Anger management

How to deal with your anger and other people's anger.

EP-13-season-7-20-202022-06-06-207-26-20PM

Summary

• Managing anger and emotional growth. 0:07
• Aurora offers coaching on anger management and emotional growth.
• Managing anger and frustration in a constructive way. 1:35
• Speaker shares personal experience with managing anger through active listening, highlighting the importance of empathy in resolving conflicts.
• Using active listening to diffuse anger. 4:30
• When a person is willing to listen and show interest in understanding, anger can dissolve.
• Managing anger in relationships. 5:42
• Speaker 1 suggests using a sentence to stop escalating anger, such as "Hey, I feel misunderstood. Is it your intention to attack me?" (28 words)
• Speaker 1 encourages exploring why someone is behaving in a way that frustrates them, rather than assuming they are intentionally upsetting them (27 words)
• Managing anger and vulnerability in relationships. 8:50
• Speaker discusses anger management, suggesting that those experiencing anger should express how they feel and seek counseling if necessary, while also setting boundaries and communicating needs clearly.
• Listener shares personal experiences with anger, inviting others to do the same and offering coaching services for those seeking an upgrade in their lives.

Anger is a strong emotion and is strongly anchored in the human experience.

I have never met a person that did not feel anger or frustration at some point in their life. Some people know how to really gracefully navigate these difficult feelings and others just lash out, become really unpleasant or even violent.

In this episode you will learn

1. how to befriend angry feelings and how to communicate to other people how you really feel.
2. You will also learn how to deal with an angry person in your life and how to help them dissolve anger.

In this episode and many other episodes I touch on topics that I usually work on with my clients. Here in my podcast it will be targeted to a broad spectrum of people. If you'd like to go more into depth with a topic I address, reach out to me.

with love and much respect

Aurora

If you love what you learned, be sure to hit that follow button so you never miss a future episode, and make sure to leave a review to help me reach more listeners just like you looking to follow their inner truth. 

Find the episode that suits your mood best here: 

https://the-borealis-experience.captivate.fm 

Support the advertise free show and Social Links 

Want to ‘Buy me a coffee’ and send some appreciation my way?

Click link below:  

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/auroraborealis

Thank you !!!!

Give some love to the show and make it easier for people to find my podcast in leaving a review here

https://ratethispodcast.com/aurora

Book a free 60 mins meeting with me 

Just message me on:

https://auroraeggertcoaching.com/contact/

And join 

https://www.facebook.com/auroraeggertcoaching/  

Have a podcast episode topic request ?

If I am missing a topic. Please sent me a topic request 

#forwomen 

#formen

#newepisode 

#mentalhealth

@auroraeggertcoaching

This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis:

Podcorn - https://podcorn.com/privacy

Unknown: 00:00:07

Hello, hello and welcome to the Borealis

Unknown: 00:00:10

experience. I'm your host Aurora, life coach and companion

Unknown: 00:00:15

on this beautiful journey called life. If you feel like you need

Unknown: 00:00:20

support and handling stress if you want to be more resilient to

Unknown: 00:00:25

stress, if you want to feel more focused and organized,

Unknown: 00:00:30

productive, be it at your workplace as an entrepreneur or

Unknown: 00:00:36

employed person, be it as a mother, a father, a family

Unknown: 00:00:41

member, if you want to increase your attractiveness, and better

Unknown: 00:00:48

your relationships with the people around you, but maybe

Unknown: 00:00:52

especially the romantic relationships, don't hesitate to

Unknown: 00:00:56

reach out to me. And I will show you what I can offer as a coach

Unknown: 00:01:04

on how to support your growth and healing and expansion

Unknown: 00:01:11

journey. Today, I want to call this episode anger management. I

Unknown: 00:01:23

recorded an episode about anger quite some time ago, and I feel

Unknown: 00:01:30

we don't talk about this emotion enough. It is. It is an emotion

Unknown: 00:01:38

that is just anchored into our system. It is part of the human

Unknown: 00:01:45

experience. And I feel if we know this, if we can't escape

Unknown: 00:01:50

frustration and anger, then we can also ask ourselves, okay,

Unknown: 00:01:56

well, how can we handle anger and frustration more gracefully,

Unknown: 00:02:05

more in alignment with our true nature, how can we use that

Unknown: 00:02:13

energy, so to say, to create something new, to maybe not

Unknown: 00:02:22

destroy, but to build. And now you can say, while Aurora anger

Unknown: 00:02:30

is always negative, anger is always counter productive when

Unknown: 00:02:37

it comes to building relationships and being close to

Unknown: 00:02:40

one another. But I see it differently. I learned that if I

Unknown: 00:02:48

managed to express my anger in a way, that my counterpart, the

Unknown: 00:02:55

person standing in front of me, wants to listen to them, then

Unknown: 00:03:02

that huge buildup of anger and resentment inside of me

Unknown: 00:03:08

dissolves. Because I give the person the possibility to

Unknown: 00:03:14

understand me and then they come back to me or react, respond in

Unknown: 00:03:20

a way that makes me calm down right away. I can only talk

Unknown: 00:03:27

about my experience. And I have a couple of clients who talk

Unknown: 00:03:32

about their experience. I'm not going to name my clients here,

Unknown: 00:03:38

but I'm okay to share a couple stories. So one as a child, a

Unknown: 00:03:44

teenager, and he's a good student, he loves to go to

Unknown: 00:03:50

school. But he gets bullies at times he gets bullied and yeah,

Unknown: 00:04:00

is being treated unfair. This little boy comes home and then

Unknown: 00:04:06

lashes out at his siblings takes it out on the Pats and at the

Unknown: 00:04:11

mother. And it's a tricky situation because you don't

Unknown: 00:04:16

really know what's happening in this youngsters, Brain and Mind.

Unknown: 00:04:23

So we don't really know what's happening at the source, because

Unknown: 00:04:27

he's not really opening up about it. But what I explored with the

Unknown: 00:04:32

mom is that once we show that we are willing to listen, once we

Unknown: 00:04:42

express that, hey, you are being very angry right now you're

Unknown: 00:04:46

being very frustrated. I want to help you I want to listen to

Unknown: 00:04:51

you. I want to understand you. But I need you to come down for

Unknown: 00:04:57

me It changes the whole situation, it helps me to

Unknown: 00:05:03

channel my anger out. And this mother will try this with her

Unknown: 00:05:07

teenage boy here soon.

Unknown: 00:05:11

So, I know for myself that once a person is willing to listen,

Unknown: 00:05:18

once a person shows interest in hearing me out, my anger

Unknown: 00:05:24

dissolves right away, there can be an apology involved, they can

Unknown: 00:05:31

be just a genuine, hey, I misunderstood you involved, or

Unknown: 00:05:36

there can be, hey, I feel we are on different pages. So I'm

Unknown: 00:05:44

curious to know, if you are on the receiving end of anger, or

Unknown: 00:05:49

if you are the angry person in your relationships, and how you

Unknown: 00:05:54

deal with that strong emotion, it is not possible to suppress

Unknown: 00:05:59

it, you can suppress it for some time. But it will find its way

Unknown: 00:06:06

out at some point. And you might be treating people unfairly,

Unknown: 00:06:13

that don't deserve to be treated with with your frustration and

Unknown: 00:06:16

anger, right, it might have just been bottled up inside of you,

Unknown: 00:06:21

and then you let it all out. And it's usually the wrong person

Unknown: 00:06:24

you let it all out on. So if you are, let's call it the angry

Unknown: 00:06:32

person, I want you to explore next time you feel triggered

Unknown: 00:06:36

next time you feel the anger coming up, that you have a

Unknown: 00:06:43

sentence ready in order to stop this process to worsen. And what

Unknown: 00:06:52

I mean by that is a simple sentence. If another person is

Unknown: 00:06:56

involved, like, Hey, I feel you do not understand me. Let me put

Unknown: 00:07:06

it in different words. I feel attacked. Is it your intention

Unknown: 00:07:14

that you want to attack me? And if yes, why? If no, please, can

Unknown: 00:07:18

you rephrase your sentence. So to have a sentence ready, and

Unknown: 00:07:26

then also give the other person the benefit of the doubt. So to

Unknown: 00:07:31

not make assumptions that everybody is after you to upset

Unknown: 00:07:34

you and to make you angry? But to ask this is how I feel right

Unknown: 00:07:41

now? Is this your intention? And if it is not, can we talk about

Unknown: 00:07:47

it, but because it really makes me feel uncomfortable? I feel

Unknown: 00:07:52

frustrated when you behave this way? Can you explain to me why

Unknown: 00:07:58

you behave this way? And can we explore why it frustrates me and

Unknown: 00:08:04

can we leave it behind at some point. So you see, we have this

Unknown: 00:08:13

this thoughts and feelings around anger that it's a bad

Unknown: 00:08:17

thing. And we shouldn't get angry, we'll always have to be

Unknown: 00:08:19

nice. We have to be friendly. And we have to be kind to

Unknown: 00:08:24

everybody who even piss us off. But that is not the truth.

Unknown: 00:08:29

That's not how you can live because this is not authentic,

Unknown: 00:08:33

loving, authentic loving, is when you are able to communicate

Unknown: 00:08:38

how you feel without the other person wanting to run away from

Unknown: 00:08:44

you or shut down. And this usually happens when you become

Unknown: 00:08:48

aggressive when you become loud. When you get in yeah and unfair

Unknown: 00:08:55

game behavior that people simply don't want to engage in. And it

Unknown: 00:09:01

is your trigger. It is inside of us that this energy arises and

Unknown: 00:09:06

you just got to own it, and express how you feel and it will

Unknown: 00:09:12

work wonders. Now if you are on the receiving end of anger if

Unknown: 00:09:19

you live with a person who's angry on a regular basis, of

Unknown: 00:09:24

course, if it's too intense if you're scared for your life, if

Unknown: 00:09:27

you feel threatened, physically, emotionally, mentally, you guys

Unknown: 00:09:33

have to seek out counseling, see a psychologist and really

Unknown: 00:09:38

address it at the root cause. But if it's just that you notice

Unknown: 00:09:46

that your husband or your child or your wife comes home in a

Unknown: 00:09:50

certain mood and then feels like they have to lash out on you.

Unknown: 00:09:54

They have to you know dump it all on you then Feel free to

Unknown: 00:10:01

express Hey, when you are

Unknown: 00:10:06

that upset when you feel triggered by me and I'm not even

Unknown: 00:10:12

doing anything, you're just bringing the stress that you

Unknown: 00:10:15

accumulated at work home. I'm having a hard time to stay open

Unknown: 00:10:21

and interested and close to you, I just want to run away. Here's

Unknown: 00:10:26

the thing though. I want to listen to you, I want to

Unknown: 00:10:28

understand you, I want to support you. And I feel if you

Unknown: 00:10:36

say that you help the person so anomalously to drop from anger

Unknown: 00:10:45

right into empowerment, but also vulnerability. You put the ball

Unknown: 00:10:54

back into their court. At the same time, he says you're ready

Unknown: 00:10:59

to listen, you're ready to receive but you clearly

Unknown: 00:11:03

communicate how you want to be communicated with and that will

Unknown: 00:11:10

earn you so much respect. Try it out. Share with me. share with

Unknown: 00:11:18

me what your experiences with anger, be it you being angry or

Unknown: 00:11:23

other people by being upset with you or life. And I'm curious to

Unknown: 00:11:28

hear about your story. Your relation with Edgar. Thank you

Unknown: 00:11:33

so much for being here. And so grateful for every listener who

Unknown: 00:11:38

joined welcome here. Always feel free to shoot me a message on

Unknown: 00:11:43

Aurora Eggert coaching or simply Aurora Eggert on Facebook and if

Unknown: 00:11:48

you have any requests when it comes to podcast episodes, don't

Unknown: 00:11:54

hesitate. And if you feel that you're ready for an upgrade of

Unknown: 00:11:59

your life. Send me a message regarding coaching. I'll leave

Unknown: 00:12:05

you on that and wish you a wonderful rest of your day. Bye