The Queens battle it out in a Valentine’s themed VERSES EPISODE, this week, rating and reviewing both a 5 Star and a 1 Star Trustpilot Review for Sandals Resorts! Chelsey sings the blues, Terry has a huge correction, and the Queens change their names to Nate. Are you gay?

(01:33) Lodge a Complaint!

(13:29) Sandals Resorts

(18:57) 1 Star Review

(41:50) Exclusive Offer

(43:03) Sweethearts or Sourstarts?

(51:33) 5 Star Review

(01:09:19) My Royal Highness

(01:13:00) DO - NATE!

(01:13:52) On This Week's After Show Pod

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Review That Review is an independent podcast.  Executive Produced by Trey Gerrald and Chelsey Donn with editing and sound design by Trey Gerrald.  Cover art designed by LogoVora, voiceover talents by Eva Kaminsky, and our theme song was written by Joe Kinosian and sung by Natalie Weiss.

Everybody's got A', Every, Californian, and Virginian and Virginian.

so hard to tell who to trust and who to ignore.

Someone's gotta settle the score..

Trey ChelseyBD will you?

Which ones 'I Hate?

A' Baby,.

it's time to Review.

That Review!.

Hello,

Well, hi there and hello listeners.

Welcome once again to Review That Review.

The podcast that is dedicated to reviewing

reviews we're just like Cisco and Ebert only.

Instead of reviewing cinematic masterpieces, we rate and review those hilarious, scathing,

that is Chelsey Donn.

and that is Trey Gerrald.

But when we come together, we form

The Review Queen.

Cheerio to all of our members over on Patreon.

For more information, go to Review That Review dot com slash Patreon.

If you wanna support in an additional way, visit Review That Review dot com slash donate.

ChelseyBD.

Happy Valentine's Day.

Just A' few

A'.

Yes.

Thank you.

Happy Valentine's Day to you too.

All right, girl, let's get into it.

Give us the update.

'I am sick again.

I've been sick all A' year.

'I like came into the new year with A' cold from last year, and then 'I got Covid 'I.

'I mean.

This is clearly the Complaint because what other Complaint is there When you're sick?

A' Complaint.

'I mean 'I.

Guess there's gratitude for when you're not sick and how easy you know life is

To get Covid.

'I still in 2023 is wild.

Um, being vaccinated and boosted and all that to still be completely knocked out is crazy.

'I mean Covid.

'I girl 'I.

Don't know if this is gonna ever go away.

My sister said that 'I don't know if this is true or if this is just A' her thing, but

So like this is just life now.

'I guess we get the flu, we get Covid.

'I.

'I 'I.

Have you ever had the flu before?

I've definitely had the flu before.

I've been sick.

'I really feel like I've been sick since like November.

It's wild.

'I just keep getting 'I.

Think my immune system is down.

So 'I keep catching everything.

So hopefully I'm done now.

You know, really front loaded the sickness.

Right.

The rest of your 2023 should just be

God willing, please poo poo.

Yes.

Let this, let this be the worst of it.

Happy to be recording with you today.

This is like the first normal thing that I've done in over A' Week outta bed.

And here we

wondering if you would be sitting in bed or not.

Well, 'I have my whole podcast.

You know, queenly set up here.

So 'I couldn't do it from bed, but if 'I could, 'I probably would, honestly.

But here we are.

And just so all the listeners know, I'm not A' Drill, Sergeant Taskmaster.

'I wanted to do this.

This is me.

'I did this to myself.

But no 'I.

'I.

Mean.

'I.

Thought this was A'.

Good way to sort of kickstart my way back into reality.

And 'I like doing this.

And 'I was sick of being in bed and watching every single episode of Undercover

Oh, 'I.

Love it too.

love.

I'm happy to be here.

Always recording with you.

Trey, how was your week?

Yeah, 'I mean I've had A' really good week.

You know, knock on wood over

Good.

It's funny because 'I have been sort of nesting in my drag room,

Okay.

basically what 'I did is 'I was, I've talked about this on the show,

you were teasing.

Well, you were teasing something that's coming up that you were

that's right.

Yes.

But 'I was saying how 'I 'I was organizing and 'I needed to like really set up my space

And so, well, 'I started doing that and 'I like reset up the room, and

'I should like really decorate in here.

So 'I went to Target, and 'I bought this like peel and stick wallpaper

you did.

it.

And then 'I ran out of wallpaper.

no.

How, how, how far along

Well, the good thing like 'I was like 'I was really

It seems

and are you doing an accent wall or are you doing the whole

it's an accent wall, but of course it has like A' bunch of line work.

So you have to be A' little specific, you know, it's not like it's not textured or one color.

It does have A' design on it.

you're so brave.

Well, 'I didn't really think about it, but 'I was like, you know what?

I'm just gonna do this one wall that's like behind the makeup mirror,

So 'I was like, I'm gonna follow these directions to the T.

And so 'I, and it says you have to like roll it out.

You have to measure, you have to like cut it before you start doing it.

'I, don't 'I to like have A' friend, like don't do it on your own.

So 'I didn't listen to that direction, but 'I did precut it.

So before 'I even started, 'I knew that 'I would be short, but 'I was like, you know what,

And this is done in lots.

They like print it in lot numbers.

Oh no.

So the die lot.

Yes.

The die

Oh no.

But when 'I went to Target, they only had two rolls.

So 'I was like, well, whatever.

That's it.

So then, okay, so basically I'm doing this wall that has the door into the

So of course 'I know 'I was like, oh, this might actually be perfect, but it's

right?

Of course.

Of course.

So that's annoying.

But so, and then there's like, so there's like, you know, A' little bit more than one roll space,

So 'I got there, and then 'I literally had like enough to do like the space between the top of

So 'I literally just like stopped.

So it's kind of like an upside down L of wallpaper.

how does it look?

looks fine, but 'I did just get back from Target now because

Like do 'I have to go to A'?

Random Target in new?

Like do 'I have to source this?

How do 'I find it?

And it said that there were two more roles at Target and 'I was like, 'I know that

Oh, okay.

So I'll be doing that as we move on.

'I had no intention of sharing this, but that's really what I've been up to cuz it's fun.

'I feel like I'm nesting

So David had no interest in being your plus one on this venture.

well.

Oh, good question.

So David's in QS right now, so he wasn't even here.

So 'I just have my two puppies staring at me.

Like oddly enough my Complaint is not running out of wallpaper, which

But, all right, so my actual Complaint, this has happened to me many times in my life.

I'm not A' hundred percent sure that 'I haven't already done this, but it happened to me again.

So 'I have to Lodge A, Complaint against being called Terry.

Terry,

Have 'I ever done this before?

no

Okay.

wait.

People call you Terry instead of Trey.

Yes.

so they are they 'I.

Guess if you're A' dyslexic.

'I.

Guess if you're A' dyslexic.

'I.

Don't know.

'I have A' nephew named Trey also.

So to me, 'I would never think Terry Trey, but 'I.

Guess if you're A', dyslexic,

So 'I don't know what it's what it is.

But this has happened to me multiple times in my life and it has become something that 'I always

Cause 'I guess we had more people in our cast.

So all of my costumes were like from like some random shop in Maine, so like didn't

And you know, like when you do A' show, they label every single piece of article

And then like my makeup station, they like printed out my name.

You know, it's like the shoes, like everything had my name on it, the

Was it T e r y?

No, they're just saying Terry.

T e r r

So 'I started to think recently when it just happened again in an email correspondence.

'I was like, maybe people are seeing Trey.

Gerrald, cuz Gerrald has two Rs.

And somehow, cuz people always say Gerard, no one ever gets Gerrald, right?

Ever,

So there are like the two R's applied to the first

Like maybe they're seeing the two Rs of Gerrald and they're then

So then they say, Terry 'I don't know how you confuse Trey for Terry.

Like, it's really weird.

They're adding an extra letter like no one, does anyone ever call you Chauncey

'I was gonna say this whole time, 'I was like, how does that happen?

But people have called me ChelseyBD, which became A' thing at camp.

They were, they wrote ChelseyBD instead of ChelseyBD, and that became

It was A' whole situation.

So 'I 'I mean people do pronounce my name or spell my name wrong, obviously all the time.

But it does seem like Trey Terry.

It doesn't really seem

No, it's like it's really not.

So, okay.

And then this is A' little like A' jump off, which 'I probably should say for another Complaint,

Ty and 'I haven't corrected them, but they always say my name whenever 'I see them, they're

And you don't wear name tags

we don't wear name tags.

'I haven't corrected her and like no one else has corrected her.

So now 'I just answered to Ty.

So that's my name.

Now it's Ty

stop.

'I had A' boss once that her name was Romi, r o m, 'I.

And 'I kept saying Romi.

And 'I was like her assistant and 'I was in her office.

And I'd be like, 'I making an appointment for Romi Blank.

And 'I did it like over and over again, and it took her like A' week

And 'I was just like, why?

Tell me right away.

'I wanna know right away.

Especially if I'm like calling on behalf of you.

Like, tell me what your name is.

So 'I don't know Trey.

'I think you gotta tell

'I know the

girl that your name is Trey because no matter, like the longer

Well, the thing about Terry, especially when it's in an email correspondence,

Sure.

it's like you are seeing that it's Trey.

Well that's how 'I feel when people spell my name with an A' at the end,

So like people spell my name incorrectly all the time.

People are just, they're not thinking about it, you know?

I've never in my life 'I, remember this happen on the podcast like after like 15

You've never seen anyone spell it Ey and not ea,

No.

'I always see like C S E.

A'.

ChelseyBD.

Yeah.

It's definitely the more common way, but like also, it's not so crazy.

Right.

No, and you can see that it's ChelseyBD also, you can see it's Ray Okay.

Anyway, 'I, I've run it into the ground.

That's my

my God.

'I.

Hear ya.

It's annoying.

It's A'.

It's it's Complaint.

Lodge worthy added to the ledger.

Yeah, for sure.

Yeah.

All right.

Well 'I, feel A'.

Little better.

Good, good.

Well, ChelseyBD, do you want to

Yeah.

this Valentine's energy and go head to head?

would love to go heart to heart with you.

Trey

do it.

It's time for us to

Assess that.

Queens.

It is another verses episode, and today ChelseyBD and 'I are jumping head deep into the lagoons

Today's topic, sandals Resorts.

That's right for this versus episode, Trey has selected the five

So to determine who reads first, we gotta flip that corner and 'I think it's your turn to guess.

I'm gonna say tales.

heads.

All right, so that means that I'm going first, right?

Yeah, so let me share with you all about Sandals Resorts.

So today we're covering reviews exclusively from the trust pilot page for Sandals Resorts.

And at the time of this recording, sandals has A' hundred and 61 reviews

So not, not so high.

Are you there?

I'm here.

Sorry, 'I was just pulling up my review.

Sorry.

'I was like, she's not responding.

Oh,

Sorry.

1.8 is very low.

It's scary low.

It's scary low.

This doesn't bode well for you.

Trey just

this might be one of the lowest that I've seen on our

'I.

Don't think I've ever seen A' 1.8 overall,

Definitely lowest for A' verses episode.

All right.

But this is J but just to be fair, this is only from Trustpilot.

So.

yes.

According to Sandals Resort's website and 'I have A'.

Lot of information here and I'm sharing it all because 'I think it's important.

So Sandals Resort is an all-inclusive resort conglomerate that are set along the most gorgeous

Lucia, Jamaica, Antigua, The Bahamas, Granada, and Barbados.

Stay, play and indulge to your heart's content at any of our Caribbean resorts.

And experience the best the islands have to offer.

Featuring unlimited gourmet dining, unique bars, serving premium liquors and wines, and every

If you're planning A' wedding sandals is the leader.

And Caribbean destination Weddings with honeymoon packages.

So 'I in researching 'I found this interesting tidbit that 'I felt must be included on our show.

The company had A' policy dating back from 1981 that could not allow same sex

A' Couple is defined as one female adult, and one male result.

One possible cause for this policy may have been that homosexuality was illegal in Jamaica.

This policy received A' great deal of publicity.

Only when stays at their resorts were offered as prizes and various promotions by

Oh

such as Microsoft, Yahoo, and US Airways.

In 1999, so that was 19 years.

No, that was 18 years before A'.

Anyone ever thought about it?

Okay.

Later reports indicated that some resorts also made no accommodations for people with

So naturally the companies involved promptly severed their relationships with sandals.

Stating that they were unaware of this discriminatory practice adverts for the company.

This is amazing.

Were banned from the London Underground in 2003 after public objections were raised.

So of course, as the story will go, sandals ended its policy of refusing

Wow.

2004.

That is too late.

Sandals.

Isn't that sick?

too late.

A' year after the London subway system stopped running ads.

Wow.

that is also A' distinction for Sandals Resorts.

They do offer family all inclusive resorts, but they also started and have predominantly

now since 2004, this is no longer like they're on the

Yes.

And 'I also thought it would be interesting to discuss it because this is A', an American

So that might be complicated and tricky, but 'I cannot believe 'I mean.

Well, you know what?

You know, it took A' very long time for gay marriage to become federally recognized.

So maybe like that is how history goes.

But for it to be A' couples only resort and then deny couples that do not appear

But we can move forward with the episode, episode stating that they no longer do that.

And of course, me the gay person is doing the five star, but.

'I thought that needed to be included and not occluded.

So with all of that background, why don't we jump into more negativity

Shall we do it?

Let's do it.

Review, That, Review.

All right.

So for our one star review, this is written by Mark S.

This was written in November 14th, 2022, which 'I thought was sort of relevant cuz 'I did wanna

So this is just A'.

Few months ago,

Got it.

subject, our first holiday with sandals.

What A' Con.

Here we go.

Our first holiday with sandals based on their promises of the world's only five star luxury.

Sandals will sell you A' promise of sheer luxury romance.

11 restaurants serving exquisite cuisine, peacefulness and tranquility.

You have A' choice of room types, each escalating in price.

Having spent 10 days in the Sandals Antigua Resort from the moment we arrived, we knew

So here is our translation for all you future holiday makers of what to expect

Oh.

Dash.

Don't expect to get the room you booked.

We paid premium for A' poolside room.

What we got was A' first floor room overlooking A' car Park.

After 30 hours of disturbing confrontation with the manager A', hostile man who

We eventually were moved to another room.

Again, no pool in sight and A', whole host of other issues.

Dash, there are not 11 restaurants as advertised.

There are actually seven and some smaller ice cream and snack rooms.

Of these seven restaurants, three must be pre-booked and we only managed to eat once

The residual restaurants are also really difficult to get.

A' table with up to two hours wait per restaurant every night.

Each have A' small set menu so you'll end up eating the same food.

Furthermore, even the slightest hunger will warrant you having to order two main

Small dash, the beach is public and swarming with local drug dealers.

What.

We stopped using the beach because of the persistent hassle from these

On one occasion walking along the beach, 'I was offered cannabis four times and

'I?

dash.

All the rooms are very tired.

Our second room had A' leak in the ceiling dripping.

What we assumed was toilet water due to its location, fault reported, and nothing done.

The ceiling fan did not work.

The air con was stuck on ice age and could not be adjusted.

The decor had not seen A' coat of paint for quite some time.

The drawers smelled awful and we had to take our clothes out as they started to smell.

The rooms have the most minimal of complimentary toiletries.

No robes, no slippers, or nay other luxury commensurate with their

Dash.

Although the rooms do have stocked fridges as per the all-inclusive, you'll be

Antigua is more like A' Club 18 to 30.

Holiday A' Far Cry from the Quiet Romantic holiday we were promised.

If pool all day phone parties are your thing with loads of really loud

Dash, the staff are in the most part, so miserable.

A' Few kept A' Brave face, but the majority were awful.

Every query at reception or anywhere else met with the same response.

Come back tomorrow, dash.

This is the first resort 'I have ever stayed at.

In the five star category where all sunbeds acquire A' reserved towel by 6:00 AM daily in

As the butlers take the majority of the sunbeds before 6:00 AM putting towels on the

'I apologize for such A' lengthy review, but having given sandals

Even some of these issues, we reported both wall on holiday and following

And given the 'I watering prices, sandals charge for so many false promises, future

Sandals appears to have A' 100% ignorance approach with customer service.

Income is the only thing they care about.

However, Antigua is A' wonderful island full of friendly people.

'I would definitely return to Antigua and I'd recommend it, but

Very broad mind.

A' vivid imagination and money to burn.

We saw so many better resorts along the northwest coastline.

Do yourself A' favor, give sandals.

A' wide birth and select A' real resort.

And that's birth B E R T H.

I'm literally writing it.

What?

What does that mean, wide birth?

'I.

Don't know, actually 'I thought that it meant A'.

Lot of research.

But

Well, it looks like birth is A' type of bed in A' vehicle.

'I don't.

Maybe it's A'.

Mistake.

do we know where they're from?

It sounds like they're like British or Australian or something.

Yeah.

'I.

Think they're British.

It says, yeah.

It says GB next to their name.

Great Britain.

'I.

Donn.

Wow.

'I, 'I, 'I took so many notes during this.

This is really interesting.

And 'I really waned back and forth throughout the review of being like, are they annoying?

But when they get to the point where they apologize for the lengthy

Like 'I felt like the curtain was like, 'I was like, oh, oh.

Like they're aware of, they're trying to like the whole shtick about like, let me prepare you.

Like 'I was like, okay, this person's annoying.

But then at the end when 'I really got that, they like, they didn't feel taken care of, they

So it's like, all right, if, if you're not gonna offer anything for like, not even giving me the

right.

And they're, maybe they meant A' breadth isn't A' breadth of research, the breadth of research

Is outlined here is vast and 'I.

Think that it's good.

Like there's so many things that they touch on.

Can you imagine if you went to A' Resort, you didn't get the room that you were supposed to get.

You could never get into any of these 11 restaurants that they were advertising.

You couldn't get A' seat by the pool.

You, you know, your room was leaking.

It smelled bad.

Nobody was listening to you.

You were being offered drugs on the beach, which is whether or not that's A' hotel issue, 'I

Yeah, 'I.

'I.

Feel like Mark really like won me over 'I think.

But 'I want to go through A'.

Couple of these things.

Do you think that A' premium room has A' pool of you?

Like 'I?

Just 'I automatically think like it's gonna be like loud.

It's not gonna be

Well, 'I feel like it's probab.

'I mean 'I.

Don't know cuz 'I didn't look it up.

But 'I feel like it's probably like you don't wanna have A' view of the parking lot or whatever.

So it's like A' pool view is like premium.

Whereas like A' Beach view is like luxury.

You know what 'I mean?

So it's like if the options are parking lot pool or beach for A', high premium 'I can

Now, what is your thought on this discrepancy between the definition

'I feel like it's A' little shady, right?

Like 'I think that like you should, you could say we have A' seven restaurant and

There's like another way to put it, but 'I don't think that A' snack station is A' restaurant.

Right.

Like I'm thinking about like when you go to like A' Holiday and Express and they

Right?

and Oreos.

Like that's not A' restaurant.

There's no way to define that as A' Re.

Right though 'I do think it's interesting if like the snack

Not as A' restaurant.

Yeah.

'I, I'm in agreement.

It does feel A'.

Little intentionally swindling,

Right?

Especially if it's like, you know, you're reading other reviews maybe that are

Maybe you're thinking, well if there's 11 restaurants we'll get in somewhere.

so, okay.

Then they also talk about the portion size being small.

What's your thought about that?

And there was A', little bit of typos.

'I.

Think in that, in that section.

'I think if you can get as much as you want 'I guess it's okay, right?

Like maybe it's A' way for sandals to avoid wasting food.

'I find that the biggest problem with these restaurants, which Mark did bring

Exactly.

It's reminding me of when we went to Mirial with friends of the pod

You know, have you ever had honey do melon?

You know those little teeny scoopers for honey?

Do.

Like the balls you

Yes, yes.

You know, it's like A', minuscule version 'I.

It's A' ball.

It's A' melon.

Baller.

Melon.

Baller.

Right.

That was their scoop of ice cream.

It was A' melon

Stop.

and we thought it was so funny, but it was inclusive.

So it's, so we knew that we would all order two entrees, which is

They don't say entree, they have A' typo, but, but 'I think that maybe that is just it.

Like you know that the portion is small but it's all inclusive.

So like maybe that's why the weights are two hours because everyone is dining

right?

'I mean 'I.

Do think he's saying that they're embarrassingly small.

That's sort of funny.

The ice cream, the, the melon baller is 'I.

I'd say that's embarrassingly small.

So maybe they could offer like A', do you want A' real meal or do you want an appetizer like 'I?

If it's that small, maybe we could be calling it out.

Or is it like 'I?

It sounds like Mark is British, but is it like an American, British, like

'I was wondering that as well.

Yeah, 'I mean 'I feel like in terms of the issues, that's like lower on the

It does seem to me that like if they had gotten the room they wanted,

right

But 'I would imagine that if you're at an all-inclusive, like you said,

What, what do you think is causing the smell in the drawers?

I'm so confused.

It just sounds like from A', lot of old A', lot of reviews that 'I was reading.

The one sars that it's just old, right.

And like old furniture, old things like they start to smell after A' while, right.

And it doesn't sound like it's like the cleanest dust mold.

Who know?

'I mean if there's leaks happening Could be mold.

Right.

Like humidity.

Yeah.

So 'I would assume with the humidity and the dampness, that 'I the smell could be mold.

And what's your thought here on there being no robes?

That really does stand out to me as like, like that's, that seems wrong for A' five-star

Yeah.

I'm wondering about this Donn.

Don't know if you read about this in your like preamble Cuz 'I was, 'I was like searching

But this whole world's only five star luxury resort.

What's that about?

that's not in the verbiage that 'I pulled literally yesterday from their website.

So, but 'I was doing sandals, resorts, not sandals, resorts, Antigua.

So, you know,

They put it in quotes.

It says, our first holiday with sandals based on their promise of the world's

Like maybe it's just that thing where now, like the power of suggestion, but have they really

Like not having robes in the room, slippers in the room, five star amenities in terms of like

Like, that is not five star,

Right.

you know?

Well, I'm looking here at the Sandals Grand Antigua, and today, right now

It doesn't say only five star.

This actually says it's six star

Oh my God.

That's crazy.

I've never even heard of that.

European grander unfolds from the hillside to villas by the sea at the Six Star

I've never heard of six Star.

I've never heard of that either.

So there is definitely something,

Maybe they read Mark's review.

right?

And they took it down.

'I don't know.

There's definitely something about this whole self-appointed thing because 'I

Like 'I don't,

thought there was some guideline or

right?

Like you have to offer certain amenities to be considered five star.

And also 'I mean 'I.

This is maybe embarrassing, but when 'I was A' kid, 'I used to love that movie.

Dunston checks in.

Do you remember that movie?

'I.

Remember the title?

and there was the like part of the whole premise of that movie is that there

So like 'I would think that you would have to have upkeep like that there.

You can't just label something A' five star hotel 20 years ago and then you're

That doesn't seem right.

Yeah.

It seems like there's A' certification you,

Right.

Like you'd have to be re-upped.

Yeah.

'I mean.

My last sort of question here is about this poolside service, butler service reservations

Like that all sounds kind of like familiar, like 'I.

Just feel like 'I, mean 'I can imagine how frustrating it is to literally

and that was also like brought up A' lot about this whole quote unquote Butler service

Right?

If you're like, it sounds like you're not gonna get A' pool chair unless you're willing to pony up

Yeah.

'I mean, I'm just hearing like all of this stuff is just how they, anytime you're at an

Nickel and dime.

Right?

Right.

Like if you want all the stuff, then you have to get the Butler service.

'I mean it, it's, it doesn't sound shocking to me.

yeah.

Do we think that this is shady

'I don't think that Mark is being shady.

'I believe Mark

'I believe.

'I think Mark is being truthful.

'I do.

because it comes across very levelheaded.

Like it sounds like they are just really disappointed and angered that

Totally 'I.

Think 'I.

'I.

Completely think that 'I mean 'I.

Think they threw A' couple jokes in there, you know, but 'I don't think that that's shady.

'I just think that's like A' little bit of personality.

And 'I do like the fact that Mark ended the review with, you know how 'I is A'

We only have those couple spellings.

Mm-hmm.

. 'I mean 'I.

Think the only sort of common or fluke question mark is really whether or not

But if you're going into this for like A' luxury resort to be romantic, the

But

But also like the leak, like 'I don't know.

There's like this smelly furniture.

Like there's just things and that it's not being addressed.

You know,

thing, come back tomorrow.

No, you don't Tell me that.

just unacceptable.

Ev like for anyone's standards.

Yeah, 'I.

Agree.

'I feel like even if you're at A' Holiday Inn Express and you have A'

Different room.

It sounds like this was sort of holiday ish time and that they were full

It sounds like they were full.

Yeah.

and they must be so booked if like the pool chair, you know, if all that

If it's being touted as this, you know, sort of romantic luxury getaway.

Yeah.

All

'I think 'I could 'I.

Think 'I could crown this.

'I can crown mark.

All right, so ChelseyBD and 'I each have our own set of zero

We will simultaneously reveal our ratings.

The Queens are Tabulating

to school.

Fuck the Queens are unanimous.

Four and A' half crowns.

Four and A' half crowns, right?

Trey, you go first.

Why four And A' half crowns for.

'I really almost did Review Queen 'I just felt like, and I'm not sure how

'I felt A'.

Little bit like 'I would have A' guilty conscience if 'I like gave us five crowns for that reason.

Cuz 'I am not sure, 'I don't know.

But 'I do think that if you're at this luxury resort, they should be

But 'I don't know.

'I think that Mark does A' really great job.

It makes me feel like 'I need to look at other accommodations.

If I'm gonna go to this island, 'I mean they re Mark really sold me.

Yes.

it.

'I, believe them.

'I see it to be true.

And 'I feel swayed.

So very strong.

It was lengthy, but 'I was interested.

'I never felt bored.

So 'I said four and A' half.

Why did you say four and A' half?

Similar reasoning, very close to A', Review, Queen for me, just A', little bit

So that's why 'I went with four and A' half.

But 'I did think it was A'.

Good review.

'I mean the drug dealer portion didn't really make me bad.

Uncomfortable because again, 'I think that this is all within the guise of this is

And you know, there might be some people staying there that cannabis is like A'.

Okay and cool, but there are some people that aren't and 'I think there

Right?

Um, 'I think there should be much more done to make this A'.

True five store experience, but really just so many things with what happened

And 'I felt really glad that 'I knew these things because it, especially with like booking

'I book this type of room, I'm going to get this type of room.

So I'm happy that 'I have this information from Mark and 'I can make A' well-informed decision.

And 'I think Mark was self-aware, um, with addressing the fact that it

So for that reason, four and A' half.

Pretty queenly for me.

Good job, mark.

Yeah.

'I.

Agree.

Good job.

That was fun.

Wow.

Yeah.

Now I'm super curious to hear what your five star has to say because I've

Overall, obviously I've been reading A', lot of negative reviews, so curious

let's take A' break and then we'll come back and discuss that five star

Woo.

Be

Hold your crown.

We'll be right back.

woo.

cupid.

Stop picking on me.

It's game time.

So an honor.

A' Valentine's Day 'I have A' fun game that 'I created for you and

Sweethearts or is it actually Sal, where starts

sweet.

, sweethearts or sour Starts.

Okay.

Explain.

So you know in Valentine's, those candy hearts that have little sayings on them.

Yeah.

Like you're cute.

Be mine.

Yes.

Be careful.

Let's leave it at those examples.

Okay, so that's act, those are called sweethearts.

They've been passed down through like three different companies.

There's like A' whole history that isn't that interesting.

But anyway, they're called Sweethearts.

That's the the name.

So 'I have 14th in honor of February 14th, Valentine's Day.

'I have 14 sayings that are found on either

Okay.

Or on Sour Starts and Sour Starts don't exist.

Sour Starts are made up slogans that are not found on these little Valentine's Day hearts.

So

made up by you.

they're made up by me.

Okay.

All right, so I'm gonna read one of the phrases and you're gonna tell

All right, here we go.

Okay.

Number one,

Okay.

this is A' Sweetheart or A' Sour.

Start two, become one.

Ooh, sour start.

Woo.

correct.

Okay.

So 'I made that up.

Okay.

'I.

Thought it was A'.

Little like Spice Girls and 'I thought maybe that would Meat.

become one.

Yeah.

Okay.

Is this A' Sweetheart or A'?

Sour?

Okay.

You are gay.

Sour start if that's A'.

Sweetheart, I'm gonna be shocked.

Trey,

you're wrong.

So that

you're gay.

You are gay.

Was actually printed on these fucking sweethearts.

Stop.

That's crazy.

insane?

Wow.

'I.

Wish someone had one.

Now you are

you are

literally printed on them.

Okay.

Wow.

'I also maybe should have mentioned in the intro, they are notorious for introducing

Okay.

Okay.

All right.

Fair enough.

So you're tied so far.

Okay.

One A'.

One

Sweethearts or sour starts.

Great job.

sweetheart.

No.

Unfortunately what was actually printed was good job.

Wow.

See, this is tricky.

Trey.

should have

trying to trick me.

Okay.

All right.

Yes.

It should have been Goodger.

Sweethearts or sour starts crazy in love.

Ooh, this sweetheart.

That's right.

Thank God.

Okay.

All right.

I'm tied up again.

Okay.

Okay.

Sweethearts or sour starts fax me.

'I.

Sort of hope that that's A', sweetheart.

You're right.

How clever Fax me.

Who?

Faxes.

There was also A' page

Oh, hilarious.

Yes.

Okay, here we go.

Sweethearts or sour starts ou.

Just,

Oh, you just, mm.

Sour start.

right.

What was actually printed as OU Kid.

Okay.

So is this like A' cross generations that you're finding these?

Yeah.

'I found A'.

Collective.

Definitive

Oh, oh, wow.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

, sweethearts or sour starts.

Why not?

Ooh.

Kind of cheeky but 'I.

Hope it's A' sweetheart.

You're

Woo.

Isn't that sort of cheeky of them,

Yeah.

It's like, oh, why not It might be one of my favorites,

Yeah.

That's A'.

Good one.

Good on you, sweetheart.

sweethearts are sour.

Starts whoopy.

Ooh, sour start.

You are right.

Ooh.

So actually what was printed was Hacha.

That's funny.

'I.

Cha cha cha cha.

Do you know how 'I came up with Whoopy

How

to Chicago?

Hacha.

Whoopy.

Skidoo.

Okay.

Sweethearts are sour.

Starts saucy.

Boy.

Oh my God.

Well, oof.

While 'I Hope it's A'.

A'.

Sweetheart, I'm gonna say Sour start.

But 'I.

Hope it is A' sweetheart.

You're wrong.

It is A'.

It's A'.

It's A' sweetheart.

Yes.

Salty boy,

Saucy boy.

isn't that weird?

'I.

Wonder how many writers they went through.

'I have no idea.

Oh, they did have contests.

A'.

Couple of years where

Okay.

Oh, cool.

Cool.

Sweethearts are sour starts.

Okay.

You were up.

Ooh, 'I.

Amm gonna say, sweetheart.

You're right.

Ooh.

Sweethearts are sour.

Starts sleigh.

Sour.

Start.

wrong.

What?

They really wrote sleigh.

They also had yas.

Girl

Oh, so this was like their gay edition.

Okay.

'I.

Don't know.

'I.

Guess Yas girl.

Okay, we have three more.

Okay.

I'm winning.

I'm winning.

Sweethearts or sour starts

Okay.

Fill me up.

Oh my God, I'm in A'.

Hope sour heart cuz that seems very raunchy.

Yeah, 'I made it up.

oh my god.

Fill me up.

Okay.

Okay, so

Mm-hmm.

two

Okay.

Sweethearts or sour starts Pugs and kittens.

Ooh, 'I.

Think that I'm gonna say sweetheart cuz that just seems too weird for you to make it up.

It's A' Sweethearts.

Ooh,

Good job.

thanks.

one,

Okay.

sweethearts or sour Starts Go home.

Go home.

Sour start.

It's real.

Oh, it's real.

Yeah.

that weird?

Go home.

weird.

Go home.

Isn't that weird?

Very weird.

Very cheeky.

Very cheeky sweethearts.

All right.

That means you won ChelseyBD

'I.

Did it.

with A' Grand Total of nine, right?

you beat me?

If you're listening,

'I.

Hope that your Valentine's Day is full of Sweethearts and not sour starts.

thank you.

Trey fun.

Good game, Trey.

Thank you.

You are gay.

Okay,

Review, That, Review, 'I.

All right, we're back from that rousing game break.

What arousing Game break 'I.

Feel.

Browsed.

Do you feel browsed?

You are gay.

All right, so now . All

Fill me up.

me up.

It is now time for us to hear the other side of the story.

Let's give sandals the benefit of the doubt and so I'm excited to hear the flip side.

Trey, let us know

we are.

All right, so this is the five star review from Trustpilot for Sandals Resorts.

This is written by Katie C, also from gb.

k d, c, from gb.

Okay, great.

So we got, so this is really apples to apples here in A' Way.

Now this was written on August 27th, 2020, and the subject

Oh, okay.

November, 2019.

Having been to Ochi Jamaica last year, we decided Barbados would be A' good.

Second Sandals visit, we went as A' party of six three couples.

The transfer from the airport to the resort was only 15 to 20 minutes.

We were greeted with cold towel smelling of lemon grass, A', very strong rum

Since we were members, we used the iPad to sign in.

The card machines were down, so we never got to put A' credit card on file dash.

We just paid for all of our trips at the end.

Easily enough, we were taken to our rooms and the holiday began.

The resort is huge.

It is so unbelievably stunning.

We stayed in the Baja section in A'.

Crystal Lagoon, luxury honeymoon room with balcony tranquility, soaking tub, lx, The room, had A',

Two wall mirrors, one full length mirror and one light up mirror with magnify

A' Con and A' fan.

There was nothing else we could think of that we would have required in the room.

It was cleaned daily and we had A' turndown service nearly every evening.

The fridge was stocked with the wine and beer of request and was topped up daily.

Hmm.

There is no free rose wine.

Actually.

This says there is no free rose wine, which is A' shame, but you can pay for it if you wanted.

'I had emailed sandals beforehand after reading reviews on how other guests had

'I wanted to ensure we had bookings for tables of six.

There was only one occasion where the table booking was not there, but we sought

'I cannot tell you how incredible the food is here, especially compared to Ochi parenthesis,

'I would highly recommend going to Neptunes for lunch.

The views are insane and the food is fab.

Try the fried chicken and the Burger Chi, or is it Chai?

C h 'I?

not.

It's not.

High.

Chi is so beautifully designed inside and the pad tie is to die.

For 'I would also recommend butcher's , although 'I would say to get an earlier booking as the

If you are looking for late night food, the Merry Monkey and Lover's Lane does some

We went on A' snorkeling and Catamaran trip.

Highly recommend this.

A', hundred $7 pp.

We got taken to Bridgetown and boarded the boat, sailed for 10 minutes,

Then we sailed for around an hour and snorkeled.

For some shipwrecks.

We had unlimited drinks and A'.

Really lovely lunch.

The men played golf, which they said was great.

Bring your own clubs if you can, though.

We also went on A' shopping trip, which was only 12 pp, and we got to see Bridgetown

The pools here are beautiful.

We never had an issue getting six sunbeds together.

'I would recommend saving them as everyone else seems to, but if someone doesn't return

Staff are always around taking orders for drinks.

The beach is stunning.

It is public, but it's no issue at all.

One man tried to sell us something.

We said No thank you, and that was the end of that.

There was no seaweed when we were there.

Sandals have also made two stone wave barriers in the sea, which we

Loved all of the bars.

You gotta A' drink pretty quickly.

Some bars didn't have menus though, so we struggled to pick something

Few occasions, nothing really to complain about, but just would've

You can book lockers and showers to use when you leave, although the ladies lockers did

We were picked up in an A' con minibus and back to the airport we went.

The only real issue we had was that we were not there for longer.

Okay.

K c.

It's interesting how A' lot of your things sort of were also mentioned here,

Yeah, it really did kind of make me rethink some of those points.

Well, first off, obviously we need to address, of course, that this is Barbados.

Mine was Antigua.

It did kind of make me wonder if 'I went back on Trustpilot and just searched the word

That is something that 'I think we need to consider.

Before we go there, 'I do think, what's very cool about K D C, who 'I learned

Nice way.

Right?

that too.

And had A'.

Lot of qualities that we like in A' five star review, which is that

They did book the restaurant right and they had to wait A' half hour.

Like there are some people that would really vetch about that.

Or the lockers only working in the men's room.

Right?

That's definitely A' Complaint.

There are no menus at the bar.

Very similar to our first reviews.

They did say somebody came up to them on the beach that it's A' Public Beach,

And it was like A', not A'.

Even the rose, right?

Couldn't get rose in the bar.

That was A' non-issue.

There were so many things that KC really made A' non-issue, which does bring up the question of

Lot of times the individual, like how, how their perspective, right?

Like are they gonna let these little things sour the whole experience or are they still

'I don't.

Katie C really won me over.

What do you think?

so 'I picked this because 'I felt like so many things were covered,

okay.

I'm of two

Like planted.

so that's what I'm A' of Two minds about.

Either K D C, read A', whole bunch of reviews.

And so they wanted to tackle A' lot of these points after they had the experience, which

Enough to where like you can't tell that it's A' planted review because

Big deal.

But also every negative that they brush off is not A' big deal.

'I still feel like is up to the reader whether or not that's A' big deal.

Right?

Because 'I still think that like, I'm not gonna call Mark crotchety because 'I think that there

They're not gonna give me Rose the credit card machine.

Like they could still have an issue with it.

It's Katie that doesn't have an issue.

The thing that sort of make 'I don't think that it's planted.

And 'I, 'I think that if they were planting it and wanting to make it seem like they

But 'I think being like it's A' Public beach.

That's true.

So then you can say like, we were solicited, but then as soon as we said no, we were left alone.

Like that feels like A' spin,

Which, like maybe Mark was left alone too.

You know what?

'I, he didn't say that was another thing that 'I was thinking in this review.

Like Mark never said that the food was bad.

He said that the portions were

correct.

So you know, Katie's saying that the food was good.

'I kind of 'I believe Katie because it just seems like A' sunny side of the street.

'I know 'I hon.

Ultimately, 'I don't think that it's A'.

Fake review.

'I do think that Katie just has A' positive outlook on things and felt

Lot of the issues that people had complained about in reviews, which

'I mean it's someone after my own heart, you know?

And they 'I love the like excursions that they point out

Yeah, 'I love the mirrors galore.

My goodness.

I've never heard so Muslim describe so many mirrors.

'I know.

That was crazy.

It does seem to me like this is A' newer resort.

'I did get the experience from Mark's review that the Antigua one is old and this one feels not old.

And it seems like the staff is really on it and great

And maybe because this was 2020, you know, maybe people were A' little

And so maybe they were kind of on their best behavior and maybe some

So it wasn't as busy or as crazy A', or as hectic as it usually is.

A' really good point.

Yeah, that's A'.

Good point.

People were happy to work.

Very minimal typos.

Yeah.

What did you think about the fact that there was an Iron and A' board?

That is so funny to me.

Did like don't, do you say ironing board,

Ironing board, but 'I just thought it was like funny that it

It's like 'I, 'I.

Think there would be an ironing board if there's an iron, but sure.

I'm trying to think.

Have 'I ever been in A' Hotel that had an iron

not an ironing board.

'I

Sometimes they're not together, but usually there's

they're not together, but there's usually one in the closet, or like A' full down

Yeah, that really made me laugh.

to me.

'I don't know why.

So also, oh, we gotta point out when they came, they got the sandals Select T-shirts.

So that kind of jumped out at me too.

And they said in the beginning of the review that this wasn't their first Sandals trip.

And so clearly we have to consider that we're dealing in KC with A' loyal

Because if you're somebody that like loves Mac computers, but then your Mac computer has like

And it's, you know, it's not that big of A' deal, right?

So 'I think that like K D C is brand loyal to sandals, wanted this experience to be A'.

Good one,

correct.

Yeah.

No, 'I agree as well.

The sun bads, so here we have,

two hour.

right?

And this is two years before.

that policy.

So they have this policy that if they don't show for two hours,

Think they're being truthful.

They're 'I.

Just have A' little flicker of A' flame inside of me that feels like, did they

Don't know.

Something feels A'.

Little A'.

Little tiny.

Sketchy to me.

But 'I think they're being truthful.

And 'I think maybe that's coming from the breadth of information that they gave us.

Right.

And the specificity.

But at the same time, it is sort of like queenly, like we know to get the pad Thai Chi.

We know to go to butcher's.

What at A' certain time of day.

We know that we can go to Mary Monkey if we just feel like staying in our

Like there's A'.

Lot of really great information that is being given here.

Humor, entertainment.

'I was sort of amused by Katie c 'I.

Don't know that there was humor though.

Yeah.

All right.

'I mean it has an impact for me.

Yeah, definitely impactful.

'I can crown.

You want A' crown?

Yes.

'I can crown.

The Queens are Tabulating.

Okay.

Tied again four and A' half four and A' half.

Very interesting.

Queens are unanimous again.

'I 'I mean.

This was A' four and A' half worth.

This was just as worthy of the four and A' half crowns.

'I felt as Mark was worthy at the top, so 'I had to give the same rating.

'I thought it was really good.

'I mean 'I gave that little 0.5 variance because 'I do think there's A' chance that KDC is A'.

Little bit more of A'.

Sunny side of A' Street, the street than most.

So that was why 'I went with A' four and A' half, but mostly really solid review.

Good job Trey.

Why four and A' half?

So 'I think it's really great 'I.

It is A'.

Little lengthy.

But 'I didn't drift off like 'I felt like if 'I was looking at this resort, 'I would feel like A'.

Lot of the bases were covered and 'I would know how to replicate A'.

Similar experience by like booking things ahead of time.

You know, 'I now have A' better understanding of like perhaps 'I should look at what

it worth?

Yeah,

maybe there's something more beneficial.

But 'I also loved as very queenly that they talk about like touchdown of the plane, the commuting,

yeah,

but 'I just have to save A' little half ground cuz 'I don't know.

So 'I call it my female intuition.

'I think something's off 'I.

Think 'I.

Don't know.

'I don't.

Maybe Katie's grand niece works there or

Maybe, or maybe like part of being A' sandals Elite is like if you write

Next time she's getting A' sweatshirt.

You know what 'I mean?

'I 'I mean who knows right?

Instead of that t-shirt.

So, but very valuable, 'I believe it to be truthful.

And also 'I love that they have been to multiple sandals resorts, which makes me feel like

And it made me feel better.

Like it's not all bad.

You know what 'I mean?

Sandals, which, which brings us to what do we think?

'I don't 'I mean 'I Just really feel.

It could be go either way.

'I, 'I.

Do think the big caveat of this episode is that we're doing Sandals resorts,

So, which sort of goes to show you, it's like, you know, if A' Resort is built in the seventies,

But 'I feel like sandals has been around forever.

'I mean the whole non same-sex couple thing.

'I think is gonna have A' lasting impression on me personally as A' human being.

But 'I, you know, it's like they've amended it.

So like, what else can you do?

And we are, you know, everything is constantly changing in the world.

But 'I, if 'I was looking

That's big of

Caribbean on an all-inclusive situation, 'I know of the brand sandals.

It exists in the world and 'I know of it.

So 'I don't think that this would sway me either way.

'I think.

'I would look to find specific reviews, uh, before 'I pulled the TreyGerrald.

And these costs are very low by the way.

The cost.

Yeah, overall, like 'I, just in going through multiple locations for sandals,

Yeah.

Maybe once A' nickel and dime at all.

Yeah.

'I mean 'I.

Think 'I.

Do think it's interesting that we're doing this as like A' podcast because it feels like A'

So 'I feel like good about the fact that we're sort of breaking this down and saying,

Let's know about the history of, you know, the gay rights and let's.

and disabilities and let's know that you know, if there's not gonna be

It's not just, this is sandals and it gets A' seal of approval.

When was the resort built?

You really gotta do some digging.

'I think is the the takeaway.

Dig in the sand, make yourself A' nice little sand castle.

And then decide,

Build that sandcastle of knowledge.

Well then let's move forward ChelseyBD with the most regal portion of our show.

ChelseyBD, who are you inducting today for?

My, Royal, Highness.

'I am so happy.

You asked Trey.

'I was feeling so warm and fuzzy because it's Valentine's Day that 'I thought.

What is the most warm and fuzzy thing in my life and 'I think it's my seat warmers in my car?

God 'I think they're really underestimated.

These sea warmers, they're amazing for A' woman.

If it's that time A' month, you put the sea warmer on it makes all the difference.

Oh yeah, you got cramps, you got A' bad back put on the sea warmers.

Okay.

These seat warmers, they're something that 'I use on A' regular basis in

And 'I definitely used them when 'I was living on the East coast with regularity.

And never in all of my driving years have 'I thought.

You know what?

It's time for me to thank the seat warmers and 'I.

Think 'I wanted to take this opportunity to say, Thanks.

Seat warmers and 'I wanna induct you as My Royal Highness, because you warm my heart and my tush.

Wait, 'I love this because 'I don't know much about seat warmers.

'I.

It is often like 'I when 'I get cars.

'I always do the base level or, or like the next above base.

Do you not have seat warmers?

No,

my god.

Trey.

Yeah.

'I was really unsure if 'I sh, if it was something like 'I was very attached to having A' sunroof.

That was more important to me.

But 'I never knew really anything about the seat warmers.

Like do you think it's really worth

Oh my God.

Trey 'I.

Can't imagine living without my seat warmers.

'I know, it's like kind of bougie, but 'I have to have my seat warmer.

It makes all the difference.

Seriously, like if you're A' woman and you have cramps and you're not

It really.

How long does it take to heat up?

It depends.

Probably on the car, but mine doesn't take too long.

Like maybe 10 minutes or something.

Like tops.

Listeners, do you love your seat warmers as much as 'I?

Do 'I mean?

'I Don't even live in the A' cold climate necessarily.

But 'I still 'I.

'I live.

'I Live?

'I.

Love it.

There was A' time before we had cars and we would borrow David's parents' car

And so 'I would always, without David noticing, turn his seat warmer on and

Oh, cuz he would be like hot.

Yeah, but like, you know, 'I would do it discretely and

That's so

So I'm just like sitting

And then all of A' sudden he's like, why is my ass on fire?

Yes,

Oh my God, that's so

became A'.

Very fun, practical joke.

So that's how 'I think of Sea Warmers.

Practical joke.

Yeah, well, not all of us can go to the beach or go to Barbados,

on our

Exactly.

You know,

Fill me up.

Exactly, exactly.

Well, we did A'.

Queen.

That is another round on the Argue A' rq, Ferris Wheel of Love.

You are gay.

the wings of that is that, thank you for joining us today.

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'I am at ChelseyBD with A' Y B D.

And 'I am at Terry Gerard

'I knew you were gonna do it on.

On this week's after show pod, we are rating and reviewing A' five star review for

Men, women and kids.

It's super coloristic.

so I'm assuming this is Amazon.

This is 'I did not say that.

It is the Amazon review.

It is from my 'I have A' whole guy gift collection.

So does from that collection.

So to find out what made Trey say,

Yes, you were the first to go blue and you told the diarrhea story.

You're such A' frat boy.

And to find out what made ChelseyBD say

And 'I was like Daddy War Box.

After that point, 'I 'I was like, woo.

Make A' right.

Make A' right.

then go ahead over to Review That Review dot com slash Patreon so that you can

Do it.

Don't 'I waiting for Don't be A'.

Donate.

Be A'.

Donate

Fill us up.

Fill us up.

You are gay.

Love Shaq.

baby.

Love Shaq.

and remember.

Ignore the haters.

You're A' heart Big what?

Ignore the haters.

You're A'.

Valentine's Day.

Queen.

Queen,

Gender nonspecific.

Big heart What?

'I.

Gender.

Non-specific.

Valentine's Heart.

Queen.

Queen.

Oh bye.

Bye

Review That Review is an independent podcast.

Certain names have been redacted or changed to protect the guilty executive produced

Our cover art was designed by LogoVora Vora, and our theme song was written by

That's good.

Has anyone ever done that before?

You think donate?

Don't.

No.

Nate?

No.

Sounds like A'.

More merch.

Merch Alert.

Merch Alert.

New.

Donate Merch coming your way soon.

'I.

Can't wear.

Wait to have A' swag that says donate on it.

Well, it 'I.

It just might happen.

Trey.

Donate today.

Too bad.

Our names aren't Nate

Yeah.

Too bad.

They might be, some people might see either of our names as Nate.

You never know.

t r e y.

That's pronounced Nate

pronounced Nate, right?

'I.

C h e l s e y.

That's pronounced do right?

? Yeah.

All right, you Queens.

on Friday.

Bye.

Okay.