In this powerful solo episode, Kate explores one of the most universal human experiences: the moment life as you knew it… collapses. Whether you’re going through a breakup, a divorce, a career shift, a friendship ending, a big loss or simply waking up to a truth you can no longer ignore. 

Most humans are terrified about things falling apart. We’re conditioned to keep it together, pretend we’re fine, push harder, and numb out. But what if this big change is a massive catalyst or doorway into a deeper, more expanded, version of you and a more aligned life?

Listen to learn:

• Why life has to fall apart sometimes
• How to listen to the deeper invitation inside chaos
• The difference between collapse and surrender
• What’s really happening when old identities dissolve
• The most important anchors to support you through this portal of change

Kate shares personal stories, practices, and truths to remind you that you’re not failing—you’re evolving. Falling apart isn’t a sign that your life is over...it's a sign that you are being called forward into the next version of yourself. 

Starting Over Workshop November 7-9th (8-1030am pacific daily)

https://www.theunscriptdwoman.com/startingover

EXPAND (50% off Discount Code) 

About the Host:

Kate Harlow is the founder of The Unscriptd Woman, the creator of The Expanded Love Coaching Method, and host of The New Truth podcast - ranked in the top 1.5% globally. With over 15 years of experience teaching, coaching and facilitating transformational retreats worldwide, Kate has helped hundreds of thousands of women break free from outdated relational patterns, old patriarchal ways of thinking and unspoken rules to live by. 

Her infallible methods guide women to release the deeply ingrained scripts that keep them stuck- empowering women to step into their highest, most magnetic, and fully expressed selves. Through her coaching, retreats, podcast and upcoming book The Unscriptd Woman, Kate is redefining what it means to be an empowered woman in today's world, showing women how to stop waiting for permission and start creating a life and love that aligns with their deepest truth. 

Known for her rare ability to see exactly where women are out of alignment with themselves, Kate offers a path back to unwavering self- trust, meaningful joy and true fulfillment. Her work is a revolution - one that liberates women from societal expectations and invites them into a life of radical authenticity, thriving relationships and unshakable self-worth.  

Website:  https://www.theunscriptdwoman.com/

The Immersion in Corfu, Greece April 26- May 3, 2026 https://www.theunscriptdwoman.com/the-immersion

Thanks for listening! It means so much to us that you listened to our podcast! If you would like to continue the conversation with us, head on over to our Facebook group, the New Truth Movement at https://www.facebook.com/groups/209821843509179/

With this podcast, we are building an international community of The New Truth Movement.

If you know someone who would benefit from this message or could be an awesome addition to our community, please share it using the social media buttons on this page.

Do you have some feedback or questions about this episode?

Leave a note in the comment section below!

Follow the podcast

If you would like to get automatic updates of new podcast episodes, you can follow the podcast app on your mobile device.

Leave us a review

We appreciate every bit of feedback to make this a value-adding part of your day. Ratings and reviews from our listeners not only help us improve, but also help others find us in their podcast app. If you have a minute, an honest review on Apple Podcasts goes a long way! Thank You!

 

Podcast Artwork Photo Credit: Photo by Tarja Ruuska https://www.instagram.com/tarjaruuska.photography

Royalty Free Music: Bensound.com  Artist/: Benjamin Tissot License code: 2S4NM4X7FZVPZP1E

Kate Harlow: 00:00:00

And I believe the majority of our suffering

Kate Harlow: 00:00:03

doesn't come from the thing itself, but it comes from the

Kate Harlow: 00:00:06

dramatization of the thing. It comes from the stories we tell

Kate Harlow: 00:00:10

ourselves about the thing that happened. It comes from us

Kate Harlow: 00:00:14

taking the story and then telling 10 of our friends and

Kate Harlow: 00:00:18

then complaining about it and then and and then being arguing

Kate Harlow: 00:00:22

with it and then believing that it should be different than it

Kate Harlow: 00:00:26

is. This is the root of all suffering. Hello, my loves. Kate

Kate Harlow: 00:00:31

Harlow, here, welcome back to season three of the new truth

Kate Harlow: 00:00:36

podcast. If you are new here, there's hundreds of episodes for

Kate Harlow: 00:00:40

you to catch up on and if you've been here a while, I'm so happy

Kate Harlow: 00:00:44

you're here with me

Kate Harlow: 00:00:46

on this now. Sunny Day started out rainy in Nairobi. I am Oh my

Kate Harlow: 00:00:54

gosh. I just had the coolest experience I have to share. I

Kate Harlow: 00:00:57

was just about to hit record about an hour ago, and then I

Kate Harlow: 00:01:01

was like, I want to sing a song. So I sang a song, songbird by

Kate Harlow: 00:01:06

Eva Cassidy, if you know, it so beautiful. It's it was in the

Kate Harlow: 00:01:09

movie Love, actually. And I sang it and with my eyes closed in a

Kate Harlow: 00:01:15

meditation, but like with the microphone, I was sitting in my

Kate Harlow: 00:01:19

podcasting seat, and it was such a beautiful experience. And then

Kate Harlow: 00:01:24

another good song came on, and then another good song came on.

Kate Harlow: 00:01:26

So I ended up just singing for the last hour. My throats a bit

Kate Harlow: 00:01:31

sore. Guess that was the only downside, but I sang for the

Kate Harlow: 00:01:35

last hour, and with my eyes closed, with the microphone, it

Kate Harlow: 00:01:39

was, I mean, it's not like I didn't have it live. So it's not

Kate Harlow: 00:01:44

like the microphone amplified the sound, but just the feeling

Kate Harlow: 00:01:46

of having the microphone and singing with my eyes closed was

Kate Harlow: 00:01:49

really profound. I don't know, maybe I had my first like

Kate Harlow: 00:01:52

Whitney Houston moment. Hey, Whitney Houston. I didn't sing

Kate Harlow: 00:01:56

any Whitney Houston songs, but my favorite song of all time, I

Kate Harlow: 00:02:00

have to share. You might not know it, especially if you are a

Kate Harlow: 00:02:03

Gen Z or even a millennial, unless your parents listen to

Kate Harlow: 00:02:07

70s music. It's a song from the 70s by John Denver. It's called

Kate Harlow: 00:02:12

Annie's song, and it's, I'm I was singing it with my it came

Kate Harlow: 00:02:16

on, and I get so excited when it comes on. There's something

Kate Harlow: 00:02:19

about the it actually was in the soundtrack for the movie My Best

Kate Harlow: 00:02:22

Friend's Wedding. And whenever I hear this song, I get so

Kate Harlow: 00:02:26

excited. And it starts out saying, you, yeah, I'm not going

Kate Harlow: 00:02:30

to sing, but it starts out saying, you fill up my senses

Kate Harlow: 00:02:33

like a night in the forest, like the mountains in springtime,

Kate Harlow: 00:02:36

like a walk in the rain. And of course, it's about love, like

Kate Harlow: 00:02:40

every other song, but I often have the experience of this is

Kate Harlow: 00:02:44

actually perfect for this episode. I have the experience

Kate Harlow: 00:02:47

now when I hear love songs, I really hear them for myself. I

Kate Harlow: 00:02:50

don't I no longer think of somebody else. It's like for me,

Kate Harlow: 00:02:54

about me and I just I'm so connected to my senses. So I I

Kate Harlow: 00:03:00

think that's why I've always loved that song, because I can

Kate Harlow: 00:03:03

feel the frequency of it. Talks about nature and smelling and

Kate Harlow: 00:03:09

and experiencing and feeling. And I'm such a sensory, sensual

Kate Harlow: 00:03:13

person, so and I also have a lot of Taurus in my astrology. So

Kate Harlow: 00:03:18

anyways, go listen to it if you don't know the song, Annie.

Kate Harlow: 00:03:21

Annie's song, yeah, it just makes me so happy. So I'm still

Kate Harlow: 00:03:27

in Nairobi, living my best life over here, I'm going to share

Kate Harlow: 00:03:30

with you my initiations that have happened twice in the last

Kate Harlow: 00:03:34

two weeks, because, of course, just so you have the contrasting

Kate Harlow: 00:03:38

experience that it's not always roses and sunshine. When we

Kate Harlow: 00:03:42

follow our hearts and follow our truths, we still have to

Kate Harlow: 00:03:44

experience hard things. I had the stomach flu. It was a

Kate Harlow: 00:03:49

bacterial infection twice in the last two weeks, like really bad,

Kate Harlow: 00:03:54

which apparently is really a nature's way of initiating you

Kate Harlow: 00:03:58

into a new place, your body's way of adjusting to new

Kate Harlow: 00:04:03

bacterias to new environments. And so I'm not surprised. I

Kate Harlow: 00:04:09

mean, I definitely was surprised. The second time it

Kate Harlow: 00:04:11

happened, I was like, seriously, I just had this 10 days ago. So

Kate Harlow: 00:04:15

it was this week, Monday and Tuesday, I was out for the

Kate Harlow: 00:04:18

count, super sick. And you know, day one, I was in the just, oh

Kate Harlow: 00:04:24

my god. Like, why is this happening? And like, I want to

Kate Harlow: 00:04:27

die just, you know, moments of just letting myself really feel

Kate Harlow: 00:04:30

how I was feeling and express that part, but also

Kate Harlow: 00:04:35

simultaneously knowing, okay, everything I experience is

Kate Harlow: 00:04:39

always for something, nothing that happens unexpectedly,

Kate Harlow: 00:04:43

doesn't serve a purpose. It's all a part of something, right?

Kate Harlow: 00:04:47

When you think of nature, it's like there's no creature,

Kate Harlow: 00:04:49

there's no insect, there's nothing on planet earth that

Kate Harlow: 00:04:53

isn't a part of this ecosystem. We might think like damn

Kate Harlow: 00:04:56

mosquitoes kill them, or like bees are better, not. Bees, but

Kate Harlow: 00:05:00

wasps are bad, or, you know, spiders are scary, but they all

Kate Harlow: 00:05:05

serve a purpose in the ecosystem. Just like every organ

Kate Harlow: 00:05:08

in the human body serves a purpose. Everything, it's a part

Kate Harlow: 00:05:12

of a system. Everything serves a purpose. So when I got sick,

Kate Harlow: 00:05:16

even though I had that, you know, few moments of just

Kate Harlow: 00:05:19

feeling like, Oh, why is this happening again? And no, I don't

Kate Harlow: 00:05:22

want it to happen and I want to die. I feel so bad. I also knew,

Kate Harlow: 00:05:27

simultaneously, always holding the higher perspective of, okay,

Kate Harlow: 00:05:31

this is for something. There's a reason I'm getting sick twice.

Kate Harlow: 00:05:34

And it was really fascinating because day three and I did go

Kate Harlow: 00:05:38

on antibiotics. I'm not a huge fan of antibiotics unless

Kate Harlow: 00:05:42

they're really, really needed. But I just was like, Okay, I

Kate Harlow: 00:05:46

just want to get this bacteria out of my body, and so I'm on

Kate Harlow: 00:05:50

antibiotics and with my probiotics waiting in the wing

Kate Harlow: 00:05:54

when I'm finished my antibiotics. But I I had such an

Kate Harlow: 00:05:59

interesting experience the third day, when I was not I was still

Kate Harlow: 00:06:05

a little bit sick, but not super sick. I was kind of groggy and

Kate Harlow: 00:06:09

tired still, and still had, you know, some symptoms. I had so

Kate Harlow: 00:06:14

much creativity come through like I had not experienced that

Kate Harlow: 00:06:19

since I've been here, I've kind of just been settling in getting

Kate Harlow: 00:06:22

things organized, and, you know, I haven't really felt creative.

Kate Harlow: 00:06:27

I haven't really felt connected to any part of my work. And all

Kate Harlow: 00:06:31

of a sudden, so much creativity came through, so much

Kate Harlow: 00:06:35

inspiration came through, so much magic came through. I

Kate Harlow: 00:06:37

started having ideas of new projects that are super

Kate Harlow: 00:06:41

inspiring and exciting. One of them affects the podcast in a

Kate Harlow: 00:06:46

good way. And I have, I mean, obviously everything in a good

Kate Harlow: 00:06:49

way, but I just had all these amazing ideas come through, and

Kate Harlow: 00:06:53

this new program come through that I'll tell you about at the

Kate Harlow: 00:06:56

end of today, but it is, I'll just tell you right now. It's

Kate Harlow: 00:06:58

called starting over, and it's a course that I've that I've

Kate Harlow: 00:07:02

created, that I'm doing live with an intimate group of women,

Kate Harlow: 00:07:06

or September, November. I don't know what. It's hard to know

Kate Harlow: 00:07:09

what day it is, because time is going by so fast, November, 7 to

Kate Harlow: 00:07:12

ninth. So it's a Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and it's gonna

Kate Harlow: 00:07:15

be two and a half hours each morning. And if you, if you sign

Kate Harlow: 00:07:19

up for it now, it's called starting over. So it's for

Kate Harlow: 00:07:21

anyone going through massive change, like heartbreak,

Kate Harlow: 00:07:23

breakup, divorce, move to another country. Just move,

Kate Harlow: 00:07:29

change jobs, whatever, start, quit your work and started a

Kate Harlow: 00:07:32

business. Any, anyone going through massive change, it's

Kate Harlow: 00:07:35

called starting over. So that program came through, and it's

Kate Harlow: 00:07:38

$97 but you get to come for 50% off if you sign up before

Kate Harlow: 00:07:43

November 5. So, and I'll just tell you right now the discount

Kate Harlow: 00:07:47

code is expand, E, x, P, A, n, d, all capital letters, expand,

Kate Harlow: 00:07:53

and I'll link it below the episode. So, but, and I'll

Kate Harlow: 00:07:57

mention it more clearly at the end, but I'm just seeding it

Kate Harlow: 00:08:00

now, because that was one of the things that came through. I had

Kate Harlow: 00:08:03

decided in August I was doing a program called starting over in

Kate Harlow: 00:08:06

the fall. I was really, really clear that it was coming, that I

Kate Harlow: 00:08:10

was going to do it, but I hadn't had anything come through. And

Kate Harlow: 00:08:12

then it all started coming through. And then I had just so

Kate Harlow: 00:08:15

much inspiration. And then I was sitting in my bliss chair. I

Kate Harlow: 00:08:19

have this new hanging chair that sits in my front yard, and it's

Kate Harlow: 00:08:23

one of those egg chairs that hangs on a its own stand, Eve,

Kate Harlow: 00:08:27

if you're listening, best thing ever. Eve's one of the heroin

Kate Harlow: 00:08:31

sisters, and she starts. She got a couple hanging chairs, and it

Kate Harlow: 00:08:34

changed her life. And when I was in at Ola pangi farm, I sat in

Kate Harlow: 00:08:38

this one hanging chair and wrote like half of the book in it, and

Kate Harlow: 00:08:41

I spent so much time in this hanging chair that hung from a

Kate Harlow: 00:08:44

huge, beautiful fig tree. So there's something about hanging

Kate Harlow: 00:08:48

chairs that just relaxes you so much. It's like being in the

Kate Harlow: 00:08:51

womb. So anyways, I was sitting in my my hanging chair, but we

Kate Harlow: 00:08:55

call it the bliss chair. My friend Amber has one too, the

Kate Harlow: 00:08:59

bliss chair, and I just dawned on me, wait, all this creativity

Kate Harlow: 00:09:04

is flowing through. I hadn't been feeling creative. I'd been

Kate Harlow: 00:09:07

meditating. I've been singing and writing and dancing and

Kate Harlow: 00:09:09

doing all my usual practices and connecting and meeting people

Kate Harlow: 00:09:13

and just being in this beautiful energy being here. But hadn't

Kate Harlow: 00:09:17

been feeling creative, and I was like, Oh, my body needed to

Kate Harlow: 00:09:22

purge two times, you know, for two days at a time, and needed

Kate Harlow: 00:09:28

to let go of energy and move old stagnant energy that was

Kate Harlow: 00:09:31

blocking the energy flow so that this new creative flow could

Kate Harlow: 00:09:37

come through. So just when you think whatever's happening in

Kate Harlow: 00:09:41

your life right now, like it feeling like it's falling apart

Kate Harlow: 00:09:44

just when you think it's not meant for you. It shouldn't be

Kate Harlow: 00:09:48

this way that you should be still married. You should be

Kate Harlow: 00:09:52

still in that job that you just lost. You should be your

Kate Harlow: 00:09:56

whatever your circumstances are.

Kate Harlow: 00:10:01

So you, if you believe it should be different, that is the root

Kate Harlow: 00:10:05

of your suffering. For one, we'll, we'll dig into that. But

Kate Harlow: 00:10:10

there is a reason for everything. Just like in the

Kate Harlow: 00:10:14

ecosystem of nature, there is a reason for everything we

Kate Harlow: 00:10:19

experience. There's no thing, no event, no person leaving, no

Kate Harlow: 00:10:27

loss, no rupture, no tragedy, no trauma, no no experience that

Kate Harlow: 00:10:33

you have in your life that isn't meant to happen because it

Kate Harlow: 00:10:38

happened. That's how I know this is true because it happened.

Kate Harlow: 00:10:41

There's a saying. You've probably heard me say it before.

Kate Harlow: 00:10:44

It's not mine. I don't know who's saying it is, but when you

Kate Harlow: 00:10:46

argue with reality, you lose 100% of the time. And I believe

Kate Harlow: 00:10:52

the majority of our suffering doesn't come from the thing

Kate Harlow: 00:10:56

itself, but it comes from the dramatization of the thing. It

Kate Harlow: 00:11:01

comes from the stories we tell ourselves about the thing that

Kate Harlow: 00:11:04

happened. It comes from us taking the story and then

Kate Harlow: 00:11:08

telling 10 of our friends and then complaining about it and

Kate Harlow: 00:11:11

then and then being arguing with it, and then believing that it

Kate Harlow: 00:11:16

should be different than it is. This is the root of all

Kate Harlow: 00:11:20

suffering, I had the stomach flu, I had diarrhea, and I was

Kate Harlow: 00:11:24

vomiting over and over again, you know, twice in two weeks.

Kate Harlow: 00:11:30

And I also happened to me early September. So clearly, there's

Kate Harlow: 00:11:33

lots that needed to go, and I don't have parasites. I got

Kate Harlow: 00:11:37

tested for everything, but like these things happened. Yes,

Kate Harlow: 00:11:40

there was a physical component, but there's always a spiritual

Kate Harlow: 00:11:44

component and an emotional component. And the both the

Kate Harlow: 00:11:48

spiritual and the emotional component are shit needed to

Kate Harlow: 00:11:51

clear out, literally and figuratively, for new

Kate Harlow: 00:11:54

inspiration to come through, for me to land where I am, for me to

Kate Harlow: 00:11:59

really fully experience this new place that I'm in, here in

Kate Harlow: 00:12:04

Kenya. So the first thing that I want you to land and anchor into

Kate Harlow: 00:12:11

When Everything Feels like it's falling apart is actually

Kate Harlow: 00:12:15

falling together. It's not falling apart, it's falling

Kate Harlow: 00:12:19

together. Yes, external circumstances are out of our

Kate Harlow: 00:12:23

control. That is true. That will always be true only till the end

Kate Harlow: 00:12:27

of time. Your external circumstances are not in your

Kate Harlow: 00:12:31

control, although we've been sold a very different story.

Kate Harlow: 00:12:35

Just get the husband, just get the job with the corner office,

Kate Harlow: 00:12:38

just climb to the top of the ladder. Just get the house and

Kate Harlow: 00:12:43

own it, and then nothing can take it away. Damn. La fires

Kate Harlow: 00:12:47

come burn all those houses down, right? Just get, just get the

Kate Harlow: 00:12:50

the job that's secure instead of starting your own business. Oh,

Kate Harlow: 00:12:53

then covid happens. Everyone's jobs, like companies go to

Kate Harlow: 00:12:56

business. Everyone loses their jobs. All it's it's a lie, or

Kate Harlow: 00:13:00

just marry the love of life. How many people married the love of

Kate Harlow: 00:13:04

their life and then they changed? Or, or she changed, he

Kate Harlow: 00:13:08

changed, or she and she, he and he, whoever, whatever the deal

Kate Harlow: 00:13:11

is, someone changed, or life changed you, or what you went

Kate Harlow: 00:13:15

through changed you, or it just didn't work out as it did when

Kate Harlow: 00:13:20

you were younger, like life is completely like. The only thing

Kate Harlow: 00:13:26

I can guarantee you is knife is not going to go according to how

Kate Harlow: 00:13:29

you think it should. It's not going to go according to plan

Kate Harlow: 00:13:32

and how you think it should, and your plan isn't even your own.

Kate Harlow: 00:13:35

That's a sad thing. All these women just longing to get

Kate Harlow: 00:13:38

married, fighting to have find their husband, find that. Get

Kate Harlow: 00:13:42

the, get the all these these things in the script, and

Kate Harlow: 00:13:45

they're pining away and they're aching and they're beating

Kate Harlow: 00:13:47

themselves up because they don't have it. That's not even your

Kate Harlow: 00:13:49

desire. That is somebody else's story, a story that has been

Kate Harlow: 00:13:54

sold to you from so many different places that your brain

Kate Harlow: 00:13:59

has been programmed to believe is your story and your desire.

Kate Harlow: 00:14:05

So here you are at this really potent time. And you know

Kate Harlow: 00:14:12

everything I share on this episode is with such tenderness

Kate Harlow: 00:14:15

and love because loss, change, big transitions, divorce,

Kate Harlow: 00:14:21

breakup. I mean, these are can be really scary, really painful,

Kate Harlow: 00:14:28

really heartbreaking times, and so nothing I say is to negate

Kate Harlow: 00:14:34

your feelings. Everything is always an honor and reverence to

Kate Harlow: 00:14:37

your feelings. But what I'm highlighting here is the part of

Kate Harlow: 00:14:40

you that takes the story of what happened and and makes it this

Kate Harlow: 00:14:46

dramatic event that is so much more painful than it would have

Kate Harlow: 00:14:50

been before, because you think it should be different. So I

Kate Harlow: 00:14:54

think that's such an important place to start. Is, what are you

Kate Harlow: 00:14:58

believing about this situation? Yeah, and you might not be

Kate Harlow: 00:15:01

believing it should be different. You might just be in

Kate Harlow: 00:15:03

the pain, you know, I think about breakups that I've been

Kate Harlow: 00:15:07

through, where I was so clear that it was not for me anymore,

Kate Harlow: 00:15:12

but it didn't make it any easier. It was, like, still

Kate Harlow: 00:15:15

really freaking hard to let go of a person you deeply care

Kate Harlow: 00:15:18

about. So, you know, it doesn't mean you'll feel that way, but,

Kate Harlow: 00:15:23

but, but check yourself right now. Am I arguing with reality?

Kate Harlow: 00:15:28

Do I think should things should be different than they are?

Kate Harlow: 00:15:32

Because if things have fallen apart, if you have lost your

Kate Harlow: 00:15:36

job, if you have something has happened unexpectedly and side

Kate Harlow: 00:15:41

swiped. You just know. And I want to say, there's these

Kate Harlow: 00:15:45

sayings. So some people say, Oh, my God, these things are

Kate Harlow: 00:15:48

happening to me and that, I mean, that's a story that's

Kate Harlow: 00:15:50

going to keep you stuck in victim mentality, which means

Kate Harlow: 00:15:53

the world is against you. Some bad things are happening to you.

Kate Harlow: 00:15:57

My brother used to say this. He used to be like, I'm just

Kate Harlow: 00:15:59

unlucky. Just an unlucky guy. And I'm like, That's a great

Kate Harlow: 00:16:03

story. Like, how's that working for you? Because if you believe

Kate Harlow: 00:16:07

it to be true, it's going to be true, your brain will look for

Kate Harlow: 00:16:10

evidence it's going to be true. That's like, scientifically

Kate Harlow: 00:16:13

proven. If you believe something to be true, it's going to be

Kate Harlow: 00:16:15

true. So check yourself first. What am i Believing about this

Kate Harlow: 00:16:20

situation. Am I believing that this situation is happening to

Kate Harlow: 00:16:27

me? Like, oh my god, I can't believe this happened to me.

Kate Harlow: 00:16:30

What the hell I watched one of my best friends, who I love so

Kate Harlow: 00:16:36

dearly, lose her house in the LA fires. I'm gonna cry sharing

Kate Harlow: 00:16:41

this story, but she blew my fucking mind, because I talked

Kate Harlow: 00:16:45

to her a few days after it happened, and she was deeply

Kate Harlow: 00:16:51

connected to her grief and her sadness of the loss and all all

Kate Harlow: 00:16:57

the years she worked to make that happen as a single woman,

Kate Harlow: 00:17:01

to to to build her or to they shouldn't build it, but buy a

Kate Harlow: 00:17:07

new home, renovate a new home, create a beautiful space for her

Kate Harlow: 00:17:12

and her dogs. And she did it on her own as an independent woman,

Kate Harlow: 00:17:17

and she was so proud of it. She only had it for a couple of

Kate Harlow: 00:17:20

years, and she loved this home so much. It was so beautiful.

Kate Harlow: 00:17:25

And when the fires happened, she was one of the one of

Kate Harlow: 00:17:31

the people who tragically lost their home. Now she wasn't not

Kate Harlow: 00:17:35

feeling her grief. She was deeply feeling her grief, but

Kate Harlow: 00:17:39

simultaneously she was holding the perspective of, Oh, I was

Kate Harlow: 00:17:42

meant to go through this experience, and it will make so

Kate Harlow: 00:17:44

much more sense later, not in arguing with reality at all. And

Kate Harlow: 00:17:49

she was creating, like fundraisers. She was creating

Kate Harlow: 00:17:52

clothing drives for people who'd lost their houses, gathering

Kate Harlow: 00:17:55

clothes from people who didn't lose their houses. She was so

Kate Harlow: 00:17:58

active was like getting a house where a bunch of them could live

Kate Harlow: 00:18:02

like so beautiful to watch. I mean, a lot of people this

Kate Harlow: 00:18:05

happens in tragedy, where it creates like community more

Kate Harlow: 00:18:09

where people rise more people become more generous, more

Kate Harlow: 00:18:11

loving, more supportive and bond over this experience. So there's

Kate Harlow: 00:18:16

one of the gifts in it, right? Everything has tremendous gifts

Kate Harlow: 00:18:19

in it that we did not choose our souls. Did not choose to come to

Kate Harlow: 00:18:23

planet earth for an easeful ride like you would have chose. I

Kate Harlow: 00:18:27

don't know Lumeria is that a planet like something nicer. I

Kate Harlow: 00:18:31

don't know much about other planets, but you would have

Kate Harlow: 00:18:33

chosen another place if you wanted an easy ride, like we

Kate Harlow: 00:18:37

came to planet earth to evolve. We came to planet earth to

Kate Harlow: 00:18:40

change how things are done. Here we came to planet earth to to

Kate Harlow: 00:18:45

wake up and to experience like, life's full range, right?

Kate Harlow: 00:18:50

Because if life was just like, remember that movie

Kate Harlow: 00:18:52

Pleasantville, I was just like, pleasant all the time.

Kate Harlow: 00:18:56

Everyone's pleasant, you would feel dead inside. Like, how

Kate Harlow: 00:19:00

boring life has these crazy, catalytic moments, and everyone

Kate Harlow: 00:19:04

goes through different versions. You know, there's so many. We

Kate Harlow: 00:19:07

all experience tragedy in our life that's that's inevitable.

Kate Harlow: 00:19:10

You can't not one day you will experience something drastic

Kate Harlow: 00:19:15

that happens. That's just part of the human experience.

Kate Harlow: 00:19:18

Obviously, nowadays we have access to the with access to the

Kate Harlow: 00:19:23

world's news, we know of all the tragedies happening every day

Kate Harlow: 00:19:26

everywhere. So it's kind of like hard to escape, but that's part

Kate Harlow: 00:19:31

of the experience. So it was so beautiful to witness this friend

Kate Harlow: 00:19:34

of mine in her in her sadness and grief, and be able to hold

Kate Harlow: 00:19:38

her and love her through that, but also witness her in her

Kate Harlow: 00:19:41

devotion to her spiritual beliefs, knowing nothing we

Kate Harlow: 00:19:45

don't walk through any passageway without it being part

Kate Harlow: 00:19:49

of an initiation of our lives, an initiation of who we're

Kate Harlow: 00:19:53

becoming, an initiation of the next version of ourselves. So we

Kate Harlow: 00:19:57

can become more expressed. So. So we can create more, so we can

Kate Harlow: 00:20:01

make a bigger impact, so we can love more, so we can experience

Kate Harlow: 00:20:05

more here on planet Earth. So I don't agree with this, saying it

Kate Harlow: 00:20:09

happened for you, because that feels, you know, I worked, I've

Kate Harlow: 00:20:12

worked, actually, with many widows over the years, and many

Kate Harlow: 00:20:16

women who've lost their spouses. And, you know, saying to someone

Kate Harlow: 00:20:21

who's lost a spouse or a child or a loved one that happened for

Kate Harlow: 00:20:26

you seems kind of insensitive and also like that. That's what

Kate Harlow: 00:20:32

made that term start to not make sense to me. So I used to

Kate Harlow: 00:20:36

believe it, but what I actually believe is that thing happened,

Kate Harlow: 00:20:41

period. It's neutral. It happened. Yes, it was supposed

Kate Harlow: 00:20:44

to happen, because that soul would not have left Planet Earth

Kate Harlow: 00:20:47

if it wasn't their time. I've watched a lot of near death

Kate Harlow: 00:20:49

experiences to know that if people it's not their time,

Kate Harlow: 00:20:52

they'll go the other side and come back like that soul, no

Kate Harlow: 00:20:55

matter how old they were, no matter what the story is, was

Kate Harlow: 00:20:58

meant to leave the planet. And yet every single person argues

Kate Harlow: 00:21:03

with reality when people die partly, you know, I think in the

Kate Harlow: 00:21:07

Western world, we're so desensitized from death, so

Kate Harlow: 00:21:10

disconnected from death, and and we just avoid, avoid, avoid,

Kate Harlow: 00:21:14

avoid, avoid, and then it side swipes us. And I think that's

Kate Harlow: 00:21:17

part of why people have such denial around it. Because we've

Kate Harlow: 00:21:20

been break, we've been, like, kind of delusioned about it, I

Kate Harlow: 00:21:24

think of in Africa and in all these other countries in the

Kate Harlow: 00:21:28

world, death is a sacred thing, and people are so aware of it

Kate Harlow: 00:21:32

that it's a part of life. When I talk to my Kenyan friends, are

Kate Harlow: 00:21:34

like, they're like, Yeah, death is just normal, like, and it's

Kate Harlow: 00:21:38

such a sacred thing, and they have all their sacred rituals

Kate Harlow: 00:21:40

around it. And it's, it's more, I don't know, like up, they're

Kate Harlow: 00:21:46

more upfront about it. It's, it's part of life, whereas we're

Kate Harlow: 00:21:50

in denial in the western world often. So that's one of the

Kate Harlow: 00:21:53

things that absolutely feels like your life is falling apart.

Kate Harlow: 00:21:58

And understandably, because grief is so insurmountable, so

Kate Harlow: 00:22:01

overwhelming, and if you don't have a relationship to your

Kate Harlow: 00:22:05

feelings, and you have never been modeled or taught how to

Kate Harlow: 00:22:10

love yourself through hard times, how to fully get to the

Kate Harlow: 00:22:13

bottom of your feelings like a three year old child, if you

Kate Harlow: 00:22:17

don't know how to do that, and you've been compartmentalizing

Kate Harlow: 00:22:21

and numbing and distracting and avoiding for a long time. Of

Kate Harlow: 00:22:26

course, you're going to feel like it's a tsunami. I think

Kate Harlow: 00:22:28

it's the first, you know, the beginning, it feels like a

Kate Harlow: 00:22:30

tsunami either way. But it's that's a really big one. Loss is

Kate Harlow: 00:22:34

a, I'd say the biggest of of the life feeling like it's falling

Kate Harlow: 00:22:38

apart. And yet, even still, the thing happened, and there is an

Kate Harlow: 00:22:45

opportunity, not necessarily, if you're in the first you know,

Kate Harlow: 00:22:49

beginning phase of it, just let yourself hold yourself, take

Kate Harlow: 00:22:53

time off work, get like rest, surround yourself with loved

Kate Harlow: 00:22:56

ones, like be, let yourself be, and just care for yourself and

Kate Harlow: 00:23:03

that there comes a time when you feel ready to let this thing

Kate Harlow: 00:23:09

that happened in your life, that happened it did. You can't argue

Kate Harlow: 00:23:13

with that. This rupture be the thing that cracks you open so

Kate Harlow: 00:23:19

that you rebuild, reinvent, reawaken, unlock all of who you

Kate Harlow: 00:23:25

are, or the next version of yourself. You create a life

Kate Harlow: 00:23:29

that's more meaningful, right? What does death teach us or loss

Kate Harlow: 00:23:33

teach us? It teaches us how much life fucking matters. It teaches

Kate Harlow: 00:23:37

us how precious life is. It teaches us how deeply we love

Kate Harlow: 00:23:42

and how much we care, and how often most people are completely

Kate Harlow: 00:23:47

disconnected from the depth of love in their hearts. So let it,

Kate Harlow: 00:23:52

let this thing that that this catalyst, let you love bigger in

Kate Harlow: 00:23:56

your life, let you connect more, let you open your heart more and

Kate Harlow: 00:24:01

live from a deeper, more present, more meaningful place

Kate Harlow: 00:24:05

within yourself. That's the purpose of life falling apart is

Kate Harlow: 00:24:10

these catalytic moments happen to create change, because

Kate Harlow: 00:24:13

without them, if you are just in autopilot, if you are just doing

Kate Harlow: 00:24:18

the same thing every day, and you have your routines, and you

Kate Harlow: 00:24:22

have your places you go, and your people you see, and your

Kate Harlow: 00:24:25

things you do, your soul will die. Your soul needs newness. In

Kate Harlow: 00:24:31

order to in order to feel something, in order to feel

Kate Harlow: 00:24:35

alive, you need to experience new things, new places, new

Kate Harlow: 00:24:39

people. You need to go new you go on new adventures. You we do

Kate Harlow: 00:24:44

not meet our fullest selves without having new experiences.

Kate Harlow: 00:24:48

So sometimes life comes in not on purpose, not to punish us or

Kate Harlow: 00:24:53

hurt us or or teach us something. And well, it's always

Kate Harlow: 00:24:57

teaching us things, but it comes in with, sometimes with a. Four

Kate Harlow: 00:25:00

by four, or, you know, a

Kate Harlow: 00:25:03

train or whatever, and smashes us. And then we and it, we

Kate Harlow: 00:25:08

awaken to a whole new level. So some people go through big life

Kate Harlow: 00:25:12

changing events, like losing a job, and then they just, they

Kate Harlow: 00:25:16

wallow, right? And they wallow in that dramatic story. They

Kate Harlow: 00:25:20

believe the beliefs that aren't true. Oh, like, let's say, or

Kate Harlow: 00:25:23

let's say, you know your husband cheated on you. It's like some

Kate Harlow: 00:25:26

women will stay in that forever. They will be in agony. They will

Kate Harlow: 00:25:30

tell the story that men can't be trusted. They'll beat the shit

Kate Harlow: 00:25:33

out of themselves. They'll tell themselves that they they're not

Kate Harlow: 00:25:37

worthy of love, or they don't trust men, so they never want to

Kate Harlow: 00:25:40

be in a relationship again, and they'll let that thing stop them

Kate Harlow: 00:25:43

from ever letting love in again. And the rest of their lives,

Kate Harlow: 00:25:46

they'll hold it as ammunition against other people and against

Kate Harlow: 00:25:50

relationships. But they're what they're actually doing is

Kate Harlow: 00:25:53

closing their hearts out of protection, which is only

Kate Harlow: 00:25:56

hurting themselves. So that's what we do, or a loss of a job,

Kate Harlow: 00:26:00

and it rocks you. And then all of a sudden you feel really

Kate Harlow: 00:26:03

insecure, and then all of a sudden you feel like you're not

Kate Harlow: 00:26:06

good enough, and how are you going to get another job? And if

Kate Harlow: 00:26:09

this, this company doesn't want you who will? And you know, we

Kate Harlow: 00:26:12

use these things that happen, these catalytic change moments,

Kate Harlow: 00:26:17

and we make them mean something about ourselves. And of course,

Kate Harlow: 00:26:20

that's your saboteur making it mean something about you if you

Kate Harlow: 00:26:23

haven't done the saboteur mini course, go do it, find out more

Kate Harlow: 00:26:26

about your saboteur, but also enjoy join us in the starting

Kate Harlow: 00:26:30

over the seventh to ninth of November. But like this is your

Kate Harlow: 00:26:36

saboteur trying to take this experience and keep you small,

Kate Harlow: 00:26:42

because your saboteur was hired a long time ago to keep you

Kate Harlow: 00:26:46

small, right? You were too expressed, too big, too

Kate Harlow: 00:26:48

emotional, too too free, too vulnerable, too real, too

Kate Harlow: 00:26:53

playful, too imaginative, too creative, too wild, and so your

Kate Harlow: 00:26:58

saboteur was hired by your parents and your teachers and

Kate Harlow: 00:27:01

all the adults in your life to keep you small. So she thinks

Kate Harlow: 00:27:05

that's still her job, and she's still trying to keep you small.

Kate Harlow: 00:27:08

But just know all of those beliefs, all of those stories,

Kate Harlow: 00:27:10

are not true, and as long as you're believing them to be

Kate Harlow: 00:27:14

true, you're going to stay small when this is a time when

Kate Harlow: 00:27:18

everything's falling apart, it's actually falling together. Life

Kate Harlow: 00:27:21

brings these events, these circumstances, these situations,

Kate Harlow: 00:27:24

to rock us and change things up, so that we can be reborn, so we

Kate Harlow: 00:27:30

can awaken, so we can expand, so we can fuck the rules and make

Kate Harlow: 00:27:34

our own so we can we can find new parts of ourselves. You

Kate Harlow: 00:27:38

cannot do that if you were doing the same thing every day and

Kate Harlow: 00:27:41

trying to stay safe, right? I can't believe how many people I

Kate Harlow: 00:27:45

talked to that are like, Yeah, but I just want to do what's

Kate Harlow: 00:27:47

comfortable and like, what comforts me in the comfort zone,

Kate Harlow: 00:27:49

that word comfort, like that is actually the fucking torture

Kate Harlow: 00:27:52

zone. The Comfort Zone isn't comfortable. Comfortable might

Kate Harlow: 00:27:56

be cozy for, you know, a night when you're like, watching

Kate Harlow: 00:27:59

movies in the rain under your blankie in your closet. Like it

Kate Harlow: 00:28:03

might be comfortable for five minutes, but like if you're

Kate Harlow: 00:28:05

staying small because it feels safe, that is not safety. That

Kate Harlow: 00:28:11

is misery, that is prison, that is keeping yourself from being

Kate Harlow: 00:28:15

who you are, keeping yourself from living the life that the

Kate Harlow: 00:28:18

universe life has for you, right? Life has this beautiful

Kate Harlow: 00:28:23

journey, adventure in store for you that's perfectly a match to

Kate Harlow: 00:28:27

your soul. And yet, if you're hiding in your closet or hiding

Kate Harlow: 00:28:31

in your comfort zone, you're going to miss this life that's

Kate Harlow: 00:28:34

the perfect match to your soul, and I don't want that for you.

Kate Harlow: 00:28:39

So check yourself, check your stories, check what you're

Kate Harlow: 00:28:43

believing about what's happening right now. Let yourself feel

Kate Harlow: 00:28:47

your grief. Let yourself feel your pain, your sadness, your

Kate Harlow: 00:28:51

rage, your frustration. If you don't know how I talk about it

Kate Harlow: 00:28:54

on so many episodes, but this is the work I do with women,

Kate Harlow: 00:28:57

teaching them to how to be in deep relationship with

Kate Harlow: 00:29:00

themselves, so that you can navigate whatever life brings.

Kate Harlow: 00:29:04

Send me a DM, a PM, a GM, whatever, and we can explore

Kate Harlow: 00:29:10

possibilities of going on a journey together, where you can

Kate Harlow: 00:29:13

learn how to transform your relationship with yourself, but

Kate Harlow: 00:29:17

learn to learn to be in relationship with your feelings,

Kate Harlow: 00:29:21

without being in relationship with your saboteur, and all

Kate Harlow: 00:29:23

those stories and the dramatization of your feelings.

Kate Harlow: 00:29:27

So that's the first thing I have to say. It's like your

Kate Harlow: 00:29:30

perspective matters so much. Everything's not falling apart,

Kate Harlow: 00:29:32

it's actually coming together into the next level of your

Kate Harlow: 00:29:36

life, the next level of this human experience and soul

Kate Harlow: 00:29:40

experience that you're meant to experience, and often Big

Kate Harlow: 00:29:44

changes are an awakening for people. Whether you've been

Kate Harlow: 00:29:48

awake for a long time and you've been living your life freely

Kate Harlow: 00:29:50

from your heart and soul, or you're brand new and you've

Kate Harlow: 00:29:54

never done anything for yourself and you've been just following

Kate Harlow: 00:29:57

the scripted path, anything in between is. Still an awakening.

Kate Harlow: 00:30:01

It's like the next level awakening, or it's your first

Kate Harlow: 00:30:04

awakening, but it's here to wake you up to so much more, because

Kate Harlow: 00:30:08

we've been sold a whole bunch of lies that life is supposed to be

Kate Harlow: 00:30:11

scary and hard and stressful and busy and and and then we and

Kate Harlow: 00:30:15

then we die, like, what? What's the fucking point? Why are we

Kate Harlow: 00:30:18

all here? If we're just going to be stressed out, busy, scared,

Kate Harlow: 00:30:23

anxious, frustrated, overwhelmed, and then we die.

Kate Harlow: 00:30:27

That is not the point of being here on planet Earth. I promise

Kate Harlow: 00:30:31

you, your soul has a deeper purpose. By the way, later in

Kate Harlow: 00:30:34

November, after the starting over weekend, there will be a

Kate Harlow: 00:30:37

little purpose series. So I'm excited about that. Okay, so

Kate Harlow: 00:30:43

number two, I guess that was number one, is check yourself

Kate Harlow: 00:30:48

your beliefs in the stories that you're believing,

Kate Harlow: 00:30:52

is build your community. Community is everything when you

Kate Harlow: 00:30:57

feel alone, but don't surround yourself with those typical, you

Kate Harlow: 00:31:01

know, saboteur besties that are reinforcing your stories. Like,

Kate Harlow: 00:31:06

oh my god, I can't believe he cheated. Men are all assholes.

Kate Harlow: 00:31:09

You're right. Never date again. Like, if you're surrounding

Kate Harlow: 00:31:12

yourself with people like that, women like that, you are going

Kate Harlow: 00:31:17

to stay stuck right, surround yourself with people who inspire

Kate Harlow: 00:31:20

you and expand you. Look go spend time in places like yoga

Kate Harlow: 00:31:26

studios, breath work, sambal healings, drum circles, I don't

Kate Harlow: 00:31:33

know, like Tantra workshops, whatever. Go do things that

Kate Harlow: 00:31:36

expand you, and you will meet other people who also want to be

Kate Harlow: 00:31:41

expanded. You'll meet women at the weekend of starting over

Kate Harlow: 00:31:45

too. So join me there and you'll you'll meet some amazing women

Kate Harlow: 00:31:48

who take responsibility for their path, but you want to

Kate Harlow: 00:31:51

surround yourself with people who take responsibility for

Kate Harlow: 00:31:54

their feelings, who are not victims of their circumstance,

Kate Harlow: 00:31:57

who have a relationship to all of their feelings and who also

Kate Harlow: 00:32:02

live an expanded life, who inspire you, who can help you

Kate Harlow: 00:32:08

feel like more is possible from this situation instead of less.

Kate Harlow: 00:32:12

That's who you want to surround yourself with, not with people

Kate Harlow: 00:32:15

who are wallowing and in victim mentality and in arguing with

Kate Harlow: 00:32:19

reality and struggling on the struggle bus, and, you know,

Kate Harlow: 00:32:24

stuck in a FOUP or who are reinforcing your stories and

Kate Harlow: 00:32:28

your beliefs that you've been believing, that's only going to

Kate Harlow: 00:32:31

keep you stuck. So, so, so important that you surround

Kate Harlow: 00:32:35

yourself with the right community, with the right women,

Kate Harlow: 00:32:38

and as women, we need community. It's essential. You know,

Kate Harlow: 00:32:42

actually, this is a beautiful story. I one of my favorite

Kate Harlow: 00:32:45

things about being here is, like, community is it's

Kate Harlow: 00:32:48

everywhere, everywhere. But people are so open here. We have

Kate Harlow: 00:32:52

made so many friends, mostly at dojo, the gym that I told you

Kate Harlow: 00:32:56

about, that I'm obsessed with. We've made so many friends

Kate Harlow: 00:33:00

there, and I've gone for coffees. And we, my friend

Kate Harlow: 00:33:04

Amber, hosted a women's circle the other night. Unfortunately,

Kate Harlow: 00:33:07

I was hugging the toilet so I couldn't attend. I was supposed

Kate Harlow: 00:33:10

to go too. But we, we've made, like, 1520, from maybe not 20,

Kate Harlow: 00:33:14

but like 15, no, maybe 20. And we made a lot of friends, like,

Kate Harlow: 00:33:17

I make a new friend almost every day. Today. Okay? Couple days

Kate Harlow: 00:33:20

ago, I was at a coffee shop, and actually, this is not the story

Kate Harlow: 00:33:25

I was gonna tell, but this woman's so beautiful, like,

Kate Harlow: 00:33:27

radiant, glowing, one of the most beautiful women I've ever

Kate Harlow: 00:33:30

seen. And I was like, how she was a server at the coffee shop.

Kate Harlow: 00:33:34

And I said, I have to tell you, you are so beautiful, like you

Kate Harlow: 00:33:37

take my breath away. And she was like, what? Thank you. And then

Kate Harlow: 00:33:42

she came back two minutes later and she said, I have to tell

Kate Harlow: 00:33:44

you, Kate, actually, I don't think she knew my name at that

Kate Harlow: 00:33:47

time. She said, I have been sent messages my whole life that

Kate Harlow: 00:33:53

women with really, really dark skin, Kenyan women are not

Kate Harlow: 00:33:56

beautiful, and the women the ugly, she said, and the Kenyan

Kate Harlow: 00:34:00

women with brown skin, like more lighter skin, are the ones who

Kate Harlow: 00:34:03

are beautiful. That was the message she got growing up. And

Kate Harlow: 00:34:06

I was heartbroken hearing this. And I was like, Who the fuck

Kate Harlow: 00:34:09

told you that? And and then we, we laughed, and she said, I, she

Kate Harlow: 00:34:15

said, I have to tell you, one year ago, I went deep into

Kate Harlow: 00:34:19

myself. And I'm paraphrasing here. I can't remember the exact

Kate Harlow: 00:34:21

words, but it was like, so aligned. Like, so aligned with

Kate Harlow: 00:34:23

everything she said. I went deep into myself, and I went inward,

Kate Harlow: 00:34:26

and I learned how to love myself, and now I feel more

Kate Harlow: 00:34:29

beautiful than ever, and now I look more beautiful than ever,

Kate Harlow: 00:34:32

and I'm glowing. And now nobody, nothing, nobody could say, could

Kate Harlow: 00:34:35

hurt me, because I actually love myself and see my own beauty,

Kate Harlow: 00:34:40

and and I was like, Oh my God. I looked at her, and was like,

Kate Harlow: 00:34:43

this is literally what I teach other women how to feel and how

Kate Harlow: 00:34:48

to embody. And I said, Here's my podcast. And, and then I went in

Kate Harlow: 00:34:52

again today, and she came up to me. I was in. I had a hat and

Kate Harlow: 00:34:56

raincoat on so she didn't recognize me. And then she's

Kate Harlow: 00:34:58

looking and looking, and she comes. Over, and she's like, it

Kate Harlow: 00:35:01

is you. And I was like, Yes, me. She said, I've been listening to

Kate Harlow: 00:35:04

the podcast. And she said, wow, everything you say is what I

Kate Harlow: 00:35:08

believe. Like this is it I thank you so much. I'm so excited to

Kate Harlow: 00:35:10

listen to more episodes. So it was so beautiful. Shout out to

Kate Harlow: 00:35:13

you, Beatty, if you're listening. It was so beautiful,

Kate Harlow: 00:35:17

such a beautiful exchange. But these are the kinds of women I'm

Kate Harlow: 00:35:19

meeting because I am embodying the energy right of radical

Kate Harlow: 00:35:25

ownership over my feelings, taking responsibility for

Kate Harlow: 00:35:28

myself, loving myself, living for my truth, feeling my

Kate Harlow: 00:35:31

feelings, all of those things. And then what happens? I attract

Kate Harlow: 00:35:35

other women that are the same. I have made so many Canyon friends

Kate Harlow: 00:35:38

who are empowered, unscripted, doing really cool things,

Kate Harlow: 00:35:42

amazing, creatives, like it's mind blowing. So community is

Kate Harlow: 00:35:47

everything. It's funny. That wasn't the story I was going to

Kate Harlow: 00:35:50

share. The other story I was going to share of one of my new

Kate Harlow: 00:35:53

Kenyan friends. She when I was sick, she came over the night of

Kate Harlow: 00:35:56

the women's circle that I couldn't attend. She came over

Kate Harlow: 00:35:59

to my place with a box of fruit, walks right into my cottage.

Kate Harlow: 00:36:03

She'd never been here, walks right in, goes straight to the

Kate Harlow: 00:36:05

sink, brings this, like fruit, cleaning stuff, cleans it, and

Kate Harlow: 00:36:09

it's a giant box of fruit. She brought me a giant watermelon, a

Kate Harlow: 00:36:12

giant papaya, you know, grapes, apples, you name it, like whole

Kate Harlow: 00:36:17

thing. And she washed my fruit for 10 minutes and explained how

Kate Harlow: 00:36:20

important is to wash the fruit here. And she's like, when

Kate Harlow: 00:36:23

you're sick, you have to eat fruit. You need to replenish

Kate Harlow: 00:36:26

with fruit. And I was like, Okay, thank you. I'm crying. I'm

Kate Harlow: 00:36:28

like, my god, this is so generous. And she's looking down

Kate Harlow: 00:36:32

at my at my recycling, and she's like, why do you why are you

Kate Harlow: 00:36:36

eating boxed soup? It was like, miso soup in box, like it was a

Kate Harlow: 00:36:40

powder, but it came in a box, and I was like, I don't know my

Kate Harlow: 00:36:44

kitchen smell. And she's like, You got to cook from scratch.

Kate Harlow: 00:36:46

You got to cook everything from scratch. You got to cook. And

Kate Harlow: 00:36:49

then two days later, she had me and my friend over for lunch. It

Kate Harlow: 00:36:51

was so sweet. So just community is everything, and the more you

Kate Harlow: 00:36:56

walk through, I know in you know, if you're in the Western

Kate Harlow: 00:36:59

world, people are busy, people are disconnected, so sometimes

Kate Harlow: 00:37:02

it feels like they're not as as as engaging. Like, I've

Kate Harlow: 00:37:05

definitely had a lot of conversations with heroines that

Kate Harlow: 00:37:08

I'm working with, heroin sisters, clients that I'm

Kate Harlow: 00:37:11

working with who are who are like, Oh, I wish I had a gym

Kate Harlow: 00:37:14

like that where I could make friends and connect. Everyone in

Kate Harlow: 00:37:18

my yoga studio doesn't even say hi. They don't even look at each

Kate Harlow: 00:37:20

other. You see the same people, and they just kind of avoid each

Kate Harlow: 00:37:23

other. And I said, Be the one who walks into the yoga studio

Kate Harlow: 00:37:27

with her heart open, and connect yourself and see what happens.

Kate Harlow: 00:37:31

It was like when I lived in Vancouver. I went to bar every

Kate Harlow: 00:37:34

day, and I had so many friends in my bar class. I was friends

Kate Harlow: 00:37:37

with all of the teachers. I was friends with all of the regulars

Kate Harlow: 00:37:40

because I had my heart open and I was always connecting with

Kate Harlow: 00:37:43

everyone. So be the change in the world you wish to see as

Kate Harlow: 00:37:47

beautiful Gandhi said to us many moons ago, be the change in the

Kate Harlow: 00:37:52

world you wish to see. But for women, especially when we're

Kate Harlow: 00:37:56

going through hard times, being around other humans who've been

Kate Harlow: 00:38:00

through what you've been through, or who know how to hold

Kate Harlow: 00:38:03

space and how to just be with your feelings, who know how to

Kate Harlow: 00:38:07

care and love you through it, who know how to come bring fruit

Kate Harlow: 00:38:11

to your house without you asking like that is who you want to

Kate Harlow: 00:38:15

surround yourself with. Let yourself be supported. Women are

Kate Harlow: 00:38:19

so bad at receiving. I've worked with a lot of I've worked with

Kate Harlow: 00:38:23

1000s of women. At this point, it's been almost 20 years, and

Kate Harlow: 00:38:27

women are bad at receiving. So let yourself learn how to

Kate Harlow: 00:38:31

receive, because that's an act of self love that you can give

Kate Harlow: 00:38:34

to yourself, as if someone's offering to support you or you

Kate Harlow: 00:38:37

need support. Reach out, Ask, and you can even instruct your

Kate Harlow: 00:38:41

friends, hey, I need to share, but please don't give me advice.

Kate Harlow: 00:38:45

Like, I just want to get this off my chest. I just need to

Kate Harlow: 00:38:48

feel supported. But I really, really don't need advice,

Kate Harlow: 00:38:52

because that way you don't get stuck in them telling you, like,

Kate Harlow: 00:38:55

Oh, he's an asshole. You shouldn't whatever. The thing

Kate Harlow: 00:38:58

is, the bad advice that you're getting, and it allows you to

Kate Harlow: 00:39:01

really just feel because if people just listen to you vent,

Kate Harlow: 00:39:05

and then they try and go into the story with you, it keeps you

Kate Harlow: 00:39:08

stuck in the story. So sometimes we have to train the people in

Kate Harlow: 00:39:12

our lives how to hold space, how to support us in the way we need

Kate Harlow: 00:39:15

to be supported. But just know that you know when you feel like

Kate Harlow: 00:39:18

things are falling apart. Part of the challenge is women feel

Kate Harlow: 00:39:22

so alone. I mean, I don't feel alone here, but I know I did

Kate Harlow: 00:39:25

when I was in Vancouver, like in the Western world, it's like,

Kate Harlow: 00:39:29

we're all, like, isolated. You know, everyone's so individual.

Kate Harlow: 00:39:33

Everyone's so separate there, and I look at Africans, I look

Kate Harlow: 00:39:37

at Kenyans, and they're so connected to each other. They're

Kate Harlow: 00:39:40

all helping each other out. Everyone's doing it together.

Kate Harlow: 00:39:44

They're not separate. They're just it's like so different

Kate Harlow: 00:39:47

here, and we're so individualistic, especially in

Kate Harlow: 00:39:50

North America, but I think most of the western world so

Kate Harlow: 00:39:55

individualistic, and it's so unnatural for us to be that way.

Kate Harlow: 00:39:59

I. Our souls need love and support and community. So that's

Kate Harlow: 00:40:03

such a big one. And then the third thing that I will say is

Kate Harlow: 00:40:08

this is your reset. So let yourself be reborn. Let yourself

Kate Harlow: 00:40:15

be reinvented. Let this time that you're going through this

Kate Harlow: 00:40:20

rupture, crack you open so that you can meet a whole new version

Kate Harlow: 00:40:26

of yourself, because that's what's available to you here,

Kate Harlow: 00:40:29

you can either stay stuck in the story, stay stuck in the

Kate Harlow: 00:40:32

identity of the thing that happened to you, or you can let

Kate Harlow: 00:40:36

this rupture crack you open so you can meet new parts of

Kate Harlow: 00:40:40

yourself you didn't even know were there. And there is so much

Kate Harlow: 00:40:44

inside of you you couldn't see. I mean, I am absolutely effing

Kate Harlow: 00:40:48

floored when I work with women. I've worked with, like I said,

Kate Harlow: 00:40:53

1000s of women at this point over the last 20 years, and it

Kate Harlow: 00:40:57

blows my mind how how much change is possible, like when I

Kate Harlow: 00:41:03

work with women, and from the beginning to the end, how much

Kate Harlow: 00:41:07

change is possible. And one of my beautiful, beautiful heroin

Kate Harlow: 00:41:11

sisters, that's what I call my clients. I don't like the word

Kate Harlow: 00:41:15

client. I had one of my beautiful heroin sisters, and I

Kate Harlow: 00:41:18

did our final call recently, and she there was a moment where she

Kate Harlow: 00:41:24

cried and just said, I actually love myself. I didn't know that

Kate Harlow: 00:41:28

was possible. I actually love myself, and that like I was

Kate Harlow: 00:41:32

actually crying at the same time. I don't know if I told her

Kate Harlow: 00:41:35

that, but it was it like that? Is it that? Is it like we have

Kate Harlow: 00:41:39

been taught to hate ourselves. Women have been literally

Kate Harlow: 00:41:42

fucking trained to hate ourselves. So no wonder life is

Kate Harlow: 00:41:46

so hard. So no wonder we get so hooked into the past and want to

Kate Harlow: 00:41:49

hold on to everything that was, that job, that relationship,

Kate Harlow: 00:41:53

that person who passed away, that that thing. We want to hold

Kate Harlow: 00:41:56

on. We want things to go back to the way they were, because we've

Kate Harlow: 00:41:59

been taught to hate ourselves, and men have been taught to love

Kate Harlow: 00:42:02

themselves, so they just go through life like, okay, things

Kate Harlow: 00:42:04

happen, they move through it, and they move on to the next

Kate Harlow: 00:42:07

thing, because they've been taught to believe in themselves.

Kate Harlow: 00:42:10

They've been taught to go for it. Women have been taught to be

Kate Harlow: 00:42:13

small and selfless and and to fucking think that we're just

Kate Harlow: 00:42:17

Barbies that aren't supposed to age, and we're supposed to stay

Kate Harlow: 00:42:19

stuck and stay the same, and we're supposed to we're supposed

Kate Harlow: 00:42:23

to be everything for everyone, and be selfless, less of a self

Kate Harlow: 00:42:25

and not, not supposed to even exist in our own lives like it's

Kate Harlow: 00:42:29

such a bullshit story that we were fed. This is your

Kate Harlow: 00:42:32

reinvention, my love. This is your opportunity to rise up for

Kate Harlow: 00:42:37

yourself, for that little girl inside of yourself who had to

Kate Harlow: 00:42:40

change who she was to fit the world around her. This is your

Kate Harlow: 00:42:43

opportunity to stand up for her and to create a new life and a

Kate Harlow: 00:42:49

new world, and to stand up for yourself and to love yourself in

Kate Harlow: 00:42:52

ways you never have before, to learn to love yourself, to learn

Kate Harlow: 00:42:56

to step into all those parts of you you forgot about, your

Kate Harlow: 00:42:59

sensuality, your power, your pleasure, your joy, your your

Kate Harlow: 00:43:05

expression, your your truth, your your your ability to say

Kate Harlow: 00:43:11

no, like whatever it is that you're growing into. Let this be

Kate Harlow: 00:43:15

your time. This is a gateway. Every time we go through a

Kate Harlow: 00:43:18

rupture, it's a portal. Every time we have a big contraction,

Kate Harlow: 00:43:22

it's a portal. It's a portal to a new world, to a new you, and

Kate Harlow: 00:43:27

let yourself be supported in it. So this is your invitation. This

Kate Harlow: 00:43:33

is your initiation to step into something new. This is your

Kate Harlow: 00:43:37

invitation from the universe, and this is your invitation from

Kate Harlow: 00:43:42

Kate Harlow to join the starting over program. It's $47 that's

Kate Harlow: 00:43:48

crazy. It's a $97 course for $47 this is it's going to be such a

Kate Harlow: 00:43:53

beautiful weekend, three days, November, 7 to ninth, 8am

Kate Harlow: 00:43:57

Pacific, till 1030 Pacific. Every morning, you'll be meeting

Kate Harlow: 00:44:02

women from around the world, amazing women who are on a

Kate Harlow: 00:44:05

similar path, who are devoted to themselves because they're

Kate Harlow: 00:44:09

showing up, but also going through big rupture in their

Kate Harlow: 00:44:12

lives. So you're going to have something in common. No matter

Kate Harlow: 00:44:15

what it is, there's something in common. There you go. There's

Kate Harlow: 00:44:19

the community. And it's going to be such a special weekend.

Kate Harlow: 00:44:22

You'll be you will be connecting with other women, and I'll be

Kate Harlow: 00:44:26

teaching, and there'll be practices, and it's going to be

Kate Harlow: 00:44:29

such a beautiful opportunity for you to rewrite your grief story,

Kate Harlow: 00:44:34

to rewrite your when things fall apart, story into things are

Kate Harlow: 00:44:37

coming together exactly as they're supposed to be, and to

Kate Harlow: 00:44:41

learn how to hold yourself through this time so you can

Kate Harlow: 00:44:44

rise and become the woman you were born to be. It is time. In

Kate Harlow: 00:44:48

astrology, there is so much change happening right now.

Kate Harlow: 00:44:51

Like, that's why the world feels so crazy, because it is so

Kate Harlow: 00:44:54

potent in astrology, like, no one's lives are going to look

Kate Harlow: 00:44:57

the same unless you're trying to, like, hold. On, in which

Kate Harlow: 00:45:00

case you're going to suffer a lot. It's like the person like

Kate Harlow: 00:45:02

holding on, and the the currents like smashing them in the face,

Kate Harlow: 00:45:06

and things are hitting them, branches and whatever, and

Kate Harlow: 00:45:10

they're just holding on, trying to stay in one place, rather

Kate Harlow: 00:45:12

than going with the flow of the stream, like it's time to let go

Kate Harlow: 00:45:17

and to go with the flow of life. Life is leading you. There's a

Kate Harlow: 00:45:20

higher intelligence on planet Earth, and there is a path that

Kate Harlow: 00:45:24

is meant for you. Life is leading you. You have a

Kate Harlow: 00:45:27

beautiful story that your soul is meant to experience this, not

Kate Harlow: 00:45:31

the old, outdated. I'm going to get married and have kids and

Kate Harlow: 00:45:34

and get a corner office and get a house and a picket fence and a

Kate Harlow: 00:45:37

dog, and I'm going to live happily ever after. Not to say

Kate Harlow: 00:45:40

there's anything wrong with any of those things inherently in

Kate Harlow: 00:45:43

themselves. The problem is where women are choosing from. It's

Kate Harlow: 00:45:46

not their soul. It's often their saboteur. We'll talk about that

Kate Harlow: 00:45:50

in the weekend, but this is an opportunity for you to rise and

Kate Harlow: 00:45:54

be supported and held and feel seen and and meet women

Kate Harlow: 00:45:59

who can be your buddies, your soul sisters, on the journey. So

Kate Harlow: 00:46:03

join me. November, 7 to ninth, 8am to 10:30am I almost said PM.

Kate Harlow: 00:46:09

Pacific. It's just two and a half hours each day. So Easy

Kate Harlow: 00:46:12

does it? Even if you have to miss a day, like, let's say you

Kate Harlow: 00:46:15

work on Friday, you can't get out of it. If you can get out of

Kate Harlow: 00:46:18

it, great. Pretend you're at a dentist appointment. If you

Kate Harlow: 00:46:20

can't get out of it, you're at the soul dentist. If you can't

Kate Harlow: 00:46:25

get out of it, and you have to miss one of the days there will,

Kate Harlow: 00:46:30

there will be a recording we can send you so you don't have to

Kate Harlow: 00:46:32

worry about missing it will be well worth your $47 to come no

Kate Harlow: 00:46:37

matter what. I promise you will be so worth your time. It's

Kate Harlow: 00:46:41

gonna be such a beautiful experience. And we get to hang

Kate Harlow: 00:46:43

out intimately on Zoom together. Get see your face. You get to

Kate Harlow: 00:46:46

see my face, and we get to hang out and and rise together. I,

Kate Harlow: 00:46:51

I'm going through a transition right now. I i Three and a half,

Kate Harlow: 00:46:55

four years ago, I left Vancouver, Canada, all the world

Kate Harlow: 00:46:59

that I knew it. I left a seven year relationship, and I moved

Kate Harlow: 00:47:02

to Greece, and I trusted my heart and i i Let everything go,

Kate Harlow: 00:47:07

and that was the biggest, most transformational time of my

Kate Harlow: 00:47:10

life. Oh, my God. Living in Greece changed me on every

Kate Harlow: 00:47:13

level. I can't even tell you, leaving that seven year

Kate Harlow: 00:47:15

relationship changed me on every level, and it took a long time

Kate Harlow: 00:47:18

to let go. Took, like, three years because, you know, there

Kate Harlow: 00:47:22

was a holding on that happened, but it changed me on every

Kate Harlow: 00:47:26

level, and now I'm going through another one. Just left a three

Kate Harlow: 00:47:29

year relationship, left my beloved Greece to move to

Kate Harlow: 00:47:33

Nairobi, Kenya and and now going through another massive

Kate Harlow: 00:47:38

transition again. So I'm on the path with you. You're not alone.

Kate Harlow: 00:47:43

I've been going through massive change too, except the only

Kate Harlow: 00:47:46

difference is I have all the tools, all the perspectives, all

Kate Harlow: 00:47:49

the resources, all the practices to be able to love and hold

Kate Harlow: 00:47:52

myself through it. So it's been easeful and graceful and

Kate Harlow: 00:47:55

expansive and inspiring and creative, and, you know, so

Kate Harlow: 00:48:01

magical. So one day, your transitions will be more

Kate Harlow: 00:48:04

magical, too. Maybe not all of them, okay, not all transitions

Kate Harlow: 00:48:08

can feel magical, but they all serve a purpose. So life is

Kate Harlow: 00:48:12

leading you somewhere new, and I'm here for it. I love you. I

Kate Harlow: 00:48:17

can't wait to see you at the starting over weekend. The link

Kate Harlow: 00:48:21

will be below this episode. I'm also going to have it in my bio

Kate Harlow: 00:48:25

on my Instagram. Kate Harlow, the unscripted woman, so

Kate Harlow: 00:48:29

definitely check that out there. Get the link. Sign up. The

Kate Harlow: 00:48:32

discount code is expand, E, x, P, A, N, D, capital letters. All

Kate Harlow: 00:48:37

capital letters. That's how you get your 50% off. Tell all your

Kate Harlow: 00:48:41

friends, if you know women going through big transition right

Kate Harlow: 00:48:43

now, like pretty much everyone is, so tell them, get your send

Kate Harlow: 00:48:47

them this episode and tell them you want to do this weekend with

Kate Harlow: 00:48:51

them. It's so much fun to do it. And if you're a heroin sister

Kate Harlow: 00:48:54

already in the community, join us. Love you. Love having you

Kate Harlow: 00:48:58

there. It's always the best when you were there, so I would love

Kate Harlow: 00:49:03

to see you there. I love you. Thank you so much for being a

Kate Harlow: 00:49:07

part of the new truth and all that's to all it's been and I'm

Kate Harlow: 00:49:11

really excited for what's coming, because that one of the

Kate Harlow: 00:49:14

big creative downloads was about the podcast, and just like

Kate Harlow: 00:49:17

feeling re inspired and reinvigorated. So yeah, that's

Kate Harlow: 00:49:21

it. Hope you enjoyed this episode. Oh, also reviews. I

Kate Harlow: 00:49:25

never talk about reviews, but apparently they're very helpful

Kate Harlow: 00:49:28

to grow the podcast. If you love the new truth, give me a review.

Kate Harlow: 00:49:31

Would be so nice to have a five star review and tell give us a

Kate Harlow: 00:49:36

little blurb about what the experience has been like for you

Kate Harlow: 00:49:38

wherever you listen to the podcast, Spotify iTunes, Apple,

Kate Harlow: 00:49:42

one of the, I don't know, the Android ones, but it's

Kate Harlow: 00:49:45

everywhere except YouTube, and it's gonna be on YouTube soon.

Kate Harlow: 00:49:48

So might even be on YouTube with this video, I don't know, by the

Kate Harlow: 00:49:51

time this comes out. So sending you so much love, and I'll see

Kate Harlow: 00:49:56

you next week. You.