Embrace Wellness: How to Be Your Best Self - with Sehar Shahid

Artwork for podcast Thriving Woman Project

Episode 3 • 15th November 2023 • Thriving Woman Project • Wendy Griffith

Welcome to the Thriving Woman Project podcast hosted by myself, Wendy Griffith. This is the podcast for women who want to level up and thrive in all areas of your life, health, and business. Join us as we cover a range of topics, all inspiring you to thrive and not just survive. We are here to work on the project of you, because I believe the best gift you can give your family and the world is a healthy and thriving you.

:: 00:24

It's time to thrive. Hi, Thrivers, and welcome back to episode three of season four of the Thriving Woman Project podcast. And I have a really special guest with us today, which I'm so excited for you to hear from. She's an amazing woman, so inspiring, and I just know that you're going to get so much value.

:: 00:45

from all the information that she shares today in the conversation that we're going to have. So I just wanted to take this opportunity to welcome you, my gorgeous friend, Sehar, onto today's episode. Hello, I'm so excited to be here. Thank you so much for asking me to come on this podcast. It's a favorite one of mine.

:: 01:04

I love listening. So it's really nice to be on the other end. And, um, be sharing some, some of my insights in my life with you today. Amazing. So yes, you can hear you've got sort of a very multi-cultural, um, you know, guest here today. So you've got, um, Sehar who sitting up in Glasgow in Scotland. You've obviously got me down here in Norfolk, in the UK and England, but with the South African accents.

:: 01:29

So. Hopefully you can all understand what we say today and that it all makes sense. We will do our best to speak and enunciate. I absolutely love the Scottish accent, but I know sometimes people really struggle with it. Do you find that so hard? Yes, they love the accent, but they just don't know what I'm saying half the time, so I do need to speak a lot slower.

:: 01:49

Um, but hopefully we'll get through this podcast, um, and everyone will understand what we're saying. And, and if we have to sort of make notes in the show notes to say, and that's what we meant to it, we'll do that, so don't worry, we'll make sure that you're, you're in the loop of what we're talking about.

:: 02:04

But yes, I just really to kick off today's podcast, just really wanted to ask you just to give us a brief introduction of you, who you are, and all the good stuff that we need to know about you. Yep, sure. So, like I've been saying, my name's Zahra. I am a mum to two beautiful girls, Maya and Ayla, who are 8 and 4.

:: 02:24

They definitely keep me busy. I'm also a wife to Usman, who is... and also a pharmacist. That is my background. I've been a pharmacist for 11 years and been in the pharmacy industry for over 15 years. And I did the whole corporate grind 9 5 for You know, most of that in periods of being qualified as a pharmacist.

:: 02:48

But in the last couple of years, I've very, very much realized that that's not what I wanted to do and be stuck on a hamster wheel and, you know, working for someone else. So I kind of branched out and I've left the corporate world and now I run my own consultancy pharmacy consultancy business. I also have.

:: 03:06

I've got my health and wellness business with Arbonne. I've had that for eight years and I absolutely love helping people get really healthy and, you know, just being the best version of themselves. And we're also just a few weeks away from launching my third business, which I am. So excited about is the biggest, the scariest thing that I've ever done.

:: 03:27

But I'm freaking excited more than anything. And other than, you know, other than that, and that is an online pharmacy. So, um, the last couple of years being a, being in the consultancy world, um, I very quickly, um, you know, went into a niche, which is online pharmacy and, um, I was helping everyone else. start their online pharmacy or improve their online pharmacy.

:: 03:51

And me and my husband, we've got a running joke that every client that I had, every client I went to go and see, they either offered me a job or a partnership in their business. So it was a running joke, like, you know, and it got to that point where I thought, God, if everyone else wants me to be part of their business or, you know, offer me a job in this industry, I must be half decent at what I'm doing here.

:: 04:10

Why am I not doing this myself? So that's, that's where at the beginning of this year, I really kind of just put my head down and thought, right, I'm just doing it. And, um, yes, we're only like three weeks away from launch, which I'm super excited about, because you're going to come up for the launch as well.

:: 04:24

So a lot of exciting things, um, going on. So yeah, that's a little bit about me and what I do. Gosh, that is a lot. And I just, I just love it. I've been on this journey with you over the past year. As you say, we both have wellness businesses with Arbonne. So we've known each other for many years and I've just seen that growth and that evolution in you and just how you've blossomed and absolutely like.

:: 04:47

Everybody wanting to work with you for your expertise, and I'm just, oh, I'm so thrilled and like proud of you for actually just putting that stake in the ground and just going for it, backing yourself. I know it's been a scary journey. I know there's been so many obstacles and ups and downs and things to overcome, but I cannot wait to be up in Glasgow at the end of November 2023, if you're listening in the future, just to celebrate you and all your success and your courage and bravery for stepping out, which is amazing.

:: 05:16

But. With all that said, and all the things that you do, and again, like, just to add as a little side note, I've always felt a special affinity to Seha because when she talks about being a pharmacist and having that background in pharmacy, well, in my family, like, that's a huge part of our family story as well.

:: 05:32

My whole family's in the medical world, except for me, I went the, you know, more, I suppose, like, mental health route and into psychology. I didn't do the sort of the science and maths route. But my amazing late stepfather was a pharmacist. My uncle's a step, um, is a pharmacist. My stepsister's a pharmacist.

:: 05:51

She's actually a really big cheese in the, in the pharmacological world and pharmaceutical world. You know, my mom is, you know, worked for a massive pharmaceutical company, as have you know, so many of my like members of family. So I just feel like I get and understand your world, and I just feel. I feel like my stepdad would just be looking down right now going, Oh my goodness, this is, did I ever think I'd see the day where you'd have like an online pharmacy where people could literally go on an app, go on the website, order their medication, you know, pick that up.

:: 06:22

And when we know, you know, in this country right now, it's so difficult for people to access medicines. It's so many difficulties in the pharmacy space and you are really creating an incredible solution to that product, especially for us busy moms who just need to get the stuff. Yeah. So yeah, it's just incredible to see your journey with that.

:: 06:41

So I just, I had to add that in this little side note cause I just, I think it's amazing. And also you're breaking such huge ground with your new online pharmacy. It's going to be the first B corporation certified online pharmacy. You're also being a woman, an Asian woman as well. Like. This is, this is all groundbreaking stuff.

:: 06:59

Is it, I suppose it hasn't really sunk in for you yet. I don't think it has. And I think obviously I've had the advantage of being working in the industry for two years and I can see what, what is being done. And obviously when I decided that I wanted. start this. I don't want to just start another online pharmacy because you know, they all do the kind of similar core services and that's great.

:: 07:21

But actually the industry is also getting a bit of a bad name just now. And for me, my mission was I need to change that narrative because actually online pharmacy can be an incredible thing for, you know, the ideal customers such as a busy mum and you know, people that are working, people that just can't get access to healthcare services at time that suits them.

:: 07:41

Um, so I wanted to create it. An all inclusive with a business model that actually was a little bit different to what's already happening out there. And number one is obviously the B Corp, which is exciting. We will be the first B Corp pharmacy in the UK. Now for me, that's phenomenal to be able to do that.

:: 07:59

Can we just explain to people very quickly what a B Corp is and why they're so significant? So B Corp certification for a company just means that they are, you know, they're held to much higher standards across. Their profit, how they treat their people, and how they look after the planet. And essentially it just means that that company has much higher standards of how they operate and you know, the good that they do on with the planet.

:: 08:24

And you, you have to go through such a process, haven't you? For this. It's, it's no. It's no small thing. Yeah, I mean, I've just started the process now and all, honestly, I'm just like, oh my god, this is so long, but I know it'll be 100 percent worth it. And the reason why I decided that if I'm launching an online pharmacy for it to have BLB Corp certified one, it's because changing shopping habits are changing.

:: 08:49

with consumers, like people are becoming aware of the money that they're spending against certain brands. And, you know, are they sustainable? Are they doing the right thing for the planet? Are they looking after their people that is becoming, you know, quite a big deciding factor when you're choosing where to shop and that's only going to increase.

:: 09:08

So obviously starting a business, it's, you know, I'm, I'm playing the long run in the, in the sense that, you know, I don't want to then be starting a business that works and operates a certain way to then have to change it in the coming years because now that is the standard, you know, that's normal for everyone.

:: 09:26

So it's about getting ahead of the curve. So for me, that was a big thing of introducing that as part of the new business, but also, um. Having multiple clinics and services that are available with specialists in the industry, so such as mental health, there's going to be a huge mental health clinic with specialist pharmacists because there's a big gap around that.

:: 09:47

And I'm very passionate about, you know, really looking after the people with, with these issues because they are very real and, um, and also on the back of the pandemic, these are the kind of cohort of patients that are, you know. for kind of almost revolting about because, you know, they may not have something, you know, as obvious or physical or as serious as, you know, a heart condition or diabetes, they're almost at the bottom of the list to be reviewed and checked in on.

:: 10:13

So for me, there's definitely a gap there to really help. Please people and and and part of like our mission with the online pharmacy is to really empower people to look after their health. Yes, we are a pharmacy and yes, we can, you know, you can have access to medication. However, we're also going to encourage you and educate you to look after the root cause.

:: 10:34

of that condition. And for me, that's what's different, um, to what's already happening out there. And it's really about, you know, curing the root cause of illness and educating people and empowering people to actually capture themselves rather than here's medication and it's almost like putting a plaster over it, a band aid over it.

:: 10:52

So yeah, so lots of the It's exciting things, a lot of partnerships with other clinicians and we have a multidisciplinary team. We've got a GP on board. So it's very, very exciting. Um, it's a massive, massive project, um, but honestly, I'm just, I'm absolutely buzzing because I know so many things are going to happen on the back of this and you, and absolutely I'll, you know, watch this space because the industry is going to change and you'll see my face on it.

:: 11:18

Amazing. I, I'm just, you know, that is absolute music to my ears as a health coach because we know the situation here specifically in the UK where, you know, people go and see their doctor. They've got their seven, eight minutes slot, whatever it is now. And unfortunately, doctors don't have the opportunity to get to the root causes.

:: 11:37

But something I will always say to people, and I suppose that's because of my family background and history is go and see your pharmacist. Actually, they are such a source of help, support and information. So again, you know, the fact that you are addressing things like root, you know, causes of things, and I know we're going to talk about a certain topic in a minute that we are both very passionate about, but it's just, it's, you know, it's the key really.

:: 11:58

And as you say, it's the empowerment piece, you know, helping educating people, not just, Oh, here's some medicine off you go. Let's look at actually how we can help people and really for them to take ownership of their health. And that's. That's something that's such a passion for both you and me is actually equipping people to take ownership of their health and well being for the long term.

:: 12:17

So yes, very exciting. And I feel like I should be like getting your autograph now before you get too famous with everything that you're going to be creating. But with all that you have on your plate, a very, very packed work schedule, wife, mom, and I know that you are just an absolutely doting wife and mom.

:: 12:35

You're so hands on and present with your family. Tell me, what are your top three tips for thriving in your busy life? I don't know if I've got three, I probably have a lot more, but let's, let's start. So I think number one is looking after my own health and well being and a massive thing that you need to do when you move to, you know, one thing if you're going to do in terms of looking after your own health and well being is look after your gut health because that filters into so many other areas of your well being.

:: 13:08

So, uh, number one tip would be look after your gut health. And I do that through a simple, um, supplement that I take, it's one drink, um, with, you know, lots of fruit and veg, phytonutrients, antioxidants, prebiotics, probiotics. If you're watching on the screen, I'm drinking it right now. You know, absolutely. Um, so that is one thing, and that is a habit that I've had for several years.

:: 13:31

And I know for a fact when, if I don't take that every single day, and I've missed a few days, it really does affect my well being. So. You know, my energy is not the best, my moods can fluctuate, you know, I'm exhausted, I've got brain fog, you know, I might have some skin breakouts, and you know, my bloating starts appearing.

:: 13:49

So actually, um, when, if you have a really busy lifestyle, if you've got a lot going on, you have to look after yourself first and foremost, because then you won't be able to perform at your best. So, you know, that for me is one of the biggest things, looking after my health and wellness through the right decision, through gut health and in getting enough rest.

:: 14:11

So the second thing would be leaning in and asking for support. You know, I'm only one person, but I wear multiple hats. You know, my wife, my mom, my daughter, my multi business owner, you know, so many people rely on me. They need things from me and you know, I have to do so much. So, and actually I can't do everything but do it well.

:: 14:31

So actually what I've learned over the last year or so as I've been built in this new business is that actually I need to outsource and I need to ask for support. So if I can do things like outsource, like cleaning, I'm doing it. I'm going to clean it in. If I can outsource on like, you know, meal prep. I can do it.

:: 14:48

You know, if I need to lean on my husband and ask for support with the kids, like, I will do that because ultimately what I've realized is that, you know, it's a short term sacrifice, but for the long term gain. So absolutely asking for support allows you to thrive and just not end up in a place where you're burnt out and before it's too late to ask for that help.

:: 15:08

So that's really important. I think that is such an important point. I feel like we need exclamation marks, you know. Neon signs, I think. Underline, highlight, all of the above because that is something that I've seen you do and I know it's not easy for you. It's not very easy for a lot of women to delegate and we, we cannot.

:: 15:32

There's no possible way to do all the things, be, you know, thriving in the boardroom, thriving in, you know, motherhood, all the things. We absolutely have to lean on and ask for support. So, by doing that, I've seen your businesses thrive and also your relationships with your family and your kids thrive as a result of you doing that.

:: 15:51

So I just want to give you a massive high five, double high five for doing that and just knowing what you need to support you in your life in your life. Yeah. Thank you. That's amazing. Take back as well. Um, and the third thing I think for me, and this is something that I really focus on this year is.

:: 16:09

Really taking time out for myself and self care and recharging my batteries, because when your business is, you know, when your business and your motherhood and everything, all the different elements of your life are just so full on, um, you do need to take time away from it all. And not just, you know, so, you know, without the kids, without the husband, without all other distractions, well, just you.

:: 16:31

And one of the things that I do is that, like, I will make sure that I have a massage booked in once a month, or a spa day booked in once a month, or something for me to, you know, whether it's a few hours, whether it's, Half a day or a whole day, something for me that really just allows me to recharge my batteries, because again, if you're continuing to really run on empty, you're not going to do things to the best of your ability.

:: 16:55

So for me, you know, and I think as women, we feel guilty when we, you know, ask for time for ourselves or take that time out. And now I've got to a point where I've actually know this is a necessity, I have to do this. Yeah, I don't feel guilty anymore because I am. Because I realized that actually this is a necessity to allow me to then be a better mum, to be a better businesswoman and serve my clients.

:: 17:19

Like, I have to be on my best form. And um, you know, so it's like doing that self care without the guilt. So I would say that's definitely the three things that have really kind of grounded me over the last few months when it has been very, very tough. I'm not gonna lie, it's not been easy. You know, I'm working full time in my consultancy role.

:: 17:36

I've got two young kids who are quite demanding and need attention. You know, I've got a house to run. And being Asian as well, we have a lot of family commitments, whether it's weddings or birthdays or events, there's always something on. And, and also, I'm, I'm probably the one in the family that has everybody over to the house and I took the dinner and all of that and just, you know, get everyone together.

:: 17:57

So I love doing all of that. And, you know, if anyone knows me, they know I probably don't do anything by the half. It's, it's, everything is full on when I do it. You want to get invited to stay house for dinner. Honestly, it's like the best. Best pecoras you will ever eat. The best curry. Oh my goodness. I can't wait to come and see you at the end of this month, um, if you don't have enough on your plate, but yes, I think.

:: 18:20

And I also noticed that you've been getting into reform of pilates, so that's something that you've started looking after your well being. And I know you were working with a PT as well. So I know that you're always trying. And tweaking your self care protocol as such, just to really hone that. I mean, I've always had a bit of a love hate relationship with exercise.

:: 18:41

Like, you know, I think most women do in fairness. And, and I think that's been a big part of just like my growth journey. And, and actually, you know, I've done the PT thing, which I absolutely loved. Um, I had a great PT. But then as my diary was getting really, really busy. You know, as we're getting closer to the launch of this business, like, it just wasn't working because the time that she could do it, I was in meetings or things like that.

:: 19:04

So I thought, but I don't want that to be an excuse that I don't want exercise at all. Because, you know, I know if I'm teaching other people about wellness and all of that. I need to understand that actually we should be exercising, not because we have to for weight loss or anything like that, but actually for your mental health, like endorphins, that rush of endorphins that you get, the energy that you get, it's just amazing.

:: 19:28

And so actually I I've tried Performers Platinum, I'm not going to lie, I was way out of my comfort zone when even going to that class alone, didn't know anybody, I was like, yeah, I'm the new kid on the block here, like, coming to this class. But my goodness, I've been consistently for the last two, three weeks, um, you know, two or three classes a week, and I have never done that for any other type of exercise.

:: 19:50

Um, and, and, you know, I've booked a block now, so I know I'll continue going now over the next few weeks, and it's amazing. It's amazing. I would definitely encourage, you know, if you're a busy mom or somebody that perhaps hasn't, you know, always had, or someone that's had that love hate relationship with you, to find something that you love.

:: 20:10

Because I used to watch people on social media, I'm like, oh my god, I love going to the gym and I love, like, you know, whatever class. And I'm like, how do you love that? Like, I'd never used Because I never felt that way until after the former Blatties and I'm like, oh my god, I love it. I was saying to my mum, I think I'm going to take you to this, I think you'll love it.

:: 20:28

I've literally told so many of my friends and I'm like, can't you wait to go? That is such, that is such a funny thing and I'm laughing because I am that annoying person who loves going to the gym, but I never used to be. But I think it's about finding the right gym and for me, I've found such a... Lovely small community gym, which is for me.

:: 20:47

It's more about the community. It's about the women, the laughs. I mean, we just, we spend most of the time, you know, joking around and obviously we're working out, but it's just that community. And I think that's so important because when you do work for yourself and you can feel a little bit isolated, like for me, I look forward to going, you know, doing that session, you know, whatever it is.

:: 21:07

Um, yeah. And it's funny because people often ask me if I work for the gym because I'm always posting about the gym and stuff. I actually, I actually have to say, I have to say, because my husband's teasing me, I actually just got awarded member of the month. So I get a shake, I get a shake a cup. I'm so excited, but no, it, for me, and it was just so lovely what they said.

:: 21:27

They were like, you know, Wendy's always encouraging her other, you know, gym members and things like that. And that's just me. That's just my natural personality. So just find. What suits you and your vibe and your personality and your values and that will help you stay consistent. So I absolutely love those three tips.

:: 21:44

Those were absolutely brilliant. Thank you so much for sharing those with us. Now I'm going to ask you quite a deep and meaningful question in a minute, but before I do that, we're just going to hear a quick word from our sponsors. Do you feel overwhelmed or just a bit stuck with how to market your online business?

:: 22:01

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:: 22:16

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:: 22:32

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:: 22:50

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:: 23:07

So welcome back to part two of this episode three of the Thriving Woman Project podcast. So Sahar, you are very honest and very authentic, and this is why I know I can ask you this question and you'll be completely honest, but obviously we've been talking about top tips for thriving and you've been sharing all the good stuff in your life, but you know, can you tell us perhaps about a time in your life where you have struggled and Perhaps some of your tips and hacks for how you overcame this or how you might still be overcoming this.

:: 23:42

Um, so there's been definitely lots of challenges in my life, like growing up, like, you know, um, but I think one of the things that really stand out for me that's been the hardest things for me going, going through it, and then still the hardest thing, I don't think I've, Got through it ever. And that would be the loss of my brother.

:: 24:01

Back in, in the beginning of Covid when we just went into lockdown, he was only 28 years old and it was very sudden. And I think for me that has been the hardest thing because that's something that nobody should ever, ever have to go through it. No parents should have to buddy their child and no sibling should have to lose their brother, you know, or their.

:: 24:22

or their sibling like a sister. Um, and for me that was really, really difficult. And you're, you're asking me how some of my tips of how I've got through it. I'll be honest with you, I don't think I have ever got through it, even though it's coming up for four years in April next year. I don't think I have ever got over it or got through it.

:: 24:42

And I don't think you ever do when it comes to grief and you'll know that as well, like losing your dad but you always, you always kind of learn to kind of grow and You know, deal with all that kind of hurt and all those questions that are unanswered. But looking back at that time, like, you know, I actually don't think I actually grieved in that very, the first few weeks, because I stayed with my, with my parents.

:: 25:12

We all stayed together. And my focus very much at that time was just looking after my family, looking after my parents. Um, more than anything else, or like, you know, actually looking or dealing with the grief that I was feeling or what I was feeling, I almost just pushed all my feelings to one side and just kind of became focused on making sure that my own dad was okay, my younger siblings were okay.

:: 25:35

Um, you know, Ayla, my youngest, was, you know, not a nine year old, she was about, 19 months old at that time, so I'm still postpartum, like, you know, so there was a lot, a lot going on, and the fact that actually we were in lockdown, the first lockdown, and everyone knows how difficult that was, but we couldn't even see our family, like, you know, when, when you have a death in the family, especially in the Asian community, everyone kind of comes together, you know, they're going, There's a lot of venting at the house.

:: 26:03

There's a lot of, like, support that we, we never had any of that because of COVID. Um, so it was a very, very difficult time. Then, and, no, no, I remember, I remember there was a few things that did just keep giving me that strength, and, and one of them was having my Arbonne community, my Arbonne friends, my Arbonne family, which, you know, includes you, and I remember you guys sent me this Most beautiful hamper and, you know, it just made so much sense to me because most people like would send flubbers or, you know, things like that.

:: 26:37

And you guys put together the most beautiful hamper filled with dates and lots of like, kind of like Snacks and things like that and a beautiful card that basically just said, you know, um, because when my brother passed away in the day of his funeral that we had, it was Ramadan had started like a day or so before.

:: 26:56

So we were in the month of Ramadan. And, and, and the note that you guys had sent with the hand prayer was, you know, We want you to have this stuff, like, and just sit together as a family and talk about your brother and eat these snacks and, you know, and just enjoy those memories. And for me that meant so, so much, like, and that was also a point in my life where I realized the power of having that Arbonne business because I, from the moment our brother passed away when I got that phone call, I didn't do anything in my business for about six, seven months.

:: 27:30

But every single month I got a paycheck because of the work I'd already done. So for me that was the first moment that I actually truly understood. The power of having an online health and wellness business with Arbonne because my, I was, I was just due to, I had just gone back to work after maternity leave and although I was only going back two days a month because I could afford to because of my Arbonne business at that time, like I had to then have conversations and difficult conversations with my employer to say, I'm not ready to come back to work.

:: 28:01

Um, but what point were they going to keep paying me? You know, they, they don't, they, they stop your, you know, your, when you, you know, you have a certain, um, timeline of how much, you know, sick pay you have. But with my own business, I got paid every single month. My team, they handled all my clients, my team supported them, and I just got to be with my family.

:: 28:25

So for me, that, that was something. So yeah, yeah. If you've ever wondered, you know, on a side note, if you've ever wondered, you know, what are the benefits of having, building something like this, the peer to peer impact, that's what I would say, that is a massive benefit, or having the support of a community when you really, really need it.

:: 28:43

So that was one of the things. And then the, the other thing that, you know, I had to do is have therapy because I just couldn't comprehend like what was happening and why it happens, but also what I couldn't really understand was how I handle, like, my parents Because, obviously, they were grieving, and I'm trying to comfort them, and I'm trying to be there for them as, you know, the eldest.

:: 29:07

I'm trying to be there for my sister, and, and sometimes, like, you know, I felt like we were, we were progressing, we were, you know, I was I was making an impact and I was helping them, but other times I felt I was taking 10 steps back. Like I just didn't know how to, you know, I was approaching with caution like sometimes because my mum was in her grief, you know, or I just didn't know how to speak to my dad.

:: 29:29

And, you know, but at the same time, I didn't want to not do anything because. I knew they needed support, but I just didn't know how, so therapy massively helped me understand like, you know, how, you know, how I behaved and actually some of the actions of other people and, and all of that. And that was the first time that I've had therapy like that.

:: 29:47

And I would highly, highly recommend, um, you know, having that if you've gone through something, doesn't matter if it was years ago. But if there's things that you haven't dealt with, I would say absolutely, there is definitely a place for that. Um, and to, you know, go and speak to somebody, speak to a professional.

:: 30:04

And I did then have therapy after when it came up round about his one year anniversary, because I found it a really difficult time. I just couldn't. still at that point comprehend, like, how's it been a year now? It's like, because we were still in lockdown. We were in COVID and it was the peak of the pandemic.

:: 30:20

So it really blew my mind when I would see people like a year on, a year and a half on for the first time. And then they would say to me, they would send me their condolences and say, I'm sorry to hear about your brother. And it would totally catch me off guard because I totally forgot. I haven't seen people face to face.

:: 30:38

Like, you know, so I mean, so yeah, so I think there, you know, that was definitely the hardest time. And then the third thing that I think that's probably helped me is just having, like, staying strong to my faith. I think over the last few years, you know, just really kind of getting closer to God and stuff and really, you know, praying and all of that stuff and really understanding that this life is very temporary.

:: 30:59

It's not forever. And, you know, God is the best of planners and, you know, there would have been, or things didn't. Why this happened. And I always just think, you know, whenever you go through hard roads in life. I always ask myself, what, what is God trying to teach me here? There's a lesson in this too, you know, every hardship I always think is a test for us.

:: 31:17

It's either God's way of teaching us something or for him to give us an opportunity to become closer to him. And, you know, you'll, you'll understand that with your faith, it's very, very similar. So I think having that faith, um, you know, really, really has helped me with the grief. And now don't get me wrong.

:: 31:35

There are some days where I feel like it's so raw. And then there's some days where I'm at peace with it. But that is the world peace journey. You're up and down. It's like a rollercoaster and you know, it and I and amongst all of all of the hard times that we've had since you know like going through that death of my brother and stuff like em I just hold on to the really special memories and moments and and actually it's so funny how God works and you know serious ways like Maya was only about, um, four or five, so she, I think she was five at the time, and yeah, she would have been five, and obviously Isla was only like ten months old, so she doesn't remember him.

:: 32:18

Now, there's so many moments where I catch the two girls, my two girls chatting and Maya's telling her about her uncle. And, um, you know, it's just the sweetest thing ever. She's, like, keeping them alive. And actually, she told me just the other day that in school, they were talking, a part of the R. E., they were talking about, um, if they had ever lost somebody.

:: 32:38

Like, and she said, I've talked about my mamu more. And mamu just means uncle, and that's what she called him. And, and I, I was just so surprised that, you know, she remembers so much about him. And, and we chatted about it. And even just simple things, like sometimes, like, you know, The logic of a child. Like, you know, it's so simple, and as adults, I think we get so caught up in our emotions and make things really complicated.

:: 33:03

Like, you know, one time, um, so, when I was younger, around about the age where, um, my brother passed away, she was obsessed by watching my wedding photo. Obsessed. She would watch it on repeat. And when he passed away, she was, when we were staying at my mum's, and she had it on, and she was watching it, and I was there, my mum came in the room, and it was a point where my brother was on, on the screen, and he, it was, they had all recorded, like, special messages from me and this man, and he was on the screen, and, um, me and my mum got really emotional, and now my attorney and some employee just said, Anytime you miss them, just watch them on your movie.

:: 33:39

Like, you know, it's so simple, so logical. And, you know, so I think just being there, like having my kids, that was a massive thing because it was almost like, listen, you can't, like, yourself crumble like this. You've got two beautiful girls that are relying on you. So get up and just, you know, And then in saying that, my child said something to me the other day, which totally floored me.

:: 34:01

She said, Because she was crying about something and I said, it's okay to cry, sweetheart. Mommy cries too. And she goes, I never see you cry. And I was like, Oh my goodness. And I was kind of a mental note to myself to let her see more of my weakness because we're so determined to show up and be strong for everybody.

:: 34:19

But actually it's okay to show your vulnerability and your kids need to see that because they also need to see that process of grief. And I've been through very similar with losing my dad and my daughter. So sometimes she'll just. She'll call me upstairs at bedtime and she'll be in floods of tears and she's like, I really miss grandpa.

:: 34:37

And so we'll need to sit there and we'll pray and we'll talk to him and we'll talk about the invisible strings and all that kind of thing. And so, yeah, it is such a journey, as you say, some days you find other days it catches you off guard. Um, but it is all a process and I just want to thank you so much because I know that that was incredibly hard to share, but I also know that we both believe that by sharing the hard stuff, we can really empower and help others.

:: 35:03

So if you're in that situation right now and you feel like there's no way forward and you're really struggling with grief, then please know that I'll, you know, I'll post a link to resources in the show notes to help you. And yeah, just thank you so, so much for sharing that. I really appreciate that. I love the plug for therapy.

:: 35:20

I'm a big fan of therapy myself, and I definitely had some. Um, after my dad died and just definitely needed that to process, but yeah, just to kind of up the tempo as we come into land on today's episode. Cause I know that's quite heavy stuff, but I think it's really important to have the good. And the hard conversations and that's what I really want this Thriving Women Project podcast to be about.

:: 35:42

But tell me, is there something that people might not know about you? So if anyone goes and follows Sahar on social media, you'll see that she's like an amazing fashionista and her food is just incredible. Like I'm always salivating when I look at her social media with the food she cooks. But is there something that maybe even I don't know about you?

:: 36:04

that you might want to share, or a funny story, or something. I mean, I was thinking about this when you sent me through the questions, and I was a bit like, has it all come back? I genuinely am like, what you see is what you get. And, you know, if you're, you're in my fan circle, like, you will know what I'm like.

:: 36:22

But one of the things I think that most people probably wouldn't believe, Because they see me as this person that does so much, like the mum that's got it all, and you've got our shit together and all of that stuff. And actually, I won't believe when I tell you that I am the world's biggest procrastinator.

:: 36:38

Like, I just don't do stuff until the very last minute. And I think it's important to share that because it's so easy to watch people on social media and just... think that, oh god, they do it all, I don't know how they do it, they, you know, they've got the kids and she's working and she cooks like, you know, meals from scratch every single day.

:: 36:59

And actually, like, you know what, it's not always like that because social media is a highlight reel and, do you know what, I would say I am the biggest. Procrastinator is something that definitely needs to work on. But I remember having a conversation with you and you said, look, end of the day, if you're still getting yourself done, you just need to stop stressing for a whole week that you're procrastinating and just get it done on the day.

:: 37:20

Just know it's still going to get done. And then you take away all that stress of like stressing about it. That's the thing. I am so that person as well. And I, I just spent so many years beating myself up for the fact that, you know, like people would come in at uni and my friend, my friend, my friend, Karen, honestly, she come in and she'd be like, yeah, just finished my project for next month.

:: 37:39

I'm like. What? How? Like, how does that even, like, assimilate in your brain? I just don't get it. But now, I am that person. Like, I'm delivering a talk tomorrow, um, for a group of, like, 18 year olds on health and nutrition. I'm totally bricking it because, yeah, like, it's gonna be really interesting. I know, exactly.

:: 38:00

They're like eating McDonald's every day. I'm like, oh! But, but yeah, and I, and I put in my diary, even though I've known about this for about three months, I put in my diary for today to write my presentation because I just know that I'm not going to do it. Like, yes, I've got little notes that I've jotted down, but You know, and I've, I've put things in motion, like I asked my VA to like take one of my workbooks that I use for different talks and, you know, update it with certain things.

:: 38:24

And so I had that all done last week and I had some notes written, but then I could sit down today in hyper focus mode and just get that work done. So that's what I've said to you, you know, as a coach and we've worked together and I said like, don't worry about it. If you're that person who does things lastminute.

:: 38:39

com, actually schedule the fact that you are lastminute. com and because I know I work better under deadlines. So I just give myself deadlines and that's what I do. So whether you give me two weeks to do something or whether you give me one day, I'm just, I'm going to get it done the day before or like two hours before, whenever.

:: 38:54

So love that. I'm so glad that you shared that because that's an opportunity for us to really sort of lift the, lift the veil on what people perceive, you know, that these people that are thriving are just like, you know, all everything's super, super duper organized. But right now, just to finish today's amazing podcast, which has been so full of incredible value and tips.

:: 39:13

Thank you so much. How can listeners, you know, be in your Sehar world? Like how can they connect with you? What's the best way? So basically, I live on Instagram, like that's where you'll find me. So my handle is Sehar the Pharmacist, I'm sure Wendy will put it in the show notes. Let's try one there, but from that platform, then you can, um, you know, access so many things like subscribe to my newsletter, join my VIP health and wellness group.

:: 39:41

And basically you'll find my journey over the next few weeks of the online, the launch of the online farm. Yeah, definitely. I would love to connect and, um, yeah, just chat to anyone that you find that, you know, this was useful listening to this podcast, but yeah, that's where you'll find me on Instagram. I love it.

:: 39:59

I love a bit of the gram as well. So yes, so inspiring. I love Seha's weekly newsletter. She's also got an amazing gut health guide. So yeah, get connected in with her. She has got so much value to share with you. But yes, thank you so much for everything that you've shared with us today. You are such a blessing in this world.

:: 40:16

You shine your light bright, and I'm just so grateful to know you and have the opportunity for this community to hear from you today. And just so much for having me. Lots of love. Thank you for joining me for today's episode. If you've got value from this, please won't you take two seconds to take a screenshot and share APIC of this episode on your socials extra points.

:: 40:35

If you'd like to rate and review this podcast on your preferred platform so that we can share the love with more women wanting to thrive in their lives, do be sure to visit my website, wendy griffith.co uk to get all my free resources to support you on your thriving journey. Until next time, God bless.

:: 40:50

Take care of yourself. And keep thriving.

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