In today’s episode, I share a personal experience that taught me a valuable lesson about not giving up, and not allowing the opinions, beliefs, and cruelty of others to pull you down. It’s a story about failing forward to success.
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If you want to learn more about what I teach around finding clarity and creating a life you love full of purpose, passion, and joy, I encourage you to join our community at Joyful Inspired Living. Here’s the link: http://www.joyfuljourney.ca/
About your host:
I’m your host, Anita Adams, an award-winning leader and the founder of Joyful Inspired Living, an organization dedicated to teaching people how to access their highest most authentic self so they can find clarity and create a life of purpose, passion, and joy. In addition to hosting the Joyful Journey Podcast, I offer retreats, both live and online, and private coaching programs to further guide my clients on their journey to their highest self.
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Welcome to the joyful journey podcast. If you're looking for more clarity in your life, clarity of purpose or how to activate that purpose, and you are someone who wants to operate from your highest self to be a force for good, you know this world craves, then this is the show for you. I'm Anita Adams, your host and guide to finding clarity and creating a life you love. Let's tap into our inner wisdom, access our highest self and unleash joy. As we do this, we raise our vibration and heightened the collective consciousness. And that my friend, is the joyful journey. Let's dive in. Hey, joyful journey are Anita Adams here, your host and today I want to talk to you about failing. Failure is something I taught my children to celebrate from a young age. Failure is a good thing I told them, it gives you strength and teaches you resilience. And when the time comes when something is really important to you, you won't give up so easily. This is a hard message to drive home though, because the world tells us a different story. The world celebrates success and sweeps failures, under the rug shamefully hiding them away. We need to embrace failure and this attitude of failing forward. If we are going to create a life we absolutely love. failure is inevitable at some point, if you want to create the best possible life for yourself. The trick is to learn from those failures and try again and again and again until you succeed or until a new path opens up for you. One of my favorite stories to illustrate this point is from when I was a young woman pursuing a modeling career. That was the dream back then I wanted to be a famous model doing the catwalk for big fashion shows, and having my image splashed across the pages of magazines around the world. I was doing a lot of fashion shows in Vancouver and was in a few designer catalogs it even got on a billboard once. But to go big, I understood that I needed to secure an agent in the US. So I set out to get a work visa for the states, which was relatively easy to do in the 90s. I chose to find an agent in San Francisco, which I figured would be easier to do than in the fashion mecca of New York City where everyone wanted to be. I researched the agencies in San Francisco and ended up scheduling interviews with the top three. I scheduled all three meetings on the same day with a gap of a 90 minute period between each. On the day of my interviews I set out from my hotel with a bounce in my step excited to meet these agents and find representation in this windy city. I was taking action and making my dreams a reality that felt empowering. It was a beautiful crisp September morning and I was full of bright hopes for my future. My first meeting was with an agent who insisted I meet her before anyone else that excited me too. She seemed so keen to meet me and I couldn't help wondering if being Canadian made me somehow more intriguing. When I arrived at her office, this agent was standing by a big bay window talking on the phone with her back to the door. She heard me entered, turned, gave me the once over with an assessing eye and then to turn back to the window and her conversation and proceeded to ignore me. There is no place for me to sit. So I stood there by the door waiting for what seemed like an eternity, feeling increasingly awkward. When her call finally ended. She slammed down the phone marched over to me and demanded to see my portfolio. She then flipped through the photos at lightning speed thrust the book back in my general direction. And as she turned and walked away set in a low cruel voice, you will never work in this city. I was momentarily stunned by this rude woman who didn't even have the decency to say hello. I collected myself quickly enough though, turned on my heels and was out the door before the tears could spring loose. Once on the street, I searched for a payphone booth. Remember those things? Where I could close the world out and call Tom, who at the time was my boyfriend of two years? As soon as Tom was on the other end As the waterworks began in earnest, he just listened and said kind soothing things. Eventually, I pulled myself together blog and my tear streaked face and decided to head back to the hotel to freshen up. I had an hour before my next meeting, I needed to get my game face back on. A half hour later, I had a freshly painted face and a new outfit. Maybe what I wore to the last meeting wasn't chic enough. I told myself and I was ready for my second interview of the day. This time, I walked into a plush office with velvety curtains hanging over the windows, and a big mahogany desk in the middle of a smallish room. Behind the Desk Set a tall man and a crisp white shirt, dark tie. He looked more like an accountant than an agent. He was pleasant enough, though, and he took his time looking through each photo in my portfolio. This was feeling all right. Then he got up from his desk, took my portfolio and slipped behind the door, the back of the room. As soon as he opened that door, I could tell that where the real business happened. I'm not even speaking to an agent. I thought I'm speaking to the gatekeeper. Barely a moment later, the accountant gatekeeper was back. He took his seat, gave me back my portfolio, politely folded his hands on the desk and said, Anita, you are pretty, but the women we represent here are beautiful. Another kick to the gut. I don't remember leaving that office. I just remember that I found myself in yet another pay phone booth shortly after sobbing once more to Tom. I had one more interview to go. Could I do it? I wondered, could I actually pull myself together and make it to that last interview? Palms encouraging words help. So I went back to my hotel, freshened up my makeup again, and got into my third outfit of the day. I needed to shed the ugliness of the last experience and redoing my makeup and changing my clothes seemed to help. I stood in my small hotel room and did a few power poses to if you are unfamiliar with the concept of Power Poses check out Amy Cuddy's TED talk on the subject. The talk is called your body language may shape who you are, you can find it on YouTube. I didn't know about Amy Cuddy back then. But I did understand that how you hold your body can shift your mindset. A victory pose for instance, with your feet shoulder width apart. As you stand tall, chin up and hands on your hips gives you a sense of personal power and a feeling of victory. This may be an artificial sense of victory, but it helps them the loss. After doing a few power poses and some deep breathing, I felt in control again and was ready to make my way to my final interview. This third office was a hub of activity. It appeared that there was an audition taking place on site as the waiting room was packed with tall, beautiful people all with their portfolios. Eventually, the agent I was to meet was he another gatekeeper came out. He shook my hand and then pointed to empty seats in the corner. All right, I guess we're having this meeting right here. I thought graciously. This agent took his time going through my portfolio. When he was done flipping through the pages he asked me to show him my runway walk. What right here right right now. Oh my god. Oh my god. He's serious. Oh, right. up I got and I started my stuff pretending that all the onlookers in the waiting room and they were all looking. Were an adoring audience at a glamorous fashion show. After a few passes and hip swaying turns, the agent nodded once
