Jessica Heriot stops by the crabshed and we talk about growing up at the mouth of the Columbia River, her photography business, relationships, social medial, and alternative ideologies, mixed in-and-between personal stories and anecdotes. The last half hour is where I launch into the good stuff (conspiracies, aliens, spirituality, etc) and Jessica politely humors me as I go over some whacky shit. She was a good sport and I had a lot of fun.

We have a lot of good laughs and keep the tone light and easy. This episode is full of stories, shoutouts, and goofiness, but we also go into some of the lessons we have learned from our past mistakes and some of that is more serious. Overall, we cover a lot of ground and have a few laughs along the way. I hope you enjoy and thank you for listening!

Jessica was a fun guest and she is a very talented photographer. She does family photos, new babies, graduations, and of course weddings. My wife and I have hired her on several occasions and we always love our pictures. If you want to contact her for business inquiries, here is her info...

website: https://jessicaheriotphotography.com (JessicaHeriotPhotography.com)

instagram: @jessicaheriotphotography

Links:

Business inquiries/guest booking: Ramblebytheriver@gmail.com

Website: https://my.captivate.fm/Ramblebytheriver.captivate.fm (Ramblebytheriver.captivate.fm)

Facebook: Jeff Nesbitt (Ramble by the River)https://www.facebook.com/jeff.nesbitt.9619 (https://www.facebook.com/jeff.nesbitt.9619)

Instagram: https://instagram.com/ramblebytheriver?r=nametag (@ramblebytheriver) 

Twitter: @RambleRiverPod

Youtube: https://youtube.com/channel/UCNiZ9OBYRxF3fJ4XcsDxLeg (https://youtube.com/channel/UCNiZ9OBYRxF3fJ4XcsDxLeg)

Music Credit(s):

Still Fly, Revel Day.

Topics/Keywords:

Covid-19 restrictions, mask rules, photography, family photography, wedding photography, photo editing, film photography, digital photography, cheerleading, dance, coaching, volunteering, technology, smart phones, Apple computers, Android, Windows PCs, Art Institute of Portland, small business, entrepreneurship, Psychology, geo-tagging, Chinook, Columbia River, social media optimization, hashtags, Social Media Marketing, marketing strategy, insomnia, circadian rhythm, community, introvert, extrovert, anxiety, time perception, knotweed, Knapton, sibling rivalry, cannabis, University of Washington,  Portland Oregon, Seattle Washington, Portland riots, homelessness, homeless vibes, cryptocurrency, Bitcoin, Elon Musk, Twitter, trains, Amtrak, train accidents, marriage, divorce, divorce rates, Identity, Education, spotlight effect, gender, The Gendered Society, mate selection, compatibility, kitchen remodel, electrical work, romantic love, companionate love, gym, couples activities, working out, weight lifting, body pump class, rowing, ergometer, running, treadmill running, food, cooking, Hello Fresh, Door Dash, existential threats, philosophy, solar flares, economics, economic stimulus payments, mass coronal ejections, Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, Twitter, UFOs, aliens, NAVY UFOs, tic tac UFO, Project: Bluebeam, Qanon, Jeffrey Epstein.

Ramble by the River episode 29 Jessica Heriot

[00:00:18]You can find ramble by the river on Instagram, at ramble, by the river. On twitter at ramble river pod and on facebook just by searching for ramble by the river or jeff Nesbit.

[00:00:29] It is Saturday, May 29th, 2021. And we've got a great show for you today.

[00:00:54] I never really knew her when we were younger as kids, just because she was enough ahead of me to where [00:01:00] we just didn't really have a lot of interaction. But her dad owned the local convenience store, which was right by where my dad's body shop was. So I used to walk there all the time. It was really, it was a major contributor to my weight problem.

[00:01:33] But no. I don't know. My dad would go. Uh, the, the lady who made the good soup, dad, I forgot her name, but anyway, she would do this deal where, you know, I'd be like, Hey, do you mind if I, maybe instead of the Joe Joe's. Actually it started with the potato chips instead of those damn plain Lay's potato chips.

[00:02:07] They have ice cream case and , I don't remember how I got it, but I, at some point I ended up with some coupons for free ice cream cones. So I basically was just living the little chubby boys dream. I had this access to cash money. And ice cream. And chicken fingers. , all boy could ask for.

[00:02:56] And yeah, so I thought she'd be a good guest on the podcast and she [00:03:00] was, so I hope you guys enjoy listening to the conversation. There's some points in there that, uh, you can totally tell. She's not. Completely comfortable with the conversation and she was a great sport about it. She didn't. You know, clam up or anything. She, she did her best to give her opinions on things that she clearly stated. She wasn't interested in.

[00:03:45] And , she got a lot of stuff posted there and it's really good stuff. It'll give you an idea at least of what she does. And then if you're ever in the market for a photographer, I highly recommend Jessica services. She's very good. The pictures she takes are excellent. But beyond that, [00:04:00] she's really good at.

[00:04:25] I need someone to be like very specific, like put your left hand right there on her hip, put your right hand over here on the shoulder. And I put a look on your face as if you just tried some cantaloupe and you've always hated cantaloupe, but this time, all of a sudden you're like, I don't hate cantaloupe. It's actually delicious. Put that look on your face and snap. That's how they capture magic.

[00:05:04] Yeah. Without further ado. Please enjoy this conversation with the lovely and talented Jessica Harriet. I love you guys. Bye

[00:00:11] No photography this weekend.

[00:00:19] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:00:19] bad weather

[00:00:24] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:00:24] can be tricky. Um, so you're right over here. Make yourself comfortable.

[00:00:34] Jessica Heriot: [00:00:34] is it? Is it or either way for you with not really? Oh man. Yeah. Podcast

[00:00:47] Jessica Heriot: [00:00:47] No, I can do what you gotta do. I don't care. Okay. So I moved my crochet. I had my coffee.

[00:00:55] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:00:55] honestly, if you want to, that's totally fine. Um, I also have tea set up on the [00:01:00] princess tea set if you want tea.

[00:01:08] Those are great days. Yeah. I was like, oh, I must be feeling good. I must've got some wrestler,

[00:01:18] Jessica Heriot: [00:01:18] Thank you. Did you paint all this?

[00:01:25] Jessica Heriot: [00:01:25] Do the kids help at all? Or?

[00:01:38] Jessica Heriot: [00:01:38] Yeah. Like I have have a plan envision. Yeah. I was expecting rain and clouds today.

[00:02:01] I'm cool with that.

[00:02:28] Jessica Heriot: [00:02:28] pictures.

[00:02:44] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:02:44] if you do. It's all right there. All right.

[00:02:51] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:02:51] Getting there. I need to get power out here. Oh. As you can see on extension cord, but work in [00:03:00] progress. Yeah.

[00:03:04] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:03:04] Well, we launched the first episode in January, January 18th. Nice. I started doing the studio mid December and I've been planning it just like in my head for like three years.

[00:03:42] Jessica Heriot: [00:03:42] Yep. Kind of set in our routines.

[00:03:49] Jessica Heriot: [00:03:49] you know, I did tell him like there's silver linings to everything and I really think there were some good things that came out of a tough time.

[00:04:01] Yeah.

[00:04:09] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:04:09] and sometimes it can be a little bit. Uh, I don't know, insensitive to like, try to find the silver lining one half a million people die,

[00:04:25] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:04:25] It changed a lot about the way we live. Oh yeah. And some of it's never going to go back.

[00:04:42] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:04:42] the mask status are we allowed to not mask in public now?

[00:04:47] Jessica Heriot: [00:04:47] I don't really

[00:04:50] Jessica Heriot: [00:04:50] attention to it cause I'm like, I don't really know how to follow.

[00:05:01] Jessica Heriot: [00:05:01] How's it feel to have them off?

[00:05:03] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:05:03] So good. They, they, like I heard on the radio that they were releasing the, the mask rule. Like literally the day I got them off, it was like, now you, if you have your vaccination, you don't have

[00:05:24] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:05:24] going to,

[00:05:26] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:05:26] no I'm used to it.

[00:05:30] Jessica Heriot: [00:05:30] Yeah. Cause people at the gym have stopped wearing them, but I still wear mine just cause I'm like, I'm just kind of used to, I don't know, like a comfort thing. Yeah. But, I mean, it is much nicer to work out without a mask on.

[00:05:49] Yeah. Don't run into anybody. Yeah. So that's not so bad. You feel weird to be on the other side of the

[00:06:02] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:06:02] Is that my photography?

[00:06:17] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:06:17] It used to make me feel very official.

[00:06:34] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:06:34] in? Yeah. Yeah. It's I'm always really nervous. I'm actually less nervous on this one because we even talking about it.

[00:06:43] Maybe when we start talking, I'll be like, oh, we already started. Oh, are we recording right now? Hey, I didn't even know it. Yeah. It's one. It's just like that.

[00:06:58] Jessica Heriot: [00:06:58] talking that way you can kind of [00:07:00] grab what you want by the

[00:07:04] We're rolling. Nope. It's going to be on this side. I bet not say I'm going to wear the headphones for some of it just so I, I feel like official if I put these on. Yeah, I know. That's what I liked about that too. Yeah. For the most part, I don't have a whole outline or anything. We can go wherever you want to go.

[00:07:37] Jessica Heriot: [00:07:37] hot seat, instead of switching around, just kidding.

[00:07:48] Like either I talked too much or not enough, or lots of things I get self-conscious about during the actual recording. And then when I go back, I'm like, oh, that was actually good. No problem. Yeah. [00:08:00] It's weird being the one who has like, I have to like be the person having a conversation, but also try to think about how you're going to

[00:08:08] I'm going to cut and slice everything together, what you're going to keep and not, yeah, it's kind of, I can relate to that too. Like from a photography standpoint too, it's like, you know, I'm capturing these families or people at their weddings as they are, but then at the, you know, I have to go back and.

[00:08:31] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:08:31] So yeah. Now you must spend a ton of time in front of a computer. Just do you edit, you edit them too,

[00:08:38] Yeah. I know a lot of people like outsource and I've had times where I'm like, oh my gosh, I have so much to edit. Maybe I should. But I just, it's so hard because I feel like that's part of the creative process, you know, my art that I'm capturing them. And, and that's the part too. I just really enjoy it, but I do spend many hours behind the computer screen.

[00:09:16] I like, I like having control over the whole process. Cause then I know that they're not going to cut out something that I would have wanted to keep in there. Sometimes I'll put in stuff that most people would cut out just cause just add a little personal touch of some kind, but yeah. Yeah. So how's

[00:09:35] Um, it was definitely people

[00:09:38] Jessica Heriot: [00:09:38] bit. Oh yeah. Is that better? Yeah. Okay. Um, it's been good. It was definitely a rough year with, COVID just kind of a lot of ups and downs, I guess. I don't know.

[00:09:59] Jessica Heriot: [00:09:59] No, I, I feel [00:10:00] like I had a lot more family sessions because I think people were at home together more. And so it kind of sparked that thought that they have more time together and they could book that kind of thing. Um, it definitely did affect the wedding portion of things, so that, that definitely hurt.

[00:10:35] And it was hard, um, because I felt for them too. And that was hard for me from a business standpoint too. Yeah.

[00:10:51] Jessica Heriot: [00:10:51] of that? No, no, I'm actually didn't have any of those.

[00:11:14] But you know, even times now it's still like, you know, people are kinda like, huh, I mean, things are getting better, but you know, it's still kind of hard to plan bigger events at this point. Yeah. But

[00:11:27] Yeah.

[00:11:48] It seems like

[00:11:54] Jessica Heriot: [00:11:54] yeah. Yeah. So that's why it was, it was hard from a business standpoint, it was difficult at times and I just [00:12:00] kind of kept trying to truck along and, you know, do what I could. And like I said, I did book more family sessions.

[00:12:27] And so it was people excited. Yeah. So it was really hard to see that. And I would, you know, I'm, uh, I feel like a very caring, nurturing person. So I'm like want to land. Yeah. It's I'm like, I'm like, I want to be your mom and just like make it all. Yeah.

[00:12:44] Probably. Fewer and far between

[00:13:06] Sometimes you do what you gotta do to get by

[00:13:24] I didn't

[00:13:51] Um, and she was kind of the first person I took portraits of back in the day. We used to work at Chanel coffee company together and [00:14:00] she was, you know, looking to pursue singing. She's a very talented singer. Yeah. Oh yeah. She has a beautiful voice. She should do it more often. She's listening to this. Um,

[00:14:12] She should, you should get her. She'd be great. I think she would be very funny on social media. Oh my

[00:14:30] And I remember we drove around and just took pictures and I was kinda like, huh, maybe I could do something with this and then got my first DSLR and just kind of, well, two, I was coaching cheer to walk go. Okay. So you had subjects? Yeah. So I had a few girls asked me about taking a senior portraits and then it just kind of snowballed from there.

[00:14:52] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:14:52] So you weren't taking pictures for the yearbook or anything like that? No. Oh, wow. So yeah, you really did it on your own. Yeah.

[00:15:06] Is that in Warrenton? Yeah, it's in Warrenton.

[00:15:16] Jessica Heriot: [00:15:16] I love all food, but

[00:15:25] No, I've had three. Two of them were delicious. One of them was bad, so maybe I like it. Maybe, maybe.

[00:15:44] And then I think, you know, I kinda, after my dance years and coaching and I was, I guess I was coaching at the time, but I kind of wanted to do something more too. And that's just kind of was something I found myself stumbling into. And I think too, having my dad's old film camera, I kind of got me interested.

[00:16:01] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:16:01] yeah. Did you stick with film? Are you, I'm sure you're a digital now, but yeah. How long did you do film?

[00:16:13] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:16:13] the people who stuck with it were the ones who had been doing it for a long time.

[00:16:20] Jessica Heriot: [00:16:20] I think there's pros and cons both ways. Like what

[00:16:25] Jessica Heriot: [00:16:25] I think what the digital it's like, you have that more play and flexibility post versus, you know, film. It's kind of what you're capturing, you know, really got to get it right in the camera, you know?

[00:16:45] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:16:45] because you anticipating having all these tools. Yeah. Post.

[00:16:52] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:16:52] Did. So did you like cheerleading? Was that something you actually got into or were you just there for kind of the social and the physical activity?

[00:17:23] So it felt good to kind of get my feet wet a little bit again, but I would like to make it more of a regular thing, you know, just for like the exercise part of it too, getting older. I'm like, oh, I'm not as flexible as I once was, you know, it's weird how that happens. Yeah. That sucks. I'm like, oh, I can't do that anymore.

[00:17:37] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:17:37] Yeah. Uh, engine that goes away if you don't use it. Yeah. If you don't hear of a lot of adults doing dance classes, but I don't know why not. It looks, it looks fun if I knew how to dance, I'd do it. Yeah. But I

[00:17:53] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:17:53] Tanya. I was trying to think of connections that I've had to you through history while I was prepping for this.

[00:18:21] What? Yeah. Nah, when, um, I was like probably fourth grade. We bought a used computer and it was your old computer and we, uh, I remember going to a Wacom market to check it out and I didn't know what the fuck I was talking about. I wasn't, I didn't know anything about computers, but my dad knew even less. So he's like, come over and check this out.

[00:18:56] Jessica Heriot: [00:18:56] Yeah. The abominable snowman would come out and get yep.

[00:19:04] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:19:04] No, they really don't. The world has changed so different forever. Yeah. Yeah. I like it better this way. Yeah. Yeah. There was, I mean, I complain about it too. There are problems with it, but their life is so much easier. You can do so much more.

[00:19:22] Jessica Heriot: [00:19:22] Technology has advanced so much just even like in our lifetime, I feel like it's so crazy. Like we lived in a time where there weren't even smartphones and kids now don't know a world without smartphones, you know?

[00:19:33] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:19:33] They think of it like an extension of their own body. I mean, they, we, we all do it even like people who didn't grow up with it. People who are probably 60 now, I'm sure there's a lot of them who. Are attached at the hip to their smartphone. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Are you an apple person?

[00:20:00] Jessica Heriot: [00:20:00] It is. And I, I kinda, when I went actually, after I was done coaching here and kind of started dabbling in photography, I moved to Portland and at that time I just used PCs like HP and, you know, but that's kind of when I, when I went to art school there, that's when I really got sucked into it.

[00:20:19] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:20:19] So you went to art school? I did.

[00:20:42] But I felt like there were a lot of backend things that I, I feel like I couldn't teach myself. Yeah. So I wanted to go to school and kind of get that additional knowledge. Cause I really wanted to make something of it and, you know, really start doing weddings and, you know, dabble in it more and see if I could truly make a career out of it and met some really great people.

[00:21:09] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:21:09] So it was a four-year program for, just for

[00:21:12] I would've got it. Bachelor's degree if I would've continued, but it just got to be too expensive.

[00:21:24] Jessica Heriot: [00:21:24] business, right? Yeah. Yeah. So, I mean, it really wouldn't. I mean, that would just been more for like my, like, alright, I got that, you know, something to check off the list if I wanted to get a degree.

[00:21:36] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:21:36] don't know what I did actually. Yeah. I didn't, I got a psychology degree, uh, with not much intention of being a psychologist. I just liked it. And that's just what I wanted to know. Yeah. But yeah. So, uh, one year in art school where you, you were, I imagine you were probably running your businesses the

[00:21:54] Yeah, I was, um, actually think that year is the first year I started shooting weddings as well. [00:22:00] And I think I did three weddings that year. Um, I had a couple of people that just actually, I worked with a gal and she knew I was into photography and going to art school and she calls me up and she was like, Hey, Jess, I want to talk to you.

[00:22:26] And so I'm thankful for her. Cause she's the one that kind of helped me. Take the leap, I guess, because it was kind of scary, you know, that's precious moments for people. Um, and it was super fun wedding. It was really chill, , kind of a smaller wedding. It was at a really cute coffee shop and I think it was an Oregon city if I remember.

[00:22:47] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:22:47] Uh huh. So how what's an average year? How many weddings? Not a COVID year, but like how many weddings would you like to do in a

[00:23:00] [00:23:00] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:23:00] so every few weeks, so you have time to actually

[00:23:03] It's hard. Cause it's, , obviously want to, , be there to capture those moments for as many people as I can, but I also have to kind of, , draw a line if you know, so I'm not too busy cause you want the product to be good. Yeah, absolutely. And, and , I do spend a lot of time, , editing post-work because I, , I want it to be a good, solid product that I'm providing for people that they're going to look back on for years.

[00:23:45] I, I get like that with sound editing, where I'm like, just, I could spend all day easily and just get lost in it, but it's really not going to make the final product, all that much different. So I, I had to figure out where that

[00:24:04] And I'm like, Nope, color balance is a little bit too, this or that. Or the lighting is a little, this or that. So I'll go back and change it by something. So minute that no one else I would probably even notice or probably even think about really, but it's something I know I'm going to look back and be like, oh, I wish I would have adjusted this up just a tiny bit, you know?

[00:24:43] And, , I like it to be colorful.

[00:24:46] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:24:46] contrast. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Trying to make it stand out on that, on the feed. It's that social media stuff is tricky for me. You're really good at it. Like , your posts seem to do really well. And I mean, it probably helps that you're taking [00:25:00] beautiful pictures, but they get around pretty good too.

[00:25:02] Jessica Heriot: [00:25:02] Yeah. It's definitely the social media thing. It's, it's very helpful, but it's also. Been a lot, it's been a learning curve, , cause it can be a job in itself, you know, just learning how it works and the algorithms and using hashtags. And I learned a lot in the beginning from my sister about hashtags and how to even do all that.

[00:25:20] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:25:20] I hate, I hate that. I think about hashtags so much. I don't want to be a person who thinks about hashtags, but I do. I do. I do. Do I feel? Yeah, and I just, until like a week ago I was just like, eh, I can probably get by without using the hashtags. But then I turned my, the ramble by the river, Instagram into like a professional page instead of just a normal one and Instagram pretty much makes it like, what are you doing, dude?

[00:26:04] I don't even understand. I was like, they're not really for you. They're there or for anybody they're just so that the computer knows where to send my pictures, where to put it. Yeah. But yeah, there, it makes me feel old to the hashtag thing. Yeah. Cause I scoffed at it for so long. I acted like people who were using hashtags were somehow lesser than me, but they're not, they're just trying to use the tool the way it was intended.

[00:26:34] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:26:34] Surely. It just seems childish because it's colorful really. And yeah, it's a trick because it's not at all simple, it's

[00:26:52] And then what is that it's like for the

[00:27:01] Jessica Heriot: [00:27:01] but sometimes for me, like if I want to try to like, hit like a certain area, like if I really want to focus on Portland, like the photo might not be in Portland, but I'll put Portland because I know it's going to potentially reach people in Portland with those habits.

[00:27:19] Jessica Heriot: [00:27:19] or start putting maybe like Astoria, you know? Cause it's just right across the river, you know, actually we're taking pictures like other Columbia or something.

[00:27:30] Yeah. Okay. Yep.

[00:27:39] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:27:39] I'm very confused by

[00:27:46] Um,

[00:27:52] Jessica Heriot: [00:27:52] I kind of do something like that and just kinda like explain, you know, like put key words of what I'm wanting. Like maybe it doesn't necessarily make as much sense as [00:28:00] like the actual. Posts that I wrote out, but try to use keywords in there, I guess, is what you're supposed to do to help reach more people that way.

[00:28:18] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:28:18] I read a book, , about social media marketing, like a month ago. And it was, I mean, I listened, I listened to a book, but it was like 14 hours long.

[00:28:48] Cause I'm just like, I'm just going to put myself out there and my audience will find me and it'll be a easy peasy and it just didn't really work like that. It doesn't work like that because that's not how, [00:29:00] that's not how the internet is built anymore. It was. Yeah. It's when, when like one out of every thousand people was using the internet because you, people can find you, but there's billions of mash-ups content creators on so many platforms and it, unless you have some kind of a.

[00:29:32] Jessica Heriot: [00:29:32] Use it to reach the people. It's yeah, it's definitely it's it feels like it like, even sometimes too, I'm like, man, what am I going to talk about today in this post?

[00:30:00] And then I post when it says too, and it reaches more people. So I'm like, well, obviously it's knows what it's doing. Yeah. I

[00:30:16] I don't like reading that old garbage, but I read it anyway. It, yeah, the. I don't know what time of day would be best for me, because I don't know who my niche audience is. Like, if it's people like me, I'll post it like four in the morning. Cause that's when I do most of my Instagram. Right.

[00:30:34] Pretty much get up

[00:30:54] And some, actually the last year it's been a lot of the time I'm excited about doing this. [00:31:00] Yeah. So I like will want to get up early and that's an insomnia then I'll I'll I can handle. Yeah. I like it.

[00:31:11] Definitely. Can't go back to sleep now.

[00:31:23] Jessica Heriot: [00:31:23] Oh, what? I wished everyone could too, you know? Cause it would, it would just, it's just such a good feeling.

[00:31:45] Yeah.

[00:31:48] Jessica Heriot: [00:31:48] job? Yeah, I really have. There's a lot of people that I definitely would not cause I'm, I'm outgoing, but I'm also kind of, I feel like I'm quiet until I get to know someone and then I'm more, more [00:32:00] outgoing and, but, um, would you

[00:32:03] Yes.

[00:32:24] So that's really cool. Yeah.

[00:32:39] Yeah, it's cool. Yeah. It's and plus , , like you already know where we've been before, I dunno, it tells a nice story to have a nice set of family pictures and you're very good at taking them. Oh, thank

[00:32:53] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:32:53] yeah, it's I don't know.

[00:33:02] Jessica Heriot: [00:33:02] Especially too. I feel like my clock is just off with the COVID year. I'm like, wait, is that last year or three years ago? I don't know. The years just slipped by. They do. And as my dad used to always tell me the older you get the faster they go and I'd be like, yeah, yeah, yeah, dad.

[00:33:19] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:33:19] Sure. It's very, very noticeable. Yeah. I've always thought about time a lot. Even when I was a kid, I would think about how slow time was moving and now it seems like it's moving very fast. I want it to, yeah. And I'm like, it

[00:33:33] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:33:33] Yeah. But the brakes on it years with the kids, especially cause they, they just changed so fast that it like puts a, puts a yard stick to life. Six years is shorter. We were doing something completely different, but I'm the same. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:33:52] And it's like, man, you really see it. You know, it, the growth in the family, but especially with the kiddos, because so much change is happening, getting [00:34:00] taller really seeing their personalities come through. And it's great. Yeah. So much fun.

[00:34:15] Jessica Heriot: [00:34:15] So my parents house, I don't know. Do you know where my parents' house, where we grew up? So we were out in Knapton. So if you went past Mackler bridge, like three and a half miles, like you're heading towards Naselle was right in that little Knapton Cove Cove area station.

[00:34:36] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:34:36] What was that? Bit of knotweed out there. Yeah. Yeah. I noticed it when I'm driving by.

[00:34:47] What a beautiful place to grow up. Oh yeah. I know. I, now that my parents may have sold the house, but, , now looking back, I'm like, man, I didn't realize how good I had it as a kid.

[00:34:57] Jessica Heriot: [00:34:57] you know, you think that's normal. Like [00:35:00] this is my house. This is where I live. Um, so yeah, so we technically should have probably, I think, gone to nasal school, but somehow, cause we were kinda on the border, you know?

[00:35:12] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:35:12] Ocean beach. Oh yeah,

[00:35:22] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:35:22] you're talking about.

[00:35:40] Cause she was like, ha ha. I'm as old as my big sister right now for a little bit. But um, but yeah, I was pretty quiet kid. When you do close, are you still close? Yeah, we are. Yeah. I feel like we've gotten closer as we've gotten older. Um, but we were definitely always close and yeah,

[00:35:58] Oh yeah, a lot. W like [00:36:00] my brother, um, as kids, we were just like, we were parented as a unit. Like we were the boys and I did not like that. I, it made me feel very much just like, not an individual, but like I was responsible for, I would like get punished for his bad behavior or like, because, oh, the boys can't be trusted to go here or, and vice versa.

[00:36:51] The truth is I was smoking weed and I didn't want him to find out because I thought not only did I think he would tell on me, I thought he would start smoking weed [00:37:00] and I didn't handle it. Yeah. I didn't, I didn't want him to go down that path. So I just like ditched him. Uh, he eventually, you know, found actually it was Mike Lambert.

[00:37:28] Jessica Heriot: [00:37:28] stuff too. I feel like a little, but around 16, 17, maybe.

[00:37:45] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:37:45] It was like 50 people there.

[00:37:53] Cause then I had to drive per, you know, so similar situation. So then I kind of like, I was like, oh no, I'm like responsible for her [00:38:00] all the time. Lovey Kelsey. Sorry. But, so what does she do now? She's up in Seattle. She's been there since she graduated high school. , she went to Bellevue community college and then she graduated from, , university of Washington.

[00:38:29] Yeah. I was like, well, because I moved to Portland and then I wanted to be closer to my sister and my dad was in that general area as well. So I thought, well, what the heck? I'll go give Seattle a try. And I was there for, I think two and a half years, and it was just too much city for me. And I was like, I'll come visit you at CALS, but this is, I gotta, I gotta go back to Portland's a little bit smaller.

[00:38:49] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:38:49] It's a lot of city too, but it's, it's kind of, uh, the weirdness Portland weirdness kind of takes that city at Josh.

[00:38:59] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:38:59] How [00:39:00] has Portland, by the way, how are you exhausted from all the writings?

[00:39:08] I've kind of bounced around that general area. Um, but I've been in Vancouver for, I think two and a half. Three years now, something like that, but it's definitely, cause I have to go over to Portland, you know, every once in awhile or for shoots and different things and

[00:39:24] Jessica Heriot: [00:39:24] Yeah. Yeah. It's immensely different from when I originally moved there, I think like 12 or 13 years ago, um, it just kind of sad to see the current state of it and you know, it just a lot of different pieces and with the politics and the rioting, and it's just sad to see businesses that, you know, have been destroyed.

[00:39:50] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:39:50] right now the homelessness thing is, is a major issue. I don't think anybody knows what to do. No, it's it really sucks. And I don't think anybody's in a [00:40:00] huge hurry to try to figure it out.

[00:40:04] Jessica Heriot: [00:40:04] is. It's I think there's more to it than, you know, we all would like to see it better, but it's kind of trying to find that resolution is difficult,

[00:40:28] But they're not asking, not, they're not asking to come off the streets. A lot of them are mentally ill or addicted to drugs, alcohol and have lots of problems. They're they're not, they're not in a huge hurry to be institutionalized. Right. So I don't know. I don't know what would help them. And really most people don't care about those people.

[00:40:59] Jessica Heriot: [00:40:59] or [00:41:00] who knows what kind of other crazy stuff. It's a rough, it's a rough

[00:41:04] Jessica Heriot: [00:41:04] sad though.

[00:41:21] And then on top of it, then it's just causing more confusion on what to do to help the situation. Yeah.

[00:41:38] Seattle. Yeah. Get the fuck

[00:41:43] don't

[00:42:03] It was like a, it was a mix between, I mean, they were homeless, but they were more of like by choice homeless, like it wasn't all sick people. Like it, wasn't all. People who are clearly mentally ill or damaged in some way, or just choosing that. Yeah, they were just like the weirdos who like wanted to play guitar in the park.

[00:42:45] Really the best of both worlds. Right. I got to get the benefits of homeless life without having to live with the homeless. Um, yeah. Do you know Colton talker? I do. Yeah. He was one of my clients who was up down there. [00:43:00] Gotcha. Living, living that life.

[00:43:05] Yeah. Cause she was a year ahead of me I think a year. Yeah.

[00:43:17] Jessica Heriot: [00:43:17] that. I was a big deal. I mean, I had no idea what was going on. I was like, I had the blinders on apparently. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:43:25] They like smoked weed on the bus or something or smoked weed. They put

[00:43:49] But now I'm like, thank God. I didn't take a drink of

[00:44:00] [00:44:00] Jessica Heriot: [00:44:00] Yeah. Right. Where I was like, thank you. Thank you. No, but time that was, I just felt, I was like, oh, I'm not cool.

[00:44:08] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:44:08]

[00:47:15] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:47:15] it's made me a better parent because I can, I can recognize because people just didn't expect me to do that kind of stuff.

[00:47:38] Did you ever have people telling you like, Hey, you shouldn't do this business thing when you started? Or did you have people telling you that you were going to fail, like in a nice way? Like, Hey, have you thought of a backup plan or that kind of stuff, or you just supported?

[00:48:02] Or, you know, like they don't consider it a job, which, you know, anything can be a job if, you know, you're really working hard at it. And so that in a way was kind of, it's always kind of like, oh, this is my job, you know? Or it'd be kind of a backhanded way of like, oh, it's not a real, a real thing. Okay. It does, it's a job.

[00:48:29] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:48:29] yeah. Well that's like, this podcast is not a job because he doesn't pay, but it's still a ton of work.

[00:48:41]Jessica Heriot: [00:48:41] So I'd always been in like the banking world. , and then one point in time, I decided just to try photography full-time and then soon after the pandemic happened and I kind of panicked a little bit. , but also too, I think I'm just the kind of personality that I like. To be, I like to be busy and doing [00:49:00] things and contributing.

[00:49:15] Like I've got my creative thing and my more like analytical numbers things. So the bank, I'm a credit analyst. Oh, for commercial loans. Wow. Yeah. So, , but yeah, I just kinda went back there recently, so, but yeah, like I said, I tried the photography full-time and I really wanted to do it. It was hard. I think too, when I initially went back to working for a bank, not that I didn't want to do it, but I, I kind of felt a little bit like a failure in a way, even though I know I'm not failing it just certain circumstances and time and you know, I live on my own and single income and, um, but yeah, it was hard for me at first to kind of realize well as much as I like to be busy, I I kind of probably needed something else.

[00:50:02] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:50:02] ifs and yeah, it's nice to be able to know that you have some security, even if you, if things just fall apart. Right.

[00:50:17] Now you have a real job again, you know, it's just kind of like my own thing in my head. Right. Like, no, one's really going to judge me for that,

[00:50:27] Jessica Heriot: [00:50:27] was not successful at the bank back the bank. But I just, for me, it's like, w at one point in time it was just like, okay, I need to figure out different game plan, you know, for the current situation.

[00:50:41] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:50:41] me too. I really have zero ego when it comes to working because it's, it's interesting. I like trying a lot of different things. Like just it's fun.

[00:50:57] And, um, this is, uh, you know, I've worked in [00:51:00] banking off and on since I was 19 and this is a new position, so it's something new in that world that I'm learning. And so it's really fun for me. And I liked numbers and I always liked math cause I'm, I was listening to the episode with Liz and I was like, oh yeah, my math lady.

[00:51:18]Jeff Nesbitt: [00:51:18] ,so what does a credit analyst do? Like what's your day like.

[00:51:34] Um, you know, so managing

[00:51:37] Jessica Heriot: [00:51:37] basically, so cool. Yeah. A lot of data entry and stuff like that too, but it's interesting to see how it all works together and how they're using that data, you know, for their loans and different things and customers are working with, do

[00:51:49] I don't have to do that job. You that's probably nice. Yeah. I wouldn't want to do that. No, I've been on the other side of that and it sucks like, no, sorry. We were not going to give you any money and actually were [00:52:00] really shocked that you would even ask.

[00:52:10] And so, yeah, and I work with a good group of people actually. Um, you know, Marcella Morris. Yeah. Dixon now, but I work with her actually there. Oh yeah. That's cool. Yeah. I'm Marcella. Hey Marcella, shout out. Yeah. So yeah, small world. Cause when I went there to interview and the boss was like, oh, he's like I have, we have one girl on vacation, her name's Marcella.

[00:52:42] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:52:42] interesting. Yeah. I haven't seen her for a really long time. Yeah. Um, what was I gonna say? Oh yeah. So do you, do you keep track of what's going on in the financial world?

[00:52:53] Jessica Heriot: [00:52:53] crazy lately. I don't really not too much, I guess.

[00:53:20] All the Elon Musk stuff, the interaction between the financial world and social media has become like, it feels like a movie, like how could billions of dollars move because somebody posted a tweet. Right. It's insane to me,

[00:53:43] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:53:43] hours.

[00:54:04] Oh, okay. Everything's doing really bad. Um, in the crypto market, at least the world. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:54:23] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:54:23] And it's, it's growing so fast that if, unless you are reading and looking into it every day, you, you will get left behind knowledge wise, which is okay.

[00:54:50] I would like to do. I feel like

[00:54:56] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:54:56] But it is complicated. And it's like, I don't have a background in [00:55:00] computer programming or anything like that. So some of the stuff like I have to learn the foundational principles before I can even learn the actual concepts and it, it just takes a lot of time, but it'd be worth it.

[00:55:17] Jessica Heriot: [00:55:17] Yeah. That's that stuff's way over my head. Nice. Too busy. And haven't ever really taken the time to dive into it though. Yeah.

[00:55:28]Jessica Heriot: [00:55:28] So yeah, my boyfriend's and he, I know he watches the stocks a little bit, but it's

[00:55:34] Yeah. The stocks have started to bore me once I got into crypto where it's like, you see it's exciting. Yeah. Well, I mean, when you can see a 70% gain, a two or 3% gain that everyone's freaking out about, it's just like, yeah. Okay, cool. All right. It's just not the same, but at the same time, it's you don't, you don't have to risk those 70% dips either.

[00:56:01] So you have a boyfriend and what's he like?

[00:56:10] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:56:10] All

[00:56:11] Jessica Heriot: [00:56:11] Oh yeah.

[00:56:12] Jessica Heriot: [00:56:12] He's an engineer.

[00:56:14] Jessica Heriot: [00:56:14] Yeah. So he drives the trains.

[00:56:18] Oh yeah? Wow.

[00:56:27] They all do.

[00:56:35] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:56:35] And people love to tempt fate.

[00:56:38] They love to just be on the tracks. And actually I can photography. People always want to, you know, all, I want to take pictures on the railroad tracks. It's like, well, we actually can't, that's actually a federal law that we're not supposed to mess with the train tracks. Let's just stay away. We can go somewhat near them if they can be in the background.

[00:56:55] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:56:55] there's lots of old train tracks around it. Aren't

[00:57:03] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:57:03] But yeah. I remember when I was a kid, my grandpa talking about, um, just stories about driving the train. He S he ran the, what was it called?

[00:57:15] Jessica Heriot: [00:57:15] That sounds familiar. Actually.

[00:57:33] It's like, he was like, the guy should have known better. Yeah. He did it every time. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:57:39] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:57:39] He didn't seem, he didn't seem sorry. Okay. All right. He's an intense guy He's a cowboy. Um, like not literally, but in his heart, in his heart, he's a cowboy. Yeah. Well like my whole childhood wore cowboy hat, cowboy boots carried a pistol, like the whole deal, because you're the [00:58:00] third, I'm the third guard.

[00:58:14] Jessica Heriot: [00:58:14] gonna

[00:58:15] We don't want people knowing that we don't know this. Um, so your boyfriend works for the railroad. How long have you guys been together? Two

[00:58:27] Jeff Nesbitt: [00:58:27] yeah. You, uh, planning to get married any point

[00:58:38] You know, we both have, you know, as anyone we all have passed that, you know, or you don't want to rush anything either. So yeah.

[00:58:48] Jessica Heriot: [00:58:48] Yeah. So I've made that mistake before, but you know, we've all been there it's happened. Our, our

[00:59:06] And it's not that it's not that. And just the whole, the whole popular view of what love is and commitment, all the stuff it's, it's very different than reality. And so I think a lot of people have expectations that are just not and it just doesn't go well. But I have so many friends who are. You know, under 40 who have at least one divorce, if not two it's it's it's pretty common.

[00:59:47] Jessica Heriot: [00:59:47] My friend Maria and I, we joke, well, I really like third time's a charm. And like, all I can do is, you know, I was really embarrassed about it for awhile, but I'm like, you know, it's just life.

[01:00:03] Jeff Nesbitt: [01:00:03] I was super embarrassed about my first marriage, because people told me the whole time that it was a bad idea. Not, not even because they thought it wasn't gonna work out or anything, but just cause we rushed into it.

[01:00:15] Jessica Heriot: [01:00:15] cause how, how old were you when you got married? I was

[01:00:41] Yeah. I have to do that. So I was going to buy this pair of lifting shoes and. They're available online 24 hours a day, seven days a week, all the time, all the time. I haven't lifted for months. And I've been thinking about getting these shoes to get started again.

[01:01:13] You have to plan a little bit more than 12 hours in advance if you want to wear these shoes. And I was like, yeah, but I really want them now. So because I need them tomorrow. So I guess I'll just take those shoes. And I took the first ones I found and that's exactly what happened in my first marriage.

[01:01:37] Jessica Heriot: [01:01:37] I just, I was young and, and I think, well, all through high school, I'd pretty much had one boyfriend, you know, we dated for, I think almost five years.

[01:01:50] Jeff Nesbitt: [01:01:50] which was trying to think if I can remember who that was. You were very popular. Yeah, at least I think so, because I was four years, five years below [01:02:00] you in school. So I remember like the Harriet sisters were like top shelf, popular girls, your cheerleaders. You're beautiful.

[01:02:13] Jessica Heriot: [01:02:13] Walters Walters.

[01:02:19] Jessica Heriot: [01:02:19] Was together forever. I think we started dating are like the end of our freshman year of high school. And then we dated until we were like a year out of high school.

[01:02:34] Jeff Nesbitt: [01:02:34] I was at that. Oh, at that camp. Yeah, that was, yeah. That was like have fun experience. Most of it.

[01:02:51] We had a great time together. It just didn't work out. He seems like a cool guy. Oh yeah. He's awesome. And , I actually still am in contact with him, everyone smile. And I know his wife, his wife is awesome. She's super [01:03:00] sweet. And , they live in Vancouver area as well. , but, and then after that, I kinda, you know, it was just weird for me cause I had.

[01:03:23] And so I met my first husband and, um, yeah, I think I just thought like, oh, pie's got to hurry up and get married. And he was older than me. Um, I think there was like a seven year age difference. I think I was 21 when we met pretty young. Yeah. So, um, and I think I just had this in my head, like why then go to college and I'm living at home.

[01:04:09] Um, how long? I think we were separated. They're like seven months of marriage seven. Yeah, I know it was under a year when we separated. I think, you know, after doing the. The whole paperwork

[01:04:32] now looking back, I was like, no one would've cared. Yeah. People don't care about my life. They care about their life. Um, all of, all of that stress and about other people, it was all just a waste of time, but it's impossible not to,

[01:04:46] Cause I, I struggled with it all in everything, you know, I worry about what people will think. And I don't know if that's, I mean, I think everyone struggles with it, but I think too, something about growing up in a smaller town, I think I used to put a lot of pressure on myself that I would be judged for [01:05:00] everything I did or everything I didn't do or didn't do it right.

[01:05:08] Jeff Nesbitt: [01:05:08] it's hard just reacting to everything. It's not, you don't have time to think ahead and actually decide who you want to be. Just like, well, you're just constantly worrying about other people.

[01:05:33] Jessica Heriot: [01:05:33] I feel like I've been. The last three or four years, I feel like I've been, I have been better at that , it creeps in now.

[01:05:57] Jeff Nesbitt: [01:05:57] know?

[01:06:06] Jessica Heriot: [01:06:06] Yeah. We're still trying to figure things out and who you are and what you're doing.

[01:06:18] So you put all this pressure on yourself to establish who you are. And sometimes even that can be rushed. I had so many ideas about what I was going to be and who I was going to be at at 20 that never materialized. And if they would have it, wouldn't have made sense to me who, who I really am like, oh, especially about parenting.

[01:06:57]beginning of it, how it all [01:07:00] starts. And I thought I was going to be the most understanding, caring, empathetic parent. And it, I try, I still try to be, but it's really hard. And oh, the gender thing that got me so bad because I read this book called the gendered society in like 2010 and it's all about, and it was great cause it, it, it really opened my eyes to gender as, as a social construct.

[01:07:49] But it, this book kind of pulled all of that, apart to where you can see that it's actually something that we as humans built, not just something that's implicit because of our sex. [01:08:00] And so after I read that book, I was like, Gender is, is optional. Like, and th it's it's really kind of become a very popular view that like, your gender is optional and can be fluid.

[01:08:30] Like kids, kids have their own wants and needs. And my daughter really, really likes pretty stuff. And I didn't teach her that. Yeah. Like she's just naturally gravitated towards that. Yeah. I actually actively avoided princess shit because I, and not because I dislike it, I actually find it very adorable.

[01:09:12] She just came, figured that herself and decided like, I really liked this stuff. And, she could've just as easily decided to like Cowboys and Indians or race cars or dump trucks or dinosaurs. Yeah. But she likes princesses. And so it kind of changed the way I think about gender. And I don't think it's as evil as I did then.

[01:09:50] Yeah. Live a bit. Yeah. They're also so forceful. Like they just want to Ram their ideas down your throat. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I don't [01:10:00] know what the rush is. I don't either. We can take time to think about stuff. We got time. Um, okay. So I'll stop talking about myself. So I used to have a philosophy that you could marry anybody and with enough hard work, make it into a good marriage would work.

[01:10:22] Jessica Heriot: [01:10:22] Yeah, I think I used to have that feeling too initially. Like whoever it is, it's just, you know, whoever I end up with, we're just going to make it work no matter what long as he checks the box. Yep. Yep. And I'm like, no, after. A couple of failure, you know, failed attempts, which is okay.

[01:10:58] Yeah. I don't, I don't think it's like a [01:11:00] cookie cutter. Like you can just fit together and make it work kind of thing. Yeah.

[01:11:16] Uh, all it does is build resentment. You start to hate that person and, and feel constantly hurt by them because they're not putting you first. And it is actually a terrible way to live. Yeah. But it's also, if you don't put them first. For most things, you're not going to have a good relationship either.

[01:11:39] Jessica Heriot: [01:11:39] dance of trying to find the perfect balance of that. But I do feel like if you find the right person, your dance will, , essentially match up I guess, but, and it just kind of happens. Yeah. It just naturally kind of flows into each other, but it's, it's hard.

[01:12:10] Cause I always say, it's going to be, you know, it's going to take some work and be hard, but it's like, or is that too hard? You know? Like where, how do you know? You know, there's a lot of gray that makes it, I think difficult. Um, because it's easy

[01:12:26] Just like they said, but when really it was like, oh no, this is actually dysfunctional and abusive. It's not something I just need to push through. It's something I need to get away from away from. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What are your biggest red flags in a relationship it's like where you just know like, oh, this person is not going to work with me.

[01:13:08] I think it's really important that you know who you are and you take care of you. , but then I think when you do go out to, , date someone, if you're not being, , giving, like you're saying like that same kind of dance, like you have to make them a priority, but then to have to make yourself a priority, it's like finding that balance, you know?

[01:13:44] And that's not gonna, that's not gonna work out that way.

[01:13:55]Jessica Heriot: [01:13:55] Um, I think it was man must have been [01:14:00] like a year and a half, two years.

[01:14:05]Jessica Heriot: [01:14:05] quite a bit of time. Cause I, um, I must have been like eight or nine years I think between yeah.

[01:14:26] Jeff Nesbitt: [01:14:26] years. Are you hesitant about doing it again? No.

[01:14:33] Yeah. But ultimately, like, I know that's what I want and I want that, you know, that's, that's something I've always envisioned having, because not to speak for like the title of it per se. But because I know, I want to know that I have that person that is just as much in it as I am, you know, for the long haul.

[01:15:12] That's like at 30 it switches, but there's a lot of growing in that timeframe. I think after you get out of school and there's this so much, you learn about yourself and then to just life experiences that happen. , but yeah, I am, I'm still, like, I still have a positive outlook. It was dimmed for a little bit.

[01:15:28]Jeff Nesbitt: [01:15:28] Your parents were still together or they, no,

[01:15:40] Jeff Nesbitt: [01:15:40] myself so hard on it. Don't even worry about it. Like seriously, there's.

[01:15:52] Jessica Heriot: [01:15:52] And my mom telling me too, she was like, of course she was like, you know, marriage means something she's like, but there's also people that date for long periods of time too.

[01:16:15] And

[01:16:20] Jessica Heriot: [01:16:20] I mean, it wa I mean, I don't think anyone wants to see their parents, you know, not together, especially when my whole, you know, at that point I'm was 22 or three, you know, so I haven't liked them. My parents have always just been together, so I just never pictured that.

[01:16:53] So,

[01:17:16] It's just like the tragedy of it didn't really hit me until I was an adult. and I've realized like, oh shit, we kind of just ended our family halfway through essentially. And it sucks, but yeah, I don't know. It's a weird one because yeah. It gets to you later and in weird ways, was it, what was home life like when you were a kid?

[01:17:38] Jessica Heriot: [01:17:38] or were, oh yeah, no, it was great. Um, they were both really hard working and they were both super involved. Like they never missed, you know, any dance recitals or they're always at the basketball and football games watching my sister and I cheer. And so they were always super involved and with the community and the school and, um, but yeah, they were, no, everything was great.

[01:18:02] Jeff Nesbitt: [01:18:02] but yeah, things do change. Yeah. People move on.

[01:18:13] Jeff Nesbitt: [01:18:13] Yeah. That's but if they needed to get divorced that they probably needed to get divorced.

[01:18:46] Like I remember going back to my bedroom after having, cause like my mom packed all of our shit and when I got home from school, we left and uh, I didn't, I never slept in my bed again. And it was weird. Like I [01:19:00] remember going back to the house, uh, months later and like, my bed was still messed up from me, sleeping in it.

[01:19:26] You're it never, it never stays the same. It's we're always in a state of

[01:19:32] Jeff Nesbitt: [01:19:32] and change is the only constant. Yeah. We're always changing. Yeah. Where do you see yourself? Five years. 10 years from now. Oh,

[01:19:43] Jeff Nesbitt: [01:19:43] it is. Do you still see yourself being around the same city?

[01:19:59] Jeff Nesbitt: [01:19:59] That was from, used to live in [01:20:00] Utah salt lake city, Colton. No. Oh, he did. He still lived there. He used to live there for like six years.

[01:20:20] He did a whole bunch of electrical for basically for free. Oh, that's nice. But he won't finish. So I still am pissed at him. Yeah. That's all right. He called me, him and my brother are friends too. And he was talking to my brother and he's like, yeah, I think I'm just gonna make Jeff asked me to come back.

[01:20:52] Jessica Heriot: [01:20:52] then when you heard that you're like, wait a

[01:20:57] I need lights in my case. I guess

[01:21:02] Jeff Nesbitt: [01:21:02] everything in the bottom, basically the bottom half of the house wow. Yeah. I'm so ready for it to be done. Me and Melissa managed to not let it cause a lot of tension , between us, which I'm shocked by because , it's just like home renovation is a relationship killer.

[01:21:40] Like we think a lot of like, we, we don't always agree on everything, but we communicate in a similar way to where even we don't agree, we can

[01:21:50] Jeff Nesbitt: [01:21:50] so to speak. Yeah, exactly. So, and it's, it makes a huge difference. Yeah. Um, yeah.

[01:22:00] [01:22:00] Jeff Nesbitt: [01:22:00] Yeah. If you have those two things, you can pretty much make it work and attraction.

[01:22:21] It's ran. Its course. They don't realize like, if you actually just double down during that time, it lights right back up. Like you can do that in depth.

[01:22:39] Jeff Nesbitt: [01:22:39] Yeah. Love is an act. It's not just something that happens to you. Yeah. It's something you do. Yeah. Yeah. Makes a big difference if you think about it like that. Yeah, it does. Well, let's move on from relationships. what are you into when you have a couple of hours to just do. Something, that's just purely for enjoyment.

[01:22:58] Jessica Heriot: [01:22:58] I love to be outside. [01:23:00] Um, when it's, I mean, I would be outside in the rain too, but I, I really like going on hikes, um, like going to the gym, cause that's just kinda like my me time. Um, my boyfriend, I go together too sometimes, which is fun that we I'm glad that we have that, that we like to do

[01:23:15] Do you actually work out together and just go with the other, you like do the same workouts? Yeah, that's cool. Yeah.

[01:23:33] So it's nice. Cause like when I go with him, I kinda focus on one area and then I can go on my time and do my thing.

[01:23:40]Jessica Heriot: [01:23:40] We lift weights. Um, and then, um, so we go to gym for that. Um, I also do like do this like body pump class. I don't know if you've heard of that.

[01:23:57] Jeff Nesbitt: [01:23:57] are they going again? Yeah. They're going

[01:24:06] Um, yeah, which is

[01:24:13] Jessica Heriot: [01:24:13] No one posting their gin picks. Exactly. Um, but it's fun. Cause it's like. For me, like the dancer and me, like, we're doing stuff to like the music. So it's like to the beat until like eight counts and stuff, but we're like using like free weights and stuff to do lifting.

[01:24:44] So

[01:25:03] They suck there. It's really hard. And it's a, it's a hard in a way that you get no, like there's no glory with it. It's hard to bench press a whole bunch of weight. And when you do a whole bunch of weight, people will like stand around and be like, oh, look at this guy. But if you're on an ERG, just pulling as hard as you can you look the same as the old lady who's doing it next to you.

[01:25:53] So you want to go slowly, back up the slide, because if you rush up the slide, then that's going to send your weight the [01:26:00] opposite direction and you'll stop the boat.

[01:26:04]Jeff Nesbitt: [01:26:04] I wouldn't assume that you would. Yeah, I didn't, I didn't know that you wrote actually.

[01:26:28] I loved it. I really loved it. The coaching. Yeah. But yeah, I don't remember where I was going with that. Oh, the timing, timing. The timing of it. Yeah. I don't that's that's nothing. I was, I was going nowhere with it. Um, but we were talking about workouts. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Do you run, do you ever

[01:26:48] You're a

[01:26:52] Jessica Heriot: [01:26:52] I know. I probably should. It's it's actually hop on the treadmill sometimes, but that's, that's about my extent of,

[01:27:10] When I'm running on the treadmill, it's like, bam, bam, bam.

[01:27:26] Yeah.

[01:27:32] Jessica Heriot: [01:27:32] I not really actually. I mean, a lot of people haven't I haven't, no, actually I think about it. I haven't, I mean, I've gotten some cake out here and there, but it was doing that kind of all COVID to kind of help businesses, like all

[01:27:46] Adorable indoor

[01:27:48] Jeff Nesbitt: [01:27:48] Yeah. I don't think we have that here, but

[01:27:58] Jeff Nesbitt: [01:27:58] Yeah. So convenient. [01:28:00] Yeah. Yeah. Postmates is another good one. Yep. I've done that before.

[01:28:22] I haven't really, I'm constantly thinking about existential threats. No. Am I the only one? It must be spiel. I really do think about that stuff all the time. Like everything seems so fragile.

[01:28:43] Yeah.

[01:29:05] Like that could, that could happen. That could happen. Um, but we're worrying about, it's not really gonna make a difference. I try

[01:29:22] Yeah. So I try not to get, otherwise I would go down a bunny trail and it would just be,

[01:29:35] Jessica Heriot: [01:29:35] There are some interesting things, but then it can get me all stressed out about things. I shouldn't be.

[01:30:03] And they look at me like, what the fuck are you talking about? What are you asking? , okay, fine. You don't have to think about it. All right. Different topic, but you know, the truth is the sun's right there and it's eventually gonna burn out. So I'm just saying,

[01:30:17] You're

[01:30:25] Jessica Heriot: [01:30:25] Oh, you're going to pass

[01:30:36] Jessica Heriot: [01:30:36] mid, mid, mid, late may.

[01:30:39] Jeff Nesbitt: [01:30:39] yeah. So it was like five months. Yeah. Yeah. Today actually I hit 5,000 downloads. Hey was just awesome

[01:30:46] Jeff Nesbitt: [01:30:46] Thank you. That's awesome. When it was a hundred people, it was like, it still felt like a lot because I'm just like a hundred different people are listening to me talk. Yeah. So that's cool.

[01:30:57] Jessica Heriot: [01:30:57] here done that thing where people, [01:31:00] I think people like I've seen them deal with like their social medias and stuff. They'll be like, okay. 2000 people. So they'll Google something. To show up image of 2000 people.

[01:31:25] Jeff Nesbitt: [01:31:25] you know?

[01:31:47] Cause it's like overwhelming or it's like, you have to hit that. They called it the 80, 20 rule. Like you gotta have like when you post, uh, a mixed media post is supposed to have 80% [01:32:00] picture or like field open space and no more than 20% text on on it. And so I've started trying to do that. Cause at first I was really packing the text in like all the information I wanted.

[01:32:33] Jessica Heriot: [01:32:33] I've tried it a little bit. Um, But I feel like honest, like the word of mouth has just been way more beneficial. Um,

[01:32:42] Jessica Heriot: [01:32:42] show? Heck yeah, I know. That's why I was like, can I take some pictures on here and like yeah. Post and tag? Yeah, definitely. Yeah. Cause I think synergy. Yeah.

[01:33:05] Like when I moved like, um, from Seattle back to Portland, I was kinda like, okay, because I kind of moved away from my, where I had, you know, built up some clientele. I moved to Seattle, then I kind of built it up again. Then I went back. So I was kinda like, okay, I got to like rein it back in now. So when I first, when I moved back to Portland, the second time I did a couple ads, just so hopefully it would help get my name out there that I was in this area again.

[01:33:44] You know? Cause I want to know if any of that stuff is working. Um, and I've had a lot of people have found me through Instagram. So mostly doing

[01:34:00] It connects people really easily. Yeah. It really does. I'm not sure too, because Facebook owns it, but it's better than

[01:34:17] I don't, I don't know what the differences are. I

[01:34:22] Jessica Heriot: [01:34:22] I have a Tik TOK account, but I haven't dived into using it. I have gotten sucked into the bunny hole or, you know, just scrolling through those Tik TOK videos, but I haven't used it for myself personally for my business. I

[01:34:35] Hmm. I just don't I'm not ready for another one. I already have like gone into the Twitter world and then backed out multiple times. Cause I'm just like, I can't keep up. Yeah. Like, first of all, it's way too many angry people on Twitter. And why doesn't anyone post anything? I

[01:35:00] [01:35:00] I remember too, when I first got it. I was like, I don't even know how to use this app. I have no idea like how you tweet at people. Like that's gonna make me sound probably old, but I was like, I have no idea what I'm doing with this platform. And so I think mine's out there still, but I'd definitely do

[01:35:13] I'm pretty sure it's just for criticizing people

[01:35:19] Jeff Nesbitt: [01:35:19] It's a lot of political stuff. And for people to, uh, manipulate. The crypto market or stupid doge coin or Bitcoin? Yeah. Bitcoin is my baby. That's, that's the one I'm I'm banking on and I really like it, but it's, uh, the whole thing is scary.

[01:36:01] So now the chances of a full recovery or just like it really even just like starting back into that bull market where it's going to be an upward trend, it seems like it's going to be a while before that happens again, which sucks. Cause that was like entertaining as hell watching, watching the market just go up and up and up and up.

[01:36:31] Jessica Heriot: [01:36:31] It's got to tank at some time.

[01:36:41] Just in case like worst case scenario. Oh, I lose 20 bucks. And if I would have done that, I would be a millionaire, but I didn't. And like, but I kept watching it because the technology is really intriguing. I'm like, actually I should talk to you about the financial stuff because you actually know. And I don't, [01:37:00] but my gut tells me that there are some fundamental problems with the way that we manage money in this country.

[01:37:32] Why wouldn't you, why wouldn't you invest that? Yeah. And then the people who had all the, you know, the really rich people were like, all right, well, we've written this long enough now we're going to sell and, you know, take our profits and buy back in it price. Yeah. Uh, I dunno. It just seems like that's not a great system.

[01:37:59] Jessica Heriot: [01:37:59] that's a. [01:38:00] I don't know if I could offer any good.

[01:38:05] Jessica Heriot: [01:38:05] Oh, if I do though, that's like a whole other ball game that like, you're like, you know, it's

[01:38:13] Well, you don't have to give me real information. What do you think? It's a good idea for the government to be sending people checks right now. Are you in favor or not? You're a Congressman. You got to vote.

[01:38:38] So all this money that we have given out to everyone. So I don't know. It's, that's a, it's hard. Cause I feel like in the moment it was like hard. How would they delegate or decide who gets what or how much? And they just had to do the best they could. I is how I try to look at it. Um, but it is hard. Cause I, I see on one hand, super benefited people then also too, like the [01:39:00] SBA, PPP loans and stuff that have benefited businesses and things like that.

[01:39:16] Jeff Nesbitt: [01:39:16] hard it is. That's why I asked you about that. Cause I, I really don't know the answer.

[01:39:39] Jessica Heriot: [01:39:39] Yeah. That's I think where I'm at, you know, later on, what's that gonna mean for us, , as a society, but it's also benefited us in such a hard time, you know, and people losing jobs or, you know, not being able to have their businesses open, you know?

[01:40:06] Jeff Nesbitt: [01:40:06] I guess. Yeah. They've talked about doing the, uh, continuous payments. Just keep them going like a universal, basic income.

[01:40:40] Yeah. So I get it. But at the same time, if I'm one of the people who has to manage this tar country, You got to look at the big picture and economy matters. And it seems like the economy is doing bad, but I mean, this whole year, like through the pandemic, it felt like people were [01:41:00] struggling, but then you look the stock stock market's producing record highs.

[01:41:06] Jessica Heriot: [01:41:06] defense not matching up.

[01:41:22] Jessica Heriot: [01:41:22] No, actually I don't.

[01:41:35] Jeff Nesbitt: [01:41:35] Yes, actually lots of them, but the writing I've been so obsessed with cryptocurrency lately.

[01:41:41] Jeff Nesbitt: [01:41:41] got your attention. Yeah. I mean it think about other stuff, but mostly because I'd started my money. It's where my money isn't. Yeah, it was growing really fast. And now then it's shrunk really fast. So it's like, that's where my head's at, but yeah, no, I love conspiracy theories.

[01:42:15] We don't have any information on where they launched or where they landed, but we have these videos and they're pretty bad videos. So that's the thing it's like, it's 20, 21. Can you get an iPhone out? A little better quality? Yeah. They're all grainy, like dark that's probably radar or something, but yeah.

[01:43:04] I know I'm getting I'm you're gonna think I'm weird, but so that's a project. Blue beam is like. Uh, a program that's designed to convince the populace that aliens are attacking us. And it's like, this is a pretty big concept in the community of conspiracy people. Okay. So I should clarify, this is all new to me.

[01:43:58] And they, they [01:44:00] were like, all these people were saying that there was like an underground sex trafficking thing going on at the basement of this pizza place. And then they went and checked. The pizza place didn't even have a basement. So like, there's very little chance that that's true. Um, but then there's other situations like Epstein, psych, he was in a jail cell with a former police officer, uh, who was just like yoked, huge, like probably a white supremacist.

[01:44:51] Yeah. So there's a huge spectrum of like believability, but I find it very fun to just kind of like walk through the process [01:45:00] of, of seeing like in what universe could this have happened. So I think they're fun, but for the most part, I think that they're dangerous because there are so many people out there who don't look at them with a critical eye.

[01:46:07] Right. It's like, okay. But what, what grand plan is that? Whose whose conspiracy is it to convince a bunch of dumb people that the earth is right? Who benefits from that? Yeah. Nobody. Yeah, but I don't know. They get so sucked in and then they, they believe that. And then the weight of that belief pulls them deeper and deeper and deeper and just takes more in with it before, before you know, it, there's no turning back and they're, they're just like weirdos, but yeah, I'm not gonna let that happen to me.

[01:47:10] Oh, I see.

[01:47:14] Jeff Nesbitt: [01:47:14] there. Yep. But I don't know. Doesn't seem like you're really into conspiracies. What are you into. Do you cook? I

[01:47:28] And then I think in the last few years, it's something I've really like picked up and started enjoying. I feel like it's, I get busy sometimes. And I'm like not doing it as often, but believe it or not, this is going to sound really silly. But after, when I was moved to my new place, I'm in Vancouver, I start getting those hello, fresh meals.

[01:48:00] [01:48:00] Um, and so since then I've like started just branching out, making different types of food, things that I would never even try to make at home, you know? And, um, so yeah, I dunno.

[01:48:16] Jessica Heriot: [01:48:16] there were some kind of like, uh, Hmm. There are these meatballs, like one time, I don't even know, like had like ginger in them and different.

[01:48:40] Jeff Nesbitt: [01:48:40] She was like, they're really good at making the menus kind of diverse.

[01:48:44] Jessica Heriot: [01:48:44] It was something definitely very different that I would never have thought of to like make on my own. And. I dunno, it was delicious. And even I'll make them for Richard sometimes. Cause I've kept some of the recipes now and just kind of put my own twist on them and he's like, oh my gosh, please make that again.

[01:49:12] Yeah. That's a

[01:49:29] It's yeah. Yeah. It's fun. Gosh,

[01:49:33] Jeff Nesbitt: [01:49:33] She's over five feet tall. What? Yeah, it's crazy. I was looking at the pictures from the, when Amelia was born and she's like up to my belly button now. She's like up to my shoulders. Oh gosh. She's huge. And old Sawyer 12. He's also five feet tall.

[01:49:56] Jessica Heriot: [01:49:56] before the boys. I were being like the tall girl. [01:50:00] Really? Yeah. Like looking back at pictures, like in grade school. And like, I was always like, actually.

[01:50:20] We always be like in the back, in the middle of the tallest ones, you know? Cause the boys hadn't caught up yet. So

[01:50:47] Jessica Heriot: [01:50:47] Oh man. Oh man. To be young again, a lot of awkward times at certain times. Yeah.

[01:50:54] Middle school was,

[01:50:57] Jeff Nesbitt: [01:50:57] I had a bleached [01:51:00] blonde buzz cut like M and M oh seventh grade. Yeah. I look back at pictures now. I'm just like, what were you doing? It was a horrible time. I like turned orange too. It wasn't. Oh, it looked real bad. Real bad. Yeah. Hard year. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

[01:51:20] Jessica Heriot: [01:51:20] I, I miss it though. , Because even when I went to Seattle, I coached at Roosevelt high school up there. I coached cheer for two years while I was up there. I didn't really miss it. I just like, cause originally when I went to school, I thought I was going to be a teacher that was kind of like, I liked teaching people.

[01:51:37] Jeff Nesbitt: [01:51:37] that me too, actually. That was my plan. I just

[01:51:56] But also try, I really try to relate everything to like real [01:52:00] life, you know, how is this gonna affect you? And you know, like you come to practice on time because someday you're going to have a job and you have to be on time. You know, like just even little things like that. I would really try to help make it about life and teach them about life as much as I could and be like, I know I'm not probably the greatest one out there doing it.

[01:52:17] Jeff Nesbitt: [01:52:17] know, that's what makes you the greatest, like that trying that's what sports are for is to teach life skills. And they work really, really well for that. I always think about that when people who don't have their kids in sports, because they're not like, I don't know though, you don't want to force a kid to do sports either, but yeah, they, they learn some really powerful skills.

[01:52:38] Jessica Heriot: [01:52:38] Any sport or activity, I feel like it's just so beneficial in those years and. You know, as a kid, you don't realize everything that you're getting from it or learning from it in the moment until later on, you can look back and be like, oh yeah, you know the shapes you.

[01:53:00]Those are both really important skills. Yeah. Yeah. I have a really good time with my kids in sports. Like actually, I mean, I just got done ranting this morning about how I hate baseball now, because I'm a hypocrite, but I don't hate baseball. I just feel like a villain because I've had to miss so many games this year that I now resent baseball because I'm like, why do you keep happening without me?

[01:53:26] Jessica Heriot: [01:53:26] be there all the time.

[01:53:48] Melissa was able to watch the games cause she's actually a huge baseball fan. She just loves to watch baseball. And obviously she loves her kids, so she's gonna be into it. But, , I'm not a huge baseball fan. [01:54:00] I like it. It's, it's enjoyable to play, but

[01:54:19] So I've started to getting kind of tired of the whole thing. And now I've just been acting like a Dick about it. Um, this is I didn't plan on sharing this on the podcast, but. Yeah,

[01:54:40] Yeah. And then during the times as well, it's just been tricky and then it's hard to balance anyway,

[01:55:04] And then something in culture changed , during the course of going from childhood to adulthood. Now the norm is the kids have the stuff to do and the parents go. And so it feels like I got fucked because

[01:55:20] Jeff Nesbitt: [01:55:20] When do I get to play

[01:55:35] Jessica Heriot: [01:55:35] to which there are more. Yeah, but then I would just fill that and wish there were more again, so

[01:55:40] There's there's no, no shortage of stuff to do. The world is full of interesting

[01:55:58] I was coaching cheer. I was [01:56:00] taking photos. I'm like, I was doing kind of like four jobs at one time. You know, I just, I don't know. I just liked, I liked being busy and contributing in different ways, so yeah. And why

[01:56:11] Jessica Heriot: [01:56:11] Take advantage of that. I do like my me time at home, but for the most part, I like to be up and about doing things.

[01:56:17] Jeff Nesbitt: [01:56:17] Yeah. I will feel like I have to like, if, if it's, if I have a chunk of time, that's like, I don't have scheduled for something. Sometimes I just stand in the middle of the room and like, what should I do? What should I do? I only, I only have two hours and it's like, yeah, it's, there's so many things I want to do that.

[01:56:43] Jessica Heriot: [01:56:43] to do. Yeah. Yeah. I know. I get anxious. Like I'm like, oh my gosh, I have time. Why do I have this free time? I must, I need to find something to fill this time with what if I

[01:56:52] Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. Well, Jessica, we it's been two hours and oh, that went fast. It doesn't, it it's like a [01:57:00] time warp. And yeah. Thank you so much for coming. Do you have anything else you want to hit before we get out of here?

[01:57:07] Jeff Nesbitt: [01:57:07] to do this. Yeah, thank you for coming.

[01:57:26] And yeah. And I actually would just, I was just like, I'm just going to ask her before I think too much about it. So I just sent you a message and , it's like, yeah, well we'll do it. And it just never worked. Schedules were

[01:57:41] I was one of the first people he asked