77. Why First Gen burnout is different—and how to work WITH it

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Episode 77 • 10th September 2025 • Cycle Breakers & Money Makers • Mariela De La Mora | Leadership and Business Coach for Women of Color

Mariela De La Mora (: 00:00

This episode is going to be exactly what cycle breakers and moneymakers means and why I called the podcast this because so much of what my brand is here to do and what I'm here to do is to help women of color to break cycles that are between them and thriving financially.

and having freedom and flexibility and the ability to be themselves. And the reason that those two are so intertwined is because in order for us to have just enough, be more than just our watered down version of ourselves, to have more options than what some system or institution or person would grant us, it actually does require several different patterns of healing, healing our relationship with ourselves.

our voices, ⁓ our relationship with work and rest, our identities and our attachments to our success, all of those things. That is why women of color and first gen in particular actually need that identity affirming lens, that lens that understands where they came from and which is why traditional conventional one size fits all business advice tends to miss us. It helps us to a degree. But what I find and what I see is that

many of us don't get past a certain income level and not that success always needs to be attached to an income level, but there's a reason why. Or it means you hit a certain income level and then you go out of business or you burn out and you don't come back and or you actually say, I don't want to grow past this point. Right. And that's valid for many reasons for many people. It's not to say that we all should want to make a certain amount or want to continue to grow. Right. It isn't that it's just where those things come from. ⁓

And that's part of what I'm going to talk about ⁓ in this episode today, because I haven't heard anybody talk about it, especially from the business lens. I think that if you know any therapists or you know somatic therapists, if you know any practitioners who work with marginalized people, you would probably hear them speak about burnout in this way. But on this episode, I'm going to share my story and also how my story is mirrored in many of the clients that I have coached, especially my clients in Reclamation who

join Reclamation when they've already had success, many of them have been in business for several years, they have a history, like they're known for something, they have, you know, multiple six figure years in their history or six figure years, they have programs that they're known for, like they're a big deal. Like some of them, I'm like, I don't know how much they realize this, but like they really are. And yet, they're not the same person that started the business for many reasons. Sometimes they've they've

burned out or they've experienced grief or something where they're literally like moving forward as a different person, they feel different in their body or they just desire different things and they've experienced some semblance of ⁓ like emotional or physical burnout. But what's important to note about this, which is what I'm going to talk about in the episode is I want you to know that not all burnout is the same. There is a difference between situational burnout

meaning you burnt out from working too much, which I've had that happen. I've had situational burnout from working 70 hours a week versus generational burnout. Now, generational burnout is when you are healing patterns that you observed and adopted from your earliest childhood memories to even things that you carry in your DNA and way of being based on your mother and your grandmother and like...

how they felt unsafe and the things that you didn't even start in your lifetime. And when you speak to anybody who works in the healing, in any sort of healing modality, working with marginalized people in particular, they're already aware of this, that like trauma can get passed down to three generations, meaning that things that your grandmother experienced can get passed down to your mom and to you.

And so you're carrying ways of being and fears and nervous system responses and safety or lack thereof in different areas that you didn't even, it's not even attached to any memories that you have in your lifetime, right? Which is why we're so good at working really hard, getting things done, being with our back against the wall, against all odds, you can always count on us to make things happen. And we, many of us witnessed like.

mothers who couldn't sit down, they were always buzzing around the house. If you have ever sat down, if you're, if you still have your, if you have a relationship with your mother and they're still around and same with grandparents, ⁓ and you hear some of their stories, especially daughters of immigrants in particular. And I say daughters of immigrants because this means that like you're hearing stories of your grandmother and mother who grew up in your native country. And like some of the trauma that they are carrying is just like,

I was reminded of this recently because I just went on a girls trip with two of my friends and we were talking about our childhood stuff as you do when you hang out with your friends to talk about all your, you know, family stuff and childhood trauma. And I was just like, you guys, like, do you realize like this is the, this is where we came from. Like such levels of like mothers and grandmothers who were like abandoned, experienced various forms of abuse, couldn't like

didn't feel safe unless they were being or doing what other people like needed from them and they were valuable in that sense who grew up in poverty and like didn't have enough. And so this is why first gen in particular, we carry it and it's so recent. So that's why I want to talk to you about today is like you, if you feel like you are going through a season right now where you're just like, I don't know what's going on with me, but I don't feel like the person that I used to, the things that I used to be able to like mind over matter. can't mind over matter it anymore.

but it doesn't feel like maybe you're not like completely out of it. You just feel like you're not yourself. And maybe you look back longingly at a previous version of you who like used to be able to show up no matter what and like get the things done no matter what. And now your body resists it. But then there's another part that's like, we don't actually want to do it that way anymore. But you either...

you are shaving yourself or you feel like, my gosh, are people, am I going to like lose relevancy or maybe it's affected your finances, right? So there's almost like this two opposing sides of you. One who grieves and misses the version of you who used to be able to do mind over matter and just show up and do the things regardless of how they felt versus the present version of you who like doesn't feel as safe with where you are right now, but also doesn't want to go back to the way things were.

⁓ and so this episode is really about how do you know that you are, ⁓ it's a burnout story that you haven't heard, right? And it may be one that you're sitting in because I certainly didn't know that I was in burnout until like seven months in it, because it didn't feel the way that they talk about it. Right. So I'm going to talk about why, ⁓ first gen burnout and saying when from a marginalized background is different, the difference between generational and situational burnout.

⁓ myths and misconceptions and things that are not true around burnout that we hear, especially when it is being sold as a solution to very vulnerable people. ⁓ I want to talk about why it happens. I want to talk about how it affects business, how long it lasts and what things affect how long it lasts and what you need to do to begin working through it without bypassing yourself.

And then I'm going to end with some questions to ask yourself to help you figure out how would I move forward if I had D plus capacity and that this was going to last longer than I thought, because inevitably it may or may not. But I want to leave you with that because this is essentially like what I had to do in order to not just like stay afloat, but still, you know, profit. I'm still, you know, I'm a single parent. I'm a breadwinner. I, you know, live in a very expensive city and all of that. And so it's kind of like this is

I essentially from day one have always had to become very adept at not like bypassing myself and being able to like heal, but also make money. Right? So this is, this episode is going to help you figure out how do I continue to make money while working with the capacity and the season that I'm in, while I'm figuring out what's next, especially when you probably aren't the same person that you were. And you're probably not going to go back to exactly the same person that you were. And I'll talk a little bit about that. first of all,

⁓ if you're joining me on this episode, I also want you to know I'm going to be diving more into this, on my workshop on October 1st. It's called Scaling Beyond Survival Mode as Women of Color Entrepreneurs. Book out your next chapter without burning down your business. And it's going to talk about the different survival mode patterns that plateau our growth, that cause us to go back into our results, that really just,

a plateau or profit, all the things that make business really, really hard and why it happens generally after success, after you have evidence that you can make money and why that is. So please join me there. You can register in the show notes. why first gen burnout is different. And I would say first gen in anyone from a marginalized background, but I'd say a particular first gen because we do come from a background of like a generation, you know, just one generation ago, like

some many of our parents didn't have enough to eat, right? And, ⁓ and generational again, is kind of what I alluded to at the beginning of the episode, which is like where you're carrying things that didn't start in your lifetime, and or they started before you had any like active memories of like why you feel unsafe to like rest, ⁓ amongst many things, right? And ⁓ this is reason why I don't resonate with most advice about burnout. ⁓ Because

It talks about it almost in like the outer like, you're overworking. ⁓ but that's not always the case because like when I burnt out, I wasn't overworking. Like I was working less probably than I had ever worked. So just to put that into perspective, sometimes you don't think that you're burned out because you haven't been working that much. Like, yeah, I wasn't working that much. And I had just come out of like my biggest launch ever. I made 176,000 in a launch in one month. I was literally like, you know, it's like, you would think like you're at the top of your career and ⁓

But oftentimes, that's exactly why it happens when it does. I'll talk a little bit about that. lot of Burnout Advice is positioned around overworking and they sell solutions as short term and being able to happen quickly. And I want you to know that's untrue and harmful. If you actually talk to anybody who is a trained therapist who went to school for years, years and actually qualified to talk about it.

somatic practitioner, nervous system practitioner, anybody who's like I said, is a therapist, like has their master's degree, like has their supervised hours, has been actively like working with clients for years and years and years. They will tell you, you cannot say, yeah, we're gonna, it would be the same as saying heal your trauma in 90 days, like heal your burnout. you can't, you cannot actually actively say that because there are so many nuances and underlying factors that contribute to the symptoms of burnout. And it is not all situational, like I said. So.

And the reason that I say this is because when you are burnt out, you will do anything to not be burnt out. You will do anything to go back to the person that you were. And maybe if you don't resonate with burnout, but you're in a season of like deep grief, anything like that, where your like capacity is deeply impacted. my gosh, like you just want to go back to how you were because you feel so unsafe.

with not being able to mind over matter. know, like mind over matter is like how you were safe, right? And so this is why I feel very strongly about this because I feel like messaging around something so vulnerable can actually be predatory even if the person doesn't intend to, but it just, it is not true in anybody that actually has studied this and gone to school for this will tell you that it is so much more nuanced. So part of what I'm gonna talk to you about today isn't like, hey, you're gonna like heal your burnout. I'm saying, how can you work with how you feel?

while you're discovering who you're actually becoming in this chapter, what's the burnout showing you about who you need to be? And how can you hold space for the fact that this isn't just you overworking or just a personality trait or just a situational thing to honor the depth of the fact that you may be processing stuff that didn't start with you and to be gentle with yourself? Like you may actually

be holding things that are so much deeper than you realize and that's okay but I think when I realized like my ancestors have my back my you know I'm learning ⁓ this makes sense like I observed patterns or where like my mom would always make sure that she was working and she would never sit down and like I couldn't ⁓ you know if I wasn't like cleaning the house or doing homework I couldn't just like be sitting and hanging out because I always had to be doing something in the house like these are the things you carry in your bones and for anybody to make it just about like you've been working too much lately like you are dismissing

the fact that probably from your very first memory, you never felt like you actually could just be and rest maybe beyond like age seven or something like that, right? Like, Ponte a limpiar la casa or whatever, you like you're always like being told like go and do something. ⁓ So this is why I say that because if you're in this place, you probably are wanting to be anywhere else other than where you are. And for me and for many of us, this is why it lasts so long. So why it happens, I...

have witnessed personally, both in my situation and also in my clients, that sometimes it happens when you feel safe for it to happen, which is why I say it's not situational. You actually might be in a season where you're working less than you've ever worked, and you've had seasons where you worked way more and you didn't burn out. But the reason that it happens now is because there is a tipping point, I think, this is what I have seen, where you feel safe to fall apart or you feel safe to be tired from things that aren't even recent.

And generally this will happen when you have reached a point where you're making more money than you would in the workforce. You're making an amount of money that you don't feel triggered by anymore. And then you have enough evidence in your brain of, know this is a thing. You have enough evidence in your brain where you know, if I had to survival mode my way into money, I could. If I had to do what I had to do and I had to make more money, I could. In the moment, you're just like,

like this is spilling really hard, you have a hard time accessing your creativity, you know, you're resisting things, but because you have enough evidence of your money making ability, you will resist it because you actually need the safety to kind of fall apart a bit and let go of these old patterns that are not supposed to come with you. And that will happen, like you will just stay in this, in this like high performing state as long as you need to be. basically, and when you feel safe to not be, then that's when it...

That's when this part finally can rest. But until then, this survival part, we're gonna say the survival part that we all have is your role self. So your role self is the part of you that you trained very well. It was the one that had to play a role, had to be who other people wanted them to be, or had to be whoever they needed to be in order for you to be safe. So I call mine clipboard. So.

She's clipboard, she walks around with a clipboard. She's like, all right, what are we doing? What have we done lately? You okay, like what are we doing here? Okay, that's not good enough. Like, yeah, okay, you did that. That was a win, but who cares? Like, what does that mean about moving forward? Like we need to get to work. Like, what are we doing? And, you know, it's like, this is the part that kept me safe, right? And many of us have a role self when you think about who did you need to be growing up? Who did you need to be in college, in the workforce? Who did you need to be for other people in order for you to be safe, successful scene, or at the very least, you know, left alone.

depending on your upbringing, right? So Clipboard ran my life. ⁓ Even when I was successful in the workforce, even when I was a marketing director, Clipboard was still there because Clipboard, my role self still, it does very well in structured environments. And Clipboard didn't actually start passing the baton until I made so much money that I was like, I remember leaving myself a voice memo after that launch and I said, you're never gonna have to worry about money again. I said it to myself and I believed it.

And then when it became so much harder for me to like show up because then the burnout hit it's because I know that that's still true. Like I know that I'm never going to have to worry about money. Even though there were times that I was worried about money, but it's just like, was a flip switch in my brain where it was like, you actually are going to be fine. And if it was down to you and your back against the wall, like, you know that you would figure it out if you absolutely had to. But since you're here, you worked so hard to get here.

You worked so hard to get here, slow down and let's figure out what what parts of what behaviors, what habits, what beliefs we actually want to leave behind now that you have created this safety. Now that you have created this belief in your ability to make money and have your own back and provide for yourself. That's why it happens after success. Okay. So, so this is why.

Oftentimes when you're here, you'll look back and you're like, I used to be able to do this. I used to be able to that. And you're like, oh, you might be comparing yourself to a version of you from a certain year, like maybe a bigger year in business or a season or a launch or something. And you're comparing yourself and you're just like, why can't I, how can I just knock it back there? And that is when people generally start to freak out because the part, the role self in my case, clipboard, all of a sudden,

can't show up to the table they're trying to but there's another part that's like stopping them which is a part that you worked really hard to build which is your higher self which is your ideal self and this is a season of baton passing essentially it's it sucks sometimes when you're in it this baton passing season it's almost as if you think about if you had think about it in like the movie ⁓ the devil wears prada when like glenn close was just like

who Glenn Close was and she's just like, if you ever see this movie and she, everyone was scared of her, ⁓ Miranda, she was Miranda in the movie. Everyone was scared of her, but the company was doing really well, right? Imagine if someone else tried to come in, because that actually happened in the movie, right? And it was like a softer person and she like didn't want this person to take over. Imagine if a softer version came and tried to take over and that part, that role self, that harsh.

self that was very critical and got things done was like, who are you? What are you going to do? Come over here and run my company. Like you're crazy. I'm not going to let you do it. That's what happens. And so they're going to stay in control until you have enough evidence that another part can lead. This is why it happens after success. So the way that it affects you in business, when you have a form of burnout hit you and you'll, it'll feel like resistance. It'll feel like different things is you

oftentimes will stop marketing in ways that make you feel exposed because you don't feel like your normal self. It's almost like, yeah, it's almost as if like an animal was injured. It wouldn't want anybody to see it. It's like, you're just like, can't, I can't like, so anything like face to cam, things like that start to feel harder. You also generally will know that you're here because you will have money making opportunities right in front of you and you won't take them. So something that I will hear my clients say is,

⁓ I, someone who I know like works for an organization and they literally said that they're looking for my work and they've asked for me to reach out with a pitch deck because they want to talk about collaborating with me and me possibly doing a workshop or coaching their people. And like, I haven't sent it to them and they know that they could and they just don't do it. Right. so not following up, things like client renewals, when you used to be on top of it, you're not anymore. ⁓ you'll slow down on marketing in general.

You may postpone a launch. Like it's things where you know that you could make money, but you're just not. And it's like your body is kind of slowing down being like, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, like, let's just see what's, what's happening. And, um, and it may look different for you, but it tends to be like knowing you could do something, but then you don't do it because a part of you is trying to protect, you know, your capacity. Now, when you're here, in terms of how long it lasts,

this season can last a while. I've been coaching clients who are a year and a half into this process, right? And they're kind of in a serious season of like reinvention. For me, it lasted about a year and a half. It's kind of hard to know when it started and when it finished, but I would say like my burnout probably lasted a year and a half. I'm coaching people who've had like almost like grief burnout. It's like grief related burnout. It's not necessarily like overworking, but they experienced grief. And so now they are ⁓ almost like

figuring out who they are now through this grief and they can't go back to who they were. So it could be for both reasons. ⁓ But how long it lasts is it lasts as long as you resist it. It lasts as long as you resist doing things differently and working with the capacity that you have now. So if you keep waiting to be like, I'm just trying to get back to where you have a good week or you have a good day and then you ask yourself to do way too much on those days because you feel good, you just keep starting it over almost like.

if you were ripping a bandaid off before the wound had healed. So it lasts as long as you resist it and as long as you resist doing things differently and working with the capacity you have. It lasts as long as you shame yourself. Okay. And shaming can look like comparison because comparison is just a very, it's shame with like a neat little jacket. You know what I mean? So comparing yourself to past versions of you. It lasts as long as you keep it to yourself. So if you are

talking pleasantries, if you're just trying to like be like, yeah, but you know, it's fine. And like not really letting people know like, you know what, like, I'm not okay. I don't feel like my normal self. Or if you're going in, you're getting coached and you're getting coached on your actions, but you're not actually being coached on like, why do I feel like a different person? Like I just can't get myself to do this. Or you need the support. ⁓ You need a certain type of different support in the season and you're not getting it, right? So it lasts as long as you keep it to yourself. And

Here's some questions to ask yourself, like if you're here, what if D plus is my new capacity? It won't be spoiler, but what if D plus is my capacity? Another question is what if it takes three times as long as I think it will take? It won't. But what if it does? That kind of gets you out of the, my gosh, I feel good today. Like, let me hurry up and rush it. Or like when the hell like you're you're you can't just like wait necessarily either. Like you kind of have to figure out another way of being in the meantime. So what if it takes three times longer?

And what if there's no going back to who I was because who I was was not sustainable for where I'm going. Who I was was not supposed to come with me, right? And I want to say that I had to have this conversation with myself and I have talked to some of my clients about this and it's a very, very delicate subject. And I feel like the only reason I'm able to talk to them about it is because I've been there in my own different way. But I...

What I have told them and what I've told myself about when you're here sometimes is when you think back about hard times that you've had ⁓ in the past, sometimes you recognize like why that season had to happen in order for you to become the person that you became. And even though at the time it really sucked, you understand why, because we don't become a different version of ourselves or evolve when things are working well. We only do that when we're forced to because something isn't working or we can't revert to patterns.

of behavior or thoughts that we used to have. Right? So a question that has come up for me when I've been coaching myself through this, or even when I've been coaching my clients is, how else was the universe supposed to give you what you asked for? Sometimes what you're doing is you've been working so hard, you are growing your business, you're showing up, you're sitting in discomfort to grow this business, right?

And sometimes what happens is we're calling in and we're saying, this is the life that I want. This is how I want my life to be. And guess what? In order for you to have that, there's a hell of a lot of things you're doing right now that ain't supposed to come with you. So when it happens that you all of a sudden can't be who you were because you're hitting this limit of identity, of like this identity is supposed to leave and you're developing a new identity or becoming a new person, it isn't always going to be cute. It's typically not going to be cute, but...

What if this is actually an answer to a prayer or a manifestation? Because you have been declaring it, journaling about it, envisioning it, taking the steps, taking the bold action. And in that process, parts of you are going to have to fall away. Okay? And sometimes the package sucks. The package of your delivery of what you've been working hard for sucks in the moment.

But I promise you in so many ways, especially when you're just like, can't go back to how was. There's a version of you who's like, don't want, I actually don't want that. I'm trying to figure out a new way forward. Right. You have to become a different person. That is essentially what it is. I've realized that recently where I was just like, you know, there's just certain things that I'm telling myself about.

that I've said it in the past, I'm not like, my life is so hard because I'm a single parent. My life is so expensive. It's so much easier for other people and like all these things. And like, my God, there's always something going on. And like why it's so hard for me to run my business and why it's so hard for me to launch. And I just was like, you know, ⁓ something's happening in my life right now that I'm not talking about publicly, but this thing that's happening in my life that I can't do anything about that's just there and I have to deal with, right? As I'm going into a launch season, I was just like, ⁓ the universe is showing me there's not, I cannot possibly run my business thinking.

that I need to have ideal circumstances in order to market and sell. Like I can't. That's not sustainable. You have to become a different person now, Mariela. You have to become a person who can handle those things and not shove your feelings in a box. But what would it look like for me to go through hard things in my life? What would it look like for me to feel slightly burnt out or having a difficult time accessing my creativity and launch and serve my clients and do the best job that I can? Right. So sometimes we have been fighting for a version of us that we've been.

more than we've been fighting for who are becoming. And sometimes that's what it is, is you're in a season where like you're not supposed to go back. Right? So what to do. So what to do from here. Like I said, I'm going to have a workshop on October 1st, where I'm going to go into more of this into detail on how I like deconstructed my business to identify what I needed to focus on. If I had 25 % capacity, ⁓ it's how I was able to have a six figure launch in March while I was on the tail end of my burnout, but I was still very much in it. It's how

⁓ I, I, the beginning of like my two and a half year booked out streak with private coaching when I was doing mostly private coaching began when I was in a season of deep grief, right? And like releasing an old identity. was a season where I went from like seven to 10 K months to consistent 20 K months and like maintained that for years. ⁓ it was because I was in a season of where I had to let go of like a

very powerless identity, I would say, right? So there's a lot of what is your, this is happening for you and it's showing you. And again, I don't want to say it's happening for you in a dismissive way or in a way that doesn't honor like the emotions that are coming up and bad. It's not that the bad thing happened. say if you went through grief for you, it's not that it's more that like sometimes we're being shown something about us in a way of being that like we

aren't supposed to bring with us and we're just supposed to show ourselves tremendous compassion and grace. This is a season for shedding shame and self criticism and judgment and having patience with ourselves, right? As we become this new version of us that we're supposed to become, right? So questions to ask yourself if you are here, like from a practical perspective, these are kind of like business related questions. If you genuinely are asking yourself, how do I actually do business right now in this season of recovering from burnout of grief?

of reduced capacity, of D plus capacity, right? Like how do I actually do business? How do I keep making money? If I genuinely have a hard time getting out of bed some days, if I have a hard time showing my face sometimes, like I got you, have bit y'all, I have been there, right? I feel like throughout my business, I've felt like not good more often than I felt good. And you would never think that from the outside looking in, but like, because my business has been such a catalyst for my healing,

I asked for this, like I signed up for this. I knew that my business was going to be a vehicle for my healing and therefore I've had to figure out how to do that without like cutting out all of my profits, right? So sometimes you'll hear people being like, you know, like I burnt out for my business and now I make less money and I'm so much happier. And I'm like, yeah, you know, I don't resonate with that. I need to make money. Like we don't I don't have a husband that's going to pay my bills. I don't have like income from somewhere else. Like we still got to make money. OK.

So this is, if there's anything you know for me, talking to me and working with me, I still very much live in the real world of like, we need to make money though. We need to make money. So this isn't going to be like honor yourself, slow down, like let yourself, yes, it may affect your income. It may, right? It may. But we're going to have to look at like, okay, what, what are you actually in danger? Like what are your options here? Right? So number one question, ask yourself, if you are thinking about moving forward with a fraction of your capacity is who...

have been my most ideal valuable clients. The ones that refer people, the ones who work with you multiple times, the ones who are your best success stories, what makes them ideal? And then I want you to envision those clients in your front row when you are creating content and I want you to speak to them. Like what did they say in their applications? What are they saying like in your, you in you working with them? Like...

What is it that made them successful and I want you to envision them in the front row because oftentimes in these seasons what we're doing is like because our energy feels split it's like I actually want you to think about your best people because Those are gonna be the ones like I said that are probably the easiest Yeses are gonna be the ones that bring in other people so like I literally did this in my own messaging where I had to realize like I need to elevate who I'm speaking to so that I can actually call in the person that's the most ideal who you know for my offers

The second thing is what vehicles feel the most sustainable for you right now marketing wise and how can you drive your audience to those channels? So to give you an example, when I was going through the thick of it, I couldn't, I found it harder to show up on channels that made me money. For me, it was Instagram stories. I barely ever posted to my feed. For most years, I posted like three or four times a month to my Instagram feed and I didn't market in other channels.

But I used to for years was able to show up on Instagram stories. I loved being on there. Everybody joked that they always knew what I was doing because I would post everything to stories. Granted, it was the pandemic. I was lonely. I was raising a child by myself in Oregon without like family there. And so, yeah, I was on stories all the time. That's how I made money. But when I was in burnout, I literally like I felt like freeze and I couldn't do it. So then I had to then start shifting my audience over to my podcast and my email list. Right. So that might look different for you ⁓ versus Instagram.

Stories where you're doing all this work and it expires in 24 hours. So I started to think if I'm going to do all this work, how could it be evergreen? If I'm going to sit down and talk in stories, how can I maybe record a podcast episode instead? And then we purpose the podcast episode to my feed. It's better impact. It's going to have better reach. People are going to be able to see it far after I ever post it. So I started to be like, what business models, what business model changes is my burnout showing me that I need to make. What marketing changes is my burnout showing me that I need to make. Okay. So.

If you look at it from this lens of what is the burnout season or grief season showing you about what's unsustainable about the way you market? What's unsustainable about your business model? What's unsustainable about your relationship to your business? It will start to show you where this is happening for you and what what it is trying to tell you Okay, so that's another question was what vehicles feel more sustainable for you and how can you drive audiences to those channels? ⁓ Others because this has happened with my clients. They realize there's offers

that feel unsustainable. ⁓ example, one of my clients had a low ticket, a very low ticket group offer, and there was just a lot of upfront work with launching. They eventually launched a membership, and then the membership also requires audience growth, and it requires constant launching because it's a volume offer. But this person also had a high ticket.

High-trust brand meaning there were people who were like take my money, right? Like you are my gosh, like starstruck by this person wanted to work with them They had this established brand They are now they now retired those offers and are now selling the high ticket offers Which works so much better for their season of life where they are right now. So the the season of grief or burnout showed this person what they needed to do and that's what we worked on together of

If this is how you were making money before, but what is that going to require of you in terms of your marketing? What's it going to require of you in the way that you do business? And do you want to do business that way? How are you going to have to do business to support this membership, to support this group program versus if you have a high ticket, high trust relationship with your audience and you could make, you know, six figures, multiple six figures, not even having to launch, let's just do that. Right. And that all just depended on this person's season of life.

Where what used to feel good what they used to love they no longer like they're in a different season of life, right? And that is absolutely okay, but the hard season is what Made us both sit with those hard questions and like work this out together, right? So just to give you an example Another question to ask yourself in this season is how can you get more support in your capacity versus your actions? I think sometimes we want to get supported or coached or whatever in like how can I get myself to do this and fix this but what you actually need is support for

your capacity and how you're feeling. So this might mean if you weren't working with a therapist, it's time to work with a therapist. If you really weren't getting movement in and it wasn't part of your life, like now it's an essential part of your life. Time in nature, time with loved ones, things that you're doing outside of business that have nothing to do with business, like hobbies, time off, like trying to take weekends off, like treat that like your job. It may mean that in this season you have to treat it like your job to take care of yourself and love on yourself.

and take care of your body and your nervous system, right? So that's how can you get supported more in your capacity versus your actions and treat that like your job, treat it as seriously as you have been treating your business, okay? Another thing you can do, this is less a question and more of a thing that my clients have done. They've literally landed clients immediately. Like we were still on the reclamation coaching call and they're like, got it. It happened was go back to your old clients and make them a custom offer.

If you are here and you're just like really going through it, your old clients, they're like thinking about you. You know what I'm saying? Like they still want to work with you. But sometimes they're just like, well, I don't know if I need another, like they don't need the same offer. They just may need a refresher. They just may need a refresher that's for them with someone who they know, someone who they trust and something that doesn't require them to repeat what they did before, but maybe an offer that is more limited, but more custom to where they are. And they don't need to start over with someone else. So

Go back to your old clients, make them a custom offer and share, know, like where, like what you saw in them when you were working together, like what it might look like, you know, in terms of working together. Or you may just go and say like, hey, let's just do a check-in. I just kind of want to see how you're doing, ⁓ whatever that is, but go back to old clients and make them a custom offer. I have literally coached people on this and like by the end of the call, they've already landed clients. And then the next day they're like, yep, I got three more. I got three more clients, past clients. So those are things that you could do in periods of time where you are.

really going through it and just having a hard time and you're trying to figure out what's next. ⁓ So I hope all this was helpful. I'm going to repeat this. Questions to ask yourself, who have been my most valuable, ideal clients and what made them ideal and what did they say in their applications and calls? All of that. What is it about them and how can you envision them in the front row when you're creating content and marketing and making decisions? Another question, what vehicles feel most sustainable for you right now and how can you drive your audience to those channels?

Third question is how can you be supported in your capacity versus your actions? Because taking care of the capacity will naturally take care of the actions. And then in terms of some things to try, go back to old clients and make them a custom offer. It generally is something that you can do fairly quickly. You don't have to reinvent the wheel. And also I would say, what if you worked with where you are? Depending on what your brand is,

This is why I am a person who advocates and helps my clients with ⁓ identity-based marketing, like making who you are part of your offer, you're integrating your story into your service, integrating your identity and making your identity your biggest competitive advantage. Why? Because during seasons like this, you don't feel like you have to shift who you are from what you're doing. actually, it's not to say, don't go show up and tell people what you're going through. You don't necessarily need to do that, but.

If you have integrated your identity into your service, your thought leadership, your story, and people are following you and want to work with you, not just because of what you do, but who you are and who you are is integrated into what you do. And people know they can't get this anywhere else. You actually can show up and maybe even share the lessons you're sitting in right now that you're working through right now. You can say that you're working through them, but you don't have to. Sometimes those are the easiest things to come out of your body because you don't feel like you need to perform. And this is why

identity-based business, a thought leadership-based business, a story that's really based on you and who you are, not just what you do. It's the payoff during seasons like this, where you actually can bring these things to the forefront, right? I'm doing it right now. I'm going through something in my life right now. My clients know, my friends know, but other people don't. And I'm working with it by being like, where is it that I'm going through an iteration of something that I went through?

four years ago that my clients are also going through now that's basically growing pains. It's just growing pains, that's all it is. And the growing pains are showing you something needs to change. You need to change. You are ready to step into another identity. There's some things you need to leave behind. So I'm personally going through my own season of this, but I'm not afraid because I've been here before. Okay? And what's on the other side is so amazing. this is where

A ceiling is being lifted, right? A ceiling is being lifted. Sometimes this is a big financial ceiling, it was for me. Sometimes it's a big ceiling in your safety where you finally feel like, know that I'm going to be okay. Maybe this is a ceiling in terms of being able to handle things without, you know, spinning out the way that you used to. All those things, there's a ceiling being lifted, okay? So I'm going to be sharing more, like I said, in my workshop,

join me there because we're going to talk more about this and like what this actually looks like. so that you can break past the place that you're in right now, continue to make money.

but also figure out what is the of life telling you and all of the different kind of survival mode patterns that we are in in business where we were relying on a hustly mind over matter version of us and that version of us is not supposed to come with us. But really like what this looks like practically and what you actually can do to not just move through this season, but also make a lot of money on the other side of it. Okay, because

At the end of the day, I don't want you to just feel good in your business. I also want you to continue to profit and thrive and grow in a way that feels good to you and aligned with you. ⁓ but that you don't have to choose between feeling peaceful in your life and profiting, right? Because you don't have to, you just have to learn how to work with the season that you're in. And that's what I'll be talking about in the workshop on October 1st,

And I want you to know that the reason that I'm sharing this is because I'm seeing that we hit these upper limits and we just need a little bit of extra love and care to get through those those upper limits. I want more women of color to scale past just enough, just enough and go into making more money than they ever thought they could make.

feeling sustainable, profitable, to blow past anything that they ever thought that they could have made in the workforce, anything that they thought they could have made in their business. But in order to do that, we have to learn how to step into the identity that the season is requiring of us. If you're watching, my daughter just joined me in the room. And once this eventually goes on YouTube, everyone's going to see her do her cameo. It is a Saturday. I did not record this podcast yesterday how I was supposed to because life happened, but we're working with it.

Hi baby. You can see yourself?

Okay, we're gonna say bye to this to everybody. Okay. Anyone watching this right now? No, they're not I'm recording it. Okay. I love you. All right. I was about to say I love y'all. do love y'all and I will see you in the next episode and I will see you at the workshop on October 1st. Register in the ⁓ link in the show notes. All right. Bye y'all.

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