Not everything that got you here is meant to go where you're going. Kimberly Rash opens up about one of the most painful parts of personal growth: letting go of people you love when those relationships no longer pour life into you. Drawing from her own experience of grieving a long-term friendship, she walks through the guilt, the grief, and the slow but powerful process of releasing what no longer serves you so you can rise into the next version of yourself.

Growth requires release, and making space for the right people starts with knowing your own worth.

RTR Episode 007

Kimberly Rash

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And that doesn't make us bad people. It doesn't make you selfish. It doesn't mean you don't care. It just means you're growing, and not everything is meant to grow with you. There are certain seasons in our lives that other people are just not supposed to be with us on parts of our journey, and letting go of those people means that they were a part that got you to where you are, but it doesn't mean they get to participate in where you're going.

So we're gonna talk a little about that today. And I think that We all just feel this shame when it comes to letting go of people in our lives, especially if it's a long-term friend or a long-term relationship, something that's been in our lives that is our norm for 20, 30, 40 years, maybe even 10 years.

Doesn't matter, whatever long is to you. it's scary, right? Because in those types of relationships you become dependent on each other to a certain degree, and I think when you no longer have that person, you're forced to create new ways of getting support, new ways of getting encouragement.

They cause more harm than good. And that doesn't mean that they did that intentionally all the time. They probably poured from the space that they were in. So, you know, some people are just negative because they can't get out of their own way. They are negative because they haven't tried to be reflective on their own personality and what they actually offer to other people, you know?

And it does not mean you have to let it go forever, but for this season, maybe you do. And maybe having you leave their life or having you move on without them, and they see that you're blossoming and you're growing and you're glowing, will encourage them to really start being reflective and taking the steps to find joy in their own lives.

'Cause I'm pretty sure most people who are pessimistic or who always have just, I don't know, just nothing nice to say, and it's always just kind of bleh, I'm pretty sure they're not coming from an overflow of joy or an overflow of happiness in their own lives, right? So I don't know. I, I just think that I've held onto relationships and friendships that definitely did not serve me over a longer span of time.

Well, you know what? When you're not in rooms with them, they talk crap about you. Or when you're not here, like, there's really not much encouraging things being said if other people... They're not defending you, you know? And you want... What is that saying? you wanna be in a room where, if people are talking about you, I don't know, they're clapping for you behind your back and not talking smack about you behind your back.

There's a love. There will always be a love. I will love this person for the rest of my life, but at the end of the day People would say stuff to me like, "Why does she always pick you apart the minute you walk in a room?" I walk in thinking I look like a million bucks and I'm like, "Ooh, good hair day.

Girl, you got this." And I walk in a room and it's all like, "Oh, your ba- your bangs don't look good today." Or, "Oh, how many zits do you have today?" Or, "That color just kind of drains, you that color on you is not good. It just makes you look, like, draining." Or, "Oh, did you gain five pounds?" like literally these weird, crazy critiques.

She did love me. it was just weird. It was just weird, and it was not good. I feel like some of it was one-way. I poured into this person. They poured into me. I made this person more of a part of my active life.was invited to,weddings and birthdays and cookouts and parties and these things, and of my children.

And reflectively, I look back and I'm like, "I actually never went to any of her kids' birthday parties." I actually never was invited. "I never went to any of their weddings." if you're my best friend, it would almost be natural that I would be at your weddings, like your kids' weddings.

And I get it. big families, you can only pick so many people. I get it. We have a huge family too. But for my son's wedding, I made sure my best friend was there. there was no... When they asked me who I definitely had to have there, my best friend had to be there. it's just, it's kind of one way.

I grieved it. I grieved it hard, like belly cried, heart cried. It broke my heart. And actually even, talking about it right now, like, my eyes are still welling up. Am I 100% healed from it? Obviously not. But every day I'm one step closer to being healed, and that's okay. For me, I feel like when you are healed from something, you can talk about that in retrospect, like a chapter of your life.

There's no more emotional, charge to it, right? So there's so many things I'll talk to you about on this podcast that 100% you're gonna be like, "What?" "How is she not even, like crying or being angry or having a moment right now?" it's because I have healed from a lot of things, and I retrospectively can look at it almost like in third person.

that just is what it is. And again, someday this relationship, this friendship, I'll be able to look at on the fond parts and... like I do now, and I laugh, and the parts that are sad and the parts that were hard, eventually those emotions will be gone once I finish forgiving myself for the parts. Listen, I'm growing with all of you,

I got great advice on how to do it, and I'm doing it myself. I'm doing the work with you. So, I think we just have to be able to be okay with letting go. We let go. We make space, because not everything is meant to stay. And growth requires release. If we kept stuffing up all the things that, we're supposed to be letting go, I just picture it as, being like a balloon guy.

It's gonna mean long-term colleagues. It's gonna be all those people. But you can love something and still let it go. You can love something and still hold a place for it in your heart And also not feel guilty about not letting them back in because they... Unless they change, like truly change. But keep your boundaries high until you see full fruit of that, right?

guilt is gonna be the first thing that you're gonna feel, and then I want you to just sit there and root in who you are and say, "I am a good person. I am a good person because of this, and this." What are the things that make you valuable in a relationship, in a friendship?

Do you love? Do you forgive? Do you forgive and not keep reminding them of what they did?

All those things. Root in those. These are the reasons why I'm strong. this is what I bring. This is the value of who I am in a relationship. you need to release the things that are going in your head being like, "If I was better to them this way," or, "If I was a better this or a better that. maybe I didn't show up enough.

And it's okay You have to know who you are. And then we're gonna rise. We're gonna rise right into the phase of ourselves, the next version of ourselves. You're just gonna rise up and say, " I am worthy of having relationships that meet me in the middle. Partnerships, people who pour into me, people who uplift me and I uplift them."

People who show up for me and I show up for them

And that's the truth. The greatest of these things is love

that's pretty much it. You're not losing everything. You're making space for what's meant for you now you are not stuck. You are becoming. Thanks for joining me today, and I'll see you in the next episode