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7 Steps to Manage Stress - The Demartini Show
Episode 9420th August 2021 • The Demartini Show • Dr John Demartini
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Nearly 2 years into the pandemic, many people feel that the number 1 issue they are dealing with is persistent high levels of stress. And living with long term unmanaged stress can have an impact on all aspects of your life, your relationships, your health, your sense of wellbeing and your vitality.

So if you’re in a position where you’re aware that you’re carrying stress day to day, then this episode will be perfect to give you some practical tips to help you immediately manage and reduce your stress. Learn more about the 2 types of stress and 7 simple steps you can take to manage stress and adapt to your ever-changing environment.

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Transcripts

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There's only two forms of distress in life.

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The perception of loss of that which you seek,

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the perception of gain of that which you're trying to avoid. That's it.

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Every distress you have in any area of life,

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it's going to be boiled down to that.

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I'm a firm believer that an individual that is

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clear with what they're dedicated to,

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we could call it our chief aim, we could call it our mission,

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we could call it our purpose,

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we could call it our primary objective,

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but an individual that is really crystal clear about what they want to dedicate

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their energies in life to, and so they have a clear focus,

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tend to achieve more and reduce their stress levels.

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So the first step of the seven steps that I'm going to outline,

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is taking the time to really crystallize and

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clarify, what are you really committed to in life? What are you really,

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what's on the big bucket list that you know you want to commit to and get done?

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Now,

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many of you have listened to my presentation before

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presentation without discussing values.

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If you have not taken the time to go on my website and take advantage of a

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complimentary, private, free,

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value determination process, please consider doing that.

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Go online and answer the questions,

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there's 13 questions that will help you determine what you're

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spontaneously are inspired to do from within.

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What you intrinsically feel called to do.

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Identifying what this really the highest priority is,

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the highest value you have in your life is where your purpose

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is aiming. Your highest value was called by Aristotle the telos.

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And that's the chief aim. That's the primary objective. That's the end in mind.

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Anyone who is able to clarify what that is and get concise on

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what that is and write that out and know what they're committed to,

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is going to have less distress in life than somebody who's wandering around

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aimlessly and emotionally

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and perturbed by all the impulses and instincts of

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pleasures and pains that are around you and all the bombarding.

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See if we don't empower our own life,

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people around us impose on them on our lives things that distract

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us.

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If we don't empower ourselves with a mission that encompasses all areas,

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we automatically get distracted by people overruling us.

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Any area of our life we don't empower people over power in other words.

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And those over empowering distractions are part of our stress.

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Part of our distress in life is because we're getting sidetracked by people

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trying to sell us something, or people trying to expect something,

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or emotional blackmailing individuals with opportunists,

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trying to distract your time, instead of being clear about what it is.

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Because when you are very, very clear about what you're committed to,

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it's easier to say no to things that aren't priority. So go online,

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do the Demartini Value Determination process. Do it again a week from now,

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a month from now, a quarter from now, and do it every quarter,

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and keep current with what you spontaneously are inspired to do,

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because your very highest value is where you're really truly inspired from

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within, spontaneously to act upon.

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That's where you have the greatest fulfillment.

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That's where you're greatest creativity.

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That's where you have the greatest resilience.

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That's where you have the greatest adaptability.

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See distress is the inability to adapt to a changing environment.

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And any time you're not living by the highest priority, the highest value,

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you're automatically going to increase the probability of distress and

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distraction.

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When you're living by your highest values you activate your blood glucose and

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oxygen activates the forebrain, the medial prefrontal cortex,

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the executive center, where you have self-governance, you're not distracted,

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not distressed, most resilient, most inspired, most empowered,

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most broadened in your awareness. The broader your awareness,

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the more you see things neither good nor evil.

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The narrower the awareness you have,

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the more you see things good and evil and the more you're attracted and repelled

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and distracted by your amygdala.

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So the first of the principles is defined clearly what you're

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committed to, what's really most deeply meaningful, the calling in life,

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your primary objective or mission in life.

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I defined mine when I was 17 years old. I'll be 67 here in a few months so,

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that gives you an idea, it's nearly 50 years.

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So I can tell you right now that that really does reduce the aging

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process, the stressing process and the distraction process.

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So number one is define clearly what it is you do.

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Start with what you know and let what you know grow on how you define that.

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Start with what you know you're committed to.

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When I first wrote mine at 17 I knew I wanted to travel the world,

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I knew I wanted to overcome my learning problems,

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I knew I wanted to become a teacher, I knew I wanted to learn to read,

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and I just wrote out the things I was committed to.

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And then I just kept reading it and refining it, reading it and refining it,

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and reading it and refining it,

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until right now I have the 79th edition of that statement that's

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updated, that's very thorough, it's very clear.

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And if you look at my life it matches it,

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I'm expressing that clear vision. So,

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identify your mission and your vision, identify your purpose and your calling.

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Those with a mission have a vision. And those with a vision flourish,

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those without a vision, perish.

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So get crystal clear on what it is you're committed to in life,

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what's really deeply, most important to you.

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That could be raising a beautiful family,

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that could be creating an amazing business, that could be some social cause,

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that could be some physical fitness or spiritual aspect of your life.

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There's no rules about what it is. There's no right.

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Don't compare yourself to somebody else. Don't subordinate to anybody else.

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Just dig deep inside and get an intrinsic yearning inside for what's important

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that you want to dedicate your life to and crystallize what it is that you're,

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what you really up to. And look, cause your life demonstrates it.

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Look at what your life demonstrates every day that you spontaneously do that

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nobody has to remind you to do and that'll be a great idea of what your mission

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is in life. Mine's teaching, I do it every single day.

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So that's the first step. Number two is,

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then live by priority. Ask yourself on a daily basis;

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what is the highest priority actions or highest priority action

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I can do today to fulfill that mission?

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If you live by highest priority and you activate the executive center,

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you have self-governance, you have discipline, you're reliable,

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you're focused and you're least likely to be distracted and distressed.

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You're literally on fire with enthusiasm, inspired, present,

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certain about your goals, and inspired and

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grateful for your life and loving what you're doing when you're living by

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priority.

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If you don't fill your day with the highest priority actions that inspire you,

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your day is designed to fill up with low priority distractions that don't.

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So, take command of your life. Like I said,

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if you don't design your life,

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you're going to live by duty and duty means subordinating to the world around

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you instead of designing and ruling the world around you.

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You're either a creature or a creator.

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A creature is somebody that's living by duty and living in a conformity and

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trying to please people out of a disempowered state and being inspired is

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basically leading the way.

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You're either following a culture or leading a culture. Build a culture.

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If you do, you'll be an unborrowed visionary. But live by priority.

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Ask yourself a single day. I learned that from Mary Kay from Mary Kay cosmetics,

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36/7 years ago, ask yourself;

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what is the highest priority actions I can do today to help me fulfill my

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mission? Or number one, Gary Keller says the one thing,

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find that one thing that you do, that you want to be masterful at.

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Mine is teaching. So I research every single day and I teach every day.

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And if you do that and you put in your thousands and thousands of hours in that

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you become momentum building leader in that area. And that is guarantee,

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is going to reduce the distress levels in your life.

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So prioritize your life,

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ask yourself what is the highest priority action I can do today that can help me

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fulfill my mission of service in the world?

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And make sure your mission is one of service too,

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because there's no fulfillment if you're doing something without also

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contributing. I always say, your deserve level's based on your serve level.

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The more you actually make a contribution and do something that's sustainable,

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fair transaction with people and have some sort of an income, and outcome,

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the more fulfilled you are in life.

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And that's why living by priority and fulfilling a mission of service is

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crucial to a mastered life and definitely a de-stressed life.

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The third thing. So number two is priority. Living by priority,

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prioritize your life and live by the highest priorities you can.

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Anytime you live by your highest priorities, your self worth goes up.

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Anytime you live by lower priorities your self worth goes down.

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So if you want your self worth to go up and you want to be a leader,

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you want to end up having more resilience and adaptability,

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prioritize your life.

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Because if you don't fill your day with challenges that inspire you and

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priorities that you want to go for,

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your day is going to fill up with challenges that don't, distractions.

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Number three, delegate.

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There's no way you can live an inspired and distressed freed life without

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delegating the lower priority things.

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Anytime you're doing things because you feel like you have to, got to, must,

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should, supposed to, et cetera, you're not living by design,

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you're living by duty and you're living by other people's expectations.

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And you're trapping yourself in time and not liberating yourself to do the

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highest priority things that produce the most results to change the world.

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So delegate lower priority things and delegate it to people who are

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qualified others that are inspired to spontaneously do what you want to

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delegate.

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If you surround yourself with people that are inspired by what they do,

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on all the things you don't want to do, that are not highest on your priorities,

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so you can get onto higher priority things,

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you have the freedom to liberate yourself and lift yourself up.

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You know, I don't do much of anything. I delegate most everything. You know,

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I'm a firm believer that it's wise to do what I do, which is research, teach,

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write. That's it. I travel a bit. I'm on my home right now,

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where I'm about to travel tonight.

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And so I'm a firm believer that if you fill your day with the most inspiring

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things and delegate the rest, you liberate yourself from a lot of distress.

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A lot of stuff that people think they've got to do, they don't have to do it.

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They can hire somebody to do it. When you stop and think about it,

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all you have to do is go and do something that serves ever greater numbers of

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people, earn greater numbers of income,

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and then all of a sudden you can surround yourself with people to delegate all

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the other stuff. But if you don't care about humanity enough to serve people,

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there's no income and there's no delegation and you're trapped and that's

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self-imposed.

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There's no outside things stopping you from doing something extraordinary.

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Its simply you not willing to clarify what your mission is,

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prioritize your daily action and delegate the lower priority stuff.

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I learned that when I was 27 years old and I never went back.

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I haven't written a check since I was 27.

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I don't do all the administrative management, all that stuff.

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I just delegate everything else except what I do and what I love

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doing most, which is research, writing, and teaching. So prioritize your life.

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Watch what happens. Your distress levels go down. You won't age as much.

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You won't be drained by doing low priority things.

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You devalue yourself every time you go to lower value items on your list.

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And you value yourself and when you value yourself so does the world.

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And the world will give you feedback.

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Every symptom that's going on in your life, physiologically, psychologically,

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sociologically,

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in business and every area of your life is a feedback to guide you back to

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authenticity. And your authentic self is where your mission is,

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and where your highest priority is.

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And that's why you want to delegate everything that's not you,

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to people who it's them. The fourth thing.

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Whenever you are in any way, emotional,

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which means distracted by impulses of things that you seek,

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the people trying to sell you ideas or whatever,

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impulses from shopping or something,

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or anything that you're districted from and avoid,

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anything that you're philic about or phobic about, seeking or avoiding,

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puts you in the amygdala. That's why you want to live by your highest priority,

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where you're most objective and most neutral, most adaptable.

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You're less distracted. But if you are, you've got the Demartini Method,

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which you can go on online.

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I have the Alchemy of The Mind video for you to train you on how to do that,

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or you come to the Breakthrough Experience and actually learn live right there

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how to do the Demartini Method or for those that want to use it and to help

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other people then go right onto the training program and learn how to apply

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that.

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It's a massively impactful tool that you use the rest of your life on how

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to dissolve distractions, dissolve all the distresses.

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I mean,

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I don't know of anything that your mortal body can experience that your immortal

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soul can't love,

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and the Demartini Method allows you to love and appreciate whatever happens,

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so it's on the way, not in the way. And when you're prioritizing,

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you want to make sure that you're prioritizing not only your actions,

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but your perceptions.

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And the way you prioritize your perception is by asking a great question;

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whatever's happening to me today,

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how's it helping me fulfill what's most important to me, my mission,

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my highest priority? If you ask that question and answer it, and don't say,

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'I don't know, I can't find it.' Look. Be accountable.

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And then you'll see it's all on the way. And then you're in the flow,

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in the zone. In tune, on time and on target with what's meaningful to you.

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When you do, less distress, less aging, more inspired,

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inspiration. So that's just something to think about.

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But the Demartini Method is a very powerful set of

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be conscious of the unconscious information that's distracting you,

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which I call ignorance.

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Ignorance is basically being ignoring of information to balance out your

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perceptions and therefore you're polarized. When you're infatuated,

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you're conscious the upsides, unconscious of the downsides,

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and pulled it with an impulse. When you're resentful,

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you're conscious of the downsides, unconscious of the upsides,

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and avoid with an instinct.

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And those are in the amygdala and they're your animal brain.

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And that's where you're in distress and survival. If you want to be in survival,

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live there. If you want to be in thrival, live by priority,

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get into the executive function, have self-governance, have clarity of vision,

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know your mission, strategically plan your life with foresight,

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and live by priority. That changes the game. I guarantee you.

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But if you are for some reason,

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accumulated in your subconscious mind a lot of baggage that you're distracted

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by, the Demartini Method is the fastest way I know to dissolve it.

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So come to the Breakthrough Experience or go online and get the Alchemy of The

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Mind or come to the training program and learn that tool.

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That tool is a gold mine I promise you. Anybody who's learned that tool,

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you can ask them, they'll tell you,

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that's one turning point in their life when they learn how to ask the right

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questions.

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The quality of your life's based on the quality of the questions you ask.

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If you ask questions that liberate you from the emotional baggage and assist you

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in living by priority and meaning, your life changes.

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The Demartini Method is a science of extracting meaning out of your existence.

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So you have the most fulfillment, most meaningful,

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the most inspiration in your life. So learn that,

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that's number four on the list of things to do.

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Number five, is basically how you eat.

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You want to eat not to live, I mean, to live not to eat, but eat to live.

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You want to basically not just sit there and going, 'Oh my God,

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look at that food, I gotta have that,

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that sweets.' and then have fluctuations in blood sugar.

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You want to ask yourself;

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what is the highest priority food that you can fill your body with?

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See if you have something really, really deeply important to do,

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that's really priority, that's truly meaningful,

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you are not going to blow your diet.

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You're going to be living wisely and eating highest priority foods to get the

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same and most amazing outcome.

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If you know that you've got a wedding coming up in five to 10 days,

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you know you're going to be eating wisely.

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When you've got a major function you're about to do and a performance about to

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do, you're not going to be blowing it. You're going to be disciplined.

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When you live your life by priority,

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you live your life with meaning and purpose,

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the highest priority and know what your clear vision is,

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you increase the probability of living, not to eat,

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but eat to live. And you perform more effectively.

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So you want to moderately eat, you want to find the things that work,

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you want to keep asking yourself, what's working, not working in your diet.

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That reduces your stress cause anything that causes volatility,

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sweets and stimulants and all that stuff, instead of water,

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water's the most universal solvent that reduces all the volatilities.

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Any volatility is going to shorten your lifespan and any volatility is going to

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add to your fluctuations in blood sugar,

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which can make you fluctuate in emotions,

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which are going to make you more distracted. You're not present.

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So you want to live wisely when you eat and supplement that with nutrition,

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because most of the foods today could be helped by good supplementation.

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I supplement with a multi-mineral multivitamin system by Bluebonnet,

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and that allows some added nutrients to get into the bloodstream and allows you

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to have more performance. So if you're eating wisely, you're eating moderately,

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you're eating with rhythm and consistency,

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and you're not doing two meals one day, and five meals the next,

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and arrhythmics, you automatically stay has your energy levels.

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You're more resilient, adaptable,

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and you're more likely to have the vitality to go do something extraordinary.

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So don't live to eat, eat to live.

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Eat to perform at your peak.

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The next one is adequate

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exercise and activities.

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And this is something that I don't think it's wise to go to extreme.

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I'm not a big extreme exercise buff. I think some of them,

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I've seen some people that look like they're 20 years older because they've

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oxidized their body with so much exercise.

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But I do believe that moderate exercise periodically is wise.

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A good walk, great. I always say that there's six basic exercises;

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walking, walking up inclined planes, like up a hill, swimming,

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dancing, right? Maybe yoga, I think that's,

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or maybe Tai Chi and maybe lovemaking.

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These are exercises that are pretty natural,

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that are universal across the world. And those are wise things to do,

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but moderately. You know,

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if you go to extremes and take it to extreme and you have arrhythmia in your

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exercise, again, you're going to oxidize and deoxidize.

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But I think a little bit of aerobics is wise, but not excessive.

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I've seen people go excessively into aerobics and I've seen them literally die

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early and age. But I think a moderate amount of exercises is wise.

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So if you do something, that's something you love doing.

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that's a spontaneous exercise,

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if you feel like you're having to force to do exercise, that's not the one,

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you know, I'm not a forced gym guy,

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but I enjoy a good jog sometimes.

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And I do some pushups and things and exercise and some calisthenics and stuff.

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I do it usually right there where I am.

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I don't even have to go to the gym necessarily.

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But whatever the exercise you love, it may be swimming,

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may be surfing like I love to do.

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Any exercise that is a natural thing that you spontaneously are looking forward

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to do, those are wise to do. Find the ones that you spontaneously love doing.

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You don't have to be reminded or forced to do it,

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or somebody to force you to do it. I'm not against having a mentor,

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maybe a trainer there, they keep you on your toes. That could be useful,

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but make sure you're doing something you really love to do. That's important.

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And the last one, the last one that's on

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the list of seven and that's rest. Make sure you get adequate rest.

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You need at least an hour a day don't you? People look at me and think,

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you know, 'how do you go?' I used to do for four hours a day,

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for 35 years I did four hours a day and people go, 'That's insane.

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How do you do that?' But that was all I needed. Now, today,

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I'm doing longer than that. I sleep more than that. But at the same time,

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whatever is adequate for you and you'll know, your body will tell you. You know,

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I know some people that do eight hours a day, they can't function except eight.

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I know other people do four and they do fine.

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They got more energy and they're 75 years old and doing four hours.

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So I don't know what that amount is.

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I know the research says seven or eight hours or whatever,

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but I don't find that always the truth.

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I find some people do incredibly well on less hours,

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but you need something of rest because if you don't get adequate rest, you tend,

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and don't drink enough water and you've gum yourself up with sweets and drinks

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and toffees and teas and stuff like that,

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your lymphatic system and your brain will tend to accumulate toxic protein

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debris,

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and you'll end up paying a price on the aging process and maybe have some

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neurodegenerative things. So get a little adequate rest.

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I think that there's all different types of rests. You can do meditational rest.

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You can actually lay down and rest, right?. Typical sleep process.

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But there's many forms of rest and that doesn't have to be the classical form.

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I found meditation sometimes is actually more powerful than doing rest

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in the sleeping process. And because I travel quite extensively,

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I'll maybe meditate very intensely for an hour or so like that,

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and that's like two hours of sleep sometimes.

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But whatever it is that's adequate, you'll know because your performance,

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your mind will be clear, you'll have more energy, you won't be distracted,

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you' won't be yawning all the time.

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You'll know what it is because that reduces the distress level.

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You know that if you go to bed really distressed by something,

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it's wiser to do the Demartini Method and clear it,

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it's wiser to do a gratitude exercise and think about what you're grateful for

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and change, anytime you're in a state of gratitude,

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you go up in the executive center and you tend to be more balanced in your

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thinking. But if you are distressed,

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the rest helps you sort through it at night.

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It takes all the edge off things and you wake up,

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you're more able to see more of a balance. But if you can ask questions,

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however what's happening, there's only two forms of distress in life;

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the perception of loss of that which you seek,

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the perception of gain of that what you're trying to avoid. That's it,

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every distress you have in any area of life,

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it's going to be boiled down to that. Again.

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The perception of loss of that which you seek and the perception of gain of that

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which you try to avoid. And any time,

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that's why the Demartini Method is so powerful because what it does is it

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neutralizes those polarities and those extreme absolute belief systems.

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If you have an absolute belief that it's all good and there's no bad in there,

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all bad, no good, you're going to live a very distressed life.

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You going to be fearing the loss of this and fearing the gain of this and living

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in fear all the time.

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But if you see objectively life and see both sides of life,

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loves the synthesis and synchronicity of opposites,

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when you love life and you see both sides and embrace both sides of people and

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events, there's no distress. You don't have unrealistic expectations.

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It's unrealistic expectations on life that lead us to a lot of distress.

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We expect life to be one sided, instead of both sided.

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We expect the world to live in our values or us to live in other people's

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values, which is not likely.

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These are the self-imposed distresses we have in life instead of ground

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ourselves and understand human behavior.

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That's why I teach the Breakthrough Experience,

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to help people learn about human behavior. So their life is more fulfilled,

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more inspired, more clear, more purposeful, less distracted, less aging,

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and living by higher priorities, not lower priorities.

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It's not really rocket science. It's something that everybody can do.

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And some people believe, 'oh, well, when you're wealthy you could do it.' No,

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that's how you get wealthy. People always say, 'Well, you're wealthy,

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you can delegate.' No, I got wealthy because I delegated,

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I got wealthy because I prioritized,

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I got wealthy because I got clear on my mission.

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I got wealthy because I developed and used the Demartini Method.

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I did it because I was doing a bit of exercise and rest and eating wisely.

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Those are the things that allow you to have a maximum performance in life and

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less distress in life.

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And I think that that's a crucial component of mastering your life.

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So let me reiterate the list again, in case you didn't catch it,

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because I did a bit of a fast speed there.

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Number one is to get clear about your mission and your vision.

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Make sure you know what you're committed to and what you're inspired by,

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your calling in life, your metier in life, your primary objective in life. Two,

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prioritize your daily life and make sure that everything you're doing is in that

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direction. Cause somebody who's focused is not scattered,

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and scattered people are way more distressed than people who are focused.

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Then make sure that you prioritized and stick to that,

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and do it on a daily basis and find out what the priorities of the priorities of

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the priorities are. And then make sure you delegate the lower priority things.

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Cause if you're not delegating lower priority things, you're trapped.

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And you're trapped, well then the world around you is running you.

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That's only self-imposed, it has nothing to do with the world out there.

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It's easy to say no,

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it's easy to say no when you have a busy schedule and agenda prescheduled.

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If you got nothing on your plate and you're not living

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by priority, you're going to end up easily being distracted.

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You're going to feel guilty not pleasing people all the time.

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Better to go and do something that serves people and fulfills their values that

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inspires you,

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than sacrificing and distracting yourself by fearing the rejection of other

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people. Don't give power away, empower yourself.

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But prioritize that delegate that learn the Demartini Method,

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go online and get the Alchemy of The Mind and study it or go to the Breakthrough

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Experience and come to Breakthrough Experience, let me teach it to you live.

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I just finished it yesterday and I got another one this weekend.

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I've done it 1,130 times.

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And I love sharing it because it's such a powerful transformative experience for

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people on how to master their life. And you deserve to master your life.

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If you're not committed to mastering your life,

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you're going to live in distress. The masses live under distress all the time,

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the master transcends the distress game.

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And they basically make sure that they're eating wisely,

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they're getting adequate rest and they're doing the exercises and doing the

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things. If you don't use your body, you lose your body.

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If you don't use your muscles, you lose your muscles. You don't use your brain,

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you lose your brain. Everything is plastic and is moving and morphing,

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and if you're using it for something deeply meaningful and inspiring,

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the brain does amazing things.

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If you've got a cause and a purpose that's bigger than your life, you know,

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I always say that the magnitude of space and time in your inner most dominant

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thought will determine the level of conscious evolution you obtain.

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And Seneca said you measure an individual by their most distant ends.

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How big is your vision in life will determine how big

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fulfilled your life becomes.

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You're going to fulfill your life if you live by priority and you live by a

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purpose in life and you follow the steps I did. So purpose and mission,

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make sure you prioritize, make sure you delegate,

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make sure you learn the Demartini Method,

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make sure that you get adequate nutrition,

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make sure you get adequate rest and make sure you get moving and you know,

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use your exercise and keep moving your body, keep yourself toned and inspired.

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And to help you on this process to have less distress,

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less distress life, I have an extra special program,

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a masterclass coming called Access Your 7 Greatest Powers and how to empower all

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areas so you're less likely distracted and less likely to be distressed.

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So this is a special program masterclass I want you to take advantage of,

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Access Your 7 Greatest Powers. And if you sign up for it right now,

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join this class,

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you can get a free CD DVD or

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whatever, online, it was a DVD, it's now online, but it's called Awakening

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Your Astronomical Vision.

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It's about expanding your vision because the broader the vision you have,

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the less distress you have in life. It's living by trivia,

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trivial pursuit instead of a massive vision, the bigger your vision,

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the bigger your life and the more inspired you are and the less distressed you

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are. So take advantage of that free gift. Take advantage of the masterclass.

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And thank you for joining me today. I hope that the information I just gave you,

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it could be put into action right away.

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Please take advantage of the Demartini Method at the Breakthrough Experience.

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Grab this opportunity of this free giveaway and this