Shownotes
[18+]Jacob is in therapy, and also in a gay bar. Chad is at the other end of the bar, and also in Jacob’s fantasies. Unfortunately, confidence is not in Jacob.
Today’s story is “Live for Love” by Holly Anne Morrison, a master pornsmith offering bespoke adult stories to the discerning population. See her other work in Fur-miliar Places, by Thurston Howl Publications, and its sequels.
Read by Ta’kom Ironhoof, the Equine Charmer
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https://thevoice.dog/episode/18live-for-love-by-holly-a-morrison
Transcripts
Today's story concerns adult subject matter for mature listeners.
Speaker:If that's not your cup of tea,
Speaker:or there are youngsters listening,
Speaker:please skip this one
Speaker:and come back for another story another time.
Speaker:You’re listening to Pride Month on The Voice of Dog.
Speaker:This is Rob MacWolf,
Speaker:your fellow traveler,
Speaker:and Today’s story is
Speaker:“Live for Love” by Holly Anne Morrison,
Speaker:a master pornsmith
Speaker:offering bespoke adult stories
Speaker:to the discerning population.
Speaker:See her other work in Fur-miliar Places,
Speaker:by Thurston Howl Publications,
Speaker:and its sequels.
Speaker:It is a common accusation that we are irresponsible, in our relationships,
Speaker:that we are shallow,
Speaker:motivated only by base desire,
Speaker:that we rush into cheap flings and casual sex.
Speaker:To which one might answer,
Speaker:and what’s wrong with that?
Speaker:Or one might answer,
Speaker:not at all, a multitude of us have (when the law allows us)
Speaker:years-long, decades-long, lifelong relationships.
Speaker:Some of us do both at the same time,
and again:what’s wrong with that?
and again:But the real answer
and again:is that our haste,
and again:our apparent lack of careful, sober, responsible planning
and again:is not out of flighty unseriousness:
and again:it is out of grave seriousness.
and again:We are not rushing.
and again:We are refusing to waste what precious time we have.
and again:Read by Ta’kom Ironhoof,
and again:the Equine Charmer
and again:Please enjoy “Live
and again:for Love” by Holly A. Morrison
and again:“Hi, mind if I sit here?”
and again:He’s too close to me already.
and again:Move on by, keep going,
and again:plenty of fish in the sea,
and again:you don’t need to bother yourself with me.
and again:I don’t say that.
and again:My therapist would be angry with me if I said that.
and again:No, that’s not right,
and again:Jim wouldn’t get angry at me,
and again:but he would remind me that I’m sitting in this bar for a reason.
and again:“Sure,” I say, trying a smile.
and again:It sits weirdly on my muzzle
and again:and I drop it almost immediately.
and again:Oh, god, what must this hunk think about me?
and again:He’s a horse, a good head taller than I am
and again:—that’s not saying much
and again:—with rich black hair starting to turn silver under his chin.
and again:A long mane, not quite salt and pepper
and again:but it will be, neatly braided, frames a long, muscular neck that connects to broad shoulders
and again:and well-defined pecs under a
and again:maybe-one-size-too-small t-shirt.
and again:His eyes are glacier blue
and again:and shimmer in the bar’s dim lighting.
and again:He’s smiling—no, grinning at me,
and again:but it’s not unpleasant.
and again:What’s he doing trying to chat me up?
and again:A whole bar full of eager guys who would love to have some attention from Muscles the Horse
and again:and he’s here talking to some
and again:average height, could-be-more-average weight lynx hiding in the corner with a glass of liquid courage
and again:I haven’t been able to imbibe enough to actually benefit from.
and again:“I’m Chad,” he says,
and again:still grinning broadly.
and again:I want to kiss him.
and again:More than that, I want him to want to kiss me.
and again:I blink. Wait, Chad?
and again:Really? “Yes, Chad, really,”
and again:he says. Shit, he can read minds!
and again:“No, I can’t read your mind,”
and again:he says. “You just have a really expressive face, and it’s
and again:not hard to guess.
and again:It goes with the name.”
and again:He offers me his hand.
and again:“What’s yours?” “Jacob?”
and again:I ask. I don’t know why I ask,
and again:I know what my name is.
and again:We shake. His hand is warm,
and again:his grip is firm but not painful.
and again:This is a guy who shakes a lot of hands.
and again:“Nice to meet you, Jake,”
and again:he says, dropping into the seat across from me.
and again:“You come here often?”
and again:“Ah, no,” I confess. I’m staring into those ice-blue eyes.
and again:They’re like crystal.
and again:Oh, god, I’m staring.
and again:I hastily lower my gaze to my drink, struggling to keep my ears from folding back.
and again:He touches me on the forearm,
and again:his fingers so gentle and kind. I resist the urge to place my hand on his.
and again:I resist the urge to pounce him across the table.
and again:“If I’m making you nervous,”
and again:he says, his voice low so that it won’t carry through the bar,
and again:“I’m sorry. I just thought you could use some company.
and again:If you’d rather I left you alone,
and again:just say the word.” I want to say something,
and again:anything. I want to tell him to go,
and again:I want to ask him to stay.
and again:Part of me is tempted to tell him I’m no good at people
and again:and he should just take me to his place.
and again:A larger part of me wants to run screaming into the fall night.
and again:It takes all my courage to look up at him,
and again:to meet his eyes.
and again:His smile is sad.
and again:“I understand,” he says.
and again:He gives my paw a little squeeze,
and again:then stands and heads to the far side of the bar,
and again:settling onto a stool between a bear and a blue jay.
and again:Fuck fuck fuck. Fuck! I blew it,
and again:absolutely tanked it.
and again:Shit, I might as well go home and resign myself to a life of loneliness.
and again:Maybe I can take up knitting
and again:—a blanket’s about as warm as a boyfriend, right?
and again:I find myself eyeing my drink again.
and again:The ice has all melted and the pale amber drink looks more yellow than anything now.
and again:I take a hesitant sip. Eugh.
and again:I count to three
and again:and then down the whole glass.
and again:It burns my throat and makes me cough,
and again:and I clap a hand over my muzzle to try and stifle the sound.
and again:I’m just making a complete ass of myself here, aren’t I?
and again:Okay, the important thing is not to spiral out.
and again:I take a few deep breaths,
and again:then slip my phone out of my pocket and shoot a quick message to Jim.
and again:He’ll know what to do, I’m sure.
and again:Or at least he’ll have some good advice.
and again:Or something. I become aware that I’ve been staring at my phone for a solid ten minutes.
and again:I shove the phone back in my pocket
and again:and cast about the bar looking for something else to stare at.
and again:My gaze alights on Chad.
and again:He’s got an arm around the blue jay and they’re cackling about something.
and again:I wish he had that arm around me.
and again:I can just imagine that comforting weight on my shoulders,
and again:the warmth of his closeness.
and again:I wonder what it would feel like to rest my head on his shoulder.
and again:I could wrap my own arms around his waist
and again:and just lean in against him.
and again:He’d dip me down, just a little,
and again:muscular arms keeping me from falling
and again:as he presses his lips to mine.
and again:I can almost taste him.
and again:What would a night alone with him be like?
and again:He’s a big guy, but he seems so gentle.
and again:Would he take me back to his place, or want to go to mine?
and again:His, I decide. He would hire us a cab,
and again:because obviously he lives somewhere on the waterfront.
and again:A big high-rise with a view of the ocean.
and again:Obviously, we’d fool around in the cab.
and again:In my imagination,
and again:the cab driver turns up the easy listening station he’s got the radio tuned to,
and again:to drown out the soft moans and gasps as Chad kisses me.
and again:I can nearly feel his big, warm hands on me,
and again:untucking my shirt.
and again:His fingers play through the fur on the small of my back,
and again:tickle up my spine.
and again:By the time the cab pulls to a halt outside of the ritzy condos I imagine Chad lives in,
and again:I’m shirtless. The cab driver gives me a wink as
and again:Chad takes me by the hand and rushes us into the building.
and again:I don’t bother daydreaming the ride up the elevator,
and again:and I’m mildly surprised that we’re both naked as we get out on his floor.
and again:I imagine myself holding my clothes in front of my crotch
and again:as Chad fumbles his keys out of the jeans he’s thrown over his shoulder.
and again:I stare at his crotch as he unlocks the door.
and again:My imagination goes wild with his equipment:
and again:his half-hard cock, poking out of his sheath,
and again:is absolutely massive,
and again:while his balls looks like they might take both hands to play with.
and again:And I really want to play with them.
and again:Chad gets the door open and our clothes disappear.
and again:He drops down on his couch
and again:—it’s leather, of course
and again:—legs spread wide.
and again:I become aware that I’m rock
and again:hard, and I don’t mean the imaginary me in imaginary Chad’s imaginary apartment.
and again:Back in the real world,
and again:I hunker down and cross my legs as best as I can.
and again:I feel hot. I fold my ears back to prevent the blush creeping up them from being too obvious.
and again:A glance back over to the real Chad,
and again:Chadly Perfectassington,
and again:and watch him for a moment,
and again:nodding at the bear like he’s a bobblehead.
and again:He’s so attentive,
and again:leaning forward in his seat,
and again:head tilted ever so slightly,
and again:ears pointed forward.
and again:Is he just a great listener,
and again:or is the bear the single most interesting person on the planet?
and again:“For you, kitten, I’ll be the best listener in existence,”
and again:says the imaginary-Chad in my head,
and again:and I nearly choke.
and again:I forgot that I had left that daydream there.
and again:I imagine him wink and buck his hips invitingly,
and again:making his massive cock bounce at me.
and again:The blunt, equine head has a pearly drop of precome balanced on it
and again:like some sort of art photo.
and again:I imagine myself kneeling down in front of him.
and again:I don’t have much experience,
and again:and I’m forced to imagine him tasting like my ex
and again:—a little musky, a not entirely unpleasant hint of sour
and again:under the remnants of the most aggressively mediocre body wash money can buy,
and again:a touch of vanilla. Mm.
and again:No. It’s my daydream,
and again:he can taste like whatever I want.
and again:Fuck it. Chad is cherry flavored.
and again:And not that cheap
and again:cough medicine cherry, either.
and again:He’s like those secret lollipops that only rich people know how to buy
and again:and which cost a hundred bucks each.
and again:Perfect. In my head,
and again:I have no trouble taking this mountain of horse dick,
and again:burying my nose in the thick
and again:bush of fur where his sheath joins his rock-hard abdomen.
and again:I’ve never deepthroated anyone before,
and again:but for imaginary-Chad, it’s not a problem.
and again:I can feel every inch of him sliding into me,
and again:and there are a lot of inches to feel.
and again:He gives an appreciative moan
and again:and rests his hand on the back of my head,
and again:not forcing me, just a little extra bit of affection.
and again:In the real world, I bite my tongue to avoid moaning myself.
and again:Careful, Jakey, can’t let anyone in the gay bar know you’re fantasizing about going down on a guy. They
and again:might think you’re a homosexual.
and again:With a sigh, I evaluate my life choices.
and again:My drink is empty, and I can’t sit here forever.
and again:The way I see it,
and again:my options are to sneak out of here and hope no one notices that my jeans have gotten significantly tighter over the past few minutes,
and again:or interrupt Chad,
and again:apologize, and see if he’d be willing to take another chance with me.
and again:I pull my phone out and check it.
and again:Jim hasn’t even read my message.
and again:Clearly, I can’t stay here with no drink staring at my phone all night.
and again:I shove it back and stand,
and again:square my shoulders, and march towards Chad McStudley.
and again:He starts to turn towards me and I find myself veering to the far end of the bar,
and again:near the jukebox.
and again:The bartender, a scrawny rat with
and again:artful geometric designs dyed into his pale fur,
and again:nearly invisible tattoos under that,
and again:and piercings in a lot of places I didn’t know you could safely pierce,
and again:raises an eyebrow at me.
and again:“I’m not serving you another whisky,”
and again:he says thickly. Does he have two tongue piercings?
and again:“Why not?” I ask, pretending to be affronted.
and again:At least now I don’t have to bother ordering another.
and again:“Because I saw the face you made when you drank it, cutie,”
and again:he says, pulling out a glass.
and again:“And I’m not wasting good liquor on you
and again:if you’re not going to appreciate it.
and again:You don’t drink much,
and again:do you?” “No,” I admit. “I just…
and again:well, my ex, he was the drinker.”
and again:“Ah,” says the bartender.
and again:He doesn’t press any further,
and again:but works his magic and
and again:presents me with a mysterious, coffee-colored substance
and again:topped with nutmeg.
and again:I take a sip—it’s thick and sweet,
and again:like a chocolate milk,
and again:though it’s definitely not a kid’s drink.
and again:“Brandy alexander,”
and again:he tells me when I look up at him.
and again:“Now, it’s against the sacred bartender code to give advice,
and again:but you look like you could use some.”
and again:I sip my drink and cock my head at him.
and again:“I can see you making moo eyes at Chad.”
and again:He nods his head towards the horse,
and again:now in a heated argument with the bear.
and again:I can’t hear him over the sound of the jukebox, blaring out
and again:some 80s prog rock.
and again:“If you want a serving of that beefcake,
and again:you need to go and grab it.
and again:If you don’t take your shot now, someone else will.”
and again:The bartender inclines his
and again:well-pierced head towards the other end of the bar,
and again:where Chad Six-packsingly is sipping a beer.
and again:His friends have vanished somewhere and he’s sitting alone,
and again:nodding his head along to the music.
and again:“He’s leaving the day after tomorrow,”
and again:the rat says, leaning across the bar to whisper to me,
and again:or at least a good approximation of a whisper,
and again:considering the music.
and again:“Three months, to design state of the art water reclamation systems for the desert.
and again:He will be literally on another continent,
and again:and this is your one opportunity to give him something to think about for those three months
and again:other than desalinization or
and again:whatever.” “Why?” “What?”
and again:“Why?” I repeat. “Why me.
and again:Why not literally anyone else in this bar.
and again:Shit, why not the bear he was drooling over?
and again:Chad is the sexiest guy in this bar,
and again:which is, incidentally, filled with beautiful men,
and again:so why in the world would he want to take me home?”
and again:The rat raises an eyebrow.
and again:Well, he raises a lot of metal that hide where I assume an eyebrow exists.
and again:“Well, one, he already showed interest in you,
and again:so you know, everything else aside,
and again:he’s willing to give it a try if you are.
and again:Two, you need to get some self-esteem, cutie,
and again:you’re a pretty good catch yourself.
and again:Three, that bear is his straight brother.”
and again:I raise an eyebrow this time.
and again:“Adopted brother,” the bartender adds with a shrug.
and again:“He’s only in here to hang out with Chad. Trust me,
and again:I’ve tried to take that ursine hunk home enough to know.”
and again:He gives me a little shove.
and again:“Go on! Go get that deep, human connection that we all crave with another person!
and again:Or at least get laid! Shoo!”
and again:I take a deep breath,
and again:glance at my phone
and again:(no messages, dammit, Jim, where are you?),
and again:down the rest of my cocktail,
and again:and stand up. Chad catches my eye and smiles.
and again:Even at this distance I can see how beautiful his eyes are,
and again:and the smile threatens to turn my knees to rubber.
and again:Or maybe that’s the alcohol.
and again:Regardless,
and again:I screw up all my courage and start making my way down the bar.
and again:On the jukebox, Steve Perry is telling me how much he wants me home,
and again:and I take it for a sign.
and again:Chad has swiveled around in his chair,
and again:still grinning, and I open my mouth to say…
and again:I don’t know what. Hi, I guess?
and again:Before I can say anything,
and again:a jackal built like a rhinoceros strut-waddles between us.
and again:Wagging his tail, I get an
and again:excellent view of an ass that looks like it was carved from marble,
and again:in what is either the world’s tightest leather pants or a heretofore unknown spray-on clothing.
and again:The jackal leans his elbow on the bar and starts to tell Chadward Goodboyfriend how they were made to be.
and again:On the jukebox, Open Arms segues into
and again:Love Is A Battlefield,
and again:and I recognize it’s time for me to beat
and again:a hasty retreat. I can’t make myself meet Chad’s eyes as I slink into the night,
and again:grabbing my coat from the rack near the door as I escape.
and again:It’s cold and clear out,
and again:the bright stars sparkling overhead.
and again:The chilly air knocks some sobriety into me,
and again:but all that does is make me feel even more miserable.
and again:I take stock. I could walk home,
and again:but there’s nothing waiting for me there,
and again:and the hobby store won’t open for hours, so I can’t even start learning to crochet.
and again:Just go home, sit on the couch,
and again:watch late night television until I fall asleep.
and again:That’s pretty much it.
and again:Some stock. I check my phone.
and again:Nothing. Jim must be asleep.
and again:He probably went to bed before I worked up the courage to step foot in the bar.
and again:I don’t want to go home.
and again:I get the feeling, the way one does from time to time,
and again:that sitting alone would be the worst for me.
and again:I don’t want to spiral out.
and again:I wanted to get laid,
and again:but best laid plans of mice and lynxes, I guess.
and again:My house is to the left.
and again:I turn right and trudge down the lonely street,
and again:past a block of closed stores,
and again:until I find myself at a little park,
and again:not much more than a tiny lawn,
and again:some benches, and a couple of statues of great inventors, or something.
and again:I plop down on one of the benches and look up at the sky.
and again:The little sliver of moon had already set hours ago,
and again:so it’s just me and what stars are visible past the dim glow of
and again:light pollution. Well,
and again:if I can’t go home with someone,
and again:at least I’ll have the naughty fantasy in my head.
and again:I close my eyes and try to pick up where I left off.
and again:There’s imaginary-Chad, stretched out on the leather couch,
and again:on full display, giving me that lovely come-hither look with those gorgeous glacial eyes.
and again:I daydream climbing into his lap and his embrace,
and again:his hands on my waist,
and again:my arms draping around his elegant neck.
and again:We kiss and I let his tongue explore my mouth.
and again:I imagine feeling his thick manhood pressing up against mine,
and again:rubbing against the soft fur of my belly.
and again:I can almost hear the sweet, soft sound of his little gasps and moans as we press together.
and again:I reach between us and grab his cock.
and again:It’s almost too big for me to wrap my hand around, but soon
and again:I have him panting and whining.
and again:He breaks the kiss and lifts me bodily off his lap
and again:to lay me down on a soft blanket under the open sky,
and again:bright stars twinkling over us.
and again:Imaginary-Chad lays down on top of me
and again:and I obediently wrap my legs around his waist,
and again:ankles locked just above his tail.
and again:There’s no preamble in my fantasy
and again:—Chad Strongdick has the head of his cock under my tail,
and again:and then he’s inside of me.
and again:It’s a good thing imaginary-me doesn’t need lube.
and again:In the daydream I throw my head back and let out a long moan of pleasure
and again:as he presses all the way inside of me,
and again:his balls resting on the base of my tail.
and again:In the real world, I lean back on my bench,
and again:staring vaguely up at the sky,
and again:and let out a long,
and again:quiet sight. My breath frosts in the air.
and again:In my daydream, Chad is holding onto my hips
and again:as he bucks into me nice and slow
and again:—never mind how he’s holding himself up as I dangle from him.
and again:Physics has no place in my horny imagination.
and again:I pull my coat a little tighter closed,
and again:both to shield against the chill and
and again:also so no one passing by things I’m a creeper,
and again:sitting on a park bench at night with a huge erection.
and again:Back in the much more pleasing world of my imagination,
and again:Chad is rocking his hips into mine,
and again:making me bounce off of his
and again:thighs before he pulls out,
and again:and then back in.
and again:My brain interrupts my fantasy to remind me that I could have had something very like this in real life,
and again:but I chickened out,
and again:and now some brick-house jackal is probably exploring Chad’s willing and eager body.
and again:I grit my teeth at the thought.
and again:In my fantasy, Chad stops and looks down at me funny.
and again:I ask him what’s up,
and again:but he’s ignoring me.
and again:He pulls out, neither of us fulfilled,
and again:and stands, leaving me on a blanket that’s suddenly much colder than it was.
and again:And there’s that fucking jackal,
and again:even more muscular in my mind.
and again:“Hey, bro,” he says, in a voice that belongs on a movie trailer narrator,
and again:“Hope you don’t mind if I cut in.”
and again:He gives me a wink,
and again:and then takes Chad’s hand and
and again:the two of them, buck naked, skip off into the sunset to have hot muscle-guy sex.
and again:Shit. Cockblocked by my own imagination.
and again:I, the real me, that is,
and again:I let out a sigh and stand.
and again:There’s no help for it.
and again:If even my brain is uninterested in fucking me,
and again:it’s time to pack it up and go home.
and again:I’ll order some yarn online.
and again:The flaw in my plan reveals itself as I trudge back the way I came,
and again:cold, dejected, and depressingly sober.
and again:I can’t go home without walking straight past the bar that was the setting for tonight’s complete
and again:and utter failure.
and again:The bartending rat is leaning against the wall next to the door as I pass,
and again:smoking a clove cigarette.
and again:It’s like he came straight out of a goth music video.
and again:He raises an eyebrow
and again:—possibly setting off several local metal detectors
and again:—as I come close. “There you are,”
and again:he says. I consider pretending not to hear him, but it’s hard to work up the energy to be that awkward.
and again:I slow and shrug.
and again:“Chad was looking for you,”
and again:he says in that
and again:offhand manner that people use
and again:when they’re expecting a huge emotional reaction.
and again:I stop. “He was?”
and again:He grins. He definitely has two tongue piercings.
and again:“As soon as he realized you’d left.
and again:It took him a minute to escape from Xander,
and again:but he seemed really upset you took off.”
and again:“Xander’s the jackal?”
and again:A nod from the rat.
and again:I swear I can hear his piercings jingle.
and again:“No one knew where you’d gone,
and again:but Chad decided to go look for you.”
and again:He snubs out his cigarette and glances nonchalantly down the road.
and again:“Oh, look, there he is now.”
and again:The big horse is shuffling down the sidewalk about a block away,
and again:head down and ears back.
and again:Poor guy looks half-frozen.
and again:“Oi! Chad!” the bartender shouts,
and again:with more lung capacity that I expected.
and again:Chad looks up and the rat waves both arms like he’s flagging down a rescue plane,
and again:then gives me a wink before disappearing back into the bar.
and again:Chad runs—actually runs—to me, hooves
and again:skidding to a halt as he draws within a few feet.
and again:“Ah,” he says, suddenly awkward.
and again:“Hi.” “Hi.” Well, time to screw this up again.
and again:“Did Jim give you good advice?”
and again:How the hell does he know Jim?
and again:“I… how? What?” Chadly Beaustud looks a little baffled by my reaction.
and again:“You were just talking to him?
and again:The bartender, his name is Jim?”
and again:His teeth are chattering
and again:“Oh!” I feel a flush creeping up my face.
and again:“Sorry, I thought you were talking about someone else.”
and again:“Oh, yeah, no. He’s a friend, sort of.
and again:I… look, I hope I’m not
and again:pushing things too much but—”
and again:I cut him off. “Take me
and again:home.” “What?” “You’re freezing,”
and again:I say, taking a step closer.
and again:My heart is beating so hard I worry it’s going to explode.
and again:“So I want you to warm up.
and again:I also want to spend more time with you.
and again:So, take me home.” He doesn’t take any more urging than that,
and again:which is good because I’ve used up my allotment of assertiveness for the month.
and again:We don’t talk much on the walk,
and again:but he does slip an arm around my shoulders.
and again:It takes all of my concentration to keep my eyes forward.
and again:He’s solid, but not so solid as to be uncomfortable to lean against,
and again:and a part of me just wants to drift away.
and again:As it turns out, he does have an apartment,
and again:but it’s closer to city center than the waterfront.
and again:We don’t rip our clothes off in the elevator,
and again:but we do hold hands,
and again:and that’s just as good.
and again:No sarcasm, there.
and again:I really just enjoy it.
and again:He lets us into his apartment and then busies himself with the honest-to-goodness record player while I explore a bit.
and again:His apartment is nice, if a little sparse,
and again:and he really does have a leather couch.
and again:It’s older and a little more worn than the one in my imagination,
and again:but it looks soft and comfortable.
and again:A futon in the corner next to the stereo holds a couple of neatly folded blankets
and again:and, very shortly after entering, my coat.
and again:The view, though, is worth anything else.
and again:The big windows look out over the city.
and again:His apartment is higher than any of the other buildings in the area,
and again:at least on this side,
and again:and you can see all the way to the night-shimmering bay.
and again:“Like it?” Chadbert Goodbody asks as he flops down on the couch.
and again:He is, disappointingly,
and again:still wearing his pants.
and again:“That’s why I got this place.”
and again:“It’s amazing,” I say.
and again:I offer him a shy smile,
and again:but then find I’ve run out of words.
and again:Ugh, why is this so difficult?
and again:I try to imagine what Jim would tell me. My brain conjures the disembodied voice of Jim the Pierced Bartender instead of Jim the Soothing Therapist, because of course it does.
and again:“It’s only awkward because you’re making it awkward, cutie,”
and again:the Jim in my head tells me.
and again:“Just drop trou, and tell him you want him to bend you over the couch and have his way with you.”
and again:Helpful. “Ah, look,” says Chad,
and again:looking down at his hands.
and again:He looks as awkward as I feel.
and again:“I think you’re really attractive,
and again:and if you want to do something today,
and again:I’d love that, but I really don’t
and again:want to push you into anything you’re not comfortable with.”
and again:I kneel down in front of him and look up into his beautiful glacial eyes,
and again:taking his hands in mine.
and again:I open my mouth and
and again:no words come out,
and again:because I, apparently,
and again:really want to sabotage myself.
and again:I take a deep breath and try again.
and again:“I just got out of a really bad relationship,”
and again:I confess. “And I’m still trying to learn how to ask for the things I want.”
and again:Deep breath, Jakey.
and again:“But I want you.
and again:I really do.” He gives my hands a squeeze,
and again:then pulls me up until I’m sitting in his lap.
and again:The stereo is encouraging me to lay back in my dreams.
and again:“You got it, Stevie,”
and again:I murmur. Chad raises an eyebrow at me,
and again:and I suppress a giggle.
and again:“Sorry, never mind.” “If you’re going to do whatever my music tells you to,”
and again:Chad says, his arms sliding around my middle and pulling me close,
and again:“expect to have to get down tonight very often.”
and again:My retort is lost in a kiss,
and again:and I let myself melt into his arms.
and again:He must have had some gum or something,
and again:because his lips and tongue are minty.
and again:I slip my fingers into his braided mane,
and again:marveling at the silkiness of his hair.
and again:In response, he squeezes me a little closer.
and again:Under my hips, I can feel him getting hard.
and again:One of his hands slips down to squeeze my rump,
and again:and I give him a little squeak in return.
and again:Well, if that’s how he wants to play it,
and again:who am I to argue?
and again:It’s a little awkward to shift enough to get my hands between us without having to vacate his
and again:very comfortable lap,
and again:but with a little determination,
and again:I get his pants undone
and again:and down around his knees without having to break the kiss.
and again:I can’t tell which one of us is panting harder.
and again:I can tell that my imagination wasn’t too far off
and again:when I stick a paw into his boxers to free his cock from its silky prison.
and again:He’s massive. I could sit here and admire it all
and again:night, but what would be the fun of that?
and again:I lean in close. He smells so clean,
and again:faintly floral with an undertone of something almost leather.
and again:I give the head of his cock a little lick
and again:and he rewards me with a whole-body shiver
and again:and a happy moan. That’s all the encouragement I need to take his blunt tip into my mouth.
and again:He’s delicious. Not rich-people-lollipop delicious,
and again:but sweet and a little bit salty
and again:and not remotely like drugstore body-wash.
and again:I slide down as far as I can,
and again:wanting to take all of him,
and again:wanting to draw out more of those
and again:wonderful sounds he’s making.
and again:I’m doubtful of my chances of burying my muzzle in his crotch,
and again:he’s just too giantic.
and again:But I can get a good portion of him into my mouth.
and again:I wrap my hand around what I can’t get into my muzzle.
and again:Gently, carefully,
and again:I start to stroke him up and down,
and again:feeling the texture of his cock with fingers and tongue.
and again:He’s satiny over steel,
and again:and so hot that I’m half afraid of getting burned.
and again:Chad places a hand on the back of my head, right between my ears.
and again:It just rests there,
and again:comforting, not possessive or controlling.
and again:I start to bob my muzzle on his length,
and again:cupping its underside with my tongue.
and again:“Oh, god, Jakey,” Chad breathes as I pull back enough run my rough tongue over his tip.
and again:He’s leaking pre into my mouth
and again:and it’s just as tasty as the rest of him.
and again:Well, if this is what the appetizer tastes like,
and again:let’s see what the main course is like.
and again:I start moving my paw faster on his cock,
and again:while my free hand reaches down to fondle his balls.
and again:He jumps when I run a finger over his sack,
and again:then actually squeals when I cup it.
and again:I have never met a guy with such sensitive balls
and again:and I promise myself to take full advantage of this fact.
and again:I glance upward to see poor Chad is blowing hard,
and again:head thrown back.
and again:One arm is flung across the leather couch,
and again:hand clenching the cushion.
and again:His other hand remains just as gentle as ever,
and again:those fingers slowly working their way into my fur.
and again:I pull back again, just his tip still in mouth
and again:as I take several deep breaths through my nose.
and again:I can hear the leather squeaking in protest
and again:as Chad digs his fingers in further.
and again:Before I can think better about it,
and again:I dive down. Chad slides into my muzzle, deeper and deeper
and again:until he bumps against my uvula.
and again:I shiver and fight back against my body’s reaction
and again:to having something roughly the length and width of a semi-truck
and again:crammed down my throat.
and again:I try again. He’s leaving for three months.
and again:If I don’t manage this now,
and again:I might never get the chance again.
and again:On the third try, my body gets the message,
and again:and Chad Thrustwood slides down into my throat.
and again:He makes a sound that I don’t believe can be transcribed in any human language.
and again:My hands have gone still while I was focused on deepthroating my stallion,
and again:and I remedy that while I work on pushing my muzzle even further down.
and again:I can only make it about halfway
and again:before I have to pull back to take a breath.
and again:All the while, one paw is stroking his shaft mechanically,
and again:aided by an embarrassing amount of drool,
and again:while the other tickles and teases over his balls.
and again:I recognize my mistake a split second before Chad orgasms.
and again:The first shot hits me square in the face,
and again:instantly soaking into the fur of my cheek,
and again:while the second splatters over my muzzle.
and again:I get him back in my mouth before more of that precious seed is wasted.
and again:It’s got a mild, almost
and again:fruity flavor. I didn’t know a guy could taste so good.
and again:It takes a few moments for the firehose of come to slow and stop,
and again:and then I collapse backwards.
and again:Both of us are breathing like we just ran ten miles.
and again:Another moment passes before Chad works up the energy to open his eyes.
and again:“Oh, Jake, I’m so sorry,”
and again:he says, ears pinning back as he spies the mess he’s made of me.
and again:Frankly, I don’t mind,
and again:but it is pretty cute to see his concern.
and again:“Don’t worry about it,”
and again:I tell him. It might be my imagination,
and again:but my voice feels a little raw.
and again:I hold my hands out to him
and again:and he pulls me up into his lap.
and again:“Though I might borrow your shower.”
and again:He pulls me into a fierce kiss, first.
and again:On the stereo, Stevie Nicks is fading out as she promises that feelings remain
and again:even when the glitter fades.
and again:A little on the nose,
and again:but who am I to argue?
and again:When he’s done kissing me—which is, I might note,
and again:well before I’m done kissing him
and again:—he shows me to the luxurious shower.
and again:Sadly, he seems too embarrassed to offer to share it with me,
and again:and I can only push so far in a night.
and again:After the shower, I feel clean, refreshed,
and again:and still pretty horny.
and again:I leave my clothes in a pile and wrap a towel around my middle to see if Chad might want to show me his bed.
and again:I bet it has silk sheets.
and again:In the living room,
and again:Chadwick MacMuscles is stretched out on the couch,
and again:humming along with the stereo.
and again:The singer is promising that love is just one inch away. “I dunno,”
and again:I say, “Pat Benatar has not given me the best advice tonight.”
and again:Chad opens his eyes and grins at me.
and again:It’s the same grin he used at the bar,
and again:maybe mixed with just a hair of leer.
and again:I don’t mind. “You don’t think we live for love?”
and again:he asks. He springs up before I can respond to give me yet another kiss.
and again:A guy could get used to this.
and again:“If you don’t like it,
and again:I could show you something else?”
and again:Maybe tonight is my lucky night.
and again:“Whatever you want, handsome,”
and again:I tell him. He offers me a wink,
and again:then grabs the stack of blankets off the futon.
and again:Then he grabs my paw
and again:and leads me towards the back of his apartment.
and again:And then he leads me to the fire escape.
and again:I give him a quizzical look,
and again:and a meaningful nod towards my lack of pants,
and again:but he just grins wider and waves me up.
and again:It’s gone from chilly to frigid outside,
and again:but my interest is, as they say, piqued.
and again:Besides, letting my anxiety get to me hasn’t gotten me anywhere tonight.
and again:Fuck it. I follow him up the fire escape,
and again:wearing nothing but a little white towel.
and again:For whatever reason,
and again:the escape goes all the way to the roof.
and again:Someone has set up a little garden,
and again:and the shed and air conditioner box create a natural wind break.
and again:Chad lays down a couple of the blankets,
and again:then wraps us in the other,
and again:and I find myself resting my head on his chest
and again:as we stare out over the quiet city.
and again:“Thank you,” he murmurs into the top of my head.
and again:“Thank you,” I reply.
and again:“This has been quite an evening, Chad…
and again:ah, hey, what’s your last name?”
and again:“Strondick,” he says with absolutely no hesitation. I pull back to
and again:stare at him,
and again:my hand landing on a bottle of something tucked into the blanket.
and again:Chad laughs. “Just teasing you.
and again:It’s Tabari.” “Pleased to meet you, Chad Tabari,”
and again:I say as I pull the bottle out.
and again:It’s a large container of lube,
and again:because of course it is.
and again:I raise an eyebrow at Chad.
and again:He actually blushes,
and again:and shrugs a little.
and again:“No idea how that got in there.”
and again:“Well, it seems a shame to have carried it all the way up here without using it,”
and again:I say with perfect innocence.
and again:My towel finds its own way out of the blankets before I start undoing,
and again:for the second time,
and again:Chad’s pants. I’m getting good at it.
and again:It doesn’t take long for Chad to shed the rest of his clothes,
and again:and then I’m rubbing lube over his dick.
and again:I have to be careful not to overdo it,
and again:as much as I’m enjoying playing with his shaft.
and again:I have big plans for it.
and again:He kisses me as he lays me back into the blankets.
and again:I shift and wriggle until my legs hook over his muscular hips
and again:and then I cross my ankles behind his back.
and again:My own erection is bumping against his rock-hard stomach.
and again:One of his arms slides under my back, lifting me up.
and again:I reach down and take his shaft to guide it under my tail.
and again:We moan in unison
and again:as his tip presses against my entrance.
and again:A gentle application of pressure
and again:and then he’s inside of me.
and again:I shudder and stiffle a cry as I adjust to his girth.
and again:Chad tucks his head against my neck,
and again:shivering himself as he holds still,
and again:waiting for me squeeze my thighs around his middle
and again:to signal that I’m ready to continue.
and again:He goes slow, working himself inch by inch into me,
and again:never rushing, never forcing.
and again:Sometimes he stops completely
and again:and pulls back to give me a chance to catch my breath.
and again:By the time his hips are brushing against mine,
and again:I’m little more than a quivering ball of feline jelly in his embrace.
and again:He’s so incredibly thick
and again:that I’m amazing I can even take him all.
and again:I feel so wonderfully, completely full.
and again:“Ready?” he murmurs into my ear.
and again:I nod—I don’t think I can talk any more.
and again:With that same aching slowness,
and again:he pull himself out about half way.
and again:Pushing back in is easier this time,
and again:and then the cycle repeats.
and again:By the sixth or seventh time,
and again:it’s not longer a push,
and again:but long, hard thrusts into me.
and again:I feel every inch of him,
and again:and it takes all of my strength to keep my legs locks around him.
and again:I let the rest of me melt into the blanket,
and again:staring past Chad
and again:at the moonless, starry night.
and again:Up here, above the streetlights,
and again:it’s easy to get lost in the stars.
and again:He shifts a little between thrusts, and then again,
and again:and then suddenly his blunt cock is gliding over my prostrate on every stroke.
and again:His arm tightens around me,
and again:pulling me close to him,
and again:and my own dick is sliding against his washboard abs.
and again:It’s like nothing I’ve ever felt before,
and again:well beyond my ability to put into words.
and again:All of existence fades down into the feeling of Chad in
and again:and around me and the expanse of bright stars above our heads.
and again:I lose track of time.
and again:I might even have lost track of myself.
and again:I become aware that Chad has stopped and is staring down at me,
and again:breathing hard once again.
and again:I still can’t make myself make words,
and again:but I give him a quizzical is-there-a-jackal-here look.
and again:He smiles at me and says,
and again:“You’re purring.” I touch my own chest.
and again:So I am. I rock my hips to remind Chad that we’re in the middle of something.
and again:He chuckles as he leans in for a kiss,
and again:working his hips against me once again.
and again:It’s not long after that that I find myself coming,
and again:splatting both of our chests with my orgasm.
and again:Involuntarily, I spasm around Chad,
and again:causing him to shudder.
and again:His breath is becoming rougher, harder,
and again:and I do my best to buck against him, encouraging him.
and again:It doesn’t take much encouragement.
and again:With a snort, he slams into me hard enough to cause me to bounce.
and again:I swear I feel him getting even harder somehow,
and again:and then he’s pressing himself to me as tightly as he can.
and again:There’s a moment of perfect peace
and again:and then I can feel him filing me with his seed.
and again:It’s like I’m being pumped full of molten lava,
and again:and I mean that in the best way possible.
and again:I never knew I could feel this warm,
and again:this complete, this utterly full.
and again:Chad is bucking into me again,
and again:working his seed even deeper
and again:as he keeps adding to the load inside of me.
and again:My strength gives out completely,
and again:my legs dropping to his sides as he finishes with one last thrust,
and again:hard enough to make me give a little involuntary mrrp noise.
and again:Chad does his best not to collapse on me, and he
and again:mostly succeeds. We’re still joined at the hip,
and again:and that’s okay by me,
and again:and it takes some maneuvering to roll onto our collective side.
and again:I burrow my head down against his chest,
and again:still purring deeply,
and again:and am ready to just snuggle when there’s a strange musical chime from somewhere in the blankets.
and again:And then another,
and again:and another. It’s like being bombarded by elevator muzak.
and again:Chad sits up as best as he can and rummages through the pile
and again:until he pulls out my coat.
and again:He reaches into a pocket and retrieves my cellphone for me.
and again:There’s a dozen new messages from Jim
and again:—the therapist, not the bartender. “I’m so
and again:sorry, Jacob, my phone was on silent and I didn’t realize,”
and again:it reads. I glance at the others,
and again:then toss the phone onto the blankets and snuggle back in.
and again:“I’ll deal with it later,”
and again:I murmur, before I fall asleep in Chad’s arms.
and again:This was “Live for Love”
and again:by Holly A. Morrison,
and again:read for you by Ta’kom Ironhoof,
and again:the Equine Charmer.
and again:You can find more stories on the web
and again:at thevoice.dog,
and again:or find the show wherever you get your podcasts.
and again:Happy Pride, and Thank you for listening to The Voice of Dog.