Episode Description:

In this very special kickoff to Season 2 of Systemize Her, I honor my late mother, Martha Tyler, on what would have been her 65th birthday. Join me as I share three powerful life lessons she taught me that continue to influence my business journey. From facing challenges head-on to embracing rest and making informed decisions, these lessons go beyond personal wisdom—they offer practical insights for entrepreneurs like you!

Whether you're navigating the early stages of business or scaling to new heights, this episode will provide encouragement and actionable takeaways.

In This Episode, You’ll Learn:

• Lesson 1: How to overcome intimidation in business by studying your competition and finding your unique edge.
• Lesson 2: The importance of rest and reflection as a vital part of productivity and creativity.
• Lesson 3: Why gathering information is crucial for making informed decisions, whether in business or life.

Episode Highlights:

• [00:00:00] – Welcome to Season 2 of Systemize Her!
• [00:02:00] – A tribute to my mom, Martha Tyler, on her 65th birthday.
• [00:04:00] – Lesson 1: "Beat Up the Bully" and what it means for entrepreneurs.
• [00:09:00] – Lesson 2: Why rest is necessary for personal and business growth.
• [00:15:00] – Lesson 3: The importance of doing your research before making any big moves.
• [00:21:00] – Closing thoughts and how you can leave a review to support the show.

If you found value in today’s episode, please take a moment to leave a review! Your feedback helps others discover the podcast and means the world to me.

Tune in every Wednesday for new episodes!

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K66-1: She's back.

2

Hey, Hey.

3

Hey, y'all it's your host, Leah

and I am back for episode one.

4

For the systemize, her podcast.

5

If you're an OJI, then you

already know that we are actually

6

in season two and we are back.

7

However, if you're new

here, just to recap.

8

Last season, the podcast was

called systemize, your side hustle.

9

And we have gone through a

name change in the interim.

10

So we are back with the systemize,

her podcast, where we will

11

be from now until evermore.

12

Welcome back to the new season.

13

Welcome to another episode

again, I am your host, Leah.

14

And today is a very special episode.

15

I wanted to make sure that the podcast

was going to air on this specific day.

16

I am actually recording the day before.

17

For a very specific reason.

18

Today is October 22nd.

19

You will be listening to this podcast

on October 23rd, but I wanted to record.

20

Specifically the day before the

podcast with air, because today

21

would be my mom's 65th birthday.

22

If you are not aware, my mum passed

away about three years ago from cancer.

23

And of course that takes

a toll on a person.

24

However, there are things that

happen and I just want to make

25

sure that I like pay homage to her.

26

That specific times of the year.

27

That I just make sure to show my

mom love, even though she is not

28

here on earth with us anymore.

29

So today is going to be a very

special birthday episode for my mom.

30

My mom, wasn't like a super

profound person however, there

31

were a few times where she said

something that was repetitive.

32

And I was just kind of reflecting on

the things that she's taught me, the

33

lessons that I've learned from her.

34

And I decided it would be a

really good and fun episode.

35

To highlight some of those profound

statements that she did make, like

36

I said, there's not a ton of them,

but there were a few where I'm like,

37

Ooh, those are good lessons that

I carry with me in life, but also.

38

To make it applicable.

39

They can relate to business as well.

40

So it's kind of funny

when I was growing up.

41

I didn't really think of.

42

My upbringing as being like super

entrepreneurial or anything.

43

Like some people are like,

oh my parents own businesses,

44

blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

45

And I actually never even

realized that that was a big

46

part of my life until recently.

47

When I was young, my mom

had a at-home daycare.

48

So she had her own at-home

daycare that she ran.

49

And I don't know exactly how

many kids that she had, but

50

I know there was quite a few.

51

So she did that when I was young.

52

And then right before she moved from

San Antonio to Dallas here with me,

53

she did make or try another go at it.

54

It didn't quite work out this time.

55

And she ended up moving

very shortly after.

56

So it kind of worked out

that it didn't work out.

57

But she had.

58

Experience with entrepreneurship

in running her own home daycare.

59

So that was my mom.

60

And then my dad actually did home health

for a while, and I don't know a ton of the

61

behind the scenes details of that, but I

know that he did have a lot of autonomy

62

in his schedule and all that stuff.

63

I would say that he probably had.

64

Some entrepreneurial experience as well.

65

Just a little side note.

66

I didn't really think of my

parents as entrepreneurs.

67

However, now that I am

looking back, they were.

68

And so some of the lessons that

my mom taught me, honestly, they

69

have nothing to do with business.

70

I was able to reflect on them.

71

Like I said, and think about them in a way

that's like, okay, how is this applicable?

72

To business though.

73

And so today I'm going to talk about

how some of these things that she

74

said can apply to business, but also

just the context that she used them

75

in and how they apply to my life.

76

What I think about all the time.

77

I wanted to give that quick introduction.

78

However, before we get into the

episode, let's pay some bills.

79

All right, we are back and we are

going to jump right into our lessons.

80

So lesson number one.

81

That came from Ms.

82

Martha Tyler.

83

Beat up the bully.

84

So my mom.

85

For some reason.

86

I don't know if it was experience or like,

fear that something would happen to us.

87

I'm not sure.

88

But she would always give us like,

Lessons on how to get in a fight or like

89

what we should do if we were to ever

get in a fight or anything like that.

90

And so one thing that I

remember her saying all the

91

time is to beat up the bully.

92

Like if a bunch of people are trying to.

93

Beat up on you or team up on you

or anything like that, that you

94

find the biggest strongest one, the

leader, and you just beat them up.

95

So it would hopefully like scare

off the other kids or whatever.

96

I will say that my brother and I

were never in a situation where

97

we needed to use this information.

98

So I'm not really sure why it came up

numerous times throughout our childhood.

99

However, I have.

100

Kept that with me all the time, just in

case I ever get in a fight with a bunch of

101

people, I know that I should beat up the

bully and hopefully I will win my fight.

102

Food for thought.

103

If you ever need it, there you go.

104

You're welcome.

105

But I thought of this and I was

like, you know, this can really

106

apply in business as well because.

107

Although we don't necessarily

have bullies in business.

108

I want to take that negative

connotation away from it.

109

In this analogy, the bully is not

necessarily someone that is bullying

110

you or beating up on you, but.

111

A bully is normally someone

that is intimidating someone

112

that you're afraid of.

113

And you see them and you

immediately feel fear.

114

So sometimes when there is someone

that we have identified as.

115

A person that's in the same niche as us.

116

That's doing better than us.

117

We tend to be fearful of that person, or

we have this scarcity mindset and we're

118

like, Ooh, I'm a little bit afraid of what

this person can do, because I feel like

119

they are doing better than me in some way.

120

It's not that you should

beat up the bully.

121

But you want to look for those

who are the leaders in your niche?

122

When we're talking about beating

up the bully, that doesn't mean

123

that doesn't mean that you go find Amy

Porterfield because you also create

124

courses and you try to beat her down.

125

That's not what I'm

talking about here, please.

126

Don't do that.

127

What I am saying though.

128

Is that you say, Hey, Amy is

someone that I look up to.

129

I think that she has done

an amazing job in her space.

130

And although I am also teaching in

that same space about this same niche.

131

I feel like I need to

kind of go after her.

132

I need to study her.

133

I need to learn from her.

134

I need to do all of the

things that I can do.

135

To find out how it is that

she got to where she is.

136

And I want to go after that information.

137

I want to study her as a person.

138

I want to study how she got there.

139

Rather than being scared of those people

that are doing better than you, where

140

those quote unquote, bullies you want

to really think about what are they

141

doing well, what are they not doing?

142

What gaps can you fill?

143

There is this thought that there's

not room for a lot of people,

144

that the market is saturated, that

there just isn't space for you.

145

That she'll be repetitive.

146

And I just want to remind you

that there is space for all of us.

147

In my own business, I have

intentionally sought out.

148

People that are in the system space.

149

And I intentionally.

150

Seek out those that are

women of color as well.

151

And I do that because I want to

be aware of those people that

152

look like me in this space.

153

I want to be aware of what people

are talking about in my space, but

154

I also want to find those leaders.

155

I'm still learning and

growing my business.

156

And so I love to find people that are a

step two steps, three steps ahead of me.

157

So that I can be inspired by them.

158

They are the quote unquote bully

in this case, but not because

159

they're doing anything wrong.

160

They're just someone where

I'm a little bit intimidated.

161

I'm like, Ooh, this person

is doing what I want to do.

162

Or this person is doing really well.

163

At their specific niche in the

systems industry, because it is

164

a little bit of a broad area.

165

So I can look at them and say, Hey,

they're not doing exactly what I

166

want to do, but they are someone that

could be seen as a competitor of mine.

167

And I don't want to be

fearful of this person.

168

I don't want to shy away from it.

169

I may feel a little bit of imposter

syndrome, even when I'm thinking about

170

doing the same thing as this person.

171

But that's someone that I want to study.

172

I want to learn from.

173

I am seeking them out intentionally

because I think of them as a leader in the

174

niche and I am trying to learn from them.

175

I think that this beat up

the bully lesson is funny.

176

A little odd, however,

177

Surprisingly, it's something

that I have used regularly.

178

As I'm thinking about.

179

How to tackle this intimidating

online space in the business world.

180

So that is lesson number one from my mom.

181

Lesson number two.

182

Also kind of a.

183

Funny little saying.

184

So my mom Lega said she had a job.

185

When I was younger, where she

owned her own business in.

186

She owned her own daycare.

187

She also worked in education

for the majority of my business.

188

However, before I was born,

she told me about probably two

189

or three jobs that she held.

190

That had nothing to do with

education and from the sounds of it.

191

She hated all of them.

192

I do not know that my mom was

built for customer service.

193

And so she's got some

very funny stories about.

194

Working for KFC about working.

195

I think it was like a call center

for American airlines or something.

196

And then there was another job.

197

I don't really remember what it was.

198

It was some sort of.

199

Customer service job though.

200

And she had a boss who sounds like

they were not a very nice person.

201

And they would walk in and if

they were kind of sitting around

202

just like not really doing much.

203

She'd say y'all are sitting in

here, like a bird on a wire.

204

So my mom would use

that every now and then.

205

And she'd be like sitting

like a bird on a wire.

206

If we were just kind of, not really

doing anything productive with ourselves.

207

Although that's like a

weird little funny thing.

208

Let's break it down and

think about it a little more.

209

I am not a bird person.

210

If you know me, I'm actually

very afraid of birds.

211

I do not mess with them.

212

They don't mess with me.

213

We just, we're not, we're not friends.

214

Not a big bird person.

215

However, That means that I

am very conscious of when

216

there's a lot of birds around.

217

Have you ever looked up?

218

On like a power line or whatever, and

seeing the whole thing full of birds.

219

I don't know if you've noticed

that I noticed that every single

220

time I drive past, because I'm

like, what are y'all applauding?

221

What are y'all planning?

222

Y'all look suspicious, but those

birds are just kinda sitting there

223

keeping themselves warm, I guess,

maybe on that thing, resting.

224

They are not necessarily

doing anything productive.

225

They're just kind of chilling.

226

Bird sitting on a wire.

227

I would imagine that in that

birds little life, sometimes

228

they have long distances to fly.

229

Sometimes they have nests to

build, they have things to do.

230

I would imagine that when they're sitting.

231

On that wire that they are resting.

232

Okay.

233

When I'm thinking of that, I think about

the fact that sometimes we don't take

234

time to sit like a little bird on a wire.

235

We are constantly doing, doing, doing.

236

And I can speak for myself when

I say there are a lot of times

237

where I look up and I'm like,

I've had the full day off yet.

238

My feet are hurting.

239

Why do my feet hurt on my day off?

240

Because I did not take any time that

day to sit down, I am just going,

241

going, going up, doing this, moving

that, hanging this cleaning that

242

just constantly doing something.

243

Sometimes I need to sit

like a bird on the wire.

244

Yes.

245

There's work to be done.

246

Yes.

247

There will be traveling

that needs to be had.

248

There will be nest that need

to be built, but for right now,

249

I need to just sit and chill.

250

Although my mom's old bad boss.

251

Had that saying, it sounds

like in a negative connotation.

252

The times that I heard my mom say it to me

was kind of teasingly when I was just kind

253

of resting and not really doing anything.

254

And even as a kid or a teenager,

I was very busy all the time.

255

We had lots of activities, lots

of fun things that we were doing.

256

So we were just always very busy.

257

So if we're kind of sitting around or

laying around like a bird on a wire,

258

it was kind of few and far between.

259

And so when she said it

teasingly to me or my brother.

260

I don't really think that she was being

negative in the way that her boss,

261

it sounds like was I took that lesson

and I've kind of used it in business.

262

Like sometimes you need to just

sit down, be quiet and relax.

263

Recently, I have made it a point to try

to do that, which is if you know me,

264

you know, that is very difficult for me.

265

And so I will set a timer for

like five minutes or something.

266

And just lay on my bed at night.

267

I will put my phone down.

268

I'm like, literally not doing anything.

269

Just sitting, resting.

270

Not doing a single thing and I

get so much clarity sometimes.

271

From just doing that five

minutes of relaxation.

272

I would like to do more of that.

273

However, you got to start somewhere

right now, I'm starting with my

274

five minutes and I'm using that

as a little bit of rest time.

275

As a busy working mom there's times when I

really just have to slow down, take a step

276

back, observe, or really just do nothing.

277

This lesson right here really

taught me that we don't always

278

have to be in hustle mode.

279

Sometimes sitting back gives you the

insight that you needed to move forward.

280

With confidence, feeling well,

rested, replenish, rejuvenated,

281

all of the things that you need

to be successful and productive.

282

So that is lesson number two.

283

From my mom.

284

Lesson number three is probably the

one that stands out the most to me.

285

And this is the one that I probably

use the most out of all of them.

286

However, before I get into it,

let's take a very quick break.

287

We are back.

288

I vividly.

289

Remember when I was getting ready

to go to college, I was trying to

290

choose a school and there were a

lot of factors to consider one.

291

I knew that we did not

have a ton of money.

292

To spend on paying for college.

293

So that was something that I needed to

be cognizant of is how much was this,

294

whatever school I picked going to cost.

295

My mom was very fearful

of me going far away.

296

And so that was something else that

I had to keep in mind is, was I

297

going to go against the grain and.

298

Travel far away.

299

Or was I going to stay a little

closer to home to make her happy?

300

I also needed to find a place

301

that had my major, of course.

302

That had good reviews

and things like that.

303

I was worried about having

a good social lives.

304

So there were a lot of different

factors that were contributing to.

305

The school that I wanted to go to.

306

So I remember talking to my mom and

I was just telling her that I got to

307

think about this, this, this, and this.

308

And she told me, do your research.

309

This was not the first time

that I had ever heard her.

310

Tell me this.

311

My mom was very, very big on.

312

Doing your research or gathering

all of the necessary information.

313

If you were going to make a decision

about something, if you're going

314

to make a decision, it needed

to be an informed decision.

315

So you needed to do your research,

gather the facts before you make move.

316

In business, obviously this is everything.

317

Whether it is doing research on

your audience or the new tools that

318

you're going to use to streamline

your workflow, doing research ensures

319

that you're not only wasting time or

money, but that you are well-informed

320

before you make a decision.

321

In the system space.

322

It is so important that

you do your research.

323

I can give you tool

recommendations all day long.

324

However, there are so many

intricacies and features and things

325

that go along with each different.

326

With every different system tool

that it's important that you

327

do your research outside of the

information that I give you.

328

And that is not because

I can't be trusted.

329

I think I'm very trustee or

trustworthy, whatever the word is.

330

But.

331

You have to do your research.

332

You have to know why this thing

will or will not work for you

333

and be able to speak to that.

334

It is so important to know the facts

before you get into something new.

335

Whether it is using a new tech

tool or even something as big

336

as launching a new product.

337

Doing your research means

that you're being prepared.

338

You are making sure that you know, all

of the information that you need to be

339

able to make an informed decision so

that if something comes up, you're not

340

saying, oh man, I didn't know that.

341

One way that I know for sure that a

lot of us do our research is tick tock.

342

If you were going to travel to

another city for the first time.

343

What do you do?

344

I know for me, I go to tic talk and

I say things to do in blah-blah-blah

345

place, things to do in Dallas, things

to do in Chicago, things to do in

346

new Orleans things to do in New York.

347

I want to know what people do.

348

And.

349

If, you know, you know, I say things

to do in Dallas, black people.

350

So that I can figure out what

people do that look like me.

351

I also just recently did a lot of research

when it came to being a lunch mom.

352

So if you have been following my

Instagram stories Over the last few

353

weeks then, you know, I have been battling

my four year old with making lunches.

354

I have never been a mom that makes school

lunch before my four year old is just

355

now going to school for the first time.

356

So what did I do?

357

I went to tech talk and I'm like, Hey.

358

Show me some.

359

School lunch ideas for kids.

360

I have got to figure this out.

361

Tick tock gave me some great

ideas and things to try.

362

Most of them did not work

if you've been watching.

363

However, I did my research on

the tech talk and I came up

364

with or got some information.

365

I was able to gather all of the facts,

gather everything that I knew and

366

translate that over so that as I'm

making these school lunches, they are.

367

It is not difficult for me.

368

It's something that was new for me.

369

So it's not like I was going to

think of these ideas on my own.

370

I needed some influence.

371

I needed to do my research that I

could figure it out with college.

372

As I was saying at the

beginning of my story.

373

I did a ton of research and

ultimately ended up landing on

374

a school that was close to home.

375

That was going to give me.

376

A full ride to go to that school.

377

It offered the nursing program that I

wanted and it had a lot of other great.

378

Things.

379

That allow me to get a great education.

380

And now I am the person that I am today.

381

Doing your research is so beneficial.

382

And that probably is the biggest

lesson that I have learned from my mom.

383

So just as a quick recap, the

lessons that Martha taught me.

384

Is beat up the bully.

385

Sometimes you got to sit like a

bird on a wire and do your this

386

has been a very quick episode.

387

However, this is a very special episode.

388

I wanted to make sure

that this episode was.

389

Recorded and available

to you to listen to.

390

On this day as the first episode of season

two for the first year of my podcast,

391

because it was just

really important to me.

392

She would be so excited

that this is even happening.

393

She would be very supportive of the show.

394

And of everything that I'm doing,

everything that I'm learning.

395

She would have.

396

Probably not a ton of experience in

doing it, but she was one that would

397

still just be very supportive of the

decisions that we made as long as

398

they weren't like anything crazy.

399

I thought it would be

really special to do.

400

The season to kickoff on

her birthday as just a.

401

Tribute paying homage to her

and all of the support that she

402

gave me throughout the years.

403

So

404

I won't be too long winded.

405

I hope that although this

episode was special to me, I

406

hope you still found value in it.

407

And

408

I would love if you.

409

Use today as the day that you say I'm

going to leave a review for this podcast.

410

All reviews are great.

411

I love you guys.

412

I really appreciate your reviews, but I

think it would be really nice just to see

413

how many people are actually listening.

414

How many people cared about this episode?

415

Enough to show me some

love in the reviews.

416

I will.

417

Let you go.

418

Remember, we are here every Wednesday.

419

Same time, same place.

420

I'll be back next week for a new episode.

421

Of the systemize, her podcast.

422

Bye for now.