Welcome back to Dont get this Twisted

The conversation explores the topic of gossip and its impact on individuals and relationships. It emphasizes the negative consequences of using gossip as a weapon and the importance of avoiding gossip and judgment. The conversation also highlights the need to protect others from gossip and the potential for gossip to escalate and ruin lives. It delves into the gray area of judgment and the dangers of assuming one's own perspective is the only truth. The conversation concludes with a discussion on embracing happiness, owning personal choices, and living one's own life without worrying about others' judgments.

Explicit

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This podcast and website represent the opinions of Robb Courtney and Tina Garcia and their guests to the show and website. The content here should not be interpreted as medical advice or any other type of advice from any other type of licensed professional. The content here is for informational purposes only, and because each person is so unique, please consult your healthcare or other applicable licensed professional with any medical or other related questions. Views and opinions expressed in the podcast and website are our own and do not represent that of our places of work. While we make every effort to ensure that the information, we are sharing is accurate, we welcome any comments, suggestions, or correction of errors. Privacy is of the utmost importance to us. All people, places, and scenarios mentioned in the podcast have been changed to protect confidentiality. This website or podcast should not be used in any legal capacity whatsoever, including but not limited to establishing “standard of care” in a legal sense or as a basis for expert witness testimony related to the medical profession or any other licensed profession. No guarantee is given regarding the accuracy of any statements or opinions made on the podcast or website. In no way does listening, reading, emailing, or interacting on social media with our content establish a doctor-patient relationship or relationship with any other type of licensed professional. Robb Courtney and Tina Garcia do not receive any money from any pharmaceutical industry for topics covered pertaining to medicine or medical in nature. If you find any errors in any of the content of this podcast, website, or blogs, please send a message through the “contact” page or email DGTTwisted@gmail.com. This podcast is owned by "Don’t Get This Twisted,” Robb Courtney.

And welcome to another show of Don't Get This Twisted. I am Rob, along with my co-host as always, Tina. How you doing, Tina?

I am tired today Rob, but I am here. So, good, I'm glad you can. Yeah, I was worried about that because, you know, I had to reset up everything. How sitting again, had to reset up everything and I wanted to make sure that you were hearing me clearly.

And I can hear you well. Ha ha ha.

You are groovy. Yes, since you were out and about and I've been kind of, you know, in the clouds, we really didn't know what to talk about today. So I threw you a message earlier in the day and you're like, hey, let's talk about this. And I was like, cool, I'll just jump on whatever you say. So start talking.

Good.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah. So I thought that today would be a good day to talk about people that gossip and things that get said and how things get misconstrued and how saying one thing you could say it one way, but the way it comes back to you is completely different almost like playing the game telephone where you say something and then the next one and then the next one and then by the time it gets back it's not even the same story. And I know in my life I've been...

Sure.

I've been the subject of so much gossip, it's kind of fun to hear what comes back, you know, because I guess I set myself up because I'm kind of an open book and I tell way too much to people. And then when it comes back around, I'm like, that's not even what I said, nor do I. And I'm like, I don't think that way, because I'm not one that remembers verbatim what I said at every stage of the game. I don't even remember what we talked about on the podcast. I give you my honest whatever. And then I move along, you know, I don't worry about it.

I don't need to check myself. I don't need to keep my facts straight because I'm giving you the honest me right now. So I was in a situation where I was talking to a friend and I was giving her my honest opinions and stuff. But then she went back to her partner. And the way it came back to me was that I was against him.

Mm-hmm. Right.

that everything was all, you know, just fucked up. And I was like, Wait a minute, that's not, I know that's not how I feel. So that's not what I would have said. So I kind of I kind of have gotten stuck in this gossip thing a couple of times. And I think the, the reason that I do is because I say stuff that is very honest and truthful. And, you know, I don't pull any punches, but I guess it could create kind of some

Mm-hmm.

inner drama with people, especially who don't want to hear the truth or don't know how to take in the information, keep it to themselves, remember what was said, and act accordingly. So it's been interesting because over the years I can honestly say that I have been drugged through some drama because

of something that somebody else had said and I was like, wait a minute, that's not how it was. So that's why I was thinking it was a good thing to talk about today. There's so much gossip that goes around. I mean, they have TV shows that are all about like TMZ is giving them a gossip. You know, you get what's going on right now with this person and you know, they fart wrong. Somebody wants to talk about it. So I kind of feel like I'm in that place in my life where I'm like, really?

You guys want to you guys want to worry about this because was what I said, was it true? Like, let's start with that. You know, is it is it gossip or am I just stating the facts? You know, so I thought this.

Right.

And I think that meant so many things that are said can be misconstrued Whether live talking to someone you're right It can kind of go in one ear and come out a totally different story because it all matters like What you want to hear or what they want to hear?

Yes.

right?

Mm-hmm.

And then there's then there's text messages, which is the most misconstrued thing on this planet You know, you can type something and it means something very straightforward like Like because when you type it and read it you're like man, I hope they get you know, this they're gonna they understand And then they'll come back with a text like well, what does that mean? It's like, uh, okay

Yeah, that's for sure.

Mm-hmm.

Or why'd you say it like that? You didn't put any emojis. God forbid you not put a fucking picture after every sentence that you say, because then it could totally go wrong on you. And I'm like, wait a minute, did you read what I said? Read it again. Read it again without your attitude. Read it again without thinking that your best friend's wrong all the time, you know. Start with that. Like give people the benefit of the doubt.

Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Right.

Hmm. Right. And then there's like true gossip where it's just people, you know, wanting to bad mouth somebody for their own gain.

I remember in high school hearing, and you probably heard the story too, a girl was messing around with one of the athletes. She was a cheerleader and supposedly he put a banana up inside of her. So for like the rest of school, she was a year younger than us. So I remember this being like two years went on and she was known as the banana girl. Nobody knew, nobody saw pictures. We didn't have pictures back then. Nobody knew if it was true.

Mm-hmm.

But she was the banana girl from that point on. And I always thought that was kind of mean, because even I to this day will think of her as the banana girl, because that's what stuck in my head.

Right. Yeah, and...

Oh yeah, she was labeled.

Mm-hmm. Do you remember that?

No, no. And once we get off, get off here, I'll have to, you have to tell me who it was. Yes. So just, just if I knew or not. I think a lot of that goes with, you know, gossip, tearing people down or, or trying to gain favor with other people. Right. So

You'll have to know who it was.

Mm-hmm.

And I've heard it a lot between family members. They're the worst at gossiping. And they'll mostly like, I'll give you an example. A friend of mine, she has three kids and they'll throw things at each other, I think just to get reactions or to get someone riled up or say something to one, not knowing that the other one didn't know

Mm-hmm.

and then it's a whole other blow up. And it's funny, because one of the kids just stay out of it. Like, just leave me the fuck out of that. So I think that when you see things like that, gossip can be used to just butcher someone's...

Mm-hmm.

I'm not gonna say reputation, but really kind of go below. Yeah, and really below the belt. And even if some of it is true, it's always used as this weapon of like, they did this. Did you know that they did this? Did you know? And it's like, okay, well, yeah, maybe I did know. Well, you're not mad? No, I don't care. It is what it is.

paint a shitty picture about a person that's not true.

I kind of get it. You know what I mean? When I hear stuff like that, I'm like, well, I get why they would do it, you know, because I always put myself in that person's place. And I'm like, that doesn't seem like a bad thing. I've done worse. So why would I judge the person that we're talking about?

Right.

Exactly.

Yeah, and generally the people who are judging are the holier than thou, right? Or or they're judging because they have something to gain from it, right?

Mm-hmm

or they don't want to deal with the truth. So they want to make the other person wrong.

That, oh, that's, oh yeah. Yes, I've seen that part too, where there was something very out, well, not out in the open, but it was probably pretty known or...

Mm-hmm.

Thought that something was bad, right? Something was going on that was bad and They chose to ignore it for their own gain And it's like that's no good. And then of course when That goes to shit then the gossip starts Oh, they did this and they did this and she's like this and he's like this and they're doing this. It's like look

Uh huh.

We all gotta live our lives, and I'm sure gossip in high school is probably just as prevalent as it was when we were there, and probably more. Right, but I mean, social media probably has made gossip 20 times worse, because you're talking about the banana girl. You know what would have happened if it happened a year ago?

Absolutely. Well, if kids talk to each other, it is.

He would have been on video. Yeah. Mm-hmm.

Yeah, and it would have been sent to every single person they could have sent it to.

Well then that would not have been gossip. That would have been the truth because there's the fact of seeing the video.

There is, but I think that like, but you can gossip quickly, even though it's not true through social media. You make one post saying,

Mm-hmm.

Maybe not naming the person but saying oh I heard that this person did this at school today And then it's so open-ended right that now Everybody's texting each other Well, is it this person? Is it this person? And then it again then the gossip just blows up all over the place and I think as an adult that's a work problem

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm

If you work in a maybe a place where there's a lot of people, you know, like a like a corporate environment in a huge office.

Right?

That you know, it just it's telephone like you said, you know They may be telling a story of what happened and by the time it gets to the last person You know The the poor girl was you know tied upside down and And you know, I mean all kinds of crazy stuff and what really happened is she slipped and fell at the pool It's like well, wait a second like how did that happen? so I think it's just very easy now to

Mm-hmm.

Right, right.

you know, hear a story or have a thought about what you think happened, and then you're telling everyone your side of the story. And I think, you know, you have to be very careful with that. I kind of got put in a place where I was writing, like poetry, where, and it was about someone.

Mm-hmm.

and someone came, you know, she came back to me and was like, hey, you know, you don't know the whole story. And I was like, you're right. And I was looking at it through my own lens. I wasn't quite gossiping, but I guess when they ended up reading this, then it came back on it. So I was kind of gossiping to myself. But I can see how quickly.

You know, you can turn something into a story that you really want to hear. And I think that's what gossip is.

Mm-hmm. I remember I've been over the years. I've taken quite a bit of Crap for a gossip like I remember my cousin came to me a few years ago and she's like teen I really need to go out to dinner with you and I'm like, okay, let's go We went out to dinner. She starts crying and I'm like, what's wrong? You know what happened and she told me that her grandmother my aunt is spreading a rumor that

that I was a lesbian and I was leaving my ex because of that and he was having some sort of twisted affair with another family member of mine, which I don't want to say because it was just it was too brutal. And I don't talk to the other person that they named as the one that then that he had gotten her pregnant. And that's why I was leaving him also. And my cousin was crying. She felt so bad for me because that's not the way my ex acted. That wasn't the way

Even so.

that I acted and she wanted to protect me because she grew up in our house. She was always here and I started laughing because I'd been through so much and she goes, why aren't you mad? And I said, are you kidding? This is the first time I haven't been the worst one in the gossip. I'm kind of I've stepped up a little bit. I'm not okay. I'm just a lesbian. But what they're saying about these two, that's way worse. And yeah, I was just kind of like, oh, okay.

Right. Yeah, you were just a secondary character.

Makes sense why I would leave if I'm a lesbian and he's doing these things, you know? So, right? But or like, I remember when my mom was real sick, it was, it was the year that, was it the year? It was a year before she passed away. She was in the hospital and she, the lights were on, but nobody was home. She was so out of her mind. She was a mess. And

Right, right, right. Yeah, exactly. You're like, wait a second, that kind of makes sense. Right.

So we were staying at the hospital with her, my dad and I. And I remember, I never really called my former best friend for help for anything. It was, I just didn't do that. I don't call very many people when I need help. I suffer in silence, like you say, and I do what I gotta do and that's that. But this one time, because the doctor had come in and said, you need to get your mom's affairs in order. She's probably not gonna make it out of this.

Mm-hmm.

I reached out and I called her and I said, Hey, I need you. This is what's going on and I can't keep my shit together. She said, Okay, I'll be there in an hour. She texts me a little bit later and she tells me what a piece of shit I am and how dare I you know, put any of my mom's stuff out on blast and how could I be such a shitty person? And then she unbeknownst to me, she went on Facebook and kind of

another friend of mine, which I don't know why I call them friends because they clearly weren't, had posted some really like the worst of the worst things that I've ever done which weren't really that bad looking back. I'm like shit that's all I did. I why was I worried about it back then, you know? But they had made they had taken all of my little secrets of growing up and telling my best friends and put them on Facebook. Now here I'm dealing with my mom's mortality at the moment and

Right.

my uncle and his stepdaughter saw what they put on and just went at him. Well, my family got on board thankfully, because they're they'll go after me on their own, but they're not going to let anybody else. So it ended up they had to delete like, I want to say it was something and I could be wrong, like 80 something people off of their social media, because they were my people. Yeah, they were they were my people. And

Right, right.

And I didn't even get to see what all was said, but my uncle, who I'm very close to, he said it was really bad, teen, and you don't wanna know what they put on. Just know that you don't need to be hurt like that ever, let alone right now, and we took care of it. They deleted it, they got it off of their social media, and they also got rid of all of us. So I remember feeling though, like I'm one person that pretty much will tell anybody anything if they wanna know.

Right.

But I'm going to give them like, I'll tell them why I did it. I'll tell them that I may not have been happy with myself. I'll even tell them that I was happy with myself. I'll own it. I'm not afraid to do that, but, um, but what they did was like underhanded and it was, it was gossip and they should have kept their mouth shut. And it wasn't exactly the way that I represented myself to them. So it became a very nasty situation to the point where that was when I was like 40 years old.

Mm-hmm. Right.

39, 40 years old and I to this day won't talk to them. I will never speak to them again. And I know people say never say never, but I'm on a good run. It's like 13 years, almost 14 years. It's not gonna happen. But I remember the feeling of being betrayed. Like you can't tell anybody when you're suffering alone. You can't reach out and say anything. Like I know secrets about you and you'll never hear me repeat them. Like.

yeah you're alright now

Right.

And as a matter of fact, I encouraged you to be that person. I did. And I don't understand why people would judge that. I figure, you know what? The more that we do that's not correct in other people's eyes isn't normally the best lesson we could get. And so gossiping to me, like making somebody look bad, for what reason, I don't know. It doesn't make you look good being a gossiper. It doesn't make you look good at all.

Right.

As a matter of fact, it should turn on you, you know, where you thought it made the other person look bad, but look at you, because you're, you know, you're a shady character that would be like that. I don't know, I am. It was also in a situation where with my other friends that, you know, there, I got in the middle of something that I shouldn't even have been in. And that was just for giving my opinion. She was asking me like, how do you, what do you think about this or what did that? And I said whatever it was I said.

Mm-hmm.

Then when she got confronted, you know, then her, she tried to back out of it and she told her fiance stuff that I had supposedly said. And again, I don't remember things verbatim. I will tell you the truth as how as how I see it. And when it came back, he was like, you said this and you said that. And I was thinking to myself, no, I don't think I said it like that. But how do you say?

I don't think I said it like that if you don't know exactly what was said and you want to come back at somebody. So I find that for me, gossip doesn't work because I can't I can't defend myself in it. You know, I just have to let it go and move on. And I don't know, I just I'm at the point where I don't care. Say whatever you want to about me, say whatever you want to about yourself, say whatever the hell you want to. But don't put me in the middle of it. Backup your own actions.

own your shit. Just like I have, I've always had to own my shit. And trust me, I've taken some serious drama over my life over stupid shit that I did. That's what growing up is. I don't think anybody's gone without that. But at the end of the day, I'll stand by what I do because I don't think I do things malicious maliciously or to ruin people's reputations or their friendships.

Right.

But if you want to call a spade a spade, I'm right there. You know, let's do that. Well, let's talk this out because I don't like to gossip. I'll say what happened right in front of your face. Just like, I will tell you what I did right in, you know, right in front of anybody. I don't, I don't worry about who's listening anymore. I'm like, you want to know? Sorry, but this is who I am.

Ha ha ha!

Mm-hmm.

I mean, I totally agree with that. Sometimes I like to own things. People will go, so I heard you said this, I was like, oh yeah, I did. No, I mean, not even and, like, oh yes, I totally said that because that guy's a fucking asshole and I have no problem with that. It's funny though how you live in a world of gossip.

Oh me too! Ho ho ho.

And yeah. Yes.

You know, obviously I was a wrestler for 20 years, and locker rooms are very, very gossipy because so many people in the same community will work different shows all over the place. And of course, you'll always run into some of the boys or girls that you know, right? Like, you'll be around. Well, I always used to have girls walk me into the ring.

Mm-hmm.

Okay.

I remember.

And I generally they were my friends right because they And I got shit because they weren't in the business like they weren't trained Because I always thought that girls who didn't know the business would listen And and People really didn't like when I said that shit either they were like, oh I was like really because when I tell her what to fucking Do she's always there for me if I people who are in the business are always trying to get themselves over so

Right?

Exactly.

out of nowhere one time someone's like oh yeah i heard you were like nailing all those girls that were walking you to the ring and i was like no i said they're all my friends yeah they were either my friends or my ex-wife so that she was the only one i slept with and yeah and they were like literally friends of mine and

I wish.

Mm-hmm.

right. No, I could attest to that because we used to talk about all of them and

Mm-hmm.

The reason I had so many is that it was so hard to get one girl to like always be able to work a show So I was just like hey, I need this one. I need her and then blah blah, but I would But but here's the thing like yeah, I found out later like I was known for that they were like, oh yeah like it was a

Plus it just made you look cooler. It did. You know, these women.

Like a big gossipy thing like oh I was you know sleeping with yeah sleeping with all these girls And the funny part is like maybe in the beginning of my career It I was single but like for For I mean eight years of it. I was married. I literally went to a show worked got in my car with my

Really? Hmm.

ex-wife, my son, and my daughters went home. So it was like, I actually giggled the first time. And then the second thing, I was, I, you know, I did photography and I shot lots of girls and lots of friends. Out of nowhere, someone posted on a Facebook page that I had assaulted somebody.

No.

Yeah, they're like, oh, you rape this girl. And and the funny thing is, is how I kind of knew it was funny. They're like, you wanted sexual favors to take pictures. I was like, look, the funny thing is, is that it's humorous because I had girls always asking me if I would shoot them. The second part was they're like, hey, and I'll use his name because he's a fucking shitbag anyway. They're like, oh, and you and you protected your friend Jim.

from, you know, and you knew he did this. And I remember posting back, cause I kept the post, I have a screenshot of it. And I remember going back, I go, well your story ends there because if you knew me and how I felt about Jim, I had thoughts about putting a pillow over his head cause he was my roommate. And like literally I wanted to murder him. It came down to with my ex roommate, I had told her either he fucking leaves or I do.

and I stayed there for many more years after that. But I was like, you know, sometimes the gossip that comes across is, it's gonna be there and you just have to be able to either defend yourself or laugh it off. Because it, you know, it's not real or, it's no different than someone, you know, coming out and going, you know, she's a whore. It's like, okay.

Mm-hmm.

Oh, I got that too, for sure.

I mean, and I see it still like to this day or they're a narcissist. It's like, okay, okay. Um, let's go down the line of why you think that, like, I would love to get, uh, cause I heard, um, my friend down the street goes, you know, this, someone told me I was a narcissist and for a second I went, uh, I don't, I don't get it. Like

I guess maybe how my definition of narcissism is. I go, you're not really a narcissist. I mean, we all kind of are. Like if you're not caring about yourself, that's a huge problem. And this person that got called a narcissist cares more about everyone else than she's ever cared about herself. And I found it kind of humorous, but people like to throw words when they're mad. And I think...

Mm-hmm.

Yes.

And labels like, are you a doctor? Did you diagnose this person like that? Then shut the fuck up because I'm so tired of everybody's a narcissist. Anybody that's ever heard she was a narcissist. Anybody that's ever not agreed with you as a narcissist. I'm so over that I guess I'm a narcissist too.

Yeah

Right. And I think, look, the clinical definition is a whole other thing. And we all have a little bit of narcissism. And look, I know guys, right, but I know guys who are like, super narcissistic, like, think they're God's gift to women. And I think that's when I think of a narcissist, I think of that person. It's just, it's always me, they're always looking in the mirror. It's about, you know, the next conqueror.

and need it to live in this world.

You know, whatever and like girls can be narcissistic They can be the ones who i'm beautiful and everyone else isn't blah But this person in particular, I almost like fell out of my seat giggling. I was like you're that you're nowhere near that Um, and she does care more about people around her

Mm-hmm.

than herself. And there's a million stories I could tell you about that, but that's part of the problem. But we're all labeled. And look, I knew lots of girls who got labeled a whore, lots of them. And I was like, maybe you don't know them that well. Because, or, and I knew these were people that were very close to me. And I was like, no. And they're like, yeah. And I go, you know, I go, she's dating one person.

Mm-hmm.

Right?

No.

How is she a whore? Well, she used to do this, this and this. Okay, you stas are a whole other thing. We've all done shit in the past. Don't gossip about my past when it's the past.

And when does horror just become like, you know, we're 52 years old now. You've been single for a lot of years. I was single. I didn't get married when I was really young. Like we both had lives. We both did things like when, when do you stop being labeled as such and just like, well, that's one of the people that, you know, I love back when, when does it, like, is it, is it always going to be your label to horror because you've slept with more than one person or how does that actually

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

equate. That's what I want to know. Because when people say that about me, I'm like, I make jokes about it when people go, Oh, you whore. And I'm like, I'm not slutty. I'm popular. I, I don't, I don't deny it. I don't defend it. I just make another joke because I don't even know what constitute a whore anyway, to be honest with you. I mean, I'm not, I'm not getting paid for sex. I don't have anybody.

I don't know.

Uh-uh.

Mm-hmm.

You know, I don't have a line at the door for sex. I mean, sometimes I think that would be kind of fun. Does that because I thought it thinks does that make me one? I don't know. Yeah, like what I meant to for.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah, would that be a mental horror?

Yeah, you know what I mean? I don't know. Well, that was impressively country. Ha ha. So yeah, like I don't know. I think there's a lot to be said about gossiping and rumors or, because they kind of walk hand in hand, right? Generally gossiping is talking about something that you've heard and you don't even know is true. Or.

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Yes.

Gossiping within the family is knowing something's true and going around the people to tell People outside of that circle. It's like, you know, I'm gonna Yeah

Yes, my grandmother was good for that. She was she used to take me as a little kid around to like my cousin's house or my aunt's house or whomever. And they spilled the tea like they talked about every freaking person in the family that they knew anything about, made it bigger than it needed to be. And then you were like, wow, they're really judging these people. And it wasn't really like that. But was it fun to sit and listen to? Absolutely.

Oh yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Of course. Yeah.

Did I enjoy when I wasn't a part of that discussion? You know, I did because, you know, like I said, when my aunt said that I was a lesbian and that I was leaving my ex because of what he was doing, I was like, damn, these people are heartless. But I did learn from that, that family is who you learn your lessons from.

Yes.

They're not who's gonna treat you the best. That's never gonna be the case. I mean, hopefully if you're lucky, you have people in your family that got your bag 100 and I do, I have some amazing people in my life. But just as amazing as I have people in my life that are part of my family, I have the other shitbags that wanna talk and say stupid shit all the time. And I'm like, really? You have nothing better to do than talk about me? Let me give you something to talk about.

Oh, for sure.

all the time.

Yeah, exactly.

I've got a lot. Where would you like to start on this? Because I'd like you to say something true. So at least I go down being the crazy bitch that I am, not the one that I kind of wish that I could be or wish that like, I wish the stories were better, but sorry, this is what you get, you know?

It's when you hear something about you and then you wanna step in and be like, hey, let me tell you the truth now. Let me give you a good one. Because it's nonsense. And that's the problem. And like I said, it's just for their gain. It's for people's gain.

Yeah.

It is. It's nonsense. It is. But it's yeah. I'm grateful, though, that I've always kind of been the black sheep and I've always been talked about behind my back in my family. And so with that, I have a really thick skin now. And I'm like, really, you're going to talk about that. Let me give you something real to talk about. Let me if you want to talk about me, this is the dumb shit I did today. Can we you want to talk about that? Like pick it apart.

I'll own it because it's true. But this other stuff is like, really? You got nothing better to do with your time? I and as a friend doing that, I was like, you're never going to find a friend better than me because your karma is fucked because of how you just treated me. And I always went out of my way to help you. And not wanting to be perfect. I never wanted to be perfect. I tried for everybody else.

Mm-hmm.

Great.

But if you want to know the truth, I still was Tina and Tina is not perfect, nor does she want to be. I want to make mistakes because I want to learn while I'm here and I want to, I want to have stories and I want to be the one that says, yeah, that was a bad idea. But I did it. It was a freaking amazing time, you know.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah, I think the problem with most gossiping is that it stretches the truth or it's an outright lie. And those are the bigger things. If you're telling the truth about me, like we said, we generally own it. And I have no problem. I've done some shitty things that I shouldn't have.

I've done some good things that I probably shouldn't have. And I've probably heard about both of those. Like, I can't believe you gave this person money. It's like, ugh, okay. Well, whatever. I did it because of this, because, you know.

And it's none of your damn business, it's my money.

Yeah, and well, and I think that's about everything. It's like, you know, I was in a situationship with somebody and

I people were questioned me on it like, you know, why did you do that? It's like Look, yeah or because you fall for people or you have feelings for people and shit happens and you find yourself in a predicament that That a lot of people are going to gossip about but I'll damn well own it and I have no problem owning it in front of the people who are close to it and They don't want to they don't like that people

Why not?

Mm-hmm.

when you start going, yep, did it, and I'm not sorry, it happened. Yeah, only because I think that it's the right thing to do. It's like, yeah, I know you don't like what I did, but that doesn't mean that my feelings are any less, or you have the right to say I'm a shitbag. It's like, it happened, and if you think I'm a shitbag, more power to you, because.

I love doing that.

If you think I'm a shitbag, then get the fuck away from me. Do that, talk to me behind my back or I don't have to be nice to your face. That would be nice. Ahem.

Yeah, oh, mostly.

Mostly if they're family and or so-called friends, but I just think anyone in general it's like look i'll own it I did it. Yeah happened You know this happened that happened and you know, we do our best not to um Get in deep with things of any nature

So, you know, to really slam people for it. I mean, look, my mom and my aunts used to get together when we had barbecues and they'd, you know, sit at the kitchen table, you know, talking shit about other people. And it was gossipy, but I think it was, it was more like, like my mom would lead with, oh, this girl at work. So it wasn't like my aunts knew her.

everybody.

Mm-hmm.

So it wasn't something that was gonna be detrimental to the family, you know, because it wasn't like that. It was more like, I can't believe this girl at work, she was doing this, and I saw this guy at the supermarket and he was wearing this jacket. So it was like, was it gossiping? Yeah, but like nothing to the point where it would hurt anyone in the circle of the family or friends. It's when that happens, I think, that gossip is just the worst, because it's being used as a weapon.

And when you use gossip as a weapon, it comes back at you. And...

Mm-hmm.

Or you end up hearing the real truth and you really never wanted to hear the real truth And and I that's what I like to do. I like to throw the real truth and go. Oh, okay So this is what you thought I did. Let me tell you what really fucking happened so And and go I tell you what you can you can ask this and this person as well Because this is this is the truth and i'll own that shit because I don't care

really happened.

I used to do that to my mom when my friends or supposed friends would say something to her and I would just I would just go that's not what happened but it gets better. Let me tell you what really did and my mom would be like I think I would rather know what the other person said. I'm like then quit freaking talking to them so that you have to question me with anything. Like doesn't it make sense to stay if you don't want to know don't listen to the bullshit that comes out of their mouths. How hard is that?

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm, yeah, for sure. And it's not, and I think we all get put into that trap though, right? You hear something juicy and you're like, ooh. And look, we're all guilty. We're all guilty. And like I said, I...

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Well, depending on how you look at a situation, we are all guilty. Everybody is going to put it. You could put it in a way that will make you guilty. But if the people that are judging you that are close to you are doing that, like, are they really your people? I don't think so.

Yeah.

Right. I did my best in wrestling locker rooms when people started talking shit. I went to just tie my boots up. I don't want to get involved in this shit because it's not going to be good for anyone involved. And then it just makes you look shitty. And my thing is I just want to stay out of people's business. You know, I have enough problems.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

When i'm doing shit i'm not supposed to so my own business fucks me up like I don't need to know What you know billy did last week at a show. I don't need to know that and you know They're very um High schooly wrestling locker rooms because you knew who had issues or

Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

or known for certain things. There was a guy who was, I mean, known for hitting on girls. Everyone knew it. And I had a girl work with me who was my boss's daughter. As soon as she got there, the first thing I did is I looked over and went, okay, see that guy right there? Don't talk to him. He's gonna try to hit on you. And at one point, not that I left her alone, but I left her with some of the guys that I know were very protective.

Because I could tell him, hey, when I leave, keep an eye on her. But even when I came back, she was like, yeah, you were right. I was like, yeah. It is what it is. And after that, there was way bigger issues later on in that guy's life. Like, no serious allegations. Like, bad, bad stuff. To the point where it's ruined his life.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Hmm

and he did come out and say that like he had a problem and he got therapy and um Found god. I mean and I think look good for him. Um Everything else, I mean No, uh police things were involved but things but things did come out but he was willing to take the people who accused him to court So, you know

Thank God.

Wow.

Look, he was willing to defend himself. So again, Here say neither here nor there whether he did it or not, you know, a lot of things come out, you know About people

And it seems like nobody's really right and nobody's really wrong. There's like this huge gray area that seems like everybody falls into. And so it's like, why are we even judging anybody? Because nobody was right in the situation.

Mm-hmm.

Right. Well, because you're usually judging on your feelings, right? If you're mad at somebody because they hurt you, right, for whatever reason, you're always going to see them as the bad guy. That's just the way we work as people. And look, I've probably pointed some fingers at people that I was like, yep, the bad guy. But then you hear it from the own people's mouths. Well, no, or the

Right?

the bad guy's point of view.

the person's point of view that sort of defends them. And then, you know, a little bit later, you're like, they're like, yeah, he's a piece of shit. It's like, yeah, he was. And you knew it. And it's, but other circumstances kept you in that relationship or kept you working for this promotion or kept, you know.

There's always something and that's why I do my best not to judge on people. It's like, look, we do things because we have to, but gossiping about that is not going to help the situation, mostly within family. It's, nothing helps that situation because someone's going to hear it that is neutral. And then when the person who's neutral hears it, then...

the words really start flying because they're going to shit on the person who said it. And the first thing they're going to do is call the other person and go, yep, you know, Billy Bob was talking shit about you at the bar yesterday down the street. And heaven forbid it's a small town. Then it's a whole other thing. Then you go to church on Sunday and everyone's like, and they're just, you know, it blows itself out of proportion where.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah, you know the Everyone saw billy down at the at the cornfield, you know with this guy's daughter when you know, he was really working and She was at church. It's like How did that get there and the telephone thing is absolutely horrible and look It's going to happen. It's never going to stop gossiping is what it is but I think we as people need to find a way to uh

Right?

Mm-hmm.

reel it in a tad, you know, and realize, yeah, and realize that it doesn't really help. It doesn't. It's just, it's a way of passing time.

Yes, absolutely. And not be such jackasses with each other.

Mm-hmm. I agree with that. And

And since when did we get on this... this, I don't know what you'd even call it, this parade of everybody has to be right. Like people make mistakes every day and they're supposed to. We don't learn from doing things right. We learn from making mistakes. So why are we being judged so harshly that we're not even able to make a mistake or do something that you may not think is the best thing to do.

Mm-hmm.

Like for instance, you know, I bought my trike and I've been on it and man, I've been called a lot of things that I am a lesbian now because I bought the trike that I, that I, um, that I'm trying to show off because I'm trying to prove something and, and you just a lot of weird shit. And I'm thinking to myself, I'm not trying to prove anything. I bought it to, to make my life better. I bought it because I needed something to make me happy. I bought it because

Therapies bullshit lately and the people that are that I've that I've tried to get help from were not people that were Even equipped to deal with me. So I was like, well instead of therapy, let's do something that makes you happy Let's find another way for you to be happy and if and if that's the wrong thing to be then good I'm glad I'm wrong. I'm cool with that. I own it. You know, I bought it. I own it. I'm gonna write it Does it

Does it change the person that I am? Say that I do decide to be a lesbian. Does that change who I really am? No, it just means you'll see me with women, not men. What really is the problem with that? What's the problem with wanting to be happy? What's the problem with making a change or initiating growth or just tired of doing what everybody wants to dictate you should do? If that's an issue, then...

Mm-hmm.

Keep talking about me. I don't give a shit. But if you want to believe that you're a dumbass, too

Well, I think you said it best right there though. The whole point is the people who are gossiping are the ones that don't want you to be happy, generally. Because the people who hear the story or aren't happy with the ending of the story, let's say.

I agree.

they're the ones that are going, I don't understand. It's like, I wanna be happy. And being happy is hard to fuck enough. Why do we need to have an excuse to be happy? If the people around you don't understand happiness or your happiness, then they just need to look from the sidelines and watch you ride by.

Yeah, it is.

But it makes me wonder, do they know what happy is? Because they should be going for it too.

Yeah, well look, I think a lot of us don't know what happiness is or what...

Hehehehe

I agree.

Or they don't want to take the risk to be happy. Yeah, it's like at least I own my bullshit. At least I'm taking an opportunity to be different, to be happy. To do... I don't want to do mainstream bullshit anymore. I'm a hairdresser. I make everybody look the same. I put on makeup to make everybody happy. Like I go through this. So for me, it's like I want to get...

Well, that's the bigger thing. That's, yeah.

taking the risk.

Yeah.

Just like my car. I want to get in my car and I want to go and I want to take a trip and I want to try new things and eat new foods and do new stuff. So I'm cool. It's okay to do that if I'm in my car, but it's not okay for me to do that if I'm on a Harley. Like, come on, you guys are dumb. And lately, because I've been taking this sort of flack, I'm kind of, I'm kind of owned, not kind of, I'm definitely owning it, which is actually pissing people off more.

Uh huh.

Because when they say, well, did you say that? I said, well, yeah, I kind of believe in that. And I'll tell you why. Now, what are you going to be mad at? I am who I am. And you know I have a mouth and I'm going to use it. So are you ready for that?

Right.

Now, yeah. Well, and I think that's with everybody. People don't want.

Mm-hmm.

They wanna be able to gossip, talk shit, and then you sit in a corner and go, yeah, you're right. It's like, no, it's like I'm doing what I'm doing because I want to. And if I change my mind again, it doesn't matter. You have to live with, look, if you're gonna have friends and family, they have to live within your life as well. And you're not gonna make everyone happy. Everyone's not going to be at the end of the day like, I'm so glad that he,

Okay, as I'm allowed to.

Mm-hmm.

ended up with her, it's not gonna, it's just not gonna happen. And...

Yeah, I hear that too. I'm like, well, I think that you deserve better or I think you need this, I think you need that. Well, let me tell you, I think you should quit worrying about what I'm doing. Let me make the mistakes I'm going to make, do whatever it is I need to do to learn whatever lessons coming my way. And I'll take the I'll take whatever the karma or whatever bitch slap or whatever happiness comes with it. And I'll be able to own that.

But I won't own it if it's your idea and it's something that you think that I need and it's something that you feel like, that's not why I do things. That's not why I do anything. You know, my dad said a long time ago, I quit trying to tell you what to do because you were on your own path and you have owned it. So be on your own path. I'll just sit back and watch. And I do believe that. Sit back and watch, put your feet up, grab some popcorn. It's gonna be a fun ride. Like, do that.

Yeah.

And quit worrying about me being perfect or special or important or right or any of those things. Because I'm not. Not always.

Right and everyone just needs to own their own shit And and you know be careful about gossiping and judging because it generally comes back on you And if you're the one pointing the finger saying I can't believe they're like this I guarantee you there's somebody right then talking about you going. I bet you they're just like this

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

I can't believe they're like that. Yeah, exactly.

Yeah, you know happy and again finding your happiness is hard enough Let's let's do our best not to push that narrative any worse You know

Yeah, do what you want to do, but don't judge everybody else. Just do and own your own shit. Just don't it. No, no need to even care. Just don't it.

Yep. That's it. And if the first person who goes, well, I don't understand, nah, doesn't matter. You don't you, you don't have to understand it. Yeah. And, and I've learned that over the last couple of years that, you know, look, you have to own your shit, people, other people will. And at the end, it'll all work out. It just will. And the things that you

not for you to understand. Live your own life.

that you don't think will, they generally do. Yeah.

They do. It all boils over and then it's over. You know, you clean up the mess and you move on and do something else that's stupid. Or if you're me, you do, because I got a lot of stupid shit that I want to do before I'm too old to do it. So, you know, stay tuned if you want something to talk about. I got something right around the corner.

Yeah.

Right, right.

All right. Well, we're going to knock it off at that. And you know, look, I think you've said it all gossip is what it is. It's gossip and nothing more. You you have to live your own life. Be happy. And and when the first person who says I don't understand why you did this, it's not for them anyway.

Don't buy into it though, just don't buy into it.

I would much rather them say, can I, I'm having a hard time understanding why you did that. Do you know, can you, can you kind of tell me what your thought process was? I'll be like, yeah, I got you. Let me tell you, are you ready to hear it though? Cause you may not like the answer.

Right?

Yeah, and I think that's the bigger one. People don't want to hear the answer because they already have it in their head that their answer's right. And generally, it's not. Ha ha ha.

Mm-hmm.

Absolutely.

Mm-hmm.

All right. Well, this is opinion show, so don't get it twisted. You coming back every Wednesday for our newest shows, get our social media up on the Facebook, Instagram and Twitter. And yeah, go check us out on all the podcasting formats. Apple, Spotify, Amazon, Google and a plethora of others. And yeah, check in with us. Anything else there, Miss Tina?

No, have a good week and we will, you'll hear from us again on Wednesday. Thank you for listening.

See you on Wednesday. Talk to you later.