Episode Summary

Ian chats with The Holistic Profitability Coach & Trainer, Capriell Rickard. Capriell and Ian had a marvelous talk about life and business regarding what is working and what is not. 

Don’t miss:

• How Capriell worked on the energy that brings alignment and progress into your life and business.
• Dive into the marketing strategies that can help you work around your business while maintaining a balance in your personal, family, and professional freedom.
• Learning more about corporate alignment.
• Recognizing the different levels of grief that has to be healed, creating space, and moving through it.
• Heal your unresolved and unknown grief: https://www.ianhawkinscoaching.com/thegriefcode

About The Guest:

Capriell Rickard

Capriell Rickard is the Founder of Infinite Lifestyle Mastery, here to help purpose-driven souls to thrive, embrace freedom, seize choice and evoke change.

Drawing on decades in business, being a Trainer in NLP, Hypnosis & Time Line Therapy (R), Capriell teaches people how to trust their own guidance, simplify their day-to-day and connect to spirit to live a life that is of their highest good.

Capriell is not just The Holistic Profitability Coach & Trainer but is Empowerment Rising

About the Host:

Ian Hawkins is the Founder and Host of The Grief Code. Dealing with grief firsthand with the passing of his father back in 2005 planted the seed in Ian to discover what personal freedom and legacy truly are. This experience was the start of his journey to healing the unresolved and unknown grief that was negatively impacting every area of his life. Leaning into his own intuition led him to leave corporate and follow his purpose of creating connections for himself and others. 

The Grief Code is a divinely guided process that enables every living person to uncover their unresolved and unknown grief and dramatically change their lives and the lives of those they love. Thousands of people have now moved from loss to light following this exact process. 

Check Me Out On:

Join The Grief Code Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1184680498220541/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ianhawkinscoaching/ 

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LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ianhawkinscoaching/ 

Start your healing journey with my FREE Start Program https://www.ianhawkinscoaching.com/thestartprogram 

I hope you enjoyed this episode of The Grief Coach podcast, thank you so much for listening. 

Please share it with a friend or family member that you know would benefit from hearing it too. 

If you are truly ready to heal your unresolved or unknown grief, let's chat. Email me at info@ianhawkinscoaching.com. 

You can also stay connected with me by joining The Grief Code community at www.ianhawkinscoaching.com/thegriefcode and remember, so that I can help even more people to heal, please subscribe and leave a review on your favourite podcast platform.

Ian Hawkins 0:02

Are you ready, ready to release internal pain to find confidence, clarity and direction for your future, to live a life of meaning, fulfillment and contribution to trust your intuition again, but something's been holding you back, you've come to the right place. Welcome. I'm a Ian Hawkins, the host and founder of The Grief Code podcast. Together, let's heal your unresolved or unknown grief by unlocking your grief code. As you tune into each episode, you will receive insight into your own grief, how to eliminate it and what to do next. Before we start by one request, if any new insights or awareness land with you during this episode, please send me an email at info at the end Hawkins coaching.com. And let me know what you found. I know the power of this word, I love to hear the impact these conversations have. Okay, let's get into it.

Welcome everyone. Something a little different today had a shortage of guests or actually should say everyone's signing up to record in the next few weeks. So the busy few weeks then, but needed a fill of space. And I thought who better to speak to then capreol Ricard capreol. How are you?

Capriell Rickard 1:23

I'm good. Thank you. How are you?

Ian Hawkins 1:25

Very good. Now, we've chatted a lot over the years around business and what's working and what's not. And I thought, given, there's plenty of people who are not doing well, at the moment, it'd be good to jump on and chat to you about what you see that's working, what you see that's not working in what you've identified that used to work that's no longer working, but also just whatever comes up around business and life. And we all know that business is not just about business, it's about what's going on on the periphery. So that was a long intro, but welcome How you going?

Capriell Rickard 2:09

All right. So I guess probably for me, I would start with what I've seen that used to work that no longer works, that's probably the space, I think that you and I sort of sit in the most. I've got, you know, quite a few clients that come to me that have, you know, sort of done everything, you know, they've learned this or that or whatever else like this strategy, because somebody taught this or that strategy, because somebody taught them that. And while I agree with all of those programs, and I agree with, you know, all of the things that people are teaching, because it has worked for them. And I'm, I'm a big believer that we have to get the results to be able to teach what we teach, right? So I think that they're great, but I think, well i i get that we're missing the ability to no longer make it a cookie cutter process and to actually adapt and be flexible to the people that we're serving, or that we're helping. So I think that's one of the major things is, you know, we can sort of do all of the marketing or put together all of the programs or do all of the things but none of it is going to work unless it actually is aligned with who we are and what we're meant to be here for. So I find that I, you know, we can get that massive shift in people when you know, when we can actually find out or dive into what's actually going on for them. What do they actually want to deliver instead of what they've been told by somebody that you know, would be a great idea.

Ian Hawkins 3:43

Yeah, absolutely. And I think about all of the different programs I've done over the years and got heaps out of them, but didn't actually get what I really well. I probably got exactly what I needed out of them, but not what I wanted. Yeah, and not what I specifically needed for me because they were very much a here's a system, here's a process. This works. And then when it doesn't work, then you're left going, Ah, what did I do wrong? Must be me. Like, I must be no good at this. Exactly.

Capriell Rickard 4:14

Exactly. I remember having that thought, hey, like, when in the program where we met and going through that. And initially, I wasn't getting the results that we were supposed to be getting. And I remember thinking, Oh, crikey, this is terrible. I can't I can't do this, you know, at that stage, like most people, I'd invest invested everything that we had in savings to get into it in the first place. And so I was in that real lack. You know, I can't do it. I don't know I have to do it. I have to do it. And I was in that real push energy. Like, you know, I've got to get it done. And I remember thinking to myself, because I was still doing, you know, hundreds of hours even though I had gone out you know on My own. And in the end, you know, like, obviously, I worked in the energy of what, you know what we were doing so in the program taught us the strategy that was working at the time, which doesn't necessarily work. Now, it depends it, you know, there's a little bit of tweaking that has to go with that. So the concept per se still works. But there's, you know, people are bombarded, and this thing, they get bombarded with a particular system or process. So then it changes because people become complacent and then don't react the way that we they, we would think that they would, and that's why do these, and then they don't work. And you're like, what's wrong with me? Yeah, there's other people.

Ian Hawkins 5:45

Yeah, people don't react, how they're meant to react? And it's like, well, no, no, because we're all different. And you can have 100 people go through that, that it worked for certain type of personality or makeup or whatever. Yeah. But doesn't just doesn't work for everyone, and actually thinking about it. How many people in that group got frustrated? Because exactly what you described, they're like, Why won't this work? And yet, there was a few of us that actually made it work. And mainly because we were connecting with each other, and being different conversations and tweaking what needed to be tweaked to make it work. And to me, it's no coincidence that the four of us that, that did that, continue to get great results as a result of that.

Capriell Rickard 6:27

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. And I think that a lot of, you know, a lot of marketing strategies and things like that they actually, they deal in the logical or the psychology of buying, but they often don't bring in the energy that that brings. And when I talk about alignment, what I mean is, when I first saw the process, you know, what it was put a post out, and you get so many people put their hands up, and then you know, you go on from there. And I won't go into the whole process. But essentially, I was one of the ones that I would, you know, put my post out, and I had that intention, and that knowing that I would have 100 plus people put their hands up. And I had that every single time. Once I aligned with what I was doing. So my issue for me was that I didn't truly believe what I was saying. So when I was posting, I didn't really believe it. So people were feeling that. So then I wouldn't get the hands up.

Ian Hawkins 7:34

Now, we're talking specifically around a particular type of business and using social media, but this is across every part of business, right? If you're not operating in a way and talking in a way and interacting in a way that's true to you, then you're going to keep facing these different challenges. Yeah, they might come back in different forms, but they'll just keep repeating. And you'll wonder why you can't get it fixed. Right.

Capriell Rickard 8:00

Yeah. And and another example of that is, when I was running a construction company, I did a corporate alignment, right. So I aligned the values of myself, and I got all of the crew before it expanded to align with that. So when we had new people come in, they aligned with the same core values of of that company. Now, at the time, what I didn't realize, but I do now, is that once I was moved out of management, the business couldn't work. Because it was aligned to me my energy and my values, and not to the person that was taking over. Now, even though I thought they were the same, they were very, very clearly different, because it didn't take long before, you know, the business no longer worked. Once I was not in there, and somebody else was there had I done another corporate alignment based on that person that was running it, it would have worked, it would have been fine. But it wasn't aligned.

Ian Hawkins 9:01

Tell us a little bit about more about the corporate alignment. So for the people who are listening, whether this is if you're aligning in a small business from the the owner down to your five staff, or for something much bigger, tell us a little bit about what that actually looks and feels like because I know plenty of businesses have done maybe a values piece or a they've done some sort of training and it gives a spike. This is what the usually people experience, it gives them a spike, and everyone's all happy. But then within a month or two or three or six, then people have just reverted back to those old behaviors.

Capriell Rickard 9:32

Yeah, so it's kind of like living by like living by the way that you want the business to be run and the way they want the way you want the business to be perceived. And the issue is that like I said, we can do a corporate alignment. So we can establish the core values or or rules of the business to be able to be run a particular way. So though for our, for my business, our very first and core value is its family first always. And I've always run like that, right? Yep. And so for anyone that comes in and works with my business, that is that one of their core values. Now, it doesn't have to be their top value like ours, but it will be one of their one of their core values. So when you have when you create the rules, when you establish what that is, it's actually driven by the person that owns the business. Yep. And when we don't do it by with the person that owns the business, like what happened with mine, it throws it out, should the manager change? Or should you know the people change, right? And so if we don't start at the very top, and work our way down with that alignment, and making sure that we profile and identify who the people are or where they fit in our talent pool, we don't actually, we don't actually get the running the effectiveness of even doing a values pace. So people can do a values pace, and they do it because they think they should. But when they don't do it correctly, and when they do it in a very Oh, well, we think this is a good idea. Because you know, such and such business also has that. Yeah. Okay. No, I was gonna say it's very much like a big brainstorming session. So the way I do it is actually get in there with the owner, first and foremost. And if there's two, you have them both in the same room, so that you can get that piece done. And it's asking all of the questions and getting down into the nitty gritty and getting emptying their cup out. Because there's often things that we think we should have in our values. And then there's stuff that we feel we should have. Yeah, and most most people miss that feel, which is actually how we manifest and create. So if we missed the field, we missed the whole bloody thing.

Yeah, right. It makes me think that it's similar to what happens at a personal level, it's you're operating on, this is how I want my life to be. This is the result I want to get based on what you think other people think you should do, based on what society thinks based on fitting into the box. So you know, you're not, you know, putting your head too far above and risk getting it cut off. It's just it's a safe place. And it's just ticking boxes. It's not actually it's not actually going to get you the results that you really want.

No, never will. And it won't, because it doesn't feel good. And I mean, that's, that seems so simple. But if it doesn't feel good, then we shouldn't be doing it.

Yeah. And that makes me think of what I learned. I can't remember how long ago but the every action that we take every action that anyone who's listening to this takes anyone in your life who maybe does some things that you don't necessarily agree with. They are taking that action based on the thought that it will make them feel better. Yes. So even those people who act out awful crimes and whatever else, because of whatever pain they're experiencing, their belief is that that will have them feel better. Now maybe if you're listening going well, I don't believe in that. Maybe not on a conscious level. Of course, at a conscious level, there are different things happening. But at an unconscious level, there is a drive to feel better. It's a natural human reaction. It's like even all of the dramas we've been through in the last three years people talking about all the potential uncertainties of the future. He ultimately humans have a desire to improve things and to be better and things will continue to do that. But if we come back to personal and business, if we're not operating in a way that is going to actually be beneficial to us might feel better short term, but it's not going to be long term beneficial if it's not going to actually be beneficial to the most important people around us and for the people who are involved in our business, whether that's people working for us or clients, we're then just going to be running around in circles again.

Yeah, absolutely. It's kind of like saying, you know, I'm an alcoholic, but I'm a high functioning, functioning alcoholic. So you drink because you want to feel better. You want to fix it, you want to you know, be able to cope with whatever is going on. So you have processes and systems for coping with what's happening. But if it's ultimately at the back end of that the downward spiral happens because it's not the right system or process for your particular business. You know, so whether it's attracting call clients or it's, you know, putting a system in place to nurture those potential clients, if it's, you know, identifying who your customer is that you know, wants to buy from you, whatever it is that you're selling, all of those things need to come down to and understand what is it that I'm fulfilling? And what is it that they are fulfilling? And when we understand that, then we can actually connect to them in a very different space compared to what we're taught in marketing. In like general marketing.

Yeah, the only thing that comes to mind when you say that is if we're looking from a place

theory, okay?

If we're doing it from a place of bringing our own previous moments of grief or trauma into that conversation, then it it corrupts our thoughts and our actions as well. Right. So it's tell us a little bit about how important that is not just for your own personal healing and growth journey, but the for the healing and growth of the business as well. Yeah, so

what what we often find is, like, an example is my business, right? So you've helped me go through and to heal a lot of trauma that has happened in not just the recent years, but like, over the years, right. And so my business has changed, because I have a different level of certainty and what it is that I deliver, how I deliver that, and what results I can actually get. Now before that, I knew that I could get results because I was seeing it. And I understood that something was happening, but I wasn't clear on exactly what that something was. And it wasn't until my you know, my trauma was lifted or healed, that I was actually able to go oh, that's theirs. I'm not projecting. And I need to, you know, help them do X, Y, and Zed, you know? Yep. So whenever we have a shift, and I think this is important, even when we're talking about corporate alignment, corporate alignment can happen with the owner of the business. But if they have grief or trauma or something that is unhealed for them, then that is still shows within their value structure. Yeah, and this is why when you level up through the different levels, you get stuck at different points, you know, like some people get stuck at 10,000 a month, some people get stuck at 50, some at 100, you know, some at a million like they there's different levels, that you get stuck, because there's different levels of grief that has to be healed, in order for them to be able to move through that and allow that space to be able to be available.

Yeah, I love that. So because because I was going to reiterate, this is not about saying that we're healed, that everything's gonna We're all 100%. It's, it's yeah, like you said, the levels. So as we level up, there's a new layer to peel back. And I think, for my audience in particular, that sometimes there can be a fear around what that might look like. And so when we're talking trauma and grief, like 99.99% of what's going on for people is not some horrific event, like not to say that people don't but don't have those in their past. But the people who are sitting there thinking, Oh, I don't want to, I don't want to find out what might be there because I'm worried that it might be some horrible thing is like none at least these moments of grief, or like, someone said something when you were two, and your two year old brain went, Oh, that's, that's not good. I'll deal with it this way. And we create this pattern that a two year old creates, and then we still run that pattern when we're 3040 50. And wondering why we cannot change.

And the problem with that is when we're two or three or four, you know, like when we're younger, because we take everything on like a sponge, we don't have our own critical thinking. They are the moments where when people say something to you, you actually feel what they feel so their projection of what's actually happening. And then we take it on as if it's ours and decide and make a belief around that. Oh, love that. Yeah, so it's unfortunate, but that's just us being human. Right. So it doesn't mean that the grief is like someone could have said I you know, like, I don't I can't even think of anything.

Around emotions, right? Yeah, but don't get upset.

Yeah. And it's so it's actually a challenge as a parent, like it's, it's a challenge as a parent to not say that, like I often have to stop myself. You know, like, because I've got my youngest is she's eight now. But she's at that stage of learning how to think for yourself. And so when she gets frustrated, she cries, because she can't express herself. It's not because she's trying to be dramatic, even though she's very dramatic. But she's, she's frustrated in herself, and she can't, she can't organize her thoughts herself. So she's struggling with that. Now, if I was parenting, like I was, you know, 18 years ago, I would have just blown up, you know, stop that Stop being ridiculous. But that's not actually the case. So then she would have felt like, she can't have emotions, because I'm saying it's not okay, when that's absolutely not the truth. Yep. You know, now it's like, gonna take five, you know, I'd prefer you do that in another room, or I will leave which would you prefer, you know, I don't have to sit there in amongst the crying and the drama that she has to process. And I'm there for her when she's ready to talk and to, to work through whatever it is. But it's generally a good five to 10 minutes that she has to cry it out. And I I now have like a, you know, like, when we cry, I always am just I reiterate by Oh, that's great. You're releasing. And they're like, wow, like, you know, and so I've noticed that over time during that when I cry. They're like, Oh, Mom, you're releasing. Yeah, I am. And I and it's necessary, because that's us as as humans.

Yeah. And for the well, it's not just men, but predominantly men who still resist that urge that comes to cry, it will still show up, it will just show up in other ways, which is usually anger, frustration, or physical pain or weight or whatever else it is. Right. So you don't have to, but just know that it comes with consequences.

Yeah, and I think that's probably, you know, big thing to talk about, because ultimately, it's a human process to cry. Yeah. And we stop that, because somebody at some point told us that wasn't okay. Who decided that?

Yep. Great, crazy. I I couldn't say for sure. But like, a few generations ago, when they went through, like wars and depressions, and they wouldn't just, you guys got to keep carrying on, like, younger time for that, like, get on with it sort of energy. And yeah. It's probably part of, at a deeper level part of our evolution as well. Is that making it a necessity rather than an inconvenience?

Yeah. If you're not comfortable crying in front of everyone, don't do it. Go do whatever you got to do. Yes. You know, it's like when I was quitting smoking, and I was using tapping as part of the process to relieve the cravings. I remember, you know, come to, you know, smoker time, and I would instead just go to the toilet first. And I'd tap because, you know, I was too embarrassed back then to do anything in front of anyone. So I would tap and until the craving was gone, so that then I could go out and have morning tea and not want to have a cigarette. And for me that was necessary. You know, it was it gave me the space. Yes, I was in the toilet tapping, like a, you know, crazy woman. But that got me three, you know.

So for people who are listening to that going, Yeah, but that's not practical. I haven't got time to do that. Like, what do I do?

Questions? bodily functions.

Yeah, but it's the idea of like, but I bet that's the one I'm really going to do, right. Like whether it's people feeling like it's not this or it's not that or whatever. I know, but this is the thing like so people like what's what's the conversation to be having with someone to have with themselves? When they because you know, it's like people are self judging constantly. Yeah, I can't do that. People might think this What What if they catch me or what if this or what if that? And we create this whole story in our head. So how do we keep ourselves on track for what's most important to us? When things unfolding perhaps taking us just even like you said, they're the day to day ceremonial activities that we have that smoking, getting your coffee? Anything like what's what's the best thought process or operation operational tool to help people just focus on them.

So, if you are someone that doesn't have the ability to take that break, do that, that thing in the moment, my next suggestion would be carrying a little book. And I always tell people to count, you know, like one of those little note pads, you know, for men that sits in that top pocket. And note it down, note down the thought that came up that made you feel like you wanted to cry, note it down, let it go until you have that, that space to be able to do that. And whether that's, you know, everyone's going to bed at night or first thing in the morning, the next morning, when wherever that is. The thing is that if we don't put ourselves first nobody else is going to do Yeah.

Which seems obvious, right? But these habits run deep. Actually, there's something I wanted to ask you about. Even when we because more and more people are open to different modalities to to move past different behavior patterns. One of the things that's really showing up in a big way for me and and the strategies you've given me have been so helpful to help me move past this is it's all well and good to change the behavior. But if you can't change the habit and make it stick, then you just default back to what's been. So the trauma response is not the the grief response is not there. But the habit is so hardwired. So if people are in that place, they can't get the habit to stick or they can't even get their head around changing. Like where do they turn? What's what's the first step they take?

for changing the habit?

Yeah, to embed a new habit? Yeah, I

think that Firstly, we need to understand that at an unconscious level, we can use a modality, healer instantly, and it's gone. But then at a conscious level, our conscious thinking is still running the same automatic behavior or the behavior that we know to be true to ask him that moment. Yep, so being able to anchor in something else can take time, can take practice. And the biggest thing is to allow ourselves to practice a new way of doing things. While we're sorry, if it's, you know, something that we you know, is attached to our identity, it depends on how, how much of a stronghold that has. So when I say attached to our identity, I mean, as the example smoker, I'm a smoker, you know, that is an identity, you know, for, for lots of people, it's you know, I'm a CEO, you know, I'm a business owner, I'm out whatever it might be, right. So it's attached to their identity of who they are, they've given themselves a label of what that is, the first thing is to understand that a label is just a label is just a label the weight that we put on it, or how how stringent it must be is a belief system within ourselves. So allowing ourselves the space to create a new identity or a new way of doing something is important to practice little by little and know that when we rewire the brain, you know, through the repetition that is what actually grounded in a new way of existing. And when I say grounding in I mean it's things like say for instance, you want to become a millionaire it's identifying that the decisions that we make in the Now moment because that is the only space that we have control over we can't change the past and we don't have any control over the future until we make a decision in the Now moment. So in the now when we make a decision that we're going to be whatever it might be if it's you know, I want to be a millionaire then it's making decisions now that you would make as that millionaire because now is the residual of all the past decisions and choices. So it's understanding that being present in the moment and asking the question, what would my millionaire self you know answer to this what would I do? That gives us the ability to make new decisions based on where we want to be and if we are doing things where we're removing a habit or a behavior that we've done so for instance, with smoking it's like what would what would the non smoking self be? And even further to that, if you make it you know, a couple of steps away it's easier to self identify with a new being sorry, instead of I'm a nonsmoker. It's I'm capreol workout. So really, yeah, sorry, him

Now it's just an aside, like, makes me think of what I've been hearing recently, like people who are sports people who, who'd like to come off the end of their career, and they're, and they're like, Well, what is my identity? Who am I, if I'm not the footballer, or now I'm an ex footballer. And it's more of the same except without the fulfillment and and that's what often keeps people stuck in, whether it's a sport or like playing on too long, or whether it's in a relationship or a pattern of behavior, it's because what will life be local, be like after that. It's that uncertainty around that. But you have to be able to go pass that, to see what is on the other side. And it might feel a little bit awkward through the moment, but it's always gonna take you to a better place.

Absolutely. And I think that the the first step in identifying that is to ask the question, if money and time were no issue, what is it I would truly want to be doing right now? And when we can answer that, and when we can sit with that and actually answer what that is, then we no longer have to be the x footballer, X cricket, our x whatever, we're not the X anything where whatever it is, we're looking to go forward to.

Yeah, love that. It's like Steve Jobs quote, like everyday got up going well, with this is my last day, what would I do? Now, there are some practical things that we we still need to do, knowing that it's not our last day, but it's like, well, what would you be investing that time? Like, what? What energy would you be reading? What sort of people would you be connecting with? Yeah, spot on. You mentioned something there that I think is is really powerful, is it's practice. So when you change a habit, it takes some practice. So I think there have been probably too many people thinking that there's a magic solution that's just gonna, I'm just gonna have to flick a switch, or I'm gonna take this and it's going to make it all better. But you can heal and you can create a new way of thinking and you conscious and unconscious belief, but you got to do the practice,

you've got to have allowing yourself the time to practice.

Okay, that's a really good space, because how often as parents, business owners, if we have a job where other people depend on us, do we put that at the forefront? So could you tell us a story about how that was the case for you and how you were able to shift that way of be?

I'm sorry, I was I just trying to think of what the best example of that would be? I think that as a mother, we and whether it's a mum or dad, to be honest, it doesn't, it actually doesn't matter what gender you are you the minute you become a parent, is the minute you, it's like we flick that switch and decide that we are no longer important and that they are the most important thing to us. Yeah. And that's a really dysfunctional way of thinking. And it's dysfunctional for a couple of reasons. It's dysfunctional, because we cannot be the best parent that we can be, unless we are fulfilled ourselves. That's the first one. And secondly, when we put them first we live our life through their eyes, and then we project on them all of the things that were unfulfilled in us to. And we've spoken about that lots.

Yeah. Making their journey about us and even people who think they're not like, and again, we've both been guilty of that. Yeah. Turns out that we're still trying to push our own agenda based on our own experiences onto them. And that's a constant work in progress and requires practice as well.

Yeah, absolutely. And it doesn't matter whether you've got one three or 10 children, you literally have to allow yourself the space to practice it with each one because it shows up differently. For each one of them.

Yeah, actually, great, sorry, you're gonna say something else. And now you're gonna say it's a great point is your children are pretty good at pick it up when you do things that don't seem equal and fair. And it took me a long time to work out that you actually do treat you different because you're different. And you need to be treated different because you have different needs and different wants and, and that's okay. You're never going to get exact equality. I think that's a probably a whole other conversation. But yeah, there's this desire for equality across all of these different areas. And it's like it's just it's not while we are unique and different that that's just not possible. It just come back to the unhealthy comparisons based

Yeah, and and there That's through, you know, things should be fair, you know, we're taught that things should be fair. And as a parent, we question ourselves are being unfair, you know, I'm not treating them the same, you know, they haven't had equal amounts of the drink that they want or that, you know, like they, you know, one's got the wrong color cup. And, and it starts really early. And, you know, like, it goes all the way through. And I remember having all of those arguments with my siblings. And, you know, my life was completely unfair, my little sister got absolutely everything. And albeit she probably did, at the end of the day, because I was stronger. I didn't need the same thing she needed. Yeah, you know, and I'm okay with that now, but at the time, I didn't understand what that was. So then with my children, I'm like, Yeah, well, it is different, you know, like, my eldest is, has a different job to the other two. And she was always talking about how things were unfair. And all of those things and what we've now realized that, you know, there's been a lot of trauma that has come out that we had no idea about, I was busy my entire life, trying to make her feel like she was needed and wanted and that had nothing to do with anything I was doing. Yeah. And I was constantly kicking myself telling myself I was a bad parent, you know, I just don't know how to do this. Why would the universe even allow me to have children wasn't the question most of the time. But I was just like, why am I why am I even here doing this? And my whole life was revolving around keeping my husband happy, keeping my children happy. And it didn't matter what I did. I couldn't keep them happy. Until I realized it wasn't them that was unhappy. It was me. Yeah, I can relate to that one. Yeah. So then I'm like, oh, whoa, hold on a minute, I'm in charge of my heart and happiness, I take back that responsibility. And so then I started putting myself first. And that took adjusting, you know, because for all of those years, I had put everybody else first, you know, my family was before that, you know, my siblings and, and my mom, and, and all of those things, you know, I did everything I could for them, because that was my job. Right? You know, I was supposed to be the daughter. Yeah. You know, and when I started putting myself first everyone's like, whoa, whoa, you're such a selfish bitch. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, absolutely. You know, like, yeah, I put me first. And if you don't like it, then don't be in my space, because I expect you to put you first too. And that's the difference.

Yeah. And when we can connect from that space, then we're not bringing in all of the manipulation and agendas to try and get whatever it is we need. Need, we needed getting met, we made them ourselves and allows for a much more pleasant conversation and much more enjoyable connection, more unity, and less need to be trying to push for space and to be heard and to to be seen. Yeah.

It's that external validation, isn't it? You know, like, we we, as humans feel like we need to validate external to ourselves when we have that knowing of who we are one who, what we expect of ourselves and what we expect or, or will accept of others. It's a very, very different space to be in. Yeah, a lot of people can't handle it, because they're still in the old paradigm of, you know, we should be doing everything for everyone else. And I think that comes across in business too. So like we we have that way you know, you serve you serve you serve you serve you serve, and that's fine, whatever, it feels good. But when it doesn't feel good, don't do it. You know, like we we have clients come to us all the time and are like, oh, you know, you like I've learned their strategy, and yada, yada, yada, but it doesn't feel good. And you're like, Oh, well, that doesn't align, let's look at what else you can do. And the minute they have that something else, their business is booming, because they have something that they actually enjoy doing first and foremost. And secondly, they're not just delivering on what they think they should have. And they're working with the people that they they're drawn to like that doing that energy avatar. Oh my God, that's like a game changer. Yeah. Don't you know your messaging isn't isn't a problem. The way you deliver things, and not a problem, where you show up is not a problem. Like you just show up in the right place. Right spaces with the right message doing the right thing. It's easy.

Yeah, absolutely. And so just for context, we, we were working on this a few months ago, and it's like, okay, we've been through all the different processes around what your ideal client looks like. And so what if we just slowed down and actually, were present and focused on our breath, not about all the noise and what we think the ideal client would ship should be but just didn't allow enough space for them to present to us. Yes. And so for those who are thinking, Well, what does that all mean? Like it sounds a little bit out there? Well, this is what our instincts, our intuition is capable when we allow it space like you must, everyone must be who's listening must be identify with one time, where they just thought, oh, I need a solution to that. And then the answer just popped into their head or turn around the next corner or someone rang them and said, Oh, here's the source or a popped up in their feed. And we can do this same thing around business. And in fact, that's one of the not one, it's probably the outside of the personal stuff. That's probably the biggest thing you've taught me is to that's how I do business now. It's like, yeah, take enough time to tune in, get the answer. And when you follow that, it's like, oh, that was way too easy. But that's

yeah, I say like, it's a it feels like you're cheating. You're not. You're just doing it the right way.

Yeah. And it comes back to something I just wrote down. And before it's like, people, whether it whether it's as a parent, whether it's a business owner, co manager, whatever. It's that validation, needing to have that met, needing to have that met. Well, what about if you didn't need to have that bit? What would life look like if it didn't matter? And we've talked to you before about, like, having parents congratulate me for, for something one of my children have done? And my Well, thanks, but it's got nothing to with me. They they did all that by? I don't. Whereas that would have been different in the past where I was very much in that. I've got to make sure my kids are the best because then oh, look like in an old? Why is it and it's not just garbage, and it keeps you poor children and keeps them stuck in and not able to find out who they are.

Yeah, and it limits who they can be and what they want to do. Like we we have, like, we go through stages, you know, the kids, you know, my middle fella, his his new thing is, I want to be a YouTuber. Yeah. Cool. That's cool. So what are you going to do? Let's get a plan together. And the minute I'm like, let's get a plan together. Let's start it. He's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on, I'm just gonna jump on and play games. And, oh, is that how it works? I was like, well, let's just get a little bit of an idea. You know, like, what do people want to watch you do. And, you know, like, I understand that, that's how a lot of them sort of start. And it's the same with anything that we do in business, we start with an idea of that, that's what it is going to be. But when we then tweak that idea to align with who we truly are and what we truly want to deliver, then it's a whole different level, a whole different level. Like I remember, when I first started coaching, and I would only offer six sessions, because I couldn't commit to anything more. I don't know if I'm going to be stable enough. Like, you know, I was all over the shop, mentally, I suffered from, you know, all of the things that were happening to me, because at that stage, I had no idea about my psychic abilities, or energy or anything, right. So I was going in, and I was like, I can't commit to any any longer period of time, because I don't know how I'm going to fix them past that pack. Like, what am I going to do? So whereas now I'm like, literally putting together a 12 month program, because I know that people normally work with me for 12 months. There's a reason and a purpose for it, it feels good. And I figure why not? Like, that's what's showing up. And that's what I'm enjoying. And I'm loving, being able to see the transformation and what they can create. So why not commit to that, so that they have absolute certainty on what the outcome is?

Yeah, and if you think about, like a bricks and mortar business, depend on repeat clients, they, when they need that particular product or service, they go back to the same place. So why not build something that gives them that option. There's always going to be people who come and get a small hit of whatever you've got, and go off and do something else. And that's fine. And there's an you create options for that. But there are other people who want to be part of it. Like, I'm sure you'd be the same. There'd be clients there that you've seen on and off or constantly for the last four or five, six years. And that's because they get it and as you continue to go through your growth and expansion of you personally and your business, then there's always something else and we look back at the history of business. Some of the some of the biggest and best businesses have actually come in the toughest times, because they've reinvented and changed and it's the ones who didn't that have fallen by the wayside.

Yeah, and I think that in itself allows us space to know that it's okay to tweak and change. Yeah. You know, like a lot of us think that At, and particularly in, like the coaching realm are, well, you know, I have to deliver just this one thing, or I have to do just this. And I mean, I've got programs that I created years ago that are still relevant. Now, depending on the client, you know, it depends on what their needs are. And instead of me having to reinvent the wheel or, or walk them through by themselves, I can literally direct them to the part in that program that, you know, is works for them. And I think that when were, you know, in business, and we get that real stagnant, I'm stuck. I'm not, I'm not enjoying it anymore. That is trigger for us to take a look at what's actually going on, you know, where else are we stagnant? Where else are we stuck? Where else are we feeling, you know, just overwhelmed. And often that can come from, you know, just that last, you know, that the saying the straw that broke the camel's back, you know, often, we have that happen in our lives. And I haven't myself done a lot of coaching in the last couple of years, because the healing has had to be so in depth, but I have absolutely still been working on myself and still being in this space. And I've been lucky enough to be able to have that space to be able to do you know, all of the work on myself. But if business, I think that's what I'm trying to say if business is not working, or it doesn't feel fun anymore, there is something for you to explore to change that for yourself.

Yeah, and you've still been working, like you've you've contributed massive contribution to local community businesses, as a way of giving back because you're in a position that you can which which, again, is something that many of us would love to be able to do, right, so many people are going oh, if I didn't, like you made the question you asked before, if money and time was no issue, what would you do? What how many people wait till retirement to do that giving back part? Well, what if you could actually set your business up that you could be doing that now?

Yeah, which is an interesting process in itself. You know, like, I had told myself for years, I wanted to do something. And I knew that I wanted to do something, but I couldn't work out what that something was. And I, you know, like I, I was always have the excuse, you know, I can't because my husband works away, I can't because I have the kids, I can't, I can't, I can't, and I was still you know, drawn to be able to do something. So I yeah, I got out of my own way and decided to do something because, you know, that was fulfilling for me to do. And I, you know, I had, you know, I wanted to be more social was why, like, I really was craving to be more social, and to be around people. And I felt like this was a really good way to do that. And, you know, what I what happened instead, because we're always in the place that we need to be right. So but what happened instead was it proved to me my abilities, and what I can actually help people with. And so it got me unstuck from not wanting to serve, because I was uncertain of my own ability.

That's good lead into something else I wanted to ask you mentioned psychic abilities before. So I'd love to do this two ways. One is we'll go a little bit deep for those who are ready for the deep, but also, maybe some, some context for people who are a bit like, like, I'm not sure if I believe in that you've lost me whatever, right? To me comes back to that same thing that we're talking about earlier, which is when you allow yourself space and time and, and quiet and presence, then there's so much that the mind the heart, and the soul is capable of that we don't know when we're rushing around on the next thing, the next thing. So, again, I would ask everyone to have a think about the times where they've just known something's going to unfold. So whether you want to call that your own psychic abilities, or how you want to look at it, but everyone would have an example where when they're in a good space, maybe they've been on holidays, or they've just had a good day or whatever. And they just like, I just know this is going to happen. Yeah. So so maybe give you some some more context around some, some logic around it. And then some deeper stuff around how people can access more of that. And what I love about this, if we come back to the US, the parents is being able to pass on this same information to our children, to allow them to experience that knowing to they're not in that anxious space of uncertainty and whatever. They know what they need to know. And that's all knowing that and the certainty and the confidence and the peace of mind that that gives them it's a beautiful thing. So yeah, go

yeah, sorry, I for me, it didn't start as I had psychic ability that was now VA where I was at, I always just back myself in business, you know, I'd take in our business from, you know, 750,000 turnover annually to 4.5 million in less than 12 months. And I thought I was doing that because I was just good at my job.

But you probably were. Yeah,

yeah, absolutely. And I had an amazing team, because I'd done the corporate alignment. And you know, like, I had all these people around me that were able to work with me and going for a common goal. But what I found was like that the boys used to say to me, because it was construction, the boys used to say to me, like, how, how do you know that that's going to happen? Like, how do you know that's going to work out? And I'm like, I don't know. I just know.

Can I just pause you there for one sec. So there have been different times where I've worked with female coaches, male coaches, but having done a fair bit of work with you over the years, if anyone's got any doubt about capreolus ability to operate with men, she works yeah, in construction with the bloodiest Blake's he'd ever met. So yes, there is a deeper understanding, then perhaps sometimes, I feel like I have about men at times, which is strange, but also go.

So yeah, so I just had this knowing and the boys that always question I, how do you know? I don't know. I just know, just like, you know, and I always I put it down to just backing myself, you know, like, I was just backing myself and I knew, but once I learned about energy, and intuition, and how we actually get that information, then I was like, oh, whoa, hold on a minute. That's not what I was doing. Like I was literally getting the information or the drop in. And for me, it was happening, I would get to have a dream. So then when it presented, I would have a certainty in what decision I needed to make. But I wasn't consciously aware of that until I had someone that started taking me through the process. Well, that's your intuition. What's intuition? You know, and I started diving into that, in a very basic form. Intuition is the gut feeling that we get or the physical response, we get to any situation. And when we come back into ourselves, and we are curious about what the response is physically, then we can use utilize that information, that extra information that we have, it's like our sixth sense, right? So once we have that, we then can say, Okay, well, we've got that. That ability to you know, find out more. It's like, you know, the feeling when you walk into the room, and you know, you don't like somebody, you don't know why you don't like them until they open up their mouth. And then yeah, confirms that it's done. Yeah, sorry. It's that feeling right. That's, that's intuition. But that turns into psychic when we develop it.

It's like you're talking about before when you practice something? Yeah, that's about intuition is when people are getting this experience having done no practice with it whatsoever. Correct? Yeah. So so the depth of it. So you've done a shitload of practice on it. Yeah. So give me a good example of your where those psychic abilities have paid off in a big way.

Oh, okay. Well, let's go with the last one. And I think the guys might be here. So that might be pretty relevant. So we were supposed to buy a car. And the deal fell through like we had a car and it was approved deal fell through. And then I just had the if I don't think we need to buy animals, no, I don't think we need to buy a car. Just just leave it like we'll get one later. Just leave it anyway. He's been looking looking and you know, constantly so for the last couple of months, he's been looking and earlier this week. So he has we've talked about wanting to be able to travel around Australia. You know, take the kids and off we go and I keep saying him Come on let's just pack up and go he's like Not yet Not yet. Anyway, he's talked about the way he wants to go round is you know, have around mute have the gooseneck attached to it, and that's how he wants to go out. Anyway, we've talked about that. And there was a one of the like one of those I want to say Lottery but one of the the groups that yeah, that's what they are. And these guys that he went with because it was about children, and it was about you know, being able to like the profits went to kids. So he decided to become a member more earlier this week. He literally got the call to say that he had one or $250,000 Ram. Just like I told you, we didn't need to buy a car.

I just love the message that you sent me was like, Oh yeah, by the way, we want to turn a car yesterday. I'm like, what? Like, surely that's a joy.

No, absolutely serious. Like, it's just mind blowing, that, even though you know that it's going to happen and that something is going to happen. I think that is the biggest thing with having psychic ability, knowing and trusting and allowing it to show the trusting and allowing it to show is when most people trip up.

Yeah. Because then they go, No, to let it crap because I thought this was gonna happen. And we had one that I shared with you just recently? What the fuck like? Yeah, you know, and that's because you get caught in all these different things that just aren't relevant. And it's that that resistance and, yeah, and

our expectation of how it's going to turn out. And when we know that it turns out for the highest good of everyone concerned, and that, you know, all of these extra abilities, and all these things are literally, so that we have all of that, you know, additional information available to us. And we can operate from a higher vibration that allows everyone to live in harmony. And it's not about having to get that validation you talked about earlier, you know, people that do bad things, they do it because they're looking to cope or to fulfill something within themselves because of whatever has happened to them. And that's absolute truth. But we get to decide what that is. And we get to decide how we operate within that realm, you know, bad things can happen. And that doesn't mean that it wasn't supposed to happen. It just means that it's built us to do something more, you know, to have a bigger impact to be able to help more people to do whatever it is we actually came here to do. And I think for me, having psychic abilities has allowed me to have a greater trust in the way the world works, you know, and we've had some really bad should happen. And I won't go into it. But it's like, a parent's worst nightmare. And I once I could get past all of that grief now life is just unfolding and rapidly. rapidly. Yeah.

So cool. So two thoughts through that is a, a, something I've referenced many times on this show before I'm sure. Abraham Hicks talks about that, what that concept you were talking about before, it's like, we decide we want something. The world shows us feedback. We either go I want more of that, or I want less of that. Yeah. And the universe is very well, here's 1000 ways that it can happen. And when you say even it has to be this way. Because if we have this predetermined idea and how it has to be very well happen that way, and then we say, but it probably won't happen for me, there'll be probably something will happen very well, it will go away. So when you can remove those two thoughts of the process, you can have a desire. Yeah, whatever action you're called to. And then you can win a car. And easy, right? Yeah, yeah. I'd start with the cast that was something a bit easier and even talked about that just say, blue, suddenly blue glass, feather and a butterfly. Start with something like that, and just say, Oh, I would like to see that today. And then watch it unfold.

And that's one of the things that I actually teach people is how to identify what that is. So that they know, probably the biggest thing is if it's meant for us, it will always be Yeah.

Yep. And the other thing is that something that a coach told me about four or five years ago, is that when when you can operate from that place of intuition, and just allow the guidance to come through you, then you can stop trying to bring your ego to everything, which is how good am I? Or how bad Am I or I stuffed that up? Or well I was amazing, which all it does is give you a false sense of where you're really at either you think you're better than you are you think you're going worse than you are just is instead you can allow this guidance that is available to all of us to flow through and just do what's best for you and for them and for and for all. It's it's such a freeing place.

Yeah, exactly.

Awesome. So as we said, it'll be intertwined personal business, everything in between. Yeah. Is there anything else that you wanted to share before we finish up today?

I feel like that's a yes. I'm not quite Not sure what that is, I guess that the biggest message would be if you're in business want to get in business have a concept idea. There's just something that you feel drawn to do. Or if you're in business, then it's not quite working for you like you're a little bit stagnant, then there's something for you to tweak. There is something for you to look at. And and it would be that first question is, if money and time was no issue, what would it be that I would be delivering or doing? And if that is in alignment with, you know, if it matches what what you're delivering, then great, but if it doesn't match, then you need some help to identify what that is. Yeah,

often. Sorry,

you know, you're,

I was gonna say doesn't mean throwing out what you're doing now. It's mean means how can you bring in what that is to what you're already doing? It's not they will think they have to change their whole career or their business? No, it's just tweaking as you said.

Yeah. It is absolutely about tweaking it. And I mean, it's, it's interesting, because there's a lot of people stuck. At the moment. There's a lot of people feeling just unhappy with where they're at. And it's not, you know, it's not huge amounts of, you know, unhappiness like they they're still, you know, quite like what they're doing. But they're just they know, there's something more like I remember having that that yearning for there has to be something more. Yeah. And there absolutely is.

Yes. And it's not as difficult as you think. Yeah, that's not so good. Now, you've mentioned a few of your programs and different stuff you've got going on, what's something you'd like to share with people that if they're interested, they can make it actually get a taste of straightaway?

Okay, well, I? Oh, that's actually a good question. I don't know what I want to share. There's so many.

For the first thing that came to mind for me is your Facebook group, which is particularly for those who are a bit more spiritually minded, or are curious and asking those same questions that you said, there has to be something more. Your group is a great place for people to start where you share really basic and easy and quick, importantly, Quick Bits of snippets of guidance to help people get a good place to start.

Yeah. Yeah, that's pretty good place to sort of find me on. On Instagram, I've been Instagrams, my new favorite place to be at the moment. I'm enjoying all the rails and things like that. So

it was It wasn't lost on me when you were talking about your daughter who has a need to express herself. My wonder where she gets it from?

Yes, yeah. Yeah, no, so Instagrams probably a good place to find me as well. That's, that's sort of where my concentration is, at the moment, cause I'm having fun doing all the little reels and things like that, and just experimenting. And I've been blessed enough to be working with someone that's a major influence. So that's, you know, been lots of fun to explore that. So,

yeah, awesome. Awesome. And we joked about the manifesting a car and all that sort of stuff. But But really, if I think about what you've given me, it's got nothing to do with well, nothing and everything to do with that sort of stuff. But it's all been the strategy, and the process and the structure, which has just made all the difference, because instead of now being lost, and like, Well, what do I do now? The ability to either just go to the structure already have or how do I navigate that and go, Okay, well, what, what is most important today? So for those who are a bit more than curious, just know that it's this is not, this is not fluffy, this is clear, direct, strategic, coaching, that's gonna help you moving forward extremely quickly, if that's what you're ready for. Yeah. But you've got to be ready to be ready to be ready. Absolutely. Awesome. Well, thank you. I appreciate you filling a hole when I introduced that. I was like, well, it shouldn't be. It shouldn't be. Like, you're just doing it because there's not someone there. We have talked in the past, in the past, and we're back on and having this conversation. So thank you for being able to that at a short notice. It probably was a good excuse me, for us to actually make it happen. Yeah. sharing your wisdom with the audience, our audience today.

Thank you for having me here. It's always fun.

I hope you enjoyed this episode of the grid. If COVID podcast, thank you so much for listening. Please share it with a friend or family member that you know would benefit from hearing it too. If you are truly ready to heal your unresolved or unknown grief, let's chat, email me at info at Ian Hawkins coaching.com You can also stay connected with me by joining the Grief Code community at Ian Hawkins coaching.com forward slash The Grief Code and remember, so that I can help even more people to heal. Please subscribe and leave a review on your favorite podcast platform