110. The 5 Non-Negotiables Every School Counselor Needs to Thrive

Carol: You're listening to the Counselor Chat podcast, a show for school counselors looking for easy to implement strategies, how to tips, collaboration, and a little spark of joy. I'm Carol Miller, your host.

I'm a full time school counselor and the face behind counseling essentials. I'm all about creating simplified systems, data driven practices, and using creative approaches to engage students. If you're looking for a little inspiration to help you make a big impact on student growth and success, you're in the right place.

Because we're better together. Ready to chat. Let's dive in.

Carol: Hey there, counselors. Welcome back to Counselor Chat. I'm your host, Carol Miller, and I am so excited you're here with me today. Today's episode, well, it's a bit of a pep talk and perhaps a little bit of a blueprint too, because we're talking about the five non negotiables every school counselor needs if they want to not just survive this work,

but actually thrive in it. Because let's be real. Counseling without a strong foundation is like trying to hold a beach umbrella during a hurricane. Pretty soon you're flying, the umbrellas flying and the kids are flying.

It's chaos.

So what are these five must haves? Let's dive right in.

Now, the first non negotiable is that strong relationships, they come first.

Because if we're not building real trusting relationships with students, with staff and families, we're not doing counseling. Relationships are the job and not the paperwork, not the calendar invites, not the laminated data walls, it's the daily check ins, the hey, how are you really doing?

It's those moments,

the doors we leave open,

that matter most.

And if you're ever, ever wondering where to spend your energy when you're pulled in a million directions,

start with relationships. Always.

And I know you're saying, carol, I already know that relationships are important.

But here's the thing. I keep going back to those Facebook groups and the thing that I see over and over again is not really the relationships with students that you're struggling with, but it's the relationships with your administration, with the families,

with the teaching staff.

But we have to do it all. We have to have those relationships with anyone who might walk through our door or who we're going to encounter in the hallway or in the main office or on the sidewalk outside of school.

It's all of these relationships that matter. Because we are not islands off in the ocean on our own.

We are a community and we have to work together.

So if your relationship is damaged,

you have to try to figure out a way to repair it.

One of the things that I've been working on with kids over the last couple weeks, you know, they are just. Their behaviors are just ramping up. You can tell it's the end of the year.

They are doing things that are making their teachers so upset.

Like, we had one little buddy throw an eraser in the classroom while the teacher's back was turned. And of course, it hit the teacher. We had another kid that when a substitute was in there, decided to pants one of his friends.

But we have to have these relationships, not only with the kids, but we have to cultivate these relationships with everyone.

Because if the relationships are damaged, we have to be able to fix them. And that's just more than sometimes. I'm sorry. But we have to really figure out how to make them stronger.

Because when our relationships are strong,

we can tackle a lot of problems. And we need these people, this, the staff, families, the admin,

to do our best jobs.

And if you're struggling with some teachers in your own building, I really want you to think about what's wrong in those relationships and how they can be repaired.

And when somebody walks through your door, it doesn't matter who they are or what other 10 things that you have going on or the other things that are floating around in your mind.

Because if your mind is like mine, it is like being in a pool where you're trying to make like the whirlpool and the water splashing over the edges. That's what my mind looks like on a daily basis.

So if yours is like mine, there's probably a little ADHD going on in there. You have to find ways to settle it. But you have to be able to calm the waters in your mind,

in your body, and focus on the person who's standing right in front of you. And I know on the podcast, I've talked about this a lot,

but that person standing right there,

they're the ones who need your attention. They're the ones that need your focus.

And when you can do that, you're really doing great. School counseling.

Besides relationship non negotiable number two. Boundaries, my friend, are a must.

And now is a full sentence.

Listen, you can't save the world if you're drowning. You need to have professional boundaries. Boundaries about your time, your role, and your emotional energy.

You have to remember, you are not the default substitute. You are not the unofficial event planner. You are a school counselor.

Protect your time for the work that truly matters. Your students will thank you and honestly Your future self will too. And I know that it can be really hard if you're in a building and you your struggle for living, breathing bodies to go in and be substitutes.

But you have to be able to say to your men, your admin, listen, when I am pulled to do that, I can't get to X, Y and Z. Who are you going to call in to cover those duties?

And sometimes you have to be really clear about that because you are giving something up. And yeah, I'm all about being a team player. I have pinched hit a lot of times and have even sometimes volunteer to be the sub at the last minute.

But it's not a daily occurrence and I could probably count on one hand the number of times that it's happened. But we have to protect our time for what truly matters.

Non negotiable Number three Data isn't just for admin.

I know, I know. The word data is starting to make your eye twitch. But good data, it helps you tell the story of your impact.

You want to track your small groups, your lessons, your referrals, not because someone's breathing down your neck, but because you deserve to see the incredible difference you're making.

And you deserve to advocate for what you and your students need.

Think of data like a superhero cape. It might not be flashy, but it's got a lot of power.

And once again, that data can really help with non negotiable number two and those boundaries.

All right, non negotiable number four, Continuing to learn is non negotiable. The world, it just doesn't stand still. And honestly, neither should we. Our kids are facing new challenges, new technologies, and new mental health realities every year.

And continuing your professional growth, that isn't a luxury, my friends. It's essential. And whether it's reading a book, attending a webinar, or finding a conference that feeds your counselor soul, you must keep learning.

And speaking of that, if you're looking for a really inspiring, practical, and flexible way to get fresh ideas for your counseling program,

want you to invite you to the: 2025

Now, registration officially opens May 15th. And so, trust me, you'll really want to grab your spot early.

This conference is completely virtual. It's packed with sessions you can watch on your own schedule, and it's all designed with your real counseling life in mind.

We have this year two amazing keynotes, and we have 40 presenters. The great thing is, you can even earn graduate credit for this. Because, let's face it, graduate credit is what can help move you up on the salary scale.

And when you move up on the salary scale and you're making a little bit more money, you're going to feel really great about that.

So no pressure about joining, but I really wanted to share with you that this summer counselor conference is awesome. And if you're not going to ask a, this is probably the next best thing.

It's cheap, it's virtual, it's on demand. We have lots of amazing things planned, fun giveaways, ways to really connect with other counselors because we have all these zoom calls and virtual meetings.

So come on. And like I said, there's no pressure. I just want to make sure you're looking to.

If you're looking to find something to fill your toolbox, this is it. All right, mini commercial over. My friends, let's get back to our list. The number 5 non negotiable is advocating for yourself and your program.

And that isn't optional. You can't assume people know what you do or how much you're doing unless you tell them. You have to be your own best advocate. You have to share your successes.

You have to highlight your programs.

You can say, hey, did you know our small group decreased office referrals by 40%? Or our classroom lessons help students learn three new coping skills they can now use independently.

You're not bragging, you're informing. And you're paving the way for more respect, more resources, and more impact.

And that's what we want to do. We really want to celebrate these wins.

And my friends, we have to be able to share them because everyone in the school,

no matter who they are, they are having these little wins. But we never know unless we share them with one another. And it's important to do so because when we share all the wins together, you really can be amazed by the amazing work that was done over the past year.

All right, counselors,

let's recap a little bit. Here are the five non negotiables. One more time, build strong relationships,

set boundaries,

use your data,

keep learning and advocate for yourself and your program.

The five non negotiables that will keep you grounded, energized, and ready to make the difference you are meant to make. And my friends, you've got this. And just by showing up here today, investing in yourself, you're already ahead of the game.

Until next time, my friends, take care of yourself, take care of each other, and I hope you have a great week. Bye for now.

Carol: Thanks for listening to today's episode of Counselor Chat. All of the links I talked about can be found in the show notes and at counselingessentials.org podcast. Be sure to hit follow or subscribe on your favorite podcast player, and if you would be so kind to leave.

Carol: A review, I'd really appreciate it.

Carol: Want to connect? Send me a DM on Facebook or Instagram at Counseling Essentials until next time. Can't wait till we chat.

Carol: Bye for now.

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