Artwork for podcast Thrive Beyond Pornography (Formerly The Self Mastery Podcast)
Wanting vs Committed
Episode 4412th July 2020 • Thrive Beyond Pornography (Formerly The Self Mastery Podcast) • Zach Spafford
00:00:00 00:22:11

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-       Do you really want to or is there a part of you that isn’t willing to let it go yet?

-       Choosing to do this on purpose.

-       Not waiting until you never look at porn to have the confidence to be a free person

-       Commitment vs wanting – if you want something that doesn’t mean you will be able to get it.

-       To want is to desire or wish for something – there is no action required – it is passive

-       Wanting is really easy – all you have to do is think “I want this”

-       There is no risk involved.  

-       It doesn’t require anything of us.

-       Saying “I want to stop looking at porn” isn’t going to get it done

-       It increases desire without any positive results – which can create a negative result in that you think you are doing something without results – 


-       When we think we  are doing something without results we are creating failures

-       This is proof in our heads that we are failing. 


-       When we want something but aren’t doing anything to get it we are creating a gap that our brain tells us is insurmountable. 


-       When we are committed we promise to do something. 

-       Have you ever said to someone, “I’m going to get this done”.  Whether is was, going into a certain profession or building something that you had no experience doing?

-       As you go through that process, in your mind, you never waver.


-       You know it is going to happen no matter what. 


-       That is committed. 


-       Action is required – until you get to the place you want to be.


-       You aren’t waiting for it to happen before you believe in it. 


-       Being committed is uncomfortable and challenging. 


-       It also gets results


-       You will have to do things differently and think about circumstances differently

-       You have to see the world differently than you do now to make that thing happen

-       A really simple example of this in my life has been becoming a podcaster. 

-       I had no idea how to podcast 6 months ago. 

-       It wasn’t even on my radar. 

-       Then I wanted to be a podcaster because I thought it would be a great way to get the message out that there is help and there is a way forward for people who struggle. 

-       But that didn’t make me a podcaster.

-       For months before I really committed to doing it I wanted it and I thought about it and I didn’t do it. 

-       Then I sat down and went through my “how to get stuff done” course again

-       In that process I committed to getting my first podcast done. 

-       As part of this you will get the basics of the how to get stuff done course so you can begin the process of becoming committed to overcoming pornography. 

-       So as I sat down and actually laid out what I was committing to in a very specific way 

-       I changed from just wanting, which was easy to being committed by really defining what it would take to accomplish the goal of publishing my first 3 podcasts.


-       100% commitment is easier than 98% commitment

-       If you are wavering at all, if you think, “well, if I don’t get all the way there, that will be fine” – 

-       You have already lost. 

-       I know that sounds dire, and dramatic, 

-       Its true. 

-       People don’t go climb mt Everest to say, I got 98% of the way there. 

-       Being committed means that you are willing to do whatever it takes to accomplish the goal. 

-       That often means sacrificing something else in the process. 

-       People who climb mount Everest lose fingers and limbs and even their lives in the pursuit. 

-       You don’t have to loose a limb to overcome pornography, but that is still the kind of commitment you want to bring to the table 

-       Because it is the only way to make it all the way to the goal of being pornography free. 

-       I will do this regardless

-       “jack canfield said: once you make a 100% commitment to something, there are no exceptions. It’s a done deal. Nonnegotiable. Case closed! Over and out. 

-       That doesn’t mean you will succeed tomorrow. 

-       What it means is that you will think about, write down, analyze, share, and execute everything that you can think of to get there. 

-       Then when you fall short, you do it again.  

-       And when you fall short again, you do it again. 

-       Over

-       And over, 

-       And over

-       Until you succeed.

-       That was my mindset when I overcame pornography

-       I knew I was unlearning something that I had taught myself over the course of years and so I knew it wasn’t coming undone in a day or two.

-       I also knew that the only way I was going to fail is if I stopped trying to succeed. 

-       So I got smart about it. 

-       I got curious about it. 

-       I got committed about it. 

-       That is what you have to do. 

-       So, take some time. Don’t just make a snap decision, 

-       Think about the costs 

-       Think about the benefits. 

-       Write them down.

-       Earnestly pray about whether you want to commit to this because it will not be easy

-       Then let everyone you can in on your commitment.

-       Be vocal about it. 

-       Be clear about it, to yourself and others. 

-       Then you will be ready. 




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