What does it truly mean to embrace life's invitations and embark on a transformative journey? In this thought-provoking episode, join this interview with Kellan Fluckiger as they explore the depths of personal transformation and the remarkable power of embracing life's invitations.

Listen as Cordelia and Kellan explore the essence of creating an ultimate life and how it requires being fully present and intentional in every moment. This episode serves as a reminder that no matter the circumstances, we all have the power to create our ultimate life and make a lasting impact on ourselves and those around us.

About the Guest:

50 Million people. That is my commitment this year. An entrepreneur with 18 books, (10 Amazon bestsellers,) 85 songs on Spotify and three times #1 on Billboard. Sounds impressive. 

The backstory is a battlefield through depression, addiction and a near-death experience. With 30 years C-suite experience and now 15 years as a coach, speaker and author, Kellan’s only purpose is to help people discover and serve with their divine gifts.

After all the drama, the real gold is in serving with the gifts you have and being your authentic-to-the-core self. The stories we all need are those of struggle and victory. No one writes the ode to the quitter. 

With a 770+ episode podcast “Your Ultimate Life,” an LA TalkRadio Show by the same name, a TV show “Creatives Save the World,” and regular speaking engagement, I help entrepreneurs and messengers melt barriers, move mountains, and mobilize superpowers to rise up and create all they dream. 

About the Host:

Cordelia Gaffar is the Ultimate Joy Monger. That means that she holds space for you to reveal your joy within. Joy Mongering is a word she created from several life experiences and based on her philosophy that self-nurturing is freedom. In fact she has created a process she calls Replenish Me ™ to help you transmute fear, rage and anger into Joy. In one of her eight books, Detached Love: Transforming Your Heart Do That You Transform Your Mind, she breaks down the Replenish Me ™ process through her research, client stories and her personal vulnerable shares.

She is also the host of three host podcasts. She won Best Podcast Host for her solo show called Free to Be Show and collaborates as a co-host on Unlearning Labels and the Ultimate Coach Podcast. The multidimensional genius she is, is further demonstrated as the mother of six children whom I homeschooled for 17 years. In summary, she has won multiple awards: Best Podcast Host of 2019, Top National Influencer, Sexy Brilliant Leader, and inducted into the Global Library of Female Authors in 2020; and in 2021 nominated for Author of the Year and Health and Wellness Coach of the Year and in 2022 Master Coach of the Year and Orator of the Year. She has also won the Brainz Global 500 Award of Influencers and Entrepreneurs for 2021 and won BOOKS for PEACE 2022 award, CREA Award.

She has been featured on America Meditating Radio, British Muslim TV, Spirituality Podcast, Ultimate Coach Podcast, also featured on South African radio 786, and Fox News.

hello@cordeliagaffar.com

https://linktr.ee/cordeliagaffar

https://www.cordeliagaffar.com/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/cordelia-gaffar/

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Welcome to The Ultimate Coach Podcast conversations from being inspired by the book The Ultimate coach, written by Amy Hardison, and Alan Thompson. Join us each week with the intention of expanding your state of being, and your experience will be remarkable. Remember, this is a podcast about be. It is a podcast about you. To explore more deeply visit the ultimate Coach book.com. Now, enjoy today's conversation from be

Hello, and this is Cordelia ghafar. I'm happy to be here with Kellan Fluckiger For the Ultimate Coach Podcast, he is a coach who helps people to create your ultimate life. And you're also a great friend of Steve Hardison, is that correct? Yes, it is. So what's your experience of the book of

Being my experience with the book have being started about a year or so before it was published, Steve sent me an advanced copy as he did too many. And so I had a chance to read it a couple of different rounds and give him some thoughts about different stuff. I enjoyed it, the time I read it in manuscripts, I have read it several times since and it is on my desk, I'll have probably 30 or so books that I have, that are active at any given time. And I point over there because that's where the piles are three of them. And so my experience with it, I was, you know, I read a chapter and one of the different chapter readings. And I know there are several of those going on. So one of those I participated in my experiences that it contains just not only the stories, but an effort to recreate as much as possible in each individual, the sense of possibility. You know, Steve is always adamant about it not being about him, even though the stories are about him. And I understand that because I say that also, the people in the talk I just gave in Philadelphia 10 days ago, I said the same thing. I said, I'm gonna tell you some stories, some of them, have me in them. And a few of them have others in them, but they're really not about me or them for you to examine how these ideas and experiences might affect you. So I That book is a perfect example of that. And tells extraordinary stories of the fact that Steve's presence, and His love is choosing to see everyone with love and the impossibility as on people. Because most most of the time, people don't see each other that way. People are locked in the idea of what is either what is the problem in the situation for me, or what is the opportunity for me in the situation. But it is always focused on what they are going to get or give or be required from the situation. And it's funny, because just last Saturday, you and I were in Las Vegas. And we had missed our flight from Vegas to Edmonton and we went to the airline and they only fly on Saturday and Tuesday. So we were faced with the choice of buying a very, very last minute ticket at an exotic, extraordinary price, or waiting till Tuesday to fly on the airline that we had already a ticket on. We elected to do that. And the first question, as we sat there in the airport in Las Vegas, with the airline that had just flown us late from Phoenix to Vegas, which caused us to miss our flight. Having said we can't do anything for you. Our contract was simply to get you here we did. So have a nice day. We sat down we know where to go and no plan really. And we hadn't talked to our airline because they had a two hour wait. And I left the joy and laughter and I said okay, so what is the gift here? And you know, we approached it from that and last night after we are this morning at 130. When we drove from the airport to the house. I said to her I had this funny feeling. I said I feel like that extra three days in Las Vegas was like supposed to happen. I don't feel like there was anything wrong with this like this was how the trip was supposed to go. So the book allows everyone the opportunity to participate in themselves in an extraordinary way through the eyes of the stories.

Thank you for sharing that. I really love the way you You demonstrate it, what it is to read and experience the book of being through a recent lived experience of your own. I appreciate that.

Well, it was it was real. I mean, it we, when I when I was in Phoenix, I mentioned before he got on it. When we got there. We got there late Monday night, I think, or Tuesday morning, I can't remember. But I sent a no, I sent a text to Steve and said, You know, I don't know what you got going on. But Troy and I are in Phoenix. We used to live in Phoenix. We live in Edmonton now. But we lived in Phoenix for eight years from eight to 16. So we have a storage locker to post office box. And we get down there once a while to handle our USA stuff, bank accounts and all that jazz. So I just sent a text. DM said, Hey, I'm in town, I don't know. You want to create some time to be together or whatever. But about an hour later, he called me and he was laughing. And he said, you know how many people want to like, come and visit? And I said, probably. And he said, All right. The only night we have is tomorrow, which was Wednesday, X o'clock, and whatever. And then he called me at six o'clock Wednesday morning, and said, you're an early riser. Right? I said, Yeah, I've been up for a couple hours, and made an adjustment, whatever. But it was just funny. Yeah, to experience that as well. And it was just there, you know, opportunity. And being in the moment. And what what we talked about, interestingly enough, was me had already bought quite some time ago with a book that I wrote, meeting God at the door, which talks about dying and stuff. So really for about the first half. That was it. They wanted, they wanted to know about what happened. And so I spent time describing that experience in detail.

Oh, I love that. That's fun.

Well, Steve shook his head afterwards. And he said, You said you've seen stuff. Most people, whatever I you know, I didn't finish the sentence, but he meant hadn't seen or would never see or whatever, filling in words that were not fully formed in his mind. But it was interesting. And it was fun. And we enjoyed it. And it was all created from possibility. Just like the book, ah, urges us to do.

Yeah, you know, it's funny. From time to time, Steve will reach out and say, you know, Cordelia, he got an interview this person for the podcast. And so, you know, I reached out to you, I think the day or maybe two days later, you know, after he reached out and said, Do you know Kalin? And I was like I don't? He says he would be great to interview for the podcast. And I'm like, Okay, right. And so we had an exchange that day, which really was transformative for me. And so I'm just curious, as I'm listening to you talk about your experience of the book of being and you're using your own lived experiences. What is it that you create with who you're being, I could sit here and gush for about the next 45 minutes about what I experienced about who you're being but what kind of person do you have to be to create a company called your ultimate life and coach people on

that? Well, I have 30 years in 35 years, from age 17, to 52. So not age zero to 35, from 17 to 52, struggling with my own inner demons, depression, self sabotage, I was raised in an abusive structure that treated discipline today would be felony child abuse, kind of stuff, physical and some sexual stuff. And that left me feeling unworthy. And so I live that way. Never got any help. And in 2007, after 35 years when I was 52, i, which is coming up on August, it'll be 16 years. So I had an extraordinary experience, a divine intervention invitation. Single again, to the third time I was a $3,000 week cocaine addict. And I was also making so much money that none of that mattered. And so I we all receive divine nudges, interventions, pushes ideas, thoughts, sometimes they're soft, usually they're soft. Sometimes they're really noisy. I had attempted suicide two weeks before this particular thing happened. And so this one was really loud. And have talked about it before. It's written in the Book of tightrope of depression if someone wants all the details, but it caused me to We had everything that I was doing from a substance point of view. My wife Joy was miraculously brought into my life like literally flown in and dropped on the doorstep, almost. And not even knowing each other, both of us knew this was the right thing to do. And so we started a life together. Like literally in a few days, having so we sort of said, you know, this is kind of crazy. But we both know, this is the right thing to do. And I was literally at that point, like three weeks sober, okay, and she knew everything about everything. And she walked away from a career. And so time, we sort of said, Okay, if we're going to do this is right or die. Right, right. And here, we are coming up on 16 years later. And so with that kind of invitation, and divine nudges are always invitations, even when they're dramatic. So mine was quite dramatic. But it was still an invitation. So you make choices, when you have those invitations. And the choice that we made was to walk away from both the careers that we knew and start over, I made a choice at that time for the first time in my life to to be vulnerable to go talk to people and to see what I could do. Because up to then I believe that everything that was bad in my life was my fault. And I was the evil source of all things. So I chose to be vulnerable, joi was invincible in her support. And, you know, we spent the first three or four years getting to know each other, because we didn't, but that was okay. And, you know, we tried different things, but I knew a gift. And this goes to the gifts and talents in your ultimate life. A gift that I had that I had exercised mostly in music and mostly in community and church choirs, and bands and musicals and things was to help a group of people do things that were extraordinary by their own measure, sing in a cohesive, powerful unit as acquire or unit perform dramatic presentations in a way they didn't think they could. And I knew that I had that ability. And so and that's why I was so successful in my careers because I could do that. And I didn't know what I was doing. I just knew how to do stuff. So I decided I'm going to, I'm going to do that. And I figured out Gee, that must be coaching. And so I decided I was going to be a coach, whatever that meant. And I looked up some coaching things online and took a couple certification courses just because nobody ever asked about that stuff. But I did. And made a choice that from that time on I was going to be of service. And the more years to go by the more powerful and clear against your Ultimate Life is a definition. And it's something I claim not only for myself, but say with Invincible certainty that every person can live your ultimate life and because it's easy to say heady phrases like that I give it a definition. I say your ultimate life is a life, purpose, prosperity and joy. You create I serving with your gifts. And so I just got off a call before this with a with a client who's not active right now, but was, you know quite in a tizzy about some things. And the reason is because this individual has lost the connection to the truth of creating their own experience. And so the experience they have created is one of external forces and not knowing what to do and a bit of helplessness, and pointing at business partners and other things. When the truth is self creation would allow easily away through and as I listened to the description of franticness it was clear to me what needed to be done and what could happen now in a matter of days, you know, and then I had to end the call because I had another commitment which was this one, which is fine, and I'll send them a message later but the point is, you Cordelia Kellen, you mirror and you everybody else you have the ability to live a life that you love every minute, where when things happen, like you get stuck in Las Vegas for three days and I hate Las Vegas. I don't hate anybody there but literally walked down the street for half an hour I was assaulted. I felt overwhelmed with the sadness and the sorrow and the people clamoring for him. happiness outside themselves and stuff. And I just told you, I gotta, I gotta get out of here, I gotta go hide no hotel room, I got stuff to do. And this ain't it. And so we went out for dinner a couple times. But that was it. But anyway, you can create that life and purpose, prosperity and joy that you love every single day, if you want it. Yeah, nobody falls up the mountain. So you got to do the work. But you can have it. And so all that's happened in the 16 years coming on 16. Since August of 2007, is the clarity has gradually increased, their commitment has gradually increased, the volume has gradually increased. Until today, my commitment is to help 50 million people to discover their gifts and to serve with them. And that's just this year, and my year goes from October 14, October 14, because that's Joy's birthday. And so that's it. And that's all I do. Morning, tonight, first breath, the last, asleep or awake, I wake up with my document statements in my lips. The first thing I breathe, it's the last thing I do when I'm sitting by myself. You know, and I've seen things that most people haven't loving years after that other stuff happened, I died 2018 three conversations with God. And I realized that is unusual by anybody's standards. But it didn't change anything I elected to stay there, no choice was given to go or stay and I liked it to stay. Because I wasn't done yet. Not done to me means I got this year 50. And on halftime, April 14, I added up all the audiences of my own and everybody's podcasts I've been on. And we're already at 65 million. Wow. And so you said you're doubling down? Yeah. And I'm talking too much?

Not at all. Not at all. I wanted to hear all that I wanted the viewers and listeners of this to hear every word that you just shared with us. Because, you know, to answer a question like, Who do you have to be to create this type of life? And coaching for people? is a big answer, isn't it?

It isn't, it's just a choice. Like, yes, I had a divine intervention in 2007. Yes, I died and talk to God in 2018. But I tell you, there's nothing very interesting or special about me, I lived a horrific battlefield filled life for decades, there's no distance which you can fall to where there won't still be an invitation. The direction is more important than the velocity of your movement, you can turn around right this minute. And you can make incremental steps in the direction you want. And so building your ultimate life starts with a choice, which I made in August of 2007. When I quit 3000 bucks a week, go King cold turkey. And one day, I said I don't know what I'm gonna do. I don't know what it's going to take. I don't know who I have to be or where I have to go or who to talk to. But I'm done with that.

Yeah, it definitely is a choice. And it's, you know, going cold turkey is for something for anything. You know, I mean, cocaine is, of course, we've got a lot of chemical things going on there. But for anything, is is massive, and to choose to invest differently and better and your own life's force, you know, and life source is a miracle.

Yeah, then one of the things I love about Steve and the book, and what he says a lot is, you know, Gabby posts a miracle and the miracle in Peru and, and everybody talks about creating a miracle. And Steve talks about that. That's not fanciful conversation. So I don't know why. But maybe because I write books. I've written 18. But my personal truth and commitment documents, many pages, right, and it's got all kinds of different parts. And one of them is a piece that says seize the day, the secret to live in flow and cause miracles to appear. And then there's 12 parts to that. And that those 12 pieces is exactly and literally how I create every single day so I don't do those documents and put them over there to look at now and then they're woven into the fabric of my skin, my eyeballs my thoughts written with fire and steel on my heart. And when people write those things I asked them when the last time they read them what or if Ask them when you haven't memorized, or I asked them.

I want to ask you a question. Yeah. You know, I'm gonna interrupt because I know. I'm super curious, like, how did you create your document? Because as you say that I know people are creating their document out of reading the book of being. But um, since you already know, Steve, did you ever have a coaching relationship with him and create your document and the proper way?

No, I had worked on that before. I even knew Steve Hardison, so. So yeah, it was part of my own. Knowing that I needed some some declarations, and I heard it the first time I met Steve Hardison many years ago, was that a chance the Chandler mastermind, and he came to speak, he did that once in a while, and Chandler was running those. And He's now retired, but I was in him for several years. And I met Stephen Aimia, one of them and he recited his documented time. And I loved it, because I hadn't heard anyone do something, really, like I was had been working on. And so you know, his recitation and things certainly influenced my thinking and stuff. But my documents a living breathing thing, I mess with that all the time. And then I remember arise it and I explore it. And what I say with with document, how do you create it? You create it by getting first and this is really hard. You have to get rid of all the things you think you're supposed to be? And even if you think Yeah, but yeah, but yeah, but yeah, but I'm really supposed to be that. Okay, put it over here just for a minute. Just put it on a shelf for me, you're free to take it back. But just set it over there for a minute. And if you had no expectations, no pressures, nothing to do no obligations, nothing, you are in nothing. What calls to you? Who do you want to be? What is your heart ache to truthfully own as your beingness one of the ways I think about it is, you know, God created the universe, however you want to think of it created all of it. We were all given gifts and talents. That's all we came with naked with gifts. Okay, cool. What we choose to do with is all we're going to take home. That's it, nothing else, no titles, no money, no, whatever. None of that goes, what you have made out of yourself. And so there'll be no excuses, there'll be nothing to say who you are, will be transparent as glass. And so when I think about that, I used to scare the crap out of me because of how I lived my life before. But now it's a show exciting because then everything is about doing something and we're built to love and serve each other. That's how we're constructed spiritually, and physically, neurotransmitters and all the rest. So I can't even think of anything more fun to be working on. And for me, that turns into music, I write and sing and books I write and clients, I coach and conferences I speak at, you know, last week in Philadelphia and, and so that's all there is. And it's exciting. And out of that choice, the document word sort of moves out of you. And one piece of it, I had a client, who was also a marketing expert and a video, dude. And he looked at my stuff online, and he said, I think we can, you know, do something more powerful and present this benefit. Okay, you know, tell me what you're thinking. And so he did, and he hired some designer to do this. And they start where designers always start, let's start over about your color scheme. Well, my wife's a degree designer, and she'd done all that, but it's okay that that's what they want to think and feel. But in the interaction, I thought, you know, I need to write something that reflects both me and the person that I work with. Because the experience that people have with you and with me, we create in the moment. So I have words in my document, that that sound like you know, I enter every conversation empty and listening. I always remove ego and want and just exist as pure love encouraging inclusive and loving place to listen to you like you've never been heard and see you in your power and possibility. So anyway, I decided to write this document and it fell felt sort of like a medieval scroll a pronouncement thing, right. And so I titled it the scroll of truth and power. Yeah. And I wrote it and worked on it. And I wrote it in some fancy kind of script write two pages. And by the time I got done and refined at some, I can't read that without weeping and feeling invincibly connected to the truth of creation, and a possibility.

I love that. I love that it's a living document. I love that you're constantly in creation, and like you said, it oozes. It's like a river that flows through everything you do, right? It's the reflecting pool of who you're being with your clients, with your wife, with your friends, you know, and, and with your non friends, right, like when you go to the grocery store, when you're in a place you hate, like Las Vegas. So it's, it's such a beautiful template, you know, who you're being. And so I like, I like the way you shared that, you know, I think it just deepens the understanding that people have of what the document is, and how it helps you to create who you're being in every second and every breath, I say, in every breath, and every heartbeat, you know. And I resonate, clearly, right with your message, your ultimate life, because I adopted part of that word, ultimate in my, you know, my being so

well, I tell people, clients, if you're, if your document doesn't, when you when you read it or say it on purpose, it doesn't make you weep and write it again.

On purpose, that part that matters?

Well, you can mumble some words, that if you're not connected to it, and when you do, it doesn't like light fire in your heart make you weep write it again, because it sucks.

Because it wouldn't be for you, it would be for somebody else, or for what you think somebody else you are what you want other people to think of you, right, and we're moving into the realm, we're moving away from the realm of want, and into the realm of being and having, creating are doing all right. So

I had a weird experience. Once I was during the time, I was seeing a lot of counselors, one particular shrink, I saw he loves to do Holotropic breathwork, which is really, really, really fast, rhythmic breath work to some really exciting music, and you do it for a long time and you over flood your brain with oxygen and creates an altered state and all kinds of stuffs really interesting. So every time I go see and we talk about something for a while, and he'd say, that sounds like something good to take to the mat. So then I'd lay down on the floor. And for an hour or so I do this breath work. And one of the times in that situation I saw, I was having a conversation with a goddess of it was flat, like on a stained glass window with a headdress and stuff that reminded me of something that I imagined to have seen in either Hindu or, you know, that kind of thing. And I may be completely wrong. But that's what I thought it was. But anyway, we were having this conversation. And she said something to me. She said from the place of being the doing becomes trivial. And so when I got up from the session, the shrink always asked me so what did you learn? And so I always told him and stuff, we make some notes and see how it applied to what we had taken to the mat. And I said to him, Well, what I heard this lady telling me was from the place of being the doing becomes trivial. And he was sitting in his chair and he's been around and his head snapped and he said, Can I use that? Of course, and by trivial it doesn't mean unimportant it means simple.

Yes. And to be clear, you know, like simple is not a synonym for easy.

Never. Nobody falls up the mountain.

I love you saying that.

Nobody falls up the mountain you want to you want to get up there. You have to you have to climb sometimes crawl, sometimes bleed, sometimes pray sometimes wait. But if you want to get up there, wherever there is for you. You have to go there. Yes, but it's a

it's really not a destination though, is it?

It's a temporary destination like you might have goals and thoughts. If you're talking about

rephrase my question. My question is that, like, in your experience, right, it's not you you are you have arrived at where you are now. But have you really arrived anywhere? Right? You just are being?

Yeah, I'm not done arriving. I don't know that the day will ever come when I don't think of things that I want to do not because I'm unhappy with who I am being a rahmat. But because I see a possibility. And the question comes, I wonder what would happen if. And so then some of those resonate and you pursue them, and some don't? When you don't, and there's no drama about it either way, just decide what you're going to do. And you go be the be the energy, the essence, and the vessel that needs you need to be to make that happen.

I love that. I'm wondering, because I feel like your statement that you just said makes our whole conversation complete, right? And what what else would you like to put into the space?

Something I used to do? During my years of struggle is I would look outside at other people's circumstances. And I would say, you know, I'm sure, blah, blah, blah, is possible, a certain amount of money or certain amount of help, or a certain amount of connectedness or a certain amount of spirituality? I'm sure that's possible, because I'm seeing it. Right, but not for me, I just can't do that. And that was a truth that, for me was true. I created that truth, and believed it and therefore settled. I didn't think I was settling. I was accepting a truth that the things that I saw were possible, but not for me. Because and then any number of be causes. And sometimes I didn't even know why. I don't know, I just can't do that. So what I want to make sure that I say, without telling anyone what they need to do or be or think, is that I discovered I was not. Right. I discovered that was not true. That all of the things that I saw or experienced or felt material spiritual, were available. I did not believe it and know it. But I knew that now I know that now. And so one of the ways I say that is it doesn't matter where you've been. It does not matter what has happened around you or even to you. And I use that phrase advisedly, in terms of the choices of others affecting us. It doesn't matter. This 70 or 100 years that we exist here is a micro speck in the in the infinitude of the cosmos. And we mistake we leave a lot on the table, when we assume that this is finality, and everything is unfair because of x. And we're going to die because of that. And I'm too old, I didn't start till I was 52 on this journey, and all the rest of the thing. So it doesn't matter where you began, it doesn't matter what's happened to you or for you, or however you want to say that doesn't matter. You right here right now can have a life where every day is filled with purpose, prosperity, joy, creation, love, inner peace, or anything you want to use to describe that act of divine connectedness and creation. The choice always was and is yours that you have ignored it X number of times isn't even important. Because the only choice that matters is the one you make right here, right now. Thank you, Colin. You're welcome. Thank you for your insightful questions. Thank you for all the work that it takes. The podcast is a labor of love. And you doing this is a labor of love. And it is a choice about who you're being and how you contribute to the growth, opportunity, peace and coolness of other people and all those that participate and watch so thank you.

Yeah, I appreciate your acknowledgement there. And for those of you who have benefited from our conversation today, here on the ultimate coach podcast, please share this with another soul and with another heart and explore who you're being. Thank you.