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Ep.36 The most powerful person in the room. [social life]
Episode 3612th March 2021 • The Borealis Experience • Aurora Eggert
00:00:00 00:10:28

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hey you,

Who do you look up to?

Who is a person in power in your life?

There is all kinds of powerful people out there but are they really respected by others or is there lots of fear, submission, intimidation and resentment involved as well ?

Have a look around you and see how you were conditioned in early years :)

with love and respect

Aurora


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Free yourself from the ongoing destructive inner chatter become the strongest most authentic version of yourself.





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Transcripts

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Hello, hello,

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and welcome to the Borealis experience. I'm your host

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Aurora. And I'm so happy to be spending some time with you

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today. I hope you're doing well. It is Friday, March 12, starting

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to be spring out here in Canada, and I'm very excited to be

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spending more time outdoors. Alright, today I want to talk

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about the most powerful person in the room, I feel that there's

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a huge shift going on in the world, when it comes to role

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models and power. And what we look up to used to be different.

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And side of me how I perceived powerful people, I thought

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powerful people are loud and aggressive, and dominant. Even,

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yeah, uncomfortable to be around, let's say. And now I

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traveled I met people, I worked in all different kinds of jobs.

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I lived in different countries. And what I observed is that the

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most powerful person in the room has the most calm and steady

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heartbeat. The powerful person that I look up to is a listener,

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instead of a talker, they lead people talk, they make people

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feel good. And they know exactly where they stand, they don't

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have to prove anything. They are very secure. And they make

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people feel secure and good about themselves too. So if you

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imagine a chain with all kinds of elements, like links,

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wherever you say that in English, their leader that I was

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describing here, is kind of pulling that chain. And the

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people are like magnets and want to follow that person. And the

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leader who is pushy and controlling and aggressive and

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loud, will try to push that chain in this metaphor into a

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direction and is trying to push people into certain directions.

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But do you see what happens when you push a chain along the table

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instead of pulling it along the table? So the one person who's

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calm and quiet and confident will people get to follow them.

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And really, ultimately get them to do what they want and what

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the leader wants. And the person who pushes people to do things.

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He will deal with people who have fearful and resentful maybe

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even and are kind of Yeah, the sheep kind of purple of people

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who follow orders without even really questioning and without

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having a spine you know, without having a backbone. So, maybe you

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can observe in your surroundings now was COVID confinements

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lifting up being more? How do you say with everything being

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more relaxed again and us being able to socialize a little more?

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Have a look at the people that you perceive as being leaders

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and how do they behave? Are they very excited and as I said loud

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and controlling and manipulative or, or they're very calm with

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themselves and that piece, and people want to open up to them.

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They don't really have to ask much from people. More people

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want to serve them. I think it's a very, very interesting

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observation to make. Because that would also teach you that

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you don't have to prove anything to anybody, you just go at your

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pace, and you do your thing, and you're proud of yourself. And

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then you will have people who will encourage you and inspire

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you and want to help you if you need that help. It's kind of a

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magnet, people magnet when you are at peace with yourself, and

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don't make people feel competitive and insecure. For

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the longest time, I think, and there's still people in power,

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who are intimidating and aggressive, and very, yeah,

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weird to be around, because they will always find something that

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you don't know. And that they know. So that feeling of

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superiority and inferiority is in the room when you are in

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their presence. So if you want to observe that, and people and

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know that, yeah, you can give that person power, and you can

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follow them and probably learn lots from them. But there will

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not make you feel good if you stay around these people for too

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long. And then the leaders who are more quiet and operate from

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a deep source of calmness, they usually overseen by those other

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people that are loud and aggressive, and maybe even seen

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as weak if you put one next to the other. But really, those are

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the people that are gonna inspire you, and make you feel

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strong, and make you come out of your shell and discover new

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things about yourself that you didn't even know about yourself.

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So I don't know how you grew up, if you grew up with your

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parents, how your primary caregivers behaved around you,

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and what they taught you, and how your teachers treated you if

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you are good with authority, or if you are a little rebel

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inside. But I think it's definitely worth looking at

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yourself and who you admire. Who do you look up to? And what does

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it tell you about yourself. I gave you the example of the

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aggressive leader, and the more confident and very quiet and

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calm leader. And, yeah, maybe you observe already that you are

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following the aggressive leader and think that that is power.

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And this is how you can manipulate people into what you

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want to do and what you want to achieve, then I invite you to

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look at the other leader and how they get people to do what they

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want and inspire people and are very, very good at what they're

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doing without wasting any energy or risking heart attacks. Also,

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in a group of people, it's very interesting to observe how

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people behave. A lot of people feel inferior when there's

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someone happy and proud and talkative. And see it kind of as

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a negative, that the person is talking and happy for

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themselves. And some people are very quiet and observant and

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kind and really good listeners. And then there's others who are

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very loud and aggressive and always want to

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dominate the conversation and never really let anybody talk.

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And that's also a sign of huge insecurity. But those power or

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those people are given so much power and attention most of the

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time and they can be very destructive. very destructive.

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And yeah, as I said earlier, building resentment in others.

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So yeah, do this little social experiment and look at who you

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are looking up to and maybe look what's going on in your family

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or in your close friend circle. Thank you so much for listening

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to the Borealis experience. I'm your host Aurora and I will be

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back tomorrow again.

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