Transcripts
check 1 2 well
Speaker:hello there boyfriend how are you
Speaker:it's fine day I'm really good
Speaker:is it working yes
Speaker:excellent let's not touch shit
Speaker:I'm afraid to ask but I have a great question
Speaker:I don't even know what I was gonna say
Speaker:I'm so disturbed right now
Speaker:you did I just caught you
Speaker:I have never caught you scratching your balls
Speaker:I was not
Speaker:you did from out from the outside of my pants or
Speaker:you re react dumb
Speaker:you did something I don't think reacting is real
Speaker:what did you
Speaker:so you just happen to touch your pants
Speaker:where your balls are located
Speaker:I don't know what happened
Speaker:you just scratched your balls
Speaker:why don't you just admit it
Speaker:do you not remember you do it so often
Speaker:it's just like every day it was involuntary
Speaker:you told you just palmed your testes
Speaker:I don't remember it at all
Speaker:and looked at me while scratching I did
Speaker:something horrible just happened
Speaker:why are you scratching your phone
Speaker:no no
Speaker:I'm not talking about that
Speaker:oh
Speaker:something horrible happened
Speaker:can I say this at the stage for a second
Speaker:you can look at me no
Speaker:I was just saying we're having this conversation
Speaker:I won't tell you too much of it
Speaker:but it was like
Speaker:a nice conversation I was having with Erica
Speaker:and I believe I said something like
Speaker:this place really feels like my home
Speaker:I said focus I said
Speaker:this place really feels like my
Speaker:your house does starting to feel like feel like my home
Speaker:and then
Speaker:then you said something what did you say
Speaker:I reached into like kiss you
Speaker:cause I was like oh
Speaker:that's sweet
Speaker:cause sometimes Eric will say are like
Speaker:our bed is made and it means a lot
Speaker:and I said it really does
Speaker:it go this bed really feels like it
Speaker:like really feels like my home
Speaker:and then her give me this lock and she leaned in
Speaker:and
Speaker:I don't know if it was the Chipotle or what happened
Speaker:I then for the first time
Speaker:ever not just farted in front of you
Speaker:but farted in front of any woman
Speaker:you never farted in front of any other woman
Speaker:you were married for almost two decades
Speaker:and you never farted in front of her
Speaker:and I got the first fart I don't think I did
Speaker:and you I
Speaker:feel really special you left very hard
Speaker:you try to break it down how it could have happened
Speaker:it was weird you didn't move
Speaker:I didn't touch you what happened
Speaker:did you I was just like
Speaker:oh dear God and um
Speaker:actually what's funny is you look at me straight face
Speaker:I wanna I thought we
Speaker:I was trying to figure out
Speaker:I was trying to pretend I was trying to pretend
Speaker:I was trying to pretend and I just go
Speaker:what
Speaker:that was my pretend I'm sorry
Speaker:I ran in the closet started packing my suitcase
Speaker:I really did
Speaker:and then you said well
Speaker:that's proof that I really do feel
Speaker:it was an odd moment for that to happen
Speaker:but seriously I didn't squeeze you
Speaker:I didn't hug you I didn't touch you
Speaker:I don't know and you weren't even walking
Speaker:you're just standing there
Speaker:I don't know why a fart came out
Speaker:it was awful it was like a baby fart that was little
Speaker:oh gosh so I for
Speaker:I think I said to you
Speaker:I don't think I can podcast anymore
Speaker:like something big a deal
Speaker:and that's what happened
Speaker:and
Speaker:what's interesting is I don't know what to say
Speaker:you're being so serious
Speaker:here's what I know is interesting
Speaker:unless you have something really
Speaker:I have nothing to say I'm trying to just
Speaker:why are you so embarrassed about this
Speaker:I know
Speaker:like
Speaker:I don't know I do think it's interesting
Speaker:I think it's gross to like
Speaker:fart a bunch or poop in front of the other person
Speaker:like we still I've never known
Speaker:except one time when you've gone No. 2 ever
Speaker:and that was an emergency right
Speaker:like we always even like
Speaker:leave the building and go somewhere else
Speaker:you're the first woman I've ever had like a code
Speaker:like I'll say I'm gonna go make a phone call
Speaker:I'm gonna make a phone call
Speaker:what you do on the all the other times
Speaker:just make her think that you hated her and left oh
Speaker:with other relationships
Speaker:I think I just went in a different part of the house
Speaker:or like do you remember the one time you lied to me
Speaker:the worst lie that you told me
Speaker:to get out of admitting that you had to go poop
Speaker:which one in this room in the oh yeah
Speaker:we did discuss that that I um
Speaker:we did but I just not everyone's heard every episode
Speaker:so I said I was going to the fitness room
Speaker:and then upon I said twice
Speaker:I'm gonna go do chin UPS
Speaker:and on the way out of the hotel
Speaker:there's no fitness you know
Speaker:you just copped up to it
Speaker:you're like Erica just you know
Speaker:there's no gym here I was like
Speaker:you liar well anyway
Speaker:yes you farted
Speaker:but what I don't understand why is
Speaker:why is it so embarrassing
Speaker:I got food poisoning and was throwing up like crazy
Speaker:yeah and having diarrhea and I was like
Speaker:that's kind of embarrassing
Speaker:yeah I don't know
Speaker:why were you embarrassed at the colonoscopy
Speaker:when you were going upstairs
Speaker:pooping every five minutes
Speaker:I don't I mean yeah
Speaker:like I would have rather been alone
Speaker:but there's definitely these things
Speaker:um when was it a fart though
Speaker:why are you why is it a fart
Speaker:don't know upbringing
Speaker:but like peeing you'll pee with the door open
Speaker:yeah prefer it
Speaker:not sure
Speaker:not sure why did that like invoke a man
Speaker:I love it my trust
Speaker:pee outside yeah
Speaker:not a problem good question
Speaker:don't know maybe it smells bad and then you
Speaker:I don't know makes you feel imperfect
Speaker:I don't know what a shock
Speaker:you've never farted in front of anyone else
Speaker:no dudes maybe doubtful
Speaker:less than 5 times what
Speaker:yeah
Speaker:I feel like you're very atypical and not in a bad way
Speaker:thank god most men are disgusting
Speaker:but like yeah
Speaker:do your friends fart in front of you a lot
Speaker:nah you have nice friends though
Speaker:I think you're a very unique bunch
Speaker:yeah I seriously
Speaker:I feel like they're very mature
Speaker:most men that I've been around do not care
Speaker:so interesting in their guy friend group
Speaker:if anyone farts they think it's funny
Speaker:they just keep going it's disgusting
Speaker:men are gross is it cause I'm older
Speaker:no I guess I've never done this
Speaker:I can't believe you never farted
Speaker:you ever farted in front of a woman
Speaker:before have I a female friend
Speaker:I had a farting contest with a girl once
Speaker:haha I did
Speaker:in bed well
Speaker:I didn't realize you were in bed
Speaker:well it was a sleepover
Speaker:we were in like high school or college
Speaker:and I had to fart really
Speaker:really bad and I was embarrassed
Speaker:I wanna fart in front of her
Speaker:and she was like finally
Speaker:I just she's my best friend
Speaker:I was like yeah
Speaker:I just I gotta admit to you
Speaker:I can't get up every two seconds and like
Speaker:go fart in the bathroom wow
Speaker:so I was like I have to fart
Speaker:she was oh my god
Speaker:I had to fart too wow
Speaker:just do it I was like really
Speaker:she's like yeah
Speaker:and I was like uh
Speaker:and then she goes and we were laughing
Speaker:so there was a contest
Speaker:we just kept going back and forth
Speaker:and then finally it started to smell really bad
Speaker:so we had to stop that is
Speaker:this is like the opposite of finding out
Speaker:you had a hot lesbian experience in college haha
Speaker:yep so anyway
Speaker:that's what happened
Speaker:I think I forgot we're supposed to talk about
Speaker:well here's what I think is interesting as well
Speaker:we've been like intimate
Speaker:I've done a testicular exam on you
Speaker:when you were worried that you had swelling
Speaker:from blue balls remember
Speaker:like I've touched and done a lot of things yeah
Speaker:I and I want to
Speaker:cannot keep this like gross
Speaker:like I just want I I think in an intimate setting right
Speaker:any couple yeah the stuff that we do together
Speaker:it is interesting incredible sex at all
Speaker:you do yeah
Speaker:right you do is that what you're getting at
Speaker:we have the sex well yes
Speaker:that's what I'm getting at yeah
Speaker:but why are I mean
Speaker:to see someone naked all the time and to touch that
Speaker:and then to be embarrassed of a tiny fart
Speaker:do you think I think it's interesting
Speaker:do you think a lot of times we walk around
Speaker:pretend we're not like people that we don't do stuff
Speaker:like we're like this different version of ourselves
Speaker:we walk pretty honest with you no
Speaker:no I don't mean like in a fake way
Speaker:I mean like people in general
Speaker:if you're at any type of if you're watching a musician
Speaker:or if you're at those moments
Speaker:you're kind of like
Speaker:I'm gonna go hide and pee and then come back
Speaker:I feel like there's like
Speaker:a whole thing where we hide and do stuff well
Speaker:I certainly don't think that anyone sees like
Speaker:a Victoria's secret model and wonders
Speaker:the last time she had explosive diarrhea no
Speaker:you're in fact I think most men truly do
Speaker:like to picture women as never defecating 100%
Speaker:not that you'd be like woo
Speaker:but like it's it's a
Speaker:I had a guy that said
Speaker:he'd never once known his wife had pooped
Speaker:in like 15 years of marriage
Speaker:and he was bragging like he did in front of all time
Speaker:didn't care and he's like
Speaker:my wife doesn't do that
Speaker:but he said it a really derogatory way where like
Speaker:she wasn't even allowed to like have bodily functions
Speaker:it was like no
Speaker:you have to be my beautiful supermodel wife
Speaker:and he would say that I don't think we're like that
Speaker:but I think there's a certain level of like
Speaker:respect as well you're the first guy though
Speaker:that I've ever dated who's been like very
Speaker:very private about pooping farting hmm
Speaker:thank you welcome
Speaker:I mean yeah
Speaker:hey uh huh
Speaker:sorry about this I drilled the whole podcast
Speaker:I kind of feel like I need to like one up
Speaker:you go ahead
Speaker:cause I feel like you're embarrassed still
Speaker:and we like bring you back to like
Speaker:you're okay did you know that when women fart
Speaker:if they're sitting down
Speaker:the fart has nowhere to go so it goes into their vagina
Speaker:what that's
Speaker:that's not
Speaker:no why doesn't it like a bubble that goes up
Speaker:I don't understand if you're sitting down on a chair
Speaker:why isn't it go back there
Speaker:it can't cause you're sitting on your bumhole
Speaker:wow as nowhere to go
Speaker:if you're leaning if I'm leaning this way
Speaker:chairs can't go back it goes the least resistant
Speaker:yeah and it gets trapped in your bed
Speaker:is that a common thing you've discussed this with other
Speaker:really is that right
Speaker:yeah
Speaker:have you ever been about to be intimate and you're like
Speaker:got a fart stored in there can't do that right now
Speaker:do you really want me to go into detail about that
Speaker:okay
Speaker:that's a that's a fascinating terrifying that is
Speaker:you ever farted during sex
Speaker:I feel like well actually that's a great question
Speaker:I should know the answer to this as a physician
Speaker:you have we don't actually if you fart during sex
Speaker:I feel like you would know the answer
Speaker:no I mean like who farts more men or women
Speaker:cause women are getting like a lot of pressure oh
Speaker:during sex and honestly with penetrative sex
Speaker:they are getting them it's like way more pressure
Speaker:so like please do it
Speaker:come on just a tip please then I'll get out of here
Speaker:that's not funny so your physical pressure
Speaker:I'm just gonna start
Speaker:let's talk about you farting again
Speaker:okay this is great
Speaker:I now know how to shut you down quickly
Speaker:I'm gonna use this all the time
Speaker:you do something that annoys me
Speaker:if you're cooking dinner and I don't like it
Speaker:I'm just remember that time you farted
Speaker:okay but then guys
Speaker:you're doing
Speaker:most of the time when you're like missionary style
Speaker:or dog so whatever
Speaker:you're doing
Speaker:all the effort and you're really thrusting yep
Speaker:so wonder if that would push out a fart
Speaker:I don't know I like this
Speaker:I feel like women more so because of the pressure
Speaker:pushing down on them but you never know
Speaker:you don't know well
Speaker:it's not like anal sex where
Speaker:of course you'll have a lot of flatulence
Speaker:that just what well
Speaker:you're pushing air I would think you wouldn't have any
Speaker:you're pushing air that's blocked
Speaker:I'm serious I would have never thought that
Speaker:there would be any flashlights during
Speaker:where to go because you're pushing
Speaker:if it's penetrative
Speaker:you're pushing an object in and pulling it out
Speaker:and there will be air still
Speaker:I have an upsetting statistic for you
Speaker:oh
Speaker:this is I don't think we've ever talked about this
Speaker:what
Speaker:how many times do you think people pass gas per day
Speaker:oh 20
Speaker:20 was it twenty
Speaker:yeah 10 to 20
Speaker:you're on the high end
Speaker:you and your girlfriend under the
Speaker:under the covers well
Speaker:at least I'm not in denial
Speaker:it's normal for people to pass gas
Speaker:10 to 20 times per day and
Speaker:your colon isn't really concerned
Speaker:with what else may be going on
Speaker:yeah so this
Speaker:and that's for 24 hours right
Speaker:including when you're sleeping
Speaker:that's why you're not supposed to sleep naked
Speaker:I think I just farted for a few seconds
Speaker:no
Speaker:you're not supposed to sleep naked for that reason
Speaker:because when you fart you're expelling fecal manner
Speaker:not just air
Speaker:so that particulate usually contains a lot of bacteria
Speaker:and then if you're sleeping naked
Speaker:especially with a partner
Speaker:or just in your sheets in general
Speaker:yeah you're spraying that contaminant everywhere
Speaker:do you know what I think we should do
Speaker:not talk about this anymore
Speaker:I'm afraid to ask I'm afraid to ask on the podcast
Speaker:afraid to ask
Speaker:we've always provided the podcast for free
Speaker:it's been free up to this point
Speaker:I'm not kidding
Speaker:I feel like now is the time we start a Patreon
Speaker:and for like 5 bucks a month
Speaker:you don't have to hear this one
Speaker:haha
Speaker:you this one does need the biggest disclaimer
Speaker:this one will not
Speaker:maybe we can talk about that a little bit hey
Speaker:guess what you're right haha
Speaker:during vaginal sex thrusting
Speaker:can put pressure on the lower part of your rectum
Speaker:which is close to the upper part of your vagina
Speaker:near the cervix making it harder to hold in gas
Speaker:during anal sex
Speaker:you're putting direct pressure on the rectum
Speaker:and relaxing additional muscles in Uranus
Speaker:and so you can sometimes fart during sex yeah
Speaker:how to prevent first during sex
Speaker:well first of all
Speaker:say methacone over the counter
Speaker:that's like gas X you'd also could do an enema
Speaker:so anything with saline usually or glycerins
Speaker:positories things to emit any fecal matter down there
Speaker:make sure you're not constipated for gas buildup
Speaker:avoid gassy foods
Speaker:I hate all great answers are all on here
Speaker:I hate that we're talking about this
Speaker:avoid carbonated drinks yeah yeah
Speaker:well gassy foods
Speaker:so that's a big one poop first
Speaker:does it say that uh huh
Speaker:yeah well yeah
Speaker:well that's why I said they get enema
Speaker:especially if you're planning on having
Speaker:anal sex
Speaker:is often advised to try to clear out everything
Speaker:cause that's more sanitary as well wow
Speaker:you think anal sex is often advised
Speaker:oh you mean cleaning if you're going to
Speaker:well people will do it
Speaker:so I might as well provide the best advice possible
Speaker:regardless of you know
Speaker:absolutely my thoughts on the matter
Speaker:just because I don't like it
Speaker:doesn't mean someone else would yeah
Speaker:I said I said to my therapist today
Speaker:you talk about anal sex sex
Speaker:yeah your therapist
Speaker:I was wow
Speaker:I can't even speak please take the floor
Speaker:try to remember what made me think of this
Speaker:did you have another thing
Speaker:where do you know that the farting thing
Speaker:I we didn't do it like
Speaker:I don't know what the podcast is about right now
Speaker:was there another topic today
Speaker:um cause I have one
Speaker:if you didn't have uh
Speaker:one queued up by Calvin oh yeah
Speaker:well I thought
Speaker:we had a list of things that were deal breakers yeah
Speaker:oh that's what it was
Speaker:and I figured you know
Speaker:farting would be one of them
Speaker:but it's not for you
Speaker:you're saying like oh
Speaker:I thought you meant
Speaker:because you're more comfortable with it
Speaker:yours party isn't a deal breaker for you
Speaker:is it it's not a deal breaker for you either
Speaker:I don't think no
Speaker:but I mean
Speaker:are you breaking up with me because it's just oh
Speaker:I suppose party in excess
Speaker:I would have some concerns about yes
Speaker:that yes
Speaker:I was gonna make a joke
Speaker:and I didn't have the confidence okay
Speaker:here's a question I have oh
Speaker:what do you think I have um
Speaker:a lot of sources here brides com one of my favorites
Speaker:deal breakers in a relationship
Speaker:now I feel like I'm gonna click on this
Speaker:and it's gonna be
Speaker:some pretty common things are gonna be like oh
Speaker:he cheats on me
Speaker:is it just like a list or is it a questionnaire
Speaker:like if you have this you should break up
Speaker:this is the warning top 18 deal breakers in order
Speaker:based on bradstockcom opinion
Speaker:this is in order okay
Speaker:so never okay
Speaker:you're saying is it 1 to 18 or is it 18 to one
Speaker:yeah I don't know so you're looking at it
Speaker:you tell me
Speaker:you know what the lyric of their deal breakers
Speaker:is there an order breaking the deal
Speaker:I don't know it's like the worst
Speaker:like the most offensive thing you could possibly do
Speaker:versus like and is it examples
Speaker:like he interrupts you when you're talking
Speaker:or is it
Speaker:or the characteristics of something else
Speaker:this list is not an order
Speaker:can I tell you why okay
Speaker:in any order even though it says objective
Speaker:even though it says is no
Speaker:because it
Speaker:No. 1 is your partner doesn't want the same things as
Speaker:you
Speaker:right well
Speaker:that's obvious yeah
Speaker:if you don't have compatibility
Speaker:if you don't like the same things honestly
Speaker:remember when I was married
Speaker:like I liked my dick and I like myself
Speaker:and you like yourself
Speaker:I think that's true
Speaker:but I feel like this means wanting the same things
Speaker:I'm wrong about saying liking the same things yeah
Speaker:wanting the same things right yeah
Speaker:I think it's so important
Speaker:like it do you feel like it means the drive
Speaker:like the I'll tell you what they says for example
Speaker:oh for example
Speaker:incredibly vague incredibly vague for example
Speaker:if you wanna move to the countryside
Speaker:but they thrive in the big city yeah
Speaker:this could be an automatic relationship deal breaker
Speaker:that's your hallmark movie
Speaker:yeah you like those when the seasons right yeah yeah
Speaker:like fall to Christmas and then I'm done if I don't
Speaker:I've never seen one of those yes
Speaker:you have you saw the guy with the plaid sweater
Speaker:the fisherman's sweater
Speaker:part was just solid clips of it yeah
Speaker:but not a deal breaker if you watch that shit
Speaker:if someone I got one this this
Speaker:I don't know if it's on here
Speaker:maybe it's one of the the wrong things
Speaker:I dated a girl once for like a minute and then um
Speaker:she started like every time I was at her house
Speaker:she was like
Speaker:turn on the TV and sit down and just watch
Speaker:like nothing and I was like
Speaker:we got shit to do hmm I got work to do
Speaker:I wanna go work out I wanna do whatever
Speaker:it was just like this constant like just what's on
Speaker:I don't like a what's on TV attitude
Speaker:I like a let's dial up this show and watch it
Speaker:that's why I like about streaming services
Speaker:I don't like the whole like what's on
Speaker:everyone's while a fun little oh
Speaker:family feuds on this is good
Speaker:I like to go I wanna watch this
Speaker:I don't wanna waste time
Speaker:and someone that super watch TV person yeah
Speaker:well I feel like this was gonna be like very like
Speaker:you want kids and they don't
Speaker:or you're religious and they're not yeah
Speaker:let me give you more
Speaker:your partner abuses you money and they're terrible
Speaker:that's why I feel like this not in order
Speaker:cause this next one is abuses you
Speaker:that should probably be number one
Speaker:probably it's number two the kids right
Speaker:it shouldn't be you can't be like
Speaker:oh he he abuses me
Speaker:I'll stay with him
Speaker:but we don't like the same blah blah blah
Speaker:you know what I mean it's like talking about verbal
Speaker:emotional could be physical
Speaker:so I mean this is like a lot of different things
Speaker:you're always fighting
Speaker:you don't trust your partner
Speaker:I like that you're always fighting one
Speaker:you're always fighting duh
Speaker:no shit you should break up yeah
Speaker:do you think though
Speaker:I used to think no fighting was good
Speaker:it's not I think then you're in denial
Speaker:and you're not talking about the issues of hand
Speaker:I heard this great quote
Speaker:and I would love to be able to reproduce right now
Speaker:normally I don't want to reproduce anything
Speaker:but I thought about this quote
Speaker:it really hit me it said when something bothers me
Speaker:I'm I can in in my
Speaker:I can only do one or two things being myself
Speaker:I can either say something and mess things up
Speaker:or not say anything and mess myself up
Speaker:what's the option to not mess up either person
Speaker:unfortunately it was not in the quote
Speaker:I don't like that quote then okay
Speaker:yeah not a not a real solution based quote
Speaker:how about just changing your perspective
Speaker:you can allow something to bother you or you can
Speaker:not sure get to you and just fix it if you have to
Speaker:but you're right trust not being your authentic self
Speaker:I think is a huge one
Speaker:money appreciated money job discrepancies
Speaker:money to script like one's a good saver
Speaker:one's just a spender for everything
Speaker:I feel like that'd be a huge breakup thing
Speaker:that would be for me too
Speaker:I could see some people going like well
Speaker:it's a good balance I make a shitload of money
Speaker:and she or he pays for everything
Speaker:and it's fine but I would have a lot of trouble
Speaker:you and I were talking about this
Speaker:we both have weird I like you know
Speaker:I think we both do okay in life
Speaker:but we both have weird things that where
Speaker:when money is wasted we will lose our minds
Speaker:what is yours yours is like if you have to
Speaker:I will not order similarly on TV
Speaker:even if it's like a 99 cents or a dollar 99
Speaker:I'm like why I pay for all these streaming services
Speaker:we're watching a movie that it's free
Speaker:I'm gonna say something else and we can edit this out
Speaker:if you're not okay with this
Speaker:what you're gonna make fun of me
Speaker:oh I know what you're gonna say
Speaker:Eric is a doctor successful doctor
Speaker:it's not beautiful house
Speaker:beautiful house and it's not weird
Speaker:what can I say don't spoil it
Speaker:my great story I'm not
Speaker:she's very successful she's great
Speaker:the other day we're having sex and she's like hey
Speaker:would you put on some music
Speaker:and I go sure
Speaker:she's want you use my phone all right
Speaker:so I should have Pandora I'm like
Speaker:oh listen to some Billie Eilish radio
Speaker:and so things are happening
Speaker:and people taking the clothes off
Speaker:Billie Eilish is singing Billie Eilish finished singing
Speaker:and we're in the middle of something
Speaker:and I hear Fred Meyers has two for one
Speaker:hot dogs for the 4th of July
Speaker:come on into your local Fred Meyers
Speaker:for the best in all your buns needs
Speaker:we got hot dog buns it's time for the big game
Speaker:come on in and load up
Speaker:your cart with all the hot dog bun sale if Fred Meyers
Speaker:so now that's it's Pandora
Speaker:it's
Speaker:it's with as another problem is
Speaker:that was longer than the sex
Speaker:well you just did
Speaker:all right well
Speaker:now every time I hear Fred Meyers and I get our now
Speaker:what is it you just you like the
Speaker:what is it with the ad thing
Speaker:you don't you think it's a good fucking
Speaker:I think it's funny that's cute
Speaker:it's too expensive it's not the money
Speaker:I've had it for years
Speaker:and I don't want to go to a new platform that
Speaker:I have to learn and I have curated it
Speaker:so it plays my favorite songs
Speaker:over and over and over again
Speaker:based on a listen I've made
Speaker:I don't want to start from scratch
Speaker:that's true
Speaker:yeah
Speaker:my favorite playlist you have on there is Shut Up
Speaker:is cookout they have a
Speaker:I love the cookout playlist
Speaker:it's like half price hot dogs
Speaker:chicken wings no
Speaker:some people maybe I'm multitasking
Speaker:maybe I'm grocery shopping
Speaker:at the same time as giving you a blowjob wow
Speaker:my friend's a lawyer so be entertained now
Speaker:listening to my friends I know he has
Speaker:I know he has at least $3 million in the bank
Speaker:and he has Hulu with ads
Speaker:he says he likes it better
Speaker:he has a pretty good point
Speaker:he says
Speaker:it builds up the anticipation of watching the thing
Speaker:he goes
Speaker:I like it more cause I can go get a drink or whatever
Speaker:my son told me
Speaker:he didn't wanna fast pass its six flags amusement park
Speaker:cause he wanted to wait in line to have the
Speaker:what am I trying to say delayed gratification
Speaker:I think everyone has certain things like that
Speaker:if you become really dangerously cheap
Speaker:to your detriment where you're suffering unnecessarily
Speaker:yeah say you're reusing the same
Speaker:pair of underwear that have holes in them
Speaker:and they're stretched out really thin
Speaker:they don't sure their job
Speaker:or maybe they scratch you or something
Speaker:your shoes are worn out at the bottom
Speaker:and your toe hurts but you won't change it
Speaker:that's a problem
Speaker:I don't think ABS are a problem
Speaker:could I upgrade sure
Speaker:I don't you're right I changed all your time
Speaker:it's not as in no way a deal breaker
Speaker:I just find that to be an interesting thing
Speaker:I said upgrade I wasn't referencing my Pandora
Speaker:wow wow um
Speaker:but you're right
Speaker:too big of money things in my opinion deal breaker
Speaker:if someone didn't save any money and spent
Speaker:and lived paycheck to paycheck
Speaker:I would have a real big problem with that
Speaker:cause it goes so counter to all the things
Speaker:I am scared about yeah
Speaker:and I want security with I need to like
Speaker:save that money for the kids and all this
Speaker:I think that would be really difficult
Speaker:um but I do think it's interesting too
Speaker:that I will like splurge on like a really nice dinner
Speaker:and not even think twice about it
Speaker:and then I'll be like
Speaker:what where is the like I bought like
Speaker:I don't know band aids and they forgot them
Speaker:that was $2 right
Speaker:they screwed me out of my purchase like and it's weird
Speaker:it's weird it is you having me
Speaker:once
Speaker:I was watching a movie with my kids and they were like
Speaker:it's an old Adam Sandler
Speaker:we're having like an Adam Sandler week
Speaker:and they want to watch a grown UPS or something
Speaker:and they and I go
Speaker:grown UPS is on whatever Voodoo or Amazon Prime
Speaker:it was a dollar 99 to rent it
Speaker:and so I rent it and as I press purchase
Speaker:my son goes oh
Speaker:it's on Netflix oh
Speaker:dagger
Speaker:stomach hurt by physically I was in physical pain yeah
Speaker:that's not physical pain a dollar night and I was like
Speaker:oh what's the concept right of wasting something
Speaker:wasting something but yeah
Speaker:when I was drinking I'd buy a 14 dollar glass of wine
Speaker:commonly in Los Angeles which again
Speaker:that is a little counterintuitive because you yeah
Speaker:it's difficult you know
Speaker:that was interesting when we were um
Speaker:in in Vegas
Speaker:they had this whole row of like snacks and stuff
Speaker:and is super overpriced right
Speaker:yeah like raisinettes first of all
Speaker:who fucking eats those they still got raisinettes
Speaker:they were there damn
Speaker:where were where were we the Tropicana
Speaker:we're in Fremont Street
Speaker:that's like old school but I guess no
Speaker:it was it was right at the in the living room part
Speaker:anyway
Speaker:next to it they had her pleasure kit his pleasure kit
Speaker:did you see it
Speaker:and her pleasure kit was a personal massager lubricant
Speaker:wow
Speaker:and I think a condom
Speaker:and then his pleasure kit was a personal something
Speaker:loop and a condom
Speaker:but first of all I don't understand the difference
Speaker:why isn't it just one kit right
Speaker:cause it didn't show I didn't touch it
Speaker:but I was like reading it
Speaker:cause I was curious and I was like
Speaker:oh how do you pick how do you pick right
Speaker:but then the other thing is
Speaker:it was 50 bucks for I think one condom and one thing
Speaker:a loop and I was just sitting there thinking hmm
Speaker:is 50 bucks worth sex to me
Speaker:are you serious I don't know
Speaker:this is one of the things
Speaker:I would not even think about it
Speaker:and I would pay 50 immediately
Speaker:I got this is what a great price
Speaker:and I just use the jetted tub or something
Speaker:I don't know wow
Speaker:that's crazy because I would absolutely pay that
Speaker:like say usually we had no
Speaker:we had no con or anything like would you pay for that
Speaker:I wouldn't even think about it
Speaker:and I got mad about the two dollar movie
Speaker:I would do that if I had $50 left okay
Speaker:what if what if okay what if it was hundred bucks
Speaker:you could not go anywhere else theoretically
Speaker:what if your only chance well
Speaker:now I'm like taking this all about
Speaker:your only chance to sleep with someone
Speaker:it it it's me and you well
Speaker:no and what if we would just go
Speaker:no sex the next day somewhere else
Speaker:let's say we're just getting together
Speaker:and I feel like this is the moment
Speaker:we're gonna sleep together the first time
Speaker:and you're like I got a thousand dollars easy
Speaker:maybe 15 for the condiment loop easy what
Speaker:not even a question mortgage the house
Speaker:hundred percent
Speaker:if I really like you and I want and this could happen
Speaker:can't do they take credit cards
Speaker:oh man is there a banker I can speak to
Speaker:I would just go to bed
Speaker:I know this like Doordash or something
Speaker:I know this 15 hundred dollars if you wouldn't do it
Speaker:I would do Doordash if you were not interested
Speaker:fifteen hundred dollars what
Speaker:what is the most expensive condom you would buy
Speaker:if you were like the girls
Speaker:not on any kind of birth control
Speaker:I really wanna do it this his her pleasure pack
Speaker:but she'll do or the raisinettes
Speaker:what's it gonna be but she'll
Speaker:she would allow it without it kind of
Speaker:you have to have sex
Speaker:and the only way you can do it is this pleasure pack
Speaker:hmm
Speaker:it's different because I give you like
Speaker:for sure she would get pregnant otherwise
Speaker:so it's no sex or it's different because if it's you
Speaker:I'm going 15 maybe 2000 I mean I'm in the morning
Speaker:will I regret paying that much money
Speaker:I don't think I'll regret the same thing
Speaker:but I don't if it's just a random girl
Speaker:hundred dollars well
Speaker:that's very nice of you to
Speaker:it was that yeah
Speaker:I wasn't trying to be very nice
Speaker:I like how you don't even
Speaker:you're like you know what
Speaker:I wouldn't do it for wholesale price of the condom
Speaker:yeah it was 5 bucks if they were giving it away
Speaker:I would go to sleep early condom hmm
Speaker:I didn't notice that that's interesting
Speaker:it is well
Speaker:what an up sale too and that's messed up
Speaker:they should be free it's Vegas
Speaker:they should be handing them out everywhere
Speaker:but no
Speaker:that's like going to a ball game
Speaker:and they charge you like
Speaker:50 bucks for a bottle of water
Speaker:but now it's like oh
Speaker:you could have a child or you could have sex
Speaker:but if you don't have money sorry
Speaker:I feel like that's a massive
Speaker:what they mean they
Speaker:so they sell those kits for $50
Speaker:and I feel it's a little expensive
Speaker:but I would I would pay it for sure
Speaker:I think they would make the same amount of money
Speaker:if they cost $1 million
Speaker:because one guy would have to pay it
Speaker:one guy would buy one of those for $1 million
Speaker:there's some situations or you would pay
Speaker:I'm I'm
Speaker:I lied to you just now I would pay 10
Speaker:I would have paid 10 grand for it
Speaker:no you wouldn't have
Speaker:I think I'm ridiculous
Speaker:you're thinking of the concept of like
Speaker:us staying together yeah
Speaker:but I'm also picturing just sex with someone
Speaker:all right
Speaker:like you have the emotional tie
Speaker:that excuse the whole thing
Speaker:but I didn't I guess I did
Speaker:okay whatever
Speaker:okay we're not together
Speaker:we're not together and you're breaking up with me
Speaker:no yes
Speaker:I'm breaking up with you because of the fart
Speaker:okay model
Speaker:gorgeous girl gorgeous girl
Speaker:gorgeous girl
Speaker:yeah hand model or full body
Speaker:full body okay
Speaker:and we're in there she goes
Speaker:I would love to have sex with you
Speaker:but I need you to wear a condom
Speaker:how much am I paying for the kit
Speaker:yeah how much do I have
Speaker:what's my number that's what I'm saying
Speaker:it's a one time thing it's not a relationship
Speaker:it's like a I'm like super well
Speaker:this will never happen again
Speaker:hundred bucks that's it
Speaker:maybe 3 hmm
Speaker:how am I doing in my career
Speaker:are things good did I have a good weekend
Speaker:haha did I just
Speaker:did I make a bonus did I make a sell out bonus
Speaker:I just think it's interesting that
Speaker:we can talk about how we wouldn't pay $2 for a movie
Speaker:or yeah
Speaker:you have to have sex with me
Speaker:listening to Fred Meyer ads
Speaker:yeah but like you'd pay
Speaker:$15,000 for I don't know
Speaker:it's weird that we have these things in our head
Speaker:these hangups though
Speaker:because I remember when I was drinking
Speaker:I paid 20 bucks for a glass of wine cigars
Speaker:I bought a cigar for 30 bucks before yeah
Speaker:well but sometimes aren't they that expensive
Speaker:and yeah even worse yeah
Speaker:but like you know 20
Speaker:30 bucks and then if you think about like
Speaker:I bought a can of beer before for $7 at the concert
Speaker:isn't it so crazy that that can of beer
Speaker:that bottle of water is a dollar somewhere else
Speaker:but it's surrounding yourself and like in that scenario
Speaker:like huh it's worth it
Speaker:well gas X is like 4 bucks if you'd like to get some
Speaker:haha I'm very embarrassed
Speaker:this was not the scheduled programming today
Speaker:let's hang up and try this again tomorrow
Speaker:coming up on the next episode of afraid to ask
Speaker:so I went upstairs to make a phone call and I
Speaker:this is always been a thing
Speaker:I don't know why this is
Speaker:I don't know what is Nick asking
Speaker:cause I feel like I went up there
Speaker:I came back down and you go
Speaker:I thought you were gonna make a phone call
Speaker:I go oh
Speaker:I'm done cause it took me about one minute
Speaker:I didn't realize you were gone
Speaker:I know I was like I don't even know what I was doing
Speaker:so you maybe yeah
Speaker:when I was rushing my second
Speaker:you go and you do it you clean up you know
Speaker:I've been in airport
Speaker:but I don't this is what Nikki saying
Speaker:but I've been in airport bathrooms for one yesterday
Speaker:where I felt like a guy was like
Speaker:there was two guys having a wrestling match
Speaker:just like noises
Speaker:come on get in there and I just like
Speaker:like you've got this keep going
Speaker:you're like coaxing something I feel like it's like a
Speaker:in all seriously I feel like it's a struggle
Speaker:I feel like the bath is a struggle
