One Simple Action to Support Your LGBTQ Loved One Today
Episode 320 •
2nd October 2026 • More Human. More Kind. | Parenting LGBTQ Kids, Unlearning Fear, Becoming More Human • Heather Hester | Advocate for Parents of LGBTQ Teens
What's one thing you can do today to support your LGBTQ loved one through coming out?
This is the Friday Butterfly Effect episode for Tuesday's Coming Out Action Guide episode. Heather offers one word, one tiny action, one micro rebellion, and one line to steal, all built around a single finding: the biggest factor in a young person's coming out journey isn't having the right words. It's having one steady, accepting adult in their life.
In this episode you'll learn how to:
Replace a pointed question with one open, reassuring sentence when your loved one starts to pull away
Notice and interrupt the guilt spiral before it starts, instead of searching for what you did wrong
Use one simple line to mark the moment their self-love starts to return
Press play for one small, steady action you can take today.
Hi, I’m Heather Hester, and I’m so glad you’re here!
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This is a place to feel messy while you're figuring it out.
At the heart of my work is a deep commitment to compassion, authenticity, and transformative allyship, especially for those navigating the complexities of parenting LGBTQ kids. Through this podcast, speaking, my writing, and the spaces I create, I help people unlearn bias, embrace their full humanity, and grow their capacity for courageous connection.
For parents, allies, and those pioneering a way to lead with love and kindness, I’m here with true, messy, and heartwarming stories, real tools, and grounding support to help you move from fear to fierce, informed action.
Whether you’re listening in, working with me directly, or quietly taking it all in, I see you. And I’m so glad you’re on this journey with me.
More Human. More Kind. formerly Just Breathe: Parenting Your LGBTQ Teen is a safe and supportive podcast in a heartfelt and empowering space where a mom and advocate offers the wisdom of lived experience and practical guidance and education to parents and allies, teaching empathy, kindness, love, and strong boundaries while supporting LGBTQ teens and the diverse LGBTQ community, including gay, lesbian, bisexual, trans, transgender, and queer individuals, through conversations about mental health, grief, gender identity, sexual orientation, human rights, social justice, parenting, parent support, and meaningful LGBTQ allyship and allyship in action.
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Transcripts
Speaker A:
In today's episode, you'll discover a simple action you can take today to support your LGBTQ loved one and their coming out process.
Speaker B:
Welcome to More Human, More Kind, the podcast for parents of LGBTQ kids and anyone trying to stay human in a world that keeps hardening.
Speaker B:
I'm Heather Hester and here we talk about fear, belonging, boundaries, courage, love and what it means to protect what matters without losing yourself in the process.
Speaker B:
Your child doesn't just need a parent who's informed, they need a parent who is grounded and strong.
Speaker B:
Let's take a breath and let's begin.
Speaker A:
Welcome to More Human More Kind.
Speaker A:
I'm Heather Hester.
Speaker A:
This is a companion to the Coming Out Action Guide episode from Tuesday.
Speaker A:
If you haven't listened to that episode yet, go back and start there because this episode builds directly on it and will make a lot more sense.
Speaker A:
With that episode under your belt, I want to start by emphasizing one idea from that episode before we go further.
Speaker A:
Researchers keep finding over and over that the single most important factor in a young person's coming out journey is having at least one accepting adult in their life.
Speaker A:
Not having the right words, not a perfect response in the moment, just one adult who stays open, who has their back, who is a steady, trustworthy support.
Speaker A:
That's where the bar is set, and I think that's a bar that you can clear today.
Speaker A:
Your word of the week this week is steady.
Speaker A:
If your teen is somewhere in identity confusion right now, quietly working through that question of who am I?
Speaker A:
They don't need for you to have the answers.
Speaker A:
They need you to be steady and reliable.
Speaker A:
Try that word on this week instead of informed or prepared.
Speaker A:
Those are great too.
Speaker A:
But this week, be steady.
Speaker A:
Steady can be enough.
Speaker A:
This week's tiny action is for identity comparison, the stage where your kid is pulling away and you don't know why.
Speaker A:
Try one sentence instead of a question.
Speaker A:
Replace is something wrong with You've seemed like you're carrying something heavy.
Speaker A:
I'm here and I'm not going anywhere.
Speaker A:
Say it once this week and notice how it lands differently than a question does.
Speaker A:
Sometimes a question can make them feel defensive or cornered.
Speaker A:
This sentence, or one like it, is open, observant, and reassuring.
Speaker A:
Find the right words for your kid and practice it until it feels natural.
Speaker A:
This week's micro rebellion is about your own guilt stage.
Speaker A:
This week, resist the urge to go looking for what you did wrong.
Speaker A:
That search doesn't end, and it leads down a very slippery slope into a shame spiral that is filled with inaccuracies and it can be very difficult to climb out of.
Speaker A:
So this week I want you to notice every time the guilt and the search starts up creeps up, that's your cue to stop.
Speaker A:
The search itself is the thing to interrupt your line to steal this week is for identity acceptance.
Speaker A:
That moment when you catch that first spark of self love coming back.
Speaker A:
Use this line exactly as is I see you and I'm so proud of you.
Speaker A:
Just that I see you and I'm so proud of you.
Speaker A:
Say it plainly, say it often, and let it stand on its own.
Speaker A:
This week's episodes were created in response to a review from a listener.
Speaker A:
Thank you for that again, Polish girl 7 genuinely, I am so grateful.
Speaker A:
That kind of feedback is exactly what shapes what comes next on the show.
Speaker A:
And this episode exists because.
Speaker A:
Because someone took the time to tell me what they needed.
Speaker A:
If something here helped you today, following the podcast and leaving a rating and review is the easiest way for it to reach the next parent who needs it.
Speaker A:
My goal is to have 100 reviews by the end of this year.
Speaker A:
We're up to 56.
Speaker A:
If every single person listening to this right now left one, we'd be in the second thousands.
Speaker A:
So please help us get these messages to the people who need to hear them.
Speaker A:
A new episode will drop on Tuesday.
Speaker A:
Until then, keep choosing to be a little more human and a little more kind.
