322

Marriage is between a man and a woman.

323

It's very clear this is what God's

design is from the beginning of creation.

324

God designed.

325

People to be male or female

and to stay that way.

326

And he designed marriage to be

between one man and one woman.

327

That's what, that's what

God says about marriage.

328

Now, that's probably not news to you.

329

I hope that's not news to you, but I want

you to be absolutely clear about that.

330

That is God's design for marriage.

331

One man, one woman.

332

So he also expects people to

express themselves that way.

333

Not just to say, oh yeah, I'm

a man, but to consistently

334

express themselves as that.

335

So the second thing about God's design

that I want you to see here is that God

336

created people to express themselves as

male or female from conception, right?

337

Not to confuse people about their

gender or not to pretend that

338

they are something they're not.

339

That's how God designed people to live.

340

God designed people to express themselves.

341

As their designed gender and to

not confuse people with how they

342

present that gender to others.

343

And you can see that in the Old

Testament law when, when God makes the

344

Old Testament law, he tell he cares

about the clothes that people wear.

345

He says, if you're a guy,

don't dress like a girl.

346

And he says, you shouldn't have

relationships that are outside

347

of this design for marriage.

348

So that's the second thing I want

you to see about God's design.

349

So God designed love and

marriage and attraction.

350

It's his idea.

351

He created people to express

themselves as male or female from

352

the time that they were born, right?

353

From the time that they exist.

354

It could actually in conception.

355

What else?

356

Well, we already covered this.

357

He, you see there's, there's one

man and there's one woman, right?

358

There's, there's only two, right?

359

There's, there's, God did not design

there to be more than two people

360

in a romantic relationship, right?

361

So maybe you've heard.

362

Someone at school who says

something about a throuple

363

that's not part of God's design.

364

God designed romantic relationships

between one person and one

365

person, one male and one female.

366

So again, God designed marriage

between one man, one woman, right?

367

Two people, which again, hopefully

this is not news to you, but this

368

is very clear about what God says.

369

So this probably isn't new to you, and

this probably isn't shocking to you.

370

Hopefully.

371

But this has to be our starting place.

372

What does God say?

373

Right?

374

Because we have to start with

what does God say about this?

375

And then when, when we see an idea

right in the culture that's presented

376

to us that well, you know, why can't

one man and one man get married?

377

Or why can't a woman try to

express herself as a man?

378

Or why can't a woman be oriented towards

another woman in her attractions?

379

Then we say, well, what does God say?

380

This is what God's design for

marriage is, and his design for

381

attraction follows suit, right?

382

So I want you to be able to

clearly defend what God's design

383

for marriage, for marriage is.

384

Okay?

385

I want you to be able to be able to

articulate these things, to explain

386

these things to someone, okay?

387

But when you encounter an idea right

at school, when, when your teacher

388

or the book you're reading, or

you're a friend or your teammate.

389

Or that person you see on

social media presents an idea

390

that is against God's design.

391

I want you to be able

to see why it's wrong.

392

Okay, so that's our second point.

393

Address the sinfulness

of lgbtq plus thinking.

394

Address the sinfulness of it.

395

It's not just incorrect,

it's sinful, right?

396

It's not just misguided, it's sinful.

397

And this comes back to what

we define sin as, right?

398

What makes something sinful.

399

Now hopefully you know how to get here.

400

We're gonna go to Romans chapter one.

401

Okay.

402

Romans chapter one, and this is

where it's gonna be really helpful to

403

remember the stuff that we've talked

about for the past couple weeks.

404

Okay.

405

Romans chapter one is where.

406

Uh, we're gonna look.

407

Okay.

408

Romans chapter one.

409

So what makes something sinful?

410

What makes something sinful?

411

We talked about this

the past couple weeks.

412

What makes something sinful?

413

Well, what makes something sinful

is what it says about God, right?

414

That's what we learned from Romans one.

415

What makes something sinful

is what it says about God.

416

Romans one talks about how people

exchange God's glory for created things.

417

Romans one talks about how people

exchange the truth about God for a lie.

418

What makes something sinful

is what it says about God.

419

So the first reason that we're gonna

see that LGBTQ plus thinking is

420

sinful is because it's a rejection

of God and his good design.

421

It's a rejection of God

and his good design.

422

That's what the Bible says.

423

So look with me at the first.

424

We're gonna look at Romans 1 21 to 23.

425

Okay?

426

Romans 1, 21 to 23.

427

So like we talked about,

we see these people, right?

428

Romans one is talking about, about

people, and it says they knew God.

429

They didn't honor God.

430

They didn't honor him as God.

431

They didn't thank him, but

instead they, so they knew about

432

him, but they rejected him.

433

And so they started to,

to think a different way.

434

They started to.

435

To think, well, God's not worth

honoring, God's not worth glorifying,

436

God's not worth living for.

437

And they thought they were really smart

about it, but instead they became foolish.

438

'cause they, like we said,

they fell for the trap.

439

Right?

440

They fell for the trap of

sin is better than God.

441

So they're foolish.

442

They, they made a bad trade, right?

443

They, they made a bad trade.

444

They fell for it and they, they traded

God and all the joy that he gives them.

445

And they said, we want this.

446

Worst thing instead.

447

And that's foolish, right?

448

That's, that's dumb to do that to,

to give up God for sin as foolish.

449

You're making a bad trade.

450

So what do they do?

451

Why was that foolish?

452

They exchanged the glory of the

immoral God for images resembling.

453

All of these created things

that aren't as good as God.

454

That's what these three verses are saying.

455

So we know where this is gonna go, right?

456

We know that the next word is therefore,

and then it starts talking about

457

this spiral, and that's where we.

458

Ran into the topic of homosexuality.

459

So the, the core issue with L-G-B-T-Q

thinking or desires is not that it's bad.

460

The core issue is not that, well, it used

461

The core issue is not that the

Republican party votes against it.

462

That's not the, that's

not what's wrong with it.

463

What's wrong with it is

it's a rejection of God.

464

Because what you're doing, if you, if

you follow these sinful desires, you're

465

saying, God, I know you made me this way.

466

I know you made me to be a

man, and I don't want that.

467

That's not good for me.

468

I know better.

469

You see that?

470

See how it's, it's saying,

God, I'm smarter than you.

471

God, I know better than you.

472

God, I can make me happier than you can.

473

That's what you're saying to God.

474

What all sin is,

475

but especially this sin, these type

of desires and thinking, it's saying,

476

God, I know you made me this way.

477

I know you made people to work this way.

478

I know you made marriage to be this

way, but I think this way is better.

479

It's a rejection of God.

480

It's an it's lack of trust in God.

481

It's saying, God, I don't

trust you to make me happy.

482

I'm gonna go my own way

because my way is better.

483

It's rebellion against God, it's rejection

of God just like every other sin.

484

You understand that, right?

485

This is not really that different.

486

Your, your friends at school or

your classmates who believe these

487

things, it's really just a more

obvious rebellion against God, right?

488

It's, it's the same root cause

as your sin and as my sin.

489

And that's what's so cool

about Romans one, right?

490

Is it, it puts all of

us in the same bucket.

491

We all reject God.

492

All sin is a rejection of God.

493

All sin is a rebellion against God and

saying, God, you're not good enough.

494

I want something else.

495

And that's the core issue.

496

So if you have a friend, right, who, who

says that, that they're gay, this, this

497

is their biggest problem, they reject God.

498

Their biggest problem is not

who they're attracted to.

499

Their biggest problem is not

that they think they're a girl

500

when they're actually a boy.

501

That's not their biggest problem.

502

Their biggest problem is

they don't love Jesus.

503

They think Jesus is boring,

lame, unhelpful, useless,

504

not glorious.

505

Right.

506

Not worth their time, not worth

following, not worth living for.

507

That's their biggest problem.

508

And that's everyone's

biggest problem, right?

509

That's my biggest problem.

510

That's your biggest

problem, is we, we think.

511

We think God is lame.

512

We go worship other things and

ask other things to make us happy.

513

So that's the biggest problem.

514

So if you're ever talking about

this someone, or thinking through

515

issues like this, remember that

that's the biggest problem.

516

That's what's, what makes it

sinful, is what it says about God.

517

So the second thing.

518

That makes this sinful.

519

Is it redefines goodness and love, right?

520

We saw that in one John that God is

love, but, but with these people who

521

believe these things or, or maybe some

of your classmates or maybe even some

522

of you who, who believe these things

say, well actually this is what's good.

523

This is what's love.

524

I know God said this is good.

525

I know God said this is how

love works, but actually I

526

think this is how it should go,

527

and we see that.

528

And we keep going in our

passage in Romans verse 24.

529

Now, therefore, God gave them up in the

lust of their hearts to impurity, to

530

dishonoring their bodies among themselves.

531

He's talking about, oh, immorality

here, because they exchange

532

the truth about God for a lie.

533

You see that they redefine something.

534

They say, I know this is true, but

actually I'm gonna believe this Instead.

535

There's a, there's an exchange there

of, well, I, God said this is loving,

536

but actually I think this is loving.

537

I know God said this is good, but

actually I think this is good and it's

538

the same root cause for all of us, right?

539

All of our sin starts that way too.

540

Proverbs talks about there's, it

says, there's a proverb that says

541

there's a way that seems right to a

man, but at its end it leads to death.

542

That's all of us.

543

Right?

544

Last week we talked about the

illustration of the wolf licking

545

the knife until it dies and chokes

on its own blood and bleeds out

546

'cause it thinks it's eating food.

547

It, it thinks it's living

and it's really dying.

548

That's the same sinful thinking

that our sin is caused by, and

549

that this sin is caused by.

550

It's, I think this is good

for me, and it's really not.

551

It's really gonna kill you.

552

So that's the second

reason that it's sinful.

553

The third reason is it

redefines our identity by our

554

feelings and not by God's word.

555

It says, I am who I am because of how I

feel, not because of who God says I am.

556

I heard one person this

week, this is really helpful.

557

They said that, um, LGBTQ plus, right?

558

Whether you say you're bisexual or you

say you're asexual or queer or whatever,

559

that doesn't describe who you are.

560

It describes how you feel.

561

You see the difference there.

562

It's not who you are.

563

That's how you feel.

564

That's not your identity.

565

That's how you feel.

566

Just like.

567

Any other sin, right?

568

Just because you feel that way

doesn't mean that's who you are.

569

So

570

it redefines our identity by our

feelings and not by God's word.

571

And that's what we see here, right?

572

I see.

573

See this word passions here,

passion, passions, that's

574

desires, that's things you want.

575

So these people, they say, well, this is

what I want, so this must be who I am.

576

You see how that that logic goes, this

is how I feel, so this must be who I am.

577

This is what I want, so

this must be how I am.

578

Now, what we don't realize

is that we're all sinful.

579

We all want bad things, and

so we all want bad things.

580

And so we, if we define ourselves

by those bad desires, then obviously

581

we're gonna follow a really bad path.

582

So we can't define

ourselves by our feelings.

583

We have to define

ourselves by what God says.

584

And now the last thing.

585

Is that these desires

are inherently sinful.

586

The desire itself is sinful,

587

so to be attracted to someone of

the same biological sex is sinful.

588

That desire is a bad desire, and so there

is no God glorifying way to express.

589

That's the fourth thing that's

that's wrong with this is there's

590

no God glorifying way to express

a desire that's inherently sinful.

591

Just like if someone had a

desire to murder someone,

592

there's no good way to do that.

593

You could say the same thing about if

someone had a desire to cheat on their

594

wife, there's no good way to do that.

595

There's no God-honoring

way to express that desire.

596

Same thing with these type of desires.

597

If, if you, if someone has that desire to

a, maybe it's just a romantic attraction.

598

Maybe it's not physical attraction,

maybe it's just romantic attraction.

599

For, for if you're a girl, you have a

romantic attraction to another girl,

600

that's a sinful desire and there's

no God honoring way to express that.

601

You can't feel that for the goalie of God.

602

That's not something, that's

not something you can feel and,

603

and honor God while doing so.

604

The desire itself is a sinful desire.

605

Why?

606

Well, because all these things, it,

it goes against God's design, right?

607

It's saying, God, I know you made me

to be oriented this way, but actually

608

I'm gonna be oriented this way.

609

You're saying, God, the, the

orientation that you say in

610

your word is actually not good.

611

That's why it's a sinful desire.

612

It redefines goodness.

613

It says, well, I, I know you

define this to be good for me,

614

this orientation or this identity.

615

I actually don't want that.

616

I want this identity or

this orientation instead.

617

So it's a rejection of God.

618

It's redefining what love is and it's

saying, it's, it's, again, these two

619

things kind of bleed into this, right?

620

So that's what's wrong with it, right?

621

That's what's sinful about these desires.

622

That's what's sinful about, um, redefining

what love for someone looks like.

623

Because you can't love someone in a sinful

way because again, love is from God.

624

Love is God's idea.

625

God can't love you in a sinful way.

626

Love can't be like real love

can't be expressed in a sinful way

627

because it's, it's God's thing.

628

So it's really not love if it's sinful.

629

So if two people are loving each

other in a sinful way, they're not

630

really loving each other, right?

631

They are actually being

bad for each other.

632

Which then isn't loving.

633

'cause if I'm being bad for

you, I'm not loving you.

634

If, if I'm being bad for

you, that's not love.

635

I should stop love.

636

I should stop loving you in that way and

actually love you by being good for you.

637

So

638

I want you to be clear about

what God says right in his word.

639

And I want you to be confident

that it's a good thing.

640

That it's actually this being,

like feeling this way is

641

actually really bad for someone.

642

Just like being anxious is

really bad for someone, right?

643

It, it, it stinks.

644

It's not good for you

645

or having impure thoughts

isn't good for you.

646

In the same way these kind of desires

and this I try to identify yourself by

647

these type of ideas is not good for you.

648

It's, it's sinful.

649

Um, and so I want you to, to love

people enough to be clear about that

650

and to not be embarrassed, right?

651

You wouldn't be embarrassed.

652

So people a lot of times worry about

my health because I love Mountain Dew.

653

I love Mountain Dew.

654

I think Mountain Dew is like

the greatest thing ever.

655

And so a lot of people will tell

me, Hey, you shouldn't drink that.

656

You know, that's banned in Europe.

657

Like, you shouldn't do that, right?

658

You shouldn't drink that.

659

There's no way that's good for

you because they love me, right?

660

They season, they see me

drinking something bad for me and

661

they're like, Hey, I love you.

662

So don't do that.

663

Right?

664

I hope, I hope that, that if,

if you have maybe friends.

665

Who believe these things are good for

them, that you're loving enough to

666

be able to tell them, you know what,

that's really not gonna make you happy.

667

That's really not good for you.

668

'cause if you really love someone,

you are going to be clear about that

669

and you're gonna be confident that you

know what, this really is good for you.

670

So I wanna tell you what is good for you.

671

That's following God's design, right?

672

Having an orientation that God gave you.

673

Rather than the orientation that you

feel or having the, or embracing the,

674

the gender that God made you as not the

one that you feel like you should be.

675

That's what's best for someone.

676

So this last few minutes here,

I want to prepare you for

677

loving and wise conversations.

678

Okay.

679

I want to give you just, we're

gonna walk through some, like a few

680

common questions that people have.

681

About this that you might have about this.

682

Um, and hopefully this will help

you engage in conversations.

683

Now remember, these conversations need

to be loving and they need to be wise.

684

So if you're just gonna walk

around telling people that

685

they're terrible people, that's

not loving and that's not wise.

686

If you're just gonna argue

with people that's not loving

687

and that's not wise, right?

688

We want to.

689

Be loving about this.

690

We want to actually care about the people.

691

We don't just wanna be right.

692

We want to be thoughtful and and

compassionate with how we talk about

693

what God says, because Christians have

a very bad reputation for how they talk

694

about this topic, because a lot of times

Christians don't do this very well.

695

So I want you, I want you to

help you do this well, but I

696

also want you to be clear, right?

697

And sometimes when you're clear,

people are gonna take that

698

as unloving, and that's okay.

699

Right?

700

They're.

701

As you know, someone recently in part

got shot because of this believing stuff

702

like this and saying stuff like this.

703

And so some people will just not

want to hear it, and that's okay.

704

But some common questions that you

might have or you might run into first

705

one, isn't outta my control, right?

706

It's not my fault.

707

I, I'm, I'm the way that

I am, it's not my fault.

708

How can God tell me to be someone I'm not?

709

How can God tell me to feel a certain way?

710

How come this is the way I am?

711

Well, the first thing I want you to think

about is that all sinful desires come to

712

us naturally because we're all born and

sinners, all of our hearts are sinful.

713

Jeremiah 17 says that your heart

is deceitful and desperately sick.

714

James four says that your desires

are at war within you, and all your

715

sins come from your bad desires.

716

So every sinful desire comes from

our hearts because of who we are.

717

We are sinful people.

718

Our hearts are very bad.

719

They are very sinful.

720

They are inherently opposed to God,

opposed to to what God says, and we

721

don't want to love God initially.

722

So.

723

In a sense, every sinful desire is

724

natural to you because you're born in sin.

725

You're born with a sinful heart, so

you are wired to want sinful things.

726

So it shouldn't be surprising

when you, when someone who's not

727

a Christian wants sinful things,

because that's how their heart is.

728

Their heart is.

729

Wired to want sin.

730

Does that make sense?

731

If it doesn't make sense, you

can shake your head and I can

732

explain it a different way.

733

That's okay.

734

Right?

735

But you're so, however, scripture is clear

that we are responsible for those sinful

736

desires because we really want them.

737

Because like you're responsible for,

for your anger because you really

738

did hate that person in the moment.

739

Like you really wanted that.

740

You really wanted bad things to

happen to them and you really did

741

hate them, and that's, that's sinful

because you actually wanted it.

742

So yes.

743

In a sense that, did you, did you

like intentionally think, you know

744

what, I'm gonna be born in sin and I'm

gonna want sinful things and whatever.

745

No, but you really did want

those things and so Yes.

746

Maybe it's not something

that you asked for, right?

747

Maybe someone's.

748

Someone's attraction to the wrong,

the wrong gender that God didn't

749

design them to be attracted to could

be something they didn't ask for.

750

They didn't wake.

751

Maybe they didn't wake up one

day and say, you know what?

752

I'm gonna reject God's design and I'm

going to be attracted to the same gender.

753

Maybe they didn't ask for that and decide

that, but if they really want it, then

754

that's them having a sinful desire.

755

Just like if, if you compare

it to impure thoughts, right?

756

You don't necessarily say, you know what?

757

I really want to have these impure

thoughts, but you really do want them, or

758

coveting, or anxiety or whatever, right?

759

You don't necessarily say, oh, I

really want these impure thoughts or

760

these anxious thoughts, but you really

do feel them and they really are

761

something that comes from your heart.

762

So.

763

We are responsible for those desires.

764

We might not always know why we feel the

way we do, but we are responsible for

765

our response to those desires, right?

766

What you do with what you

feel is your responsibility.

767

If you have a sinful feeling,

you're, you're accountable for

768

what you do with that feeling.

769

Do you feed it and embrace it,

or do you take it to the Lord

770

and ask him to help you kill it?

771

So that's the first thing, is

you're responsible for your.

772

Response to your sinful desires.

773

But then, right.

774

You might have heard this one.

775

What if my desires or my orientation

isn't hurting anyone else?

776

Right?

777

Maybe you heard this one.

778

Why can't those two people just love each

other the way they want to and move on?

779

Well, first of all, right,

what makes sin a sin?

780

What it says about God?

781

So does sin have to hurt

anyone else for it to be a sin?

782

No.

783

Right if, if you decide to, to go

be Hindu and live in a monastery

784

for the rest of your life.

785

By yourself?

786

Are you hurting anyone?

787

Not necessarily.

788

Are you sinning?

789

Yes, you're worshiping a false

God, you are rejecting God.

790

So just because it doesn't hurt anyone

else, doesn't mean it's not sinful

791

because it's a rejection of God.

792

It's a rejection of his goodness,

his design and all that.

793

Now, what about this one, right?

794

This is probably the most

common one you've heard.

795

What if two people really love each other?

796

Why can't they be together?

797

Two people.

798

They really love each other.

799

What if they're really nice to each other?

800

They're really kind to each other.

801

Maybe they're really good for

each other, all that stuff.

802

Well, first of all, like we talk

about what is love right now you're

803

all singing the song in your head.

804

Do these people really love each other?

805

If they're loving each

other in a sinful way?

806

No, they don't.

807

They don't really love each other

according to God's definition of love.

808

They're affirming someone's sin, right?

809

They're saying, oh yeah, you're sinning.

810

That's great.

811

Let's do that together.

812

That's not loving, that's actually

hating someone because you're

813

saying, you know that thing that's

gonna kill you and send you to hell.

814

Let's keep doing that.

815

That's not a good, that's

not a way to love someone.

816

So just because two people really

like each other and want to be

817

together doesn't mean they should.

818

And, and you can say the same thing

about God's design for marriage, right?

819

God designed two people

to stay married, right?

820

To not get divorced.

821

That was God's intended design.

822

So that's why if, if you get married,

you can't just be like, oh, well I don't

823

feel like loving this person anymore.

824

I'm just gonna leave and

start loving someone else.

825

Well, what if we really love each other?

826

Well, that's a bad feeling.

827

That's a sinful feeling, right?

828

You wouldn't want your parents to

do that, or if your parents have,

829

it's been really hard for you.

830

That's why you just 'cause you

feel something doesn't mean

831

it's a good feeling, right?

832

You have to evaluate your

feelings by what God says.

833

Now this one can be really fun.

834

Can I be LGBTQ plus and

still be a Christian?

835

So

836

the question I would ask then is.

837

Can you embrace your sinful

identity and embrace Jesus as

838

your treasure and your Lord?

839

No.

840

Right?

841

Just like there's no adulterous

Christians, there's no murdering

842

Christians, there's no coveting Christian.

843

You can't identify yourself by your

sin and say, oh yeah, I'm with Jesus.

844

Right?

845

You can't love your sin

and say, I follow God.

846

Scripture is is clear, right?

847

Like we talked about.

848

God has a good design and any desires

outside of that design are sinful

849

because they're bad for you, right?

850

They'll kill you.

851

They don't make you happy, and so

852

you can't embrace Jesus and

embrace your sin, right?

853

Jesus says you can't serve two masters.

854

So that's, there's a very

clear answer to that.

855

But what about this one?

856

I'm a Christian, but I

struggle with these desires.

857

Am I just always

displeasing God right now?

858

Maybe you've heard that before.

859

It's like, well, can this person

ever become a Christian if they

860

just, this is just the way they are.

861

They have these desires.

862

Well, I would ask you the same question.

863

When you became a Christian, did

all your sinful desires go away?

864

No.

865

So what does this mean then?

866

Right?

867

What does struggle mean?

868

Right.

869

Because a lot of times we say,

I'm struggling with something,

870

and what does that mean?

871

It means I'm getting beat up by it

and I'm just giving into my sin.

872

That's not struggling.

873

There's no struggling going on.

874

You're getting, you're

getting beat up, right?

875

It's kinda like, you know, in sports

when they say there's a rivalry game.

876

It's really just like one team

always beating the other team.

877

That's not a rivalry.

878

There's no rivalry there.

879

Right.

880

There's like recently, right, there's

been some, some rivalry games.

881

Like the, the Ravens were playing

the Browns, right, and it's a rivalry

882

game, and it was like 41 to 17.

883

That's not a rivalry.

884

I'm sorry.

885

Like when was the last time

the Browns beat the Ravens?

886

I have no idea.

887

Right.

888

Not, or like remember the, the Dolphins

and the Patriots, or, no, not Dolphins.

889

Actually.

890

Dolphins beat the Patriots.

891

But like the, the Bills

and the Patriots, right?

892

The Patriots won that game for like.

893

13 years in a row.

894

That's not a rivalry.

895

I'm not, no, we're not going there.

896

Um,

897

so again, if, if you're a professing

Christian, or you know, someone

898

who's a professing Christian and they

struggle with these desires, are they

899

struggling or are they embracing them?

900

'cause here's what we remember we

talked about with this question.

901

Are they embracing those desires and

saying, oh, I, I wanna keep these?

902

Or are they saying I hate these?

903

And I'm asking God to help me kill them.

904

Those are two very

different things, right?

905

Are you at war with those desires

or are you feeding those desires?

906

Are you at peace with those?

907

Just like as a regular Christian,

you have sinful desires, but

908

what you do with them matters.

909

Are you killing them or

are you giving into them?

910

Same thing here, right?

911

Am I stuck constantly, displeasing God

because I have a, a wrong orientation?

912

Maybe someone who feels these things

is asking, well, are you Christian?

913

Constantly displeasing God because

you still covet, or you're still

914

anxious, or you still lust?

915

This is where the gospel comes in, right?

916

The gospel is also for gay people,

for lesbian people, for bisexual

917

people, for transgender people, for

queer people, for asexual people, for

918

pansexual people, for whatever, right?

919

The gospel.

920

For those people because just like any

other Christian, if, if having sinful

921

desires made you displeasing to God,

would anyone ever be pleasing to God?

922

No.

923

Jesus righteousness makes

you pleasing to God.

924

So if, if someone who struggles with these

desires says, I repent of these things,

925

I'm not the way I'm supposed to be.

926

I'm I, I don't feel the

things I'm supposed to feel.

927

I'm messed up.

928

I need, I, I, I'm guilty of my sin.

929

I need a savior.

930

I need Jesus to give me his righteousness

'cause I'm not good enough and I need

931

Jesus to pay for my debt because I do

terrible things and I feel the wrong

932

things and I think the wrong things.

933

I need Jesus to pay for those sins.

934

And they put their trust

in Jesus to do that.

935

And they turn from they sin and they

say, that's not who I want to be anymore.

936

I wanna live God's way.

937

God's design is better.

938

I trust him.

939

He's my king.

940

He's my shepherd.

941

I wanna follow him.

942

And they go to war with these

desires every day and say, I love

943

Jesus more than I love my sin.

944

That's what every Christian does.

945

That's how every Christian lives.

946

I hope that's, if you're a

professing Christian, I hope

947

that's how you're living.

948

So

949

just because you have sinful desires

doesn't mean you can never be a Christian.

950

But if you are just following your

sinful desires everywhere they take you,

951

you're probably not a Christian, just

like we'd say for any sinful desire.

952

Right?

953

Same thing.

954

So

955

I hope this was helpful for

you asking these questions.

956

Um, if you're talking with someone at

school about this or whatever, right?

957

And you don't have to like go

looking for people to talk to.

958

I'm not asking you to do that.

959

Um, but if this comes up in a conversation

and someone asks you a question.

960

And you're not sure how

to answer it, guess what?

961

It's okay to say.

962

I don't know.

963

Let me get back to you.

964

Just like with any question, if someone

asks you some random apologetics question

965

you don't know about, I don't know.

966

Let me get back to you.

967

Let me, and talk to your leader about it.

968

Talk to your parents about it.

969

Talk to me about it.

970

But this hopefully was a, it

was helpful for you to see,

971

okay, here's what God says.

972

Here's why this is wrong, and

here are maybe some things that

973

can help you think through it.

974

Okay.

975

What I want you to see with

all of this is that our goal is

976

to, to see people love Jesus.

977

To see people trust him, right?

978

Our goal is not to just tell

people that they're sinners.

979

The reason we tell people that they're,

they're, they're sinners is because we

980

love them and we want them to turn from

their sin and trust in Jesus because Jesus

981

is amazing, and having a relationship

with Jesus is the, the best thing ever.

982

So

983

I hope that this wasn't just

you hearing, okay, this is bad.

984

Don't worry about it.

985

Right.

986

That's not, I'm not in those

shoes, so forget about it.

987

Right.

988

I hope for you, this is okay.

989

This is, this is why God's design is good.

990

I'm not embarrassed about it.

991

I'm, I'm not ashamed to, to talk about

it if it comes up, but I hope also you

992

see that this is, this is really a,

just like any sin, it's a gospel issue.

993

The, the gospel is.

994

For all types of sinners,

995

no matter what those sins are.

996

And Jesus' righteousness is

necessary for every sinner.

997

And Jesus' death pays for every sin.

998

And so, um, our goal is to see people

trust Jesus and to turn from their sin

999

and love him and live his way because

his way is the best way to live.

00:50:11,980 --> 00:50:12,310

So.

00:50:12,759 --> 00:50:14,470

We're gonna go talk about this

in small groups, so let's pray

00:50:15,220 --> 00:50:17,109

and we'll head over there.

00:50:20,529 --> 00:50:25,389

God, we are grateful that you love us

enough to tell us what's wrong with us.

00:50:25,930 --> 00:50:31,660

Um, we don't often appreciate that about

you, but we're grateful that you show

00:50:31,660 --> 00:50:34,149

us, um, what's good and what's not good.

00:50:34,720 --> 00:50:38,410

And so I pray that you help

us to love the right things.

00:50:39,025 --> 00:50:42,444

Help us to feel the right way

about who you are and what you say.

00:50:42,835 --> 00:50:49,134

I pray that we wouldn't be embarrassed

about, um, how you made people and

00:50:49,134 --> 00:50:53,275

how you made things to, how you

made your, your people to interact

00:50:53,275 --> 00:50:54,265

and to relate to each other.

00:50:54,325 --> 00:50:57,715

I pray that you help us to be

loving towards people who might,

00:50:58,105 --> 00:51:01,375

um, struggle with these desires or

might embrace this type of thinking.

00:51:01,465 --> 00:51:04,315

And I pray that we would

love them enough to.

00:51:06,535 --> 00:51:07,495

Tell them about you.

00:51:07,525 --> 00:51:11,905

And I pray for anyone here who

maybe does struggle with these types

00:51:11,905 --> 00:51:15,925

of desires and, and thinking that

I pray that you help them to see

00:51:15,925 --> 00:51:18,145

that you have a good plan for them.

00:51:18,355 --> 00:51:23,575

That you don't, that you love them

enough to offer them salvation.

00:51:23,725 --> 00:51:26,245

And you care so much about their

joy and their happiness even more

00:51:26,245 --> 00:51:31,765

than they do, and that they would

put their trust in you to, um, to

00:51:31,765 --> 00:51:32,870

have eternal life with you forever.

00:51:33,519 --> 00:51:34,450

We pray this in Jesus name.

00:51:34,689 --> 00:51:34,959

Amen.