Jim Taylor of Benchmark Sixty and Adam Lamb of Chef Life Coaching get together to thank those working on this holiday, so others won’t have to.
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Welcome to another episode of Turning the Table my
Adam Lamb:name is Adam Lamb and I am a career coach for chefs and hospitality
Adam Lamb:professionals@cheflifecoaching.com.
Adam Lamb:And we have my co-host, Jim Taylor, benchmark 60 here with us.
Adam Lamb:Hey, Jim, Adam.
Adam Lamb:Happy Thanksgiving.
Adam Lamb:Happy Thanksgiving.
Adam Lamb:This is episode one 17.
Adam Lamb:What are you grateful for?
Adam Lamb:And how would anybody know?
Adam Lamb:On this episode we'll be talking about how an attitude of gratitude can make
Adam Lamb:the difference between struggling or thriving in your career and life.
Adam Lamb:At the end of the show I have a very special announcement that
Adam Lamb:I'd like to share with everybody.
Adam Lamb:. As always links to the videos and other things discussed in the show can be
Adam Lamb:found in the comments and the show notes.
Adam Lamb:And Jim, I kinda wanna started.
Adam Lamb:I start, I wanted to start with a couple things that we forgot to get to last week,
Adam Lamb:and that's some listener comments I got.
Adam Lamb:I got a DM from a guy by the name of Marcus, rep from Noble House hotels and
Adam Lamb:resorts, and we had a conversation and he was very generous about his praise
Adam Lamb:for our conversations on the show and how it was really important that.
Adam Lamb:That the chefs that he works with knows that it's okay to not be okay.
Adam Lamb:. Yes.
Adam Lamb:And I thought that that was a really lovely comment.
Adam Lamb:And I know that you also had somebody reach out to you and ask you what you
Adam Lamb:do, a podcast . Tell us about that.
Jim Taylor:Yeah, actually a, a good friend his name is Brett and, and
Jim Taylor:him and I have known each other for.
Jim Taylor:I dunno, since we were 12 years old or something like that.
Jim Taylor:And, and yeah.
Jim Taylor:Funny, he sorts, wait a second, you do a podcast.
Jim Taylor:You know, I guess we don't promote it well enough to our closest circle sometimes.
Jim Taylor:Right.
Jim Taylor:But right.
Jim Taylor:Exactly.
Jim Taylor:Yeah.
Jim Taylor:He he sent me a message saying that he'd listened to a couple of episodes
Jim Taylor:and, and just, you know, it was taken him back to, you know, he doesn't
Jim Taylor:work directly in restaurants anymore, but had a long career in hospitality
Jim Taylor:and was one of those people who.
Jim Taylor:Left, just said, I can't, I, I don't wanna do this anymore.
Jim Taylor:Right.
Jim Taylor:And so that was, that was good.
Jim Taylor:And then we had another, I've had another couple of really nice messages
Jim Taylor:from a, a guy named Ricardo who likely would be a good guest to have on here.
Jim Taylor:So, Ricardo, if you're listening, great.
Jim Taylor:We're thinking about you.
Jim Taylor:The message that he said actually was, I don't even, I've lo I've
Jim Taylor:lost track of how many episodes I've listened to . Cause everyone, you
Jim Taylor:know, just resonates really well.
Jim Taylor:So happy to hear that we're, we're talking about things that, that
Adam Lamb:matter.
Adam Lamb:That's awesome.
Adam Lamb:And before we move on about an attitude of gratitude, I wanted to
Adam Lamb:just kind of pop this in because our guest last week, Jensen Cummings
Adam Lamb:threw out a quote in the show.
Adam Lamb:They kind of glossed over a little bit, but he mentioned this book, radical
Adam Lamb:Candor how to Be a Kick Ass Boss Without Losing Your Humanity by Kim Scott.
Adam Lamb:And I have a link for that in the show notes for Amazon.
Adam Lamb:It's not an affiliate link, but I just wanted to say that since that, since
Adam Lamb:our conversation last week started the audiobook version of it and I was blown
Adam Lamb:away because I recognized that it's basically the leadership handbook for
Adam Lamb:the hashtag new hospitality culture.
Adam Lamb:You know, a lot of things that we talk about.
Adam Lamb:She summarizes in a really beautiful way and talks about her own
Adam Lamb:failings as a leader and mm-hmm.
Adam Lamb:how she was able to kind of dive into a study of like, what makes great leaders.
Adam Lamb:And she worked for Google and, you know led a team of 700
Adam Lamb:and, and stuff like that, but I.
Adam Lamb:I gained more from you know, her stories of failures.
Adam Lamb:Like she was talking about one guy that was kind of doing mediocre work
Adam Lamb:and she kind of patted him on the back and said, yeah, great, okay.
Adam Lamb:Even though he was falling short and that continued on and on and on, and
Adam Lamb:then the rest of her team started looking at this and going like, what?
Adam Lamb:Like, what's going on?
Adam Lamb:She ended up having the firearm and his question to her was,
Adam Lamb:well, why didn't you tell me?
Adam Lamb:Like, why didn't you tell me where I was going?
Adam Lamb:Yeah.
Adam Lamb:And she took that to heart.
Adam Lamb:And then, so some people think this radical candor idea is,
Adam Lamb:is an excuse to be an asshole.
Adam Lamb:And this is not the case at all because really the first quadrant
Adam Lamb:of this is be a human, be a human being bring your whole self to work
Adam Lamb:and celebrate that and know that.
Adam Lamb:Encourage other people to do the same.
Adam Lamb:Because again, we've talked about this a lot on the show, this kind of
Adam Lamb:primary lie that we tell ourselves is that, you know, we leave it all at
Adam Lamb:the door, which is complete horses.
Adam Lamb:And when, when we see somebody struggling, you know, either we ignore
Adam Lamb:it hoping that they're gonna straighten themselves out, and maybe I'll just
Adam Lamb:say, I've done this and, and own it.
Adam Lamb:Or allow them to struggle with some sort.
Adam Lamb:You know, having to pay the pendants of, oh, you went out and drank last night.
Adam Lamb:Right.
Adam Lamb:Oh, okay, cool.
Adam Lamb:I'll let you, I'll just stand here and watch you go down and place . But she
Adam Lamb:she was working from the principal, like, how do I create an environment by which.
Adam Lamb:People love to come to work, so she's not afraid of the L word love.
Adam Lamb:Yeah.
Adam Lamb:Which I celebrate and you talk a lot about, because I think every, most
Adam Lamb:of the time when I throw a question to you about leadership, your response
Adam Lamb:is like, I was challenged to create an environment on my shifts where
Adam Lamb:people really love to come to work.
Adam Lamb:Mm-hmm.
Adam Lamb:. Jim Taylor: Yeah.
Adam Lamb:Yeah.
Adam Lamb:And, and it's, we've talked about this like you said a few times before.
Adam Lamb:Mm-hmm.
Adam Lamb:. And it doesn't have to be this thing about, you know, make it this fluffy,
Adam Lamb:you know place where there's no candor.
Adam Lamb:Like you said, there's no feedback, there's no mm-hmm.
Adam Lamb:, you know, nothing constructive.
Adam Lamb:There's no development, there's no any of, you know, tiptoeing
Adam Lamb:around making sure people just.
Adam Lamb:You know, like their experience.
Adam Lamb:It's about, you know, the supporting of people, the, the fact that we care
Adam Lamb:about people's success, the fact that, you know, everybody wants to learn and
Adam Lamb:part of learning is about feedback.
Adam Lamb:And that whole process, but it's, you know, I think I've mentioned
Adam Lamb:this before in some of our discussions, is that it's afil.
Adam Lamb:It's actually more of a filter than than anything else, right?
Adam Lamb:Mm-hmm.
Adam Lamb:providing a workplace that people love to come to is actually a filter for how you
Adam Lamb:design the experience for the employees more than it is about creating a fluffy
Adam Lamb:experience.
Adam Lamb:So talk to me a little bit more about, like, when you say it's
Adam Lamb:a filter, does that mean that like you're looking at your.
Adam Lamb:Staff's experience from the moment they hit the door to the moment that they
Adam Lamb:leave, that you're constantly trying to like, I guess be in their shoes.
Adam Lamb:Like be in their clogs.
Adam Lamb:Be in their aprons, be like, yeah, and, and take into account like, okay,
Adam Lamb:so what's their experience about.
Adam Lamb:Sure.
Jim Taylor:You know, I, I, I think it applies to, you can apply it
Jim Taylor:pretty much like I said, as a filter to any category of the business.
Jim Taylor:So think about, you know, the hiring experience or the interview process.
Jim Taylor:Does it take three weeks to get through the interview process or is it something
Jim Taylor:that, you know, they know where, right away, where they stand when they get
Jim Taylor:hired, is, do they actually get trained or do they just get, here's your apron
Jim Taylor:and hop online and try and figure it out?
Jim Taylor:Sure.
Jim Taylor:Here's a tray.
Jim Taylor:Go serve those tables and then hold them accountable to the
Jim Taylor:fact that the service wasn't.
Jim Taylor:Well, they haven't been trained.
Jim Taylor:You know, when it comes to feedback, like you said, is it, is
Jim Taylor:it direct and supportive in a way that's gonna help them improve?
Jim Taylor:Or are we just telling them that they did a bad job?
Jim Taylor:Mm-hmm.
Jim Taylor:, you know, all of those, you can go down the line of different experiences
Jim Taylor:thinking about what is the staff gonna.
Jim Taylor:Love about their job or what are they gonna leave their job?
Jim Taylor:And the question that I always used to ask people when I asked them,
Jim Taylor:you know, employees and, and people that I worked with, if they loved
Jim Taylor:coming to work every day mm-hmm.
Jim Taylor:I would ask them that question.
Jim Taylor:Do you love coming to work every day?
Jim Taylor:Do you enjoy your job?
Jim Taylor:How are you doing?
Jim Taylor:and then let them go about their answer.
Jim Taylor:And then I would ask them, what do you tell your parents or your spouse
Jim Taylor:or your friends, what do you tell them about your experience at work?
Jim Taylor:Because I know what, in most cases, if they had any feedback, uhhuh,
Jim Taylor:what they're saying to their friends and family is different than what
Jim Taylor:they probably would say to me.
Jim Taylor:And so we used to ask that question and still do in certain scenarios
Jim Taylor:because it, it positions it differently about like, be honest with me.
Jim Taylor:Tell me about, you know, give us feedback cuz that's part of the process.
Adam Lamb:I, yeah, I think it takes a certain degree of maturity in that
Adam Lamb:position, that leadership position, to be able to ask that question.
Adam Lamb:Because, you know, you might get , you might get an answer that's That's
Adam Lamb:directed at you in a negative way.
Adam Lamb:And so how do you actually interpret that and try to glean the gold out
Adam Lamb:of that and then throw the rest of away as like being, you know, highly
Adam Lamb:emotive experience or whatever.
Adam Lamb:And so I know why younger managers probably wouldn't say that because
Adam Lamb:again, speaking for myself, taking a great deal of pride in what I.
Adam Lamb:And how I show up every day and then have somebody criticize that.
Adam Lamb:That's not my boss, . Yeah.
Adam Lamb:That takes, that takes I guess that, that takes a filter of neutrality, right?
Adam Lamb:Like assuming a filter of neutrality says that.
Adam Lamb:I like what they're talking about.
Adam Lamb:What they're saying is not really a reflection on me, it's a, it's, they're
Adam Lamb:talking about their experience and I don't necessarily have to react to it.
Adam Lamb:I don't have to defend myself because I've been in those situations where
Adam Lamb:someone will say something and I'll go right on the defensive and try to
Adam Lamb:argue with them when in fact they feel that way because they feel that way
Adam Lamb:and there's no other reason other.
Adam Lamb:And by the way, but if you're in a position of
Jim Taylor:leadership, you might actually have an opportunity
Jim Taylor:to do something about it.
Jim Taylor:Sure, absolutely.
Jim Taylor:We had a really interesting example actually with a restaurant
Jim Taylor:group that we're working with at Benchmark 60 yesterday.
Jim Taylor:And it's funny that now we're talking about this cuz it was exactly this,
Jim Taylor:this scenario, this, this conversation about people loving coming to
Jim Taylor:work and, and actually, you know, it sounds a little bit woo woo.
Jim Taylor:You know, the, the impact that that has on the business.
Jim Taylor:And so in this specific scenario, we were talking about the, the opportunity
Jim Taylor:for this, this restaurant to be more profitable or this group of restaurants
Jim Taylor:to be more profitable and found that there was something going on that was causing
Jim Taylor:the average wage of their employees when they looked at it as a, as a whole to be
Jim Taylor:really, really high, you know, compared to what they thought they were paying people.
Jim Taylor:And so we started to look at that.
Jim Taylor:We found that there was five employees in one location working.
Jim Taylor:Each of them was working at least 70 hours a week.
Jim Taylor:Holy crap.
Jim Taylor:So, okay, so on one hand it's causing, you know, they're
Jim Taylor:paying time and a half to mm-hmm.
Jim Taylor:a lot of people for a lot of hours every week, which is just, you
Jim Taylor:know, pouring money down the drain.
Jim Taylor:So there's the financial side to it, but we actually, the interesting
Jim Taylor:thing that was the sort of trigger for action with that group was, One of them
Jim Taylor:actually said, there's no way they enjoy
Adam Lamb:that.
Adam Lamb:Who does?
Adam Lamb:Right.
Adam Lamb:You know, that's, that's like that veneration of overwork.
Adam Lamb:You know, those would be the people who are like, yeah, I'm in the grind.
Adam Lamb:And I saw meme the other day.
Adam Lamb:I almost burst out laughing.
Adam Lamb:There's a picture of a line cook who's, you know, bragging about working
Adam Lamb:70 hours and, and he's in the grind.
Adam Lamb:And then there's a little tagline on the bottom, like, fascinating.
Adam Lamb:He's celebrating he's celebrating the conditions of his.
Adam Lamb:Of his servitude or, or something like that.
Adam Lamb:It's like he's all, he's all of a sudden become like celebratory of the fact that
Adam Lamb:there is a system of oppression that he's, that he's bought into and has actually
Adam Lamb:taken on that as a point of pride.
Adam Lamb:And before I go any further, I just wanted to say to to our
Adam Lamb:listeners, happy Thanksgiving.
Adam Lamb:You know, it's, it's us Thanksgiving and you guys are working, so we are too.
Adam Lamb:And I just wanted to also, mm-hmm.
Adam Lamb:, make note of the fact that Canadians Celebrate there
Adam Lamb:Thanksgiving, October 11th.
Adam Lamb:Is it Jim?
Jim Taylor:Well, it, yeah, it's typically around, it's around that date.
Jim Taylor:Yeah.
Jim Taylor:Yeah.
Adam Lamb:And I don't remember us ever, you know, shouting out to, I mean, Jim,
Adam Lamb:you're Canadian, my wife is Canadian.
Adam Lamb:There's lots of of folks from Canada that actually listen to the show, and
Adam Lamb:maybe we should be, we can be a little bit more attuned to the fact that.
Adam Lamb:Listeners from other areas have things to celebrate as well and should be.
Adam Lamb:Yeah.
Adam Lamb:And venerated for that.
Adam Lamb:And the fact of the matter is, is, you know, it's kind of our
Adam Lamb:salute to the troops to be here.
Adam Lamb:I know LinkedIn is probably a ghost town right now because everybody . But,
Adam Lamb:but we chose to be here because we wanted you all to know just
Adam Lamb:how grateful we are for you and
Jim Taylor:that, and, and speaking for the Canadian.
Jim Taylor:Contingency.
Jim Taylor:Okay.
Jim Taylor:We're not upset about not having the happy Thanksgiving because
Jim Taylor:we didn't do a show on that day.
Jim Taylor:Right, right,
Adam Lamb:right.
Adam Lamb:But I mean, it's is that, yeah, and I'm in a very unique situation this year
Adam Lamb:because probably for the first time and 30 years I'm actually at home and so.
Adam Lamb:I'm at my daughter's house in Roan Mountain, Tennessee where she's
Adam Lamb:created this kind of like animal village farm, which is insanity.
Adam Lamb:And I recognized that I hadn't seen my mother in about 12
Adam Lamb:years since my son got married.
Adam Lamb:And so last year I was kind of dancing around the subject, Hey mom, maybe
Adam Lamb:you wanna come out, da da da da.
Adam Lamb:And she was watching her stepson's dogs, my, my half-brother.
Adam Lamb:And so this year I just called it and I said, I'm not gonna be a
Adam Lamb:victim of the circumstance anymore.
Adam Lamb:Called her up about a month before I said, Mo find, find somebody to watch the dogs.
Adam Lamb:I'm.
Adam Lamb:Send you a flight.
Adam Lamb:And she got in about 1230 at night two nights ago.
Adam Lamb:And we drove up here yesterday and to see her with my two daughters.
Adam Lamb:As adults having this experience with each other.
Adam Lamb:I just blown away, man, so I can, I'm like so deeply grateful and
Adam Lamb:we haven't even got to dinner yet.
Adam Lamb:It's just I go out on the balcony and there's my mother talking to one of the
Adam Lamb:girls and instead of like interrupting them, I just kind of like walk away
Adam Lamb:and allow them to have their experience because I realize that how important
Adam Lamb:it is for them and how important it's for my mother to feel connected to them.
Adam Lamb:And you.
Adam Lamb:All of us got our own shit, and there's always a reason not to connect.
Adam Lamb:And I just felt very strongly that I needed to do something to kind
Adam Lamb:of facilitate this connection.
Adam Lamb:So and to be frank, facilitating this connection with you
Adam Lamb:today, I feel very grateful.
Adam Lamb:So yeah, that's what I'm grateful for.
Jim Taylor:Well, I mean, I, I think even though we went through this process,
Jim Taylor:Canadian, well, it's not a process.
Jim Taylor:We have our Thanksgiving, like we said, a few months or a month ago.
Jim Taylor:Yep.
Jim Taylor:But You know, we spend a lot of time in the US and with American
Jim Taylor:restaurant groups and, and have lots of friends in the, so Thanksgiving's
Jim Taylor:always something and plus there's good football to watch today, right.
Jim Taylor:So we can be, you know, think about that . I mean the front and center
Jim Taylor:thing for me is that I've got actually she's three months old today.
Jim Taylor:Yeah.
Jim Taylor:So thankful for that.
Jim Taylor:Yeah.
Adam Lamb:You know, as a matter of fact, I think we started our.
Adam Lamb:Not too long after she was born.
Adam Lamb:Right.
Adam Lamb:So it's kind of like been able to chronicle the whole experience of
Adam Lamb:not, not only you know her, but the experience of your wife and the
Adam Lamb:experience of you guys together.
Adam Lamb:And I know we've had some phone calls at, you know, Sunday at 10
Adam Lamb:o'clock when you're driving her around trying to get her to sleep.
Adam Lamb:Yeah.
Adam Lamb:But like, holy moly, what a big thing.
Adam Lamb:And again, how wonderful it is that you are as an entrepreneur.
Adam Lamb:Someone who can actually be there present pretty much all day long.
Adam Lamb:I mean, you've got your business calls and stuff and so I've
Adam Lamb:just kind of recognizing, you know, in my 30 years, how.
Adam Lamb:You know, working the holidays and work in the birthdays and stuff.
Adam Lamb:And my children were always kind of like, yeah, dad, it's cool.
Adam Lamb:Got it.
Adam Lamb:Not a problem.
Adam Lamb:And yet I always had this sense of guilt inside that I wasn't
Adam Lamb:necessarily present for them, and that I have such a deep connected
Adam Lamb:relation to the relationship to them.
Adam Lamb:Now I feel like more like, like what a lucky bastard I am, because I know
Adam Lamb:lots of folks in a similar situation.
Adam Lamb:Yeah.
Adam Lamb:You know, their kids have made up a different story and like I said, you know,
Adam Lamb:they feel how they feel like they feel.
Adam Lamb:So you can't argue with that.
Adam Lamb:You can't do anything about it except just to love 'em up.
Adam Lamb:And so mm-hmm.
Adam Lamb:, I encourage those who may not necessarily be having the same
Adam Lamb:experience today to make it a priority and just make it happen.
Jim Taylor:And we were talking earlier about things that were, we're grateful
Jim Taylor:for, directly related to the re.
Jim Taylor:Industry and our experience in it.
Jim Taylor:And you know, I think we should spend some time on that because we, you know,
Jim Taylor:we, and I, I thought a lot about this this morning and, you know, we talked a
Jim Taylor:little bit about it before the show, but I was thinking about, you know, it's okay.
Jim Taylor:So it's Thanksgiving and you know, we're, there's no matter what you do, you're
Jim Taylor:gonna be put in this position where you're gonna think about the things that are
Jim Taylor:going really well in your life and that you're grateful for and thankful for.
Jim Taylor:And Uhhuh and I actually ended up.
Jim Taylor:Sort of organically going through this process in my brain of thinking about
Jim Taylor:the, all of the amazing experiences and learnings and connections and
Jim Taylor:relationships and all of that, that, that came from working in restaurants.
Jim Taylor:Mm.
Jim Taylor:And I think, you know, we, we often on this show and in lots of scenarios,
Jim Taylor:talk about the challenges that exist in hospitality and the things we need to work
Jim Taylor:on and the, the opportunities that exist.
Jim Taylor:, you know, the 70 hour weeks and the mm-hmm.
Jim Taylor:, you know, the, the levels of stress and the workload and the, you know,
Jim Taylor:inflation and all these different things that are going on that make it hard.
Jim Taylor:But, you know, I wouldn't I know I wouldn't be where I am
Jim Taylor:today in my life if I hadn't.
Jim Taylor:Spent as much time as I did in restaurants.
Jim Taylor:Mm-hmm.
Jim Taylor:, I knew I wouldn't be as confident speaking with people.
Jim Taylor:I wouldn't be as outgoing.
Jim Taylor:I wouldn't be as, you know, comfortable in with strangers.
Jim Taylor:I wouldn't be married to the woman that I'm married to if I hadn't worked in,
Adam Lamb:yeah.
Jim Taylor:Right.
Jim Taylor:Yeah.
Jim Taylor:So that list for me is, is endless.
Adam Lamb:So, yeah, I, I, the, you know, we talked at the top of the show
Adam Lamb:about an attitude of gratitude and for me, you know, Might sound a little woo.
Adam Lamb:I'm not scared of the woo.
Adam Lamb:Okay.
Adam Lamb:What I know is that there, there is a biochemical reaction that happens
Adam Lamb:in the brain when you consciously choose to be grateful for what you
Adam Lamb:have, like focus on that as opposed to focusing on the negative and.
Adam Lamb:My experience in working in hospitality is there are so many negatives.
Adam Lamb:There are so many things that it seems to be natural to want to bitch about 'em or
Adam Lamb:to talk about 'em because in one way you need to kind of get that out of yourself.
Adam Lamb:So you need someone else to talk about it.
Adam Lamb:But after a while, it's because it feels like, you know, misery loves company, so
Adam Lamb:everybody's kind of like at this lower vibration for, for lack of a better word.
Adam Lamb:And it's taken me, you know, I've had some health challenges this year and
Adam Lamb:there have been moments where I had.
Adam Lamb:Shift my way of thinking around away from pain to like looking around my
Adam Lamb:house and, and my wife and my, and my connections and like having to like
Adam Lamb:consciously choose to be connected to that as opposed to why things suck in my body.
Adam Lamb:And what I discovered was, is that as soon as I started looking about the,
Adam Lamb:looking around about the things that I was grateful for, I found more reason.
Adam Lamb:So I'll give you a great example.
Adam Lamb:My daughter loves to say fml, right?
Adam Lamb:Which is short for her.
Adam Lamb:Fuck my mom because she's like, I got all these animals and I gotta do this.
Adam Lamb:And, and she's created it all on her . She somehow forgets that she made this choice.
Adam Lamb:Mm-hmm.
Adam Lamb:, but she'll go, da da da da.
Adam Lamb:And I'm like, don't you say that, don't you say that out loud,
Adam Lamb:don't you say that out loud.
Adam Lamb:Because what ends up happening is that vibration actually goes out and you'll
Adam Lamb:start finding more reason to say that.
Adam Lamb:And so what about like, looking around.
Adam Lamb:Just like being grateful about where you're at, what you have.
Adam Lamb:Okay, not perfect.
Adam Lamb:Don't have everything.
Adam Lamb:Who cares?
Adam Lamb:All of us can find at least one or two things today to be grateful
Adam Lamb:for and use that as a way of being.
Adam Lamb:And then the next question would be like, okay, so how do you
Adam Lamb:actually show that gratitude?
Adam Lamb:Is it in the way of interacting with others?
Adam Lamb:Do you have a smile on your face because you're remembering, you
Adam Lamb:know, just how fortunate you are?
Adam Lamb:You know, my daughter was involved in an accident not too long ago,
Adam Lamb:and she came very, very close to the outcome being completely different.
Adam Lamb:And she's walking around and she's healthy , and she's here,
Adam Lamb:which I'm incredibly grateful for.
Adam Lamb:And yet I know for a lot of folks that they don't have
Adam Lamb:that opportunity, so, mm-hmm.
Adam Lamb:. The question is, it's like, okay, is there something in your life
Adam Lamb:that you can be grateful for?
Adam Lamb:And if you continue to focus on that, can you find other things?
Adam Lamb:And then how do you actually express that gratitude either
Adam Lamb:to yourself or to others?
Adam Lamb:Because once that happens, everything starts to shift.
Adam Lamb:I like to say, if you move on energy on one thing, you move energy on everything.
Adam Lamb:So, and to get back to your point about like, I could very easily.
Adam Lamb:Look at my body and say, you know, I did damage to my body by my conscious
Adam Lamb:choice to be a chef and work in kitchens and have work on tables that were
Adam Lamb:too short or too high or whatever.
Adam Lamb:Mm-hmm.
Adam Lamb:in bad environments or whatever.
Adam Lamb:I could look at that and say, you know, I'm a broken down chef now because
Adam Lamb:those are the choices that I made and crap, and yet, . I can also look back and
Adam Lamb:remember this very specific opportunity.
Adam Lamb:I was connected to art Institute of Fort Lauderdale, their culinary program.
Adam Lamb:And at one point they asked us Janet Bush Miller, that
Adam Lamb:saying, happy Thanksgiving guys.
Adam Lamb:Happy Thanksgiving, Janet.
Adam Lamb:Happy Thanksgiving, Janet.
Adam Lamb:They asked me and 20 other chefs to fly to Houston to take part in a quorum
Adam Lamb:because they wanted to reevaluate their entire culinary program.
Adam Lamb:And so we're sitting in this room and there's this very lovely, very
Adam Lamb:nice woman, a facilitator, and she's got a, a pad of yellow stickies.
Adam Lamb:And then she starts asking each one of us what we know, like what are the skill
Adam Lamb:sets that, you know being a culinary.
Adam Lamb:And before long, the entire wall was covered with these little yellow stickies.
Adam Lamb:And I looked up at it.
Adam Lamb:I'm like, I, I had no idea that I knew all that.
Adam Lamb:Right, like maybe I hadn't used that particular skill set or whatever, but
Adam Lamb:I thought about, you know, all those experience that led up to that moment
Adam Lamb:and all the things that I had been kind of the, the skill sets and knowledge
Adam Lamb:that I'd been like kind of put in my back pocket and to see it on a wall.
Adam Lamb:I was blown away.
Adam Lamb:And that's when I realized that.
Adam Lamb:The things that I've learned as a culinary and a hospitality professional are skill
Adam Lamb:sets that are directly transferable to other areas, other careers.
Adam Lamb:If I wanted to, like I throw out the, the easiest one, which
Adam Lamb:is project management, right?
Adam Lamb:There are people who get paid big money for managing projects around
Adam Lamb:certain timelines because in the end, the product is, the product is the
Adam Lamb:product, whether it's a building or it's a digital product, or it's a plate of.
Adam Lamb:Sometimes we have to take, again, in a very neutral fashion, take
Adam Lamb:our ego out of and go, okay, so , do you know what I mean?
Adam Lamb:Oh, yeah.
Adam Lamb:Because some of us are really committed to that plate of chicken
Adam Lamb:. Jim Taylor: Yeah.
Adam Lamb:Yeah.
Adam Lamb:Project management is definitely one of those things.
Adam Lamb:You know, like we were talking about things like communication
Adam Lamb:I think is one of the, the things that I'm the most grateful for.
Adam Lamb:From my experience in restaurants and whether that's communication in terms of
Adam Lamb:dealing with customers, you know, a whole bunch of them all at the same time, that
Adam Lamb:are all, all have expectations, whether it's communicating with the kitchen.
Adam Lamb:Because I spent most of my time in the front of house.
Adam Lamb:So maybe communicating with the kitchen when things are really busy, you
Adam Lamb:know, trying to make sure that things go well for the guest, communicating
Adam Lamb:with the team, giving feedback.
Adam Lamb:You know, there's all these different ways that you know, I'm incredibly
Adam Lamb:grateful for that in terms of my experience in hospitality, because it
Adam Lamb:gave me endless opportunity to practice.
Adam Lamb:Mm-hmm.
Adam Lamb:Every day, all day.
Adam Lamb:Yeah.
Adam Lamb:And, and you know, we've had some really amazing people on the show.
Adam Lamb:You know, I'm thinking about Kelly feathering them and her book about
Adam Lamb:the ABCs of, of leadership, you know, where she's talking about assumptions,
Adam Lamb:boundaries, and communication.
Adam Lamb:And it seems like a lot of the folks that we have come on the show come
Adam Lamb:back to the central feature of, you know, what, what is good communication?
Adam Lamb:And I guess I would juxtapose that, like, is it good or is it effective?
Adam Lamb:And so I was taught coming up that you give a shit sandwich, right?
Adam Lamb:You talk about something positive, then you bring up this negative
Adam Lamb:act or, or performance, and then you sandwich that with another
Adam Lamb:piece of, of good news, right?
Adam Lamb:Yeah.
Adam Lamb:Yeah.
Adam Lamb:And that's, and that's when I understood that no, you know, it's, it's like putting
Adam Lamb:cheese on a shit sandwich, you know?
Adam Lamb:It still doesn't make a taste any better and.
Adam Lamb:What I've come to understand is that people receiving that now think it's
Adam Lamb:disingenuous in both ways, right?
Adam Lamb:Like, how can they trust the good stuff when you kind of, so again,
Adam Lamb:coming back to the, to the book Radical Candor, it's like you can give direct
Adam Lamb:feedback in a mutually honoring way that they understand the message clearly
Adam Lamb:without confusing the situation with throwing like false praise on it.
Adam Lamb:So, mm-hmm.
Adam Lamb:, even though I consider myself to be a good communicator, I'm.
Adam Lamb:Through this show and through my own personal development, so many ways
Adam Lamb:to communicate more effectively, especially, you know, in my own personal
Adam Lamb:relationships with my daughters, with my.
Adam Lamb:Because I know for my own sake, for my own self, that work was a great refuge.
Adam Lamb:You know, if there was crap going on at home, I could always go at
Adam Lamb:work and be kind of understood and respected and people would have
Adam Lamb:to do what I say and less conflict inevitably have to come home.
Adam Lamb:And so what kind of skill sets do you need in order to not only support you at home?
Adam Lamb:Mm-hmm.
Adam Lamb:, but at also at.
Adam Lamb:So I think that's a great quandary, great inquiry to be in, don't you?
Jim Taylor:Yeah, absolutely.
Jim Taylor:And the, the shit sandwich thing, kind of a funny one that I did a
Jim Taylor:lot of multi-unit management mm-hmm.
Jim Taylor:. And the joke that we always had amongst that group or that team
Jim Taylor:was don't we always used to say to each other, don't be a seagull.
Jim Taylor:Wow.
Jim Taylor:Don't be a seagull.
Jim Taylor:Don't fly in shit all over the place and fly out.
Jim Taylor:No, I, you know, it, it, it resonated always really well with me, partly
Jim Taylor:cuz I just think it's kind of funny.
Jim Taylor:But it, you know, it really, again, there was that filter of don't just
Jim Taylor:show up at the restaurant one day out of 20, give a bunch of, you know,
Jim Taylor:feedback, quote unquote, and leave.
Jim Taylor:To not be seen again for 20 days.
Jim Taylor:You know, nobody's going to enjoy their experience when the, the
Jim Taylor:district or regional manager shows up if, if they're a sea all Mm.
Jim Taylor:Right.
Jim Taylor:So, you know, that was a, always a good one for me.
Jim Taylor:And then the other thing, speaking of sort of the grateful,
Jim Taylor:being grateful for, for things.
Jim Taylor:We used to do this exercise, which I think I.
Jim Taylor:You know, I was thinking about this this morning before we got on the show.
Jim Taylor:I wanna challenge everybody who's listening to us now or listens
Jim Taylor:to us down the road, or mm-hmm.
Jim Taylor:, you know, I'm gonna intentionally do this today.
Jim Taylor:And, you know, Adam, you should do this too.
Jim Taylor:Or, here's my challenge to you.
Jim Taylor:We used to do this exercise where we would, in, in group sessions or in
Jim Taylor:boot camps with people or, you know conferences and stuff, we would say, okay,
Jim Taylor:everybody, everybody pull out their phone.
Jim Taylor:Usually we're in those meetings and those types of things, we're telling
Jim Taylor:everybody to put their phone away, right?
Jim Taylor:Right.
Jim Taylor:Get off your phone.
Jim Taylor:We say, okay, pull out your phone.
Jim Taylor:I want you to send a message to somebody that you care about,
Jim Taylor:thanking them for something.
Jim Taylor:Telling them that you love them, or telling them that you're
Jim Taylor:grateful or telling them, you know, thank you for, for this or that.
Jim Taylor:And then we used to ask for a volunteer to read out the response
Jim Taylor:that they got from people.
Jim Taylor:And it was always shocking the responses that came back from people because,
Jim Taylor:you know, you'd have someone send a message to a friend that they haven't
Jim Taylor:talked to in a few months or, you know, something like that and just saying, I,
Jim Taylor:you know, I love you and I, I'm grateful for you and this and that, and you've
Jim Taylor:always done these good things from me.
Jim Taylor:And you'd get these responses that would be like, are you okay?
Jim Taylor:Do you need me to come get you?
Jim Taylor:Is something wrong?
Jim Taylor:Are you drunk?
Jim Taylor:Are you, are you in trouble?
Jim Taylor:Like, you know what's going on?
Jim Taylor:And it just always was a good reminder that we just don't do that stuff often.
Adam Lamb:Yeah, I, I totally get it, man.
Adam Lamb:It's so powerful and, okay, so I, I, I'm good.
Adam Lamb:I'll, I'm up to the challenge.
Adam Lamb:I'll do that.
Adam Lamb:Yeah.
Jim Taylor:And you know, maybe next week when we're on the show, we should
Jim Taylor:read out a couple of responses from
Adam Lamb:people.
Adam Lamb:Yeah, definitely.
Adam Lamb:We want them to . Yeah.
Adam Lamb:Share 'em with us so that we can share 'em on the show.
Adam Lamb:I gotta tell you Jim, this entire experience of working with Benchmark
Adam Lamb:60 and creating this show for me has been a labor of love.
Adam Lamb:And I can't tell you how grateful I am to be able to spend this time with you
Adam Lamb:every week regardless of whether it's Thanksgiving or football, which is 1230.
Adam Lamb:I think kickoff is going on right now.
Adam Lamb:. Yeah.
Adam Lamb:Because I know that we are always focused on possibilities and
Adam Lamb:solutions and how important that is.
Adam Lamb:Because, you know, we've had some really high flying guests that
Adam Lamb:talk about concepts that may, may or may not be deliverable.
Adam Lamb:And yet I know that we're always kind of focused on one or two or three
Adam Lamb:pieces that can actually be delivered.
Adam Lamb:And really encouraging other other providers in the same space, other
Adam Lamb:podcasters, other speakers to do the same.
Adam Lamb:all these different solutions and outlooks and perspectives
Adam Lamb:matter in the long run.
Adam Lamb:That's why I was so excited to actually dig into Radical Candor because soon as
Adam Lamb:I started reading it, because I'm in the process of writing a new book, right?
Adam Lamb:And when I'm reading, when I'm listening to the book, driving in the car, I'm
Adam Lamb:like, oh, Godammit, she talked about that.
Adam Lamb:She, well, like now I have nothing to write about.
Adam Lamb:Which is cool.
Adam Lamb:So I just wanted to say thank you.
Adam Lamb:I wanted to thank the listeners who've supported us since day one.
Adam Lamb:Again, the show continues to grow and reach.
Adam Lamb:Folks are, once they find the show, they're they're going through all the
Adam Lamb:episodes and I know that sometimes you know, they may get a little emotional
Adam Lamb:and get a little wonky, but that's okay.
Adam Lamb:At least it's real and transparent and vulnerable, which are a couple of the
Adam Lamb:values that, that we hold to be dear.
Adam Lamb:So thank you very much.
Jim Taylor:Yeah.
Jim Taylor:Well, thank you too.
Jim Taylor:You know, this, this conversation that happens every week wouldn't
Jim Taylor:exist if it wasn't for you.
Jim Taylor:So , thank,
Adam Lamb:thank you much.
Adam Lamb:Yeah, now you made me all flustered, man.
Adam Lamb:Thank you for that.
Adam Lamb:No, it's, it's okay.
Adam Lamb:I can be emotional.
Adam Lamb:And happy Thanksgiving.
Adam Lamb:I wanna say thank you to all the troops out there who are in service to those.
Adam Lamb:Who won't have to.
Adam Lamb:And what you're doing is a sacred thing, man.
Adam Lamb:You're providing an opportunity for people who may not have seen one
Adam Lamb:another for a long time, to come around a table and be in relationship.
Adam Lamb:And what I know about our country, about our world right now is
Adam Lamb:that we need more relationship.
Adam Lamb:We need more opportunity to get down and be with one another, and.
Adam Lamb:As as the mediator for my second divorce said, I've, I've yet to see
Adam Lamb:somebody angry with a mouth full of food,
Adam Lamb:I'll tell you that story next week.
Adam Lamb:But thanks very much everybody, and we look forward to seeing