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6:09 Clap Your Hands If You Believe
Episode 9 • 30th March 2023 • Devil's Trap: A Supernatural Podcast • Don't Be A Dick Productions
00:00:00 01:16:02

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Jerk:

Welcome to this week's episode of Devils Trap Podcast. I'm Diana.

Bitch:

I'm Liz

Bitch:

still trapped in my childhood bedroom. So what episode is this? What are we doing? What are we doing?

Jerk:

Season six, episode nine, clap your hands if you believe.

Bitch:

Clap clap clap, we're going to clap back.

Jerk:

And that what's that I'm it came until I'm doing the beat but I said They'll clap your hands

Bitch:

Okay, I'm with you now. I'm with you.

Jerk:

I was trying to do it without clapping really loud in the microphone. Well, you

Bitch:

No,

Jerk:

know,

Bitch:

which everyone would have loved.

Jerk:

yeah, I was thinking of all of your ears. So yeah, what are you up to, Liz?

Bitch:

Well, in news of the kitty litter, we have finally achieved success. And one of the three chonkers has used the robot litter box. She jumped in, she was rewarded with a treat. She seemed very excited. I was very excited. I know I've seen the kitty litter box do like a cycle, but I didn't check to see it. Like it actually tracks like which cats and their by weight. So like I can tell like which ones, you know,

Jerk:

in.

Bitch:

but I mean, like, I also just want to see how much these cats weigh.

Jerk:

all

Bitch:

Cause

Jerk:

the

Bitch:

I

Jerk:

chonky-chonky

Bitch:

know it's like

Jerk:

cats.

Bitch:

15 pounds. Like it's something like.

Jerk:

I had a 17 pound cat at one point in time. It's wild.

Bitch:

Yeah, so that is my most exciting news and also since I'm still in San Antonio and the world is amazing here. I was at H.E.B. and I bought this reversing candle because you can just buy spells at the grocery

Jerk:

Yeah, yes you can.

Bitch:

store in San Antonio because

Jerk:

You can, you can, and I don't clip for the record.

Bitch:

it's great.

Jerk:

Dallas.

Bitch:

Yeah, I know.

Jerk:

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Bitch:

I mean, I got some cheese curds and like,

Jerk:

Thank

Bitch:

you know,

Jerk:

you. Bye.

Bitch:

some some pretty like tasty snacks and some like nice Icelandic yogurt,

Jerk:

Bye.

Bitch:

this

Jerk:

Bye.

Bitch:

candle, which will reverse something. It actually doesn't say what it does. It just says, it's Musica, right? So we know that's mystical. Allegro, which is fast, right? That means fast. And then there's a picture of like a cross, an evil eye. I'm not sure what that symbol is

Jerk:

hmm

Bitch:

doing.

Jerk:

90 degrees

Bitch:

Is that like shooting something? I think that may be a gun. But it is a double action candle. have an eye down here if it's doing something. So we're gonna burn this during this episode. I mean, honestly, like the warning is just like, don't burn down your house, don't put in

Jerk:

Right.

Bitch:

your stuff that catches fire. And that it was,

Jerk:

No magic warnings.

Bitch:

yeah, and that it was made in Nueva Leone. Like, oh, there is a fun, like don't run with the candle sign.

Jerk:

Hmm.

Bitch:

Although they look like they're, there's like a little girl pigtails. I think that looks like don't, don't kick the candle.

Jerk:

That's

Bitch:

I'm

Jerk:

probably

Bitch:

pretty sure.

Jerk:

good

Bitch:

So,

Jerk:

instructions.

Bitch:

if you're, if you're only listening to the audio version there is I'm showing pictures of very strange warning signs on my candle. So we are just going to burn my

Jerk:

I think those are all about intent.

Bitch:

reversible black red.

Jerk:

You have to focus your intent.

Bitch:

I'm just thinking this is going to reverse my luck,

Jerk:

I'm not sure if I'm doing this right, but I'm not sure if I'm doing this right. I'm not sure if I'm doing this right. I'm not sure if I'm doing this right. I'm not sure if I'm doing this right. I'm not sure if I'm doing this right. I'm not sure if I'm doing this right. I'm not sure if I'm doing this right. I'm not sure if I'm doing this right. I'm not sure if I'm doing this right. I'm not sure if I'm doing this right.

Bitch:

but would be really great if this like is a freaky Friday candle and I like the reversing like reverses me and Diana and then like I had to live a week in Diana's shoes and she's about to tell you what her shoes are like and she knows how gross my shoes are right now and neither of us want each other's shoes.

Jerk:

No, no, there are times in our lives that might be funny. This is not one of them. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Bitch:

All

Jerk:

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Bitch:

right,

Jerk:

Yeah.

Bitch:

so

Jerk:

Yeah. Yeah.

Bitch:

the

Jerk:

Yeah.

Bitch:

candle

Jerk:

Yeah.

Bitch:

is lit. So if we freaky Friday, that will let you know that what's going on with you.

Jerk:

In big music news in the city of Dallas, Texas, the legendary Longhorn Ballroom is reopening this week. That's kind of a big deal.

Bitch:

That was kind of a big deal. Why is it a big deal?

Jerk:

It's because the company I work for is the one reopening it, but it's a historic ballroom dating back

Bitch:

You

Jerk:

to:

Bitch:

can say that with more pride. Why do you go so quiet? You're just like, oh, the company I work for is kind of, like, nah, say that shit out loud. What's wrong with you?

Jerk:

Yeah,

Bitch:

I'm

Jerk:

so

Bitch:

sorry.

Jerk:

my company has been behind the renovation and reopening of Longhorn Ballroom. So in addition to other venues, music venues that we operate, it's a big deal for us. And it's a super big deal for music history, not only in Texas, but arguably nationally, but definitely in Dallas. Well, maybe.

Bitch:

I mean, when you put the sex pistols in there, then you cross the Atlantic and

Jerk:

Yeah,

Bitch:

we're

Jerk:

you know.

Bitch:

just, you know, all around. It's a globally important landmark that is haunted and filled with records.

Jerk:

oncert in that building since:

Bitch:

That

Jerk:

it's been

Bitch:

you

Jerk:

quite

Bitch:

know

Jerk:

a while

Bitch:

of, the ghosts have totally been having concerts in there.

Jerk:

Maybe

Bitch:

They have

Jerk:

so.

Bitch:

just ghost concerts all the time, and I'm sure it's swinging.

Jerk:

Yeah, I'm

Bitch:

And

Jerk:

sure.

Bitch:

there are no longer raccoons in there, just in case you're an inspector listening to this, the

Jerk:

There

Bitch:

raccoons,

Jerk:

are not.

Bitch:

the raccoons have been evicted. They have moved on to new homes.

Jerk:

Yes,

Bitch:

Hey,

Jerk:

definitely. I'm sure you have passed a health inspection. There's not a record in

Bitch:

sure,

Jerk:

there now.

Bitch:

there is no rest, sadly. Although, like, I would be very excited if there were. They had little tiny cowboy hats.

Jerk:

I

Bitch:

So...

Jerk:

know there was a deep discussion about this. There's names, cowboy hats needed, like a whole thing.

Bitch:

Maybe

Jerk:

Unfortunately,

Bitch:

we can at least find some

Jerk:

it was

Bitch:

taxi

Jerk:

better for them

Bitch:

leg,

Jerk:

to move on.

Bitch:

you know, but maybe our next taxi Dermade raccoon will find it when a little cowboy hat and a little long horn shirt

Jerk:

they have

Bitch:

and

Jerk:

a bunch of them in the stockyards in Fort Worth. Oh, they

Bitch:

which

Jerk:

did last

Bitch:

is

Jerk:

time

Bitch:

definitely

Jerk:

I was there.

Bitch:

haunted. And that's just

Jerk:

The stockyards.

Bitch:

not me saying that, that shit's

Jerk:

Oh yeah, the

Bitch:

haunted.

Jerk:

stockyards are totally

Bitch:

That

Jerk:

haunted.

Bitch:

shit is haunted AF.

Jerk:

Aren't they doing like a haunted tour in the stockyards

Bitch:

They're

Jerk:

now?

Bitch:

doing them now, yeah, because I've been wanting to... Oh, and you can also stay at Miss Molly's, which is like

Jerk:

I don't want to

Bitch:

not

Jerk:

say that,

Bitch:

only

Jerk:

no.

Bitch:

a haunted hotel, it's awesome, it's a haunted brothel.

Jerk:

No,

Bitch:

So

Jerk:

not

Bitch:

it's

Jerk:

doing

Bitch:

like

Jerk:

that.

Bitch:

haunted by ladies of the evening. Ooh,

Jerk:

No, we should go,

Bitch:

they're

Jerk:

we

Bitch:

the

Jerk:

should

Bitch:

best

Jerk:

go.

Bitch:

ghosts.

Jerk:

We should go do a, I'll do a haunted tour in the stockyards. I just don't want to stay at the haunted brothel.

Bitch:

Thank you. Bye.

Jerk:

Is that a trade off? Fair trade off? Ha ha ha ha ha.

Bitch:

Fine, yes, we can do that, but.

Jerk:

Oh, but anyways, so yeah, so my life has been consumed.

Bitch:

Thank you. Bye.

Jerk:

That's why I've alluded to being real busy with work, but that's why it just means things are crazy, but it's okay. It's good crazy. It's

Bitch:

But

Jerk:

exciting

Bitch:

crazy

Jerk:

crazy. It's exciting

Bitch:

is good.

Jerk:

crazy. It's exciting crazy. It's exciting crazy. It's exciting crazy. It's exciting crazy.

Bitch:

Exciting, yes. Hard work is paying off, hopefully.

Jerk:

Yes, and this sent me some beautiful flowers to celebrate it.

Bitch:

It's

Jerk:

And it's my birthday week.

Bitch:

also, it was like,

Jerk:

Ha, ha, ha.

Bitch:

and also.

Jerk:

And it's my birthday week. Ha, ha, ha. And it's my birthday week. Ha, ha, ha. And it's my birthday week. Ha, ha, ha. And it's my birthday week. Ha, ha, ha. And it's my birthday week. Ha, ha, ha. And it's my birthday week. Ha, ha, ha. And it's my birthday week. Ha, ha, ha. And it's my birthday week. Ha, ha, ha. And it's my birthday week. Ha, ha, ha. And it's my birthday week. Ha, ha, ha. And it's my birthday week. Ha, ha, ha. And it's my Also, happy birthday to me! Here's a new music venue! That's the universe's gift to me.

Bitch:

Hey, you're like birthing it like a child on your

Jerk:

I

Bitch:

birthday.

Jerk:

am! It's

Bitch:

Hey,

Jerk:

gonna

Bitch:

just

Jerk:

have my

Bitch:

like,

Jerk:

birthday.

Bitch:

and you'll always remember like when people like, when did you reopen the longhorn? You're like, I can

Jerk:

I

Bitch:

tell

Jerk:

will. I'll

Bitch:

you. Yep.

Jerk:

know the date off the top of my head

Bitch:

Yep.

Jerk:

because of that. But yeah, so now it's pretty funny, but it's cool. So I'll be, everybody's like, what are you doing to celebrate your birthday? I'm like, I'm gonna be at the Longhorn Ballroom all weekend. I don't fucking know what you're

Bitch:

Thank

Jerk:

talking

Bitch:

you.

Jerk:

about, but it's fine. It's good, it's just funny. So,

Bitch:

Big!

Jerk:

yeah. So all my stalkers, I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding.

Bitch:

And once again,

Jerk:

Don't worry, we have really good security.

Bitch:

we have security alarms and lots of dogs

Jerk:

Yes.

Bitch:

and guns.

Jerk:

Yeah. It was just...

Bitch:

And we'll hunt you down and shame you.

Jerk:

But yeah, so yeah, that's been most of my life lately. All of my life, last couple of weeks, especially. So yeah. Do you want to talk about this episode?

Bitch:

Yeah, I do. I'm very excited about this episode. It's a wonderful, joyous, happy, not a bummer.

Jerk:

Not

Bitch:

We're

Jerk:

a bummer.

Bitch:

definitely after, you know, after last week's venture into bullshit, which is just going to pretend that episode did not happen and move on. Okay, so this is clap your hands if you believe which if you are not familiar with is referenced to be Japan, in which, you know, Peter asks the children to clap their hands that they believe in fairies because Tinker Bell was dying. God, I'm so fucking sad. That's, I was just messed up, like, oh, all right. So this fairy's dying, clap your hands. And if you don't, she gotta

Jerk:

Uh-huh.

Bitch:

die. All

Jerk:

Yeah.

Bitch:

th,:

Jerk:

Playa. Playa.

Bitch:

plaid.

Jerk:

Playa. Playa. Playa.

Bitch:

oh you can tell Liz like saw some of her relatives this weekend. she just said plaid. ohhh.

Jerk:

That was amazing.

Bitch:

back down there. you go back down there hillbilly. all right all right. and it was written by Ben Edlund. and so we started off with this like what is this opening in Elwood, Indiana? what's happening?

Jerk:

We've got a cornfield in Elwood, Indiana with some teens making out on a blanket, which always looked wildly uncomfortable

Bitch:

This

Jerk:

to

Bitch:

will

Jerk:

me,

Bitch:

it's

Jerk:

but whatever.

Bitch:

uncomfortable and will end poorly because

Jerk:

Yes.

Bitch:

you can't make out you also like cornfield No, thank you. Like they're all creepy as fuck. Like I don't understand like what's sexy about them and like Then he like Patrick sees lights in the cornfield and he go that's where snakes are

Jerk:

Yeah, he's like something out the corn.

Bitch:

It's a snake! Don't go in there! It's a snake!

Jerk:

And she's like, nah, don't go out there, but he's like, nope, I'm gonna go look for it. So she follows him because, and he finds a clearing. This is where I got really excited. That's so excited. And then he's in this clearing and there's a bright light and the Patrick disappears and they zoom out and it's a crop circle.

Bitch:

Yes,

Jerk:

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!

Bitch:

yes, a bigger crop circle. It's a crop

Jerk:

That's,

Bitch:

circle in a bigger crop circle.

Jerk:

Matt, it was a small piece of a giant crop circle arrangement. It was awesome. And then we get this sick ass opening to this episode. And then we get this sick ass opening to this episode. And then we get this sick ass opening to this episode. And then we get this sick ass opening to this episode. And then we get this sick ass opening to this episode. And then we get this sick ass opening to this episode.

Bitch:

If you haven't figured out, Diana likes ex files a

Jerk:

I like

Bitch:

lot.

Jerk:

X files and I was just really into like, I don't know. Like I like, I'm trying to remember like what examples of things are like, I remember watching Close Encounters of a third kind when I was like, like young.

Bitch:

Yeah, and also you loved

Jerk:

And

Bitch:

our bell. We already,

Jerk:

I was

Bitch:

but

Jerk:

an

Bitch:

we've already

Jerk:

art

Bitch:

mentioned

Jerk:

bell

Bitch:

our

Jerk:

fanatic.

Bitch:

bell once night. Yeah.

Jerk:

So I was like, like, full on would stay up late to listen to art bell back in the day. So like,

Bitch:

Because you had

Jerk:

I

Bitch:

to.

Jerk:

love

Bitch:

That's

Jerk:

this shit.

Bitch:

how

Jerk:

Well,

Bitch:

you had to listen to Art Bo.

Jerk:

yeah, overnight

Bitch:

And all

Jerk:

that was

Bitch:

the people

Jerk:

it.

Bitch:

who called in. I miss it. It's not the same anymore.

Jerk:

So anyways, let me get this badass intro where it's a stylized version of supernatural intro, but it's like X-Files. And then instead of the truth is out there, it says the truth is in there. Which was. Which was.

Bitch:

It's

Jerk:

Which was. Which

Bitch:

lovely.

Jerk:

was. Which was. Which was. Which was. Which was. Which was. Which was. Which was. Which was. Which was. Which was. Which was. Which was. Which was. Which was. Which was. Which was.

Bitch:

in there.

Jerk:

All right, so we open this episode really now with looks like one on one. We're getting like a monologue interview responses direct to the camera. First person, I guess is the word then of people talking about how they feel about extraterrestrials because apparently now Elwood, Indiana is considered a hotbed of extraterrestrial activity. And we get an interview with Wayne Whitaker Jr. kicking off. And he, um, he, he, can he records interviews with people who have seen strange lights in the sky and and just kind of like tries to document what's what they've seen We get a super hippie chick who just wants to welcome the extra trust reels We've got a cop saying like yeah, everybody's really talking about all these extra trust reels We've got four missing person right now like for real and I don't think it's ufo's And then we've got patrick's girlfriend Followed him into the woods and she's just very upset that he's missing and got abducted And then we get an older woman who says it's fairies. It's not aliens.

Bitch:

And in between there though, we get mentioned one of my favorite terms, which is a UFO flap. And do you know what a UFO flap is? If you listen to it.

Jerk:

I

Bitch:

Okay.

Jerk:

do not.

Bitch:

So this was a term that originated in the 40s and 50s when there is a sighting of UFOs, aka unidentified flying objects, and it refers to a period of time where there is an increased activity of UFOs in, I forgot what they're calling them now. There's a new word for it. dammit,

Jerk:

I am.

Bitch:

you ufologists, I know you have a new word, but basically

Jerk:

That's

Bitch:

like

Jerk:

it.

Bitch:

a flap is like, you know, birds, like a flock of birds and stuff. So ever since then, like every like each of like

Jerk:

So it's

Bitch:

the

Jerk:

a cluster of sightings, kind

Bitch:

it's a cluster

Jerk:

of.

Bitch:

of UFO sightings. So like last podcast and left just did something about the double flap, which was not only a cluster of aliens, but also a cluster of big feet, big foot sasquatches. I don't know what

Jerk:

Hmm

Bitch:

the plural is, but you know, but I just also love the flap. Also the summer that was written by chatGBT.

Jerk:

Hmm.

Bitch:

Diana gets

Jerk:

Damn

Bitch:

his

Jerk:

it.

Bitch:

look at her face every time I bring up AI and I kind of love it

Jerk:

Well, you can just file that in the same category that you have the all the fanfic stuff that makes me uncomfortable in.

Bitch:

Like, Winces? What? Uh, so... Sam's, like, kinda mean.

Jerk:

Yeah, so

Bitch:

To...

Jerk:

they're the ones conducting these interviews. We

Bitch:

Yeah.

Jerk:

kind of like finally after we see all these interviews, it was actually shot, I really put together, kind of cool, I thought, where you're seeing these interviews with all these individuals, and then we find out the whole reason that these interviews are taking place is that the brothers are interviewing these people. Although that was a cool way to kind of come around to it.

Bitch:

Yeah, I

Jerk:

But

Bitch:

liked it.

Jerk:

yeah. But yeah, Sam, Sam, Solar Sam's dick.

Bitch:

He's hot and but he isn't insulting the cat ladies and Dean's just like dude empathy

Jerk:

I did like add some glitter to the glue, your sniffing was pretty funny, but um,

Bitch:

He's fucking

Jerk:

anyways.

Bitch:

hilarious! I love him! We'll get more into why I love Sola Sam later, but...

Jerk:

So yeah, he's reminding him to be, Dean's reminding him to be empathetic and he's like, look, you know, way back before you would have like given earlier your puppy doll guy was a doe eyes, but, and, um, look, you'd have to have to take care. And Sam's like, wait, I thought you want to be honest. So you're asking me to fake it. And he's like, yeah, yeah, just fake it. Thanks. You want to be a real boy? Do you want to be a real boy? Pinocchio, fake it. And Dean's going to be his Jiminy Cricket. And he's like, yeah, yeah, just fake it. Thanks. You want to be a real boy? Do you want to be a real boy? Pinocchio, fake it. And Dean's going to be his Jiminy Cricket.

Bitch:

And he is, he's going to be Sam's puppet master, master of puppets. But Sam says, you know, like, look, man, I have been faking it and it's exhausting. And I know, man, like, you know, as someone who has faith to being, you know, normal in many situations and just pretending like I don't want to talk about weird shit like this show. Like, I get it. Like, it's hard not being yourself, Sam. I understand. And if, you know, yourself is a. available guy who's kind of witty and it's pretty hot. Okay, so we got to a watch shop.

Jerk:

Yes, and we've got it's Brennan's watchworks. And, um, they want to talk to Mr. Brennan about Patrick, the boy who disappeared. And basically they get to, so Sam and Dean are there, they're talking to the dad and, um, they're pretending to be press. And he's like, yeah, my son was the first to be taken, but he's real vague, but like, he's kind of evasive, but also like, kind of trying to answer stuff. It's kind of a weird vibe, super weird vibe, because he's just paused it that his son's not coming back. And then they're like, well, that's fucking weird. Why are you so sure about that? He goes true crime on you Liz. And he goes after the first 72 hours, it's pretty hard to find a missing person.

Bitch:

And

Jerk:

It's

Bitch:

we

Jerk:

been

Bitch:

know

Jerk:

weeks.

Bitch:

it's a 48. That's there's debt, you know, TV show is dedicated to the shit. Get with it, Mr. Brennan, but.

Jerk:

Yeah, 72 is very generous.

Bitch:

Thank you. Bye.

Jerk:

But, but then they leave. So our brothers leave and we say, zoomed in on Mr. Brennan because he is talking to a watch. That's weird.

Bitch:

Not weird.

Jerk:

He asks if it's all right and the watch turns, like rotates.

Bitch:

And maybe just a watch talks to me. It could be a smart watch.

Jerk:

very smart different kind

Bitch:

It's

Jerk:

of smartwatch.

Bitch:

a really smart watch.

Jerk:

Yeah. So they're leaving and Dean's like, yeah, he's hiding something. Why don't you keep an eye here? Just don't make any judgment calls or do anything. Just keep an eye out and call me if something happens. Well, I go look at these crop circles. And by the time it gets to the crop circles, it's already dark out. The time of day in this episode is very weird. It makes very little sense. I'm just gonna call that out.

Bitch:

And some of it is on purpose, right? Because we're shifting, time will shift because of the fairies. But yeah, no, all of a sudden we're dark, Andrew in a cornfield. How the fuck did you find the crop circle in a cornfield? Have you ever

Jerk:

in the

Bitch:

tried

Jerk:

dark.

Bitch:

to find anything in a cornfield in the middle of the night, sir? I don't think

Jerk:

It's

Bitch:

you

Jerk:

difficult,

Bitch:

have. Cause

Jerk:

no.

Bitch:

you know what looks the same?

Jerk:

Everything.

Bitch:

Every fucking row of corn looks goddamn same. Like

Jerk:

Yes.

Bitch:

you can't see it. Like there isn't like, you know, a flashlight coming down me and like corn circles here. Like.

Jerk:

Yeah, so Dean finds the crop circle. He's in the middle. His phone rings at Sam. And Sam's like, the only thing this guy's up to was alcoholism, which is a funny find coming from Sam who's also

Bitch:

pot

Jerk:

drinking. Yeah.

Bitch:

kettle.

Jerk:

Um. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Bitch:

Yeah,

Jerk:

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Bitch:

because

Jerk:

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Bitch:

you're

Jerk:

Yeah. Yeah.

Bitch:

also

Jerk:

Yeah. Yeah.

Bitch:

drinking

Jerk:

Yeah. Yeah.

Bitch:

right along with him.

Jerk:

But then there's a bright light over Dean, which is probably not great right now since he's in the crop circle. And he's yelling like really funny, like the single words to Dean as he tries running from whatever is chasing him with this bright light. Like UFO, close encounter. And Sam just has fucking snarky responses about the fourth kind of close encounter being a butt thing.

Bitch:

Okay, so I actually did not know this until like I looked it up. That's an actual scale. Did you know that? Like that

Jerk:

I did

Bitch:

is an

Jerk:

not.

Bitch:

actual scale of things. Okay, so a close encounter is an event in which a person sees an identified flying object

Jerk:

Right.

Bitch:

or a UTI or whatever they're calling it now. And so like...

Jerk:

Are you gonna retract infection? I was like wait.

Bitch:

I don't know, I don't know who was called. I know it's something different. It could be a UTI. Who knows? I've heard that word a lot lately. So the scaling of these encounters come from the first UFO researcher, J. Allen Hynek's book, The UFO Experience, Scientific Inquiry. And there's six on the scale, and they're all kind of like rated by how close you are to the aliens. So one

Jerk:

Oh.

Bitch:

through three are kind of looped together. And that's like, the first one is you just see, You know you see lights the second one is like discs So that's usually like if you see UFOs in the daytime like I'm like the

Jerk:

Okay.

Bitch:

oval shapes The third one is radar confirmation, right? So then so we can see a beep beep beep boop and so that's that's the third one So but when you get to close encounters of the first kind that is a visual sighting of a UFO Less than like 500 feet or 150 meters for those of you who get to use a metric system away encounters of the second kind is a UFO event with a physical effect. So that could be like your radio fritz is out,

Jerk:

Right.

Bitch:

or it leaves like a crop circle, right? So that's the second. And then the third kind is when there is an animated, animated entity present. So anytime you see like a, an actual alien or like a robot or anything that came out of a ship, then that's kind.

Jerk:

Okay.

Bitch:

Yeah, and that's where it stops.

Jerk:

So it wasn't just a random movie name noted.

Bitch:

It wasn't a random movie name and the fourth kind could be but stuff because he didn't go beyond the third kind. So the fourth kind could be your tie down to a table and getting probed.

Jerk:

Well, I will add here that we were talking about, we couldn't remember the new terminology. One of the new terminologies is out currently as we've been talking, actually, it's actually been in the news a lot in the

Bitch:

Mm-hmm.

Jerk:

last, I'd say three to six months about how what the government is saying about unidentified

Bitch:

UFOs are real,

Jerk:

flying

Bitch:

yeah.

Jerk:

objects, yes, but also UAP is the other term that's being used. It's the National Aeronautics and Space Administration uses it as, that means unidentified anomalous phenomena to describe observations

Bitch:

Nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-n

Jerk:

of the sky Observations of the sky that cannot be identified as aircraft or

Bitch:

Uh-huh.

Jerk:

as known natural phenomena. There

Bitch:

Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do

Jerk:

you go. Yeah. Yeah.

Bitch:

So, also it was very hard when I was writing about the flap to not be writing about the fap that I had there a couple of times. It was the great fap. All right. And so Dean is... So, Dean is... So, Dean is... So, Dean is... So, Dean is... So, Dean is... So, Dean is... So, Dean is... So, Dean is... So, Dean is... So, Dean is... So, Dean is... So, Dean is... So, Dean is... So, Dean is... So, Dean

Jerk:

Well, where's Tom DeLong when we need him?

Bitch:

is... So, Dean is... So, Dean is... So, Dean is...

Jerk:

We should have had him as a special guest on this.

Bitch:

we should have.

Jerk:

Thanks, Lincoln 82. I guess you didn't know Tom DeLong's a UFO expert. You're welcome. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry,

Bitch:

a ufologist, someone say. So Dean is running through the corn, which he knows

Jerk:

running.

Bitch:

is scratchy. It's

Jerk:

Yeah.

Bitch:

so scratchy.

Jerk:

And it tries to remind Sam to have empathy, but, uh, Sam just orders another beer and Dean gets beamed up.

Bitch:

Yeah, and not only Sam ordering beer, he's also checking out his waitresses butt. So we're getting a lot of Dean's behavior like on Sam now. We're so, but Dean is also taunting the light. So kind of, you know, he kind

Jerk:

Yeah.

Bitch:

of gets what he had coming. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

Jerk:

Okay, so we've got Sam calling Dean's phone to try to locate where Dean went. And he finds the phone laying on the ground in the middle of a crop circle. Oh, weird. And we do have in the background as he approaches an RV park near the crop circles. It sounds like the music from Close Encounters of the Third Kind, but just like a slightly, it sounds slightly modified to me, but it was pretty funny. They put

Bitch:

The content

Jerk:

it this way.

Bitch:

we don't have been modified enough so we don't have to pay a copyright

Jerk:

probably. So we've got this RV park full of UFO hunters and believers with Christmas lights strong lights telescopes, their own UFO versions of murder walls, the whole thing.

Bitch:

Yeah, and it's also in weird, you know, we live in a simulation land right by where I'm currently staying. There is a food truck park that's called like Area 51 Food Truck Park, or maybe it's Area if I don't know, like how that maybe it's 512, I don't know. But so it looks

Jerk:

probably.

Bitch:

like this. It

Jerk:

That's

Bitch:

really

Jerk:

hilarious.

Bitch:

does look like this. I'm like, oh, creepy.

Jerk:

That's funny. Yeah. And so Sam notices Wayne's there again. And we saw it at the very, very, well at the beginning of this episode. And Sam's like, hey, yeah, yeah, UFOs are real. And Wayne's like, yeah, like I said, the truth is out there. If we got an actual, we got it out there. Got the quote, got the quote. And Sam's like, hey, so how do you like get one of these like ETs, like since you hunt them? Because he's thinking that Wayne's like they are.

Bitch:

How

Jerk:

hunters.

Bitch:

do you hunt them? How do you hunt the E.T.?

Jerk:

And he's like flipping through his pamphlet and he's just wildly disappointed. He's just like, my brother was abducted. And then the hippie chick from the intro wanders off of her heavily decorated school bus and comes over asking if Sam's okay about his brother being abducted. And Sam replies that he's fine because he's had time to adjust.

Bitch:

He's had, he has. He's been hours.

Jerk:

It's been a half an hour.

Bitch:

Thank you. Bye.

Jerk:

She asked if it was a childhood thing. He's like, no, it's been about a half hour. Anyways, so he, instead, Sam turns back to Mock Wayne for being,

Bitch:

It's hot.

Jerk:

for hunting ETs for 30 years and having no concrete data or leads. And basically you just suck at, you must just suck at hunting UFOs. And so,

Bitch:

And it's so,

Jerk:

burn.

Bitch:

yeah, it burns, but it burns really good. I really, oh, Sola Sam is the best Sam.

Jerk:

but

Bitch:

So,

Jerk:

our little

Bitch:

oh,

Jerk:

hippie chick's gonna help Sam.

Bitch:

she's gonna help him, all right, help him with something. And we're gonna cut back to our cornfield. So, yeah, I'm gonna cut back to the cornfield. So, yeah, I'm gonna cut back to the cornfield. So, yeah, I'm gonna cut back to the cornfield. So, yeah, I'm gonna cut back to the cornfield.

Jerk:

Yeah. And Dean gets dropped back in the middle of the crop circle. Guns blazin'.

Bitch:

And it's adorable. Like he does a chemizani. He's just like pew, pew, pew, pew, pew, pew, pew. Actually, that was like, he wasn't pew, pew. He had like a knife. Like he had like, what gun? He was stabbing. He's

Jerk:

It

Bitch:

like,

Jerk:

was

Bitch:

he's like

Jerk:

really

Bitch:

stabbing.

Jerk:

funny.

Bitch:

He was like. He was stabbing. He was stabbing. He was stabbing. He was stabbing. He was stabbing. He

Jerk:

It

Bitch:

was stabbing.

Jerk:

was really

Bitch:

He

Jerk:

funny.

Bitch:

was stabbing.

Jerk:

We had a

Bitch:

He

Jerk:

knife

Bitch:

was stabbing. He

Jerk:

and

Bitch:

was stabbing. He was

Jerk:

one

Bitch:

stabbing.

Jerk:

gun

Bitch:

He was

Jerk:

and

Bitch:

stabbing.

Jerk:

one

Bitch:

He was stabbing.

Jerk:

stabby

Bitch:

He was stabbing. He was

Jerk:

and

Bitch:

stabbing.

Jerk:

knifey.

Bitch:

He was stabbing.

Jerk:

Yeah.

Bitch:

He was stabbing. He was stabbing.

Jerk:

And so we know Dean's back. And so he goes to the motel room by himself because he's like, well, fuck. He's middle of field by himself and walks into this. Hey, this motel room is real weird with a lot of corn decor.

Bitch:

I mean, yeah, it's a corn town. Lots of corn holes.

Jerk:

weird.

Bitch:

So.

Jerk:

But Sam is currently banging hippie chick.

Bitch:

Yeah, be sure it is.

Jerk:

And the chicks just said, no, she's all over Sam. She's like, oh, they brought your brother back.

Bitch:

Yeah, but Sparrow also understands that Sam and Dean need time together as family.

Jerk:

right. So she's gonna leave, but she asks Dean what it was like. And he says they were grabby incandescent douchebags.

Bitch:

Ooh!

Jerk:

And Dean's pissed because he's mad at Sam for not even trying to look for him. He's like, you know, I was abducted and you're getting, you're just here banging patchouli. That's what he says. Um,

Bitch:

And Samus is like, hey, man, I don't think she smelled that bad.

Jerk:

But then we figure out why Dean's really mad is to Dean. He's only been gone for like an hour. So he's like, what the fuck? If we got an hour and you didn't even like look for me. And Sam was like, no, you've been gone like all night. It's fucking 4am. So I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,

Bitch:

Even, yeah,

Jerk:

it.

Bitch:

but still Sam, it's 4 a.m. He's been gone for like literally like not even a whole day and you're already fucking Sparrow,

Jerk:

Well.

Bitch:

the patchouli chick and now you're gonna smell like patchouli for a while. Oh

Jerk:

I think that's the bigger disappointment here.

Bitch:

man, your dick's gonna smell like patchouli. Yeah.

Jerk:

Oh.

Bitch:

Oh yeah, so. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Jerk:

So Sam tries to distract by being like, oh,

Bitch:

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Jerk:

it was a UFO time slip. Here, do some shots, Dean. It's basically his way of working around this.

Bitch:

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Jerk:

Ah.

Bitch:

But again,

Jerk:

[???]

Bitch:

I also appreciate Solas Sam as like, oh, you're having some problems. Have some whiskey.

Jerk:

Oh,

Bitch:

That's sometimes

Jerk:

check this out.

Bitch:

that's a kind of love you need.

Jerk:

sometimes. Yes. So he's Dean's trying to explain where he was. It's like, look, it was bright white. It was, you know, it was a different place. It's, um, you know, these beings were too bright to look at and they were pulling me towards a table and Sam's like, a probing table. Dean is pissed about that. Um, but apparently while they were pulling him, Dean went fucking crazy and started slashing and shooting at them. And he said he got the impression that no one's ever done that before. I sent him back. He said close encounter, I won it.

Bitch:

And now like I fought the lot I won, but I had a close encounter, I won. And then Sam tells Dean that he should take a shower, but I'm like really shouldn't Sam?

Jerk:

Shouldn't Sam take a shower? He's the one that smells

Bitch:

Sam

Jerk:

like patchouli.

Bitch:

seems grosser than Dean right now. They give all the people covered and gone come worried about. You'd see you Sam. I'm gonna go get my hair done. I'm gonna get my hair done. I'm gonna get my hair done. I'm gonna get my hair done.

Jerk:

Right. So now it's the next morning. They're drinking coffee at the, um, that Jack's beer garden. It's definitely a bar. There's a pool table, but they're sitting there drinking coffee. It was very weird.

Bitch:

It's a small town. Maybe it's just

Jerk:

I guess.

Bitch:

ce I go to in my town like in:

Jerk:

Yeah, so, but it was just odd. So we've got, Dean's just freaked out though, cause he's like, look angels and aliens are both real. What's next? Hobbits. And we get Sam just being a creeper to the waitress. But Dean's like really mad about this, about Sam just being totally disconnected from everything. He's like, what am I supposed to do? You know, you were abducted, I had no leads. What am I doing? Just sitting in the dark. And then Sam's like, yeah, Dean's like, yeah, you should feel the love. You should sit in the dark and not have sex.

Bitch:

But Sam wants to know is like, can I do all that and have sex with a hippie chick?

Jerk:

Ah!

Bitch:

And I just, you know, it's such a dude thing to say, but it also like you feel, oh, you're so unfortunately unavailable.

Jerk:

And then.

Bitch:

I love you. You're hot. So

Jerk:

And then it comes around to so having a soul equal suffering and suffering is a good thing, Sam has to ask Dean. And so, Sam has to ask Dean. And so, Sam has to ask Dean. And so, Sam has to ask Dean. And so, Sam has to ask Dean. And so, Sam has to ask Dean. And so, Sam has to ask Dean. And so, Sam has to ask Dean. And so, Sam has to ask Dean. And so, Sam has to ask Dean. And so, Sam has to ask Dean. And so, Sam has to ask Dean. And so, Sam has to ask Dean.

Bitch:

Yeah, yeah, having a soul is bullshit, man. Alright, so I'll leave now, like, Dean wants to go do research.

Jerk:

Yeah, on UFO lore. But he sees some dude staring at him through the window. And some looks like might be a homeless gentleman, possibly with a beanie. It's really weird

Bitch:

or

Jerk:

with

Bitch:

a

Jerk:

his

Bitch:

sailor?

Jerk:

hot pink beanie. It's very odd, the whole thing. It's very challenging.

Bitch:

Like,

Jerk:

It's very challenging.

Bitch:

he looks

Jerk:

It's

Bitch:

like

Jerk:

very challenging. It's very challenging. It's

Bitch:

somebody

Jerk:

very challenging. It's

Bitch:

who

Jerk:

very

Bitch:

lives

Jerk:

challenging.

Bitch:

in Seattle.

Jerk:

It's very challenging.

Bitch:

Like,

Jerk:

It's

Bitch:

definitely,

Jerk:

very challenging. It's very

Bitch:

like

Jerk:

challenging.

Bitch:

he's

Jerk:

It's very

Bitch:

escaped

Jerk:

challenging.

Bitch:

from the Pacific Northwest to Indiana. We know that at least.

Jerk:

Uh, yeah. So I think, um, we've got, you know, um, Sam's like just perplexed that he cannot see this at all, but also doesn't really care.

Bitch:

He doesn't really care, but I think we also start with this as a point where Dean's just like, are you fucking with me? And, but that's also the problem with Solbless Sam, right? Cause he's like so like not emotionally available, but it's at the point where like, I would be fucking with you, you know? So you're just like, wait, can you really not see anybody? Like, are you just, are you just

Jerk:

Yeah.

Bitch:

busting my balls? Or can you

Jerk:

Right.

Bitch:

not? And he's just like, I don't know. And like, so he's like, am I being gaslit? I don't know what's happening.

Jerk:

Yeah, it's a lot. So we cut to Sam walking out of the library and he's like everyone in the planet believes in UFOs and won't stop writing books about it. Well, Dean is scrolling through blogs about UFOs at the motel, which sounds terrible, by the way. And we've got David Bowie's Space Audity starts playing in the motel room. In the motel lights start to flicker. And there's a bright light outside the window and the door flies open and an orb flies in what? so orbs in a lot of people that are like into phenomenon are typically more associated

Bitch:

Wut wut wut

Jerk:

with

Bitch:

wut wut

Jerk:

Ghosty stuff as opposed to other lore, but that's okay in this case It's not it's very tinkerbell very tinkerbell and so we have this orb fly in the room and Deans like trying to look at it and the orb stops him and then the orb hits him in the face, it bops him in the face. And then they have a fight. He's fighting the orb. It's very weird. Then, but Dean is able to trap it in the microwave. The

Bitch:

before he traps it in the microwave. He stops and he says, nipples.

Jerk:

He does.

Bitch:

And then he says, bitch. And then he traps her in the microwave.

Jerk:

and turns it on.

Bitch:

And as, okay, come at me, Pita, but I once microwaved a scorpion because like, you know, this house was not a great house to grow up in, but there's also a lot of scorpions here. And after you kill a bunch of them, sometimes you just,

Jerk:

eventful.

Bitch:

you throw them in a microwave. They did not do this. They just died. But this is pretty explosive.

Jerk:

It explodes the whole inside of the microwave. And yeah, Dean is very proud of himself. He gives a little ha ha, and then you hear the microwave

Bitch:

Ding!

Jerk:

ding. Oh, so Sam's back and Dean's trying to show him all this fun stuff in the microwave. And Sam doesn't see a thing. It just looks like a clean microwave to him, which would be very upsetting because the inside of a microwave being gross is really like annoying, but I really hate cleaning out the inside of my microwave. But like wouldn't that be weird if you couldn't tell if your microwave was anyways

Bitch:

No, no, that's good. Don't send me to that place. Don't send me to that place where I'm just like sitting on the floor rocking, going the microwave is never clean, the microwave is never clean. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Jerk:

like

Bitch:

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Jerk:

anyways

Bitch:

Yeah. Yeah.

Jerk:

so um he's dean sees splattered orb guts and

Bitch:

The

Jerk:

uh tries

Bitch:

black,

Jerk:

to

Bitch:

the black. I like

Jerk:

the

Bitch:

that

Jerk:

blech

Bitch:

it's subscribed, it's the black.

Jerk:

the blech and he's trying to explain that it was a little naked lady glowing and hot with nipples and she

Bitch:

glowing

Jerk:

hit me

Bitch:

hot naked lady with nipples.

Jerk:

hit me. And Sam's response is I'm not supposed to laugh, right?

Bitch:

But also, Sam, I'm here for you, because I also like, one, I would laugh in awkward situations, but we're not, but no, Sam, you're not. But he's also like, what? She had wings. And so, I'm here for you. I'm here for you. I'm here for you. I'm here for you. I'm here for you. I'm here for you. I'm here for you. I'm here for you. I'm here for you. I'm here for you. I'm here for you. I'm here for you. I'm here for you. I'm here for you. I'm here for you. I'm here for you. I'm here for you. I'm here for you. I'm here for you. I'm here for you

Jerk:

Yeah. So they figured out that maybe the counters weren't extraterrestrials. Maybe they were ultra-terrestrials. Fairies! And that lady from the beginning of the episode was right.

Bitch:

what crazy crystal lady was yammering about. But you know, they are not the first to make this connection. So now we're gonna hear my theory, my hypothesis, my thing that I stole from the internet that says, are fairies and aliens the same thing?

Jerk:

Are we calling this lore?

Bitch:

Sure.

Jerk:

That's all right.

Bitch:

So this is Liz's and other the internet's hypothesis. So aliens and UFOs are the same. So why are they the same? Okay, one, they can both drive you crazy. For example, in fairy lore, the Leonon she, that first, I'm sorry people in Ireland, Leonon, but the she, right? Which is, if you look

Jerk:

Yeah.

Bitch:

at the word she, like this is how I know my fairy shape. So that's S-I-D-H-E, like so, but that's actually pronounced she like you know like You know look like a female, but that's how it's felt. So anyways aka She's also called the fairy lover and she comes to men as a muse but then she drives the artist mad with their need for her and WB8 described the spirit as almost vampiric and

Jerk:

Oh.

Bitch:

just absorb the life force so crazy and so do aliens, right? Because you know, just go tell people about the fact that aliens have done to you. Just go try it. See what happens. All

Jerk:

Yeah.

Bitch:

right, second, they are little people, right? They're both little, I mean,

Jerk:

Yeah.

Bitch:

et Commonwealth of Fairies in:

Jerk:

Yeah.

Bitch:

And also, in addition to being small in Aberdeenshire, Scotland, they were talking about hobgoblins, which are also fairies. And they were said to have like no separate toes or fingers, and they had a hole instead of a nose, which I'm pretty sure like that sounds like an alien, right? That sounds like

Jerk:

Yeah.

Bitch:

gray, right? Totally. And

Jerk:

Yeah.

Bitch:

he conversely, like for co in:

Jerk:

Yeah.

Bitch:

Also in France in:

Jerk:

Quite the flap quite the flap

Bitch:

It was quite the flap. Oh, the flap.

Jerk:

Oh ho ho, the flap!

Bitch:

And they call them the dwarves or other words that in French sound way worse than they do in English Like so we're just not gonna talk about what they call little people in France. All right So third reason time slips. All right, so we're you saw this like in this episode, right? We're saying I'm not very excited that Dean was having a time slip Well, the same thing happens like in fairy lore, right? So if you go to the fairy land like you think it's a couple of hours, but really has been like years

Jerk:

year. Yeah.

Bitch:

and If you saw that season of true blood know what I'm talking about or just in general fairy lore but also that's season of true blood. All right number four crop circles and dirt maps. So in Ireland like the remains of stone circles other prehistoric dwellings are known as the fairy hills or fairy forts.

Jerk:

Wooo! Parry Fort. I like it. It

Bitch:

Sounds

Jerk:

does.

Bitch:

a lot of fairy farts. It does, it does, right? So, but the

Jerk:

I like

Bitch:

she,

Jerk:

it.

Bitch:

the people, like the she actually means like fairy bound, right?

Jerk:

Uh oh.

Bitch:

I'm choking on my own spit.

Jerk:

do that.

Bitch:

Ah, okay.

Jerk:

Thank you. Bye.

Bitch:

All right, so another reason that they're the same. Crop circles, dirt mounts. So in Ireland, if you see like anything that like you think of like Stonehenge, like so, there's a lot of stone circles like everywhere all over Great Britain, they're everywhere seriously, they're all really cool. But in Ireland, they're known as Fairy Hills or Fairy Forts.

Jerk:

Very fort.

Bitch:

ery famous Samora incident in:

Jerk:

Right.

Bitch:

you're in like you

Jerk:

Circle

Bitch:

see

Jerk:

of

Bitch:

like

Jerk:

mushrooms.

Bitch:

the circle of mushrooms, that's where the fairies are.

Jerk:

fairy circle.

Bitch:

Yeah,

Jerk:

Yeah, that's

Bitch:

so

Jerk:

what

Bitch:

also

Jerk:

that means.

Bitch:

right? In, but with aliens in:

Jerk:

So,

Bitch:

lights is what I said.

Jerk:

bye lights.

Bitch:

So those were like flying over and they were in like a horizontal arc and then there was a bunch of parallel lines. There was a pilot that said, long and a half a mile wide

Jerk:

That's

Bitch:

and they

Jerk:

crazy.

Bitch:

were traveling like around 3,000 miles per hour without making a sound. Like there was no sound there was just like these crazy lights over Stephen Thulls.

Jerk:

That's crazy.

Bitch:

Yeah.

Jerk:

It's also kind of like Marfa. It's like Marfa.

Bitch:

It is pretty a lot. There's, I mean, there's a lot of weird shit that flies over Texas, just saying, well

Jerk:

Yeah.

Bitch:

over the world in general. And so,

Jerk:

Right.

Bitch:

yeah, and this goes to my final point about why one, aliens are real, and two, that they're fairies. Both of them like to abduct people. Hello, like,

Jerk:

That's true.

Bitch:

you know,

Jerk:

A lot

Bitch:

we

Jerk:

of

Bitch:

know

Jerk:

fairy lords about abducting babies or

Bitch:

about

Jerk:

baby swapping

Bitch:

like change

Jerk:

and

Bitch:

things.

Jerk:

all the

Bitch:

We

Jerk:

things.

Bitch:

did

Jerk:

Yeah.

Bitch:

a whole thing on the show about change things. Like, yeah, we've already talked about that. And

Jerk:

I'm reading another book where there's changelings in it.

Bitch:

then like,

Jerk:

I'm reading a C-book series right now, which has nothing to do with any of this, and there's changelings in it. I'm reading another book where there's changelings in it. I'm reading a C-book series right now, which has nothing to do with any of this, and there's changelings in it. I'm reading another book where there's changelings in it. I'm reading a C-book series right now, which has nothing to do with any of this, and there's changelings in it. I'm reading another book where there's changelings in it. I'm reading a C-book series right now, which has nothing to do with any of this, and there's changelings in it.

Bitch:

Yeah. And so like aliens, like come on, how many abduction stories? Like there's a their probing table is the thing we all understand. Like we shouldn't be able to understand what a probing table is. But we all know, we say aliens, what do you think of you think of probing? That's what you think of. I know. I want to say like, you may think of like, Oh, no, thank you robot, you know, alien overlords. That's also true.

Jerk:

Tchau.

Bitch:

Thank you, my alien overlords who worship you and the robot. Like whatever my overlords are today was fine. You know, we're flexible.

Jerk:

Right.

Bitch:

But so anyway, in conclusion, aliens are fairies, fairies, fairies are aliens. It's effective. And, all right, well,

Jerk:

I like

Bitch:

there's

Jerk:

it.

Bitch:

one more thing on this lore, though, because we're going to go, we're going to cut like, really, this is like the second half of this lore bit, because we're cutting from Dean and Sam in their motel room with the black to

Jerk:

Oh yeah,

Bitch:

Marion.

Jerk:

to Marion, who's the older woman from the beginning who said it was fairies from the start and they

Bitch:

And

Jerk:

made

Bitch:

she

Jerk:

fun

Bitch:

did

Jerk:

of.

Bitch:

and she lists some names. So she says there's fairies, there's sprites, and spriggins, there's bogarts, and brownies. The little people have many names. So other names she could have said. All right. She could have said hobgoblin, hobgoblin, my God. All right, we're gonna do this again. Other names she could have said hobgoblins, red cap, so known because he likes to dip his hat Errol

Jerk:

Thank you.

Bitch:

King,

Jerk:

Bye.

Bitch:

who is the elf king, Da, the Deir Djuig, who is basically a fairy vampire, the queer honnok, who is the mother of demons and Saint Patrick's enemy, there is the banshee, the bean nagi, which is a washerwoman laundress type of banshee. There is the kelpies and the nokolavi, a cousin to the kelpies, the nokolavi seems to be, they just like, I missed like that cut and paste, but I know they're a horrible horse like thing that has a lot of things. Okay there's also the Dullohan, which is a Irish demonic fairy, which is basically a headless horseman with the whip made of a human spine What what? and the whole reason that I wanted to say this list because the other fairy that she could have not said could she could have said the leg jack. So the f**king pig leg jack,

Jerk:

Fuckin' pig leg

Bitch:

the

Jerk:

jack.

Bitch:

f**king pig leg jack, F-A-C-H-A-N. Otherwise known as pig leg jack is a terrifying fairy with one leg, one eye, one arm sprouting from its chest, and a mane of black feathers. And it's so scary that if you see it you have a heart attack. But also it's this name is f**king. And if you haven't...

Jerk:

Yeah, I would be upset if I saw that.

Bitch:

Yeah. And if you haven't figured out most of the lot, okay, fairies are from all over there are fairies and like depending on

Jerk:

Almost

Bitch:

the New

Jerk:

every

Bitch:

dup,

Jerk:

lawyer,

Bitch:

or

Jerk:

yeah.

Bitch:

was every culture everything but majority things we talk about do come from our you know Celtic lore so lots of Ireland lots of Scotland

Jerk:

Thank you. Thank you.

Bitch:

Wales etc, but also can you imagine anyone with any sort of gale ag accent saying fucking? The faking pig like Jack like he just oh so good faking the faking the faking like the Ficken, ficken, look at all of it, so good. No matter like, you can go well,

Jerk:

Oh

Bitch:

she can go Scottish. Ficken. So, Marianne, she

Jerk:

Oh.

Bitch:

lost. Okay, so we're gonna

Jerk:

All right.

Bitch:

cut to this house and Dean who is now scared of statues.

Jerk:

Yeah, as she's talking about all the magical mischievous beings from the realm next door. And basically

Bitch:

Woohoo!

Jerk:

she's saying that it's like another reality and only those who went there in return can see anything from the fairy world here. Oh. And he's like, but why are they abducting people? She's like, well, I don't really have any proof, but they only take firstborn sons, kind of like Rumpelstiltskin. And I think they're taken over on the king of the fairies.

Bitch:

in avalanche. So she's also dropping like mad fairy names here.

Jerk:

Yeah.

Bitch:

And so I'm like, are you trying to establish some creds or something? Like,

Jerk:

Yeah.

Bitch:

I think Mary and they dig you live, they kind of know you're here. Like you don't need to name drop like this.

Jerk:

But this opens the door for Sam to ask Dean if he serviced Oberon.

Bitch:

He doesn't answer, I don't know.

Jerk:

He doesn't. Well, I mean, I think he gave us a pretty good account that he was fighting the whole time. So anyways, so he is like, well, how do you, how if I want to interact forcefully again with fairies? How would I do that? Basically, he wants to know how to trap fairies.

Bitch:

Yeah, yeah, and she's like, you know, well, you know, they love cream and I'm like shit am I a fairy? I

Jerk:

I

Bitch:

love

Jerk:

like

Bitch:

cream

Jerk:

cream too. So I put out a bowl of fresh cream and they hate iron and darkferries burn when they touch silver. But if you spill sugar or salt, they have to stop everything they're doing and count every single grain. That sounds like the worst attribute you could possibly have. I'm not sure if you can see this, but I'm not sure if you can see this. I'm not sure if you can see this. I'm not sure if you can see this. I'm not sure if you can see this.

Bitch:

But I also wanted to know, does this work with Stevia or Equal? Like is it like,

Jerk:

I don't think so. I bet it has to be a pure mineral.

Bitch:

would Mrs. Dash work? You know, like, oh, so you're like, it's like half city, like a mineral base, but like,

Jerk:

Yeah,

Bitch:

what if

Jerk:

I mean my

Bitch:

like

Jerk:

truffle

Bitch:

Mrs. Dash

Jerk:

salt would

Bitch:

has...

Jerk:

work because it's still salt, but Mrs. Dash has salt in it. They would probably count the salt grains in the Mrs. Dash.

Bitch:

But, so, but a stevia would be no go. So like,

Jerk:

Yeah.

Bitch:

equal, like they can just like walk on by or sweet and log, just like whatever.

Jerk:

What about powdered sugar?

Bitch:

What about cocaine?

Jerk:

Math. Um...

Bitch:

Well, I mean, there's definitely a crystal. Hey,

Jerk:

Right?

Bitch:

so like that fairy is doing nothing but counting. Like the left crystal's integrated again.

Jerk:

Oh my god.

Bitch:

Oh, my God. This is, okay, Netflix pay

Jerk:

meth fairy,

Bitch:

us. All

Jerk:

meth fairies, meth fairies.

Bitch:

right. That's fairies.

Jerk:

Oh my

Bitch:

Okay.

Jerk:

God. All right. So anyway,

Bitch:

Ugh.

Jerk:

so they're like, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. Y'all finish your tea out of your tiny cups, and then they're going to go figure it out. But Dean is just creeped out by this whole thing. He feels like he has the crazy on him. But Dean's like, Sam's like, no, you just sat in some glitter.

Bitch:

That's never coming off. This leg literally will be on your pants forever. But then!

Jerk:

Dean would rather believe in UFOs.

Bitch:

You did. You do teens coverin' in glitter anyways. You spend way too many strip clubs.

Jerk:

So Dean would rather believe in UFOs, but then they see Mr. Brennan loading crates of cream into his car. Oh, that's a little sauce after what they just learned.

Bitch:

A little

Jerk:

Hmm.

Bitch:

bit, a little bit, or he just also, like me, loves cream.

Jerk:

That's a lot of cream. So they

Bitch:

this.

Jerk:

follow him to his shop and they watch him load the cream in. So then they go break into the store like you do. So Dean's sneaking around the back with a knife and he hears a noise and sees a little man. And by little man, I do not mean a little person. I mean a like a

Bitch:

You're a tiny man.

Jerk:

like a tiny man, like under like a foot tall. I don't know. Like a little tiny person. a non regular human person

Bitch:

An

Jerk:

working

Bitch:

alien.

Jerk:

on a watch working on a watch. And there's a butt, he's looking around and there's a bunch of them. There's like four or five of them, all working, four of them I think total, working on watches and drinking cream. The end.

Bitch:

they all have clothes on.

Jerk:

And he sneaks

Bitch:

I

Jerk:

out

Bitch:

don't see their nipples. Like, why did

Jerk:

No,

Bitch:

the chicken

Jerk:

there's

Bitch:

have

Jerk:

no,

Bitch:

nipples

Jerk:

no, there

Bitch:

out?

Jerk:

is

Bitch:

What the

Jerk:

no,

Bitch:

fuck?

Jerk:

no little,

Bitch:

There's

Jerk:

little,

Bitch:

no male

Jerk:

little

Bitch:

nipple.

Jerk:

male critters. Yeah. And so Dean goes outside

Bitch:

There's

Jerk:

and calls

Bitch:

no mipples.

Jerk:

Sam, guess where Sam is? Sam's at the bar, following Mr. Brennan around. And

Bitch:

That's

Jerk:

he,

Bitch:

what Dean told

Jerk:

uh,

Bitch:

him to do.

Jerk:

which is what he told him to do, but still, but he's drinking again. Um, and so now they're like, huh, I wonder if Mr. Brennan made a deal with the fairies. So Sam's like, fuck it. I'm going to find out. So he just goes straight up to him. It's like, yeah, um, goes straight to, you know, talking about, you know, tries to flatter by him at first about watches and then goes on to like, yeah, like, like the ones a bunch of elves made for him. So he calls him out right away for having elves make the watches for him. Oh.

Bitch:

You know, sort of like, did you make slaves that had a bunch of little tiny men from another realm? Did you

Jerk:

to

Bitch:

decide

Jerk:

make watches.

Bitch:

to go all colonizer on us? And

Jerk:

But

Bitch:

he's

Jerk:

Mr.

Bitch:

just like...

Jerk:

Brennan's pretty freaked out. So Sam goes in for the jugular and says, yeah, how does a father trade his son for a bunch of watches?

Bitch:

No!

Jerk:

shhhhhhh but he gets what he needs because mr. bernie goes it wasn't like that which means it was it was like that

Bitch:

There was,

Jerk:

shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Bitch:

and sometimes it's just better if you just fucking ask. Like stop beating around the bush, just be like, did you make a bunch of elf slaves? You know

Jerk:

So

Bitch:

if that's

Jerk:

we cut

Bitch:

not

Jerk:

to

Bitch:

cool,

Jerk:

Dean

Bitch:

Mr. Brennan.

Jerk:

walking down the street and he sees the guy that he saw watching him from the window earlier, the guy from Seattle was watching him earlier, is watching him again from across street and starts mirroring him as he walks and then following him, which is creepy. And then he goes back to the car. And he's like, oh, I'm gonna go back to the car. And he's like, oh, I'm gonna go back to the car. And he's like, oh, I'm gonna go back to the car.

Bitch:

That's obnoxious. Yeah, that's just gross.

Jerk:

Yeah.

Bitch:

Awesome. Just like a lot of the people in Seattle. So

Jerk:

Yeah. So Sam is finally getting Mr. Brandon to like explain what the fuck happened. And he's like, look, I've got a lot of pressure to, you know, this shop has been in my family for generations. It supports the family and it wasn't doing very well. So my grandmother had always told me that Ferries were real and she had a book that told me how to call them. So I did the ceremony two months ago. This met the slap recon and he's like, you know, he was gonna help me cure my hand because I have Parkinson's I was having trouble and my hand hurts. So I

Bitch:

couldn't

Jerk:

just really

Bitch:

fap

Jerk:

wanted my

Bitch:

anymore.

Jerk:

hand cured. And he wants his hand cured, but instead the Celebricon's like, no, no, I'll just promise to make you more successful than you were before. Anyways, don't worry about it. I'll bring a crew. We just need a place

Bitch:

Never take the episode.

Jerk:

and that's it.

Bitch:

Yeah, you had an ask and then he was like, do you want it up so and you're like, yeah,

Jerk:

And he's like,

Bitch:

I think this

Jerk:

no,

Bitch:

sounds

Jerk:

yeah.

Bitch:

better. Like, no, there's

Jerk:

No.

Bitch:

always going to be some deal. You're getting blocked

Jerk:

Correct.

Bitch:

into a timeshare here, man. And

Jerk:

And

Bitch:

you

Jerk:

he

Bitch:

should

Jerk:

didn't

Bitch:

just

Jerk:

realize

Bitch:

know better.

Jerk:

that the trade off was the first, his firstborn son and all the

Bitch:

because

Jerk:

firstborn

Bitch:

that's the fat

Jerk:

sons.

Bitch:

of the land. I mean, I guess you

Jerk:

Yeah.

Bitch:

are in America. So the fat of the land would be your first born son. And for once, like I feel like as a woman, I'm getting the better end of this deal and I don't feel that bad. So we're safe, right? I mean, like they're just taking the dudes. And I'm not saying that I'm not. I'm just saying that I'm not. I'm just saying that I'm not. I'm just saying

Jerk:

So

Bitch:

that I'm not. I'm just

Jerk:

yeah,

Bitch:

saying that I'm not. I'm just saying that I'm not.

Jerk:

yeah, so, but he realizes it's not just his son, it's others too, and it's just not gonna stop. So they need to do the reverse spell. But the

Bitch:

I

Jerk:

book

Bitch:

guess fine.

Jerk:

is in the safe in the shop and the elves won't let him near the safe. So anyways,

Bitch:

Oops

Jerk:

so our weird dude from Seattle is still following Dean down the street and through an alley and Dean tries to do a sneak attack on him because Dean thinks he's slick. But instead he does attack, person when they come out of the corner. And this is a little person.

Bitch:

an actual little, little person.

Jerk:

Yes, who is a man and is trying to grapple with this man that he believes was the guy following him. It's not calling him a fairy because he believed that guy, the Seattle dude, was a fairy and a crowd for him. And it's definitely not who he thought it was. It is a man whose daughter is calling out to daddy as, uh, yeah. Yeah,

Bitch:

As

Jerk:

talk

Bitch:

Dean

Jerk:

good.

Bitch:

hits him, he's all yelling, what do you want, fairy?

Jerk:

Yeah. And so as he gets up and realizes he has the wrong guy, he tries to make a joke about it. But yeah. So, uh, we have Sam trying to call Dean because they're going to help Mr. Brennan get the book to reverse the spell. But they walk up on Dean getting arrested. And Dean just calls out, fight the fairies.

Bitch:

And when this episode aired, this actually did trend on Twitter

Jerk:

Fight

Bitch:

and

Jerk:

the fairies.

Bitch:

Fight the Fairies became a trending topic and similar to when Lucifer is coming, some people did believe this was a homophobic slur. Oh

Jerk:

Oh

Bitch:

Oh, Twitter, you're the best.

Jerk:

Yes,

Bitch:

Eh, I

Jerk:

so

Bitch:

believe

Jerk:

gross.

Bitch:

it was, you never mind. All right,

Jerk:

So

Bitch:

so.

Jerk:

at J so at the jail, we've got our cop try to talk to Dean. trying to figure out what kind of hate crime he committed.

Bitch:

And technically that's not your job, you're the sheriff,

Jerk:

correct

Bitch:

you're not

Jerk:

that

Bitch:

the

Jerk:

would

Bitch:

DA.

Jerk:

be a video.

Bitch:

But apparently the DA was the person

Jerk:

is the guy.

Bitch:

that team was hitting. Oops!

Jerk:

Yeah. Yeah. So they leave him in the cell and walk away. So Sam and Mr. Brennan have are now sneaking into the watch office. And apparently we learn now that not only do fairies love cream, but it gets them real drunk.

Bitch:

Oh, that's a good thing to know.

Jerk:

Yeah, they're all drunker passed out all over the place. And so they sneak to the safe and they open it, they grab the book and Mr. Brennan starts reading the spell which while Sam stands by with a shotgun. But remember, but it's just... And so Mr. Brennan starts reading the

Bitch:

And,

Jerk:

spell, which while Sam stands

Bitch:

yeah,

Jerk:

by with

Bitch:

and this

Jerk:

a shotgun,

Bitch:

spell

Jerk:

but remember,

Bitch:

is in Gaelic, which so at this point is actually not that surprising if you're thinking about, oh, like Brennan, the son of the same Patrick,

Jerk:

Yeah.

Bitch:

his

Jerk:

Yeah.

Bitch:

grandmother had a spirit to, you know, had a spell to capture leprechauns. Oh, Gaelic, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Jerk:

So we've got then something stabs Mr. Brennan in the chest

Bitch:

Mmm. Pwaaah. Let's

Jerk:

from

Bitch:

start

Jerk:

behind.

Bitch:

running. You shouldn't enslave elves. That's kind of what you get. Okay. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go.

Jerk:

I don't feel like he enslaved them.

Bitch:

I mean like someone's like would you I don't know he bought the time share don't suffer the time share So maybe he shouldn't

Jerk:

So

Bitch:

have

Jerk:

Mr. Brennan's dead and it was Wayne, the UFO dude is actually a leprechaun. What? The Sam can see him and Wayne kind of apologizes because he's like, yeah, he also went back on our deal. So and Sam's like, yeah, you're not clear on the terms. So how you can't really be mad at him for going back on the deal. And Wayne's defensive like, oh, I told him there was a price. And like, Sam's like, yeah. borns and then the you know she but he also compliments him on the UFO crap for a cover um so he's like uh yeah by the way your brother is marked in it and he's ours now and the only way you can see me is

Bitch:

I don't really understand what this marked thing is.

Jerk:

because he got abducted

Bitch:

Like, I know, but it's dumb.

Jerk:

because he got abducted

Bitch:

It's like, it's really, it doesn't make a lot of sense. Like...

Jerk:

No,

Bitch:

..

Jerk:

it's kind of forced. And Sam can only see Wayne because Wayne lets him see him,

Bitch:

Yeah.

Jerk:

not like the rest of them. So, anyway, so he's just talking about basically like they want to, you know, he can get Sam's soul back. And does he want to make a deal with him? Because, you know,

Bitch:

This

Jerk:

you're missing,

Bitch:

is so...

Jerk:

I can tell you're missing your soul, but very, very folk are about, you know, we can tell the energy, you know, and that, It's just

Bitch:

It's

Jerk:

very

Bitch:

so,

Jerk:

odd.

Bitch:

it's so rando. I mean, this

Jerk:

Yeah.

Bitch:

is the same as the end, but it's just like, he's like, well, I'm not part of your mythology, right? I'm

Jerk:

Yeah,

Bitch:

not

Jerk:

it's

Bitch:

part

Jerk:

your

Bitch:

of your

Jerk:

devil,

Bitch:

Judeo-Christian.

Jerk:

not mine.

Bitch:

So I can go to hell and give, but how do you go there if you're not part? So

Jerk:

Because

Bitch:

why is this,

Jerk:

it wouldn't

Bitch:

this

Jerk:

exist

Bitch:

exists?

Jerk:

to you then, right?

Bitch:

I don't, okay. I'm

Jerk:

Yeah, it's

Bitch:

gonna

Jerk:

very

Bitch:

clap

Jerk:

weird.

Bitch:

if I believe, clap if I believe. Okay, so Sam's just like, you can go to hell.

Jerk:

Mm-mm. No. And he's like, and so, and Sam does make a crack tip about being my blue fairy to make me a real boy. It's pretty funny. We get that.

Bitch:

We do

Jerk:

That

Bitch:

have

Jerk:

was a good

Bitch:

a ton,

Jerk:

callback.

Bitch:

but yeah, tons

Jerk:

That was

Bitch:

of Pinocchio

Jerk:

a great callback

Bitch:

references.

Jerk:

for

Bitch:

Yep.

Jerk:

so it was good. And Wayne replies with, when you wish upon a star. I appreciate it. But Sam replies finally. He's like, yeah, I got a wish. He shoots Wayne with a shotgun.

Bitch:

Thank you. Bye.

Jerk:

Wayne's hurt, but he's not dead. Unfortunately, he disappears as Sam shoots again. And as this is happening at the jail, Seattle dude shows up in Dean's cell and they start fighting. We get a lot of back and forth. We got Dean and Seattle fighting in this jail cell while Sam is fighting with Wayne. And Wayne beats the shit out of Sam with his

Bitch:

He

Jerk:

stick

Bitch:

really

Jerk:

that he's

Bitch:

does.

Jerk:

carrying.

Bitch:

He's just like bam bam and I just like, I kinda like, I kinda like Wayne. Like, I appreciate like, and you know, there's been

Jerk:

Ugh.

Bitch:

a couple of other like, I think in Charm is too, just like with lever cones or just like beat the shit out of people with their sticks.

Jerk:

That's

Bitch:

And

Jerk:

weird.

Bitch:

I'm just like, okay, maybe I appreciate that because they're my people. I don't know, but

Jerk:

Mmm

Bitch:

I appreciate a good Shalely. This was called

Jerk:

Well,

Bitch:

right? Shalely?

Jerk:

I think so. That sounds right. And then Sam is like kind of fucked, but and Wayne

Bitch:

Me serei a faca!

Jerk:

calls him out for it, fact, and Wayne calls him out, but then Sam's like, why didn't I do this sooner? And pours salt all over the floor. And while Wayne is distracted, counting the grains of salt, he can, Sam can read the spell.

Bitch:

And so the translation is basically, at least this is according to the Supernatural Wiki, whether or not this is actually the translation of the Scottish Gaelic. Fuck, fine now. Fuck, fine now. All right, so let go of that binding and blow out that light and banish the fairies back to their birthplace. Keep the unborn children safe and keep this terrible gate shut.

Jerk:

Huh.

Bitch:

So there's

Jerk:

Okay.

Bitch:

probably Gaelic people. Anyway, so and the fairy that was about to stop Dean's face disappears

Jerk:

get zapped away and Wayne gets zapped away and all the others get zapped away.

Bitch:

Just poof, for the guy.

Jerk:

And so we find our our Winchester brothers parked on a country road, a single lane country road. They stopped the car in the middle of it because that's what you

Bitch:

Fuck

Jerk:

do.

Bitch:

you! Why are you just getting in my way, motherfucker? Like, it's

Jerk:

So

Bitch:

bad enough

Jerk:

annoying.

Bitch:

I'm gonna have to like, get out of the way for like cows.

Jerk:

Ugh.

Bitch:

Now I have to wait for you, motherfuckers.

Jerk:

So annoying. So annoying. It's the middle of the day and Sam turns down a beer, which is weird. So, um, Dean toasts to the, um, the DA dropping charges against him. And Dean asks Sam about what, what Wayne offered to get the soul. Um, and Sam's like, you know, no, whatever deal wouldn't have been good. No matter what, even I know that. And a deal is bad, there

Bitch:

It's

Jerk:

wouldn't

Bitch:

a deal.

Jerk:

have been a good

Bitch:

A

Jerk:

deal.

Bitch:

deal's

Jerk:

And so Dean's

Bitch:

a deal,

Jerk:

just trying to

Bitch:

man.

Jerk:

figure it out though, because he's afraid that Sam's having second thoughts about going to get his soul. And so, Dean's just trying to figure it out though, because he's afraid that Sam's having second thoughts about going to get his soul. And so, Dean's just trying to figure it out though, because he's afraid that Sam's having second thoughts about going to get his soul.

Bitch:

And I love that when he asks him, he's just like, are you having second thoughts? And pretty much just like, no, of course not. Look over there.

Jerk:

Yeah, he definitely is. He's

Bitch:

What? What?

Jerk:

definitely having second thoughts. So there's our episode.

Bitch:

Yeah, so I think we have much, we can digest that, but first, do people need to go into a casting couch?

Jerk:

They

Bitch:

Ah! Ah!

Jerk:

e was Eddie in the Howling in:

Bitch:

Fuck.

Jerk:

but reoccurring characters of Coach Cutlip in The Wonder Years, Dr. Lewis Zimmerman in Star Trek Voyager

Bitch:

Hey,

Jerk:

and Richard...

Bitch:

hey, hey, hey, you froze.

Jerk:

Oh no, when?

Bitch:

I

Jerk:

Really?

Bitch:

don't know if this is really long.

Jerk:

It is really long, son of a bitch.

Bitch:

uh

Jerk:

Let me start over.

Bitch:

Yeah, it

Jerk:

I'll

Bitch:

would

Jerk:

just

Bitch:

be too

Jerk:

do

Bitch:

hard

Jerk:

him

Bitch:

to

Jerk:

all

Bitch:

cut.

Jerk:

over again.

Bitch:

Yeah.

Jerk:

e was Eddie in the Howling in:

Bitch:

Hit

Jerk:

been

Bitch:

me,

Jerk:

in.

Bitch:

huh?

Jerk:

So Star Killer in the Explorers, Meg in Legend, George Yeo in Rodney Dangerfield's Back to School, Evil, a garbage man in The Burbs, the voice of Johnny Cab in Total Recall, the original version, Howard, the theater manager in Matt and a Ben Wheeler in Wagons East with John Candy, Admiral Calvin in Mega Shark versus Crocosaurus, Dr. Robert Stadler in Atlas Strug Atlas, shrug two and Rabbi in Hail Caesar, plus a gazillion episodes of television single episodes. Recurring regular roles were coach Cutlip in the wonder years Dr. Lewis Zimmerman in Star Trek Voyager, which carried over some of their Star Trek stuff too and Richard Woolsey in Stargate SG1 Pretty awesome.

Bitch:

Yeah,

Jerk:

It's a lot

Bitch:

that's a pretty big role.

Jerk:

and that's

Bitch:

I

Jerk:

a

Bitch:

mean,

Jerk:

pared down list. I'm just saying

Bitch:

yeah.

Jerk:

hooter, the Wahlberg movie in:

Bitch:

Is that a lot? Is that

Jerk:

It was

Bitch:

much?

Jerk:

a lot, a lot, a lot. So yeah, I would go back to talk about this episode, not a bummer, super into it, super fucking fun. Couple

Bitch:

Duh!

Jerk:

little flubs of like, I can't say suspension of belief because this series is that, but okay, can we at least get our stories to line up a little bit, like the consistency, like you were talking about, that doesn't really make sense, like all of a sudden the leprechaun can go to hell, I don't know.

Bitch:

I mean there are

Jerk:

But...

Bitch:

some things I think I feel like and I'm so naked without my books and hopefully I will get to go I will say that also like I did get to have some fun times to see it because my weirdness does a lot come from my mom and

Jerk:

Mm-hmm

Bitch:

So at least my interest in things that even though she was she's raised a very good Catholic woman She does have some you know, there's some some side interests. So I went. Hey mom There are any books on fairies here and she said of course there are books on fairies here

Jerk:

That's awesome.

Bitch:

and including the original book on fairies and elves from the time life series like I was like oh shit like I don't know how much this time life series is here but like that's definitely part of my inheritance

Jerk:

Mm-hmm.

Bitch:

and I'm just like in a kid slowly start taking these books out and just be like what I don't know what that book went but uh so she has some fun books on fairies here that I did enjoy getting to read but this Seattle guy they never said what type of fairy he was

Jerk:

Nope.

Bitch:

and that annoys the fuck out of me I want

Jerk:

That

Bitch:

to know

Jerk:

is annoying.

Bitch:

what he I don't understand what he was

Jerk:

And was he like a hit man because Dean got away? Like, I don't really know. He was just fucking

Bitch:

I

Jerk:

with

Bitch:

don't

Jerk:

him.

Bitch:

know. And so this

Jerk:

And

Bitch:

is

Jerk:

like,

Bitch:

where

Jerk:

they

Bitch:

I'm

Jerk:

should

Bitch:

like.

Jerk:

be stoked if he got arrested. Like, who cares? The End

Bitch:

I'm like, is this in my supernatural companion books that I, you know, don't have with me? Like, I

Jerk:

Thank you.

Bitch:

don't

Jerk:

Thank you.

Bitch:

understand where I don't get it. But beyond that, you know, there is like those, those things. I just think it was so well written and just

Jerk:

Yeah.

Bitch:

enjoyable

Jerk:

Super

Bitch:

and

Jerk:

fun.

Bitch:

Sam, so was Sam is high. He's so emotionally unavailable and just wants to go back. Yeah, that works for me shockingly. I know. I know Diana is so surprised right now that Sam has

Jerk:

shot.

Bitch:

all of a sudden become my type now when he doesn't want to talk about his feelings.

Jerk:

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Bitch:

But you know, for Dean, I mean, this is, you know, so we have this very weird juxtaposition of where Dean is the one with the feelings now. And

Jerk:

Yeah,

Bitch:

but he.

Jerk:

no, that isn't interesting. And you were talking about a little bit about that earlier. And obviously, I had observed it, but I think that really drove it home. I'm like, oh, wow, they have kind of flipped.

Bitch:

Yeah, and but even then, like you have Dean who's not equipped to talk about his feelings, but he knows he's having them. And now he's having to talk about them with someone who like, yeah, it's, they, they covered a lot of ground in a very fun way.

Jerk:

Yeah, I agree. I agree.

Bitch:

Yeah. But also, like, so what are your thoughts on, I mean, so we've got obviously we're setting ourselves up for things here, right? So

Jerk:

All right,

Bitch:

we've

Jerk:

so

Bitch:

got...

Jerk:

Sam's gonna be wishy-washy about his soul, is what I know.

Bitch:

Yeah, but

Jerk:

And

Bitch:

I mean,

Jerk:

he's

Bitch:

do

Jerk:

gonna

Bitch:

you

Jerk:

either

Bitch:

think

Jerk:

be

Bitch:

he

Jerk:

directly

Bitch:

should get it back?

Jerk:

wishy-washy? Yes, I think he should get it back. Obviously, obviously. The End

Bitch:

Oh.

Jerk:

But I think that he's gonna, I think that, I don't know if he's gonna be directly wishy-washy. I think he's just gonna kinda skirt it and avoid it until Dean calls him out again. I think he's gonna, I think that, I don't know if he's gonna be directly wishy-washy. I think he's just gonna kinda skirt it and avoid it until Dean calls him out again. I think he's just gonna kinda skirt it and avoid it until Dean calls him out again. I think he's just gonna kinda skirt it and avoid it until Dean calls him out again. I think he's just gonna kinda skirt it and avoid it until Dean calls him out again. I think he's just gonna kinda skirt it and avoid it until Dean calls him out again.

Bitch:

Well, I mean, if you don't have a soul, why would you want one? Is somebody told me, I mean, and this is this baby ghost that I am as freaky AI, you know why she hates AI, but

Jerk:

Yeah.

Bitch:

but basically, you know, it gets alluded to in here where Sam says, so having a soul is suffering. So feeling means that you feel pain. And it does seem like

Jerk:

Thank you.

Bitch:

this

Jerk:

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Bitch:

type of this Sam, where some of the writing goes awry. Like, he has enjoyment. You know, like, he enjoys watching Dean get fucked with. Like, it may be a just shallow enjoyment, but he still has

Jerk:

Yeah.

Bitch:

it.

Jerk:

Well, I would argue that you can have that, but you can't have joy, which is different than a superficial enjoyment without an opposite.

Bitch:

I just bit

Jerk:

Like

Bitch:

how

Jerk:

it's

Bitch:

if

Jerk:

like

Bitch:

you

Jerk:

dark. It's like the dark. You can't have dark without light. You can't have, you know what I mean? You've got to have, how do you, you can't

Bitch:

But

Jerk:

gauge

Bitch:

if you don't

Jerk:

it without

Bitch:

know what

Jerk:

the

Bitch:

you're

Jerk:

suffering.

Bitch:

missing, like

Jerk:

Well,

Bitch:

he

Jerk:

he,

Bitch:

says

Jerk:

but

Bitch:

he,

Jerk:

he kind of does.

Bitch:

but he

Jerk:

He

Bitch:

does

Jerk:

says,

Bitch:

it, you can't

Jerk:

but you

Bitch:

like,

Jerk:

can't feel it.

Bitch:

you can't feel it, right? So why would you like, you know, you told me like, or just like a computer, like you put that in a choice. It was like, you could have this thing that you don't know or you could experience something that's, but even then, how do you know what suffering is? Oh, so deep. How do you know what suffering is? If you don't know what joy is? Oh no, you feel nothing. Nothing.

Jerk:

It's like experiences and joy are like my part of my career based on it. So it's kind of hard for me to process that. This live music is about a shared experience and the feelings and the joy that one experiences in a joint setting and the importance of that experience. I don't know, that's something I'm very passionate about. Damn.

Bitch:

That's how I do the fact that you would die. No, you went very deep You went very deep from Liz's legs. So it was hot and say in your

Jerk:

I know,

Bitch:

leg

Jerk:

but like, well, no, but like from the, yeah, a little bit, but like the not, I think there, I think Dean, it does a terrible job explaining the difference in having a soul, because he only talks about suffering. That's a very, very shitty way to sell this deal. But let's got really excited about not having a soul. I think I'm upset and I had to go super passionate from it.

Bitch:

I think this is more a concern that Diana is like, gets concerned that Liz doesn't want to feel feelings. Because why feelings are for suckers. And they just go down.

Jerk:

You

Bitch:

They

Jerk:

and Sam

Bitch:

just...

Jerk:

should write a story about it.

Bitch:

No, then it goes...

Jerk:

Liz and Solace Sam, Panfic, coming up.

Bitch:

We go to adventure and we go see, so we would go see the baby sloths or the San Antonio zoo Because if I didn't have a soul, that's what I'd be doing tomorrow. I would say you fuck you work. I'm gonna go see baby sloths

Jerk:

Yeah, that checks out.

Bitch:

And if in case that does happen, I'm coming down to something. All

Jerk:

terrible.

Bitch:

right, on that note, we're veering off topic as we do. So I think it's time

Jerk:

Oh.

Bitch:

to cheer to Sturk.

Jerk:

Cheers, bitch.

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