The Queens go head-to-head in another 1 Star VERSES 5 Star Episode! This week they rate and review conflicting reviews for the Original STARBUCKS in Seattle! The Queens taste test with lots of ::Trigger Warning:: mouth sounds. Chelsey's iPhone is gettin quirky, Trey auto-completes but is left empty, and the Queens get caffeinated! Support Queer Wave Coffee.

(02:47) MAIL CALL!

(12:21) Lodge a Complaint!

(20:10) The Original Starbucks

(21:47) 1 Star Review

(38:25) Exclusive Offer

(39:27) GAME TIME: Joe or NO!

(45:26) 5 Star Review

(57:43) My Royal Highness

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Review That Review is an independent podcast.  Executive Produced by Trey Gerrald and Chelsey Donn with editing and sound design by Trey Gerrald.  Cover art designed by LogoVora, voiceover talents by Eva Kaminsky, and our theme song was written by Joe Kinosian and sung by Natalie Weiss.

Everybody's got an opinion.

Every, Californian, and Virginian and Virginian.

So hard to tell who to trust and who to ignore.

Someone's gotta settle The score., Trey and Chelsey will help you.

Which ones?

Ooh I haters.

Baby,, it's time to Review.

That, Review!.

Hello,

Well, hello and welcome to Review That Review, the podcast dedicated to reviewing

reviews were just like Cisco Neibert only.

Instead of reviewing cinematic masterpieces, we rate and review those hilarious, scathing,

that is Chelsey Donn.

and that is Trey Gerrald.

And together we are.

The review Queens.

Cheerio

to all of our members over on Patreon.

They have exclusive access to tons of bonuses, including our companion After show

Yay.

about that.

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Click on the word Patreon, or if you would like to support our show in a different way, you can

Well, hello Chelsey Goose.

How are ya?

I'm good.

If you're watching this and not listening, you'll see that I, I have these lights

I stared right into the light,

Oh,

bad I.

I know it well.

And I didn't, I couldn't even see anything until a second ago,

Yeah, these are, what are they?

Like 60 wat?

L e d lights.

So

very, very bright.

Yeah.

They're exceedingly bright in your eyeballs.

I don't know how good that is.

I mean, I don't think it's as bad as like looking into a solar eclipse,

can't be good for, oh my god, Solar eclipses.

Remember those glasses they make like out of cardboard or whatever?

I, Yeah.

I don't even know what peop people were like making them from home

I gotta be honest, I didn't really look.

Did you

No, I didn't look.

No.

Me.

do you remember when that was?

Like the hot topic, Like that was what we were talking about.

That was all pre covid and we didn't even know

Oh my God.

We had no idea what was to come.

ChelseyBD, did you get any interesting things on your doorstep?

This.

I did.

I got a package, a mysterious package in the mail.

Oh,

I think it said like from my fabulous gay cohost, and I

It's, it's quite heavy.

I have no idea what it is.

It's in a bag.

Yes.

I paid for like the 3 99 gift wrapping.

Yes.

What is it?

So I sent Chelsey a gift from Amazon.

Yeah.

What does it say?

says, Do not open till podcasting with the most adorable, gorgeous, stunning,

I like that.

That you said from Trey Gerrald as well.

Wait, I think that was like auto, like I didn't type from Trey.

Gerrald.

I think that was like from Trey.

Gerrald.

Well, Chelsey, so you said it's heavy.

Do you have any guesses what could be in there?

It feels like.

It's not breakable.

If you wanna give it a shake,

okay.

It feels like a bag of beans.

Kind of like, like

bag of beans.

That's what it feels like.

It feels like, you know when you go to the, the farmer's market and they have

If you're like, I Donn know, Trey's not gonna know any of this cuz he doesn't cook at all.

But instead of buying beans and a can, you can buy like raw beans that you soak yourself

It's quite heavy.

A lot of little tiny beads like beads or beans.

I don't know.

That's my guess.

It's heavy

All right, well, why don't you open at.

Oh my goodness.

Okay.

This is so exciting.

Am I right?

Is it beans?

Why would you send me beans?

Ooh.

It's wrapped inside.

It has this special.

Oh it, wait a minute.

Oh my goodness.

It's a lot of candy.

It's beans.

It's jelly beans.

Oh my

I was like, Okay, wait, so hold on before you go into detail.

I have it for myself as well.

So this is a variety, bro, jelly bean pack.

But today, can you guess which one we're gonna discuss?

There's four flavors.

Don't list them all cuz we're gonna do this on upcoming episodes, but there is

Well, the first one that I'm seeing, which I imagine is the one that

Stop.

I can't,

So this is the Duncan.

It actually doesn't even say Donn.

It just says Duncan Ice coffee flavor, jelly beans.

Oh my God.

So this has five different flavors.

Of iced coffee.

So the first is toasted coconut butter, pecan caramel latte hazelnut and french vanilla.

Who knew that this existed?

How did you even find this?

Well, I feel like a couple of episodes ago we started talking about

Didn't we have a conversation about this?

Well, I think we were talking about how like sweet, all the drinks were maybe like

yes.

And then I was listening to my favorite murder and they bought each other bro's, like

I have to do this with ChelseyBD.

So.

a live review.

So let's pop open and let's see, like do you see on the

Yeah.

Oh my God.

So are we gonna try, should we try the same one at the same time?

Yeah.

just gonna dump a little out on my, my desk.

Which one did you pull?

I pulled an orange.

I have an orange.

Should we try that one?

Yeah,

is the caramel latte.

That sounds kind of weird for a jelly baba, let's say.

Smells sweet.

Mm.

It's really giving me harm.

Latte vibes.

Yeah.

I really taste the caramel.

Oh wow.

That's strong.

It kind of reminds me of like, not like the worders candy, but it has like that like Right.

the caramel.

But there's also like, I feel like the after taste is a little coffee.

Yeah.

It ends, It's like one of those worders with like, I'm sure they make a worders with coffee.

I thought it would be gross,

I did too, but it wasn't bad.

It's like not something I'd want to eat a lot of in terms of like hitting

I think it's like a four outta five.

Yeah, I think so too.

Do you have a French vanilla handy?

French vanilla is like

one.

Yeah, let's do

I don't smell anything.

Doesn't have a very strong taste.

No,

tell if it's the caramel one was just like a punch in the

It kind of just feels like jelly.

Bam.

Jelly

But it's not gross.

I thought it, I thought this would all be nasty.

it just, it was like very sweet.

I just tasted sweetness.

I didn't taste vanilla.

Yeah.

If I tasted any vanilla was at the back end.

Like I'm gonna give, I'm gonna give it like one out of five.

I think one,

Let's do the um,

Is this hazelnut?

Yeah, it's at the light brown peach kind of.

Let's try Hazel it.

Oh,

that's a lot of flavor.

I don't like that as a jelly beam.

this one I think is so disgusting.

Oh, gross.

Zero.

for them to get gross.

This is.

I probably would pick these out of the bag and not eat these.

Um, hazelnut as a jelly beam is not a good

The caramel latte is much better.

Taste.

I'm This is a zero.

Uhuh.

He isn't a zero.

All right.

Zero out of five for

Yeah.

Yuck.

Disgusting.

gross experience.

Like I was worried that they were all gonna be like the hazelnut cuz it just

Be

Yeah.

Okay.

We have two left.

We have toasted coconut and butter Pecan.

I feel like toast to coconut's gonna be better in my mind.

I think butter can, Let's get that out of the way.

Butter pecan.

Here we go.

Ew.

That's.

Really sweet.

Oh, it's like, ew.

Oh, it's the butter at the end.

I don't taste any pecan.

Ew.

It's all butter.

Ugh.

It is.

Butter and sugar.

I'm not into this one.

It isn't as offensive as hands and it was to me, but I think this is a one out of.

I think that's still a zero out of five for me.

That was bad so far.

I'm liking the, which one?

The caramel, I guess was the least offensive so far.

yeah.

All right.

The final, the final jelly bean

Toasted coconut

I need another pallet cleanser or toasted coconut.

I have high hopes for you.

I'm getting nothing.

Okay.

At the end.

I mean,

It's not offensive.

but it's also not pleasurable.

It's all pleasurable.

I taste a little bit more coffee in that one.

I don't like it.

I don't like it.

I'll give it a one cuz it it,

Yeah, I would give it a one.

cause it's not like a huge turnoff.

That's so weird.

I almost wanna go back in for a caramel and see if I

I know.

I'm

we give that one?

We, we gave that,

caramel.

We gave it a five, right?

No, no.

A three.

I think

I didn't even remember.

It's still good.

it's better.

I think it's because it's like more traditional flavor for a jelly beam.

Yeah.

Like it tastes like, I don't really like them, but it kind of tastes like

The candy corn.

Yes.

I love candy corn.

Right.

It's given me like candy, corn vibes.

It's interesting.

So like the nutritional facts, it's 20 jelly beans are 110 calories.

Oh my God.

just like so bad.

Uh,

just, I'm not even worried about the calories.

It's the sugar.

How much sugar isn't at

um, 21 grams.

It's like over a gram of sugar per jelly.

Ew.

So 42%

No, that's 42% of your daily value.

and even the daily value is like that's higher than it.

Okay.

This is, listen, it's jelly beans.

We know that it's sugar.

That was fun.

That was fun.

I thought it would be more traumatizing.

Honestly.

I thought they would all be horrible and disgusting.

They weren't all horrible and disgusting.

It's a lot of sugar.

I wonder who I'm gonna gift these to.

I

Did you like as a Jewish person, did you ever have like jelly beans?

I just think of them so much

I Donn.

I know that they are sort of an Easter candy, but like for sure the only jelly

I'm a big fan of the sour,

I like sour candy.

I definitely like sour candy.

Wait, so, okay.

So do you have anything that you wanna complain about Chelsey?

Should we go into a

Lodge Complaint.

moment?

Other than the flavor of that, whatever that was that I just consumed.

Thank you for the present, my beautiful cohost.

Well, we have three more bags so we can continue to

We'll continue this tradition.

As the weeks go on, my Complaint at this very moment is with Apple and the iPhones, and the

Why is this?

It's really not.

Right?

This is such like expensive device, and I, I do pay the, like, monthly because I think

I might as well just like lease it and then roll over into a new lease, which I do,

year they have a new update.

right?

So like as expensive a device as this is, this should last many, many,

I think it's an 11.

Do you

I, Me too.

An 11 promax.

I have an 11 promax and I like am pretty religious about the updates and that's it.

The phone is like deceased.

It just starts being like super glitchy.

Lots of problems with the camera, like turning on and off.

App's not loading properly, like just my phone just doesn't wanna work right now.

I think I'll just be frozen for a long time.

Like, why?

Why does this happen every like three years?

Yeah.

You would think they would be more diligent about this not occurring

Because Apple did get in trouble for like

like make them combust.

they did.

I think when they acknowledged it, they were saying that they would no longer do it.

Mm, Bullshit.

you, But ironically, I did just get the 14.

I'm getting it tomorrow.

Did you order it online?

Cuz I don't even know how I'm gonna go about doing this.

Like I'm

You're keep going.

I'm Verizon.

What was that?

Yeah, that was the question.

Well, cuz I ordered online through at and t and they have a $1,000 rebate, so

what

because I'm going from an 11.

So look on Verizon.

To see if I have a rebate.

Okay.

Lodging a Complaint apple.

Do better.

Like have your updates be applicable to like the last, however many phones.

Don't make it like make my phone not work.

Well I would also offer here that we both have iPhones

So if we're just now starting to notice

that's the problem is like, I think I got the 11 shortly before the 12 came out.

You know what I mean?

Like I was on the

I did too.

Me too.

is even more annoying cuz you're like, well then it's not that old.

Like it's basically a 12.

It's like an 11th.

11th hour 11.

Mm-hmm.

You know?

Yes.

Well, I've been doing lots of research on this new iPhone 14.

If you are an Android person, call in and let us know your thoughts.

Oh, I'm sure you have lot.

I have a few friends that are very, very passionate about not going to iPhone.

So here's your moment to feel validated.

All right.

That's my Complaint.

What about you, Trey?

Do you have a Complaint?

I have a Complaint, This is not specific to Netflix, it's specific

I don't know if you've ever experienced this, but let's say for example, I'm wanting to watch the

for example.

for example.

So if I'm like, I don't know what service has it,

Mm-hmm.

open on Netflix, so let me start typing in on the Netflix search show

Like other people have searched it, like I can just go to the right and

Donn.

Oh

This also happens on Amazon Prime.

Let's say I'm typing in the curious incident of the dog in the nighttime, which is a

I click on it.

They don't have it.

Why?

Why do they auto complete the titles if they don't exist in the library?

You're wasting my time.

Oh, try

Have you experienced that?

your complaints always just really ri me up and get another Complaint

Beyond that, I don't know if you've been noticing this, so let's say you type in showgirl into Hulu.

It's there.

Oh, how exciting.

Oh, guess what?

You have to pay an extra fee to get the premium.

Premium.

Premium.

If you have the premium, premium premium, then you can watch it.

If you only have the premium premium, then you can't!

I, How many times have I paid an upcharge?

I keep paying these freaking upcharges.

Every time I go on there, they're like, Oh, don't get this thing anymore.

Gotta pay for this.

And I just pay for it.

And then I go on and then the next time it's like, Gotta pay for this.

What am I paying for?

specifically is guilty of that cuz they have so many different like subscription

We used to have all these problems with the cable companies.

Now I'm getting really angry at these streaming services, cuz I feel

Yeah.

Well what is also frustrating to me in the same conversation of triple dipping, because

They go away after a certain amount of time, but they don't erase it from the search library.

So you start to type in show and you see girls and you click on it and they no longer have

So I've wasted all this time instead of just erasing it from the library

Or there should just be a centralized location where

These are the four places where you can watch it.

Boo boo.

These are the two that you're already paying for.

Well, right, well, that is a Google and then B, that is an app you

Yeah.

Sorry.

Well, I really hate it and it happens to me all the time, and I clocked it the

Pretend that you don't know the word.

Rude.

Rude.

All right, well,

Or like just make it obvious, Like make it like a different color

Or just have it.

Okay.

Or just have it, Just get, Show girls.

What's wrong with you,

Literally, we all love doggy chow.

All right.

Wow.

Chelsey, are you ready to go?

Hey,

Well, now that I'm like so heated, I'm absolutely ready to go head to head.

Let's do it.

let's

Says that Kvetch.

Today is yet another verses episode, and today we're not covering a Duncan.

We're gonna cover a one star and a five star on the same topic.

Starbucks?

Woo.

Woo.

Yep, that's right.

For this versus episode, Trey selected the five star and I selected the one star.

So to determine who reads first, we gotta flip that quota.

I think it's your turn to

I think so, yeah.

Okay, here we go.

I'm gonna say heads,

Okay.

tails.

woo.

That means I go first.

So we are going to be covering the original Starbucks location at Pike

Woo woo.

So at the time of this recording, this Starbucks location has 1,432 reviews on Yelp 601 reviews

It's

So according to the Starbucks website, the story of Starbucks began

Um, of the gum wall

Home of the gum wall from previous episode.

It was here where Starbucks opened its first store offering fresh roasted coffee,

Their name was inspired by the classic tale Moby Dick evoking the seafaring

Over the next 50 years, they would grow to open stores globally and become and welcome millions

Starbucks employees remain dedicated to their mission, to inspire and nurture

So with all of that background information, let's hop on in and get

Review, That, Review.

It's pumpkins by a clock.

All right, this is a one star review, obviously from Yelp written by Amy K.

Here we go, do merchandise

Oh.

also.

Starbucks will not stand by their product.

They state Starbucks does not have a warranty for surf wear.

Most people visiting this store aren't trying to get a simple cup of coffee.

I see a lot of people purchasing store specific merchandise, and I hope other

I visited from Los Angeles and waited over 40 minutes in line to get a mug.

It was a significant weight in the rain, but I did it because I love S Bucks and thought it'd

However, I didn't realize how there is apparently zero quality control for their products.

I bought a unique Pike Place only mug and used it maybe three to four times so far.

Not Stren, just coffee, water, or tea out of it.

I've also never put it through the dishwasher or microwave.

When I tried to drink tea out of it, I noticed there were cracks all along

I took pictures that are attached to my review so you can see, and when I

I had saved over 425 points to redeem this mug and I just wanted to replace it.

They said, Sorry, no warranty, and here's our return policy, which was

Oh,

I have the app which has records of every purchase point,

I didn't bother keeping the receipt to a mug because I trusted Starbucks as a major

I had expected them to at least return my points to me, but nope.

Oh.

What I've learned from this experience is that loyalty to Starbucks

As a consumer, I am extremely disappointed by not only their product, but more so

My trust and loyalty has disintegrated as apparently does their serve where.

I do have pictures.

So here we go.

We have the first, What I found interesting was, was this sort of unique, uh, merchandise.

We have the first Starbucks store, 1912 Pike Place, Seattle, Washington, established 1971.

And then you do see on this photo, can you see Trey, how there's like these

Yeah, but it doesn't look like liquid would come through

Yeah, but it's still like cracked.

Like I think that's kind of, And then the second one, look at the inside of the

Oh yeah.

That's pretty bad.

I'm not happy about that.

It says new mug cracked inside and out again, and then another of the outside

Dishwasher and microwave safe.

I mean, not a great look.

I mean, I see the cracks and like you would suspect that if you bought a

Especially like you would think That's like to Starbucks.

That one mug is like nothing.

Exactly.

And also I thought it was really weird that they do have the record in the app, but then what they

Yeah, that's insane to me.

That makes me mad actually.

Cuz I don't ever even get offered a receipt.

I don't think, I mean, I've never purchased merchandise, I don't think outta

Yeah, usually they don't give you a receipt unless you're like, ask for one.

But like you wouldn't think that you would need to because you're buying like a souvenir.

I mean it's like I really kind of felt for Amy Kay here, cuz it's like

Like you're a huge Hershey chocolate fan and you buy like some really cool Hershey

right?

offense.

No offense to Marshall.

Well, I also, no, that is definitely standing alone to me for the review.

Like the total lack of, um, customer care.

Yeah.

Especially the 425 points a I've never even considered.

I could purchase an even at a normal Starbucks, like a bag of beans or like

Like, I guess obviously you can, but I, um, that is frustrating to me that the warranty

Serveware.

I've

know,

the word serveware

right.

Serveware.

I mean, I did think that there was a lot of, you know how I love my flower lang?

Flowery.

Flowery, You know how I love my flowery language, but there was a lot of extra language

Well also in terms of flowery language,

Yeah.

S box.

Right.

You know what I found interesting about that?

So they like, they thought it really told an interesting journey of, of Amy Kay.

Because like, it's like when you really love someone and you give them a nickname

Yes, I totally clocked

Right?

It's like we no longer have that relationship.

I was gonna ask you, do they say, does Amy type out

Except for the last, Oh my gosh.

Also, what, what time are you saving by abbreviating the word Starbucks to S Box?

Like you're cutting out three letters,

Not much.

But I think that like, in an interesting way it did show further demonstrate Amy.

affinity for the brand.

that.

It's like I'm not some, I'm not just like some lucky Lou that's like, Oh,

What the hell?

It was like a big deal.

I'm going to Seattle.

I love Starbucks.

I have to go to this location.

I have to get this limited edition mug.

I mean, that's like upsetting when you go for like merch from the original place.

It's like that's like an exciting thing to do.

And then for it not to even last like three uses,

That's actually a really great point now that you bring that up, because when

It is like specifically the first store Starbucks mug.

So like, you know, I, maybe you could find that somewhere online, but the feeling is different

You know, I mean, I, I do think that this is valuable.

It's interesting to me that the whole experience of this review is basically about this serveware.

Yeah, I did.

I mean obviously there were other reviews.

I will say the common thread that I think was a universal thing is that like the customer

However, it is hard to ascertain that from this review because it seems like we're

Like, I don't know, I can't really tell.

Do we think that they were calling the Pike Place location and being like,

I imagine, I don't know where else they would call,

Yeah.

Well that's right because they said that when they were in Seattle, they made this plan.

So obviously they either called Starbucks 1-800-STARBUCKS, or they like found the number.

Like

right?

I've never considered, I mean,

Like is there a 1-800-STARBUCKS?

Like can you just call like a corporate number?

what's Howard Schultz's number?

Let's call him.

Should we hit up Howard?

Howard is officially done as CEO as of a couple weeks ago.

I

Oh, Mosel.

Mo to Howard.

But why I do like this review is because I obviously looked at

That really is part of it.

And they have an exclusive line of merch at this store.

That's only the first store stuff.

I did find another review at a different Starbucks that says like three blocks

Um, but I don't know if that was truthful or shady or whatever, but there's neither here nor there.

You know, my only question here, Amy Kay says they had maybe three or four uses.

They didn't microwave it, they didn't dishwash it.

It was just tea and coffee.

But it's also a white mug.

So I also know when you have a dark liquid and a white mug that could seep

Like I, I don't know.

I'm just wondering, do we think there's any fault at, on Amy's behalf or strictly 0%?

I mean, I kind of feel like strictly 0% because if Starbucks is selling this

Then don't sell white mugs if that's like, I mean, how many white mugs are there out there?

We have, we have a white fe mug.

I've, I've drank out of it a million times.

I've never seen cracks.

Knock on wood.

Yeah.

Me

And I have had this happen before, by the way, two mugs

Yeah, me too.

and it doesn't like bother me that much.

I think it happened to like a color me mind mug that I

was just gonna say yes.

Yes.

Yeah.

So I wonder if it has something to do with like the ceramic paint

But like it didn't really bother me cuz I was like, I made it and my parents still used

But I think that if you're gonna buy, I'm sure what was like an expensive mug.

From Starbucks, which like you love.

Then Starbucks should be doing their due diligence to make sure that like it's gonna last.

Like I think that if Amy Kay had had this mug for two years and then it started doing this, I don't

Keep the receipt.

Keep the receipt.

Exactly.

There's steps that you can take based off of Amy's assessment, which I appreciate.

Yeah.

So like obviously they said money, money sign, money sign What?

What else is there for spelling and grammar?

Well, we obviously started with the all caps.

I'm really happy that we didn't stay there.

I was a little worried when I started reading the review that we were going to, but we didn't.

I kind of like the like money sign, money sign, s bucks of it all.

It's not taking away from the experience of reading it and it, like I said, it sort of

Anything that is like personal like that without being over the top and obnoxious.

I kind of like,

Yeah.

I don't think that I'm gonna count that against Amy.

Six people did find this useful.

Like I find Amy to be truthful.

I don't know if the mug was a fluke.

I don't know if, if this was a bad batch, like I'm not really sure how to deduce that necessarily.

But I was entertained, I did find the colloquialisms that Amy used to be

Especially with a one star, especially with caps.

Cuz you start to, like, you could go into that being like, this person's gonna be

Yelling at me the whole time.

Mm-hmm.

Totally.

And then the only other thing that I'll say is that we did kind of get what I love in a one star,

Because we are talking about, even though we are so upset about this, how much we love Starbucks,

And I like that.

And it makes me trust Amy more because I, They're not just doing what some, once

They didn't do anything like that.

So I appreciated that as well.

Have we done our due diligence for Amy?

Should we crown Amy?

Is there anything we should consider?

Yeah, let's do it.

I, I could do it.

that's Crown Amy.

So Chelsey and I each have our own set of zero to five crown cards.

In an effort to be fair and not influence one another, we will say,

The Queens are Tabulating.

Okay, I'm holding up four crowns.

Trey is holding up four and a half crowns.

Trey, you go first.

Why?

Four and a half crowns for Amy Kay,

You know, I honestly, when this began, I was sort of like, What, What?

This doesn't have to anything to do with the store, but then when you talked about

So like I imagine that the merchandising sales are so out of the roof for this

You know what I mean?

And even though I can't deduce if like Amy is at fault or not, or any of that, like I do think that

And it would have an impact on me if, if when I ever go to this first Starbucks in my life

So for that reason, I said four and a half.

The ultimate payoff is, is large.

Why did you say four?

I know.

I'm starting to think maybe I should have gone closer to four and a

I went with four because I thought, yeah, there could have been a little bit more

Because a lot of the review was obviously focusing on like the recon afterwards, so I couldn't

That being said, I was sort of glancing over it again and, and Amy did mention

So there was like some info about expect to wait a long time.

I think overall Amy did a really good job, not a full Review Queen for me, but

Good job Amy.

Good job, Amy.

I hope you get a new mug.

J.

Good J Amy.

Good, Meg?

Good.

Mer.

Good.

Good me.

Oh my God.

I kinda love that.

All right.

Amy, if you're listening, will send you a good MER mug in

We create new merchandise every episode of Review, That, Review,

I know.

I love it.

Good.

Me?

well, we're gonna go get to work on making those mes.

In the meantime, let's take a break and when we come back we can hear an entirely

The Aspl saga.

I can't wait.

B

Brv.

Hold your crown.

We'll be right back.

It's game time Chelsey.

I've created a new game for us.

God.

Okay.

me ask, are you ready to play?

Okay.

Is.

Oh, I like it.

Is it Joe or is it?

No.

Okay.

All right, so I have a bunch of different flavors of coffee,

Okay.

Okay.

Self-explanatory.

We ready?

Yes, we're ready.

All right, here we go.

So Chelsey, the first option is, Is this Joe or no?

Okay.

Wake the Fuck Up.

Ooh, sassy, Joe.

That's correct.

Okay.

That's a brand you can buy on Amazon.

I've considered him many times.

okay.

All right.

The next one is, this Joe or No?

Okay.

Tickled, Pickled.

Oh my God.

No,

Yes.

I, Right.

Wow.

That was made up by me.

Was it the pickled that gave it away, or was it like if it was tickled pickle or

just felt like something that you would make up

Okay, fine.

Okay, this is next one.

Is this Joe or no?

Okay.

Pompe Roast,

I had a feeling I was gonna be wrong.

Do you?

You

one.

Trey?

But do you know why that's so offensive?

No.

Pompe.

They were all burned alive by the volcano

Um, if I knew that, I would probably know that it was a no.

Whoopsies.

Okay.

All right.

Joe or no cup of PB and chocolate?

Ooh, kind.

Hope that's a joke.

That sounds good.

It is that is created by the company Mods Coffee.

yeah.

Okay.

Joe or no Birds, saliva.

Oh my God, I'm so torn right now because this is, birth saliva is an actual like

It's a real thing.

So I'm gonna say Joe

That's right.

Oh,

it's, um, this is coffee created by a company called Royal Bird's

I went to a restaurant with my parents and they ordered this for dessert.

There you go.

Okay.

Okay.

Not to yak on anyone's yum.

Exactly.

Joe, or no purple potato.

Hmm.

No.

Oh,

That's wrong, Unfortunately.

Purple Potato Latte is a flavor from a company called Subspace Coffee.

All right, Joe, or no burnt lava?

Ooh.

no.

Good job.

Okay.

It's a lot of pressure after the Pompe.

I, I just, I wasn't sure.

The Palm Roast Coffee.

That's terrible.

All right, we have three more.

You ready?

Yes, I'm ready.

All right.

Creamy mac and cheese, Joe, or

Ew.

Oh my God.

I hope it's now.

No.

I made that up.

thank goodness.

All right.

Currently you are at five, correct?

And two incorrect.

So you're winning so far.

Okay.

Joe, or no?

Mm-hmm.

Hotty, biscotti, vanilla almond.

If that's not Joe, that's gotta be Review, That, Review, Joe.

Cuz that sounds delicious.

I'm gonna go with Joe.

I thought you would think I made that up.

That is Joe.

It's a flavor once again by Mods Coffee.

Ooh.

I gotta get involved with this mod business.

All right, Final one, Papa Fritas Brew Joe or no?

You got it right.

Do you know what that translates to?

French fries, fried fried potato.

Woo.

Oh, I really wish there was a French fried coffee.

That would be so good.

You got eight Diva.

Woo.

I'm so proud of you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I, That was good.

You did not get tracked.

You're a Joe expert.

and I don't even have as much Joe as you do, but I think it's, you know,

I think that's

and with that in mind,

bye.

Yes.

Love you, Oh my God.

Review, That, Review.

All right.

We are back from that rousing, caffeinated game break.

And now it is your turn.

Trey?

Yes.

Okey dokey.

So today I have a five star review also from Yelp for the original Starbucks,

Melissa E.

Okay.

And Alyssa E is a Yelp elite.

Here we go.

The first ever Starbucks store.

Starbucks was opened in 1971 in Seattle's Pike Place Market.

The OG Shop maintains most details of its original appearance, so while this is absolutely

They do not serve any food, but they do have exclusive merchandise in a store.

Specific Pike Place Roast.

The employees seemed genuinely enthusiastic about working.

I initially attempted to come here on a Sunday at 11:00 AM which was a mistake.

There were over 200 people in line.

I tried the next day Monday at 8:20 AM and the wait was only 15 minutes.

I was helped by barista Anthony, who was kind and knowledgeable.

I had to try the Pike Place roast, which can only be purchased at the store.

And the interest of tasting the nuanced flavors of the coffee.

I ordered it as an Iced Americano, the friendly older lady working, prepared it perfectly.

Overall, a fun and memorable experience,

Mm.

and five people have found this useful.

One, found it funny, two found it.

Cool.

And there are four images attached.

One is of the storefront.

Let's see the images.

So Alyssa lives in Seattle, or was visiting, did she say?

Well, they're from Long Beach.

Okay, so they're visiting.

Okay.

So they have a picture of the front window and then all the people in line.

Probably on the Monday it doesn't look like that many people.

Then an order of the specific Pike Place bags of coffee and then their cup,

their drink.

Nice.

I like Alyssa's review.

I like Alyssa.

I think that Alyssa seems like a go with the flow kind of gal.

I like that she went on the first day, saw that there was a huge line,

I'm gonna come back another time.

You know, like what a good attitude.

Alyssa.

Like, look at this.

I mean, Alyssa had a situation where she could have easily been one of those

I went, It was a nightmare.

I couldn't get in, blah, blah, blah.

But instead she was just like, Well, obviously it's busy.

It's a weekend.

I'll come back on the morning of a weekday and it should be better.

And it was so I thought, Mad props to Alyssa.

I could even see someone taking one star off and making this a four star.

Because they had to return.

Right.

Exactly.

It also seems like interestingly enough though, Alyssa did

Very queenly tip, because most Starbucks do serve food at this point.

Alyssa also did mention the merchandise, but Alyssa did not mention whether or

So I'm gonna go with the assumption that she did not,

Yeah.

I don't think they did.

because I do think that that comes into play with our like one star review.

You know, maybe if, if Amy had just been going there for coffee, maybe Amy wouldn't

You know, you can go to this Starbucks and you can still have a unique experience by getting

So I thought that that was interesting.

Oh yeah.

That is interesting.

Yin yang.

I also thought it was interesting cuz you mentioned a lot of the one stars

And in my experience, reading through a lot of five stars, people were constantly

They seemed to be excited to be working at that location.

How there was like a line attendant who was like talking about trivia and I, I do

Yes, I put a star there.

But then they also say an older lady preparing

I know.

but I guess she couldn't see their tag.

Yeah, I, yeah, I wrote that down too.

I thought it was Queen Lee that, Yeah, that, that she gave Anthony a shout out.

Who knows.

You know, I do think it's interesting with these line scenarios, like anything that you go to

As you know, we both worked in service industry jobs, so we get it.

And I do think it's interesting to point out that maybe in the morning when you first get

So maybe a lot of these more negative reviews were people that were.

Going closer to the end of the day after these people had been through God

I mean, it is interesting.

I was thinking about something about Alyssa's tone.

Feels very much like I am a Yelp elite.

I'm giving you the first paragraph about the backstory of this, but within that,

So I did find it to be worth seeing, even though I knew like what I was walking into,

You know what I mean?

I think that Alyssa, Yes, and I do, you know that, I like that.

I love, uh, even with the gum wall situation, when the reviewer of that gave us a little bit

Why is this here?

Even though it's not like a traditional review and that this is just my experience,

I do appreciate it, especially from these Yelp reviewers, elite reviewers, rather, because it

Like, at least you'll know.

and I do think it is the, the, a lot, there is a lot of useful

On a Sunday at 11, there were 200 people online.

Monday at eight 20.

There, it was about a 15 minute wait.

Like that's not, like I have waited 15 minutes in Manhattan at Starbucks.

So,

Sure.

Yeah.

So a little queenly tip in there.

and that there is exclusive merchandise and the store specific roast,

Like it does pack a lot of info,

It definitely packs a lot of info.

It doesn't really leave a lot of like fat on the bone, you know, like we have a lot of

I really find myself a fan of Alyssa's, I

Spelling of grammar is really great.

They obviously did do spell check.

I find Alyssa to be truthful, I do think that the no shade alarm goes off, especially

So I'm like, let me just try this tomorrow.

I think,

I think that, I think that Alyssa falls on the scale of like

I'll say

I would agree.

Mm-hmm.

You know, I think that like you're gonna have, you're gonna have the

So for a commoner fluke experience, I mean, it's sort of in the

Cuz if it is touristy, you

That being said, like Alyssa did her due diligence and she was like warning people.

So if you were reading this review and you are a little bit more of a crochety

I'm gonna skip it.

I don't feel it.

I don't like Starbucks enough to wait in line for however long.

Or you could think like, let me try multiple days at different

Yeah.

Or definitely let me not go on a weekend or whatever.

Exactly.

Humor, entertainment.

I'm a little split on, I don't find it very humorous.

I'm curious that some there has one vote for funny.

I don't know what, and this is funny

yeah, sometimes they get a vote for funny, and I'm confused.

and I don't find it to be entertaining, to be honest.

I think it's just very reportedly.

Agree very reportedly.

Should we report, should we Review That, Review.

Let's do it.

I'm ready.

do it.

The Queens are Tabulating

to.

Four and a half crowns, four and a half crowns.

The Queens are unanimous.

Really loved this review Trey, great job.

Only took off that half crown because lack of humor.

And then also I think Alyssa might be a little bit more patient than your average

And I think that there might be some people that would be a little bit more turned off by

So that was the only reason I took half a crown off.

Other than that, super Queenly, learned a lot.

Didn't know about the exclusive roast, you know, didn't know about the no food.

Lots of information here, which I really appreciate.

And the length was great.

And Alyssa just seems like cool check, good vibes.

So that's why I went with four and a half.

How about you?

Interesting.

I said four and a half because this is basically a Review Queen, except

That's all.

Like I would love one chuckle or would love, I don't know, something about

You know it.

But that's all.

It just feels a little book reporter, that's all.

that's all.

That's great.

Good job, Alyssa.

I mean, very interesting with this one in five, I don't really think I walk away feeling like.

Where would I, where would I rate Starbucks Pike Place on a scale of one to one to five?

Based off of these two reviews?

I'd say I'd probably give it like a three and a half, four.

Overall maybe, maybe a four, just because I think that both of these reviewers gave

And so I think that I could still go to this location and enjoy my custom

So I, I'm sure it's a, it's a good hang.

Yeah, I'm a little split.

I'm unsure.

I, I really did like when you brought up Hershey Park, cuz something to me feels

This is not the first location.

It actually was a couple of doors down or something.

Oh funny.

But then when you mentioned Hershey Park, I was like right.

I mean it is like a brand, like I understand they appeal and if I found myself near

Absolutely.

I

And if you, and if you are like curious enough to stand online cuz you

They are indeed.

So.

Good job, Alyssa.

yes.

Good job Amy.

We've got two A's two.

The the battle of the A's today but not really much of a battle cuz

Good.

Mer girls.

Good Meg, ladies.

All right.

I learned a lot today, Trey.

I learned that I do not like Dunking Donuts, jelly beans that much.

I.

Yaki Yaki.

All right.

Well, I think that what this means is that we have reached the most regal portion of the show.

Trey, who are you inducting tonight for?

My Royal line.

All right.

So today an honor of our coffee episode, I have decided to end up this interesting

Okay.

All right, so this is a coffee company started by an individual named

Okay.

So I was really struck by this company.

I found out about it on Instagram, ironically, and I listened to a podcast

So I wanted to induct them today.

So Cheyenne created this company, which Queer Wave Coffee is cultivated and harvested and Honduras

Wow.

So the intentionality around Queer Wave Coffee and Cheyenne Sochi loves

Coffee was stolen from Ethiopia and smuggled throughout the equator by colonial men.

Indigenous people were forced to grow coffee under the power and benefit of white plantation owners.

So a majority of the coffee industry today still continues to be controlled

So it's impossible to make any change by supporting those in power.

So Cheyenne has created Queer Wave Coffee as an opportunity.

To disrupt that supply chain.

And I love this quote from their website.

It's, they say, Support your local coffee roaster if you feel good about their business practices,

If they don't, we are here for you.

Which I think is such a Queen amazing opportunity.

There's so much like, this is obviously a very like tough, dark conversation,

And so I bought a bag of Queer Wave coffee today, and I encourage all of you to do the same.

And you can follow Queer Wave Coffee on Instagram at Queer Wave Coffee.

And for that reason, my Royal Highness today is Queer Wave Coffee and Cheyenne Sochi love.

Love that.

Thank you, Cheyenne.

What a great mission.

I'll have to check out the coffee myself.

I mean, and also just giving power to the area that was colonized in 1772 and not

Very fascinating.

You can also follow Cheyenne on Instagram as well.

Well, that, That's it.

So we've done another round on the R You and RQ Ferris Wheel of I'm a Caffeinated.

thank you for joining us today.

If you like what you heard, please tell a friend.

If you did not like what you heard, please tell an enemy.

If you have zero friends and zero enemies, lucky you, but you want the chance to be

If you'd like to support the production of our show, visit

Join our mailing list at Review That Review dot com to stay up to

and hit up our voice mailbox 1 8 50 review zero.

You can follow us on all the socials at the review.

Queens.

I'm at ChelseyBD.

And I am at Trey Gerrald.

On today's 52nd episode, a full year of the after show Chelsey and Trey will be rating

Four Dunking Donuts, jelly beans.

Oh my goodness.

Somebody had five stars for this.

Mm-hmm.

, get ready.

So if you wanna find out what made Chelsey say,

Hands down, this place has the worst crack in Seattle.

And find out what made Trey say

Well, why didn't I do this since it's so stupid?

then.

Join our patreonPage@patreon.com slash Review That Review to hear our weekly

And remember,

Ignore the haters.

You're a Queen.

gender nonspecific Queen.

Gender non-specific Starbucks Pike Place, Jelly Bean Queen Queen S

buy

Bye.

Review That Review.

As an independent podcast, certain names have been redacted or changed to protect the guilty

Our cover art was designed by Lovo, and our theme song was written by Joe

sandwich.

Sand.

We,

Do you think you've ever said the word sandwich?

I don't like think that I consciously say sand.

We, I think maybe it just sounds like that.

I think I say sandwich like a witch.

Like a witch with a room,

Right.

Yeah.

you know?

But I guess it sounds like sandwich.

No, no, no.

I'm asking

I also say tree, which like, but apparently sometimes it sounds like I'm

Oh

You know what I mean?

So,

sound cuz I say Trey.

I don't say Trey.

exactly.

I'm sure I say Trey tree.

Yeah.

Like I chew on it a little bit, but you know,

That's chew on some jelly beans.

Shall we

Ugh, Not this, not these, but I'm curious to see what this five

So let's hop on over to the after show.

join us on Friday Queens?

Bye.