Do anxiety and imposter syndrome ever go away? No. Mine did not. What changed is that I stopped treating them as the problem and started treating them as voices.

I sat there thinking people vote for me because they feel sorry for me, or because I am in a wheelchair. Then another voice comes in and says hang on, thank you for putting your nose in, but it was fine last time. That is the argument, and it never fully stops. The hard bit is doing it again and again. Hello, how are you today, like an annoying little visitor.

One thing to try: When it arrives, greet it rather than argue with it. Hello, you again.

In this episode

• (0:01) Anxiety and imposter syndrome are not the problem
• (2:25) Thinking people vote for me because of the wheelchair
• (5:00) Sitting next to the cabinet holder for the environment
• (7:50) Four years on, and it still has not gone
• (9:54) Thank you for putting your nose in, but it was fine last time
• (12:30) The elderly gentleman next door, forty years on
• (14:34) The hard part is doing it again and again

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Thank you for listening.

Steven

Links to Steven Webb's podcast and how you can support his work.

• Donate paypal.me/stevenwebb or Coffee stevenwebb.uk
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So, I want to talk about anxiety and imposter syndrome. And more importantly, I want to say this on the

record. Anxiety and imposter syndrome are not the problem. The problem is thinking we shouldn't

feel them.

Okay, on today's episode of Stillness in the Storms, I'm going to talk about my journey with imposter syndrome

and anxiety and my experience of it. So, is anxiety and imposter syndrome a real big problem? Those

voices inside of our head that, you know, are they the problem or do we. Should we get rid of

them? What should we do with them, how to deal with them, how to get over them and things like

that. That's on today's episode. So welcome to Stillness in the Storms. I'm Steven Webb, your host, and this podcast

just helps you through some of life's more difficult challenges. So I don't have adverts on my podcast. It's paid

for by people like you that just donates and treats me to a coffee, and that helps to pay for

the hosting, the editing, all the promotion, and all that so I don't have to bore you with some adverts

before you get to the podcast. So thank you to all of you that donate and support and pay monthly.

You guys are awesome. We do have a Whatsapp group that you can join, and sometimes it's really active, sometimes

a little bit quiet. It's not a completely in your face one. It's not. And we do some accountability. We're

working out exactly what we're going to do with it. So if you'd like to join that if you become

a donator, any amount of money, any amount of you donate, one coffee and you're welcome to join. But

anyway, let's get on with today's episode. So I was asked by Toby in the group about imposter syndrome and

anxiety, and it made me think about. And it's been a couple of weeks now since he asked, and I've

been really thinking about it. When I'm sitting in council meetings and I'm doing my thing and driving around in

my chair, and I really suffer from imposter syndrome. I don't think for a minute I should be there. I

don't think when I look around, I see accountants and architects and lawyers and solicitors, and these people who

have been travelling around the world doing their professional business. And I'm sat there thinking, do you know what? I'm

here because partly I'm in a wheelchair. And maybe people vote for me because they feel sorry for me. Or

maybe they vote for me because they think it's a different angle. But I didn't go to university. I didn't

go and get any qualifications. I haven't got any letters after my name. You know, I didn't even pass my

Gcses at school. I can barely read through a book without it driving me crazy and struggling. You know, I

am really that 33 book reader and I'm just learning that's okay. And every room, every meeting I

go into. I'm a trustee of a local charity, Cep and Community Energy plus, and they help out with some

government money, some money from different sources. They help people that cannot afford to pay their bills, mainly their

gas and electric, and they might help them to replace the boiler if it's getting too old and to be

more energy efficient. And also they give advice to

companies to become more carbon zero and helping out the environment and all that. So it's a good all-round brilliant

charity. And I sit in with the other trustees and I think, oh, wow, I shouldn't really be here. I

haven't got the depth you guys have got. You've got years of being an architect, you've got years of working

in the health sector and all that. What have I got? Yeah, they welcome me and I even sent an

email when I got elected on Cornwall Council and I looked up and said, well, I feel like I've ruined

my place now. And one of them got back, you've always been here, you've ruined your place. But you know

what I mean, it's like we don't very often we think we don't deserve the place, but we do absolutely

deserve the place And I'm going to share one more story before I get on to my advice and my

thinking. I was mayor at this point for three weeks and I was invited to a climate change conference. So

I went there. It was at the alberton hotel and talking to talking to people and all that. And I

knew I was on the panel that afternoon for a Q A So they set up a table up the

top of the room and there's room full of chairs and all that. And I was on the left hand

side of the panel, as you look at the panel. And next to me was an expert from university at

Exeter that he'd wrote books, he'd done all these things about climate change. Next to him was someone that was

part of setting up. Oh, no, it was the cabinet holder for the environment for Cornwall Council.

And then next to him was. I

think it's the person that was partly to do with organizing the event itself. And they had a real big

background. So all these people have presented and done something during the day. And here I was just the mayor

of Truho. And the first question come along and I was like, please don't come to me. Whatever you do,

don't ask. And there was someone there comparing it, and someone asked in the audience about climate change and what

we're going to do and the big picture and all that, and how do we align, how do we get

everybody on board to try to do some of it? And I'm firmly in climate change. I think just laying

my cards out there. I think humans are causing it in a much faster, rapid way than it ever happened

before. In my trees I used to say it's not real, because I knew more than all the climate. I

wouldn't have suffered from imposter syndrome in my 20s. You know, I knew all. I knew more than all of

the climate change experts at that point. And I used to say, well, the earth warmed up 6 000 years

ago and they want a four by four Then I knew nothing. So the irony is, when I didn't have

imposter syndrome, I thought I knew everything. There you go. And it just makes me laugh when I think about

it. But I was there, sat on the end, and that big question come along. How do we align people?

How do we get people behind it? And I was just, like, looking at resting And they passed the mic

to me. Here I was holding the mic, and we each had about three minutes to answer. And bear in

mind, the guy sat next to me was the person that had done the lectures already that day. And I

started, I said, look, here's the thing.

I don't talk to anybody that doesn't believe they want to live in a healthy environment full of parks

and nature and clear air. So whether you believe in climate change or not, how about we just focus

on creating an Earth that we all want to live in? And I said that in about three minutes. So

I probably rambled it, but that's the gist of what I said. And then they passed the mic to the

next guy and he looked up and said what? He just said. I couldn't say it better. And in that

moment, my imposter syndrome didn't disappear. I thought it had for like three weeks. I was, like,

jumping in the air. And so there I was without imposter syndrome, all done yeah It doesn't work like that.

If I was, a few weeks later, in another meeting, chairing the Council feeling absolutely gentle terrified not thinking I'm

up for the job or not thinking I'm qualified to be there. And over the past two or three years,

probably, I don't know, probably four years since then, I've learned that my anxiety doesn't

go, my imposter syndrome doesn't go. It's still there even when you get more and more qualified. More and more

meetings. Right now I've got to write in a page of explaining why I would be a

good vice chair person for one of the committees, but I haven't wrote it yet because I'm thinking I haven't

got the qualifications to do that. These councillors are way more qualified than me. They're older than me, they're more

cleverer than me they've got all these different qualifications under their belt. But yet I chaired planning for a year,

I chaired whole church city council I. I've chaired the finance now for last year. You know, I

have. If I read my Cv and

it was someone else's name at the top, I would have a different opinion. And I know it's easy for

me to sit here and say, well, I've done these things. I now don't. The point is, my anxiety my

imposter syndrome is no different today than what it was when I had nothing, when I had no experience.

And the same the anxiety, to the point where we had the first full council meeting two weeks ago, Tuesday,

and I left the house that morning. I had to get my carer to get a jug because I was

feeling so sick. I was literally sat next to the bed guy I can't go I feel sick. And I

was urging and everything. It doesn't go. And I think on that point, just the same

as I talk on podcasts all the time about these 10 000 voices Listen to the voice, but don't make

that voice the one in charge of you. That's the important part. The voice is okay, that voice of anxiety,

that voice of imposter syndrome, just to go, hey, are you sure you know what you're doing? I don't think

you do. And the anxiety, you go, get out of it. Get out of here at all costs. And then

another voice comes in and goes, no, hang on a minute, you guys. Thank you for putting your nose in,

but it was okay last time. Perhaps we can do it. Perhaps we can sort it. And that's what it

is, that inner dialogue in your mind that I used to hate. That inner dialogue is just sorting out the

voices, sorting out things I don't mean voices. Like, are you Going mad. You got voices. We've all got voices

in our head. Well, I found out recently not everybody. Everybody's saying everybody that's got empathy. Anybody that has

got any kind of um awareness of awareness probably has voices in their head. That is

second guessing things. And I think that's okay. I think we should embrace those voices.

Just don't give any of the voices way too much power. The problem is if we listen to them too

much and give them all the power, they take over. They're in charge. It'd be like sitting there and the

voice of anxiety is like a six, seven year old. The voice of imposter syndrome is probably the teenager age

where the teacher and you didn't think you were qualified to read loud at school and things like that or

something happened on your early years of working and all. And that narrative all the time is the voice is

from a certain time and an age but it's part of who you are. And I think that's okay. My

voice of seven years old that's still trying to fix the whole world. Still gets upset now because it realizes

it can't. And on that weight of the Cornwall Council on my head, I just had to pause this um

recording because someone's just phoned me about a family that may end up homeless in the next seven days because

of something. And I'm like, oh, my God, how do I do it? How can I help? How can I

fix this? But you do what you can from where you are and you realise that. Thank you. That seven

year old for deeply caring. But the adult has got to also say thank you. You've put your bit across.

I now need to do what I can. And then someone says, well, that's worthless, that's the pain but what's

the point? Or whatever it's like. And then another voice comes in and that's it. That's the dialogue. I think

that's perfectly normal dialogue. I hope you can still hear me over the dog next door. It's part of the

podcast and It's part of life do you know It's so nice to hear kids out playing next door. And

we've had an elderly gentleman living next door to me for years. They've been there for over 40 years. They

weren't elderly clearly 40 40 years ago, but he passed away after. Been there a long, long time. And now

we've got a younger family in there and it's lovely to hear the kids. And I'm no longer waiting for

silence for the kids to stop playing to record a podcast I'm just going to Record it anyway. And if

you can hear the kids or the dog, it's part of it. So, yeah, going back to imposter syndrome and

all that, it is what it is. The main thing is if you look at it, a room full of

your voices, and if that 12 year old stands up and you're the adult there, you're sharing these

voices and that adult stat that 12 year old stands up and says, you're not worthy, you're not, you shouldn't

be here. You should go back in the hole You shouldn't bother trying. You're going to go, look, thank you,

you've had your say. Could you please sit down a moment? I appreciate what you've got to say, but can

you please sit down? Anybody else got something to say? And allow the other voices to have their say as

well. The brave one that stands up and says, do you know what, I think you should do it anyway.

I think you've got something to say. And then that brave voice is accompanied by a few other voices.

That one fear voice stands up and goes look I'm frightened, but

I'm going to keep quiet because I'm going to let courage take over here. And it sounds so simple, but

it is simple. But it's not simple. It's it's the paradox of the podcast, the explaining it, the book, the

psychology book, all these self-improvement books That's the simple part. And we've simplified it right down to a meme on

Instagram right now. You know, imposter syndrome is not a problem. Listen to the voices, but don't let them take

control. We've simplified it down so much now that we're finding it hard to realise it's that

simple. And it is and it isn't. The difficult part of it is doing it again and again and again

and just coming back to it. Okay, it's back. Hi, how are you today?

Like an annoying little lad down the road that comes up every morning. Hey, how are you doing? Can I

walk down the road with you and just tell you about my book? I keep reading, tell you about trains.

It's like, okay, here we are again. Go for it. And that's what it is. It's about touching it lightly.

It's about not denying. I think it also comes back to the fact that we're trying to make everything the

way we want it for comfort. We're trying to control the outside world and we're trying to. I want to

be part of it. I want to step up and I want to do that. But can I do it

in My time when I'm ready. And it doesn't happen like that. You know, it's like the new firefighter, he's

just finished his training. He's already. It's like a great big fire breaks out. Not yet. Just

give me a few weeks. I want a few small ones first, please. But you wouldn't say to that firefighter,

I don't want you here. You haven't done long enough. You're gonna go go for it. And that's the point.

You need to go for it. You need to do whatever you're doing. So the anxiety and the

fear and imposter syndrome, humbling voices and the last thing I'm going to say, and this is really important, I

was talking to a friend the other day about this subject

and I would rather sit in a room full of people with imposter syndrome than I ever would

sit in a room full of people that don't believe they have it. Because they're the people that are authentic

and true and genuine and second guess they're the people that will stop things burning down

because they'll go, just pause a minute, let me get my thoughts, let me get my bearings right.

Doesn't mean to say we don't go ahead. It just means we need to think about it for a moment.

And if you're not in touch with anxiety, if you're not in touch with those fears, then they're going to

come up anyway. They'll just be louder. You know, I heard a quote, I don't know, a few years ago

and it went something like this. Confidence isn't the absence of self-doubt it's showing up anyway. Do you know

what? Just to hold the room, just to be there. It's not about confidence. It's not about knowing that you've

got all the answers, but it's knowing you've got a little something to contribute and you don't know, that's the

other thing. This is the last thing. Maybe you don't know if the one percent of

knowledge that you believe you have to be there is not the one percent knowledge that they absolutely need on

that day. There you go. Just like that. I want to do a Sheldon and go bazinga.

If you ever watched that program, I can't remember what it is. It's funny anyway,

right? I'm gonna leave it at that for now. Hopefully that helps. Hopefully that. Just listen to the voices, allow

them to have their say, but don't let them take control. You've got a thousand voices inside. Everyone is a

fragment, not the full story. Listen to them and don't let any of them take the wheel. That's today's

story. That's today's message. Thank you for donating. Thank you for supporting. Thank you for sharing. You are absolutely awesome

and I love you.