Have you ever seen another woman with seemingly impossible accomplishments in her life and wondered, "how does she do it all?"

Well, the real answer is, she doesn't. No one does "everything" but some people are better than others at delegating or neglecting the things that don't matter as much in order to make room for the things that DO.

So, if you're a crazy busy mom who's wondering how to find time to build this business, this episode will show you how.

Want to start a business but feeling overwhelmed? Join my Finding Your Side Hustle Course and learn the step-by-step process for starting the business you've been dreaming of.

Ready for one-on-one guidance? Schedule a free coaching call with me so we can make progress on your dreams.

Microphone (HyperX SoloCast):

You're listening to episode

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41 of burning brightly, how

a busy mom builds a business.

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This is burning brightly, a podcast

for Christian moms who are feeling

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called to build a business and

share their light with the world.

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I'm Bonnie Wiscombe, a life

coach, mom, and entrepreneur.

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And I'm honored to be your guide as you

face this business building adventure full

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of highs, lows, and everything in between.

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This is where we help each

other find the courage to shine.

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Microphone (HyperX SoloCast): Hey there.

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Welcome back to burning brightly.

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Today, we're going to talk about how busy

moms build businesses, because I know that

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many of us see other people living their

lives and think, how does she do that?

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Or where does she find time for that?

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Or how can I get more of that in my life?

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So that's what we're

gonna dive into today.

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When I tell people that I own multiple

businesses, homeschool and care for 10

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kids nine, now that my oldest has gone.

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They always only asked me one question.

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How do you do at all?

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I don't know how many people actually

want to know the truth to that

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question, the answer to it, or if

that's just what everybody asks, but

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inevitably that's what comes out.

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How do you do it all?

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And of course the answer is

I don't do quote unquote it

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all, whatever it all means.

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But I think each of us has this vision

in our mind of what accomplishing

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things looks like of what being

productive looks like of what a

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good well lived life looks like.

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And we think that everyone around

us is doing quote unquote, it all.

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And we're the ones that are failing.

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We look at Instagram and it's like, oh,

so-and-so has got the perfect house.

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And so-and-so has got the perfect marriage

and so-and-so's got the perfect vacations

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and so-and-so's got the perfect business.

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Everyone's doing it all.

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What we're not seeing of course is what

everyone else is not doing in order to

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fit in the things that look perfect.

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So the bad news that I have for

you today is that the hours.

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The energy and the brain power accessible

to us in any given day is finite.

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It does not last forever.

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There's only so much

we can cram into a day.

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The good news is that those

hours, that energy and that

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brainpower that I have can be used.

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However I want.

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Really, however I want.

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You know, I know this is true.

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Because some days I

use it, however I want.

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Most days, I think that I'm doing

things that I should do instead

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of the things I want to do, but

that's not really true either.

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I don't really want to sit

around and watch Netflix all

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day long, every single day.

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I don't really want to just eat

chocolate all day, every single day.

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I want balance in my life.

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So let's take a look at

our choices for a second.

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We can use our hours and our energy on.

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TV.

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On folding clothes on

cleaning our toilets.

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On creating marketing

copy for our business.

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I'm going out to lunch with

friends, unloading the dishwasher

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on reading good books or scripture.

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Now, none of these actions I would

argue are inherently bad or good.

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But it's the collection of our

actions in a single day, that

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creates a certain kind of life.

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You take this collection of

actions and you do them over

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and over and over and over.

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And you create a specific kind of life,

your current actions that you're doing

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today and tomorrow, and the next day are

creating the life that you currently have.

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If you want a different life, you create

a collection of different actions.

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Think for a second about a drug

addict whose life is falling apart.

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He has a collection of actions.

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He does every single day.

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Scrapping together, some money

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finding a dealer, buying the drugs, doing

the drugs, not going to work, right.

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He has this collection of actions

and it's created this life.

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That to, most of us looks

kind of like a hot mess.

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Now, maybe Susie down the street has

created a collection of actions that

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to you looks like the perfect life,

but of course you don't see everything.

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You only see everything

within your own life.

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You see the actions you say yes to.

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You see the actions you say no to the

question is, are your current actions

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creating the life you really want?

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In other words, are you actively

choosing the life of your dreams or

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you just doing whatever feels good?

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Or whatever you think you should.

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So I would argue that most of us listening

to this podcast are not wasting our days

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doing all the things that feel good to us.

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We're probably not bingeing on

TV and social media all day long.

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We're probably not eating

whatever the heck we want.

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We're probably not.

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Lounging around in bed,

as long as we want.

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But I think.

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Many of us waste our life, doing

all the things that we should do.

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And don't make space for the

things that we really want.

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And I'm not talking about

the chocolate in the Netflix.

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I'm talking about building

the business of our dreams.

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Okay.

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So first I want to illustrate this

concept by telling you all the

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things I do not do in my life.

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I do not fold anyone's laundry

in my family, except for my own.

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And really only a few pieces

because I hang up most of my stuff.

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I don't meet with my friends

and go out with them very often.

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I don't clean my bathrooms.

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I do not schedule or take

my kids to play dates.

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I also don't do most of the

homeschooling that happens at our house.

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Now, I'm sure you have lots of judgment

about these things that I don't do.

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That's great.

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I probably would have had judgment

for myself 10 years ago, too.

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But instead these are the things that

I've chosen to eliminate or delegate

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so that I can do other things.

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And here's a list of the

things that I do make time for.

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I coach other women who

are building businesses.

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I play card games with my kids.

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I'm currently working on writing a book.

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I exercise at least three times

a week, sometimes up to six.

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I make dinner from scratch most nights.

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And I read lots of books.

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My current yearly goal

is to read about 50.

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The reason I'm telling you all, this

is so, you know, I have been very

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intentional about what I want my

life to look like and what I don't.

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The things in the list of what I

don't do are those that do not matter

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to me as much as the ones that do or

I've been able to outsource them to

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someone else so that I can feel my life

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more with the collection of actions

that is building the dream life.

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I want makes sense.

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And the great news is you can do this too.

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I see way too many moms falling

into the victim mentality of all

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the things that they have to do.

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I have to clean this and I have to

do this and I have to take so-and-so

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here and I have to make dinner.

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And I, that is all garbage.

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Step into your power of choosing

what you're doing with your life.

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You have to feed your kids because

you want to feed your kids.

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You do not want to be the mom

that doesn't feed her kids.

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You quote, unquote, have to take your kid

to soccer because you've chosen to be the

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mom who puts her kids in extracurriculars

that make them more well-rounded

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you don't have to, you chose to.

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So I think it's so powerful for us to step

into that place of owning our choices.

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It is all optional.

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And at any time in your life,

you can swap out something you

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dislike for something better.

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Anytime.

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In fact, I challenge you

to do this this week.

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When you have something you should be

doing or you feel like is an obligation

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that you don't like to do, skip it.

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See what happens.

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Probably nothing.

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Now the point of all, this is not to

motivate you to just go do whatever

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the heck you feel like the point is

to really own up to the fact that we

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choose our actions every single day.

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The key being are your actions

in alignment with your values?

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So again, I'm not.

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Trying to shame anyone who

feels their day with laundry and

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loading the dishwasher and taking

their kids to extra curriculars.

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If those are in alignment

with your values.

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Awesome.

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You're living the life of your dreams.

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If they're not, then we

gotta take a look at them.

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All right.

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So if you are a mom who wants to build

a business around an already busy

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schedule, and you're thinking there is

no way I have four keys for you today,

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that will guarantee you will make

space in your life to build a business.

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Ready.

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Number one schedule or your work time

and honor it, it doesn't have to be

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daily, but it does have to be weekly.

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And I highly recommend the same

days and the same times every week.

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Number two, communicate this work time to

your family and demand, respect for it.

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Number three, invest in

childcare and household help.

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Number four, constantly scan your

life to see if your actions are

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in alignment with your values so

let's take a look at each of these.

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In detail, number one,

schedule your work time.

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It is so easy for us moms to just say

I'll just fit it in wherever I can.

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We're so good at multitasking.

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We're so good at answering the phone

and schedule an appointment while

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changing a dirty diaper and telling

a kid to go load the dishwasher.

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For so many years, I

just worked during naps.

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And when my kids were in bed, Maybe

your plan is to just do it when kids

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are in school, but surprise, surprise.

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Kids are unpredictable.

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They skip naps, they're sick

and stay home from school.

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We have to make a plan, even if.

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The crap hits the fan.

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So I personally saw a direct

correlation between scheduling

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and honoring, consistent work

hours and success in my business.

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So you schedule and honor your work time

and your business thrives all the time.

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That's just how it works.

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You cannot be a successful mom and

a business owner at the same time.

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And when I say at the same time, I

mean, in the same hour, I personally

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consider myself a successful business

owner and a pretty successful mom.

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At the same time, but I'm not

doing the tasks for both in

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the same hour is what I mean.

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Pick one role for each hour of the day.

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So between one and 4:00 PM.

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I am not a great mom.

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I am a business owner.

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So that means I have childcare or I'm

someplace where my kids can't bother me.

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I have to choose one or else

I'm terrible at both of them.

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Now for me personally, my family

always comes first unless I'm working.

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And then work comes first.

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So barring emergencies and by

emergency, I'm not talking like mom

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opened my Graham cracker package.

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I'm talking life, death illness.

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If my baby is sick and needs

me, then I'll take a day off

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I honor that.

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But barring those emergencies

when it's work time, I'm working.

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Okay.

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Number two, communicate these work

hours and your commitment to them.

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To your family.

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If you respect your work time.

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But no one else does good luck because

they're just going to continually

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interrupt you and need things from you.

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Until you go crazy.

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I always recommend starting with your

husband, tell him about your dreams.

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Tell him about your goals and then ask

him to please honor your request and

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help out with the kids during work hours.

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If he's home, if not, maybe he can

help you catch up if something happens

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during the day, or if you choose to

work in the evenings, when he's home.

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Now.

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Once you express your request to

your husband to get more help around

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the house, he may or may not comply.

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He might decide to comply

and then complain about it.

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Guess what?

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It doesn't matter.

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You do not need a supportive

husband to build a successful

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business, but it does help.

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So if you can get your husband on

board and get him helping out more

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fantastic, but please do not use a

husband who was not supportive as an

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excuse to not build your own dream.

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In my experience, I've seen a

lot of husbands get on board.

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Once they see how hard their wives

are working and how much they want it.

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But again, don't use an unsupportive

spouse as an excuse for you to.

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Shell of your dreams.

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Now I personally usually work in my

home office, but my kids are always

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home because they're homeschooled

and I have a lot of little ones.

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Then those little ones, unfortunately

do not respect or even know how

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to read a, do not disturb sign.

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So when I have work to do and

interruptions are happening

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or things aren't working

out, then I leave the house.

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Or that's when I get my babysitter,

we'll talk more about this in a second.

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One of the best things I did for myself

recently was invest in a coworking space.

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So they are offices that you

can find in many large cities.

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Where entrepreneurs or those

who work from home can come

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and work in the office space.

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It's quiet.

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It's beautiful.

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It's clean.

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There are no little people

banging on the door and asking

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you to help them wipe their bum.

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You can also go work at a friend

or a family members, quiet house.

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Do you have a grandma

who has a quiet home?

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Do you have a friend who

doesn't have kids at home?

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You can even go work at the library.

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I did this for a long, long time.

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You can get little study carousels.

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You can just work out in the open.

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It's quiet.

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So nice.

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For me personally, a coworking space

was the right decision recently

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because I found it so amazing to rub

shoulders with other entrepreneurs.

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And to network in that way.

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So that is an added

bonus of coworking space.

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Now when you do have emergencies

come up, a kid gets sick.

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Then what.

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Well, not too long ago.

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I had an example of this myself.

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I have a daughter who has regular

seizures, and I had to spend the day in

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the emergency room with this daughter who

had an epileptic seizure unexpectedly.

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Not only did I miss my regular

working hours, but I actually

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missed a coaching call.

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I had scheduled for a contract position

that I do, and that was embarrassing

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and frustrating, but obviously

my daughter's health came first.

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And luckily of course, the people that

were on the call were understanding.

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When you are a working

parent, these things happen.

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So, what is your plan for catching up?

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Are you able to shift back into work

mode later that night when the kids

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are in bed or maybe later that week?

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Could you take a day?

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Away from parenting later on that month

to catch up on the things that you missed,

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have a plan to make up for that time.

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A really important thing to note here

is when you are the only one in your

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business, and you're the only one keeping

yourself accountable, or even when

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you're the boss of couple of employees.

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You are still the one who gets to

decide when and where you work.

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Don't cheat yourself.

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By saying, well, I'll just do it later.

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Well, I'll just work on that another time.

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There was so many days where I sit down,

I look at my plan for the week and I

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think I don't want to do any of that.

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I just want to sit around and

watch a movie with my kids.

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But I'm the only one pushing

this business forward.

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I'm the one in charge I have to

honor my commitments to myself.

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Now kids learn and adapt

quickly, which is so wonderful.

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But if you are not consistent with

your work time, And schedule, then they

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will not be either be consistent with

yourself and they will learn quickly.

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All right.

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So we talked about

scheduling regular work time.

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We talked about communicating

this to our family.

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Number three is investing in help.

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So many women, I see hesitate to do this.

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They don't think they're worth it, or they

don't have the extra money or whatever.

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This requires some sacrifice, especially

before your business is making

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money, but you will need help if your

business is ever going to make money.

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You have to outsource some things.

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One way to find out where to start with

this is to start keeping a time log,

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to determine where you're spending

lots of time, especially on things

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that don't matter as much, or

don't need to be done by you.

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So like grocery shopping actually

matters quite a bit, but it doesn't

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really need to be done by me.

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I actually don't have to go to the

grocery store and find my groceries.

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I can have the grocery

delivery guy do that.

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figure out what is taking up a lot of time

and then figure out how to outsource it.

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I personally for the last few

years have had a nanny slash

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helper who kind of watches my kids.

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They're pretty independent, but

also does laundry organizes, closets

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changes, sheets takes kids places.

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Does any of those things that I

don't have time to, or I choose not

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to in order to work on my business.

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And this ensures that no matter how busy

my crazy life gets, I always have time

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and space for my business because those

other things are getting taken care of.

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It also coincidentally ensures that

the things that I hate doing, or

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that are my weaknesses, I E laundry.

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I actually get done and life

continues to run smoothly,

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even when I'm not doing it all.

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Now if income is a real problem and

you don't have extra money to put

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towards outsourcing these things.

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You can just get creative and find

ways to bring in extra income or

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cut expenses to make this happen.

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Maybe you could rent one of your cars

on Turo or rent out a room on Airbnb.

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You could sell some stuff in your

garage, or you could tutor or teach

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online after the kids are in bed.

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So many different options to

bring in a few extra hundred

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dollars to get the help you need.

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All right.

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Finally, number four,

do regular value checks.

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This looks like taking a quiet

moment every now and again, to

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see if your current actions.

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And how you're spending your time are

in keeping with your current priorities.

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Whether we've noticed that or not.

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We actually do this all the time.

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It's how we've become the people we are.

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It's how we're.

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Good functional citizens and not

drug addicts with lives that are

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falling apart because we're constantly

scanning and checking, right.

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Have you ever had a day where you

yell a lot at your kids and the house

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was a mess the next day, you probably

vowed to yell less and clean more.

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We're constantly making minute changes

to our behavior, to live the life

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that we want, but we have to be extra

careful at this as working moms who are

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building these businesses from scratch.

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Sunday nights are a really great

time to do this kind of a quiet

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time to sit down and do a little

introspection, ask yourself things like

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how much time did I spend on useless

pursuits like TV and social media.

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How much time did I spend doing

things I really want to do like

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spending time with my husband or kids.

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Did I accomplish the things

I wanted to in my business.

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If not, is that okay?

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Or do I need to adjust my work hours?

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Now your business obviously

needs a certain amount of time

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before it becomes profitable.

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We don't know how many hours that is.

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Depends on a lot of factors, right?

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You can do that fast.

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You can do it slow.

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You can do it with help or

without, but it's still going

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to take the same amount of time.

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If you get help, you can work on it.

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More consistently.

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And meet your goals quicker.

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Now, when you notice that your

life is slightly out of alignment,

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or maybe majorly out of alignment

with your values, you can make

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tiny shifts or big ones as needed.

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The tiny shifts might look like

something as simple as taking one of

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your kids on a walk to connect with them.

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And check in on them.

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It might look like just carving out

some time before everyone wakes up in

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the morning to read something spiritual

gets you more in alignment with God.

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Big shifts can look like quitting

a job or pivoting your business.

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it can look like hiring help in your

business or outside of it, changing

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your work hours, maybe saying no

to a bunch of commitments that have

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kind of taken your life off track.

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They tend to be larger decisions.

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But regardless of whether they're

tiny or big, we have to constantly

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make those adjustments in order to

be living the life that we want.

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Okay friend.

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I.

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Promise you, it does not matter

how busy you currently are.

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You are in control of your life.

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You have made the decisions that have

gotten you here, and you will make the

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decisions that will get you where you

are next year and five years from now.

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If you were feeling called

to build a business.

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It means that God needs you out

there serving people outside of

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your family and you can do it.

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I am the first person to tell moms to

make their family their first priority.

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But.

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Be aware of using your home and kids as

an excuse to hide from this call that God

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has given you, you can do so much more

than you think, especially with his help.

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You have to be intentional about

it, and you have to let go of

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the things that don't matter.

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I believe in you, my friend, let's go out

there and build the life of our dreams.