The messages that we have inside ourselves have unbelievable opportunities to engage, create, and reflect on the variety of information we have to share. Instead of viewing this opportunity to share as fearful, what if we changed the way that your fear can empower others with your amazing, untold information? Tackling various strategies is NOT the way to look at this problem, and today’s episode explores how to unlock this unbridled power into a new way of expression that is more comfortable in expressing.

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Intro/Outro By: Michael Dugan, Podcast Host: Voice4Chefs

Welcome to the podcast where relationships, confidence, and

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determination all converge into

an amazing, heartfelt experience.

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This is Speaking From The Heart.

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Joshua: Welcome back to episode number

115 of Speaking from the Heart, and

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today I'm going to give you some of my

deepest, darkest secrets as it relates

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to the fear of public speaking...

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at least the untold fears of public

speaking, for that matter, because I think

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oftentimes we are put into a situation

where we think that we need to have

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all these incredible skills in order

to share our messaging, but yet, at the

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same time, that's only one piece of the

overall puzzle to be able to unlock your

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true potential when it comes to speaking.

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Now, it's obvious.

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This is something that I really wanted

to work on for so many years of my

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life, especially after I got involved

with Toastmasters, in which we had

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a variety of different guests, even

early on in this podcast, relating to

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Toastmasters and how they have created

some of the best versions of themselves.

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We even spent some time in the month

of November of last year talking

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about how those people on the show

really have taken themselves up to

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the next level when it comes to their

Toastmasters journey and even applying

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some of the skills that they've learned.

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If you haven't heard about Toastmasters,

it's a wonderful organization that's

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geared towards public speaking

and leadership development, and I

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encourage everyone to go check out

a club near you, whether you are

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online or in person for that matter.

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It will help you with not only achieving

what's ultimately possible, but also

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making the world a better place, but

you will also be able to network with

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a whole bunch of people that are like

minded and maybe even going through

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that fear of public speaking, but

let me just back up a bit before I go

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into more of my sales pitch as always

about Toastmasters, and talk to you

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about the fear, which is what we're

going to overcome in today's episode.

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I think that we often have to think of a

strategy in which we're going to tackle

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the audience, and I always say to my

clients you need to know your audience

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before you do anything else so that you're

able to have the effective messaging

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that is necessary to reach them, but it

isn't about how you reach that audience,

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it's about what you do to reach that

audience: surveys, asking questions of

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the people that you will be working with

on developing that keynote message, even

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some of the things that are available

to you online, for that matter, can help

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you with drafting that all important

message that you get to practice.

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It's no secret.

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I am just starting out in my public

speaking journey and continue to work

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on my professionalism as it relates to

that, and I've had plenty of successes

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already starting out, but those

successes started from a homegrown

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effort of people that have already

seen what I've been able to do and

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continue to build on that word of mouth.

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Now, there are plenty of podcasts out

there, including my friends at Speaker

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Lab that I am really excited to start

working with at some point down the road

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as it relates to drafting that message

and being able to be more effective in

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the delivery of leads and working with

others, but it isn't just about doing that

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from a professional speaking standpoint.

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I'm looking at you, somebody that's being

asked to come up with a presentation

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in about a couple weeks and you have

to figure out what is necessary for

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you to be effective, but sometimes even

those couple weeks turn into 24 hours.

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You might be knowing what that audience

is and the specific things that you've

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been working on, but yet, how do you get

to the heart of really what's important to

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reach that all important point that you're

trying to make, and I think that we have

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to look at the fact that it's not about

the strategies that we do, it's about how

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we can unlock that unbridled power, that

way in which we can express ourselves more

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comfortably, while at the same time, being

able to express what's also on our hearts.

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The information that we have to share,

whether it's persuasive, informative,

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engaging, entertaining, regardless of the

rationale, the general or specific purpose

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as I usually tell my clients you need to

know, comes from the fact that we have to

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be able to understand what's inside of us.

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Oops!

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Did I just give you my secret

to understand what's in us?

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What might seem to be a simple overlooked

factor in our overall speaking development

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is sometimes what we miss out on the most,

which is connecting with our very selves.

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Now, you might be scratching your head

and asking yourself, "Yeah, that makes

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some sense, but the only problem, Josh,

is that I have to reach my audience.

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Those are not me.

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I am not the same as my audience, so

what does me have to do with them?"

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Well, It means everything, because

if you don't have that connection

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with your audience of the person who

is talking to them, you will never

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be able to reach the other side, and

I see speakers do it all the time.

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They try to start out with a question,

maybe even some sort of quote, that

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will connect with the audience in

an everyday fashion, but those are

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some of the tired and true methods.

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I've seen other speakers that are

really good at this, doing some of the

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most unbelievable things; making their

introductions tie into the overall fact

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of why they're all gathered here today.

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That is a master class speaker that

is able to paint a bigger, broader

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stroke of a picture, and which

will help you to connect all the

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dots by the very end of the story.

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There was a keynote speaker when

I was still going through high

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school by the name of Sam Glenn.

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He had a wonderful use of chalk to tell a

story, and it was also right after 9/11.

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You see, Sam really wanted to move the

crowd in a variety of different ways.

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He thought that maybe helping kids

understand the importance and the

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significance of living in America would

be the most important thing that you

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could ever convey, and Sam was able to

show it in this wonderful esque picture

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of an American Eagle as he was telling

what he needed to tell the audience in

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a variety of different broad strokes.

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Using chalk was one of the most amazing

things, even after over 20 years of not

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listening to Sam, it still resonates

with me, and I think that we often

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think about the fact that those people

that leave that lasting impression left

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a little bit of themselves as part of

that, and I think that's why we have to

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always think about the fact that it's

not just about the people that we reach.

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It's not just about the things

that we're trying to tell them.

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It's giving them a little bit of us.

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I was always afraid for the longest time

to be able to share my story, let alone

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even start this podcast, which I can't

believe, even as I continue to talk about

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it with you, that we're 115 episodes in.

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I would have never imagined that I would

be sharing a little bit of myself in every

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single episode, but here I am, continuing

to tell the story, breaking the myths

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that I often told of myself about public

speaking, let alone even on a medium

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such as a podcast, for that matter, to

continue to share what is really on my

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heart, to have that authentic conversation

with you, to be able to change what's

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happening in your heart and the ever

changing world that we live in, but the

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truth of the matter is, I was always

afraid of what that would look like.

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Trying to manifest something

like this is not easy to do.

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It means actually giving a little bit

of yourself; having a little bit of

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vulnerability, and realizing that if

you're going to ever engage and create

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and reflect on all the things that

require us to share with our audience,

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it means that we have to get over our

fear, not just of public speaking,

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but the fear of ourself and being

open when it really counts the most.

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As I've recorded these batch of episodes

that I continue to record, one of the

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most pressing things that I always find

important is that we need to be able to

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share our message with somebody that needs

to hear it, but if we don't share it soon

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enough, it's too late to be able to share

it with them, and what I mean by that is a

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friend of mine recently had a death, close

to her, of a friend, not family related,

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but of a friend, that if she would have

just been able to say some of the things

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that were really on her heart, whether

that was through a public speaking medium

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or some other way, she would have been

able to have that relationship be even

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more meaningful than it already was.

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Being able to tell people what you really

have inside your heart, oftentimes means

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getting on a big stage with over three

to five thousand people watching, and

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telling them that you care, that you

really matter, that it's okay to be afraid

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of what's ahead, and that changing the

fear that we have inside of ourselves

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means that we have to be able to use

the information that we're given in a

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way that maybe hasn't been presented

before, which we've talked about changing

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perspectives; changing that mindset,

and public speaking is no different.

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If you're really looking at how

somebody can be inspiring or

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entertaining or humorous, you have

to look no further than yourself.

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I've had a few clients in which I started

out last year with working on this

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concept, and I explored with them not

just what they have as hidden stories

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that oftentimes are overlooked, but even

that the smallest story, even the smallest

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things that have universal applicability,

means that you can make a meaningful

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connection based on the background that

you have, so if you want to be the most

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successful public speaker, let alone

have the most important message that

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you want to share, especially around

some group of people that you're trying

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to impress, open up a little bit, and

don't be afraid of the consequences

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that might come alongside of it.

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It doesn't mean that you have to bury

your entire soul, and I'm not asking

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you today to share your credit card

numbers or your social security numbers

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with me, so that I know that you have

an authentic, meaningful connection.

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It just means you have to realize

that we are all in this together.

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We all have unique problems and situations

that overlap each other, so when you

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were able to debunk this fear of public

speaking by thinking that you have to

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have this grandiose message, it just

means that you have to get over yourself.

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That is the untold fear that most

people don't even understand.

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If you're able to break that barrier,

that wall if you will, of not only

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existing with your audience as if you're

having a conversation with them, you will

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never be able to reach the true heights

of what public speaking really means.

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Whether you're leading a training

workshop, or you're doing something

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different with your audience as a

whole, it means you have to expose

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a little bit more of yourself than

you normally would, and for most

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people, that is very uncomfortable.

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It means that you are not feeling

good about who you are, and I've had

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explored on many episodes before about

the importance of value creation.

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Learning about who you are as your own

identity in order to move towards that

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purpose, so I encourage you, if you

haven't listened to those episodes,

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go back and listen to that dialogue.

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Listen to what I have to say when

it comes to generating not just that

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messaging, but that ability to create

the best version of yourself, but if

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you're ever going to get over your fear

of yourself in order to become the best

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public speaker, know that it isn't about

just the fear that you have to overcome.

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It means getting a little bit

more comfortable and practicing

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when it really counts the most.

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For the longest time of my life,

I've always thought that I needed

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to have all these immense skills.

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I needed to have this knowledge,

these abilities, this background.

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Of course, everybody needs to have a

niche, and I always struggled to find

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my niche, especially since I always

looked at the world, according to my

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therapist, as being black and white.

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I don't think she's too far off from the

truth, because I sometimes have a hard

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time being creative, and being creative

means that you have to explore realms

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that, oftentimes, are not what are really

the things that you should be working on.

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There are oftentimes the things

that you should be working on in

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order for you to be able to feel

like you're connected with everyone.

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That means going out, exploring

what the world has to offer.

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Stop living in your own bubble.

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Learning that sometimes the troubles

that we have in this world are all shared

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across a common dimension, but it also

means opening up before it's too late,

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because otherwise, that message that you

have, will never be shared with the world.

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There was a point in my life, over

4 years ago, that I thought that

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I needed to change that message.

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I needed to keep moving forward.

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I needed to stop living in the past.

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I needed to stop thinking

that nobody cared.

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The messages that I told myself, were

not just on the fact that I had a

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lot of things going on in my life.

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It was the fact that I had listened

to other people's stories, and them

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telling me that my story was no good;

that my story didn't matter, and that

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even sometimes for that matter, the

perspective that I would bring, was

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absolutely negative and latrocious.

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The thing is, when you know that you

are trying to work on yourself and

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you're really trying to work on the

things that you want to do in your

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life, you pour everything that you ever

have, every morsel, crumb, figment of

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imagination, into the power that you know

that you can convey to your audience.

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In other words, stop believing what

other people or other things have

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told you, even your own version of

yourself, so that you're able to

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say, "This is my message, and here

is why I'm telling it to you today."

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There are a lot of different ways

in which you could go about this.

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It's not just about writing a bunch

of ideas down, or even struggling to

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figure out what is truly necessary

for you to feel comfortable about

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the way that you express it.

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Whether it's about your vocal variety,

your body language, even your eye

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contact for that matter, those are

just some of the small points that

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matter in terms of the bigger picture.

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How do you rope in your audience?

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How do you create that value proposition

that they should be listening to you?

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What is it that you should conclude

with that makes it memorable so that

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others can remember who you are?

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I don't know about you, but if you ever

want to visit Sam Glenn, maybe he might

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be one of your first inspirations.

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I know I'm going to keep looking at him.

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I know I'm going to keep looking at

what he's been able to accomplish,

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especially since then, which has been

a remarkable motivational speaker,

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author, and artist career that he's had.

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There's plenty of YouTube videos to

prove it, but the things that we're

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really trying to unlock, the power

that we have in ourselves to view that

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opportunity, has to start with us.

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Open that window.

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Look inside your soul.

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What is it that you're

really afraid of not sharing?

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If you do share it, other people might

make fun of you, maybe even ridicule you,

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maybe even make you feel less of a human.

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Maybe those are the people that haven't

been in your corner all along, and maybe

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you need to stop listening to them today,

because the message and the power that

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you can share through your own words, your

own body language, the way in which you

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speak it, could be something of a gift

that somebody needs to hear today and

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you need to give it before it's too late.

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I know that after all this time, I am

finally doing something that is going

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to help impact so many different people,

and I can't wait to continue to work

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on that journey, and we'll share it

with you, and be able to work with you,

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one on one, because I know that every

time that I make a step towards that

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contribution, it's going to be a bigger,

better version of who I am, but more

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importantly, it's going to be a bigger,

better version of who you are, and as

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long as you can look at yourself in the

mirror at the end of the day, and know

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that you're giving it all you got, you

can overcome that fear of public speaking.

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You can not just be successful in the

personal and professional development, but

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you can also achieve greatness in so many

more ways than just the financial sense.

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It's only about what you have

that really matters the most,

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so share that gift today.

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Start testing it out, and trust me on

this, all the success that you ever

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wanted will be coming your way very soon.

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Thanks for listening to episode

number 115 of Speaking From the

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Heart, and I look forward to

hearing from your heart, very soon.

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Outro: Thanks for listening.

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For more information about our podcast

and future shows, search for Speaking From

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The Heart to subscribe and be notified

wherever you listen to your podcasts.

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Visit us at www.yourspeakingvoice.biz

for more information about potential

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services that can help you create

the best version of yourself.

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See you next time.